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*oneypie

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Not sure if 'No' means no for good

Q.   Asked a female out for a drink from the office of where I work and she said she would get back to me. And she did, unfortunately it wasn't good news. It was a rejection reply. I absolutely hate them. Anyway she explained she wasn't able to see me ...

A.   25 June 2016: So if you know for a fact that she lied.... then you should also know NOT to waste any more time or energy on her. My guess is, she said she would get back to you, because she wasn't sure HOW to reject you in the "nicest" way possible. Maybe sh... (read in full...)

Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?

Q.   I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...

A.   25 June 2016: You tried small talk (what are you doing over the week-end) and she reminded you that she had already told you... OK so maybe you weren't paying full attention.. so what? It happens. All you can do in those situations is say; "oh yes you are righ... (read in full...)

She rejected my invitation. I still want to be friends. How do I keep things light when I see her again?

Q.   Hello agony aunts So this week I asked a female friend of mine if she wanted to meet for a coffee sometime and I mentioned we don't get opportunities to talk at work with our different schedules. Which is true as we don't do, anyway to cut ...

A.   25 June 2016: You should PRETEND like you have moved on from the little faux-pas - just say hi and how are you? small talk as normal. YOU have nothing to "sort" out. And you can still be "friendly" with her, as long as you can respect that she rejected you... (read in full...)

Four months into the relationship, so why is he choosing to sleep in a different bed to me?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm dating a guy younger than me for past 4 months. We hang around in his place during weekend. It's the second time I find him sleeping in living room because he says he steal his blanket and he can't sleep or I turn around a lot. ...

A.   25 June 2016: I agree with Cindy, it's not WHERE he sleeps that should bother you, it's the rest you mention. Getting annoyed when you ask him stuff, gets constantly defensive, doesn't seem to put a whole lot of effort into communication, doesn't seem willing ... (read in full...)

Why do some young women go out to night clubs dressed they way they do?

Q.   Why do the women at the night clubs dress like s^^ts?? So I'm talking here about women who wear clothes with plunging cleavages, booster bras, short skirts and the like. We went to a club last weekend and there were many women barely dressed. ...

A.   25 June 2016: Maybe it makes THEM feel good? Maybe they are SO full or confidence that they KNOW they can rock a tiny outfit? Or they want other to think that? Maybe it's part of their "sub-culture"? (think Jersey shores) Maybe it gives them a sense of "f... (read in full...)

He's accusing me of not locking the door. Why would he become be so accusatory towards me??

Q.   I just moved into an apartment with a room-mate. And there's been a situation that I would like your opinion on: My room-mate came home after being gone for a week, and discovers some boxes for him on his bed, that he ordered. So he asks me if I ...

A.   25 June 2016: Definitely time to look elsewhere for a room/place to live. Who the HAY HAY thinks a delivery service will get out a ladder and put packages through an open window? And how would they know which bedroom is his? It's preposterous and... (read in full...)

Will a man in a sexless, long term marriage eventually have sex with another woman?

Q.   I have a question and I am curious about what the opinions are out there. If a man is in a long term relationship or marriage and his wife was no longer willing to have sex (ie. she never did like it to begin with, she no longer likes it) with h...

A.   25 June 2016: I think it depends on the couple, the marriage and how they can find other ways to be intimate. I also think it comes down to their level of communication. Do I think a marriage without sex can work? Yes, but I think it's rare. ... (read in full...)

Before I met her she had sex with my cousin. How do I get over this fact?

Q.   I met this girl months ago and we've been dating since them, i'm really trying to forget and avoid jealousy but it's not easy! The fact the i have sex with the same girl my cousin had bothers me too much! I think about breaking up but i love her...

A.   25 June 2016: I think you should end it before you two get into deep. You can't seem to accept the fact that she HAS a past and that IN her past she was with your cousin. SO what? Is it because he is family that it bothers you or would that be ANY guy she has ... (read in full...)

