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Why would a woman agree to be a married man's side chicK?

Q.   Why would a woman agree to be a man's side chick, knowing that he has a girlfriend / wife? She knows that he can't spend major holidays with her, no birthday celebrations, no introduction to his family or friends. He can only talk to her and be w...

A.   24 February 2018: You know I have often wondered at that. I think in many cases it is "easier" (per se) to be a mistress than a wife or GF. You don't have budgets, chores, kids recitals, etc. to argue about. The time you spend with the married person is ALL abou... (read in full...)

I can’t shake the things he told me! Am I being unreasonable and paranoid or is he lying?

Q.   So from a very young age of around 13 I was always strongly attracted to my teacher he was a lot older than me but there was just something. Fast forward 7 years and we start speaking every day problem is he’s married. At first we talked very ...

A.   24 February 2018: Just cut off this older married guy. TOTALLY. That means block him on everything. And consider getting a new phone number so he can't get hold of you. You know that affair is wrong and won't go ANYWHERE so why waste ANY MORE time on it? Him havi... (read in full...)

Married boss claimed to love me, kissed me and has now blocked me! Should I confront him?

Q.   Ok so basically me and this guy I work with who is assistant manager and is married.. used to get on so well. I used to call him my work bestie as we just clicked and always had a laugh. Over the past couple of months I feel him getting closer t...

A.   24 February 2018: So he is a guy who takes advantage of younger (my guess) female coworkers - what a sleazy twat! You really did dodge a bullet, just DO NOT let this guy be in charge of your career. And learn from this. Keep romance out of the work place and d... (read in full...)

I feel worse after breaking up with my married lover

Q.   I finally pulled the plug and broke up with my married lover but now i feel worse. I am having an extremely hard time getting over it. It was an ugly break up and even though he begged to remain friends and promised to be the man i met in the beg...

A.   24 February 2018: You can do it! We all make mistakes in life, accept that he was one of yours. Don't waste time on regrets and people who aren't worthy of your time and affection. You can do better and will do better. Chin up and best of luck!... (read in full...)

I feel worse after breaking up with my married lover

Q.   I finally pulled the plug and broke up with my married lover but now i feel worse. I am having an extremely hard time getting over it. It was an ugly break up and even though he begged to remain friends and promised to be the man i met in the beg...

A.   23 February 2018: How do I have so much wisdom? - well, I'm older... I have a large group of friends who talk about subject (such as cheating, relationships, marriage, feelings, you name it we talk about it) I listened and I learned. I watched and I learned. Doesn... (read in full...)

My partner sleeps too much and it's irritating

Q.   My partner works evenings, and he finishes work at midnight. I'm usually still up when he gets home around 12.15 and we go to bed shortly afterwards. Now, I get up around 9am (unless I am at university for the early lecture, then we both get up at ...

A.   23 February 2018: Who says YOU can't get up and GO OUT and do things on your own? Honestly? That is what I would do. Maybe he will realize that getting up earlier means he get to DO these things with you. While I DO love to sleep in on weekends (though it rarel... (read in full...)

He said he doesn't see it working out and doesn't want to waste my time

Q.   I went on a couple dates with a really nice guy. Our chemistry was great and he's got a winning sense of humor that I just really appreciate. Everything was on track and we scheduled a third. This date wasn't awesome. I guess I was having a rough da...

A.   23 February 2018: He might still hope that you might offer something casual for a night or two. Like he said, HE is attracted to you. BUT if someone says, I don't see us working out. YOU need to listen and accept it. While I get that it's annoying when yo... (read in full...)

We've had 4 dates in 5 years

Q.   Hiya I’ve been with my partner for 5 years now we have had problems throughout the relationship due to him we hardly spend any time together. we’ve been for 2 meals and to the pictures twice in 5 years. it’s like he doesn’t want to be seen with me....

A.   23 February 2018: Do you live together? If not, WHAT are you doing wit ha guy who never wants to go out and create experiences and memories with you? You sound like you are not fulfilled in this relationship and haven't been in a long time - so again WHY stay? ... (read in full...)

