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*oneypie agony aunt

*oneypie

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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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My boyfriend forget my birthday and I'm ok with it but what should I do for his birthday?

Q.   So, my boyfriend(23) forgot my birthday. I(20) forgave him because we had only been going out for a couple of months and I know he's terrible with dates. I'm not the kind of girl who believes in soul mates and gets all hung up on one guy. I'm ...

A.   1 August 2015: Since your relationship is fairly new I get that you can be totally OK with him forgetting. Just don't let it become a habit. You know his hobbies, favorite sports, comic characters or whatever he likes (outside of you, friend and family) - then f... (read in full...)

One drunken kiss--do I tell my fiance?

Q.   Hi everyone. Please give me some advice guys on this dilemma I face, I cant talk to anyone in real life about this, so you guys are my only hope. So my fiance and I are together six years, engaged four. We got engaged very young, and we were dealing ...

A.   1 August 2015: It was a year ago. There is no point in bringing this up. You won't feel better, HE won't feel better. You know what you did was wrong and you nipped it in the bud and went home. Being drunk is never a good excuse and I like the fact that yo... (read in full...)

Am I over-reacting? BF is inconsiderate and doesn't act loving and invents new "rules" for me.

Q.   My boyfriend and I of 2 years fight. A lot. He is petty and always inventing new "rules" or things that upset him. Months ago , he told me he didn't like it when I added random men to FB, esp after a night out without him. I tried to be sensitiv...

A.   1 August 2015: I have only one question? WHY are you with this guy? He is passive-aggressive, manipulative, stupid (yes for driving under the influence is STUPID), most likely unfaithful, acting like a immature brat, looking for other women... the lis... (read in full...)

Do I consider his efforts to reconnect? My ex has been pestering me for a second chance

Q.   Me and my ex were together for a year, but putting it realistically as a "long distance relationship" it was about 6 months. It started off amazing, but then of course that phase faded, and as each month went by i was seeing more of his real sel...

A.   1 August 2015: Nope, don't do it. IF you have dreams of moving to London, KEEP your eyes out for jobs there however long that takes. Don't do it because HE now decides;" OH I want my EX to come down and hang out. See she has no job and will be dependent on me, s... (read in full...)

We were taking it slow and then there was a complete 180, what do I do now?

Q.   About 2 years ago a friend of mine showed me the instagram of a friend. She commented on a picture of us together and inquired who I was. I could tell from her pictures that she was gorgeous and outgoing. Real life of the party type of girl. Well...

A.   1 August 2015: She likes to play games. THAT is what I think. With your update (where you had expressed you wanted more and she claimed the same) that is really all I can guess about it. She has noticed you no longer dote on her and pay attention to her... (read in full...)

He said he wants to get over me and deleted me on fb

Q.   Help all, I was dating with this guy for 3 months and we were on and off. We were friends on fb. Evert single time I went out, I poster my pictures and he liked it and texted me how was my dinner date or Etc... He was trying to learn i guess if...

A.   31 July 2015: Block him is your best bet - forget about trying to figure out what he is thinking or why he is doing this, just remove him. ... (read in full...)

How do I regain my dignity back after lashing out at my cheating ex and friend?

Q.   Hi, I was on before about finding out about my ex and my friend having an affair. For months I acted normal and said nothing as I had no real proof - just a gut feeling. I was going to just cut them out of my life and move on - until I discover...

A.   31 July 2015: By accepting that YOU are not perfect either? What they did was despicable and low - but revenge? it's usually born out of pettiness and anger. The saying Revenge is best served cold... I think it means that you WAIT to cool off, to detach y... (read in full...)

Can a man live without sex in a marriage?

Q.   Can a married man in his mid 40's stay happily married if his wife doesn't want sex anymore? And I'm talking years now? Can a man live without sex in a marriage? ...

A.   31 July 2015: I think there is a big difference from a sex-less marriage to a marriage without intimacy. Sex-less can be working fine for a couple in their 40+ and long as there still is intimacy, hugs, kisses and "other things" both parties enjoy. My husband ... (read in full...)

I felt my friend was mocking me because I have no preferences in men?

