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*oneypie agony aunt

*oneypie

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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Have I read it wrong in her interest in me?

Q.   Hey guys. I'll try and make this as short as possible. I went on a date with a girl I met on tinder the other night. It was my first ever date so I don't really have anything to compare it to, but it seemed to go reasonably well. It was a bit odd...

A.   1 July 2015: Not really weird. If you like her, I'd call her. Just say you have been busy but thought of her and wanted to see if she wanted to go out on a date with you. Now she may claim she doesn't know if she has time/is available and if she makes up some ... (read in full...)

Was this breakup just a rash decision? Might he change his mind about breaking up?

Q.   Last night my boyfriend of 4 years and I had an argument and he broke up with me. Then he texted and said he loves me, etc. But i haven't heard from him today. We have a great relationship 95% of them time and when we argue he sometimes makes rash...

A.   1 July 2015: What should you do? Not much you CAN do, they guy broke up with you. If he can't handle disagreements and DUMP you every time you two have one... you might as well date a yo-yo. I get that you don't WANT it to have ended, but personally, I... (read in full...)

Have I read it wrong in her interest in me?

Q.   Hey guys. I'll try and make this as short as possible. I went on a date with a girl I met on tinder the other night. It was my first ever date so I don't really have anything to compare it to, but it seemed to go reasonably well. It was a bit odd...

A.   30 June 2015: You CALL her, like SVC said, to ask her out. NOT over text. Just like you don't break up over text.... (read in full...)

How can I resolve this problem? My trust in him has gone as I have a suspicion that my husband may have taken nude pictures of me

Q.   In the past my husband has snapped pictures of me in the shower and changing. I told him to delete the pictures each time. I have told him he can't take nude pictures of me without my consent. This all started after we got married. Recently...

A.   30 June 2015: He has a REAL problem. 1. COVERING your face? WTF? I get if he puts a blindfold on to "surprise" you with ice cubes or feathers (different sensations) but to admire your body? What? Why can't he do that with you NOT having your face covered?... (read in full...)

Have I read it wrong in her interest in me?

Q.   Hey guys. I'll try and make this as short as possible. I went on a date with a girl I met on tinder the other night. It was my first ever date so I don't really have anything to compare it to, but it seemed to go reasonably well. It was a bit odd...

A.   30 June 2015: ASK her out on a PROPER date. Not a " I would be cool to you know hang out some time again.. mmmk..." However, tagging you in a photo is not really a huge indication for interest in you. You were there, hence she tagged you, instead of her frie... (read in full...)

Am I wasting my time even though he claims he wants me?

Q.   I've been with my partner for 7 years. We are both divorced, have families, baggage if you like. It hasn't been easy but we have some good times in our social life. The problem is he doesn't want sex, not with me anyway. I have caught him 3 times ...

A.   30 June 2015: I don't think it's unreasonable for a couple to share chores, I DO think that many couples fall into stereotypical splitting of chores (where the woman does most of the "menial" work, cleaning, washing, cooking and the men do the mowing of the lawn ... (read in full...)

I don't understand how a person can have more than one significant other and not feel guilty?

Q.   Hello all! I have a question that I brought up because of my ex girlfriend. When we were dating, we had gotten together and broken up several times, because she was cheating on me, but she says it is okay that she's with others and all that. ...

A.   30 June 2015: Someone who is 13-15 aren't poly anything. (sorry) She just didn't GIVE a fly's fart for how HER actions affected you, she used to "poly thing" to excuse her cheating. She is a selfish person who thinks that whatever SHE wants she should have, re... (read in full...)

Should I reach out to my crush or let things be?

Q.   So I've had a crush or more like a platonic friendship with a guy I've know for years. We've had a flirty type of friendship for about 5 years. We've talked off and on and just when I think I'm over him he comes back. He's known I've always had a ...

A.   30 June 2015: Leave it be. All he wants from you is a "fwb" or something casual. Don't settle for a "fwb" if you are looking for a relationship and do NOT think that IF you have SEX with him, maybe he will want to date you... he won't. He will FWB with you till... (read in full...)

My boyfriend speaks English but uses his language most of the time. I don't like it!

Q.   Hi, I have been dating a guy over 2 years and in the first year we communicated in English and then after a year I noticed he started talking in his native language to everyone his friends,his parents(which he always did)his sister,his best friend w...

