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Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal.
I heard this quote recently: ""The truth is like castor oil. It’s difficult to take and hard to swallow, so we get them to laugh and while their mouths are open, we pour a little in." -Harold Clurman
If you have an urgent question, please post it on the main page. Real life keeps me busy and has enough going on to keep me from being on here 24/7.... I hope yours does too! ;)
Current book recommendation: Untethered Soul, by Michael Singer. A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle. The Power of Now, also by Eckhart Tolle. Really powerful stuff in there about not letting your runaway thoughts take over your life. Be present in the Now. You have what you need, right there, right inside yourself. Do yourself a HUGE favor and read these books. They may lead to an important and fundamental shift in your well-being. "Unease, anxiety, tension, stress, worry — all forms of fear — are cause by too much future, and not enough presence. Guilt, regret, resentment, grievances, sadness, bitterness, and all forms of nonforgiveness are caused by too much past, and not enough presence." --Eckhart Tolle
All time fave relationship figure out book: A Fine Romance, Judith Sills, PhD. Buy if you are stuck and can't figure out why he won't commit, or why you keep picking guys who can't commit.
"Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck." -The Dalai Lama
"Most people are doing the best they can, given what they know and understand. Including you. If they knew more and were aware of more, they would do things differently." -- Louise Hay
"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." -Mark Twain
I like these links right now: http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-4593/A-Simple-Way-to-Let-Go-of-Our-Negative-Patterns.html
http://www.positivelypositive.com/2012/04/04/25-life-lessons/
So here's the thing. Asking for help is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness. Weakness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different outcome. Actually, according to Albert Einstein, that's the definition of insanity but I think that's a bit of a strong word choice.
“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.” -The Dalai Lama.
The choices you make may affect others. Think about the consequences, intended or unintended, before you do something that you may have to explain later. Imagine you are standing in front of a group of people and have to defend what you chose to do.... if you can't manage to do it well, that's a fairly plain indicator it's a bad idea.
If everyone who loves you hates your partner, there might be a problem. If you only have your partner, there IS a problem.
http://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-8202/12-signs-youre-in-a-toxic-relationship.html
If he’s mean to you now, he’s only going to get worse. Some people are energy vampires; they feed on the pain they inflict on others. They are broken. They will break you. Get out. Don’t fool yourself into thinking you can fix him. You can’t.
You have my permission to say “no.”
If you are depressed, think of it like an illness. You have to treat it. Medicine can help. Talk to your doctor. If you’re drinking a lot, you’re already self-medicating. You might as well get some prescription-grade pharmaceuticals to help you get to a point where you can figure out why you’re self-medicating.
There’s a reason it’s called ‘junk food.’
Yoga is good for the body and the mind as well as soothing the spirit. Try it. Brisk walks are great too.
Don't eat crap. Canned sugary beverages or canned diet beverages are NOT good for you, they have no nutritional value and set you up for a lot of bad stuff. Don't drink them. Water is good. Decide if you can tolerate coffee or tea (I love them both) and then drink those in moderation.
Life is nasty, cold, brutal, unfair, and crappy. It’s also amazing, beautiful, uplifting, awe-inspiring and fun. You choose how you’re going to approach it every day.
I have a few soapboxes that I tend to haul out: I don't like to see people put their health or future at risk and I REALLY don't like to see them put other's health or future at risk. I feel strongly that not providing good sex education or keeping sex education from children is a form of child abuse. It's like sending them out into the world not knowing how to buckle a seatbelt.
I love this video from plannedparenthood.org (How Pregnancy Happens): http://websrvr40nj.audiovideoweb.com/avwebdsnjwebsrvr4501/portal/media/media-050516-pregnancy.html
More good information from plannedparenthood.org on the various methods of birth control:
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/health-topics/birth-control//birth-control-effectiveness-chart-22710.htm
I don't have any expertise in abusive relationships, but I do think there are some common sense basics that people who are in one might be missing. Find out more here: http://www.mental-health-matters.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=171
Be brave, Tell the truth. Be kind. If you can do that all in the same sentence, you will be an amazing agony aunt. Sign up. I'm still trying to reach that ideal. |
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| Latest articles: Questions to ask before getting married!