I feel worse after breaking up with my married lover

Q.   I finally pulled the plug and broke up with my married lover but now i feel worse. I am having an extremely hard time getting over it. It was an ugly break up and even though he begged to remain friends and promised to be the man i met in the beg...

A.   23 February 2018: First of all, STOP "stalking" his social media. Since you made the choice to end it for good then CUT all contact that includes social media. This isn't good for you. First off, social media is NOT a reflection of reality. It's a reflecti... (read in full...)

Why does a cheater cheat and then beg his gf or wife not to leave him if she finds out?

Q.   Why does a cheater cheat on a woman he loves and then if she finds out, begs her not to leave him? Why would he even commit the worst relationship sin of all if he loved her? Seemingly he did not care enough about her not to hurt her. So, if ...

A.   23 February 2018: Why? Because HE LOVES himself more? A cheater can still LOVE someone. A wife might be familiar and give him most of what he wants and the mistress gives him other parts (or sometimes the some of the same that the wife does) and HE doesn't want to ... (read in full...)

Married boss claimed to love me, kissed me and has now blocked me! Should I confront him?

Q.   Ok so basically me and this guy I work with who is assistant manager and is married.. used to get on so well. I used to call him my work bestie as we just clicked and always had a laugh. Over the past couple of months I feel him getting closer t...

A.   23 February 2018: Well, several things could have happened. 1, his wife might have found out and told him it needs to stop or else. 2, management might have heard about it through the grape-vine and told him he needs to stop or else. This can EASILY be constr... (read in full...)

How can I stop obsessing over my colleague?

Q.   how can I stop making men my world - example - I have a bad crush on a coworker - he is taken - and I know that it will not Work - my conscious self realizes he might not be a great catch but I am really attracted to him sexually so much that my ...

A.   23 February 2018: Well, CBT/CT might help you get the tools to be IN control, not your ruminations. (Cognitive Behavior Therapy )(Cognitive therapy (CT)) You can try and google those terms and see if there are any "DIY"- or self-help books on the subject you ... (read in full...)

Am I in the wrong or not with regard to my situation?

Q.   Hi all. Im in deep need of advice to see if im in the wrong or not on my situation. Ive been with my guy for almost 6 yrs now. When I first met him, he was a drinker and a weed smoker. And thru the years he hasnt stopped either the drinking or the ...

A.   22 February 2018: Good! Thanks for the update. Even if a person is keeping their drinking to a "legal level" he still should be around a child. (of any age) Because when it comes to kids... monkey see monkey do! (I have 3 kids, so yeah I know) Don't be his ... (read in full...)

How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?

Q.   Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...

A.   22 February 2018: I think it VERY hard to distinguish between someone being VERY polite and friendly versus someone who is interested. Especially in our age group. Because WE (most of us) have learned manners and as women were RAISED to not be rude. I know ... (read in full...)

Should I stay friends with her when her partner is not a nice person?

Q.   I have a friend who is in a relationship with someone who wasn't so nice to me and this person is not a nice person at all . I never expected to become friends with her under the circumstances of how I met her but in the few years I've known her ...

A.   22 February 2018: I agree with FA You CAN still be friends with her, keep it to talking over the phone and if you meet up WITHOUT her partner around (so NOT at her place if she shares that with him/her) As for why she can BE with someone who has hurt YOU at some... (read in full...)

Am I in the wrong or not with regard to my situation?

Q.   Hi all. Im in deep need of advice to see if im in the wrong or not on my situation. Ive been with my guy for almost 6 yrs now. When I first met him, he was a drinker and a weed smoker. And thru the years he hasnt stopped either the drinking or the ...

A.   22 February 2018: Are you crazy? Yes!!! You left a DRUNK to watch your kid? An 8 year old?! What is wrong with you? You are so focused on this guy's drinking and smoking you don't even see you CHILD in all this? That is MESSED up! That aside - which to m... (read in full...)

Could this new interest of my husband mean he is bi-sexual?

Q.   My husband has recently begun enjoying anal penetration with a vibrator. He suggested that we buy a double headed dildo to try together for the first time. So, I went to the local sex shop and bought one along with lube. I just can't get over h...