A.   30 June 2015: I speak 4 languages fluently and 2 not quite so fluently. My husband ONLY speaks English. (well, American). WHY limit yourself AND your child to only one language? And whether you LIKE his language or not, it's part of WHO he is and his cultu... (read in full...)

Will it be leading this girl on if I text her? I know she likes me but I don't want to date her

Q.   I used to work with this girl at work and she has a very strong crush on me(workmates all know and she expressed her feelings of love many times). Quite awhile ago she left for another workplace, making sure I got her number to chat with her. I d...

A.   30 June 2015: So IF she does the flirty or sexual stuff again, SHOT it down right away. Like "that is cute, but I don't flirt with my friends"... Basically FRIEND ZONE her. IF she can't handle that SHE might cut the contact, but it will be HER choice and not ... (read in full...)

How do I end things gently after 3 dates?

Q.   First date - coffee and dancing. Second date - drinks, dancing, and kissing. Third date - (impressive) dinner at her place, and couch make out session. How do I end things gently as soon as possible? I'm 32 and she's 33. While I had fun o...

A.   30 June 2015: Chigirl suggest that you "ghost" her.. Which means you just drop communication and move on or that you call her. Personally, I don't REALLY think you owe her an explanation or even a "I don't think we are a good fit" excuse, BUT .... I think th... (read in full...)

I cheated and I don't feel it eating away at me, so should I keep this to myself?

Q.   To bluntly put it, I cheated on my hubby last night. It was a quick one night stand, no one knows about it, all evidence is gone and it was a few cities away from home.. I dont feel it eating away at me so.. Should i keep this to myself? We have ...

A.   30 June 2015: You should grow a set of ovaries and tell your husband. It may not be eating away at you - which I guess is OK for you - but give your husband the CHOICE to decide if he wants to be with a wife who sleeps around with a random stranger. IF he wants ... (read in full...)

I am obsessed with my colleague, do you think she will be receptive to my attempts to be her friend again?

Q.   I'm not really writing this to find a solution to a problem. I don't really think there is a solution. I just needed to express something. I'm a married male father of four and I would consider myself happily married. About five years ago, there was ...

A.   30 June 2015: Talk about being DELUSIONAL! You are not some love struck teenager, you are (supposedly) a GROWN ASS man with a wife at home, and mooning over another woman at work, how utterly inappropriate! You don't want a friendship you want to be her l... (read in full...)

Am I wasting my time even though he claims he wants me?

Q.   I've been with my partner for 7 years. We are both divorced, have families, baggage if you like. It hasn't been easy but we have some good times in our social life. The problem is he doesn't want sex, not with me anyway. I have caught him 3 times ...

A.   30 June 2015: That depends on what you want. If you want a relationship WHERE sex is part of it.. then YES you are wasting your time with this fella. Can be his libido isn't what it used to be - it's easier to "pretend to be sexual" on the internet than in ... (read in full...)

Will it be leading this girl on if I text her? I know she likes me but I don't want to date her

Q.   I used to work with this girl at work and she has a very strong crush on me(workmates all know and she expressed her feelings of love many times). Quite awhile ago she left for another workplace, making sure I got her number to chat with her. I d...

A.   29 June 2015: Text her as a friend. TREAT her as a friend. THAT means no flirty stuff, no sexual stuff and then I can't see how that is leading her on. Maybe send the initial text with "I got the new number, and I figured I'd text my friend and see what you... (read in full...)

Please give me advice on how to deal with the looking at him thing and also his moods!

Q.   Hi there :) I'll make this as short as possible... So my bf and I have been together for almost a year and a half.. And today we graduated high school... As he was receiving his award I was looking at him at all times and for a brief moment he ...

A.   29 June 2015: You have been together for 18 months and he has NEVER introduced you to his family? At your age? That is odd. WHY would he NOT want his parents to know? If a GUY hides you from his family, he is either ashamed of you... or he isn't SERIOUS ... (read in full...)

I'm so nervous about dating that I can't show this guy the real me!

Q.   Hi, I am really into this guy, you'll know this if you have read my previous questions. He used to work next door to me and would come to visit me everyday at work and would make it very clear that he liked me. We kissed last week but we're not to...

