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*oneypie agony aunt

*oneypie

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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Am I being a "princess"?

Q.   My boyfriend used to be my fiancé. Now I'm not sure if he's even my boyfriend anymore, but I guess that's where my question comes in. I called off the wedding about 6 weeks before we were to be married. It was a very unsatisfying engagement, ...

A.   1 September 2014: I think the fact that you have been walking on eggshells for SO long trying to NOT rock the boat, might be why you did what you did. And I think it was the RIGHT thing to do (ending the engagement). It would have been a mistake to marry him with... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend says he wants me back but is dating another girl?

Q.   Ok, so me and my boyfriend had been together for 9 months and we found out I was pregnant. His parents through a big fit over it that eventually caused us to break up. This was almost a month ago. Now he's dating another girl and I still love him. ...

A.   1 September 2014: You have to figure out for yourself what is right for you. If you FEEL HE is what you want, then I would suggest you 1. talk to your parents and 2. talk to him. Set boundaries for what is OK and what is NOT OK. I know you think we bash you for ... (read in full...)

Feeling guilty about walking away from my drug addict guy. Was I wrong to take some distance?

Q.   Hi everyone I have been in a relationship for a few months with a guy who is a drug addict. He uses coke, meth, heroin, etc. We recently spoke about his drug addiction and I told him that I will be there to support his recovery. He just has to ...

A.   1 September 2014: I think you KNOW it is the right thing to do. To walk away from him and NOt get into gutter WITH him out of misguided sympathy or emotions. Meth and heroin are pretty hard core. They are also the kind of drug that people get "instantly" addicted... (read in full...)

Forever single?. How do I learn to be more comfortable with girls? How or when or where can I touch a girl?

Q.   How do I touch girls? I have been forever single. In order for me to have a girlfriend she needs to see that other girls are comfortable round me. The problem is I fear them all so much that I can't remember the last time ( if it even exists ) tha...

A.   1 September 2014: Err.... should have been DO NOT go around hugging girls... not DO..... (read in full...)

Please advice me on how to make the separation and divorce as painless as possible for my son

Q.   Hello aunts and uncles. Ive been married for 5 years. My husband cheated on me. He doesnt know why. To be honest Internet dont wanna hear it either. Maybe life was too perfect and he got bored. His own fault. He sleeps in the guest room until I can ...

A.   1 September 2014: I don't think there is ANYTHING wrong in not being able to forgive this or wanting to forgive it. If he can't even tell you why (I don't believe when someone says I don't know why I did it, it just happened, because we ALL know - sex doesn't ... (read in full...)

Was this behaviour rude?

Q.   HI everyone, So, I have a friend that asked if I wanted to meet up today. I told her I had a wedding to go to. She headed downtown (a 40 min drive) to hang out and asked to meet up after the wedding. So after the wedding I message her to let...

A.   1 September 2014: Yea, I find that rude. Personally, I wouldn't have sat around and waited for 45 minutes for them to figure out where they "might" go. And your friend? She is a wimp. She could have TOLD the other women, hey "Mary" is on the way, let's just han... (read in full...)

We seem to bond and then they disappear?

Q.   I'm a single woman, very independent and incredibly lost in my own craft of art and music. I'm still a student in college. For most of my life, I've been pretty insecure about myself thinking I'm weird or different and that I didn't fit in but ...

A.   1 September 2014: I think some people can have a glorious week-end with someone and not want more. Others think that BECAUSE they had a glorious week-end they have a future together. Specially if nothing is TALKED about. I think you "fall in love" with the IDEA... (read in full...)

Why am I very very sexually attracted to my x brother in law?

Q.   I'm very unhappily married, I recently separated. I have an x brother in law, my husband's sisters x husband I have become very sexually attracted to. I fully intend to ask him for sex. Sex or the lack of really wasn't a problem for me until I ...

A.   1 September 2014: Why can't this sexual exploration and boundary testing WAIT til your divorce is final? Or is it that you don't REALLY want a divorce but just some sex and attention which you don't seen to get from your husband? I'm also not sure what you ac... (read in full...)

