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*oneypie agony aunt


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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Boyfriend doesn't look at other girls...lying?

Q.   Basically, my boyfriend lies about looking at other girls. I've always known that men, even in a committed relationship, look at other women. Obviously I know some do it more than others and for some there's just glance. My boyfriend claims he ...

A.   27 August 2014: YOU are looking for things to use as ammo. If he tells you he DOES look at other girls, you';d freak out and think he will cheat or... find other girls prettier... If he tells you he DOESN'T really pay attention to other girls, he MUST be lying... (read in full...)

Expecting a baby with Bf. Looking for accomodation. Bf suggested adding a female room-mate. I said no. Was I wrong to say no to his idea?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are currently apartment hunting. We are expecting a child in a few months and have been looking for a 2 bedroom apartment with little luck. The other day he messaged me telling me that one of his female coworkers was looking ...

A.   27 August 2014: I think you did the right thing. You went with your gut. To be honest having your first baby is NOT the time to get a room mate you barely know (if ANY room mate). I would try and NOT overthink it, but still stick to your guns with no stranger... (read in full...)

She said she's not into sex but now seems to want a relationship. What should I do?

Q.   I have known this woman for 20 years. We are now both divorced. We've been dating basically just to get out of the house and we enjoy each others company. The first date we went out on, she stated she's not into sex out of no where. I thought gee I ...

A.   26 August 2014: Be honest with her, right back. Tell her you really enjoy her company but you are NOT looking for a sexless relationship, so you rather be JUST friends with her. I think it's fair enough that she no longer has an interest in sex and it's fair eno... (read in full...)

Struggling to get over my holiday romance. Do I try harder or let it go?

Q.   I am just confused and need some help as I have no one else to talk to. I recently went on holiday in Greece with my friends. I met this guy from England aswell whilst over there. We just clicked well so I thought. We spent the majority of the time ...

A.   26 August 2014: I think, for YOUR own sake, that you need to let it go and move on. There isn't anything MORE you can do. If he doesn't even bother to reply to a text from you, what else can you do? Text some more for him to ignore? Call him so he can ignore y... (read in full...)

My boyfriend called me ugly, should I be upset?

Q.   I've been with my bf for about 3 years now. He's never called me ugly before (and I'm not too attractive) but recently I've made a new guy friend and I was texting him a lot today. My boyfriend was with me and he kept asking who i was texting. I ...

A.   26 August 2014: Yeah your BF is jealous and... rude as frack.... (read in full...)

I go on a weekend away and come home to a boyfriend with what looks like a love bite on his neck

Q.   Hi everyone! I'm just wanting your opinion on whether I'm being naive here! Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 years, I've never had a reason to not trust him! This weekend I went away with my friends for bank holiday and he went out ...

A.   26 August 2014: You know, I had a nerf gun fight in the back yard with the kids and one hit my throat and 15 minutes later... it looked JUST like a hickey. Hubby teased me for days. So yea, I believe your BF. Specially if the friend posted another bruise with the... (read in full...)

My boyfriend disappeared for days and I feel sad, confused, and lonely

Q.   My boyfriend and I have (or had...) a very happy relationship, at least it was happy on my end, and he seemed happy too, but now I have no idea what is going on. It was very hard for me to trust him at first because of all the things that have ...

A.   26 August 2014: You are being so very very naive and THAT will hurt most YOU in the end. His whole FAMILY are selling drugs, because of bad finances? Seriously? Do they think they are the "new" Breaking Bad family? Honey, you might think this is LOVE, but if ... (read in full...)

The more I find out about her past the more ill I feel

Q.   sorry for the long post but gotta put from the start...i met my wife in august of 2012,she was 23 i was 28 she was a co-worker and from the moment i meet her i was just consumed by her never got tired of being around her and hated when our shift ...

A.   26 August 2014: First off, a bacterial vaginosis is NOT an STD. It's an bacterial infection in the vagina. Can be caused by many things, like OVER washing (douching), having MANY partners (the Ph value in the vagina is sensitive and semen can seriously much it ... (read in full...)

If I stay with him, I feel like my soul will die. If I leave, I'll leave with the clothes on my back and my child, with nowhere to turn...

