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Do I leave a 10 year relationship? Or settle for her?

Q.   Hello all. This post is as much venting as asking for others input. The sad truth is that I have nobody to talk to. So sorry if it is long. The big life question I have is: break up with my girlfriend, or settle for her. It is more than just...

A.   19 August 2019: If I were you I'd start saving up to leave her. I think it would be a mistakes to stay. You might need therapy, but in your case you are a "hostage" with nowhere to go and place to call home. You NEED to accept that YOU deserve better than thi... (read in full...)

Is mutual masturbation with random online women cheating on my wife of 10 years?

Q.   I've been married for 10 years. I love my wife dearly and our sex life is still very much alive and well. The problem is I used to go into chat rooms before I met her. It involved video exchanges with random women. I used to pay for it but once that ...

A.   19 August 2019: I'm with Youcannotbeserious If you think it would be OK for your wife to do the SAME thing, then maybe it's not cheating per se, but the fact that you HIDE it from her means you know it's NOT OK. It's bad excuse that you "know" your wife too we... (read in full...)

Should I confront him or break it off?

Q.   I have been seeing him for just over two months. We have a great connection, the sex is amazing and we can talk for hours. We are comfortable around each other. It’s really great most of the time. I noticed when I started seeing him that he had ...

A.   19 August 2019: Why is it ANY of your business what he posted on his social media BEFORE he even met you? Most people do not SCRUB their social media when meeting someone new. The EX is part of his life. One that he is hopefully done with. YOU stalking his ex's... (read in full...)

I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting

Q.   do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...

A.   18 August 2019: Just block the posts? Obviously not written my a 23 year old in need of advice... Mods?... (read in full...)

Given our connections am I naive to believe that this couldn't blow up in my face?

Q.   So I'm at a loss as to if I'm making the right judgement. To be very brief, I'm currently hooking up with a friend of mine I've known for almost 20 years. I crushed on him hard as a preteen and we got close to hooking up years ago but when sober he ...

A.   18 August 2019: Take it for what it is. A bit of fun. He has ALREADY shown you (with other women he was involved with) that he ISN'T looking for anything serious and that eventually he WILL move on from you too. If you can ACCEPT that and NOT get "too involve... (read in full...)

Feel like I'm wasting my life but my reasons for wanting to leave seem petty

Q.   I have being in my current relationship for the past 8 years and at the moment I am questioning whether it is what I want for the long-term. I feel that after 8 years together, we should be living together or at least have a clear plan for the fut...

A.   18 August 2019: Can you clap loudly with one hand? Can you have a relationship where only ONE of the people in it are committed? She has had 8 years with you to decide to 1. tell her family 2. to decide IF you are the one she wants to be with - while it might... (read in full...)

Wife is angry that I hugged a co-worker

Q.   My wife is angry I hugged a female former co-worker/friend that I have known for 10 years. When we seen this old co worker I have not seen her in 2 years and she is over 20 years older than me. She has met my kids. When my mother passed she sent ...

A.   18 August 2019: Only your wife can explain why she acted this immature and rude in a public setting. There are other things going on that she is unhappy about and YOU need to have a talk about this IN private with her. I can tell you this, if my husband acted... (read in full...)

I left, he wants me back. What should I do?

Q.   Hi Friends, I have two kids almost 3 and almost 2. I was engaged with their father for almost 3years.He was very sweet when we first met but after my first pregnancy he started changing more argument about financial.He was upset with one night I...

A.   17 August 2019: Just because you have kids WITH him doesn't mean you have to stay with him or get back together. YOU know he isn't good for you OR for the kids. If he doesn't STOP coming by consider getting a Order of protection for you OWN safety.... (read in full...)

Am I right to feel this way that my son's friend's mother didn't acknowledge me?

Q.   Hello People!!! Okay so my 6 year old son plays Pee wee football. Their is a friendly competition between him and his teammate A as I will call him. Basically A’s mom and my husband have communicated hear and their about the boys and how they can ...

A.   17 August 2019: Why didn't YOU introduce YOURSELF? You are all miffed that she didn't make the first move, but you could have JUST as easily done so. While her social skill are lacking here, yours aren't much better. ... (read in full...)