Forever single?. How do I learn to be more comfortable with girls? How or when or where can I touch a girl?

Q.   How do I touch girls? I have been forever single. In order for me to have a girlfriend she needs to see that other girls are comfortable round me. The problem is I fear them all so much that I can't remember the last time ( if it even exists ) tha...

A.   1 September 2014: Chill, little man - It will happen. I think the idea of dance class is a good one. Not many guys WANt to learn ballroom dancing or salsa but you would be introduced to girls in a non-sexual way. If you are home schooled do you do group tours w... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to move on. I can't see us lasting together. So why do I keep going back to him?

Q.   I've been with a slightly younger guy for 2 years now. After 8 months we moved in together in to a house i bought. We shouldn't have moved in so quick, because it all ended up pear shaped and i had to move him out to cut a long story short. ...

A.   1 September 2014: Jezz woman! Let me be the first in line to verbally "slap" some sense into you!! Grow a set of ovaries! And CUT the contact. YOU are with him out of pity and he is MILKING you for everything he can GET out of you. You bought a VACATION for the... (read in full...)

Flirting: How would a girl react to my attempting flirting with her

Q.   How would a girl react to me flirting? What a question I know but something I think I really need to know is what do most girls do when a guy approaches them? Do they get inward butterflies are they flattered or am I just one more person to be...

A.   1 September 2014: Try it. But let me tell you this, flirting is a ARTFORM, most people are not NATURAL flirts. It takes originality and practise to be a GOOD flirt. So maybe just be nice to people to start with. Use your manners, girls will notice. And l... (read in full...)

Is my Bf hiding something from me? He just blows me off when I ask.

Q.   I found a woman's eyelash on my boyfriends dorm room floor it doesnt belong to me , and it was under his desk so It can't belong to his roommate... I also found blonde hairs on his clothing... I do not trust him and I'm afraid he may be hiding so...

A.   1 September 2014: When you say, Woman's eyelash - do you mean FAKE eyelash or an eyelash hair? If it's the first, it could have been there a while, and even IF it was under your BF's desk doesn't mean the room-mate could have had a girl over who took off her fake... (read in full...)

I may have been friendzoned, so what's the best way to tell her I want more?

Q.   This girl and I have been friends for quite a while (six months). I flirted with her in the beginning but she turned me down because she said that she couldn't date two people from the same company she worked at(she currently doesn't work there ...

A.   1 September 2014: Ask her out on a DATE. A real date. And make sure she understand that the DATE means you WANT to DATE her. IF she shoots you down, then you know you are firmly friendzoned (which basically mean SHE doesn't LIKE you "that" way and you can either a... (read in full...)

How do I handle my best friend who is convinced that I had sex with her husband when this is not true?

Q.   My best friend of 35 yrs has accused me and her husband of having affair. We never had a misunderstanding not once .her husband texted me about 3:45 am one morning asking me to listen to him. He and my bestfriend had been arguing so he wanted me...

A.   1 September 2014: Well hindsight is always 20/20, but talking about a guys marriage in the middle of the night when his WIFE is your best friend is NOt a good idea. As for your friend? I'd cut the contact for now, I would NOT accept a friend calling me a liar lik... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend says he wants me back but is dating another girl?

Q.   Ok, so me and my boyfriend had been together for 9 months and we found out I was pregnant. His parents through a big fit over it that eventually caused us to break up. This was almost a month ago. Now he's dating another girl and I still love him. ...

A.   1 September 2014: He already replaced you within a month, and he claims to not CARE for her so he can get sex from you AND her. Wake up and smell the hot chocolate. If I may be frank, You sound way too naive to soon be a mom. You have so much growing up to do... (read in full...)

Is my fixation harmless? Or am I too obsessed with erotica writing?

Q.   For the past year, I've been writing a series of stories about sex. I can't stop writing these stories--or at least, posting them in as many places as I can--and I don't think they're without merit, either. But they bothers me and I want to be ab...

A.   1 September 2014: I think writing is an outlet for you. The thing is you want to test your own and (apparently) your characters) boundaries. There are people out there who write out their fantasies instead of living them out. Because they ARE just fantasie... (read in full...)