Q.   So I need some advice/help... I'm 24 and a mother to a beautiful 7 year old daughter. I have also been in what I have discovered to be a very toxic relationship for 5 years. To sum it up, we have both hurt each other for no reason but too...

A.   26 August 2014: Do you have a job? Can your family help? Because I fully agree with Auntie Cindy. YOU NEED to leave. Now.... (read in full...)

Would you start a relationship with a good friend who asks, "If we're both not married by 30 then will you marry me?"

Q.   I have a very good friend. He was my first love, 10 years ago, and we have kept in touch ever since. He means a lot to me, I love him, we usually get on and he makes me howl with laughter. We also have similar interests and ideals etc. Basically ...

A.   26 August 2014: Yep I had a "I'll marry you by 30" buddy too. I would NEVER have married him. Never settle. Unless you don't take marriage seriously. So WHAT if you are not married by 30? And I agree you are taking it to literal and too serious. You ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to be a lone traveler!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating about two years now. He has a son with another woman unplanned. I've always known he's wanted to travel the world at some point and I never thought much of it as its something I'd like to do at some point too, not ...

A.   26 August 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE. Set him free. Move on. Find yourself a man who doesn't live in LA-LA land. He IS wanting to run from his responsibilities. Now I get it, MEN don't really have a say when a woman gets pregnant. They have no say if she ha... (read in full...)

Ex was on the verge of cheating and blames me for his indiscretion!

Q.   Hi Aunties and Uncles, I was in a relationship with a man for almost 2 years. I recently broke it off with him because he was texting another women. Nothing horribly inappropriate, but eventually he admitted he was attracted to her and started ...

A.   26 August 2014: I honestly laughed at your post (NOT AT YOU) but seriously? He told you it was YOUR fault? Honey, don't tell you me you believe his bullshit? He is mad that HE got caught being LESS than decent. Like Cindy explained he is acting like a chil... (read in full...)

I think my B/f might he seeing this other girl but I don't know what to ask him.

Q.   My boyfriend and I normally have a great sex life. We would have sex maybe 2-3 times a day when we first met, and although nothing too kinky, it was adventurous. When we moved in together it slowed down, and he almost stopped wanting it as of...

A.   26 August 2014: Well I see a couple of problems here. You snooped because your gut told you something was up. Which is why most people snoop and I won't go into a long moral tirade about your BF's privacy, because you do seem to know that snooping is NOT a good t... (read in full...)

Help cliquey work colleagues, yes it's not unusual but It hurts!

Q.   last night I worked a night shift with 2 younger girls from the uk, they are good friends in and out of work , which isfine but they made no effort to include me in any conversation, I know we are there to work and they are friends, matter ...

A.   25 August 2014: Bring a book or magazine. Working together doesn't mean they HAVE to include you in "social" chatter. I'd just leave the "kids" to themselves and focus on work. ... (read in full...)

I told him I like him, his answer has me confused.

Q.   I finally told him I like him, I couldn't look at him straight in the eye because I was embarrassed to admit it first. And surprisingly, he said I like you too. But then when I asked what he meant in case I misinterpret it, he said I like you not as ...

A.   25 August 2014: I would presume he likes you AS a person. As in, you are a good person. Not JUST a good friend. Does it mean he WANTS to date you? Not necessarily. Since he hasn't asked you out, knowing that you "like like" him. You can be attracted to someone ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's friend is trying to get him to cheat. What should I do?

Q.   Hi everyone. Me and my boyfriend have been together for five years, we did have a 11 week separation back last year and got back together in February. This separation was due to a change in circumstances and in this break we both dated other peop...

A.   25 August 2014: Just talk to your BF, tell him you trust him, but you don't like his friend undermining your relationship. That way your BF knows HE can go to the party (because IF I was the gf I would "let" him) and that you have no doubt he will be faithful... (read in full...)

Does it matter that my boyfriend never confronted his friend's creepy behavior toward me?

Q.   When my boyfriend and I first started talking to each other, before we had any titles or anything, he invited me to a party at his friends house. It was going to be the first night we spent together so I was pretty excited. I invited my good friend ...

A.   25 August 2014: Was the creepy gropy friend drunk too? If so it "might" excuse his behavior a little bit, however, I would not expect your BF to stand up for you and tell this guy it was a disgusting thing to do, I WOULD tell the douche-lord myself. (I would te... (read in full...)