I know he wasn't the man for me but it's so hard to move on

Q.   I married the man of my dreams this past November. In May, I learned that he's been having an affair since February, barely three months into our marriage. I moved out and we filed for a non-contested divorce. Now I'm finally free of him and decided ...

A.   17 August 2019: How do you move forward? BY knowing YOU did the right thing in getting a divorce. YOU seem to have taken him cheating on you as to be YOUR fault. IT'S not. Who knows he may even have cheated more than once in those 5 years, NOT that it really m... (read in full...)

I really like this girl but I don't know where to go from here

Q.   I dont know what to do here! please help, sorry ahead of time this is kind of long. I work at a book store that this girl is a customer of. ( we have a strict rule about not asking out customers, reasonable rule, i have no arguments about ...

A.   17 August 2019: It isn't YOU she is rejecting, OP When someone is fresh out of a relationship, going on dates or hanging out with a guy you know is CLEARLY interested is rarely smart. There are other ways to meet girls than through your job :) ... (read in full...)

I think my parents are treating me unfairly for shoplifting

Q.   do you think I desrve to be punished this severely for shoplifting ? 3 days ago I got caught shoplifting,as the shopkeeper knows my mum he called her instead of the police he told her he expected me to be punished, my mum promished the shopkeeper I ...

A.   17 August 2019: Well, the answer is easy. Don't do CRIME if you can't do the time. Yes, I think it's MORE than fair punishment. I mean since when is stealing OK? And how stupid are you to STEAL from someone who is a family friend and expect to get away with it... (read in full...)

Will he come back to me again after taking space?

Q.   I met a wonderful guy a few months ago and we hit it off immediately. He told me that I was everything he ever wanted in a relationship and I felt the same. He has a young son (3) with his ex girlfriend and I was introduced to him a couple weeks ago ...

A.   17 August 2019: He is wasting your time. Someone who will DROP you at the tip of a hat for an EX he didn't get along with (regardless of the "for the kid" excuse) will drop you AS SOON AS he sees someone "better". You don't DATE someone to get "space from them... (read in full...)

Do most men see short women as less attractive than tall women .

Q.   Do most men see short women as less attractive than tall women . I often see descriptions of ‘hot ‘ or attractive women include the word tall and cute or sweet women as shorter . Obviously individuals have individual preferences but in GENERAL is ...

A.   17 August 2019: Nope, I don't agree. I think shorter women actually have the upper hand there. MOST men would NOT date a woman taller than themselves UNLESS she is "model hot", and really, those are not a dine a dozen. While MODELS generally ARE on the tall ... (read in full...)

For 6 years I treated him as my son now I find out he's not. How do I move on?

Q.   I am a man married to a woman who loves me unconditionally. I have put my wife through a terrible heartache when I cheated on her twice with my ex. My wife was devastated, heartbroken and depressed and wanted to end our marriage, but she decided to ...

A.   16 August 2019: I'd say ANON has a different point of view and that IS the whole point of SC. Different points of view to help the various OP's figure out what path there are to choose from. And in a sense, I TOTALLY understand what ANON is suggesting. As OP is... (read in full...)

My husband has completely changed after marriage and I feel exploited

Q.   Hello and thanks! Me and my husband have been together almost 3 years. Before our marriage he was mind, sweet, loving. He seemed to be the most charming man I've ever met. He would look after me if I was sick, once I passed out from heat exhaus...

A.   16 August 2019: Bait and switch, is what they call it. He played a "character" or had on a pleasant facade while you were dating and ONCE you said I do, he decided to JUST be himself. He thought you would STAY with him, because marriage MATTERS to you. He isn'... (read in full...)

Is what is happening to me financial abuse?

Q.   Would you call this financial abuse? I go to work and support my husband who has little respect for me anyway. He also pressures me to sometimes support his parents as he so desperately wants to please them, even though they are just using him and ...

A.   15 August 2019: Your statement : He doesn’t pull his weight because he can’t hold a job down that’s the only reason. He would rather live of someone else or obtain money in devious ways then going to work. Should be your incentive to divorce ASAP.... (read in full...)

For 6 years I treated him as my son now I find out he's not. How do I move on?

