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*oneypie

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Married recently. Are these marriage problems happening too soon?

Q.   My husband and I just got married about a month ago, unfortunately we can't live together because neither of us have a job at the moment. Although we are looking. We see each once or twice a month. We text everyday and FaceTime, but now all of s...

A.   18 January 2017: I think the "novelty" of chatting daily over Facetime has worn off for your husband. You two are now married so he feels the pressure to constantly be in contact should be lowered. And I think he is feeling smothered by you. It seems a bit clin... (read in full...)

Is he using me? He's spending more time with his ex than he spends with me.

Q.   I'm going out with this bloke on and off for over a year now, but what gets to me is he spends most off his time at his ex's house. He says he's there for kids but half of the time the children are not there. He leaves at 8:00 in morning and ...

A.   18 January 2017: I too think YOU need to prepare yourself the be a single mom. Why on Earth you would procreate with this fella is kind of beyond me. Why? Well, it's NOT a stable relationship - you said so yourself. It's on/off. It's only been a year. Secon... (read in full...)

My girlfriend told me that I have 'dry 10 second sex'!

Q.   My girlfriend told me that I have "Dry 10 second sex" and I took it as a insult because to me it felt like she was saying that she doesn't enjoy my sex anymore. I told her how I felt and tried to move past it but I just couldn't it makes me feel ...

A.   18 January 2017: Thanks to your update and the older posts of yours... I think you need to just end it. You are not happy, she isn't happy - let it go and move on. ... (read in full...)

Family issues. What should I do? Apologise and stick to my plans? Or cancel my holiday?

Q.   I have, it seems, caused an enormous family rift. I booked a holiday for 2 weeks at the start of February - it had been booked a while but I told family over Christmas what my plans were. This is the first holiday I have had in 7 years so it means...

A.   18 January 2017: This is a hard one. Personally, I would do whatever I could to move the holiday and spend that day with your folks, you NEVER know when they aren't there anymore. Booking a vacation, I understand, is a GREAT thing for you and it seems like yo... (read in full...)

My girlfriend told me that I have 'dry 10 second sex'!

Q.   My girlfriend told me that I have "Dry 10 second sex" and I took it as a insult because to me it felt like she was saying that she doesn't enjoy my sex anymore. I told her how I felt and tried to move past it but I just couldn't it makes me feel ...

A.   18 January 2017: Is there any truth to what she said? That sex is over way too fast and she is left wanting more? You may not have had that problem with any exes because (my guess) they were young and inexperienced so didn't "complain" or point out that sex was... (read in full...)

I live at home and my Mum won't let me clean it up, its a biohazard mess!

Q.   It's a long story, but I got laid off from my job last year and I live at home with my mom. I feel like I've failed at life and this wasn't how I thought I would turn out, but this is just background information. What's going on is that I'm ...

A.   18 January 2017: I too agree with Ruby, You both have a type of OCD but unfortunately, hers and yours work against each other. You like things neat and clean (I get you!) and she likes to keep STUFF. IF you are back working, I'd look to moving out asap. For yo... (read in full...)

Should I continue dating someone who's 15 years older than me?

Q.   Hey guys, My question is should I continue to pursue a relationship with someone who's 15 years older than me? Okay so I am 21 next month , my boyfriend is 35. I did not know he was 35 when we first met because he told me he was 26. He said he k...

A.   18 January 2017: First of all, you don't know for sure that you family would not approve. Who knows? Second, of all, I REALLY agree with Garbo's statement... "He already lied to you, you forgave... that will become a pattern " I get that you BOTH try and jus... (read in full...)

Any opinions as to whether she is into me?

Q.   There is a young girl who I come across frequently as she works near me and I am of the understanding she is straight. I think she has a boyfriend but I am gay with a girlfriend. I am just curious as to whether she is into me or not. She remembe...

A.   18 January 2017: She might have some social anxieties or just be socially awkward - doesn't mean she is sexually attracted to you. My guess is, you LET her be wacky and panicky around you without seemingly judging her, THUS she remembers you face and you name and... (read in full...)

I’m angry with his mom and his sister and have reached a breaking point. I need input!

Q.   Hello everyone, This is a long so please bear with me. I live with my boyfriend and his sister. Some background info: his sister is the youngest. She is a bit spoiled by her parents and doesn't have friends for various reasons. She's a princes...