A drunken night of kissing and cuddling meant nothing to my friend! How do I respond back to him?

Q.   Hi everyone, i hope you can help!! I'll try and make this as short as i can! Ive been friends with this guy since school (like when we were from about 10) and a year ago we reconnected as friends and even though he was at uni out of london, whene...

A.   25 August 2014: It takes two to kiss. You could have stopped this at any point in time, if you WEREN'T SURE you wanted it or weren't sure HE really wanted it. You are also old enough to be honest with a friend. I think alcohol was only part of the reason it ha... (read in full...)

Is she interested , or just flirty ?

Q.   So I need I little advice here . I've recently became interested in a friend that I've had over the years but no recently have I become interested in her . She's older than she being 25 and I being 23 . The problem is I don't know if she is ...

A.   25 August 2014: Make a trip to the zoo all 3 of you. Tell her before hand that you WANT her to me someone very special to you. That way there will be time to get to know each other but enough distractions to make it an easy met.... (read in full...)

I'm reaching the age where I can't have children and I have none of my own. How do I cope?

Q.   I am 42 (will be 43 next April) and childless. My marriage failed 3 years ago as my ex husband was abusive - I deliberately did not have children with him because of it but held out way too long for things to change (10 years). Anyway - I met a ...

A.   25 August 2014: I have a good friend who hadn't found "the one" by the time she was 39 and she decided she didn't NEED "the one" to have a child. She went to her doctor and talked it over then she went to a sperm bank and picked out a donor. She now has a happy ... (read in full...)

How do I know if this girl had sex before me?

Q.   hello, I have a girlfriend. last month i had sex with her,this was my first time.after did the sex lot of confusion created. according to my girl friend she was also first time but during sex i seen her membrane had already broken and vagina is lo...

A.   25 August 2014: How do you know? YOU trust her. Not having a hymen is NO proof. Neither is being "loose". That would be like saying that men with smaller a penis has had a LOT of sex or not enough.. It makes NO sense. The size of her vagina is a variable as th... (read in full...)

Jealousy is ruining my life!

Q.   For as far back as I can remember, I have been a VERY jealous person. I was jealous of friends, girls in my class, and one day in primary school, my friends mum actually said to me that I was a very jealous little girl because I got so pissed off ...

A.   25 August 2014: I agree with Auntie Bim There is no "instant fix" of jealousy. You need to figure out WHY you feel this way, then get PROPER help in how to deal with it.... (read in full...)

I thought my guy friend had feelings for me so I wrote a long email expressing mine and now its been 3 days since I heard from him!

Q.   I wrote an email to the guy friend telling him exactly how I feel about us. He has been hinting and giving clues that he is in love with me. He has loved me for sometime and would like us to have something meaningful. Actually he has been ...

A.   25 August 2014: Accept that this is a reality of life. YOU will sometimes open up to someone and NOT have your feelings reciprocated. IT happens. And if you don't venture out there with your feelings you might never know. This guy (I think) liked the FANTAS... (read in full...)

It is wrong if I would kiss my older 3rd cousin and experiment?

Q.   I just got in touch with my third cousin over a year ago. We both find each other attractive and flirt a lot. He even offered to pay for my first tattoo for when im legally able to do it without my parents. This means that I would have to go up to ...

A.   25 August 2014: I think it's IS wrong. And I think he is overstepping some SERIOUS lines here. He is 10 years older then you, and SHOULD know better. What IF he doesn't want to stop at kissing? This is a MALE family member who SHOULD make you feel safe, inste... (read in full...)

5 year relationship ending because of us being jealous and controlling

Q.   MOD NOTE: 2 questions put into one Hello there, Yesterday my bf of 5 years told me on the phone he does not know what to do, he thinks to end the relationship is best for both of us because we will have more arguments. I cried on the phone and he...

A.   25 August 2014: Do YOU think this is good or bad? Only YOU can answer that. Maybe he texted because of the FB thing you pulled. He knows you are not a happy camper and even if he doesn't want to DATE you he might still CARE about you. The thing is though ... (read in full...)

My ex will give me money but only after I have sex with him. I need the money but don't want the sex!

Q.   I have been trying to start a business since last year, since i am unemployed but lack of capital has been my biggest challenge. Lats month i met my ex, who is financially stable and he promised to sponsor my business. So he wants to give me this...