Q.   I am a man married to a woman who loves me unconditionally. I have put my wife through a terrible heartache when I cheated on her twice with my ex. My wife was devastated, heartbroken and depressed and wanted to end our marriage, but she decided to ...

A.   15 August 2019: Have a talk with your wife about what SHE feels should be next. Work this out between you two. Talk to a lawyer as well. Depending on the State you live in, this woman can at some point claim child support FROM you because you HAVE paid her mone... (read in full...)

We've broken up but he talks as though we're still together

Q.   Hi I’ve recently broken up with my partner due to a few reasons we split up nearly 2 weeks ago but he is acting as though we are still together he won’t talk to me about any problems we have this is one of the reasons I ended it but now he’s talking ...

A.   15 August 2019: Yep, I'm with Auntie BimBim Time for EITHER of you to move out if you life together. If you were silly enough to buy a house together, it needs to be sold or one of you to BUY out the other. And once you have moved out, CUT all contact. THERE i... (read in full...)

How to approach her obsession with her looks

Q.   Wife bought waist trainer corset. When I first saw it on her, she looked super sexy; tiny waist with huge boobs (DD; what a dream. I made the mistake of telling her how hot she was and as a result, she started wearing it all the time. Over time, she ...

A.   15 August 2019: First of all how much research has she done into those things? https://www.doctoroz.com/episode/oz-investigates-waist-training-it-safe They really aren't something women should wear as much as "fashion" and the Kardashians suggest. Howe... (read in full...)

For 6 years I treated him as my son now I find out he's not. How do I move on?

Q.   I am a man married to a woman who loves me unconditionally. I have put my wife through a terrible heartache when I cheated on her twice with my ex. My wife was devastated, heartbroken and depressed and wanted to end our marriage, but she decided to ...

A.   14 August 2019: Oh, I get it ANON, I totally get your point. The "SYSTEM" is not set up to help fathers. THAT is a fact. It's out-dated. THAT is a fact. It doesn't ALWAYS see what the BEST interest is for the child. The Father. The mother. THAT is a fact. ... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting about his unwillingness to go on vacation with me?

Q.   Dear Cupid I have been married for a year and I know my husband 3 years before marriage. We lived together for a year before tying the knot My husband do not want to go for vacation with me, every time this ends up in fight or argument. He...

A.   14 August 2019: I don't think you are overreacting at all. Vacationing is something people (in general) DO with their family, spouse. However, 2 things. CAN you AFFORD a vacation? Is the finances the reason he is unwilling? And the I want to spend time with ... (read in full...)

Want advice on dealing with loneliness, pursuing goals and courage to talk to the people I want to

Q.   ive just finished my degree and have no academic plans for the next term as I have never known what to do job wise and I still don't which is why I haven't decided to pursue anymore courses. as a result of finishing my degree I basically have n...

A.   14 August 2019: I'd say one thing at a time. Start with figuring out WHAT you can USE your degree in, as far as careers. And see if there is something there YOU are interested in. It seems rather backwards to just work on a degree with no goals in mind. ... (read in full...)

For 6 years I treated him as my son now I find out he's not. How do I move on?

Q.   I am a man married to a woman who loves me unconditionally. I have put my wife through a terrible heartache when I cheated on her twice with my ex. My wife was devastated, heartbroken and depressed and wanted to end our marriage, but she decided to ...

A.   14 August 2019: What you might not realize ANON, Is that in the US - it's ALMOST impossible for a man to "remove" paternity if he has been "deemed" the father (as in he is on the birth certificate, he has paid child support to said child though the Child Support ... (read in full...)

Is what is happening to me financial abuse?

Q.   Would you call this financial abuse? I go to work and support my husband who has little respect for me anyway. He also pressures me to sometimes support his parents as he so desperately wants to please them, even though they are just using him and ...

A.   14 August 2019: Abuse? I don't know. People misuse that words these days to claim one or another "victim-hood". Being "pressured" to giving him money I wouldn't call abuse. But each to their own. Does it MATTER? You are DOING the right thing in divorcing him... (read in full...)

We like each other, but she still lives with her ex and I'm worried

Q.   So, I've been talking with this girl from Denmark. We met up last month and talking about seeing eachother again. She knows I really like her and she tells me she likes me too. The problem is that 3 months ago she ended a 2 year long relationship ...

