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*oneypie

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Should I meet up to talk to him after he said he didn't want to be with me anymore?

Q.   I was with this boy for a few months and he basically said that he's changed so doesn't want to be with me. I dunno if I should go meet up and talk or to just let him go. I've never loved someone as much as I love him. He is my true love and he...

A.   4 December 2016: I agree, let him go. Meeting up will do YOU (and him) no good. He has already made his mind up so meeting up will not give you closure. ACCEPTING that it's over will EVENTUALLY give you closure. You know the saying: “If you love somethin... (read in full...)

He acted as though he liked me but then he went cold

Q.   In the begining of October this guy I havent seen since I graduated high school saw me out and spoke to me. Then a few days later he sent me a friend request and we talked for a few weeks on Facebook and he asked me for my number. We went out he ...

A.   4 December 2016: Next time just go slower. Keep the heavy flirting till AFTER you know him a BIT better. Easier to get to know a person if you try and keep the "overtly flirty" out of the equation at the start. (not that you did ANYTHING wrong, mind you) And d... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has become very self centred

Q.   I'm 25 years old and I work in ems/fire. I've been having troubles with my girlfriend recently. I feel like she is becoming very controlling due to the fact she doesn't even live with me but yet gets mad when I have friends over or my dad and brot...

A.   4 December 2016: Sounds like she doesn't really understand your job or gives a rat's ass about you. I understand that it can suck that your BF just worked 24-46 hours and he's too busy with that to see you, and then he wants to SLEEP when he gets off a double/t... (read in full...)

He acted as though he liked me but then he went cold

Q.   In the begining of October this guy I havent seen since I graduated high school saw me out and spoke to me. Then a few days later he sent me a friend request and we talked for a few weeks on Facebook and he asked me for my number. We went out he ...

A.   4 December 2016: Just block him and unfriend. There is NO reason for him to treat you like this. And no I don't think you owe him an apology or anything else. Why waste time, emotions and energy on people like that? Telling him how you feel is OK. Just don... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   3 December 2016: I'm so sorry the company hasn't done anything to help you. And that he doesn't accept responsibility and act like a decent human being. Honesty? I'd go back to HR and show them the text where the threatened you. That is ridiculous. And why do I... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's libido is so low

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 14 months. Sex has never been frequent or very passionate on his side... he doesn't even like to kiss either. However, recently he doesn't want sex at all and it's weeks and weeks before he gives it me again, but ...

A.   3 December 2016: Of course, he blames you. THAT is by far the easy way out... YOU are too demanding, YOU are too fixated on sex.. all your fault... Let's face it, he just isn't into sex. He may be HOT looking but when it comes to sex he just isn't interest... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend bored of me sexually, because he has suggested we use sex toys?

Q.   Hello cupids. I am not sure where my boyfriend is coming from. I am afraid he is not as happy with me sexually as he once was. We have been together for close to 4 years. Our sex life has always been pretty amazing. I went ahead and booked a hot...

A.   3 December 2016: I don't think he feels the sex with you is boring at all. But he might want to toss in a few toys to spice things up for you both, a little variety can be fun. It's like eating white rice for years, white rice is nice. Try and add a dab of cocon... (read in full...)

I don't know whether I should take her back or not!

Q.   My girlfriend is in the us at college and I'm in the uk working, we are both British and 18 and have been together for a year. She met a friend at college very soon at August time (let's call him Jim) and he was just a friend, she told me this...

A.   3 December 2016: First of all, I'm sorry you are having to deal with this. Second of all everyone makes mistakes. However, I don't see having SEX with someone besides one's partner is a "mistake" it's a CHOICE. Saying NO is an option (most of the time). And when... (read in full...)

Does he just want into my trousers?

Q.   Hello there, Iv been talking to a boy I love for a few months now and we've been out together but he lives away from me, it's all being going great and he told me he loved me and it was going so well. He's now said that I don't make him Happy and he ...