Q.   Hey Dear Cupid readers So today I went to visit a friend who I haven't seen for about a while. I told her that when I was out last Saturday just gone, that I'd kissed someone when I was out. She laughed and said that doesn't surprise her - i...

A.   31 July 2015: I think your friend simply doesn't understand you or your way of thinking and either THAT is what she was mocking or she was teasing you, because she hasn't seen you date in a long while. Why not ask her directly what she meant? It is SO much eas... (read in full...)

He said he wants to get over me and deleted me on fb

Q.   Help all, I was dating with this guy for 3 months and we were on and off. We were friends on fb. Evert single time I went out, I poster my pictures and he liked it and texted me how was my dinner date or Etc... He was trying to learn i guess if...

A.   31 July 2015: What should you do? Forget about him, block and delete him from phone and FB. It was a 3 months ON/OFF "thing". That is not even a relationship. Let him go. Find someone who wants to BE with you, not just comment on your FB pictures and tex... (read in full...)

I don't like the way he treated me. Does he not have a conscious? Or did he just never care? Or is he trying to get over me?

Q.   1997- 1998: Was in David's school. He was my school mate. Wasn’t really his friend but just a classmate. Sept 2014: Started working at a local Retail store Pharmacy. Saw David there. We chatted and exchanged numbers but he was getting over a break ...

A.   31 July 2015: I don' t think his feelings ran that deeply, but you were decent company and willing to sleep with him? I mean offering up to rent a hotel room? That is someone looking for sex, but they don't want to bring them home... If you find yourself... (read in full...)

Is this man using me as a back up or did he actually like me?

Q.   Should I give this guy another chance? I recently met a guy on match, he is 11 yrs older than myself and is early 50s. We met at least on 5 occasions. The last time I stayed over at his place, we got a little intimate but we never went all the way...

A.   31 July 2015: I agree with Tisha, but I will say he DOES like to have "back-ups" and I think he wouldn't mind USING you as one. So I would (if it was me) drop this one and block him, he is wasting your time if you are actually on the dating site to MEET som... (read in full...)

Should I be concerned that my Bf is asking for ''space'' when it's all been going so well?

Q.   My question: Should I be concerned about my boyfriend asking for space when everything has been going so well? Also, did I respond in a good way when he asked for space? Background information: I have been in a LDR for a few months with a ma...

A.   30 July 2015: Again, I agree with SVC. I think you two WERE moving to fast (considering this is a LDR and a new one to boot) so I can see why he decided that he needed to stop and think BEFORE you two got more serious (as in either of you moving etc). ... (read in full...)

How do I get over him cheating? And to add to my woes he got into a better university than me.

Q.   So its been 6 months since my ex cheated on me at a party and I found out by looking at his phone he didnt regret when I said I wanted to talk about it he left and I never saw him other than at school. I went to the same school he did because ...

A.   30 July 2015: It's never fun being cheated on, it's a huge slap in the face. Specially if they don't have no remorse or regret. HOWEVER, that is ALL in them. It's a reflection of THEIR person, not yours. So he got into a better school, so what? That doesn't ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend knows our relationship is one sided but does nothing to change it. Should I end things?

Q.   Okay so this is a short question. I do everything for my girlfriend. I cook for her, drive her, buy her things, etc and I feel she does little in return. On a few occasions she has even said I know I do nothing to contribute, does that bother you? I ...

A.   30 July 2015: I agree with SVC. Don't SHRUG things off that you ACTUALLY are unhappy about. Specially if they are things that CAN change. SAY what you mean, and mean what you say. Such a common advice today! But it's also so simple. You CAN yes, yes I do... (read in full...)

We were taking it slow and then there was a complete 180, what do I do now?

Q.   About 2 years ago a friend of mine showed me the instagram of a friend. She commented on a picture of us together and inquired who I was. I could tell from her pictures that she was gorgeous and outgoing. Real life of the party type of girl. Well...

A.   30 July 2015: I agree with Cindy. You liked her more than she liked you. YOU saw yourself WITH her before you even knew her. And I think, you presumed that if you hung around enough she would fall for you. SHE told you from the start, I AM NOT looking for ... (read in full...)