No replies yet... 24 March 2016: I just read a great article in the New York Times online. "13 Questions to Ask Before Getting Married” It was written by Eleanor Stanford and posted March 24, 2016. http://www.nytimes.com...
Need Christmas or other holiday gift ideas? Look here!
No replies yet... 3 December 2013: Every year, DearCupid sees an influx of questions asking "What should I get for my boyfriend/girlfriend/significant person? Help!" This question has been asked so many times, we suggest our posters use the search feature of the site here: ...
A little primer on women and sex...
This question has 29 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
11 November 2011: A Primer on Women and Sex Look, we girls are funny. We don't sexually mature all overnight, our first sexual experiences are often painful, crappy and frankly unfulfilling on many levels. We don't know how to give blowjobs, most of us don't grow up ...
Valentine's Day Gift Ideas
This question has 6 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
26 January 2011: Each year, we here at DearCupid see many submissions asking, "What should I get my boyfriend/girlfriend/wife/husband/lover/partner for Valentine's Day?" I think it would be great to consolidate these questions and some ideas into one place, so I've ...
Retrograde jealousy
This question has 102 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
25 July 2010: DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
Advice to young men about young women
This question has 11 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2008: I posted this as an answer to a young man, a virgin, who wanted to know about his young girlfriend, also a virgin... First, I know it's hard to believe but a girl her age may not know her body very well. She may not know what is sexually stimula...
More than one way to get up the Duff!!
This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
14 March 2008: Some us ‘Aunts’ have been entertaining ourselves with fundamental questions about various ways pregnancy occurs…. I remembered that there were strange stories surrounding the births of some of the gods and goddesses of ancient myth, and I had a ...
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She said she didn't want to hang out any more and I'm scared! A part of me wants to make some gestures so she knows how much I care!
Q. So I'll start first by stating that some of my friends and even adults while growing up have asked me again and again if i had ASD (Asperger's Syndrome Disorder) though i never saw any professionals growing up (they say it shows vividly in my ...
A. 10 March 2016: Hi, I thought of this question when I found a link after reading a book called “The Rosie Project.” It’s in the Kindle edition.p /
It’s called the Aspie Quiz, takes about 20 minutes and can be taken anonymously: http... (read in full...)
Why why do girls dump guys who treat a girl like an angel?
Q. I wonder why ladies, I never hear a woman, talk about them dumping a nice guy, on here. I here all the time,How they get hurt, by the guy who treated them bad. It does happen all the time, a guy treats a woman fantastic. Then a woman, breaks t...
A. 4 March 2016: It is rather interesting that often the men who self-identify as "nice" seem to struggle so much with grasping the nuances of women's selection criteria. I think it's the Goldilocks problem. You know: this bed is too hard, this bed is too soft, this ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is hiding 1/2 naked photos of women in his locked app on his phone
Q. I've been with my partner for a year and a half. There were trust issues before the relationship started as he was seeing myself and my work colleague at the same time. We eventually got through the issues and all has been fine since. Recently ...
A. 3 March 2016: "All has been fine" and "I was paranoid to why he would have the app" do not mesh.
All has not been fine. "There were trust issues" is such a passive tense phrase I have to ask you to clarify. Who had trust issues? You? Him? The other woman he was ... (read in full...)
I am on the verge of being divorced over a dog! Dog left me for the dog!
Q. My husband and I have been together for 2.5 years and married for 5 months. Our relationship was picture perfect. No arguments, completely devoted to each other etc. Not to mention he stepped up and has been a father to my 2 kids from a previous ...
A. 3 March 2016: You're missing other resources: the dog's veterinarian and the local dog behavioral specialists, such as trainers for problem dogs (which in 99% of the cases is actually the humans' fault). Veterinarians are trained not only in the medical side of ... (read in full...)
How do I make this threesome idea happen?