A.   2 December 2016: I agree with Denizen This BOY is immature. He KNOWS that girls want to hear " I love you" but he doesn't know or doesn't WANT to back it up with ACTUAL action. Wish him well and let him go, he has a LOT of growing up to do. And while you C... (read in full...)

Is my mom's behavior normal? Is she being unfair?

Q.   I graduated from college and started working 2.5 years ago. My sister did the same half a year ago. In case it’s relevant, we were born and raised in California to immigrant Asian parents. Amongst our culture and friends, it’s quite common to still ...

A.   2 December 2016: I do think it's part empty nest, part jealousy (you have a life she doesn't) and maybe because you are the "baby" (of the female children) so she thinks YOU need the most rules. She probably baby your brother if he was around. And maybe she thinks ... (read in full...)

We met online. Is he interested in me, or not? Do I contact him, or wait?

Q.   I went on a date with a man i met on a dating site. ( i dont get many ) He gave the lines how he's not connected with someone like me in a while and hes very open with everything. We get on so well i could see a future with him . The other day he...

A.   2 December 2016: Do you really think he is in a place to be dating? I mean if he can't afford to put minutes on his phone.... then transport costs and dinner/date (even if you go Dutch might be more than he can actually do right now.) If he basically lives a little ... (read in full...)

Our sex drives are mismatched! Is he being selfish?

Q.   Hiya I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now but the last couple of months he doesn't seem to want sex anymore when I ask him if anything is wrong if hes stressed etc he says he's fine he's just lazy and hasnt got a very high sex drive whereas I ...

A.   2 December 2016: I have to agree, I don't think having a low libido is selfish or that the person with the lower libido should "force" themselves to have sex to please a partner... That is not only ridiculous but a SURE way to "kill" whatever libido is left. If th... (read in full...)

My boyfriend hasn't told his parents about our child

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 yrs I hadn't met his parents till recently and I found he hasn't told them about our child whose almost 3yrs old...how am I suppose to deal or take that??...

A.   2 December 2016: Well, maybe he was worried what they might think if he already has 3 kids. They probably gave him "choice words" for fathering kids left and right. But it does seem weird that he is OK with having kids, but not OK with telling his parents.... (read in full...)

How do you know when it's over for good?

Q.   How do you know when a relationship is over for good ? I've been with my partner for a year but we've split 4 times but always come back together. The last split he dumped me for not a good reason and it was over fb and I wad humiliated. Since th...

A.   1 December 2016: I hhoney, LET HIM GO. Stop letting him USE you for entertainment purposes like he is now. He chats you up all nicely to HAVE SEX and then to make SURE you know he doesn't WANT you as a GF he accuses you of cheating. Why? Because you will be SO busy ... (read in full...)

Should I confront him about this Facebook friend?

Q.   hiya everyone i was going through my friends list on facebook this afternoon just deleting contacts i dont speak to i noticed my boyfriend has added a woman who is very attractive and the type he told me he goes for i have looked on her profile and ...

A.   1 December 2016: Really? It's your job to monitor whom your BF can be "friends" with on Facebook? Are you serious? So what if she is his "type" - HE might not be HER type. She might be an old friend or just someone he follows for whatever reason. Inste... (read in full...)

Shouldn't he ask I be included?

Q.   My boyfriend and I live together. He has been invited to a wedding of a friend that I don't know. He has not been given a plus one but still wants to go. I feel that as we are a proper couple an invite should have been extended to me. If it is a ...

A.   1 December 2016: Yes and no. I get your point of view, BUT.... these are friends you haven't met. So for them, it's NOT important to include you JUST because you are dating BOB (your BF). And he SHOULD be able to do things without you HAVING to ALWAYS be includ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend hasn't told his parents about our child

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 4 yrs I hadn't met his parents till recently and I found he hasn't told them about our child whose almost 3yrs old...how am I suppose to deal or take that??...

A.   1 December 2016: Ask him? There are way too many variables for me to guess why he hasn't.... (read in full...)

I didn't even ask him anything. He seems shy. What am I meant to conclude from the remark he made to me?