A.   22 February 2018: Just wanted to add, Uncle TylerSage brings up a GREAT point... EVEN if your husband is bi, doesn't mean he is cheating or WILL cheat. Being bi just means someone is attracted to BOTH genders - NOT that they want to FUCK every guy & girl they see... (read in full...)

Ex says he wants to be friends. Why?

Q.   Long story short, my ex-boyfriend and I dated for almost a year. We broke up a week ago due to the fact that he got a job offer far away. We both kind of chose not to do long distance and that's that, he leaves in a few months. He texted me today ...

A.   22 February 2018: Why? Because he misses being WITH you. While he knows logically that a LDR isn't going to work, MAYBE you are willing to STILL give him the "GF experience" - as in hanging out, talking, socialize, maybe sex. Basically STILL sorta bf his GF until he ... (read in full...)

I'm still not over her after all these years but she has a 2 year old daughter and says she's done with dating. Should I still persevere?

Q.   So a little backstory… I've been crushing on this girl since high school and you could say I got hit hard. I never had the courage to ask her out; because it's high school she was way out of my league back then. I've put her in this pedestal...

A.   22 February 2018: Is it a bad idea to date a girl with a child? No. Not really. However is it a HUGE responsibility for her to be raising a child on her own. And what SHE needs might be something you can not give her. Putting her on a pedestal is NOT what she need... (read in full...)

Could this new interest of my husband mean he is bi-sexual?

Q.   My husband has recently begun enjoying anal penetration with a vibrator. He suggested that we buy a double headed dildo to try together for the first time. So, I went to the local sex shop and bought one along with lube. I just can't get over h...

A.   22 February 2018: Honestly? I think he has found that it gives HIM a bit extra pleasure from the insertion in his anus - as men ACTUALLY get to stimulate their prostate that way which supposedly is VERY lovely for a guy. So I don't really think it's about being... (read in full...)

My husband has hidden stashes of Cialis, separate bills and now I found what looks like he may have bought jewelry. What is going on??

Q.   A few years ago, I found a hidden stash of Cialis in my husband's suit pocket hanging in the closet. I felt and heard it when I was putting his laundry away. I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. But, then I found a stash in ...

A.   22 February 2018: So have you made a choice with WHAT you want to do? IF he is proven to be cheating? ... (read in full...)

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

Q.   I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...

A.   21 February 2018: If you otherwise like him, continue to date him but tell him you WISH to take it slowly... AND... take what he says with a grain of salt. He might be in love with the IDEA of being in love and the fantasy of who he WANTS you to be. But if ... (read in full...)

My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married

Q.   I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...

A.   21 February 2018: Stress at work is never a good excuse for him to talk smack to you or attack you verbally (because he is attacking you). It's EASY to complain about all the things you "want" but who doesn't WANT conversations about less stressful topics here and ... (read in full...)

What should I expect about finances, personal space and housework when we start living together?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm gonna move in with my bf in couple.of months, we have been together for almost 2.5 years. I always lived alone or with my parents. So i'm not sure what to expect when we start living together like finances, personal space, house wor...

A.   21 February 2018: Sit down and talk this OVER before you move in. Make a chose list TOGETHER and who does what. Talk finances, talk bills. What can you afford? What does he expect you to pay? MAKE a budget together. STICK to that budget. DO NOT move i... (read in full...)

Is he weird or just desperate for telling his plans to me? We barely know each other

Q.   Hello people, 2days ago I went on date with a man I met online his 44 years old with 4 kids from his partner who left him for another man.We chatted in a Cafe for 3 hours, but what was strange was that he was telling me all his faults like how he ...

A.   21 February 2018: Sounds like he is more desperate for a "replacement mommy" than a partner. He has 4 kids and a house that needs minding or a "woman's touch" (in lack of a better term). He seems flighty and honestly? FULL of empty promises. The fact that he is ... (read in full...)

Is it possible to still be a rebound if a guy left his ex to be with you?

Q.   Is it possible to still be a rebound if a guy left his ex to be with you? My boyfriend and his ex broke up after she found out about us on Facebook. He’s with me now but he still entertains his ex and is still in contact with her....

