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*oneypie agony aunt

*oneypie

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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Ladies, your possible reaction if you surmised, during sex, that a guy was a virgin then would you stop having sex or what?

Q.   Hi Cupid, I wanna paint a pictute here for woman and hear what they think. Pleeeeeeeease be brutally honest, no euphemism. If you (a woman) were in your twenties and liked some guy, just like, not a romeo and juliette love story, you've know...

A.   28 March 2015: Are we talking SEX on a ONS or with a GF? I have to agree with A female reader, anonymous I DO think it's something that SHOULD somehow come up BEFORE sex. It might BE A BIG DEAL for you, but it might not be for the woman. And she will have... (read in full...)

His status is set as "single," how would you handle that?

Q.   Hey guys. Please help me. If you had been in an exclusive relationship with someone for almost seven months when you found their OKCupid profile was still active (last logged in yesterday afternoon) with its status set to single, how would you ...

A.   28 March 2015: I would talk to him and ask if he RATHER be single, because having an ACTIVE dating profile stating he is single, means (to me at least) that he IS STILL looking for someone. THAT you are NOT it for him. 7 months is DEFINITELY long enough to decid... (read in full...)

He's trying to get over his gambling problem. Would this be why he is seeming to be so stressed all the time?

Q.   So I've currently been with my husband for 4 years (married Just over a year) and it seems we've hit a patch in our marriage. He goes out most weekends and is gone the whole weekend with his friends. Neither of us make the effort to spend time...

A.   28 March 2015: It seems to me like he is detaching himself form the marriage and relationship. To leave you and the child alone EVERY week-end so he can run around and have fun with his friends is NOT working on his gambling problem - it's been little OVER a m... (read in full...)

Would you allow your children to meet someone so soon, especially when you have doubts over how long the relationship could last?

Q.   The father of my twin daughters wants his girlfriend of 11 weeks to meet our girls, but I'm convinced it's too soon. My boyfriend didn't meet my children until we had been seeing each other 6 months, and he was mummy's special friend who came for ...

A.   28 March 2015: I would prefer to wait for a more stable relationship, so 6-12 months down the line. For MY own dates and preferably those whom their Daddy dates. I think if you talk out your concerns with BOTH him and her, you 3 can find a compromise that works ... (read in full...)

How can I overcome this belief that I am ugly?

Q.   I'm hoping someone can help. I hate how I look in general and there are certain things that I have done to make myself more attractive- I've lost weight, had several facial moles removed, straightened my teeth, had hair extensions, got ...

A.   28 March 2015: I think instead of focusing on what you DO NOT like about yourself, you find the things you DO like. Like your eyes or smile (or whatever) and make THAT your focal point. LOVE those parts. If you walk around with a twinkle in your eyes, rather then ... (read in full...)

I have mixed feelings and don't know what to do!

Q.   I have been with my fiancé for almost 2 years and have been sort of watching him. I have him under my phone plan so I monitor his calls and texts. He friended an ex on FB and that didn't sit too well with me so we had a fight. He refused to ...

A.   28 March 2015: Why would he do it to you? Why would you MONITOR his activity on his phone? You are NOT his mother, nor should you HAVE to monitor his behavior. IT DOESN'T make him become a better or trustworthy man. IT IS NOT your job to monitor him. IF ... (read in full...)

Am I doing something wrong in this relationship or is she just "over" me?

Q.   Well, I met this woman about a week ago at a friends party. We have been sending messages over email this week. I have told her a lot about things I am doing and she responded. I actually said I was sorry for sending a long message and that...

A.   28 March 2015: I forgot to add this THIS have JUST been a WEEK - it's NOT a relationship..... YET. RELAX and TRY not to complicate thing s by reading into EVERY little thing she does/doesn't do. It will make you nuts.... (read in full...)

He has a Gf. He also told me he loves me. I have a crush on him. What should I do ?

Q.   Last month (February) I told my male best friend that I have developed feelings for him. For a while we flirted but he had a girlfriend. Yesterday however we went out to the park and he told me that he loves me when he still has a girlfrie...

A.   28 March 2015: I think you should NOT have told him about your crush - BECAUSE? he has a GF. BUT you did, so now you are in a "weaker" position. He kissed you, I'm not sure if that is because he likes you or JUST to test your limits. Obviously YOU have NOT MORA... (read in full...)