Q.   I go to a local university and a shy guy in my class is friendly with me, gets a bit nervous , stares , seems jealous when another guy talks to me. One day while casually talking to me he said " I treat you with higher standards than anyone else her...

A.   1 December 2016: Honestly? He sounds a little full of himself especially for a "shy guy". If someone came up to me and told me that he treated me with higher standards than everyone else, I'd question just how sane he was. IMHO a person who treats you with a h... (read in full...)

Giving it another chance

Q.   Hi guys, I'm in a bad situation at the moment and have never felt so hurt before. I've never really trusted my partner 100% and I was correct for that as I found that he had the intention of sleeping with somebody behind my back which is extremel...

A.   30 November 2016: You can't "work around it" you two HAVE to sit down and talk it out. He HAS to give you a reason as to WHY he wanted to do it, WHY he thought it was OK and whether is he remorseful for that choice or not. "Working around it" is more of a "pretend... (read in full...)

My ex says she wants to be with me but won't leave her new boyfriend

Q.   What should I do? I dated this girl for a long time , we broke up she got a new man and now has an baby she says she loved me and wants to start a family with me but I tell her when shes going to leave him and her answer is I dont know dont ask...

A.   30 November 2016: Let her go, OP She likes to have you on the side JUST in case new BF doesn't work out. YOU are the spare BF. And think about it, DOES her words of love etc. match her actions? No, it doesn't. She is totally fine with status quo of YOU still wan... (read in full...)

How do I get over my former friend's betrayal?

Q.   Hi, How do I get my lying, cheating friend out of my head?? I was conned and lied to by a girl I thought was a friend of mine just so she could take my ex (we were on a temporary break)! I totally trusted her but she ended up ruining my life, wi...

A.   30 November 2016: I agree with Denizen. It's harder than it sounds, but you HAVE to let it go. LET them go. She wasn't the only one who betrayed you. Your ex-bf joined her willingly in that. He CHOSE to believe whatever lies she told, over you, a person he KNEW... (read in full...)

My girlfriend made a online dating profile and when I confronted her she lied. Where to now, with this relationship??

Q.   So I found out my girlfriend had made a online dating profile and when I confronted her she lied straight to my face about it and after a little while she finally admitted she made it. When I asked her why she made it she told me she was bored an...

A.   30 November 2016: I think you should sit her down and tell her, that this has actually affected how you feel about the relationship. Should you stay for the kid? What good would that do? For you OR the child? If you are miserable and SHE is BORED with the relation... (read in full...)

What can I do? I don't want to lose my relationship with my niece so soon

Q.   Hi I know this is advice about love but I am writing about how much I love my niece and I think it is unfair that my brother in-law's parents get to see her on Christmas and I don't get to see her during Christmas at all. I help take care of her a...

A.   30 November 2016: Sorry Grandparents usually "trumps" aunt/uncles in the holiday priorities. Doesn't mean you can do something special with her BEFORE or after Christmas, does it? From what I can glean she is rather little and Christmas isn't necessarily ONE day ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my controlling dad?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I feel like my dad is very controlling and it's uncomfortable for me being that I'm a 19 year old woman. He is someone who doesn't like people and has something negative to say about everything. He works from home so he is ALWAYS home ...

A.   29 November 2016: Well, there is the option of moving out. That way you can live your life as YOU see fit. For many parents, the rule is: "when you live under their roof, you follow their rules". My guess is he is scared that something could happen to you. T... (read in full...)

He's playing with my head! What more can I do?

Q.   Hello. I'm after so advise,I'm very confused I was seeing this guy since 2010 with him moving in with me, anyway 2013 he moved to another place out of town with me saying I think he had met someone else,we carried on speaking never saw each other ...

A.   29 November 2016: Do yourself and you daughter a favor and cut this man off. He treats you like a revolving FWB - when he wants something he will be in contact, when he has stuff to do he won't. Why are you settling for this? So WHAT if he suggested a vacati... (read in full...)

Is my online boyfriend hiding something?

