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*oneypie

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My friend's son seems to have a crush on me

Q.   Hi there, so I have a problem that I myself don't have a solution to. I recently went to live with my friend who's older then me. She's nearly 50 and I'm 21. She was really close friends with my mum when I was little and we recently reconnected when ...

A.   18 August 2017: YOU need to set some boundaries and not tip toe around. The first item of business? YOU are THE grown up, ACT like one! That means: Learn to say no. NO ONE should be groping your boobs or ANY part of your body without your expressed c... (read in full...)

He spent 5 years in prison for crippling a child in a drunken car accident

Q.   Would you date someone with a criminal record ? I met this guy at a party of a mutual friend. We spent the whole night talking and exchanged numbers. After spending hours a day texting / talking we went on an amazing first date. At the end of ...

A.   18 August 2017: There are a lot of cons to dating someone who has spent time in prison and who HAS a criminal record. He might also NOT be dealing well with what happened. Some people hide that well. One of my nieces dated an old school friend (from high school) ... (read in full...)

Is it right to ask for help?

Q.   Should a person who is sick or not feeling well ask for help? Like: A lift home from a doctor's appointment or from hospital? Or for a friend to drop and check they are OK? This is if they have no family nearby or live alone. If you were havin...

A.   18 August 2017: You bring up a lot of questions and they can "easily" be answered with a: "IF you want help, ASK for it." That is the ONLY sure way you will get the help you need. While you might be a very private person and never ask people for help is fine for... (read in full...)

Should I invite my estranged dad?

Q.   Hey Guys! I'm engaged and am due to have a small intimate wedding in January. My issue is that I don’t want to invite my dad. My dad and I don't have a relationship whats-so-ever. My mom passed away when I was 1 1/2 and didn't step up to take care ...

A.   18 August 2017: Your wedding, your list. WHOM you invite is between YOU and your soon to be husband, NO ONE else.... (read in full...)

Did he cross the line? I'm not sure.

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for a little over a month now, things are good. He has his kids every weekend so that kinda sucks but all and all he is nice.. I haven't met his kids yet but it's a bit soon for that. Anyway I told him that I haven't had ...

A.   18 August 2017: Did he cross a line? Obviously, YOU feel he did. Yes, you should have been firmer but he ALSO should have respected what you said. Personally? This would be the end of it for me. I would not date this guy any longer. There is just such a HUGE... (read in full...)

Am I too sensitive or he just rude?

Q.   Would you be upset at your BF for ignoring a "Thinking of you" text you sent to him? I can see he opened it but he didn't respond. About an hour later, I saw he was on Facebook for 45 min til 11 p.m. While he was on FB I sent him a heart on ...

A.   18 August 2017: I agree there is too little to really say one way or another. I will say though that a "Thinking of you" text doesn't require an answer. It's not a question, it's a statement of fact. And sending him a "heart" over messenger.... Yo... (read in full...)

Is it petty that I am annoyed that the man I am dating is cheap?

Q.   I am dating a guy who is about a decade older than me. On our first date we went to a restaurant (one he'd chosen and he asked me out). When the bill came he wanted to split it. He has a very well paying job. I am setting up my own business and earn ...

A.   18 August 2017: I do think if a guy (or girl) PICKS the venue they pay OR they at least tell the other person BEFORE hand that they want to go Dutch (pay their own way). You don't wait till the bill gets there to decide that you want to split. THAT is really bad ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend of 8 months is going on vacation with his almost ex wife and their kids! Is this normal? Is this okay?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with a man (in recovery from alcohol) for 8 months. A few months back things got a little rocky as hes still not fully divorced that's not final for about 2 more months. I have not met his children, nor him mine. Hi...

A.   18 August 2017: You DO know that when the divorce is final NOTHING will change, right? The weekly dinners will continue FOR the children, spending time together at the kids' school events, sports/activities etc. THAT will likely not stop. They SHARE two kids and... (read in full...)

Could our relationship be salvaged?

Q.   So this past Monday my girlfriend of 6 months split up with me. She's just got back from a week away with her sister and the day she went away told me she had been thinking about it because of how I react to things and how she's constantly worrying ...

A.   17 August 2017: OP, I'm sorry. Break up are NEVER fun nor easy. YOU can LOVE someone and not be with them or not be a good match. It's that simple. Can it be salvaged? I don't think you should try. I think the BEST thing you can do FOR yourself and any fut... (read in full...)

