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*oneypie

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My boyfriend stares at and approaches other women, it makes me uncomfortable.

Q.   my boyfriend keeps looking at other women when we are out and ive seen him literally turn his neck to side and stare for ages at other women also he goes up to women on theyre own and chats to them about anything usually starting with theyre dog to ...

A.   20 May 2019: This is who he is. He doesn't even want to admit it, so the likelihood of him being more aware of HOW his behavior makes you feel is closer to zero. One thing you CAN try is when ever you are together and he does the "break neck" thing out ... (read in full...)

Why would my partner text to his ex "there is nothing here" regarding our relationship

Q.   Hi, me and my partner have been together 10 years his previous partner he was with for 15 years. I was looking at his messages and found a message where he stated to her that there is nothing here for him and I have questioned him on this but so far ...

A.   20 May 2019: I have to agree with Youcannotbeserious Either this is true and you have been ignoring the fact that the relationship IS dead in the water or he is hoping to get some "sympathy" from his ex. Be that in words or deeds. Either way, you need to... (read in full...)

I feel so alone and I'm so scared of being abandoned.

Q.   I'm wanting some advice about a few issues right now and a bit of perhaps on guidance on what to do next or how to make the next decision on the next chapter. I'm currently in a small city in the UK and I've been struggling with mental health is...

A.   19 May 2019: Maybe what you REALLY need to do is face your fear and not leave up to your BF to determine your future. Especially if he is a little or lot unsure of the two of you. So my advice would be: LOOK for another job - preferably somewhere, where... (read in full...)

Do we change our views in regards to relationships as we get older?

Q.   Silly question maybe but in terms of how you are as a person do we change all that much from the ages of twenty to forty when it comes to how we view relationships? My partner says he didn't know what love was, had nothing to compare it to, looks ...

A.   19 May 2019: He got burned the first time, of course he is more careful before jumping in. However, he is also judging "all" women by ONE woman's actions which isn't fair. His job is to look out for himself, first, then family, friends, partner etc. Though ... (read in full...)

My partner avoids me, but says there is nothing wrong.

Q.   Hi people I really need some advice I’ve been with my partner for 6 years we have a 4 year old daughter I have a son from a previous relationship we’ve been having problems this last year I caught him watching porn which normally would not of ...

A.   19 May 2019: Have you told him straight out that you FEEL like there is no relationship, no intimacy and really NO point in being together when all he does is avoid you? You have to look at what you have with him and decide am I fulfilled here? Is he a... (read in full...)

Passing ships in the night but I can't get him out of my head

Q.   Help. I don't think I'm gonna hear from this guy again. I really fell for this lad on my adult training course. He's a bit younger than myself, but we sat together and flirted a lot and even caught each other staring at each other from time to time, ...

A.   19 May 2019: You didn't have feelings for each other, you were ATTRACTED to each other. BIG difference. You don't know the guy. You know that there was chemistry going on but other then that? You don't know. He might HAVE a GF/partner and therefore CHOSE to... (read in full...)

Why are men so cruel? Is that the way of the world?

Q.   I’ve asked for help in the past and am very grateful. Which is why i’m Asking again. As I need to process something clearly. I am 44 years old. Divorced twice ( arranged marriage in Asia and an alcoholic husband in the UK). I have worked all ...

A.   19 May 2019: OP don't make the mistake of LETTING others direct your path in life. If you don't feel this "thing" is going in the direction YOU want and that he has YOU on standby, then WISH him well and BLOCK all contact. YOU DON'T have to still talk to him a... (read in full...)

How do I get stronger? Ex cheated on me I ended things

Q.   So I found out my ex cheated on me this Monday. We had a lot of problems throughout our relationship, so many that I lose count. We had an argument last Thursday he was bottling up a lot inside it turned out he didn’t like I was friends with my ex, ...

A.   18 May 2019: Just start by letting him go and cutting ALL contact with him. There is nothing here to fix with him. He is putting ALL the blame on you, even though he know his own behavior is questionable if not downright super inappropriate for someone in a... (read in full...)

