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*oneypie agony aunt


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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Thought I had a chance with my crush when his relationship failed, but now they're back together. Should I move on?

Q.   Hi all, I need some advice. I've had this massive crush on a guy for the last 5 years. He's a year older than me and I met him in school. He's an amazing guy, extremely good looking, gentleman personality and has a great career ahead of him. I ...

A.   24 April 2014: I agree with Uncle Wise (and the other uncles & Aunties) you have gone WAY past crush and into obsession. Waiting 4 1/2 years is 4 1/2 year is WASTED time. It is time to let it go. Not just try. LET HIM GO from your mind and your heart. He i... (read in full...)

No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!

Q.   I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...

A.   24 April 2014: You did good! Enjoy the holiday an TRY not to think about him OR beat yourself up for being with him. Chalk it up to a lesson in TRUSTING your gut. Good luck!... (read in full...)

If it's over, why does he care?

Q.   I had recently connected with an old boyfriend via Facebook. When I was 20 and he was 28 we dated on and off for 3 years but he ended up breaking up with me to marry someone else. We went our separate ways, both married other, had kids etc... ...

A.   23 April 2014: I would not (and I'm sorry to say this) put too much stock into the whole "you are the one that got away, my marriage sucked boo hoo story". He still check up on her. He is NOT over her. He might WANT to be over her, but he is worried she might fi... (read in full...)

Is his ego bruised? How do I make him feel better?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles ,i have been dating a wonderful man for 18months and everything seems to be going well .but he recently lost his job and although i have offered to support us until he finds a new job ,he seems to have become distant and ...

A.   23 April 2014: You can't. Let him figure this out on his own, but do not take crap over it. Do you two live together?... (read in full...)

Suspect she's cheating but she just gets mad if I ask. Is it time to bail?

Q.   I have been married for almost 25 years. I can't honestly say I ever really loved my wife, i believe at the time I married her, being young, it was more for financial security than anything. In the early years things were okay, we had 2 sons, had ...

A.   23 April 2014: Do you NEED proff to leave her? It sounds like NEITHER of you want to be in this marriage AT all. You don't love her and she doesn't love you. Why spend the rest of your life like this? She doesn't want counseling because she finds it eas... (read in full...)

Should I be worried that my friend dates underage girls?

Q.   Hi. I am a 31 year old male. I have a friend who is 23 who dates a lot of underage girls who are maybe 16-17 years old. In fact, it has become a running joke in our circle of friends that his girlfriends are teenagers. However, in the time I have k...

A.   23 April 2014: The voice of reason tells me... to advice the OP's friend about the legality of his choices, because in the US being with a 16-17 year old (as a 23 year old) can ruin a guys life. Being labelled as a sexual offender in the US is pretty much a k... (read in full...)

Are women too independent for men these days or have they been so mucked around by men that they have lost interest?

Q.   I was in a relationship for 20 years, it ended nearly 2 years ago. It seems woman these days are less wanting of a man in there lives, is this right or are my values a little dated. I like to spend time together watching movies and going out to all...

A.   23 April 2014: I think a LOT of women (and men too for that matter) have decided that finding a NEW partner is too much hassle. Dealing with ALL the baggage of a new partner in the 35+ age group is a LOT (plus they most likely have a bit of baggage themselves) - ... (read in full...)

Should I be worried that my friend dates underage girls?

Q.   Hi. I am a 31 year old male. I have a friend who is 23 who dates a lot of underage girls who are maybe 16-17 years old. In fact, it has become a running joke in our circle of friends that his girlfriends are teenagers. However, in the time I have k...

A.   23 April 2014: Should you worry? In a way I would. If he DOES at some point sleep with an underage girl then he can get in all kind of legal trouble that WILL follow him throughout the rest of his life. Being labelled a sex offender (no matter if the girl was... (read in full...)

I found out my married lover is not planning on getting divorced after all! Who should I confront, him or his wife?

Q.   I fell for my coworker who told me that his wife had left him, only to find out from another colleague that they are actually planning buying a new house together! I feel so stupid and sick to the stomach, but I can't bring myself to say anything...