I felt I had no other option than to do what I did. But will he suss out that I sent it?

Q.   What do you guys think about sending fake messages under a pseudonym? I know you are going to think this trivial and trouble making - but I just need your answers:- I needed to get a message to this bloke on Facebook - he had blocked me (all beca...

A.   30 July 2015: My guess? He will suss it out eventually and THEN crap will hit YOUR fan. I get that you don't want to get accused of saying stuff about this guy, BUT it's NOT your job to tell him who said what about him. It only makes you look... kookier. Take ... (read in full...)

Frenemies or am I too sensitive?

Q.   I hope all are enjoying summer and thank all who respond to my question. So some background.A couple of weeks ago I brought two friends and a woman I met recently to a girls night out.It was a good time and we decided to meet again last week....

A.   30 July 2015: I think when it comes down to friends and feelings, it's MUCH better to talk it out, EVEN if you want to drop them after. I think venting can be very helpful. As in telling the lady who talked smack about your job/students that you actually... (read in full...)

I can be argumentative when provoked, but I know that I'm not a cruel person that deserves to be bullied. Am I being too sensitive about this?

Q.   I have a group of friends who I consider myself very close to, which consists of 2 boys, 2 girls (including me). Both boys are culprits of teasing, but one especially, let's call him Jason, tends to go way overboard. Every time I say something, it's ...

A.   30 July 2015: What would I do? STOP getting into it with him. If he tries to start stuff, look at him with a raised eyebrow ( the look of ARE you serious?) or just shrug. I think he either A. likes the verbal "battles" with you, but he HATES losing... OR B. se... (read in full...)

Failed past relation. Then online friend. How can I regain my health and get over my ex?

Q.   i'm 23 years old female, felt in love for 4 years with a cheating guy. many cupids here helped into knowing that i was in a kind of abusive relationship, and it took me a lot of courage to actually let go of my boyfriend. i had a male friend who ...

A.   30 July 2015: First off... CHANGE your Facebook password, you ex have NO business snooping into your private life. OR DELETE your current FB and make a new FB page. Give yourself time to grieve, you DID lose a family in a sort, I'm sure they were the best pa... (read in full...)

How do I cope with all this pain? I don't know how to cope with this betrayal

Q.   I have just found out my ex boyfriend has had an affair with my female friend. For months I suspected something was going on, and so me and my boyfriend split because of my lack of trust. My friend however, always denied it until recently -...

A.   30 July 2015: You know what? I don't blame you. Telling her HOW betrayed you feel and how LOW of a friend she is, MIGHT be good for her to hear (she won't like it, but... when she stabs someone in the back, I think a hew "home grown truths" is what she ... (read in full...)

What's an assertive, direct, funny response to their hot and cold dating behaviour?

Q.   A recurring situation is I'll go on a date with anothe gay guy. thing seem to go well. They'll send me a thankyou message after, and continue small talk here and there. I'm pretty direct and will try to lock off a second date, thats when they st...

A.   29 July 2015: Why wonder "cooking up" funny responses to a bunch of time-wasters? Block them and move on. They might find you attractive, but if they are SO vague about a second date, they are JUST not that into you. So WHY keep wasting your time of guys lik... (read in full...)

We've been together 6 years and still his ex keeps contacting him. How can this woman be discouraged?

Q.   Dear cupid me and my boyfriend have been together for 6 years and his ex girlfriend won't leave him alone. She keeps pushing him about wanting to know if he is still in love with her. What can we do about her ...

A.   29 July 2015: "WE" can't do anything. YOU can't do anything about it either, except tell him to DEAL with it once and for all. If they do not have kids together, HE can block her number and cut the contact 100%. If they DO have kids together HE needs t... (read in full...)

Why should I date someone who'll still be in prison until 2016?

Q.   Hi all. I've been single for the past 2 years because i have lost my boyfriend from suicide. Currently i'm studying on a distance learning program. As we mostly discuss our studies online and leaving our contact details for study group. So there w...

A.   29 July 2015: Before you get yourself any more emotionally attached or involved- why not ASK him what he is in for. OR if you can check him out online ( I know in the US you can do a background check for $10 and I have to say it would be worth it). I think it... (read in full...)