How does one deal with a one-sided relationship where there is one rule for her and a different rule for me?

Q.   How should I deal with my girlfriend who states she can say whatever she feels like, whenever she feels like saying it, and however she feels likes? Then if I don't like it I can stop talking to her. Yet if I try same thing she gets mad and say...

A.   1 September 2014: How do you deal with it? You end the relationship. You walk away. There is nothing to build on and she won't change. In fact she is expecting you to just suck it up, shut up, and do as you are told. Doesn't exactly sound like a healthy relation... (read in full...)

My Bf calls me insulting nasty names. I want to leave him. What can I do to ensure my future is happier?

Q.   My fiancé accuses me of cheating every single day. He heard me get raped. Ever since then he has accused me of cheating. He constantly calls me a "c**t, a stupid worthless piece of s**t" and all these other fowl things. He expects me to tell him...

A.   1 September 2014: Just end it. It's really that simple. Now how do you ensure that the next guy will treat you better? But NOT allowing a BF to call you names or treat yu with disrespect. You say he heard you get raped? I don't quite understand. He heard that YO... (read in full...)

Is it normal that my Bf wants to watch porn when he's getting oral? Leaves me feeling hurt.

Q.   Sorry the Q is a bit long but I need to give you all the details, I really need your help!!! My boyfriend and I have an almost perfect sex life. Last night we came back very drunk from the club and started playing around for fun in order to have...

A.   1 September 2014: Yea, for him to want to watch porn while you "service" him would be total moodkiller for me, my guess is he knows that watching porn makes him "pop" faster. He wasn't thinking of how it might make you feel. He was thinking with his.... penis. ... (read in full...)

I felt he was hiding me or ashamed of me, did I overreact in ending the relationship?

Q.   Hi, I would appreciate some thoughts on this please. I am in my early 60s and for the past 6 months have been dating a guy the same age. We really get on great and he has met my family including my grown up children. Our time together is usually ...

A.   1 September 2014: I have to agree with YouWish. The fact that he and his wife hasn't bothered to divorce after 12 years is kind of telling. I mean, it is SO much easier for him to not "really" move on and commit to someone else WHEN he is still married. For me ... (read in full...)

I'm worried I may be paranoid about them laughing behind my back.

Q.   Basically I met this group of girls through my job. I've been there about 8 months now and I would like to think I get on with everyone, however, generally I just do my work and go home. I don't do 'office gossip' if you will. I am quite introverted ...

A.   31 August 2014: I would just keep REAL friends and co-workers separate. These girls really don't sound like good friends. And trying to keep up with their drinking? You know better. It's not a contest in who can hug the porcelain throne first... Do they laugh... (read in full...)

I felt he was hiding me or ashamed of me, did I overreact in ending the relationship?

Q.   Hi, I would appreciate some thoughts on this please. I am in my early 60s and for the past 6 months have been dating a guy the same age. We really get on great and he has met my family including my grown up children. Our time together is usually ...

A.   31 August 2014: Were you wrong? I don't think so. It felt RIGHT for you. I do think it's QUITE OK to be slow in introducing family & friends - 6-12 months for me would be the "norm". But for you to not even be invited to his house? And he lived alone? Makes no ... (read in full...)

Why did my boyfriend, who is a well respected member of the local community, have to indulge in this cheap theft-like activity?

Q.   Hi, I am in a relationship (3 months) with a lovely guy (we are both in our 60s) and he is a well respected member of the local community. One thing really bothers me though; our town hosts a huge annual agricultural show and the entry fee is £25 ...

A.   30 August 2014: I would just tell him you felt disappointed with his attitude about that subject. Now, I totally get what you are saying. HE should know better. BUT you are not his mother, nor his moral compass. You can tell him what you think of his actions ... (read in full...)

Is this just an excuse for breaking up? Or what does he mean by his remarks?

Q.   My boyfriend is ending out relationship because he said he was unhappy and didn't feel like himself. He told me he wants to focus on himself and make himself happy and then he can focus on us . I am confused about focusing on himself part ? I...