A.   23 April 2014: I'd just stop seeing him. ASAP. Should you confront the wife? Why? What has SHE done to you? Should you confront him? Well you can. I don't really see what you will get out of it other then more lies. LEARN from this. NEVER get involved... (read in full...)

Arguments with brother in law

Q.   Hi Just after some suggestions/advice regarding my brother in law. I have planned to go on holiday next April with a friend (which is now booked and confirmed). My sister is having a baby in August and plans to have a Christening next April, ...

A.   23 April 2014: I think, if your sister and BIL wants to Christening their child while you are on holiday that that is ON them and their choice. They can't always plan events around you. If your SISTER, however, WANTS you there for the Christening, wel... (read in full...)

Should I get rid of this guy because he seems to be hiding something? I'd love to hear your interpretations of his text messages

Q.   I have had the most awful experiences with online dating, and am really skeptical about every man I meet now. I'm not sure if I'm looking for red flags because I'm so afraid of not spotting them. I've been on three dates with this 29-year-old...

A.   23 April 2014: I am with Cindy. He wants to come over for two reasons: 1. sex 2. that way YOU don't know where he lives, but he knows where you live. Thin walls in a basement apartment? Is he sharing the basement? Could be the basement apartment was th... (read in full...)

Met a girl I like but am a virgin and want to tell her but don't want to seem pathetic or clueless.

Q.   For various reasons (a mix of bad luck, bad timing and my own commitment issues) I've never have had a girlfriend. Sure I've been on dates but it's never gone anywhere because either I'm not interested or I struggle to pursue something I am ...

A.   22 April 2014: You make it sound like being a virgin is equal to having a disability, it's not. ALL it means is that you have had NO personal experience with sex. EVERYONE has been there. EVERYONE. My first suggestion is that you make sure you have condoms ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him I'm seeing someone else?

Q.   Hi all, I work in a restaurant, and have good relationships with two of the kitchen members... One of them I have feelings for, (guy A) have never felt so strongly about anyone, he's truly the wittiest, kindest guy I've ever met... He's give...

A.   22 April 2014:  If the texting has never crossed the line into "intimacy" or deeply personal subject then maybe he is just a tad flirty? I mean is that his personality or do you THINK he thinks he has a shot with you as in dating? If it's the latter... The... (read in full...)

I'm a shy, quiet person and wonder what volunteer or other opportunities I should explore?

Q.   I am on Jobseeker's Allowance, which are benefits that we have here in the UK. I get these benefits from the jobcentre. I have been told my advisor at the jobcentre that I have to do some voluntary work soon. She said that I can choose where to ...

A.   22 April 2014: I would try the shop with your friend first. Get your "feet wet" so to speak. See how it goes. Who knows you might discover that you LOVE being around people. Once you feel comfortable with that job, then why not try something new?... (read in full...)

My cheating ex husband is moving on and I am stuck in poverty with the kids!

Q.   Hi there guys, i really need help. I filed separation from my ex on account of cheating and abusive behaviour about 18 months ago. 2 children remain with me. When they went for a visit to their dad I have come to understand that he's sharing the ...

A.   22 April 2014: Is your ex husband allowed to date? Sure. You are too. Do I find it a bad idea for him to introduce a new woman to the kids without you having met her first? Actually, I do. But not everyone can handle meeting the new gf/bf. Is it bad for the kids... (read in full...)

Living with sister is hurting our relationship! Please advise!

Q.   How can I talk to my sister? My sister and I are more than 10 years apart in age. She's in her 40's and I'm close to my 30's. Both of us are single and never been married. We've been roommates for years, and it's only since this past year t...

A.   22 April 2014: Give her 3 months notice & find a small place you can afford on your own. I think living together was a GOOD idea for the two of you when you both NEEDED a room-mate, but you two also need to have your own lives. It kind of sounds like she ... (read in full...)

My wife's turning into a slob

Q.   Hi, My wife's tidying habits leave a lot to be desired. We've been married 10 yrs and previously I let it go to young kids and caring for her mum. But now her mum is no longer here and the kids are at school full time. Examples are finishing a ...