Q. I want have a threesome with my wife and friend. the game plan is they should not know each other so I want to blind fold them and to convince them for this and then the game goes on.... suggest me how to make this wonderful...!?...
A. 2 March 2016: A few years ago, at a class reunion, I spent sone time talking with a couple who seemed happy enough together. There were a couple of things that clued me into the fact that he wanted to be a swinger and have spouse swapping parties and threesomes. ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is pregnant and she is becoming very emotional and cries a lot. How can I comfort her?
Q. How can I comfort my girlfriend ? My girlfriend is pregnant with our first child. She's about 5 months along. She's been really scared the last couple months. I don't know why I tried asking her but she won't talk to me. She cries to sleep almos...
A. 1 March 2016: She cries a lot, apparently: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/girlfriend-had-bad-dream-how-can-i-comfort.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-was-my-girlfriend-crying-during-sex.html
http:... (read in full...)
My jobless fiance gambles and owes a lot of money. What should I do? How can I help?
Q. Hi.. im so stress out lately because of what happened to my fiance. We planned to marry soon and he tried to gain easy money from gambling. He lost all his money and worse, he used some of his parent money too. I dont even know while he did this...
A. 1 March 2016: He made some choices, he needs to face the natural consequences. Tell him you'll go with him when he tells his parents what he did, with his money and theirs.
Hiding it and trying to borrow from friends will only set up more problems and more dram... (read in full...)
I need to break my duck with girls
Q. How to get over being a virgin? I'm turning 23 and no matter what I've tried it hasnt worked out. I've dated a couple girls in high school but we were "too young" to have sex according to the girls. We loved each other when we were dating but ...
A. 1 March 2016: Maverick, I understand why you're saying to just go ahead and get it over with. However, the OP is rather rigid in his thinking and stated this in that other answer I quoted: "Im also incredibly stubborn in my resolve to fix this. I wont use ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling guilt and shame about meeting up with my ex when my now fiance and I were first dating
Q. Hi, Hope you can help with a dilemma. I met a great guy 18 months ago and now we are engaged. Our first two weeks were strange though. He was convinced it was the real deal me less so. Two weeks later we split before getting back togeth...
A. 29 February 2016: Would any of this have been an issue had you not gone through these messages? Are you looking for something to beat yourself up for?
This seems like an over-reaction to an unnecessary analysis.
Could it be that you are feel you are too happy an... (read in full...)
I need to break my duck with girls
Q. How to get over being a virgin? I'm turning 23 and no matter what I've tried it hasnt worked out. I've dated a couple girls in high school but we were "too young" to have sex according to the girls. We loved each other when we were dating but ...
A. 29 February 2016: Oh, and CindyCares is quite correct, your approach is topsy turvy. It's kind of like the chicken/egg thing, you know, which came first? You think it's the egg, when in fact, it's the chicken.... (read in full...)
I need to break my duck with girls
Q. How to get over being a virgin? I'm turning 23 and no matter what I've tried it hasnt worked out. I've dated a couple girls in high school but we were "too young" to have sex according to the girls. We loved each other when we were dating but ...
A. 29 February 2016: Hi OP, I see you've deleted your account, so all the time the aunts have spent here trying to help has been, well, wasted.
You lost me back in November when you posted this in a followup up to a question:
"I also dont want to date older women so... (read in full...)
Was I rude earlier? I need help learning how to communicate with her.
Q. There's a girl at my job who I'm very attracted to but things aren't really able to move forward the way I'd like. I'm not able to talk to her because I'm simply too nervous, and I'm sure I probably come off as rude now because when she's spok...
A. 26 February 2016: The key to making someone think you are a brilliant conversationalist is to ask them all about them!
"Hey, how is your day going?"
"What do you think about xyz music act?"
"Have you heard about lmnop play/poetry jam/rock climber/spor... (read in full...)
How can I successfully encourage my Bf to take better care of himself and improve his personal hygiene?
Q. I want my boyfriend to take better care of himself when it comes to hygiene and clothing. I don't think I'm asking for too much: I would like him to brush his teeth twice a day, I would like him to shower and wash his face once a day, I would lik...