Toxic work place? Co-workers underminging me. How can I face them on Monday? How should I behave?

Q.   I'd really like some advice. I work with a lady called “X” who i thought i got on well with. We text each other outside of work and i've given her a lift home etc She's older than me so i sort of looked to her as a mother figure in a way. ...

A.   28 March 2015: I'm with Auntie Bim Bim WALK in with your HEAD held high, be polite, BUT FOR GOODNESS SAKE do NOT discuss ANYTHING with these two ladies. If they try and chat, stick to chatting about the weather. If she bring up the "issue" tell her you already ... (read in full...)

I'm finding peoples behaviour odd.

Q.   Why do people remove friends from facebook? I had someone who we were helping and we kicked him out for being creepy towards my sister (he had been warned in the past), hes blocked me and my gf. I was doing all the right things by him even afte...

A.   28 March 2015: I agree with Cindy (as usual) But in all honestly WHY the hay bother with wondering WHY this creepy asshat doesn't want to be your FB friend? HE IS A NUTTER.... (read in full...)

This boy who likes me is spreading rumours.

Q.   This guy at school has liked me for a while and is constantly asking me out. I have explained to him that I'm not looking to have a relationship at the moment but he is insisting he walks me home everyday. Yesterday he was jealous of me and my guy b...

A.   28 March 2015: THIS guy is NOT taking NO for an answer and THAT is not a good thing. It's a HUGE red flag. And STOP being "friends" with him, the guy is not someone who is a good friend. He thinks he somehow OWN you. RED FLAG, girl. I'd start with te... (read in full...)

He only talks to me when he is drunk!

Q.   I don't know if I should continue trying or step away. I've known this guy for over 5 years. he is well aware that I like him however there is a huge age gap.which I believe may be the reason why we haven't become anything, nor has he tried mak...

A.   28 March 2015: GOOD grief girl! STOP being his personal taxi. He doesn't want to leave with anyone else? WHO THE F cares what he wants? Yes, next time you run into him, say hi and no thanks for drinks offered, and no flirting. Go hang out with your friend... (read in full...)

How dare she lecture me about our quick visit where my son barely did anything, when she allowed her son to continue his disruptive behaviour for 30 minutes!

Q.   I'm so annoyed about something that's happened at work and I'm not sure whether to confront the person, speak to my manager or keep quite. I work in an office 3 days a week- Monday's, Tuesdays and Thursday's as I have a 3 year old son. ...

A.   28 March 2015: I'm with WiseOwlE. I'd let it go. As for the kid, well he is a brat because he parents LET him. If you have to bring your son in again (like last time) to drop something off, MAKE sure your BOSS BOSS (not the supervisor) tells the supervisor t... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is using my flaws against me, what do I do?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 9 months, and we are in a long distance relationship (5 hours drive apart), at the start of our relationship everything was perfect, I generally felt he was the one! We had so much in common, but as the m...

A.   28 March 2015: I think... (and you may not like my answer) that you are not cut out for a LDR. And certainly not with a guy who isn't a good match for you. I think you are one of those women who pours EVERYTHING into the relationship and then don't understa... (read in full...)

Ladies, your possible reaction if you surmised, during sex, that a guy was a virgin then would you stop having sex or what?

Q.   Hi Cupid, I wanna paint a pictute here for woman and hear what they think. Pleeeeeeeease be brutally honest, no euphemism. If you (a woman) were in your twenties and liked some guy, just like, not a romeo and juliette love story, you've know...

A.   28 March 2015: I don't give a fly's fart about virginity. I don't buy into the whole IDEA of virginity. Not for women, nor for men. If I was in bed with a guy and he didn't seem to know what he was doing I would guide him, tell him what I'd like, ASK him what... (read in full...)

Why is my ex letting me know that she's stalking my social media?

Q.   I recently broke up with my gf of about a year. Throughout the relationship she was frequently insecure and jealous, but when she wasn't her love was like the sun. Eventually her jealously and insecurities made her angry, mean, and distrustful ...