A.   29 June 2015: Everyone is a little nervous when dating someone new. Go out on dates with him, GET to know him and LET him get a chance to get to know you. Just be HONEST with him and tell him you are scared you aren't "good" at the whole dating thing, bu... (read in full...)

How often should I talk about sex with my long distance girl?

Q.   Hello friends, I am in a new relationship. ...I have been in a relationship before but this this time I am in a serious relationship. .We are this time in a distant relationship I want to know how often should I talk no about sex with her as she is ...

A.   29 June 2015: ASK her. You shouldn't talk about SEX if she isn't ready or willing to TALK about it. You two are long distance, you say it's serious. Serious how? Is this the girl you are going to marry, are you two planning of moving closer to each other? ... (read in full...)

Things seemed fine, then he blocked me. Should I just continue on with my life, and if he ever returns then ''so be it''?

Q.   I've been talking to this guy and we really hit it off. We went on a few dates and immediately had a connection. He met my family and they liked him and we planned for me to meet his family next. As we got closer, we talked about more serious thi...

A.   29 June 2015: He did in his own way break up with you. His "I'm fed up and I don't want to talk anymore". was his way of saying - I'm done. You may think he overreacted, but I don't know many people who will accept being called a liar, because the partner ... (read in full...)

I thought an older guy would know what he wants but he's sending missed signals

Q.   Is he interested or just playing games! I recently decided to join a online dating site! I met a older guy, he is 51 and I am 40. We first met for coffee, we chatted for a few hours and all went well! He was consistent in his persist with r...

A.   29 June 2015: Yep, I agree with SVC He is looking for sex. Buying sheets when out with you and being suggestive was HIM testing the waters, you SHOT him down, so he went "slightly quiet" for a little while then did the whole "are you available Friday... (read in full...)

Ex boyfriend treats me as his girlfriend

Q.   My ex and I have been broken up for almost 5mos now. We didn't see each other for the first 3mos but within the last 2mos we have been hanging it out. We were together for a year. We did have sex a few times here and there but I don't feel bad about ...

A.   29 June 2015: I think him being nice... his him "paying" for the free sex and the GF experience, basically. As you two are now it's NOT really a friendship (because sex is involved). But he enjoys your company, he just doesn't want to date you. It's a "sorta" ... (read in full...)

I love my boyfriend but its mentally draining to be with him

Q.   Hi all, Thank you in advance for taking the time to read my question. I am having some trouble with my relationship and would really appreciate some help in figuring out the problem. I met my boyfriend 7 months ago at my new job. If I’m hon...

A.   29 June 2015: I think he talked a BIT smack about his ex-gf that SHE was clingy, when in fact HE is/was the clingy one, he just USED that as an excuse as to WHY he broke up with her. He made HER look bad, so HE didn't look bad in your eyes. GET what I am sayin... (read in full...)

How could he go from being the (I thought) love of my life to marrying another girl five months after we broke up and leave me when I was feeling vulnerable?

Q.   Hi, I went through a terrible breakup in December. We were in a long distance relationship for 4.5 years at the time of breakup. Last year while I was finishing my masters I got placed at the first company that visited our campus (Top company in ...

A.   29 June 2015: Good for you in having moved on and even better that you NEVER had sex with him. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Was it wrong that I wanted to share a dance with him? He's unhappy with me. My friends say I should leave him.

Q.   Hi all, so lately my friends have been telling me I should leave my boyfriend.. We've been together for a year and a half.. So this is what happened. We graduated and we had a grad ball for us to celebrate and have a good time. So a day before ...

A.   29 June 2015: No it's not wrong to want to SHARE a dance with a BF at a BALL, but it wasn't wrong for him to say no thanks either. Honestly, instead of tying to manipulate him (with the drama and tears) you should have asked another boy to dance - bet you that... (read in full...)

I found a hotel key in my fiance's pocket. Help ! I don't know what to do

Q.   I was doing the laundry last night and I found a hotel key in my fiance's pocket. The day before, he had gone off to run an errand as well as pick up the food shopping and he took so long I started to get worried about him. A trip that should h...

A.   29 June 2015: Obviously, YOU know him better than us. But I do think he was lying. He was straggling to make up a lie you "might" swallow and thus told you two "different" lies - one that he got the key card a couple of days ago and then the lie that it was one ... (read in full...)