A.   21 February 2018: Yes, you probably IS his rebound. The fact that he keeps contact with the ex isn't (at least to me) a good sign about how he feels about you. ... (read in full...)

How soon should I contact her for a 2nd date after a great first date?

Q.   Hi , I'm a single professional guy of age 40. I met a cute/beautiful woman ( she is about 37) at a food meetup about 3 weeks back ( it was a group setting) I was sitting diagonally across he and we chatted quite a bit. I was definitely interest...

A.   21 February 2018: Don't do the "wait 3 days". If the contact isn't flowing well, maybe this is not quite the one for you. The idea time to ask for a second date? I think is at the END of a SUCCESSFUL first date. IMHO. So you can ask her out any time now. Bu... (read in full...)

Unrequited love for a sometimes FWB and I'm feeling second best

Q.   I’ve been seeing this guy for just over nine months. When we first met I fell in love with him, and at first it was reciprocated. I am still in love with him, however his feelings have changed and we have moved to more of a situation where we are ...

A.   21 February 2018: You are a poor substitute OP, Most FWB's are uneven from the start and as soon as ONE of them develop feelings it's even more uneven. I think he likes you as a person, but he never felt as strongly about you, as you do about him. Why do I sa... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's lack of initiative worries me

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 2+ years. I am his first serious relationship. Overall we have a good, caring, fun relationship. We are generally compatible in personality and values. He is caring, responsible and of good characte...

A.   21 February 2018: Here is the thing, OP He likes the talks, he likes the FANTASY of "a great future" but he either doesn't KNOW how to get from A-Z or he just isn't really ready for the REALITY. Why not pull back a little, see if he picks up the slack. If you, s... (read in full...)

My husband said he would have broken up with me if we weren't married

Q.   I had a huge fight with my husband - married 1.5 years but toegthwr 5 years. He just told me that he would be broken up with me if we werent married. I asked him if he really means it and he said yes. Im 6 weeks pregnant so he calls me up just...

A.   21 February 2018: Could be, that he meant it in the heat of the fight but he is staying for more reason than just the fact that you two are married. I DO think you need to have a conversation about this. And if you don't want to be his "begrudging wife" that he ... (read in full...)

My husband bought a perfume for a colleague.. Is he cheating?

Q.   My husband came home from trip abroad. While i was unpacking i saw a burberry perfume i sent him a picture of it.. ang replied” for my colleague”... the perfume is obviously for women. He messaged again he said “ did i do anything wrong?” I felt ...

A.   21 February 2018: While I do think buying perfume and other "intimate" presents (such as jewelry, perfume, negligees etc.) to coworkers (when you are a married man or woman) - so people don't know those "unofficial rules". While (to me at least) it's COMMON S... (read in full...)

A relationship with an attached man is making me feel so sad?

Q.   I've been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year and I've fallen head over heals in love with him.He told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not really together but idk..He still live her a year later with no ...

A.   21 February 2018: I agree with N91 No need to "break up" with him, just block his number. (And consider getting a new phone number). But if you feel you NEED to do so, just text him. And block, don't wait for an answer. As for men and why you end up in "thing... (read in full...)

Are all university boys so immature? Do I need an older, more mature man in my life?

Q.   I have recently broken up with my university boyfriend after a year of dating. His hobbies included smoking weed and playing video games, and he didn't go to his lectures or ever have any money. He generally was a caring person who I had lots of ...

A.   21 February 2018: EDIT (should have coffee before typing my answers, sorry) I wrote: "While I agree that you SHOULD have a standard for what you want in a partner. I also agree with your BF. You should date someone like him and then expect him to change to sui... (read in full...)

Are all university boys so immature? Do I need an older, more mature man in my life?

Q.   I have recently broken up with my university boyfriend after a year of dating. His hobbies included smoking weed and playing video games, and he didn't go to his lectures or ever have any money. He generally was a caring person who I had lots of ...

A.   21 February 2018: You know age DOES have something to do with it in many ways, but you can also find guys that are older and still that immature. While I agree that you SHOULD have a standard for what you want in a partner. I also agree with your BF. You should d... (read in full...)