A.   28 March 2015: Can't you just block her? As to why she is doing it, it's hard to say. Can be that she doesn't WANT to think she was "replaced" so fast, maybe she isn't as happy in her new relationship as she pretends to be.. EITHER WAY - it doesn't matter s... (read in full...)

Am I doing something wrong in this relationship or is she just "over" me?

Q.   Well, I met this woman about a week ago at a friends party. We have been sending messages over email this week. I have told her a lot about things I am doing and she responded. I actually said I was sorry for sending a long message and that...

A.   28 March 2015: CALL her. TALK to her, not SMS's. Then if you ARE interested ASK her out. YOU can not CARRY on a budding relationship/friendship/getting to know you over e-mail. It's impersonal. And don't forget this lady HAS a life. She might be inter... (read in full...)

I do still love my Gf. Yet I'm having feelings for another. Should I talk about this to my Gf?

Q.   I am in a relationship of 5 years and I'm in my final year of university so I am away from my girlfriend weeks at a time. Recently we have been arguing more frequently and we both recognise the spark is going out and so are currently trying to ignit...

A.   27 March 2015:  Instead of talking to your GF about some OTHER woman you are now infatuated WITH, TALK about either ending the current relationship or WHAT you BOTH need to do to make it work. And then minimize the time you spend with this room-mate.... (read in full...)

What else? Tried anti-depressants, counselling and contraceptive pill to try to control side affects of heavy periods. Any further suggestions before I see Dr next week?

Q.   Hi, I have had some great advice on here before relating to periods and anxiety - people suggested fish oil and cutting out caffeine and these have really helped me a lot - as a result I am nowhere near as anxious as I was. However, I won...

A.   27 March 2015: Unless you wish to become pregnant in the future maybe consider endometrial ablation, which is a minor invasive procedure - using hot/cold/microwaves to remove the lining of your uterus. It CAN in some cased STOP the period all together, without ... (read in full...)

My aspergers boyfriend wont have sex with me.

Q.   Hi, I am seeking help as I am dating an aspergers male virgin. I have researched various articles and I am trying to understand it more. I have grown up around aspergers/autism as majority of males in my family have it, however dating is different. ...

A.   27 March 2015: It might be just TOO much for him for now. Too intimate. So you have two choices. TO RESPECT it or end the relationship.... (read in full...)

Why is he so insistent he made me jealous?

Q.   If a guy asks you if you he made you jealous one night and then proceeds to list a play-by-play of your every reaction from that night justifying why he thinks he made you jealous, was he trying to make you jealous or is making people jealous a ...

A.   27 March 2015: He thinks if you are jealous HE *wins*. Why would you be with a guy who acts this way though? He seems to get off on YOU feeling like crap (jealous). People like that are petty.... (read in full...)

She told me she wasn't going to stay in touch with the ex, but now she is going to visit him!

Q.   My gf left her Facebook acc open in my cellphone. I read a conversation where she tells her exbf in brazil she is gonna go visit him. We've been together for almost 6 months. I talked to her about this when we went out first and she said she wasnt ...

A.   27 March 2015: I have to ask how long ago did she break up with this guy, and ARE they actually exes or still dating? I would not be OK with this. If a persons says, I have no contact with or reason to contact the ex, and then does it behind my back? Not coo... (read in full...)

How to overcome the sudden void left behind through my decision to have my very loved sick cat euthanized?

Q.   Hi, I know this is not a relationship question or even a question but right now my world is just in ruins. I have decided to euthanize my baby cat. He was very sick and I did not have the money to make him better. I feel so guilty. I stayed with...

A.   26 March 2015: Loving a pet is nothing wrong, they are for many of us part of the family. You have to remember that what you did was the RIGHT choice. Yes maybe he could have lived a little longer, but he would have been in pain and misery. I had a Bunny... (read in full...)

Would you be ticked at a one word reply from your BF in an email?

Q.   If you send your BF an email with a funny pic attached and he just replied "Cute!" would you get ticked about the one word answer? Especially if at the end of the message you said "Miss you" and he did not say "Miss you" back? ...

A.   26 March 2015: **Would you be ticked at a one word reply from your BF in an email?** Not really. You sent him a funny picture, it doesn't warrant a declaration of feelings or half a page of emotions. My husband would probably have sent a "LOL" reply - no ... (read in full...)