Is it Okay to ghost in this situation? I feel that he's lost interest in me.

Q.   I've been dating someone for three months now. The first two months were great, he was very affectionate and planned thoughtful dates (as did I). He reached out daily and I reciprocated. We met twice a week. However this month he's been busy w...

A.   25 June 2016: If YOU are no longer interested in him, text or call to tell him. Ghosting is "easy" but also so not classy in my book. It's such a cowardice way to end things. If you ARE still interested but your imagination are reading a little too much bet... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a fat fetish and wants me to gain more weight! I've already gained 100!

Q.   I met my bf almost a year and a half ago and we imediately hit it off great. Then I weighed about 150lbs. The first 4 months were great and he was so caring and attentive always surprising me with my favorite snacks or ice cream and taking me out to ...

A.   24 June 2016: I'm fully with YouWish. He may have a fat fetish, but it's about control. CONTROL over you. CONTROL over your body. Don't ruin your health like this to please a guy. Losing over 100 lbs in a few months? VERY VERY unhealthy. Gaining weight f... (read in full...)

I probably shouldn't take him back. Is what I did to him worse than what he did to me?

Q.   I was involved with my ex-boyfriend for many years we are friends first so I've known him a really long time. We know each other very very well. He had some substance abuse issues and during that time cheated on me multiple occasions. When I fi...

A.   24 June 2016: Take back your power. Not just about this guy but ANY man you date. HAVE standards, boundaries and deal-breakers and STICK to them. If you don't want to be with a cheater... then END it the FIRST time you find out he cheated, don't keep on "forg... (read in full...)

I probably shouldn't take him back. Is what I did to him worse than what he did to me?

Q.   I was involved with my ex-boyfriend for many years we are friends first so I've known him a really long time. We know each other very very well. He had some substance abuse issues and during that time cheated on me multiple occasions. When I fi...

A.   24 June 2016: I have to agree with SVC Don't take him back. You two have a negative influence on each other, what he did to you was detrimental to the relationship and something that YOU can't fix. You couldn't trust him then, you can't trust him now. He cheat... (read in full...)

Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?

Q.   I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...

A.   24 June 2016: I wouldn't ask her out again, unless you want to be rejected again. While her reaction was polite, it was also pretty much a no, thanks I don't want to go out with you. A no means no. In any form. She isn't interested in you in that way. If ... (read in full...)

What's your opinion of age gaps? Does he really like me? Or does he have a different motive?

Q.   Okay so first.. What's your opinion on age gaps?? What's to big of an age gap? There is a guy at my work ( I work in a factory) who works second shift while I work first. He is 12 years older than I am. When I very first started working there he...

A.   24 June 2016: Ewww I get such a high creep factor from your post (about him). Sorry, I don't find him cute or charming either. I agree with the uncle and the aunties he is a VERY immature 32 year old. I think he is hoping to "bag" a young girl (you) and n... (read in full...)

Does he feel rejected? I'd like to know, how can this be fixed?

Q.   I have a weird situation and need opinions please.. Talked to this guy online, Skype, phone for three years(I know I know "you never met him")... But it was budding pen pals to friends to romantic interest. There was a possibility of s...

A.   24 June 2016: I think this is more than just "bad planning". He expected you to ask how high when he said jump. And he got mad when you didn't. Absolutely unfair. You don't mention the country, but most people would NOT feel super confident driving 3 hours by ... (read in full...)

How can I fit in with new work colleagues? Some are not very nice

Q.   Some of our departments have merged at work, whats a good way to get along with new colleagues? Edit None of us new to the workplace but 1/3 of us ( maybe 13 of us) have moved to new much bigger a...

A.   24 June 2016: Stick to being you, being polite, professional and nice to everyone regardless of their age and "cliquishness factor" and I think you will be fine. I agree with Aunty BimBim it's a bat bad on the HR/management dept. that they didn't have a few "g... (read in full...)

Is rejection good or bad? How does one accept and deal with rejection?