Is it worth remaining in a relationship if you don't trust a person?

Q.   Is it worth being in a relationship if you do not trust someone? I love my boyfriend, very very much. Yet, I think he does things that are a little shady. Lately too, I've been wondering if he is cheating. He didn't want me to see his phone so...

A.   28 June 2015: I don't think he should give up his RIGHT to privacy because you are insecure or have decided he MUST be cheating and thus lost trust and faith in him. He doesn't OWE you to show his phone. You do not have the RIGHT to go through his phone, J... (read in full...)

I'm legally changing my full name by law for the health of my mind...

Q.   Dear Cupid Readers Have you got any advice or guidance for a legal name change? My past has been painful and life experience has been full of regrets. Certain events have felt so crucifying to the heart that I've decided to change my name i...

A.   28 June 2015: I guess it would REALLY depend on the exact reason. Just changing a name doesn't change WHO you are or where you came from. BUT I can imagine someone who has a VERY specific name (surname) or is related to some ghastly serial killer, might wa... (read in full...)

Is it stupid to be in a FWB knowing its not going to lead to anything serious?

Q.   So im fwb with a girl I know, been around 9 months now. We get along really well, have a great sex life but I have a few questions I hope you guys can help me with. 1. Do you think it's stupid to be fwb knowing that it's not leading to anyth...

A.   28 June 2015: 1. "Is it stupid to be in a FWB knowing its not going to lead to anything serious?" Yes, IF you ARE looking for a relationship. Then yes, it's stupid. 2. I don't like her friends... Well you are NOT her BF, nor do you GET a say in whom sh... (read in full...)

We have an amazing connection but he says we'll meet up and then never contacts me till its too late!

Q.   Hey everyone,here is my problem So this guy I have been seeing we have been on 5 dates to now and it's been very on and off there is no spontaneity,no flow..he disappears then comes right back and ask if we could meet up!last date I told him I find ...

A.   28 June 2015: Yep is is a FLAKE. And not a "special snowflake" kind, but a FLAKE. Telling you that "he can't tell you what to do (in regards to a dinner offer with another man) but that he would "feel" bad if you did go - is PURE manipulation. And honestly,... (read in full...)

Does his comment mean he isn't thinking into a future with me?

Q.   I have a question about something my boyfriend said, but here's some background first: I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now. We're both the type who are marriage minded, and he has said he is dating me with the end goal of marriage. ...

A.   28 June 2015: I agree with Ciar, I think you are reading too much into it. However, why is children a "grouch subject" - if he doesn't WANT kids and YOU do, then you ARE wasting your time with him. He isn't going to change his mind and I bet you, neither ... (read in full...)

Are my concerns justified ? He's joined the army and I'm worried that the army will change him and our relationship.

Q.   Ok so I just got married to a guy I have been with for about three and a half years. I love him so much, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has just enlisted in the national guard/reserves and is currently in basic training...

A.   28 June 2015: There is a difference between Active Duty and Active Duty assignments. Active Duty is JOINING the US Army which means, he will get stationed at one of the post (all over the world) where he can use his MOS (MOS means job classification basicall... (read in full...)

How can I handle everyone asking me if I like this boy?

Q.   One of my friends found out I like this boy in my year she then told other people and now everyone in my year know that I like him. I've known this guy since I was around like 6/7 years old. Now everywhere I go people keep asking me "Do you like...

A.   28 June 2015: I agree with Wise, Ignore the gossip. IF they ask, answer with a question (without answering their question). ... (read in full...)

Am I Too Fussy For Not Wanting To Date Guys Who Are Much More Successful?

Q.   I'm in my early 20s, and now that I'm not in uni and have different social circles a lot of older (not massively, in their 30s) guys seem pretty interested in me. I like some of them for who they are/looks, but I always get turned off by the fact ...

A.   28 June 2015: I think you are allowed to feel however you like, but I don't entirely agree with you. For a successful guy in his 30's, he might NOT have dated that much in his 20's as he was busy getting those degrees and working for a career (WHERE you are ... (read in full...)

Should I still go on seeing this man?