A.   14 August 2019: Dial it back a bit. She JUST got out of the relationship and trust me, finding an apartment in Denmark takes time or... connections, especially if she lives in a bigger city. You don't really know her. YET. You have mainly talked over tech... (read in full...)

I feel like I’m grieving someone who is still alive. How do I let go and cope with losing someone to addiction & mental health issues?

Q.   My ex-fiancé was the man of my dreams. He proposed this year after dating for three years. A few months later, his personality suddenly changed. He became disrespectful and manipulative. He then admitted to having severe depression and anxiety ...

A.   14 August 2019: You ARE grieving. It's OK. Give yourself a little time to GRIEVE for the loss of a "potential future and partner". What you DO need to accept (eventually) is that you are grieving for his POTENTIAL, not for the guy you lost. The guy you lost was... (read in full...)

For 6 years I treated him as my son now I find out he's not. How do I move on?

Q.   I am a man married to a woman who loves me unconditionally. I have put my wife through a terrible heartache when I cheated on her twice with my ex. My wife was devastated, heartbroken and depressed and wanted to end our marriage, but she decided to ...

A.   14 August 2019: I fully agree with FA. YOU can not judge a CHILD, a 6 year old child, for his mother's "sins" or misdeeds. HE needs you - especially with a mom like that! Can you imagine if you give up on him now? Leave him to HER devices? HE deserves better,... (read in full...)

Do I go back to my ex or see if theres potential with the new guy

Q.   Almost 2 years ago i started a relationship with a guy (call him A), he didnt work and suffered with ptsd and would tell elaborate lies. After 4 months we ended things so to speak, we drifted apart very fast. Fast forward to 2 month ago and i joined ...

A.   13 August 2019: OK, your ex and you didn't work out. Issues such as PTSD are not going to EVER go away. With a lot of work they CAN come under control, but they are ALWAYS there. He might know WHAT he wants, but it's more of a fantasy than reality. HOW is ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend just going through a phase? Trying to impress a friend?

Q.   Im in this relationship for like about 2 years now and things have changed somuch recently. At first my BF was super nice to me and all was working out. We used to go out sometimes to places and have fun and he was like always very kind and sweet. ...

A.   13 August 2019: Wow, just wow. He sounds like a piece of work! Treating you like HIS property by telling you what you wear and using you like you are his personal sex doll. Seriously? You just went along with all this? WHERE is your backbone, girl? Do yo... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my boyfriend's interactions with our mutual friend/coworker

Q.   Part of me just wants to vent my feelings to people who don't know my situation, but also, I just don't know what to do. (Sorry, this will be long) The situation between my boyfriend and I has been up and down. Not like big arguments or any...

A.   12 August 2019: Thank you for the update, OP For whatever reason your post (at least to me read as having 3 "breaks", but thanks for the clarifications) however, 2 or 3... does it matter? It's WISHFUL thinking to believe that if SHE wasn't in the picture thin... (read in full...)

Taking care of stray dogs is taking a toll on me emotionally..

Q.   Hi. This isn’t a dating question but I was hoping to get some advice here . I have rescued a lot of animals in my life and it’s not easy to get help/vets in this part of the world, especially for poor stray animals. I won’t even talk about the anim...

A.   12 August 2019: Are there any animal shelters or rescues where you are at? If so, maybe look into them and see if THEY can take over the animals, and MAYBE you can look into volunteering there instead of bringing rescues home. You are doing a good thing, but ... (read in full...)

Why would my partner text to his ex "there is nothing here" regarding our relationship

Q.   Hi, me and my partner have been together 10 years his previous partner he was with for 15 years. I was looking at his messages and found a message where he stated to her that there is nothing here for him and I have questioned him on this but so far ...

A.   12 August 2019: Are you judging a 10 year relationship on ONE message where he sort of "whines" to his ex-gf? And why? Figure out if he is RIGHT in his assessment and if the relationship is still viable or .. if this is a dead horse you are both flogging be... (read in full...)

I'm worried I'll never find love...

Q.   Lately I've been feeling lonely relationship wise. I'm 27 never had a boyfriend or any sort of relationship. I have many friends but I just dont get attention like that. I'm not the most feminine girl and things like that. My friends think I'm ...