What is the point of this relationship? Unbiased advice requested!

Q.   I am so angry and upset. I am honestly considering if the better option is to just walk away from my five year relationship. I am really sorry but this is going to be quite long. I need some advice, or just pointed in the right direction. I wis...

A.   17 August 2017: My advice? Don't wait for him to dump you. End it and move on. Your relationship is dead in the water. He is trying to get you to leave by being rude, mean, obnoxious, unsupportive and intrusive. My guess is you LIVE with him? Yes? If so, he... (read in full...)

How do I overcome this fear of rejection and anxiety?

Q.   I am 27 years old and I get anxiety when I approach a woman. I'm a heavy set guy, but more athletic than fat. I've been in relationships before but at this point in my life I would just love to settle down and start a meaningful relationship. I just ...

A.   16 August 2017: First of all OP, WE all dislike rejection, we ALL fear it to some extend and we ALL get rejected at some point in life. THOSE are facts. I say this TedX and I showed it to my kids because I felt it was a GREAT way to deal with rejection and se... (read in full...)

I'm annoyed about his contradictory comments about not wanting children but not using birth control with his exes!

Q.   I have been seeing my boyfriend for three months and in general we get on well. But one thing that keeps cropping up is his exes. The other evening the subject of children were brought up (he hasn't got any). He told me that he had not used ...

A.   16 August 2017: I think it speaks to a couple of really unattractive traits in him. 1. carelessness about birth control. He didn't want kids with these women YET he didn't take ANY steps to prevent kids. That is careless AND stupid. 2. presuming that h... (read in full...)

He's a sweet person except when he's turned on!

Q.   Dear Cupid(s), I am very confused. At the beginning of the year I met a guy and things seemed to be going really well. Both of us were virgins, and when we finally had sex it felt like that became all our entire relationship was about. I started...

A.   16 August 2017: I absolutely agree with YouWish. I couldn't have said it better. I just wanted to add that I think the two of you NEED to spend more time together IN public where the time spent together is about building a deeper connection, and more contact ... (read in full...)

How do I curb his frantic sex?

Q.   I currently started dating this new guy and everything is going great only problem is that he is insatiable. We have only been on two dates and we have spent both nights together however the first night we just made out and I spent the night th...

A.   16 August 2017: I think your issue is that you don't know how to set boundaries. YOU tell a guy no, then it doesn't mean "that I will give in sooner or later" - NO. That is him saying that he doesn't RESPECT you saying no. That he can "make" a no mean yes. ... (read in full...)

Is my husband pretending?

Q.   Sorry in advance if too much information! My husband and myself were having sex last night, usually he closes his eyes during sex, which used to bother me but he said it was just concentration on the pleasurable sensations, so it doesnt bother me...

A.   16 August 2017: I agree with Code Warrior, I don't think he lied when he says he is concentrating. Yes, some people fantasize during sex, some don't. I do think it is more likely that he is actually self-conscious more than him fantasizing. And sorry, OP... (read in full...)

My best friend's new boyfriend is my former FWB

Q.   Hi I had a FWB for 6 months the sex was amazing I just got out of a long term relationship and he just enjoyed being single I didn't feel anything for him other than friends and him with me I started texting someone who I genuinely liked and it s...

A.   15 August 2017: Awkward! Honestly? I wouldn't tell. UNLESS she brings him up (with the name) then you could say Oh I knew a guy called so and so a couple of years ago, small world. Unless HE gave you an STD or you gave HIM one - why would you have to DISCLOSE... (read in full...)

I got back with my ex but I am struggling!

Q.   Hi everyone! Would I please able to get some opinions on my situation. I was with my ex boyfriend for almost a year we got on very well and had a pretty good relationship. Although towards the end we began arguing and bickering over differen...

A.   15 August 2017: It could happen again. It could be YOU dumping him next time, who knows? But dating someone and just sit and wait for the "other shoe to drop" it's not healthy. It sounds anxious and toxic. Usually getting back with an ex is a disaster waiting... (read in full...)

I cant break up with her because she threatens self harm.

Q.   Hi, So I've been dating my girlfriend for about 3 years total now with some time in between here and there. I've been on the fence about breaking up with her for the entirety of this summer but I haven't been able to act on it because she is s...