Q.   I asked a female who is beautiful from work on social media if she fancied meeting me for a coffee to get to know me better. This was today, we are good friends on social media, and I decided the time was right to ask her and to seize the day. And...

A.   24 June 2016: Nothing wrong in trying. Rejections always sucks, but don't let it hold you back in the future.... just MAYBE consider looking for women to date OUTSIDE of the workplace. I feels it's just more professional that way, and less awkward when it doesn... (read in full...)

I like him , how can I show him this ?

Q.   Hey everyone , Theres a guy i like and want to have a relationship with him . How can i let him know this without coming across desperate ? ive messaged him last night asking how he is , no reply as yet but i dont expect him to drop everything to ...

A.   23 June 2016: I agree, that no reply is not a great sign. And NO do NOT tell him "I like you and if you don't like me it's all good..." no no no... That is what a 5th grader would do. Instead when (if) he replies and the reply is longer than 3 words, ask him... (read in full...)

We agreed to remain friends but I haven't heard from him!

Q.   A guy i was seeing for 5 months ended things with me a couple of months ago. From my persepctive everything was going well and had been fine between us leading up to him ending things so it really upset me as it was totally unexpected. When he ended ...

A.   23 June 2016: His offer of "friendship" was empty, I think it was to make the break up less "harsh. As for the closure... There really is no closure HE can give you, that he hasn't already done. Maybe not in words but his actions speaks pretty loud. The rela... (read in full...)

I am low on his list of priorities!

Q.   I feel like my boyfriend does not have time for me anymore an am not sure of what to do! Basically there is a culture clash and his parents want him to have an arranged marriages which he has refused to do as he is with me But I feel like everyt...

A.   22 June 2016:  I think, and I don't mean that in a frivolous sense, that you are wasting your time with him. YOU are his excuse to NOT marry whom the family wants him to marry... for now. But he hasn't fully committed to you either, because he knows his fa... (read in full...)

How do I tell my husband nicely that due our circumstances its not a good idea to have his kids at our home?

Q.   My husband wants to get his kids (16 boy,13 girl, and 8boy)today but we both work from 6am-6pm M-F. There was no date given when they will be going back home (mothers house), last visit they stayed 3wks. We are having some financial issues right now ...

A.   22 June 2016: Glad you got it sorted out. And I would suggest your husband works out a visitation schedule that works for ALL of you. (the mom, you and himself).... (read in full...)

Why does he give gifts to ex's kids but plays the "gift game" with me?

Q.   Hello my bf and I have been together for two years. He's had a close relationship with his ex during this time. Texting, emailing, calling, and seeing her. He's also very close to her daughters. He attends their games, buys them gifts and keeps ...

A.   22 June 2016: Doesn't matter if his ex's kids are his or not, he obviously bonded with them and care for them even if he is no longer dating their mom. NOTHING wrong in that. My husband raised his ex's 2 daughter because their father was not in contact other th... (read in full...)

I have lost a lot of friends due to jealousy. Why are girls so jealous?

Q.   I have lost a lot of friends due to jealousy. Why are girls so jealous? I use to have a lot of girlfriends but they all seem to disappear as my life gets better. Im a very sweet girl. I'm always there for my friends when they need me. I work rea...

A.   22 June 2016: Maybe they thought YOU were giving THEM dirty look from across the room? Since you didn't approach them either. Next time IGNORE that you "think" they are giving you dirty look and go say hi, if they don't want to continue the conversation, fine - ... (read in full...)

Can a friend forget about you while they are away?

Q.   I have a friend who is abroad at the moment, she hasn't spoken to me for three to four weeks. I've not heard from her by social media and I'm beginning to lose patience. She's helping abroad and providing water to disadvantaged people and trying t...

A.   21 June 2016: And OP.... (to quote you) " I'm just going to ignore her and give her a taste of her own medicine." How is that going to make anything better? How is that going to help a friend? You don't sound like you do friendships very well if... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend saying I'm not that attractive to be hit on?