A.   12 August 2019: You say you don't get attention. Do YOU ever approach a guy you are interested in? Do you go out (not just at bar or clubs) and MEET new people? When you say you are a private person does that mean when you ARE out and about your are not ver... (read in full...)

I really like this girl but I don't know where to go from here

Q.   I dont know what to do here! please help, sorry ahead of time this is kind of long. I work at a book store that this girl is a customer of. ( we have a strict rule about not asking out customers, reasonable rule, i have no arguments about ...

A.   12 August 2019: So she broke up with the BF, correct? Which means she is now single, however, she is also JUST out of a relationship. Two things here. DON'T give away your work for free, just because she is cute and you have a crush. If you would let someon... (read in full...)

Does it sound like I disrespected him or is he overreacting a little bit?

Q.   So my husband and I live here in England, but his family still live in Ireland so he goes over there a few times a year. Sometimes I go with him depending on if I can get time off work or not. He’s planning to go over in November but I won’t be ...

A.   12 August 2019: It sounds like you two talked PAST each other. You said two weeks (probably) to make him feel that it's OK for him to go visit family without you. He took it as you want him gone for as long as possible. And I have to wonder why. You two ... (read in full...)

I want more from my boyfriend

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We moved in together around 4 months ago. I love him, he loves me. At the start of the relationship he was the one persuing me and wanting more of my time and attention. Now the tables have turned. I want to ...

A.   11 August 2019: Have you told him you MISS the time where the two of you just spend time together? Did things change when you moved in together? If so, maybe he just kind of takes things for granted now. YOU DO need to tell him that you feel a bit unfulfill... (read in full...)

Lost GF because I would not propose because I am struggling with depression from long-term unemployment

Q.   Hi, I am in a quandary. My long-term girlfriend just broke up with me because I have not proposed. I don't know what to do. Here is the background: I am 48 years old, never married. I have been dating a woman, now 46, also never married, sinc...

A.   11 August 2019: What exactly would you be "too busy with" when engaged that you can't look for jobs? That makes no sense~! You ARE not MORE likely to get a job as a single man as you are as a married man. HOWEVER, I do understand that you don't want to st... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and sick, and by husband shuts the door on me!

Q.   Im pregnant and when I brush my treeth it triggers me to throw up. Most of the time I manage not to throw up, but I will still caugh a lot. I have tried to not put the toothbrush too far into my mouth, and then I am fine, but wont be able to clean ...

A.   11 August 2019: I think it's honestly a twofold thing. 1. he is a bit scared of the whole baby & being daddy thing. 2. He is ANNOYED that your morning sickness is something he can't fix. And... I think you are a little oversensitive. Personall... (read in full...)

My best friend is mad at me for not telling him I dated someone

Q.   About a year ago I asked a question regarding dating my best friend after my divorce . To give people a general background I’m divorced I’ve been friends over 13 years with an American man we started as pen pals. We have been there for eac...

A.   10 August 2019: I think you strung him along for quite a while here. "Sleeping in the same bed as friends" what a crock! You KNEW he wanted to DATE you, you KNEW he wanted more. He even TOLD you and you didn't set boundaries whatsoever. HE was/is only dati... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my boyfriend's interactions with our mutual friend/coworker

Q.   Part of me just wants to vent my feelings to people who don't know my situation, but also, I just don't know what to do. (Sorry, this will be long) The situation between my boyfriend and I has been up and down. Not like big arguments or any...

A.   9 August 2019: You know, OP Taking "breaks" in a relationship USUALLY means it;s not REALLY working. Can you imagine a job where you work, then quit it and then starts working for the same company again? Over and over? I get that ONE time can happen, especial... (read in full...)

Why would my partner text to his ex "there is nothing here" regarding our relationship

Q.   Hi, me and my partner have been together 10 years his previous partner he was with for 15 years. I was looking at his messages and found a message where he stated to her that there is nothing here for him and I have questioned him on this but so far ...

A.   20 May 2019: I have to agree with Youcannotbeserious Either this is true and you have been ignoring the fact that the relationship IS dead in the water or he is hoping to get some "sympathy" from his ex. Be that in words or deeds. Either way, you need to... (read in full...)

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