A.   25 August 2014: You don't need excuses you need to be HONEST. And tell him, I'd take your loan, but I do not want sex. Tell him you are NOt a prostitute and you do not like being treated as one. If he doesn't WANT to give you money without the sex, I would... (read in full...)

Do I continue to like my crush or let it die out? He has a girlfriend!

Q.   hi everyone who wont judge me, im bestfriends with this guy and i've secretly liked him since the day we met and then i told him i like him and he likes me but the thing is he has a girlfriend and it's just been awkward since so what do i do stay ...

A.   25 August 2014: Like WiseOwlE said, you should NOT put your life on hold for a guy. Specially a guy who might not even date you if he was single. If a GUY has a GF, you do NOT "confess" your feelings to them. That is not right. And it's DISRESPECTFUL to the frie... (read in full...)

Can I get sick from doggy style anal sex?

Q.   hi everyone plz help me n my bf we meet in 3mnths ago we madly in luv but everytym we hv sex (dogstyl) we do it in my ass n it painfull sometimes i cnt even seat for dayz becouse off the pain im feeling when i tell him he said he enjoys the dogstyl ...

A.   25 August 2014: If you do not enjoy it and are in pain for days then WHY do you keep doing it? Because HE likes it? Have a little self respect, young lady, and tell him I don't enjoy the anal sex at all. If he doesn't accept that then WHY be with him? Are you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is still close to his ex girlfriend's family. Should I be worried?

Q.   My partner of 3 years still spends a lot of time with his ex-girlfriends mother-in-law, calls her mum and generally spends time with the family. He's kept this from me a few times when he wanted to spend time with them rather than my family. He's ...

A.   25 August 2014: I think it comes down to HOW often he sees them. If it's NOT that often, I would regard them as "his" friends and let it be. My first BF still occasionally visit my parents (well my Dad now, since my Mom passed away) and we broke up over 20 years... (read in full...)

I regret letting the moment pass ......

Q.   Hi Guys I like a girl at work. She is one of the girls there who is very pretty and most guys try to flirt with her. I however don't do that much cause I am much senior to her (11 years) but there is always teasing and some tension between us. Last...

A.   25 August 2014: I think you did the right thing in NOT letting it go further. Because THAT is how a gentleman behaves, he doesn't take advantage of a drunk younger co-worker. And I agree with Cerberus & WiseOwlE. I rarely think it's a good idea to date co-worke... (read in full...)

I am constantly being used by guys!

Q.   Hi there, For some reason, I'm constantly being used by guys. It all started when my boyfriend had slept with me then cheated on me with another girl. Ever since then, I've had no self confidence and doubt myself a lot. I thought it was time for...

A.   25 August 2014: CMMP is right. The first BF was an idiot. He cheated on you because he is a selfish asshole. HE didn't cheat on YOU because there is "something" wrong with you. The second guy you're dating is a LDR. So when you two met up ALL he wants is sex.... (read in full...)

I feel I deserve more attention from my married co worker.

Q.   Hi all, I cannot bear it anymore.. it has become obsessed and so engrossed.. i found one of my new comer office girl sad.. i did my best to make her happy and talking. i was patiently listening and made her talk and entertained her in various ways....

A.   25 August 2014:  You were nice to her when she first started working and now you want her to "pay back" for being nice? Am I understanding you right? She OWES you nothing. Maybe she DOESN'T WANT to be your "work" friend any more. And what do you do then?... (read in full...)

Should I let my former best friend back into my life?

Q.   I met a girl at college and we instantly became really close. She was the same age as me, and we just got on really well. She has four children and from what she told me, an abusive partner. I helped her as much as I could, but I was beginning to ...

A.   25 August 2014: Honestly, WHAT would you get out of this friendship? Do you want to try again because you think she has changed, or because you feel sorry for her? Funny enough, her FIRST contact to you in a long time is HER asking YOU for a favor. That isn't ab... (read in full...)

I think he blocked me but I'm unsure why! Should I try to find out?

Q.   So aunts and uncles, I asked a question a few weeks ago about a guy I talk to in New Jersey, whom I planned on pursuing when I got up there. He's my best friends brother, and we've hung out and what not when he comes down here to visit family.. ...