A.   18 January 2017: Firat of all TALK this over with your BF first. United Front and all.... I agree that it probably WAS a misunderstanding or miscommunication going on here. I have house and "pet-sat" many times in my late teens and 20's for my brother and ... (read in full...)

I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?

Q.   My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...

A.   17 January 2017: Has he cheated on you before? Does he ogle other women? Does he make inappropriate comments about other women? If you can say no to all the above, the BEST thing you can do for HIM (and for yourself) is to trust that he KNOWS how to beh... (read in full...)

He says my body is his.

Q.   My partner of 3 yrs and i have a beautiful little girl who is 1. Lately my partner has been trying touching me and trying to penetrate me whilst we are playing with our daughter which i have put a stop to. He has started sayimg he can touch me ...

A.   17 January 2017: Gross! Your BF is gross. YOUR body is yours and NO he doesn't have a "right" to touch you whenever he wants. I agree with SVC, I'd look for an exit strategy as well. This is not NORMAL. This is not something I'd put up it. Sounds to me tha... (read in full...)

Where's a good place to meet people my age? Any groups or sites you think might suit, and why?

Q.   I moved city recently and I'm struggling to know people outside work so I joined loads of groups on meeting people sites. But loads of them (no I didnt join dating ones) are full of thirsty older guys, and it's really uncomfortable being at thes...

A.   17 January 2017: Ah, thirsty older guy?! lol Yeah, I don't blame you there. I agree with IvyBlue, A college bar would probably provide you with a bunch of people your age (and of course some thirsty older folks too). If you are into sports, hiking, photogra... (read in full...)

What was my colleague's intention?

Q.   Hi there, Looking for advice on how to handle this situation with a colleague at work. I'll start by saying I'm not usually one to assume that everyone is flirting with me or attracted to me. There is a relatively new man at work in quite a high u...

A.   17 January 2017: Yep, I'm with N91 Doesn't matter WHAT his intentions were, you have a BF and therefore it's irrelevant. My advice if you find yourself in another situation like this feel FREE to bring up your BF. Like if a male co-worker asks you out for drin... (read in full...)

If I am talking online to a guy, just talking as friends, with nothing sexual said, BUT is it cheating for me to do this?

Q.   Sometimes I talk to someone on Skype (just text never camera or voice), I came across them on Tumblr and we became friends. He is a guy and we mostly talk about random things, never anything sexual. He knows I have a boyfriend and to be honest h...

A.   16 January 2017: If it's something you haven't told your BF or wouldn't DO in front of him - then yeah I think it's a "kind" of cheating. Even if it's not sexual, it's strictly platonic - if it's OH SO innocent why doesn't' your BF know? I play online MMO's an... (read in full...)

Can two cheaters make a relationship work?

Q.   I was in a serious relationship with a guy (it was long distance where we had to fly an hour to see each other). Then one day, I find out he had been texting this other girl 10 hours a day, and they were seeing each other for 3 hours a day for ...

A.   16 January 2017: I agree with BrownWolf, STOP CARING! YOU found out that your ex-bf was a cheating douche and you ended it. He then started seeing the person he cheated on you with. SO what? YOU took the garbage out and SHE picked it up. Whether or not ... (read in full...)

I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?

Q.   My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...

A.   16 January 2017: I agree with Cindy. While sex WILL PROBABLY be offered to him, the CHOICE is his. The choice to say no, thank or yes. And the ramifications are HIS as well. IF he gets caught with a prostitute it will COST him an arm and a leg or jail time. An... (read in full...)

He ignores me. Feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Is there any hope for this troubled relationship? What should I do?

Q.   What should I do about this relationship?. I will just tell you what happened recently. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year. There have been a lot of times where we have argued. He has a very short fuse. I feel like I am walking on eg...

A.   16 January 2017: This is a guy who is in his 30's or in his teens? I have, to be honest with you and say that making blanket statements that he MUST be cheating when he doesn't give you the time of day is NOT help in a relationship. That is how you make someone ... (read in full...)

Do I stay with this guy or do I leave?

Q.   Hi. I am needing advice. When I was 18/19 I got engaged to my ex, we were together almost three years. I was 21 when we split. I met my current partner within three months of my ex and I splitting up (my ex cheated and got engaged to s...