A.   22 April 2014: You do need to talk WITH her, not TO her, about this. My guess is it's a combination of depression and grief. I don't know many people (men OR women ) who find cleaning fulfilling. It's one of those things though, that JUST have to get done... (read in full...)

A few guys on dating site have been insulting to me.

Q.   I am currently on a dating site and I have talked to some of the guys on there and they are very nice and respectful. I like the compliments I get on my looks they tell me I am beautiful. I try to be honest about what I am looking for and they ...

A.   22 April 2014: HATE is a pretty strong emotion. These guys aren't WORTHY of that. They are both pieces of scum. You did GOOD in reporting them. And your reply on how dogs are beautiful was perfect. And I feel sorry for any lady these guys takes interest in becau... (read in full...)

I've been seeing him for 2 weeks, what are his intentions?

Q.   I've been seeing a guy for only 2 weeks and I'm unsure as to what his intentions are. Basically ever since the very 1st day he has bee super into me, always texting, always ringing, multiple times a day, and always 1st thing in the morning and last ...

A.   22 April 2014: For a two week relationship I think you two are moving WAY to fast (at least for my taste), but if it works for you then it's all good. I would slow down just a little bit and GET to know him, not just have a relationship around sex/food, if you ... (read in full...)

Is what I'm doing such a bad thing?

Q.   I am in a long term relationship but I still speak to an ex without my partners knowledge. Is this really that wrong? I know having my cake and eating it will probably spring to mind but it's really not like that. My boyfriend is a great guy an...

A.   22 April 2014: I think you already know the answer. This isn't about friendship. Because if it was that simple you would have told your BF after the first call, you CHOSE not to. It's your dirty little secret that can blow up your current relationship. Yo... (read in full...)

Would it bother you to learn that your bf/gf had smoked weed in the past?

Q.   Hi Everyone! Quick question here: When I was dating my ex-bf I told him that I had smoked weed with some friends a few times before we started dating (I was 21 at the time and had smoked a total of 7 times in my life) and he FREAKED out, and sa...

A.   22 April 2014: I wouldn't be upset. I would however not date a casual pot smoker either. I saw what it did to my brother many years ago. It started out quite casual. But if I was dating someone who had tried it a few times? Not a big deal for me. For other... (read in full...)

I think he is cheating and that makes me not want to see him!

Q.   Hi. I need some honest opinions on this. My boyfriend and I are now in a long distant relationship due to work. Normally we would see each other every other weekend but it so happened that we haven't seen each other for almost two weeks this time. ...

A.   21 April 2014: I have to agree with Tisha - the amount of sperm (and constancy) is NOT an indication of being unfaithful. Could be.. he has been wanking (masturbating) a LOT more because you two haven't been together in 2 weeks. Hiding his phone CAN be a little... (read in full...)

I'm not sure we can get over these differences!

Q.   I've always dated guys my age or slightly older however I've been seeing this guy (for 7 months) who is 4 years younger than me. I'm 27, he's 23. We get on really well but he does a few things which I'm not sure about. For example we went ...

A.   21 April 2014: He sounds 15 not 23. I'm sorry he is still maturing. I would considering ending it because he will NOT be the guy you want him to be, he isn't ready to grow up. Now the lemon part at the restaurant, I don't see it as offensive, but there is a t... (read in full...)

His brother died recently but hes angry at me all of a sudden

Q.   Hi guys and gals! Hopefully theres someone out there who can help give me an insight into a problem I have. I started dating a guy about 2 months ago and it started off brilliantly. He initiated contact with me and we communicated for a few days, ...

A.   21 April 2014: I would end it. He needs time to grieve, but he is resisting it and when he feels low he takes it out on you. IF you stay, my guess is, it will escalate. Let him know why you are ending it. And stop making excuses for him. Him being upset, mis... (read in full...)

I messed up big time!

Q.   ok i need advice. My ex bf passed away this year. our relationship was not healthy he was violent and i was co-dependant. I attended his funeral and have visited his family just to see how they are etc. I still have feelings for my ex ther...

A.   21 April 2014: Go pick up the bag and leave, it's pretty simple. Now if the brother wants to talk about the kiss, make it clear to him that it was a mistake and leave it at that. Stop beating yourself up over this.... (read in full...)