Will I just have to accept that oral sex is something my Bf will never do?

Q.   So I've been dating my boyfriend for about a year now and soon after we became sexually active I hinted that I would want him to give me oral sex. He said he'd think about it being that he had never done that. Time passed and nothing, I've br...

A.   29 July 2015: I'd just ask him bluntly if it's something he doesn't WANT to do or doesn't KNOW how to do. And go by that. If he doesn't WANT to, that is fair enough. If he doesn't know how.. well, isn't it time to learn? The whole *I can't wrap my head ar... (read in full...)

What choices are there for me to consider? I don't want my son subjected to all this tension any more.

Q.   So I am in a situation where my one and a half year old son, fiancee, and myself are living together with her mom and dad's house so we can save money. Of course it has turned into a complete disaster. My fiancee and I now argue over things like...

A.   29 July 2015: I forgot to add that your son is probably picking up on your stress (and there stress of the whole adult household) so maybe... next time he is doing something you don't want him to do, TRY a different approach? Like get up, get down to his level or ... (read in full...)

What can I do? First he refused me. Then I caught my husband watching porn and masturbating in the middle of the night!!

Q.   Please help me!!! I caught my husband watching porn and masturbating in the middle of the night!! Early that night I wanted to have sex with my husband. I kissed and touched him, but he was too busy playing with his phone and completely ignored ...

A.   29 July 2015: My guess is that this is a twofold problem. 1. YOU need to VERBALLY tell him, PUT the phone down and interact with me (whether it's sex, activities or talking). (yes it would be GREAT if he would do it on his own accord, but apparently that was... (read in full...)

What choices are there for me to consider? I don't want my son subjected to all this tension any more.

Q.   So I am in a situation where my one and a half year old son, fiancee, and myself are living together with her mom and dad's house so we can save money. Of course it has turned into a complete disaster. My fiancee and I now argue over things like...

A.   29 July 2015: Yeah living with your in-laws is NOT going to work. It puts way to much stress on your fiance, you and your son (and the in-laws) so... YOUR priority is to find a place you can afford and get your son out of there asap. If your fiance follows.. ... (read in full...)

How do I cope with all this pain? I don't know how to cope with this betrayal

Q.   I have just found out my ex boyfriend has had an affair with my female friend. For months I suspected something was going on, and so me and my boyfriend split because of my lack of trust. My friend however, always denied it until recently -...

A.   29 July 2015: I'm sorry, that really IS the worst kind of betrayal. And I get the whole I should be the one to unfriend her, but.. here is the thing.. it's NOT about whom unfriend whom first. It's about how you live your life. You didn't REALLY lose a friend, you ... (read in full...)

I really dislike my rude in-laws

Q.   Dear cupid, This is more family relationship advice needed. Basically, I am really struggling to get along with my in-laws. Every single one of them are just horrible people. My husbands mother is not involved because she abandoned him when h...

A.   29 July 2015: I agree wholeheartedly with WiseOwlE. REGARD them as "strangers" you JUST have to be around occasionally. Which means, if you need help - don't ask them, ask someone who WANTS to help. If they start crap over pictures on FB - IGNORE it. You m... (read in full...)

A request to watch over someone has turned into a big family feud!

Q.   Okay so this is twisted and I'm stressing over it a lot. There's this guy who happens to be my aunt's husband's nephew. I met him a few months back and liked him. I hit him up and we started talking, but then I got caught and my mom and aunt were ...

A.   28 July 2015: Well, what do you do? 1. LISTEN to your family if they tell you to stay away from someone, there might actually BE a good reason. My guess is they KNOW this guy is somewhat of a drama llama. 2. OWN what you said. If you talk about family in ... (read in full...)

We've been dating a month. Am I setting myself up by thinking he's special?

Q.   Five years ago I made a list of qualities I wanted in a man. To my surprise, he actually existed-right down to the blue-green eyes and hometown. This freaked me out a bit but hey, coincidences happen right? Anyway, I enjoy him a lot. We've been ...