A.   16 January 2017: Work out a payment plan for the money you lent your BF. DO it now BEFORE you two break up. Seriously. Then you sit down and figure out WHAT do I want. Make a list if that help. Where do you want to travel? For how long? How much would that ... (read in full...)

I feel like my boyfriend isn't really committed to me!

Q.   Hi, I'm just looking for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I'm really unhappy. I feel like he isn't really committed to me, I'll give you some examples. He's messaged other girls behind my back and admitted he l...

A.   16 January 2017: Now that you wrote it all down did you realize that you don't need our "permission" to dump him? IT IS a ridiculous excuse that his dad didn't take his mom out so now he doesn't do squat with you, utter bullcrap and YOU know it. TAKE him up o... (read in full...)

Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?

Q.   I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...

A.   16 January 2017: I'm sorry OP, but you sounds like a crazy needy person. HE IS ON VACATION with his family! Do I need to repeat any of that? When we moved from the US to Germany (hubby got relocated) I went home to see my family with my oldest while he got to ... (read in full...)

He says I mean everything to him so why don't his actions show that?

Q.   Hi all!! In need of advice and I turn to you. Ive been with my guy for a few years. And he messed up HARDCORE a cpl years ago lying, cheating and hiding things. He got busted by being sloppy. And all that he did seriously messed my up in the head, ...

A.   15 January 2017: First of all, may I suggest you have these talks about this without any kids present. You daughter might have been in the backseat, but kids are smart and they remember stuff, and they don't NEED to be dragged into this. He cheated and you CHOS... (read in full...)

I think I am pregnant and the dad has disappeared.

Q.   Well. I met a guy months ago. We went out 3 times. At the 2nd one we had sex. I was the one who brought the sexual topic to the conversation. After sex we had sex once more. And the condom didn't work. I think I'm probably pregnant. He started ...

A.   15 January 2017: Well, SINCE heh has taken himself out of the equation, YOU need to decide FOR yourself what you want to do. I would suggest you talk to your mom/dad - some trusted adult and work out what the next step will be. YOU CAN NOT rely on him, now you ... (read in full...)

He is still under her thumb. What can I do?

Q.   Hello, I am slightly put off and rather upset at the moment. I live in a small town with my boyfriend of almost six years, and he... Well he is always dragging me over to his ex's place, making me spend the night, doing all her "to do" lists, and ...

A.   15 January 2017: He keeps doing it because you put up with it. Why on Earth are you still WITH this guy? He isn't over the ex and is at her beck and call even after 6 YEARS with you?! He is not going to change or he would have already. You are waiting for him ... (read in full...)

What was my colleague's intention?

Q.   Hi there, Looking for advice on how to handle this situation with a colleague at work. I'll start by saying I'm not usually one to assume that everyone is flirting with me or attracted to me. There is a relatively new man at work in quite a high u...

A.   15 January 2017: I agree with N91 I think he realized you weren't interested and that you were just being friendly, so he did a "preemptive" rejection. I'd just keep the one-on-one to a minimum and not go out for drinks. Also, I would have mentioned my ... (read in full...)

Am I reading this situation right, or am I over reacting?

Q.   Please help me understand if I'm overreacting. Here is some backgrounds, I'm 40, divorced, have a kid and started dating online.I don't like to date few people at once so I focused on the first guy that I started talking to. He is 42 single, highly ...

A.   15 January 2017: I agree with him that it's NOT fair that you judge him based on past experiences. However, if your EXPERIENCE is that when someone cancels it's because YOU are not a priority, then THAT is how it makes you feel. In short, don't drag out what the... (read in full...)

I think I am pregnant and the dad has disappeared.

Q.   Well. I met a guy months ago. We went out 3 times. At the 2nd one we had sex. I was the one who brought the sexual topic to the conversation. After sex we had sex once more. And the condom didn't work. I think I'm probably pregnant. He started ...

A.   15 January 2017: First off, get a pregnancy test. You can't make choices based on "thinking" you are pregnant. And if a condom doesn't "work, don't have sex. (I don't even understand how a condom is not "working"... It's basically a sock for the penis - not much... (read in full...)

What can do, I am still learning how to negotiate conflict in a relatonship.