A. 26 February 2016: I know a man who has very specific personal hygiene standards. (He's the brother of a friend of mine, FWIW) He can't function well unless daily rituals are followed. He won't pick up change that falls out of his pockets, that are full of holes ... (read in full...)
How do I contact this married man to tell him I'm pregnant? I want him to help support me!
Q. Dear Cupid I'm the op of this post "He lied to me..he was cheating on his wife with me. Do I tell her?", which I posted a month back. I found out that I'm pregnant few days back and I'm positive he is the father since I didn't have sex with an...
A. 26 February 2016: Go to an attorney ASAP. You're now in the realm of legal action as you will need guidance for all the steps you are asking about.
Sorry your birth control failed and that he was a big liar. As you know he's willing to lie and cheat then you'll need... (read in full...)
His comment was so vague! How do I read into it?
Q. I am in my 40s and had noticed this guy that I thought I had recognised from years ago but didn't feel I could go up and ask him. I left my number with the local coffee shop for him and he text me that same day and turned out that he used to live ...
A. 24 February 2016: Are you trying to work out whether or not to keep on communicating with him? Is there some reason you can't simply say something like, "Well, it's a small world, someone from our village winds up living so close. Tell me what's been happening with ... (read in full...)
The student I fancy has a crush on me. Could I date him after he finishes or is it just too creepy?
Q. Hello. I am a 34 yrs old college teacher. There is this 20yr old student I fancy. Nothing ever ever happened. I could of course tell he fancied me a lot and the other day he finally came on to me and told me he has a huge crush on me. He will finish ...
A. 24 February 2016: "I think I can grade him and evaluate him properly even if I am pondering wether to start dating him or not. Is that plain wishful thinking?"
I think it's plain wishful thinking. Why not ask your superior or mentor what he or she thinks of this... (read in full...)
How can I stop my family from questioning everything my husband and I do?
Q. Hiya Just a little question for you all..I am 35 years old, married, own a beautiful home and have a good job. All which I achieved. When I was a teenager, I had some fun like every other teenager, went travelling etc. I tried university but d...
A. 24 February 2016: Combine that with taking the person's hand in yours, look deeply into their eyes, and ask the question, very softly and calmly. Start to seem concerned for their own personal finances.
"Why do you ask, do you need to borrow some money?"
"Is t... (read in full...)
I want to let go of the past and move on into the future. Any tips?
Q. As a result of coming to a better understanding of some behaviours/thought processes that have not helped me in the past, I am at at the point where I feel I am ready to make some positive changes in my life. In other words, I'm sick and tired of ...
A. 24 February 2016: Read Eckert Tolle's books.
Practice mindfulness. Yoga, meditation, chanting, exercise are some examples of how to connect mind with body. Also a great way to meet people who are positive, non-judgmental, supportive and frankly, healing.
Take ... (read in full...)
How can I stop my family from questioning everything my husband and I do?
Q. Hiya Just a little question for you all..I am 35 years old, married, own a beautiful home and have a good job. All which I achieved. When I was a teenager, I had some fun like every other teenager, went travelling etc. I tried university but d...
A. 24 February 2016: I love the snarky answer tactic.
Another tactic is to answer with questions.
"Why do you ask?"
"Why do you seem so concerned about our finances?"
"Why do you keep asking the same question over and over again?"
"What do you mean by persisting i... (read in full...)
The student I fancy has a crush on me. Could I date him after he finishes or is it just too creepy?
Q. Hello. I am a 34 yrs old college teacher. There is this 20yr old student I fancy. Nothing ever ever happened. I could of course tell he fancied me a lot and the other day he finally came on to me and told me he has a huge crush on me. He will finish ...
A. 24 February 2016: Would it be inappropriate to start dating him? Well, that's a question for later. If this is your student, and you are responsible for grading him, you have just seriously undermined your ethical responsibility to be fair to him and to all your stu... (read in full...)
My actions drove hime away. What can I do?