On and off for a few years, will it ever get serious?

Q.   I have been on and off with this guy for a few years now. He's a great guy, he obviously has commitment issues. Do you guys ever hear or see an on and off relationship become solid? Or am I seriously wasting my time? Maybe it's the naïve girl in me ...

A.   21 April 2014: If it's been off and on for a few YEARS, why the need to change? My guess is he is quite content with this arrangement. Or you are the security blanket for him and he is yours. You two keep breaking up and getting back together. Why ? Why the ... (read in full...)

He wont ever let me have an opinion.

Q.   I love my boyfriend to death he means every thing to me. Today we got in to a hugh argument. It was over some thing so small. I gave my opinion and he got so mad said I was stupid and called me other names so I stood up and told him i was done and I ...

A.   21 April 2014: Hitting is not OK. Doesn't matter if it is the guy hitting the girl, or the other way around, HITTING is NOT OK, nor does it resolve ANYTHING. You already broke up. And now you are considering counseling? I think YOU DO need some counseli... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is a selfish bitch but I love her.

Q.   my gf is a selfish bitch but I still really love her. Ive argued with her a few times over whatwe have said to each other and lately she saidsomething to me and I always have to put up with it but as soon as I say the same thing backshe hates me...

A.   21 April 2014: You two should break up, and NOT date til you know how to treat a partner. Calling her a bitch is as bad as HER calling you names. She causes you stress. You two fight. Just get it over with.... (read in full...)

I asked him to delete his ex's number ...

Q.   I am seeing a guy for two months and i found out that he texted his ex last week saying how much he misses her and how she would feel if he got a new girlfriend. Ex said it'll be weird but nothing I cant get over and I'll be happy for you. He ...

A.   21 April 2014: Everyone else said what I was going to say as well. HE isn't over her. DEMANDING he deletes her number is not going to make the relationship work. You have ONLY been together for 2 months and he is already reaching out to the ex. Do you really t... (read in full...)

Fake friend puts on an act in front of people and puts me down!

Q.   I have a friend who I've known for ten years (we're both 25). We both have long term partners and so don't see each other much with work commitments etc... However, when we do get together, (our partners get along well), whether it be out for a ...

A.   21 April 2014: I'd say time to make new friends, this one IS NOT being a good friend. She is trying to GET attention by putting you down. It's like she is trying to point out YOUR "faults" (not that they ARE faults, mind you she is just being a cow) to make ... (read in full...)

Break up because I sent him to work?

Q.   Met this guy six months ago. Before that he was working but resigned from his job due to a disagreement with his boss. Six months later and he is still unemployed. Talking all this crap on marriage and having kids which i see it as a sacrifice. I ...

A.   21 April 2014: I agree that you can not make him see YOUR way any more then YOU can see HIS way. You are NOT a good match so ending it now, is the RIGHT thing for both of you. And what kind of crap is... All he wanted was your humility? Seriously? Becau... (read in full...)

I'm confused by this guy - what's going on here?!

Q.   Hi all, I'm a bit confused about a guy I've been seeing. I met him on a night out and we started seeing each other in January. After realising we were rather different people with very different priorities in life (and after doing a couple o...

A.   20 April 2014: Yea, he wants a no strings FWB kind of thing. Because it leaves him free to do whatever HE wants. Sorry. ... (read in full...)

Break up because I sent him to work?

Q.   Met this guy six months ago. Before that he was working but resigned from his job due to a disagreement with his boss. Six months later and he is still unemployed. Talking all this crap on marriage and having kids which i see it as a sacrifice. I ...

A.   20 April 2014: Mail him his movies and be done 100% with him. Wanting a guy who wants to contribute is NOT bad. Beggars can't be choosy. If he can GET a job (even if it's NOT that job he REALLY wants) then he should TAKE it. HE can then STILL apply for jobs he ... (read in full...)

Quarter life crisis? Cold feet? What do I do?

Q.   Where to begin? Maybe it's a quarter life crisis or maybe it's just cold feet? BUT I am having a hard one with something. I've been engaged to my lovely fiancé for a year now and this second year is supposed to be the year we start planning our ...