What's the deal with shy guy?

Q.   This shy guy in my evening class is always nervous around me. One day in class another guy asked this shy guy if he has a girlfriend. The shy guy with a big smile on his face said Yes but then he looked at me and said No I don't have a girlfrie...

A.   21 February 2018: Why knows? Someone put him on the spot and he said he had one, then took it back. Why lie about that? It's not like it's a good or fun to joke to say YES I have a gf! So, really... who knows?... (read in full...)

Should I message him and find out what’s wrong?

Q.   So this is probably like the most unimportant question of all time but I seriously don’t know what to do. So basically I had been talking to this guy for a few weeks and it was going really well, we had a lot of cute banter and flirting and a really ...

A.   21 February 2018: I agree with Ycnbs and N91, I wouldn't text him. You know he is fine (as he is online) but he has CHOSEN to not contact you. I would NOT reach out to see what's "wrong". YOU didn't do anything wrong here (per se) except go HOME with a guy you d... (read in full...)

I kicked my partner out of my house because of his hurtful comments. Advice?

Q.   Yesterday I kicked my partner out of my home. He is 60 years old and has been a very high level banker in the past. We had a minor tiff when I confronted him (gently) by telling him I was hurt by a comment he made. I had shown him a mortgag...

A.   20 February 2018: While I think he might have presumed to ONLY be giving you "sound advice" he also likes to hold the power, be the "smarter one", the one who is always "right" and when you don't comply or agree - he gets rude and demeaning. Because you are not ... (read in full...)

How soon is too soon to fall in love?

Q.   I met a guy we're both in our 30s. He gave me his number once, i never called him and then a couple weeks later he approached me agian, we exchanged numbers and talked/texted all day. I think he's cool! The next day he asked me out. I said i wanted ...

A.   20 February 2018: It's WAYYYY too much and WAYYYYY too soon. He doesn't know you, and you don't know him. So if he is in "love" it's with his own FANTASY of you, not the real you. Wanting to buy you all kind of stuff... again, no. For me those are red flags. ... (read in full...)

I hate sex with my husband!

Q.   OMG. I hate sex with my husband. It was always not great but I thought it would improve over time. I love him very much and I didn’t think that was a reason to break up before we got married. I’ve never discussed this with anyone.A...

A.   20 February 2018: I don't think an "open marriage" is a solution to the problem. AT ALL. Or at least NOT the first option to seek. If you INTEND on making this marriage work you NEED to have a VERY uncomfortable and straight to the point conversation about sex. Abo... (read in full...)

Are we wrong for seeing each other? Or is it just a complex situation?

Q.   My dad had been going out with this girl, I met her friend's son, and instantly developed a crush on him which carried on through the years. My dad ended up dumping the girl he was with and getting with her friend, which was the mother of the boy I ...

A.   20 February 2018: I think it's just a really messy situation but legally I don't think there is an issue here. IS there anything "wrong" in it? I think if you two had been step-siblings and grew up together it would be kind of gross. (If I am to be honest) but sinc... (read in full...)

A relationship with an attached man is making me feel so sad?

Q.   I've been seeing a man who lives with his baby mama for a year and I've fallen head over heals in love with him.He told me that he was in the process of leaving her and they are not really together but idk..He still live her a year later with no ...

A.   17 February 2018: Why on Earth do you think you can't find someone else? Or someone better? France has 67!!! million people - HALF of those are male! So at LEAST 10 million are men over 18 and you stick to a guy who is living with his child and the child's mother c... (read in full...)

My husband has hidden stashes of Cialis, separate bills and now I found what looks like he may have bought jewelry. What is going on??

Q.   A few years ago, I found a hidden stash of Cialis in my husband's suit pocket hanging in the closet. I felt and heard it when I was putting his laundry away. I never said anything because I didn't want to embarrass him. But, then I found a stash in ...

A.   5 February 2018: I think first off you need to decide that IF he is cheating WHAT DO you plan to do? Do you plan on leaving? Divorce? OR to just suck it up and stay? I'm asking because you have to decide if this is a deal breaker or not. If the two of y... (read in full...)

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