Q.   I am recently widowed and have bumped into a man I met about 30 years ago who is also single and an OAP like me. The problem is I do not trust him, we have been going out together for about 18 month now and we have become intimate. He likes ball...

A.   27 June 2015: I have to agree with the other ladies. IF a man doesn't make you feel good to BE with, then don't. You don't "owe" him to stick around while he plays the field looking for some fantasy "perfect" match for him. He might have been a decent fella 30... (read in full...)

How could he go from being the (I thought) love of my life to marrying another girl five months after we broke up and leave me when I was feeling vulnerable?

Q.   Hi, I went through a terrible breakup in December. We were in a long distance relationship for 4.5 years at the time of breakup. Last year while I was finishing my masters I got placed at the first company that visited our campus (Top company in ...

A.   27 June 2015: Why was your ex so desperate to get married? Was it a question of inheritance or pressure from family? Or, was she ALREADY picked out for him and he USED your choice to stay to "dump" you? It doesn't make sense to be with someone for 5 ye... (read in full...)

Last weekend he told me he was off to a stag party and hasn't been in contact since. Why so nasty? Is this his way of breaking up?

Q.   Hi my boyfriend has disappeared off the radar. Last weekend he told me he was going on a stag weekend he never told me about it until he was walking out the door. I didn't mind him going but I felt he kept a secret. I was a bit annoyed as I said t...

A.   27 June 2015: He is Ghosting you. Look it up. It's a "new" term for people who DUMPS others without telling them or just STOPS communicating and vanish. Sounds like it's over and done with. Personally, I think "ghosting" someone is a LOW LOW blow. The l... (read in full...)

I lost it. Smashed a glass coffee table top. Was I in the wrong for anything? What should I do in this situation?

Q.   Hey all... got a dilemma in my almost 3 year relationship. When I first met him I fell in head over heels love with him. We had the very best relationship that made people jealous seeing how happy we were together. Until months went by and I fo...

A.   27 June 2015: Glad you didn't take offense, OP (some do) But the thing is, HE was ALWAYS a guy who made bad choices. I know you think things were "perfect" in the beginning. BUT everyone puts their "best foot" forward the first year (or less) of a relation... (read in full...)

I found my dad is cheating on my mom... AGAIN! What should I do?

Q.   Hi everyone I feel very sad and disappointed. I just found my dad has been texting another woman. This is the third time I find out he does this. The first two times I have told my mom about it and she tried to deal with it. The last time thi...

A.   27 June 2015: YIKES! I know how you feel. I went through my teens watching my dad cheat on my mom a couple of times (once with a darn NEIGHBOR) - he would always claim he was just "helping" these "poor" ladies (such as give them rides to go shopping (even th... (read in full...)

Are my concerns justified ? He's joined the army and I'm worried that the army will change him and our relationship.

Q.   Ok so I just got married to a guy I have been with for about three and a half years. I love him so much, he is the best thing that has ever happened to me. He has just enlisted in the national guard/reserves and is currently in basic training...

A.   27 June 2015: No, the Army will not change him into some kind of robot. But some change WILL happen, it is inevitable. He is a grown man, not some "green BOY" right out of high school, so I would anticipate a HUGE change in him, just his routines and.. maybe ... (read in full...)

I lost it. Smashed a glass coffee table top. Was I in the wrong for anything? What should I do in this situation?

Q.   Hey all... got a dilemma in my almost 3 year relationship. When I first met him I fell in head over heels love with him. We had the very best relationship that made people jealous seeing how happy we were together. Until months went by and I fo...

A.   27 June 2015: Have him move out. And get some help for your OWN anger management. YOU don't like it when HE throws fits and tantrums, so how is it OK when you do it? I get that frustration made you fed up, and breaking the table was intended.. but i... (read in full...)

I found a hotel key in my fiance's pocket. Help ! I don't know what to do

Q.   I was doing the laundry last night and I found a hotel key in my fiance's pocket. The day before, he had gone off to run an errand as well as pick up the food shopping and he took so long I started to get worried about him. A trip that should h...

A.   26 June 2015: I agree with WiseOwlE Call and confirm check in/out time/ Single/double room. I seriously doubt they will tell you ANY juicy details unless it's a tiny hotel, the staff might not even remember him. After all the front desk staff might have see... (read in full...)

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