A.   14 August 2017: The best thing you can do for YOU (and in a backward manner for HER too) is to break up. You can't LIVE your life if you are in constant fear that anything you say or do will escalate into her threatening or try to commit suicide. Most people w... (read in full...)

My best friend's boyfriend tells me he loves me.

Q.   So my best friend's boyfriend likes me and her and I like him as well. I feel horrible for liking him even though I liked him before they started going out. He says we should just wait even though he keeps telling me he loves me. I don't know what ...

A.   13 August 2017: How good of a friend IS your best friend? Is she someone you trust with everything (more or less) someone you have known for ages, someone you "love" like a sister? IF so, consider HOW you would feel if the shoe was on the other foot and YOU were... (read in full...)

I'm still friends with an ex and my new girlfriend gets jealous!

Q.   I've been with my new girlfriend for six month's, my ex am still friends with,she babysits my granddaughter, if she needs help I help her like today, I have a pickup, she bought a big snowblower, so I pick it up for her, I help other friends too, my ...

A.   13 August 2017: I agree. You need to consider your new GF's feelings whether you AGREE with them or not. Have you INTRODUCED the new GF to the old ex-gf? If not... why not? it might lessen the drama. And you need to consider that you running around being... (read in full...)

Things were perfect then he began to change. Should I break up with him?

Q.   My relationship was perfect with my boyfriend.and then things began to change..he doesnt go down on me when we have sex and making excuses saying the odour coming from my vagina smells terible when we have sex and thats the reason he cant.and ...

A.   12 August 2017: Is there an odor? IF so it could be a clue that something isn't doing great in your vagina, like a bacterial infection, yeast infection or what have you. So if YOU notice a difference in odor, go see your doctor. Having sex without condoms ... (read in full...)

Is my sister trying to control everything realating to our ageing parents!

Q.   Is this my younger sisters way of being in control of things, ie about my ageing parents? Im the oldest Younger bro and sis who have families, I have noone, no family or partner Parents are 70 and 74, active and ok health, live indep...

A.   12 August 2017: Just send flowers from YOU? That you have paid for. Same with presents, send them DIRECTLY to your parents. Does it mean she wants to take control? No necessarily. She might want to stand out as the SUPER caring child compared to you and your bro... (read in full...)

Wife won't share "our" car. Is she being unfair?

Q.   My wife doesn't work and hasn't for years despite us not having any kids. She quit her last job with my blessings. It was worth it to me just to not have to listen to her complain about it and I make a decent income such that she doesn't have to ...

A.   12 August 2017: I agree with Auntie Cindy who suggested that IF she wants the car for the day, SHE can get up WITH you and take you to work and pick you up after work UNTIL the other car is fixed or replaced. And I also agree with YouWish that you NEED to have ... (read in full...)

Having sex all the time is really putting me off having sex

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together about seven months now. Things are kosher for the most part with a few small arguments here and there. One of the few things about the relationship that bother me is his sex drive. When we started dating I ...

A.   12 August 2017: This is a hard one - no pun intended. You YOURSELF set the "bar" in the beginning by NOT following your OWN standard, but "trying" to be someone you are not. This whole "trying to be the best GF ever!!" is RARELY a good thing for the girl. Be... (read in full...)

Each time I nearly had sex I pulled back .... now we have split up!

Q.   Hi, Me and my now ex boyfriend broke up and it was a very hard decision for us to make because we love each other very much...We met about four months ago at work and we've been together for a month and a half before our break up. Everythi...

A.   11 August 2017: I absolutely agree with Auntie Cindy, He is filling you with BS. He wants a relationship that includes sex, nothing strange in that. But he didn't break up because he cares OH so extra deeply for you. He ended it because you are just not ready fo... (read in full...)

A one time encounter has caused my friend to be standoffish. Do I contact him on his birthday?

Q.   Hey all I'm in need of some advice. I crushed on one of my friends for about 3 years, i'm gay and he's bi but not out to many. He had girlfriends for most of that time but one day they were about to split and after a night out we were on our own ...

A.   11 August 2017: I agree with the others - leave him be. If you haven't talked or seen each other in person in 2 years it because HE doesn't want to. Move on. I think you want to wish him happy birthday for your own reasons, to rekindle some kind of connecti... (read in full...)