Q.   My relationship recently ended with my girlfriend of nearly a year. There was a falling out at my uncle's wedding where my girlfriend was heavily intoxicated and left the dinner table to vent to a bartender about things she did not like about my ...

A.   15 January 2017:  OP, it's NOT your job to "make" your GF behave or "control" HER actions. So her Mom is utterly wrong, but my guess is she doesn't want to admit that her daughter is lacking in manners and respectful behavior. I absolutely understand why your par... (read in full...)

Entitled Flatmate Won't Pull His Weight - What Should We Do?

Q.   Moved in recently, I replaced another guy who lives here so didn't know the flatmates that well. The day I move in, the girl who lives here tells me that she hates the other guy, that he won't pull his weight in the flat, left a stain she ended ...

A.   14 January 2017: 1. If you don't WANT to knock on his door after being done on the potty, DON'T. I would give a flying fart if he WANTS you too. It's up to you. 2. IF the CHORE he has (topping off the electricity meter) doesn't get done, CHANGE his chore. Talk ... (read in full...)

People changing their minds about crushing on you years later...

Q.   When someone turns you down romantically or makes no time for your friendship, then years later they see you again. Suddenly, like nothing has happened they are all over you, and suddenly attracted you. Do you give them a chance or leave them? ...

A.   14 January 2017: I'd NOT get into anything romantic with this person. Seems to me like they have popped up because they aren't finding what they were looking for so they go through the "little black book" of past people who are decent folks and who showed interest ... (read in full...)

Should I just quit the job I hate?

Q.   I have been working for the same company as a CNA for 5 years and I absolutely hate my job. I went back to school for dietary aide and I just got a offer in different facility to work in the kitchen.I went for training and I must say I like the job ...

A.   14 January 2017: (Denizen, I think OP means CNA = Certified Nurse Aide) If you got a job offer for a job you RATHER do, then I'd say go for it. If you get more hours and or more pay. There is no need to go backward on either really. I wouldn't quit a job ... (read in full...)

I'm so in love with him but I don't even think I know who he is!

Q.   So ive been with my boyfriend a year and 2 months now. I recently found out he was lying about having a Facebook, I never cared he had one in the first place because I trusted him. So I'm on my moms Facebook and I see he still had it when he told me ...

A.   14 January 2017: You know he will lie RIGHT to your face. So you have NO idea whether he has met up and done whatever with random strangers sexually. You might never know. So off YOU go get an STD panel done ASAP And IF this looking for sex on FB is a deal-bre... (read in full...)

I text my bf on an alias phone pretending to be an admirer. And he fell for it.

Q.   After forgiving my cheating bf who got me and another woman pregnant 5 yrs ago, i forgave him and we are now back together for the past year. i put up with him going to spend time with his son at the other woman's house of which sometime he sleeps ...

A.   14 January 2017: Well, this is what happens when people play games. It's like listening at keyholes and you hear someone talk about you... It may not BE the outcome you had expected or hoped for... The GOOD thing about all this drama? You now know that he is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend messaged another girl on OkCupid. Was this just a momentary lapse in judgment or should I be worried?

Q.   Ok so here goes.... I need advice you guys I'm at a lost with what to do. I (F/26) met my boyfriend (M/36) this past June. When we met I was dating my ex of five years. I broke up with him and two weeks later started dating this new guy I'll cal...

A.   14 January 2017: He said WHAT? It's ALL your fault that he got online and messaged another woman? That is the MOST ridiculous excuse I have ever hurt. I can't really see how calling HIM the "breadwinner" (because let's face it for now HE is) gives him a free... (read in full...)

His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?

Q.   How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...

A.   14 January 2017: Aww, I actually LOVE CodeWarrior's advice. You said yes, even if you felt is wasn't how you saw yourself being proposed to. So I get what Codewarrior said, he can't RECAPTURE that moment and neither can you, so make the best of it? It kind of ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has been secretive about his female friend in the past and now she's invited herself to stay with him for a week. How do I handle this?

Q.   I [21F] am in a relationship with my boyfriend [24M] (Mike, for future reference) for a year and a half, but our problem started about 6 months in. We met on the university both studying physics so it was easy for me to become a part of his college ...