A.   28 July 2015: HE IS someone special, but whether he is "The One" from your list or not, is impossible to say. I would just continue to go slow, if he is a keeper he will be fine with a slow pace. I'd also suggest you leave lists for going grocery shopping... (read in full...)

Should I be cautious? I am not sure about his Tinder past

Q.   I have been chatting to a guy online and we seem quite similar in our outlook. He said he had a longterm relationship and then went on the dating app tinder and slept with 5-6 women as only wanted something casual but realised he wanted more. ...

A.   28 July 2015: You know anon male, I would give the same advice to a male asking about a female who had gone from a long term relationship into a series of casual flings. However it IS more socially acceptable for a male to be "promiscuous" than for a woman.. ... (read in full...)

Is there such a thing as commitment phobia?

Q.   Hi, I'm just out of a 4 years relationship that really broke my heart. My boyfriend left me saying he was mixed up, and needed to do soul searching. It has been a week since we are separated and with no contact. I am just beginning ...

A.   28 July 2015: I don't know about closure, but I think he REALLY likes the idea of a mate/partner and relationship BUT he really wants to be able to do as he pleases as well. I don't think it's "just" about commitment phobia, more of a constantly seeking ... (read in full...)

How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?

Q.   How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...

A.   28 July 2015: What can you do? Not much, honestly. It's like the whole you can drag a horse to water but you can't make it drink (unless it's thirsty). He isn't "thirsty" about sharing the details with you. If it's something from his past (before he knew ... (read in full...)

Am I letting him down when I'm unwilling to have virtual sex with my LDR boyfriend?

Q.   My LDR boyfriend often wants virtual sex where we are on Webcam. Thing is, he doesn't do the sweet talk or sexy talk.. he just wants to see and then he masturbates and is finished within 2 minutes... while I have yet to feel anything. This is w...

A.   28 July 2015: You are not letting him down at all. If it doesn't WORK for you, it doesn't work. Have you expressed how UNSATISFYING it is for you? How you feel like a piece of MEAT there for HIS pleasure only? You are like his "free porn". I wouldn't find tha... (read in full...)

Should I be cautious? I am not sure about his Tinder past

Q.   I have been chatting to a guy online and we seem quite similar in our outlook. He said he had a longterm relationship and then went on the dating app tinder and slept with 5-6 women as only wanted something casual but realised he wanted more. ...

A.   28 July 2015: Sleeping with 5-6 women casually made him realize that he wanted a serious relationship.. *cough* I call BS. I could see if it had been 1 or even 2 casual flings that made him realize that casual wasn't what he wanted. But 5-6? Yeah, not buying i... (read in full...)

How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?

Q.   How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...

A.   28 July 2015: That is backwards, it sounds more like a guy wanting more time to come up with a GREAT excuse rather than tell you the truth. (to be honest). Since the bee is out of the beehive - I'd just ask him to explain what's up - no need for the sister t... (read in full...)

Three years together and my Gf has asked me to pay ($5000) towards a medical procedure she wants. What would you do if in my situation?

Q.   I'm in a serious relationship with my girlfriend for the past 3 years. She's always been independent and has never asked me for anything. For the past couple of months however she has been thinking of getting a surgery that insurance won't help wit...

A.   27 July 2015: That would depend entirely of what she "needs" done, but ... for the most part I'd say no. If you can't AFFORD to "just" give her $5,000 - then I think saying no, I can't afford it would be OK. I honestly think she should ask her parents BEFORE y... (read in full...)

How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?

Q.   How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...

A.   27 July 2015: You asked the blanket question because you didn't want him to KNOW that you snooped. Because ASKING a "blanket question" shows trust issues or you wouldn't have asked. And your husband isn't dumb. He knows something is up. SO whether he WANTS... (read in full...)

How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong?

Q.   How come men get away with playing reverse psychology with women when they are dead wrong? I snooped and found something that i really wanted answers to. If its true i will have trust issues with my husband. Well, i tried to control myself but he s...

A.   27 July 2015: By asking him if he was hiding anything you gave him a blanket accusation (basically you told him, I think you are doing something you shouldn't be doing, but I won't say what I'm accusing you off, I'm JUST accusing you). IF you snooped and foun... (read in full...)

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