A.   25 August 2014: I agree with highmaintainance101 He is JUST not interested. A guy who blocks you, has no interest to know you further. You can ask his why, but that will make you come across as dense more than desperate. I mean, seriously, if YOU decide... (read in full...)

He proposed, but every weekend is taken up with his children ... what if I want a child too?

Q.   Hi. My bofriend proposed 2 months ago. As he has 2 kids with ex, he spent Saturdays taking them out somewher, dropped them back at their mom's because she doesn't like them sleeping out and on Sunday took them to visit their grandmother from about ...

A.   25 August 2014: From your post it is hard to figure out IF you are part in these week-end trips with the kids. IF you are NOT part of the spending the weekend, but expected to "entertain" yourself EVERY week-end, I think he is being unfair to you. If you are supp... (read in full...)

I cant stand my boyfriend's family and things with my boyfriend are starting to fall apart as well. What do I do?

Q.   Iv been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now, engaged for a year. I agree that I rushed into this relationship and I have nothing to say in my defense. I had known him for many years because we worked in the same place and he seemed great. ...

A.   25 August 2014: Are you asking permission to dump a man you do not love? I agree I don't get this pot either. You feel like you are settling for a man who is beneath you and you are unsure what to do? DUMP him, end it. Ask him to move out (if he is livin... (read in full...)

What signs should I look out for when men flirt or are interested?

Q.   Having trouble 'reading men's signals' recently... Recently I have 'noticed' a couple of attractive men that I have come to know. When I speak to them there is always a 'nervous' discussion or an inability to look the other in the eye for too long...

A.   25 August 2014: Lots of people have NO problem being AMAZING when you aren't face to face. Once you are face to face, it IS a bit different. I would honestly spend more time face-to-face with him, because otherwise you will build him up to be this "super-g... (read in full...)

.I don't understand why I should be faithful and invest in a relationship that has unstable future plans

Q.   I have been dating this man for a year and a half and I need a solution to a problem. We are in a long distance relationship an hour and a half drive away.I live in a big city and he lives in a small town. I am willing to relocate to another big ...

A.   25 August 2014: I agree with CMMP Being faithful and investing in a relationship makes sense to most people. If you down the line have to re-think the relationship, so be it, but being unfaithful? HOW is that going to help you achieve your goals of a family? ... (read in full...)

Does my longtime friend suddenly want an affair with me?

Q.   A former female co worker and I have remained friends after she quit her job. She's married I'm divorced. I have been invited to their house a few times over the years and her husband is a nice guy. When I meet this woman for lunch it's been nothing ...

A.   24 August 2014:  If she kisses you in a way you don't want to be kissed then turn your head and offer a cheek, or TELL her. I'm not comfortable with you kissing me like that. YOU are a GROWN man. IN YOUR 50's. Don't tell me you can not set her straight. She... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and I are not speaking .... AGAIN!

Q.   Well my girlfriend and I arn't speaking again. She literally makes me feel nuts with how double standard she is. We were talking about how you can fall in love with two people, she claims she would be okay if I cheated on her and fell for someone...

A.   24 August 2014: It sounds like an absolutely horrid and unhealthy relationship. Why does she have all the power? Why haven't you just walked away? I mean WHAT do you gt out of this relationship? Other than being bullies, used and abused? My advice change all your... (read in full...)

5 year relationship ending because of us being jealous and controlling

Q.   MOD NOTE: 2 questions put into one Hello there, Yesterday my bf of 5 years told me on the phone he does not know what to do, he thinks to end the relationship is best for both of us because we will have more arguments. I cried on the phone and he...

A.   23 August 2014: I get that. 5 years is a long time, but... would you rather he leave you after 6? or after an engagement or marriage? Take whatever good and/or bad from those 5 years and take them as experience that will help you in the future. Don't look at ... (read in full...)

5 year relationship ending because of us being jealous and controlling

Q.   MOD NOTE: 2 questions put into one Hello there, Yesterday my bf of 5 years told me on the phone he does not know what to do, he thinks to end the relationship is best for both of us because we will have more arguments. I cried on the phone and he...

A.   23 August 2014: I think he has come to the end of his rope and you refuse to accept it. CRYING doesn't fix anything. You USE it to get what you want I suspect. He WANTS to be single, so why FORCE a relationship that isn't working down his throat? Do y... (read in full...)

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