Q.   I would say I'm okay looking, when I'm done up I think I can look quite hot. Anyways I get hit on by guys on the way to work quite often, yesterday I had two guys actually approach me. One was when I was sitting on the bench and the guy said, can I ...

A.   21 June 2016: Well, now you know... he can't handle it. Some times we earn little idiosyncrasies about our partners, some which are more or less attractive. ... (read in full...)

What does he mean by barricades?

Q.   What did he mean when he said that men and women protect themselves by using barricades? What kind of barricades is he referring too? ...

A.   21 June 2016: He is talking "walls" - emotional walls. Some people choose to build "walls" around their emotions and themselves because they think it can prevent them from ever getting hurt again. Others do this in the beginning of a relationship bec... (read in full...)

How do I tell my husband nicely that due our circumstances its not a good idea to have his kids at our home?

Q.   My husband wants to get his kids (16 boy,13 girl, and 8boy)today but we both work from 6am-6pm M-F. There was no date given when they will be going back home (mothers house), last visit they stayed 3wks. We are having some financial issues right now ...

A.   21 June 2016: I would sit him down and mention the financial side of things. I would also bring up who is going to take care of them during the day? The 16 year old? After that I would make HIM make a plan for the week-end when he WANTS to have his kids and then ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend saying I'm not that attractive to be hit on?

Q.   I would say I'm okay looking, when I'm done up I think I can look quite hot. Anyways I get hit on by guys on the way to work quite often, yesterday I had two guys actually approach me. One was when I was sitting on the bench and the guy said, can I ...

A.   21 June 2016: Oh I think he was trying to take you down a peg. He probably don't like that guys are hitting on you when he is not around (not sure if he does when he IS around you). Or he simply thought you were mentioning these guys hitting on you to "inflate ... (read in full...)

I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...

A.   21 June 2016: No, Chi I don't think of porn blow job.. I don't even WATCH porn. I speak from experience. I had an ex who DID (I think) watch too much porn as he loved to grab hair and push it in further than what I wanted. It only happened one time, because ... (read in full...)

We kiss but don't make up

Q.   I have an ex. We broke up cause a simple reason six months ago. But until now, he still ask me to meet him. Not just a simple meeting, but we do more than it. He asked to kiss me. I don't know what he really felt about me. I still love him and I ...

A.   21 June 2016: He wants to continue to USE you. He doesn't want you back, he doesn't want all the work that comes with dating you, but he wants the "benefits" of having a GF. My advice? Whether you want him back or not - it's the same. You tell him: " I still re... (read in full...)

Can you please advise what to do? My lesbian partner has been exchanging explicit messages on line with a man

Q.   I found explicit emails between my lesbian partner and a man on craigslist. I found some printed copies of her replies to a mans advert on craigslist. The man wanted to meet her for fun in exchange for money. My partner always brags about being ...

A.   21 June 2016: I means she is full of crap. She saved his number for a reason. Personally, if MY partner did this? I'd walk away. Yes, she hasn't physically cheated, but what she is doing is NOT OK in most relationships. And seriously? What kind of ... (read in full...)

Help! What can I say? I'm a gay female being set up at work ! I'm scared and unsure what to do.

Q.   Im a single GAY female over 40 and today at work as I walked in tea room I overheard her talking to another manager about setting me up with a 26 yr old asian guy who used to work with us and who likes me! And how I am " over 40" The other mana...

A.   21 June 2016: Go talk to your boss when she is by herself, like in her office - ask her if she has a minute. Then tell her in the nicest way that you would like her to stop trying to set you up with other co-workers or anyone in general. Tell her:" thanks for ... (read in full...)

What can I do? Don't want it rubbed in my face. But she says I'm offloading my insecurities by being upset with her

Q.   My friend upset me again talking about interacting with another man who she has a past with... I've covered with her in the past that she's to have as much fun as she can with whomever she feels like regardless that I'm mad about her. We have f...