My best friend says he's in love with me after his break up but I don't feel the same way

Q.   My best friend has recently been dumped by his girlfriend of three years, this is the first time he’s been single his entire since he was 16 and was naturally cut up about it. However after about a week he’s told me that he doesn’t care any more ...

A.   18 May 2019: I do think you are right that these are rebound feelings and wanting to not be alone. I would simply BE honest with him that YOU don't feel the same way and if that means giving him space then do so. Even if it's NOT "rebound feelings" I STIL... (read in full...)

We're both unhappy in our marriages and have a long history. Should we have sex?

Q.   When I was a teenager While visiting family i met a boy, through high school we crushed back and forth on each other secretly and living in different ends of the country made it impossible for anything to happen. As young adults be told me he liked ...

A.   18 May 2019: This will fix nothing. It will make your marriage even rockier. No one is EVER 100% happy in their marriage ALL the time. That is unrealistic. If you don't see a way for you and your husband to FIX what isn't working, then maybe you ... (read in full...)

How can I stay grounded, protect myself and keep even firmer boundaries with an absolutely ghastly ex?

Q.   Today I realized that I am experiencing Crazy-Making with my ex, whom I split up with over 9 years ago. There has been a repeated pattern of him provoking arguments and there is no room for effective communication to take place; he chooses to ta...

A.   18 May 2019: Just keep being firm. He wants to DEBATE what you do in YOUR life, tell him. NONE of your business and REFUSE to engage in any debate or argument. If it's over the phone tell him, this is not a subject for debate, you got to go and hang up. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is very casual about his daughters' privacy and I find it very very odd

Q.   Ive been seeing a guy who's super awesome. We're both single parents of two girls each. They stay the night frequently. My girls are 9 and 13, his are 9 and 11. Despite having lived in an all girl house for the last 5 years or so, my daughters and ...

A.   18 May 2019: Nope, nope and nope. The girls are ALL old enough to bathe themselves and dress themselves and honestly.. if they don't know how to WIPE their bums by now... I just don't know. I don't think my dad really helped me change clothes ever. As... (read in full...)

My husband looks at young women in porn and tells me I should just be happy he's still having sex with me despite my shortcomings

Q.   My husband looks at porn of women around 18- 20 . I’m entering menopause and feeling extremely depressed about my changes to my body such as less elasticity and lubrication wrinkles etc . I’m fit and healthy but nothing makes me as young as the ...

A.   17 May 2019: Is HE as fit as he was when you first started dating? As firm and handsome? I bet not. Not that it matters much, this has more to do with ATTITUDE and respect. I guess he thinks he is hilarious. That he is saying it as a joke, but the thing... (read in full...)

I'm completely infatuated with a married man who's my boyfriend's friend!

Q.   I just need someone to tell me that I’m crazy and maybe give me some advice on how to move on. I feel like I’m a high school girl! I’m 21 and I’m completely infatuated with a 40 year old married man who also happens to be very close with my ...

A.   17 May 2019: I think if this has gone on for 3 years it's about time you get a grip. When you start fantasizing/daydreaming you NIP that in the bud and "change the subject" and you KEEP doing that EVERY TIME he crops into your head. It needs to stop. ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to have sex with my aunt who's now divorced from my uncle?

Q.   My non-biological aunt and I are considering a sexual relationship. She divorced my uncle about 8 months ago and got completely cut off from my family until I messaged her. We have gone on a few "dates" and been sexual but only with our hands (i.e. ...

A.   17 May 2019: I'm with Code Warrior, What good id going to come of this? It's not like your family is going to welcome her with open arms because you are now "dating" her. "This is a monumentally stupid idea." AMEN to that. You do know that HALF the world... (read in full...)

Do we change our views in regards to relationships as we get older?

Q.   Silly question maybe but in terms of how you are as a person do we change all that much from the ages of twenty to forty when it comes to how we view relationships? My partner says he didn't know what love was, had nothing to compare it to, looks ...

A.   17 May 2019: My oldest brother in law married a young woman after having dated for 3 months because he has knocked her up. It's what was expected, in a way. I don't think there was a lot of love going on there AT ALL. She was an addict and he spend the firs... (read in full...)