Q. Hey guys. I complain about cheating in relationship, but I'm the one who cheated. I was a nympho until I met this person who I really love. I changed for him, and we lived happily until the troubles started to appear between us. I began to tal...
A. 23 February 2016: Threatening suicide is emotional blackmail. It's unfair and a low blow. Do you understand that?
[Your follow up says that you had sexual intercourse with many men. There are still many questions to follow up.]
Your flag shows as Egypt, what ... (read in full...)
She said she didn't want to hang out any more and I'm scared! A part of me wants to make some gestures so she knows how much I care!
Q. So I'll start first by stating that some of my friends and even adults while growing up have asked me again and again if i had ASD (Asperger's Syndrome Disorder) though i never saw any professionals growing up (they say it shows vividly in my ...
A. 22 February 2016: You've known her a little over a month. You are moving way too fast.
You may need the comfort of knowing exactly where you stand but that's your issue, not hers.
Have a look at this website that offers a 'test' that might alert you to Asperger... (read in full...)
Do women mind being approached in the gym?
Q. Women, do you mind if men approach you in the gym? There's two women in my gym, around my age, who I've noticed looking my way every time we're in the gym working out. Usually I have my headphones on and mind my own business, but it's kind of...
A. 22 February 2016: Oh, and to answer your question more specifically. My trainer is a very attractive woman who has had to fend off men. She would not be open to an approach. She is married and not on the market. She's just super attractive and spends time in the ... (read in full...)
Do women mind being approached in the gym?
Q. Women, do you mind if men approach you in the gym? There's two women in my gym, around my age, who I've noticed looking my way every time we're in the gym working out. Usually I have my headphones on and mind my own business, but it's kind of...
A. 22 February 2016: Smile, say hi, do your workout. Be sure they aren't looking your way because you are hogging a machine or dropping weights with a loud *clang*--- [sorry, pet peeve of mine]
Do that for a month or two, smile, say hi, do your workout. Pay atte... (read in full...)
How do I handle her confession?
Q. Hello, I've known this girl from college for a few years and she and I gradually became a little closer over time. She has a boyfriend for 4 years and I respect that and I did not want to pursue a relationship with her anyway. We were friendly an...
A. 22 February 2016: And just to ask a followup question, is it typical for people to leave school in Belgium in the middle of February? I mean, did she get her degree or qualification?... (read in full...)
How do I handle her confession?
Q. Hello, I've known this girl from college for a few years and she and I gradually became a little closer over time. She has a boyfriend for 4 years and I respect that and I did not want to pursue a relationship with her anyway. We were friendly an...
A. 22 February 2016: Wow, that's kind of a selfish and dramatic thing she did. "Oh I have feelings for you" and then *whoosh* she's gone.
I think you are right to be annoyed.
I'd take this as a rather immature girl's way to try to create a memory.
In the end, just ta... (read in full...)
My actions drove hime away. What can I do?
Q. Hey guys. I complain about cheating in relationship, but I'm the one who cheated. I was a nympho until I met this person who I really love. I changed for him, and we lived happily until the troubles started to appear between us. I began to tal...
A. 22 February 2016: Threatening suicide is emotional blackmail. It's unfair and a low blow. Do you understand that?
What do you mean by the term "nympho"? Someone who flirts a bit with other men? Someone who has sex with many men?
Your flag shows as Egypt, what doe... (read in full...)
Is this worth saving?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been together for just under 2 years. I have recently been under some stress at work. I have a lot on at uni. We live an hour away from each other so its difficult to just see each other - a couple hours here and there. So ...
A. 22 February 2016: Why exactly were you annoyed with him? That wasn't clear.
If you are petrified about losing him, have you thought about other ways to communicate with him about what is troubling you? Like not texting, but actually talking in person?
I can't an... (read in full...)
I need to stop stalking my ex-boyfriend's ex!
Q. I was with my ex boyfriend for three years and the whole time his ex girlfriend made things really difficult for me. When I started dating him he talked about a female friend a lot, so much it made me feel uncomfortable. But after some time ...