Should I really go through with surgery to correct my breasts?

Q.   Hello everyone glad I found a place I could receive some help. Has anyone here ever gotten plastic surgery, specifically a boob job? My problem is very personal to me. I found out at a young age that my breasts have a deformity. This has always ...

A.   26 March 2015: Consult with your doctor first and look into your health insurance as well. Some insurances can help pay part of it it it's reconstructive surgery others, it's it's a matter of your well being. No matter your age, hating parts of your body is ... (read in full...)

We are having trouble getting pleasure from sex and aren't using protection because we can't agree what type to use

Q.   My boyfriend and I have tried to have sex a few times...not a lot. I say "tried" because every time we do it neither one of us is able to finish. I ALWAYS have to use my hand to do both of us at the end. I am not complaining much about it but I ...

A.   26 March 2015: The pull out method is NOT a safe way to avoid pregnancies. The rate is actually 22% (that is 22 out of a 100 couples using the pull out method ends up with a pregnancy). Also, there is ALWAYS the chance that he had a little (don't need a lot) pre... (read in full...)

Is it safe to go ahead dating him even though he said he is not ready for a relationship right now? He's going through a divorce

Q.   I started seeing this guy who is in the process of getting a divorce about 2 months ago. His divorce will be finalized in about a month. He told me on our fourth date that he had been married for 7 years and for the last 2 years things had gone sour ...

A.   26 March 2015: I think you should REALLY listen to him. IF YOU want a relationship and not just something casual... HE ISN'T for you. And in my opinion, NEVER date a "separated" person. They SHOULD use the separation to work through whatever issues they had ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's lack and concern and hygiene make me think it might be time to end things

Q.   Lately I feel like Im reconsidering my relationship with my partner of 1 year. I feel like here's not there for me in the way a partner should be some e.g. my parents are going through a divorce, when I try and talk to him about it, all he says is ...

A.   26 March 2015: The lack of hygiene would do it in for me. I don't get the whole being nasty and dirty. My hubby has a job that gets him pretty grubby on some days, but the first thing he does when coming home is shower and change of clothes. The there is the w... (read in full...)

How do I leave a job that needs me?

Q.   I work in a small company of 12-14 people. Besides my manager, I'm the only one in my department. There's two other depts. I've been here 9 months. My position requires negotiating rates and contracts, and maintaining a good relationship and...

A.   26 March 2015: Do you not have a contract? And do you already have a new job lined up?... (read in full...)

He broke up with me, but still contacts me every day ....

Q.   My boyfriend if 1 yr broke up with me a month ago. He felt that I was too attached and "I don't listen" or give him every thing that he demands. Ever since, he has been texting me about every detail going in his life. He doesn't text me every day ...

A.   26 March 2015: It's funny that he called YOU too attached and it seems HE is now acting like HE is the one who is too attached... I would tell him to STOP texting you. And then I would BLOCK his number ( or better still get a new number) By the CONSTANT con... (read in full...)

What does this say about me as a person that my heart says just do it but my head says no

Q.   I have been reading a psychology book lately and one of the chapters is about emotionally unstable people. The first person who comes to my mind is my ex. Weve been broken up for quite a few years. Alot of the descriptions of this personality pret...

A.   25 March 2015: You know, I think it's just part of life. What you miss about her (I wager) isn't the drama, issues and "bad" episodes but the good times. And unless she was as nutty as Hannibal Lecter and it's her COOKING you miss, I think it's pretty darn nor... (read in full...)

Is it wrong if we still see an EX as an IDEAL partner?

Q.   Is it wrong if we still see an EX as an IDEAL partner? Last fall I had a mundane breakup, not too dramatic or over the top, just a little saddening. This girl had very attractive characteristics like being level headed and excelling at com...

A.   25 March 2015: I want to add that maybe you also say her as IDEAL because you WANTED the relationship to be more meaningful than it was. Making her seem a little better than she was. Liking certain traits is normal, I presume. But they should never be the be-a... (read in full...)

My partner had an affair. Should I share the details with other husband?

Q.   My long term partner (Me: 29F and Him: 32M) had an affair with a recently married woman, lasting about a month that I am aware of. They were family friends, I bartended her brother's wedding, etc. She and I were "friends". Long story short: I had a ...