How do I calm down during foreplay?

Q.   I'm very new to the world of sex, having never been in a relationship before. I now have a girlfriend who is equally as inexperienced. We've never actually had intercourse but I was wondering what people actually do during sex/foreplay when it comes ...

A.   16 May 2019: I agree with the condom, it also cuts down a tad on the sensitivity. And it's a GOOD habit to get into to USE condoms EVERY time. Nothing is 100% safe, but it's a LOT safer when using condoms correctly. You don't stop the fun just because you... (read in full...)

I don't want my ex to go back with his former ex!

Q.   My ex and I split up 3 months ago. We have 2 children together that he still sees regular;y. I didnt want to split and I still love him but we argued too much and our relationship became so toxic it had to end. But now his ex-fiance, who h...

A.   16 May 2019: Whether he gets back with her or not is OUT of your control and really... NON of your business. YOU can't dictate WHO he can date, be friends with, sleep with, get in a relationship with. JUST like HE can't DICTATE who you at some point might da... (read in full...)

What would you do with a partner like mine?

Q.   Hi I’ve been with my partner now for 5 years and I honestly don’t know how I have put up with it for so long he puts everyone before me if someone rings him to do summat such as painting or anything like that he’s there I ask him he does it months ...

A.   16 May 2019: What would I do? End it. What is there to build ANY kind of future on? You are the live in maid. You probably help with the bills, which is convenient for him. But you aren't a priority. You are in your 30's shouldn't your relations... (read in full...)

Do we change our views in regards to relationships as we get older?

Q.   Silly question maybe but in terms of how you are as a person do we change all that much from the ages of twenty to forty when it comes to how we view relationships? My partner says he didn't know what love was, had nothing to compare it to, looks ...

A.   16 May 2019: Sure. We all live and learn. Relationships is something you LEARN by doing. LOVE is something so abstract for many people that they really can't define it unless they have encountered different variations of it. Love for your children, your p... (read in full...)

I can't get over him, we had sex once but he has a girlfriend

Q.   A year ago I fell in love with someone who had a girlfriend. After months of building sexual tension, we had sex once, after which he told his girlfriend. She told him never to contact me again. For a few months he didn't, then he got back in touch. ...

A.   16 May 2019: I think if you really cared about the GF you wouldn't have had sex with him at all. That is about a day late and a dollar short of thinking you did the "right thing" here. Though AFTER the cheating you did grow a set and stopped talking to him, so ... (read in full...)

Why can’t he say that promise when I’m having an anxiety attack?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. We we've been together since school. We live each other very much but last year my anxiety got worse which nearly resulted in us breaking up. When this happened I went through a period of ...

A.   15 May 2019: I know dealing with panic attacts and anxiety is hard, but you HAVE to learn to RELY on yourself for this, it is NOT your BF's job to LIE to you and soothe your insecurity. The more you MAKE a big deal out of this, the more you push him away. ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with his mind games?

Q.   Hi guys, I've recently ended my 7 year marriage due to my husband being emotionally abusive towards me (constantly asking me where I've been, who I've been with, telling me how I should feel, gaslighting me, not letting me go to sleep until I've...

A.   15 May 2019: Honestly? I think you are trying to do the best thing for your son, however... I don't think it's the BEST for you. I would suggest that you CUT down the time you spend with or around your soon-to-be-ex as much as possible. Don't do the we... (read in full...)

Does this mean he is into me?

Q.   Hello and thank you A bit of background. I knew this persons brother and his brother passed away recently. It was a difficult time for both of us. We talked alot . Lately hes been asking so many questions. Also, saying in a caring , underst...

A.   14 May 2019: Maybe what he really wants is to be close to someone who also knew his brother. Maybe just take your time getting to know this person without any "ulterior" motives such as dating.... (read in full...)

Does anyone here have any experience in dealing with a gambler?

Q.   I could do with some advice, preferably from people who have experience with gambling issues or with a partner (current or ex) who has or had a gambling problem. A few years ago I reconnected with my first love from high school. We began a relat...