Q.   i got this online boyfriend we never seen each other yet been in a relationship nearly 2months we always video call, phone call and chat. we exchange password before in instagram. 1st he trusted me his instagram and i get jealous to the girl he ...

A.   29 November 2016: I think you should just accept that this is NOT a good guy for you. He doesn't care if his actions hurt you, all he cares about is what HE wants to do. He is an "online bf" so easy for you to end it and walk away. Find someone you can BE with, in... (read in full...)

Is she in the wrong more than me?

Q.   I have been with C----- for 2 years, engaged for 5 month. Pretty solid relationship, love her to pieces but our communication is off, she yells at/threatens me to get her point across and I just plain ignore her to spite her. This situation is a ...

A.   29 November 2016: Good grief and you two claim to want to get married? You are BOTH acting like brats. Seriously. This is NOT about WHO is the most "wrong" - this is an issue with two people on the BRINK of marriage who both think it's about being RIGHT all ... (read in full...)

I asked him to remove my pics, he said he did, but he hasn't!

Q.   Good day, So I've been friends with a guy for roughly a yr plus. He is cool. We talk relationships, future jobs etc. I like our friendship but he wants more and I could tell because he does these things like always tagging me in stuff, texting m...

A.   29 November 2016: You DO know that you can set your setting so he CAN'T see your pictures and thus can't "take" them? Right? PRIVACY setting. This guy is NOT respecting you or your wishes. Report it to FB again. And KEEP doing it till the pictures are down. ... (read in full...)

I'm 16, girlfriend is 14 ... I am thinking of breaking up because we cant find anywhere private!

Q.   Am a 16 year old teenager in High School. Am currently a junior dating my 14 year old freshman girlfriend. We've been together 2 months and its been working out. Me and her have kissed before a couple of times, but never making out. The reason being ...

A.   29 November 2016: Sounds like... you are dating her to have someone to make out with and honestly? She is 14. She may SEEM mature but really, she isn't. And 2 months and making out is your biggest priority? Talk about raging hormones. How about you DO spend the... (read in full...)

They're saying I'm too harsh with her little brother who has autism! Advice?

Q.   Hello everyone! I need a hand with something concerning my girlfriend's autistic little brother. So this kid is great, I love him to death I have been with my girlfriend for almost 3 months and love her very much, I'd do anything for her. He...

A.   29 November 2016: I think this might not work out for you at all. You can't really change your voice and they aren't exactly telling you HOW to go about being nicer or gentler. I seriously doubt you have a menacing voice. Seriously. Seems to me that this family... (read in full...)

He says he is too old for me

Q.   Dear cupid, this I been talk to on okcupid he is very nice guy hes59 and I'm 47 we been talk over a month he ask me if move down here if I go out with him I say yes and now he's say he's to old for me but he still wants to move down here he ask me ...

A.   28 November 2016: I agree with WiseOwlE BE careful here. And honestly, if he thinks he is too old for you? CUT him lose and wish him well and then block him. It's not your job to find a home for some random dude off the internet....... (read in full...)

We are both still married. Should I get involved with my married friend?

Q.   Hello everyone, Over the past few years, I have run into a lot of issues with my husband and have discovered that the large bulk of our problems stem from some physical and mental health issues which cannot really go away. This has taken a toll...

A.   28 November 2016: You know what, OP? SORT out what you want to do with your marriage 100%. Stay or go and then DO it. Don't sit on the fence and think cheating will help you make a choice. Sounds like your marriage is OVER, but you are in denial. Your hus... (read in full...)

My boyfriend makes me feel so bad about myself

Q.   I don't know what to do, ive been with my boyfriend for about a year now and we've lived together for about 5 months, he's mostly a really nice guy, but he doesn't show me any emotional support whatsoever, i have told him i need him to emotionally ...

A.   28 November 2016: You should take him up in his words. MOVE out, either by yourself or move back home. Like BimBim said, talk to your parents and see if you can move back in and get back on your feet. THIS is not how a healthy relationship works. You shoul... (read in full...)