A. 22 February 2016: I think you need to open up about your obsession to your friends and family. Have you actually told close friend about what is going on? Told someone about your anger and jealousy?
Set up a camera to film yourself when you are online doing your stal... (read in full...)
Great sex but now there's mixed messages
Q. I had an amazing night of passionate sex with a lady at work but just when I thought it would lead to something she continually blows hot and cold on me. Some days she makes it obvious that it was just a one-off and will never happen again but other ...
A. 22 February 2016: Based on this, of course she's just teasing you. She met you, had the ONS and has decided that was that, thank you very much, now please do this work thing for me, and that work thing, and it will continue as you seem to be thinking romantically ... (read in full...)
We locked eyes for 4-6 seconds? What does this mean?
Q. me and this guy used to really like each other about a year ago or 9 months, we have talked a bit since then but the other day i was walking down the stairs at school and it was full of people and he looked at me and i thought he would look away as ...
A. 16 February 2016: Hi keegan, how old is he? This sounds like a question from younger person. :)
And to answer your question, it doesn't sound like it means much. Why aren't you talking in person? ... (read in full...)
Can I stop friends hitting on my mom.
Q. its about my mom, i think she is acting insane. I am 26, my mom is 46. My parents know each other since they were 14. They got married early and had me when they were 20. lately they are though friendly with each other, live their separate ...
A. 15 February 2016: How did she know he liked her in a sexual way?... (read in full...)
Why don't I have enough self respect to walk away?
Q. I think he wants me to break up with him. I have been with him for 6 months.He doesn't like confrontations.so he is trying to get me to break up with him. He openly goes out at nights. He is on Craigslist sleeping around.One of my friends set up a...
A. 15 February 2016: Why do you think you can't just walk away? Is this the type of treatment you have been conditioned to expect and accept?
Do you have friends and family who love and support you? Ask them for help and just block this walking STI for good!... (read in full...)
After 7 years of only seeing his son once, my ex now wants in his life. What shall I do?
Q. Hi everyone my son is 7 years old my ex has never seen him apart from once when he was 2 weeks old I had to involve the police as he kept threatening me and even threatened to make me have a miscarriage I was willing for him to see his son but he ...
A. 15 February 2016: I would check in with this organization: https://www.womensaid.org.uk to get a referral locally.
Has this ex fulfilled his financial responsibilities toward the child? If not, why not?
Block this individual on Facebook until you have received... (read in full...)
I had a dream that my much older boyfriend is gay. Should I be concerned?
Q. Hello, I had a dream a couple of nights ago that my boyfriend of a year had a homosexual affair. what happened was, in my dream I visited a lad who was in my year at school whom now works at my place of work. my boyfriend arrived at the house and...
A. 15 February 2016: [FWIW, I know many manly gay men. Not sure what that means, exactly. They are physically fit, on the top at their careers, look great and lead healthy happy lives. They travel, compete in sport and have lots of friends, gay and straight.]
Maybe the ... (read in full...)
I'm living with a girl who still has boyfriend. She says she'll end it with him when things are right
Q. So I've been seeing this girl now, but she has a boyfriend. ive been basically living at her place for a couple weeks now and she tells me she loves me and wants to be with me. Shes very close with his family and they have been together for a long ...
A. 15 February 2016: Tell her when she's single for real you are in. Before that? Um, don't move in and limit contact. What is she going through? Who knows? It's up to her to fix her messy relationships.
How do you get through it? Distance, distance, distance.
Unles... (read in full...)
I think my so called boyfriend spent valentines with someone else
Q. I was supposed to see him on the Saturday but I never heard from him and I text him in the afternoon to check whether it was still on,he didn't reply so I tried calling a couple hours later but he'd switched his phone off.he phoned back at about 10 ...
A. 15 February 2016: "he did the laugh he always does when he's been caught in a lie." Oh my dear, if you know that laugh and you know he's a liar, it's time to move on.
Just block him on your phone and assume he's moved on as well.
Sorry to hear he's been treating... (read in full...)