A.   14 May 2019: I think your best bet (pun not intended) would be to contact a gamblers anonymous for family/friends support site and get help.. http://www.gamblersanonymous.org/ga/content/gam-anon-help-family-friends However, what you MIGHT also want to con... (read in full...)

How do I deal with an old, terminally ill dog who's pooping all around the house?

Q.   Sorry if this is not the typical question for this site but I need advice. I have an 11 year old dog. I have had him since 8 weeks old. Recently he's been falling over a lot on walks and not picking his feet up properly so his nails would bleed. ...

A.   14 May 2019: You have to consider if he is having a good life or not. While you can get diapers/nappies the most important thing (for me at least) is quality of life. It is NOT easy to put down a beloved pet, I know. But there are times where it IS the righ... (read in full...)

My husband takes very little interest in my life and I feel deeply unhappy unloved and lonely in my marriage

Q.   My husband takes very little interest in my life . I’ve noticed that although I enquire about his day and things in his life he rarely asks about mine . If I have an appointment he will rarely remember . Today is a perfect example . He was going to ...

A.   14 May 2019: Is it normal? I don't think it's normal per se, but I do think this can happen when couples kind of stop talking about what's important and stop investing in the marriage. I think you should TALK to him. Tell him how you feel, maybe he will op... (read in full...)

My husband wants "space", is shutting down all communication with me, is cold, rude and distant and spends a lot of time with people at work.

Q.   For the past few months, my husband has been spending more and more time hanging out with his colleagues and bosses (male) late at night. Work has been getting busier and he's trying really hard to impress his bosses, as he was placed in charge on a ...

A.   14 May 2019: I don't know what the "toxic masculinity spectrum" is all about, so I will just go by WHAT I would do in your shoes. He wants space, why? Because I think he isn't sure that marriage is WHAT he wants right now. I think he looks at his boss and ... (read in full...)

Did I lose a friend? I'm feeling sad and hurt

Q.   I know this is long, but I hope someone takes the time, I really need some advise. I am a 48 year old single mom. I work a lot and don’t have much of a social life, but I do have a few good friends and I get out when I can. Since one of my children ...

A.   14 May 2019: I am sorry, but I think it's a good thing this "friendship" is winding down. If he KNOWS that he comes across demanding and demeaning over text, he ought to just TAKE a little more care of what he types. THAT isn't hard to do. And I also th... (read in full...)

Does my girlfriend deserve a second chance because she didn't 'go all the way'?

Q.   I can’t forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me even though she didn’t ‘go all the way’ with the other guy. I’ve told her what she did was unforgivable but my friends and family all think she deserves a second chance and that I’m being too harsh on ...

A.   13 May 2019: Edit... I wrote: I get that SHE is a BAD person... SHOULD of course have been... I get that SHE isn't a BAD person...... (read in full...)

When should I make my relationship public?

Q.   Hi, Asking for some advice not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I’ve been single two years and started dating again around a year ago, a lovely lovely guy who I unfortunately just wasn’t attracted to. We got on amazingly and maybe that’s why it cont...

A.   13 May 2019: I agree, whenever YOU are ready to tell the World. If you think this could HURT the ex, maybe you need to take him off your social media. Or maybe knowing that you have moved on will help HIM move on. You can live your life walking on eggsh... (read in full...)

It's embarrassing to think I may have scared the younger guy off for good. Did I?

Q.   Hi - I was tutoring this guy - a young adult, his exams are coming up soon. We both got on well - in fact - a little too well at times. We both would catch each other glancing at each other, were often laughing and joking or he would blush sometime...

A.   13 May 2019: I think he decided to do the right thing. He was there to learn/study for upcoming tests not to play footsy or flirt with the tutor. Maybe it was a little uncomfortable for him? YOU really need to get a grip if you want to tutor people. You are ... (read in full...)

I have feelings for the old flame who's come back into my life but I have a really great boyfriend now. What do I do?