A.   25 March 2015: Err **EDIT* I wrote: YOUR your crap to sort out. Should have said: NOT your crap to sort out!... (read in full...)

Is he interested in me, even if he has a girlfriend?

Q.   *Notice: I am NOT interested in him and never had feelings for this guy. I am a female and I have this classmate (a male) who known me since middle school. He is very much popular and girls have crushes on him. He does have a girlfriend, but I ki...

A.   25 March 2015: Ignore it. HE HAS a GF, so even IF he is interested in you he isn't so interested that he is going to dump the GF and date you. You say you are NOT interested in him, YET you notice every little thing he does as "he must be interested in me"... M... (read in full...)

My old fantasies don't turn me on anymore

Q.   Help, I can't fantasise anymore. My husband makes me climax evertime during sex using his tongue, hands and also through penetration alone. It's mindblowing and I couldn't ask for more. However, I used to be able to imagine all sort...

A.   25 March 2015: Maybe take a break from the "self-loving" ? You have been conditioning yourself for a long time, so maybe skipping it will fire up the imagination. ... (read in full...)

My partner had an affair. Should I share the details with other husband?

Q.   My long term partner (Me: 29F and Him: 32M) had an affair with a recently married woman, lasting about a month that I am aware of. They were family friends, I bartended her brother's wedding, etc. She and I were "friends". Long story short: I had a ...

A.   25 March 2015: People handle infidelity in different ways. He doesn't NEED the details FROM YOU to decide what he wants to do. You have no idea how detailed an account the wife has given him. If they have sought counseling or not. Since you have decided to NOT s... (read in full...)

Why would the man I am dating say this?

Q.   We have been dating for 5 months and he knows I have fallen for him, but I have no idea how feels about me or what he wants??? Twice this week he has said come off of birth control as I am not opposed to having more children. We only see each other ...

A.   25 March 2015: Ask him. I think it's a RIDICULOUS request honestly, unless you have some secret desire to be a single mother. Given your age the chance of complications, miscarriages and high-risk pregnancy is much higher after 40. He will STILL be super b... (read in full...)

He thinks that someone who is bisexual can't be faithful. Do I tell him I'm bisexual?

Q.   Hi all, So, I have been with my boyfriend for two and a half years. He's wonderful, and I wouldn't change a thing about our relationship but there's one thing he doesn't know about me: I'm bisexual. I've known since I was fourteen, but it just has...

A.   25 March 2015: Jeeez, so your BF is ignorant. I have to agree being straight doesn't mean you are more likely to be faithful, and bisexuals more likely to cheat. I think your BF if ANYTHING don't like the idea that a GIRL could potentially DUMP him for ano... (read in full...)

Is it worth it for me to ask out my co-worker? And is it even likely she'd agree to go out with me?

Q.   For the past couple of weeks (probably 8) I've been talking to a cute coworker who sits on the other side of the building where I work at. I usually pass by there and whenever she gives an inviting hello or I have something interesting to talk ...

A.   24 March 2015: I am normally of the "don't shit where you eat" (aka date at your work place) but asking her to eat lunch with you is not a bad idea. If nothing else maybe you have made a friend.... (read in full...)

About Pornography: are my thoughts about women who like pornography accurate? Or simplistic generalizations? Or incorrect assumption?

Q.   This is just a general question about something I've wondered about. Its safe to say that men who like porn come from all walks of life. But what kind of woman likes it or at least accepts it within a relationship? Often I'll read commen...

A.   24 March 2015: Yes. I think women who likes/accept porn are from AS WIDE a selection as MEN who watches porn. I DO NOT watch porn, but I have no problem with my husband watching it. I'm not a liberal, I do have a couple of tattoos but I do not believe in ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong if we still see an EX as an IDEAL partner?

Q.   Is it wrong if we still see an EX as an IDEAL partner? Last fall I had a mundane breakup, not too dramatic or over the top, just a little saddening. This girl had very attractive characteristics like being level headed and excelling at com...

A.   23 March 2015: **I still see nearly all of her traits as belonging to my ideal partner, so my question is, does this hurt my ability to move on?** No. We like what we like. And apart from her anxiety issues she might check a LOT of your "I like that" boxes... (read in full...)

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