A.   30 August 2014: I think the distance is more the problem for the relationship than anything else. NOT everyone are cut out to be able to want/handle LDR. If he feels like it's NOT working for him, then WHY cling on to him? I think you are taking him wanti... (read in full...)

I've moved with my boyfriend and now he's putting me on the back burner

Q.   So I really need some advice... I been with my boyfriend for little over 7 months... Well he got a really good job offer in Ky and had asked me to go with him... So last week we moved... I love this man more then anything in the world and I want to ...

A.   30 August 2014: Look for a job for you? Keep busy? I think until things settle down to a more "normal" pace he will be more busy making a living for the two of you then cuddle. I think his first priority is to be ABLE to financially take care of you two, not ... (read in full...)

He says he loves me should I give him another chance?

Q.   I was dating a guy but he left me, he blocked me on facebook and i didn't know why. He came back to me saying he has regreted doing that to me cuz he has never forgiven himself for it. i asked him why he left me and he told me he doesn't recall why ...

A.   30 August 2014: You write: "He now saying i should give him another chance cuz he still loves me. " Excuse me? You should just ignore that he dropped you like a rotten egg and blocked you, because he now loves you? You should just ignore that he can't even G... (read in full...)

I told her how her behaviour had affected me so she left with another guy

Q.   My ex's solution to everything while we were together was to always storm out in the middle of a discussion. Or snap and break up with me about just about anything, and then leave me standing there wondering what the hell had just happened. So many ...

A.   30 August 2014: I will ask you the standard question here. WHAT do you get out of this relationship that is WORTH being treated the way she treats you? If you have to walk around on egg-shells is it really WORTH "working" on it? Because letting her walk... (read in full...)

My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?

Q.   I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...

A.   30 August 2014: Dear FA :) Amazon's wish list have been my "saving grace" when it comes to being "gifted" for birthday/Christmas. My husband has been of the "let's be practical" attitude for YEARS (heck a decade at least) where I would get a vacuum cleaner ... (read in full...)

Is my ex using me because I'm rich?

Q.   i want to know if it's right for my ex to be asking me to buy credit for him? He keeps asking me to always give him money or gifts but he has never done same to be before. Im not sure that is how he relates to his female friends. He once told me he ...

A.   30 August 2014: Yes, he wants STUFF from you. And no, a GUY who LOVES you and/or CARES for you would not ASK you for "stuff". And I agree, if you want to see if he really DOES care, then STOP giving him anything. See if he sticks around. He sounds like ... (read in full...)

Why is my friend treating me like this after I helped her?

Q.   Why is my friend doing this? Am I overreacting? So when my friend had no money and needed to get her hair done I took her to salon where I do my hair and paid for her to get it done, Cause she's my friend and was just trying to help her. ...

A.   30 August 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE DO NOT do nice things and then feel like the person OWE you anything. But yea, it was still a bit odd for someone who you call a friend to not give you the hairdressers number. My guess is... The lady did it for free, and... (read in full...)

I'm stuck in Romeo and Juliet save me!!

Q.   Ok so im in a Romeo and Juliet situation. My mom and dad got in a fight with my friends mom and dad, and we are not supposed to talk. But a few days ago he told me he liked me and I told him I honestly did like him, i really do like him and ive ...

A.   30 August 2014:  You are in the 22-25 age group and still living at home? If so, then sit them down and tell them. And also remind them that they do not have a problem with HIM, but with his parents and to not be petty. OR Tell your mom and that that you ar... (read in full...)

Can you really teach yourself to sing?

Q.   How an earth is this possible.... My sister is 20 and I've known since we were little she can't sing, she usually signs around the house and it's not bad but she's not great either. Well she's been at uni for the past 8 months and has been teachin...

A.   29 August 2014: Yes, you can. Some people are born with talents, but unless CULTIVATED and PRACTICE they will eventually stagnate. Some people are born, not with talent, but a willingness to TRY, to practise, to stubbornly not give up on till they have given ... (read in full...)

I am still embaressed by my actions of two years ago.