Q.   I’ve been dating a guy for the last 6 months and things have been going reasonably well between us. He is a really great guy and he is really good to me. He is thoughtful, supportive and everyone I know thinks he is really great. I really like him ...

A.   13 May 2019: I think you need to shit or get off the pot, OP You are ALREADY back in contact with the "old flame" and OH SO excited about it. Which means you aren't really being loyal to your new BF. The old flame is offering you something your new BF isn'... (read in full...)

Does my girlfriend deserve a second chance because she didn't 'go all the way'?

Q.   I can’t forgive my girlfriend for cheating on me even though she didn’t ‘go all the way’ with the other guy. I’ve told her what she did was unforgivable but my friends and family all think she deserves a second chance and that I’m being too harsh on ...

A.   13 May 2019: I think you HAVE to follow your heart in this. Regardless of what family and friends tell you. I would NOT give someone a second chance if they INSTEAD of owning up to it, denied denied and lied. THAT doesn't sound like someone who is remorsef... (read in full...)

Should I reconnect with an old lesbian teacher?

Q.   When I was at school, there was an out teacher. We got on well but I haven't spoken to her since I left, I was 16 then but I haven't seen her since. I felt that we had a good friendship at the time however it has been 5 years since I left. I don't ...

A.   12 May 2019: Just because you two have the same sexual orientation doesn't mean you share anything else in common or that SHE is at all interested. Why on Earth should you chase her down now? For what purpose? ... (read in full...)

How do you deal with getting older and society treating you like you are invisible?

Q.   Just looking for a little advice on how to deal with getting older as anwoman and losing looks and it seems visibility in society . Some seem to say enjoy the invisibility but I find it heartbreaking when I’m basically ignored say in a store for a ...

A.   12 May 2019: Maybe I just see this differently. I ENJOY the "anonymity" of being "no longer" young. I don't feel like I'm treated badly or really ignored. But I am LEFT to my own devices way more, which I enjoy. I have ALWAYS found it annoying when people i... (read in full...)

I try to be understanding but am I being a fool here?

Q.   Last August I matched with a guy on Tinder. I’ve been legally separated and this was my first venture into online dating. My ex is a narcissist, so it’s taken me awhile to work on my self esteem and confidence enough to put myself back out there. ...

A.   12 May 2019: OP, your ENTIRE post is very contradictory. You say that you didn't WANT anything serious, to quote you :" I honestly didn’t/don’t want anything serious until my divorce is finalized." But then you have the EXPECTATIONS of him telling you thin... (read in full...)

Just found out he cheated the entire relationship. Should I give him chance?

Q.   I have been dating my current boyfriend for 3 years now. Our families have meshed and we've gone on many trips together, have gone through many experiences and have even told each other I love you half a year into our relationship. He lives on...

A.   12 May 2019: He might care for you, but HE definitely LOVE himself and his "freedom" more. What is there to redeem? This wasn't a ONE-TIME drunken mistake or "things aren't going well so he reached out to an ex or whatnot".... this is a DELIBERATE choice h... (read in full...)

Would he date me or does he want me to be his sex buddy?

Q.   I'm going to try not to be biased... I've been speaking to this man once or twice a month online for the last 18months. We planned to meet up a few times but have both flaked on eachother many times. In the past he said he's single because h...

A.   12 May 2019: Honestly? Neither of you seem to REALLY want to take - I mean if all you two have managed is 3 "sorta" dates in 18 months I have to say that I don't think he is LOOKING to date you. Sure, he might want to have sex because... why not? But he ... (read in full...)

He hasn’t told a soul about his relationship with me and it bothers me. It’s all about respect, or is it?

Q.   I’ve been seeing this guy for about 9 months off and on. We’ve hooked up a few times. I don’t want anything serious because I’m going through a divorce (been legally separated for 2 years). Anyway, I’d kind of describe our relationship as slightly ...

A.   12 May 2019: You know, at your age... what is the point in a "slightly more than FWB"? Either you WANT a relationship or you want some casual. You have hooked up a couple of times over 9 months that HARDLY makes it a FWB or more. So WHAT is that you think he... (read in full...)

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