I am his great big secret!

Q.   I have been dating a guy 16 years older than me for the last 6 months. He has been divorced twice and have 3 teenage/young adult children with his first wife and a 3 yr old daughter with the second. He divorced 18 months ago. I have 2 teenagers and ...

A.   28 November 2016: I think he is trying to put his kids first. Which I think makes sense. 6 months is NOT a long time to be dating. Even if he HAS offered for you to live with him. He seems to me to be a guy who makes a lot of promises and who is a man of superflu... (read in full...)

Why was he being so open if all he wanted from me was sex?

Q.   Hi Everyone, I meet this guy online February 2016. We meet up in March. We both have 9yr old girls, have stuff in common. We hit it off staright away. We meet up every weekend...days out with our children. By April it got very intease, we were...

A.   28 November 2016: Honestly? I think he was looking for a friend more than a sex-partner. But I don't think he is/was looking for a "real" relationship. I don't think he is there yet. Seems like he is keeping his options open with you and then this new girl he ... (read in full...)

Is it a bad idea to hook up with a single mother?

Q.   Recently I broke up with my girlfriend and now I'm single. I know it's too early to hang out with other women but there is this girl she's 09/10 rating hot brunette, younger, she used to be my coworker but she got pregnant, got married and now she's ...

A.   28 November 2016: Yes, I think you should leave her be. IF she is as good looking as yo u say, she won't have a problem attracting the kind of guy she wants (and sorry OP, you might not be "it".) Most single mom's I know are not looking for an F-buddy or someone ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants me to give another man oral sex.I am not happy with this!

Q.   My boyfriend has been pressuring me into blowing another guy and I feel completely uncomfortable with the idea, I have told him this everytime he's asked and now he brings it up in the middle of sex or while he's dirty talking, I told him I'd ...

A.   27 November 2016: If I were you I'd tell him:" honeybunches, I have thought it over and there is NO WAY in HELL I want another man's dick in my mouth for YOUR pleasure,I find the whole idea degrading to me and THAT is not something I WANT to feel or do. IF it's VERY ... (read in full...)

Can't fathom the girl

Q.   My girlfriend's brother's girlfriend often pops up on Facebook and talks to me, asking questions and generally being friendly. However, in person, she is very cold. I have only met her once for a week as she lives in the USA and after a year of ...

A.   27 November 2016: My vote? She is a bit shy and she is trying to not create any jealousy with the BF. Some people are very "chatty" online and in texts, but in person, they falter. I think she is one of those. Does she chat with your GF too? Or just you? ... (read in full...)

Why is my ex friend behaving like this ?

Q.   Need some advice here. I asked a question a few days ago and it was regarding a now ex friend of mine I'd had for 2.5 years. She made remarks about my sister not being very pretty to my face. When I politely asked her not to be so opinionated a...

A.   27 November 2016: If she is still bothered it's HER problem. I'd keep ignoring her because anything else will make her think you care about her childish behavior. It might take a while but eventually, she will come to realize that you aren't going to join her litt... (read in full...)

I think I deserve a straight answer

Q.   I asked this girl out recently who I actually thought liked me back, given all the flirting, but as soon as I asked if she wanted to go out, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “I don’t know, I have to think about it, can I get back to you?” W...

A.   27 November 2016: You put her on the spot and she didn't know what to say. So my guess is... she is unsure, but more leaning to a no, than a yes. Her flirting was perhaps in all good fun with no purpose of taking it further than flirting. Would it just be simpl... (read in full...)

Why is my ex friend behaving like this ?

Q.   Need some advice here. I asked a question a few days ago and it was regarding a now ex friend of mine I'd had for 2.5 years. She made remarks about my sister not being very pretty to my face. When I politely asked her not to be so opinionated a...

A.   4 November 2016: Eventually, she will stop IF you ignore her. Right now though she is beating herself (and you mentally) up for what happened. She put her big foot in her mouth and lost face (and a friend). So while she is upset with herself she probably won't st... (read in full...)