I have a woman now who wants to be with me but my heart is still hurting over my ex
Q. Why, does this happen, our time together I thought was, amazing, never argued, then, she was gone, no good byes, am OK, that it's over, but why not, be decent, about it, I didn't do nothing wrong, yes I came on strong, but only got to see her, once ...
A. 14 February 2016: You say that you have a woman who wants to be with you all the time? Well, then treat her right. And that means, don't lead her on.
As for the ex and how she treated you... well, she wasn't the best choice for you, despite your earnest wishes to t... (read in full...)
Should I have lied to my friend when she asked me for my true opinion?
Q. First of all we’ve been friends since childhood. Now we’re in our forties. I’m married with two kids. She’s single and looking. After a particularly bad experience with a man, she asked me for my honest opinion. And I gave it to her. I told her...
A. 14 February 2016: If you've been friends since childhood, then you are in one of two classes of friends. The ones who are with you, no matter what. Or the ones who are with you, as long as x y or z requirement is met.
You have now shown her that you are in the latt... (read in full...)
How do I know the girl I met on European dating site is for real?
Q. Hi, I am an American man in my early 40s. I joined a European dating site 4 or 5 months ago out of curiosity. I've never been married, never related so well to Americans. Always liked Europeans more. I am employed but shy, never so good with wom...
A. 13 February 2016: I think you need to get some internet savvy. Read up on love scams. http://www.419eater.com
Or watch some very fascinating shows here: http://www.mtv.com/shows/catfish-the-tv-show
https... (read in full...)
Is it possible to mess up your chances with the right guy?
Q. MOD NOTE: This has been submitted in a very similar way the other day... recently went on a first date with a guy that is seems so awesome. He's funny, sweet, handsome and fun. I think he had a great time with me and even texted me after the...
A. 13 February 2016: So what did you learn?
And to answer your questions. "Can you really blow your chances if it's the right guy?" Yes, you can blow your chances. So can the guy.
"Do you think that I blew it with someone that could have been the right one for me?" No ... (read in full...)
What is crossing the boundary between an attached guy and his female friend? Please enlighten me!
Q. Recently, a female friend called my boyfriend about a personal issue. She was talking about a guy whom she slept with and did not want to pursue anything beyond FWB with her. They used to be colleagues, but by the time this call took place, they ...
A. 11 February 2016: This may be just as simple as opening his eyes and cluing him into thing to which he's been oblivious.
I'd err on the side of assuming he's a good guy who needs some guidance-- unless you have other causes for concern?... (read in full...)
What is crossing the boundary between an attached guy and his female friend? Please enlighten me!
Q. Recently, a female friend called my boyfriend about a personal issue. She was talking about a guy whom she slept with and did not want to pursue anything beyond FWB with her. They used to be colleagues, but by the time this call took place, they ...
A. 11 February 2016: That's a very good point. When you talk to him about it again, ask him how the same scenario would play if the roles were reversed.
Now, as you are the one feeling insecure, that tells me that there's some imbalance in the relationship to begin with... (read in full...)
What is crossing the boundary between an attached guy and his female friend? Please enlighten me!
Q. Recently, a female friend called my boyfriend about a personal issue. She was talking about a guy whom she slept with and did not want to pursue anything beyond FWB with her. They used to be colleagues, but by the time this call took place, they ...
A. 10 February 2016: Oh and PS I did not discuss sex, sexual relations, anything bedroom related with this male friend. I needed help in understanding why the boyfriend seemed so distant and not doing the things I expected from a boyfriend.... (read in full...)
What is crossing the boundary between an attached guy and his female friend? Please enlighten me!
Q. Recently, a female friend called my boyfriend about a personal issue. She was talking about a guy whom she slept with and did not want to pursue anything beyond FWB with her. They used to be colleagues, but by the time this call took place, they ...
A. 10 February 2016: Back in my 20s, I asked for a male friend's help in decoding the relationship woes I was experiencing with my then boyfriend. I didn't ask him out for drinks, just to be clear. I just needed someone who was male to explain things to me. He did, it ... (read in full...)
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