Q.   I'm normally pretty good and forgetting and getting over embarrassing moments. I normally don't really care and laugh it off but for some reason this is different..probably because this is the most embarrassing thing that has happened (or at the ...

A.   29 August 2014: Awww OP, I feel your pain. But IF you learned from this episode, then you now KNOW better. We find lessons all the way through life, in little and big things we either see, do or hear about. This was a lesson for you. You made a mistake of bei... (read in full...)

My boyfriend never buy me gifts or flowers. Do you think this is petty of me to think this way or is this a problem?

Q.   I buy my boyfriend nice gifts, all the time. Golf stuff, beer stuff, nice ties... He really doesn't do anything for me at all. He brought me a book for my birthday and a sex toy and that's about it. Otherwise, our relationship (one year so far...

A.   29 August 2014: This is actually a hard topic in some ways. Because if you say I WANT gifts from my partner, some people will think you are either needy or materialistic. BUT the truth is EVERYONE likes to get spoiled even in little ways. My husband is really t... (read in full...)

Would it be wrong to get in contact with an ex?

Q.   I was in a long distance relationship with a guy from the age of 16 until I was 19. We made it work by visiting each other regularly. It's been two years since we broke up... It wasn't working. Neither of us wanted to move interstate, I wa...

A.   29 August 2014: I think you should stick to leaving him be. He is with someone else, you are with someone else. You haven't had contact for 2 years, so he is NOT your "buddy" or friend no more. Focus on your own life, your family, friends and BF. ... (read in full...)

He says he's not in love with me and wouldn't introduce me to his family.. should I walk away?

Q.   Hello guys, I'm a 19-year-old girl who has been dating this 31-year-old Irish guy for 3 months. We have our problems, but we get along. He's fun, caring and all and we're in a committed relationship. The trouble is that when we were joking around ...

A.   29 August 2014: I would say first that it's ONLY been 3 months, so maybe he doesn't say "I love you" lightly. He doesn't say it till he means it. Which would sort of make sense after only 3 months. BUT I would think if he really DID care and want to be with you he ... (read in full...)

Arranged marriage -- she tells me her past is too dark to reveal

Q.   dear all... my marriage was half arrenged and half love. Thats means we met through our relatives and we fell in love. we dont know much about eachothers past. Whenever i talk about past she just refuses to talk about it. She says she wont be bothe...

A.   29 August 2014: Why do you NEED to know? You seem like you aren't sure you can really handle the truth, so in THIS case WHY seek it out? HER past is HERS. IT was BEFORE she knew you, before YOU knew her. Before you two fell in love. She is smart in not tel... (read in full...)

Suspicious behaviour from my wife in the context of a poor marriage

Q.   Ok so here is the situation. About 2 yrs. ago my wife tells me that she is not in love with me anymore and that we should separate. The next day she wants to take back what she said and work on our marriage. So I agree. Anyways, My wife is ...

A.   28 August 2014: What do YOU get out of staying married? You get no sex, no affection, you feel you have to snoop to see what's going on in her life, she lies to you and she is doing all kind of suspect things behind your back and YOU are just supposed to SUCK it ... (read in full...)

I am sick of financially supporting my boyfriend.

Q.   Am I a bad person to want marriage and a secure future My bf lost his job 8 months ago and I've been supporting him emotionally and financally since then. We've been through so much. We fought, argued, he's pushed me away several times bu...

A.   28 August 2014: I think ANY relationship can only sustain so much hardship before cracks show up. 8 MONTHS of him living of you? No financial help? No unemployment? Absolutely NO income from him? That is hard. Does he then take care of the house? cook, clean? w... (read in full...)

Is it arrogant to think that you're "too good" for someone?

Q.   Is it okay to think that you're too good for someone (or that you want to reject them based on your high standards), provided you don't say it to anyone else? To merely think it as part of making a decision? Just found out a male acquaintance sec...

A.   28 August 2014: No, I don't think there is a problem with thinking YOU can do better. Or that he isn't what you're looking for. To think you can do better than him? I'm OK with that. I would just keep that to myself. I'd call it, we are not really compatib... (read in full...)

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