A.   14 January 2017: I would NOT give him an ultimatum. I'd be OK with her visiting. Basically, I'd give him the rope to hang himself. Either she IS JUST a friend and her visit it totally platonic or there is more going on than HE is letting on. So for you to say NO, ... (read in full...)

I am worried about letting my daughter's father back into her life.

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm a single mum to my beautiful 8 year old daughter and I have struggled in the past but I have always got by. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant with her, and at the insistence of her dad, I went through with the pregnanc...

A.   14 January 2017: I would ask HER (she is 8 so old enough to have an idea if she wants to met him and spend time with him). I wouldn't tell her anything bad about him as he probably was JUST as immature as you were when you had the kids, YOU just rose to the ... (read in full...)

My LDR boyfriend hasn't wanted to video chat. Does it mean that he does not miss me?

Q.   So far in my LDR, I have been the one to mostly initiate video calls, though we text throughout the day. I have asked for more vid chats, shorter times, but I usually have to ask for vid chat. It wears on me that I usually have to always hint/ask....

A.   14 January 2017: You need to ask him. To me, it makes no sense to not want to either set up a day of the week - a sort of Skype night (or Facetime). BUT to actually TAKE the time to video chat might not work so well for him. Do you two CALL and talk? I think... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says I can't leave him because he's planned the next 5 years around me!

Q.   Have I fallen out of love with him or am i just depressed? Recently i can't bring myself to say i love you to my boyfriend. We have been friends for 3 years and have dated since last May. In October i felt the same way as i do now just feeling dow...

A.   14 January 2017: Honey, YOU can leave him REGARDLESS of what plans HE has made in his head. Nothing is carved in stone that says you OWE staying with him if you feel the relationship is OVER. If I told you that you should give me $500 because I had planned ... (read in full...)

I found a dildo in my boyfriend's closet!

Q.   I'm a 47 year old woman that found a dildo in my boyfriend's closet! We've been dating 2 year's and only see each other on the weekends,but talk every night. He has two kids,so he's home with them every night. He isn't vocal about what he wants in ...

A.   14 January 2017: It could be HIS dildo. He might get off on having his prostate rubbed. Doesn't mean he is into guys but that it's something he enjoys but having brought up in conversation about sex, YET. It might not come up at all. It might be his "thing".... (read in full...)

Why guys appear to disappear?

Q.   I was talking to this guy for 9 months. We argued after and hurt his feelings. He did not forgive me. Then i gave it a time. I did not text him for a while. All of a sudden, he texted me as if nothing happens for 2 weeks. He lives in San Diego an...

A.   14 January 2017: How do you move on? Well, however you can? If you were ready to let him go when he dropped you LAST time, you can do it again. It might not be super easy, but really why give him this "power" to pop in and out of your life and feelings as he pleas... (read in full...)

Why guys appear to disappear?

Q.   I was talking to this guy for 9 months. We argued after and hurt his feelings. He did not forgive me. Then i gave it a time. I did not text him for a while. All of a sudden, he texted me as if nothing happens for 2 weeks. He lives in San Diego an...

A.   13 January 2017: You might never know. That is the annoying thing about someone "ghosting" you. I think the people who use "ghosting" are either afraid to hurt the other person's feelings by telling them that "this is not going to work out" OR they are just not... (read in full...)

Why guys appear to disappear?

Q.   I was talking to this guy for 9 months. We argued after and hurt his feelings. He did not forgive me. Then i gave it a time. I did not text him for a while. All of a sudden, he texted me as if nothing happens for 2 weeks. He lives in San Diego an...

A.   13 January 2017: I can be he wanted to HURT you back. Some people ARE that petty. That's a fact. It can also be he is a flake, a total flake. And while he "claimed" he wanted a relationship.... he didn't try and met up with you in those first 9 months, did he? ... (read in full...)

His way of proposing really shocked me. Am I right to feel it was disappointing?

Q.   How do I get past being disappointed by my finance's wedding proposal? So I recently turned 30 and my boyfriend couldn't get the day off from work so we celebrated the day before he took me out for dinner and drinks and we stayed out till gone mid...

A.   10 January 2017: I think you should tell him that you were disappointed that he proposed like a 1st grader on the playground. My guess is he thought he was making a unique proposal and if he did it this way you couldn't tell him no or I don't know, at least no... (read in full...)

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