Why is my ex friend behaving like this ?

Q.   Need some advice here. I asked a question a few days ago and it was regarding a now ex friend of mine I'd had for 2.5 years. She made remarks about my sister not being very pretty to my face. When I politely asked her not to be so opinionated a...

A.   28 October 2016: She probably isn't too proud of herself, but I really wouldn't worry about that. SHE has to live with herself and HER actions. YOU, thankfully, can ignore her all you want. Some people live and learn and some don't learn a darn thing. Don't be ... (read in full...)

Why is my ex friend behaving like this ?

Q.   Need some advice here. I asked a question a few days ago and it was regarding a now ex friend of mine I'd had for 2.5 years. She made remarks about my sister not being very pretty to my face. When I politely asked her not to be so opinionated a...

A.   25 October 2016: She calls you "the enemy" because she wants you to be hurt. It wasn't enough that she talked smack about your sister, no you are the new target now. She KNOWS how to get a raise out of you and for whatever petty and childish reason she wants yo... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   23 September 2016: You are still the one who DID it. YOU stood up to him, YOU told him enough, you told him this is inappropriate. When you posted your initial question you KNEW it was inappropriate of your co-worker or at least "iffy". So you have good instinct... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   23 September 2016: I hope the new job situation will work out for you. And I hope your boss (es) will understand that you HAD to go to HR because enough is enough. Still TALK to your boss about the HR/Bob thing. He should be in the loop. Seems like you have fo... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   23 September 2016: I wish you good luck, OP. And I wouldn't be surprised if this isn't the first time HR have heard about his shenanigans, though they probably won't tell you that. Do the company have other branches? That is also a possibility. I know it could se... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   23 September 2016: I do think you have to go to HR ASAP. He still isn't accepting that YOU have stood up for yourself. I mean when I read your story he shifts from manipulation, accusations, "forgetfulness" and then to bribing. Honestly? those are like CLEAR si... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   17 September 2016: Yes, be prepared. but also.... if they ask you to leave because they don't want to deal with this, GET it in writing. Take it to a lawyer. SERIOUSLY. Because THAT is totally MESSED up attitude from their side. And IF that is their attitude, it's NOT ... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   17 September 2016: Before you go to HR - WRITE down the whole story from start to "end". Add dates and times if you can. It's easier than going there nervous and THEN have to explain it. I think going to HR would be a good idea. I didn't really think he would be... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   14 September 2016: Good for you OP! You grew a set, didn't you?! At least you didn't let him intimidate (which I think was HIS plan when he cornered you). Instead, you stood up to him and gave him VERY sound and rational reasons as to WHY you don't want to be his "... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   13 September 2016: Good for you! I don't think it's weak to not want to have that conversation face to face. After all, you know yourself and you have had a glimpse of him and he seems VERY persuasive. My guess is he will do one of 2 things: 1. try and pret... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   13 September 2016: No one is "annoyed" with your lack of spine here :) maybe you are, though? It's OK that you are not comfortable with confrontation, but if he doesn't "get" the point of yu pulling away you might have t obe blunt. And you know what? it's OK to be... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   13 September 2016: I think he has noticed that you are pulling away and that is why he is now "stalking" you or latching on to you. He doesn't feel confident that you are so easy to manipulate as he had first thought. So you ARE on the right track. You might no... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   10 September 2016: Hey, if it helps to talk it through with all of us here at DC, go for it! Having a sounding board is good. But take the advice given to heart, consider it and If you find that it FEELS right, USE it. YOU do not OWE him squat. Yes, you work to... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   9 September 2016: I agree, STAY clear of him. If he suggests another outing tell him no thanks, that you PREFER to keep it professional and also DO NOT share any more tidbits about your life or past other that the little casual things people will share with a s... (read in full...)

Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   25 August 2016: I'd go. But I would keep conversation to work/casual, nothing about your love life (none of his business). If he starts talking about problems with his wife, the whole my wife doesn't understand me or other bull crap to try and make you feel sor... (read in full...)

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