A.   20 April 2014: I have never heard of "Quarter life crisis" it sounds like you are grasping for straws here. If you DO NOT love him as HE loves you, the RIGHT thing is to break it off. He might be devastated, but he WILL get over it. The longer you wait ... (read in full...)

I only reconnected with my ex so we could be friends, but I think he wants more

Q.   A bit of an odd question. I reached out to an ex of mine because enough time had passed where we didn't speak and I thought of just asking to remain friends. We dated for only 4 months, nothing too serious. The awkward part is that he seems to...

A.   20 April 2014: Why even bring him back into your life? He wasn't a good BF, I doubt he can be a good friend. OF COURSE he thinks you two had mind-blowing sex - because he THINKS he was a GREAT lover.The reason he keeps bringing up sex is because he THINK... (read in full...)

Why are my periods coming later now that I'm sexually active?

Q.   Why is it that my period is always late now that I've become sexually active? It was always so regular before and now I'm up to a week late. I took a pregnancy test and I'm not pregnant. So what could it be? ...

A.   20 April 2014: Are you not on birth control? Or at least considering it? It would MAYBE make your worries less. Worrying CAN make it late. Hence why BC is a good idea. And if I were you I would go get a GYN check up. It's always a good thing and a GYN could ... (read in full...)

Genuinely interested or wasting my time? What does it take for a guy to approach a gal, where he is genuinely interested?

Q.   I've been single for nearly 5 years and am ready for a committed relationship. I feel that I have been single this long due to choice but know that I know I am ready I beginning to think I am doing something wrong. I have this tendency to crush over ...

A.   19 April 2014: Flirting doesn't always = interest in a relationship. For some flirting is JUST part of their personality. I think it's actually pretty common that some people assume if a person (specially women) flirts she isn't really interested she is just pla... (read in full...)

My new friend has confessed she's in love with me, and I wonder why my ex was so enraged by our friendship! Help?

Q.   I'm in a very weird situation. I broke up with my ex boyfriend last August due to the fact that I was moving away, we ended on extremely good terms and the only reason we broke up was so the distance wouldn't ruin what we had and we could get back...

A.   18 April 2014: My guess is HE knew SHE was/is into girls and he thought YOU knew it too - which means he COULD be ASSUMING you ended your relationship with him, so you could date girls too. But it is HARD to say exactly WHY he got so mad at you. Maybe he felt ... (read in full...)

Husband says he feels like a prostitute because I want him to have sex with me? What can I do?

Q.   My husband does not have a sex drive anymore. We are both young in our mid-twenties. We have been together for nearly 10 years. Our sex life has been at times amazing and at times sparse. I always seem to want it more than him. In the past he has u...

A.   18 April 2014: Low T-level is not something you can self diagnose. And vitamins can't fix low T either. He would NEED actual TESTOSTERONE therapy (either patch, cream or injections) to fix it. My guess is he never REALLY had a high sex drive, and now that you... (read in full...)

Should I ask her about her sexual past?

Q.   I have been dating a new girl for about 6 months now. Recently we were at the grocery store together when we passed a bottle of chocolate syrup. My girlfriend laughed and said: "I haven't had that stuff since I licked it off some guy's d*ck." M...

A.   18 April 2014: It was a crude thing to say. My guess is she did it to shock you into paying attention. Maybe it was a hint of what she wouldn't mind doing to you/ for you. But I would suggest you ask her and talk to her. Before you do though, ARE you ... (read in full...)

No longer engaged because of his habit of staring at other women. I don't know what to do!

Q.   I've been seeing a guy for 2 years. We generally get on well and plan to live together soon, we got engaged recently - that's on hold now... and I'm really not sure about it all because of one massive aspect of his behaviour. He has had this sta...

A.   18 April 2014: I'm an with Uncle Wise. 2 years of this crap and you don't say THIS isn't OK til he asks you to marry him? No, it's not normal. It's down right gross. Noticing a pretty or handsome person is normal, your guys reactions is NOT. He is ... (read in full...)

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