A.   21 June 2016: What does being a companion mean between you two? You call her "my friend", and mention you have fooled around in the past, that you are NOT a couple and NOT dating.. So I have to agree with her, this IS about YOUR insecurities. My guess is y... (read in full...)

Should I feel guilty? I told every one he has a "needle dick" after he was playing games with me!

Q.   Should I feel guilty? Hi I'm Ellie and I'm seventeen years old. In a nutshell, I had this boyfriend we had a thing since september, so about 8 months. I met him when I moved schools for sixth form and we had chemistry right away. In Febuary I fou...

A.   21 June 2016: Amen to YouWish's advice. Take it to heart and IGNORE him, BLOCK him and DELETE him from as much of your life as you can. And remember 2 wrongs never make a right. EVER. Apologizing is not going to fix a thing. Talking to him is not go... (read in full...)

I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...

A.   21 June 2016: I doubt it Chi... People with a fine gag reflex have a hard time with it. People who have a partner that likes to "push" the girl's head or his penis may not enjoy it either. I don't mind oral, but it definitely something I have done for my... (read in full...)

Can a friend forget about you while they are away?

Q.   I have a friend who is abroad at the moment, she hasn't spoken to me for three to four weeks. I've not heard from her by social media and I'm beginning to lose patience. She's helping abroad and providing water to disadvantaged people and trying t...

A.   21 June 2016:  To quote Elisabeth Foley "The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that they can grow separately without growing apart." ------------------------------------ You are expecting her to KNOW what rules YOU "play" by, and that SHE ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my LDR guy and get him to understand that this level of contact is not enough?

Q.   Hi everyone, thanks for reading! Im not sure how to approach this - i basically need to talk to my boyfriend about being more in contact. We are doing a long distance relationship at the moment and everything was fine (we were skyping a few t...

A.   20 June 2016: I don't think you are nagging by telling him you miss the contact and that it went from 100 to 0 real fast and that worries you a bit. That you feel he isn't putting in as much effort as he used to. IF you think you would lose him by bringing... (read in full...)

Why would he take my number?

Q.   I gave my number to guy that I liked for a while now and told him to text me sometime..He said sure but when I saw him the next day, he made up some bs about how he broke his phone amd lost my number. I took that as polite brush off and decide to ...

A.   20 June 2016: Don't feel foolish, you didn't know he had a new GF. You made a move and it wasn't a "win". It happens. He probably didn't want to say:" no thanks I don't want/need your number". He didn't want to hurt your feelings is my guess... so it was easi... (read in full...)

Can they really expect more hours without overtime pay?

Q.   Hello, I moved to the US few months ago and I'm working in financie field and have an exempt full time position. I was hired for 40 hours work per week but my supervisor stating that we all must put some extra hours every week. I do come early ...

A.   20 June 2016: Look at your contract. If that doesn't clearly state it, contact HR. But no, I don't think they CAN make you work extra hours for "free". ... (read in full...)

Can a friend forget about you while they are away?

Q.   I have a friend who is abroad at the moment, she hasn't spoken to me for three to four weeks. I've not heard from her by social media and I'm beginning to lose patience. She's helping abroad and providing water to disadvantaged people and trying t...

A.   20 June 2016: She isn't going to "forget" you, but she might just be VERY busy with her volunteer work and making new friends and acquaintances - which... is quite normal. You are still back where you are with less new things to adapt too, explore and learn. S... (read in full...)

I want to marry my g/f but she won't do oral sex and its important to me

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years and she wont blow me. I go down on her and tell her alot how much id like one. She says she might one day but thinks itsgross and awkward. I want to marry her one day but this is important to me. What ...

A.   20 June 2016: So in exchange for a ring on her finger you think she should start to do oral? Some people just don't like certain sex acts. I for instance don't even want to TRY anal because it's just doesn't appeal to me. My husband has always been fine wit... (read in full...)

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