Why is this former FWB guy contacting me?

Q.   Why would a guy clearly delete my number and then pop up asking for it again? Hi, so I'm currently 18 and last year me and my guyfriend of nearly two years had sex. He took my virginity and we had sex a few times but as friends. I know, I should'v...

A.   11 August 2017: Yep, I'm on the "he just wants to see if you are up for some casual sex" team as well. the reason you go such mixed signals from him in the past was probably that he didn't entirely knew what you wanted. If he had REALLY wanted a relation... (read in full...)

How do I make my wrong turn right?

Q.   Hello i have another question connected to the one i asked earlier , about Reason(s) from Decent man. Shall i message her and say I Really like you a lot . And i am not after ( you know what ) As i am a Decent man ( which is what she ...

A.   11 August 2017: If she didn't want a second date, accept it. That doesn't mean YOU did something "wrong" per se. It just means that SHE didn't feel any chemistry or saw you as a good potential match. You bending over backward is not going to change her mind. An... (read in full...)

He seems a lovely guy but could I be missing something?

Q.   I have been communicating steadily with a man I met online now for around 6 months, but we have been also interacting on message boards now for more like 8 months. Things have progressed to us both being seriously interested in seeing if we could ...

A.   10 August 2017: Honestly? I would just take this VERY slowly. Yes, I do think it's odd that he has such a limited experience with women and I wonder what's really up with that. Being shy, lack of self-confidence and social skills, however, CAN be the reason. ... (read in full...)

When its good its great but right now its bad.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend now for roughly four months. It's long distance so things have gotten intense pretty quickly! We were planning to move in together but I felt it was too soon so I told him how I felt. Since then things have not been ...

A.   10 August 2017: OP, This is a "textbook" toxic relationship. My advice? PAY him back ASAP and then break up and block him. You are LDR now and he is being a total dick to you, how do you think things will be if you live together? NOT better!! He w... (read in full...)

Married co-worker I'm having an affair with is now ignoring me

Q.   Im a married woman who has been having a fling if you call it that with a married co-worker. Now that weve slept together hes been ignoring my texts yet still speaks to me in work like nothing has happened.( a week ago) Im so confused by this. Im ...

A.   10 August 2017: I agree with Ciar, He is having second thoughts, regrets or... he got caught. So all he wants now is to keep it professional as co-workers. He doesn't want to jeopardize his position OR his marriage. So LEAVE him alone. You played with fire... (read in full...)

What to do with my cheating friend?

Q.   One of my girlfriends whom I have been friend for a year has had the tendency to sleep with men that are taken or take men from our circle - example one of our other gfs liked this guy at the bar and started talking to him- apparently he also liked ...

A.   10 August 2017: Should you talk to her? About what? Her lack of morals and common sense? She knows what she is doing is trashy. But SHE gets something out of it. Be it the "thrill" of thinking that she is "better" than another woman by "taking" the oth... (read in full...)

I am trying to get over her betrayal so why is she driving past my house?

Q.   Hi aunties, My long term partner left me 18 months ago for another man who she is still with. As far as I was concerned the relationship is over and there is no need to stay in touch. Every few months though she makes an effort to get in contact w...

A.   10 August 2017: I absolutely get that it hurts being betrayed and cheated on. Been there done that. (been cheated on, that is) It took me a good while to get over it as well. Coming to the conclusion that it wasn't my fault or because of me my partner cheated,... (read in full...)

My brother is about to be taken for a ride by an online Romanian stripper!

Q.   My older brother is marrying a 21 year old stripper from Romania to bring her to the US. He met her on a webcam girl site. It is likely a romance/green card scam. He is really in a mid life crisis (48) and this is totally out of character for him. ...

A.   10 August 2017: Yikes. I think it's already been said so well by the aunties and uncles that I can't add much. Your brother is 48, so OLD enough to know "better". However, he will not find a Romanian girl meek or more obedient than an average American one. Th... (read in full...)

I blurted out I LOVE YOU to my married boyfriend. Why does he still want to be with me?

Q.   I told my married boyfriend of 3.5 years that I LOVE HIM yesterday. It just came out. I did not mean to say it but I did. He was asking me why do I stay with a guy like him? He called himself average, boring, not so attractive yet said I am ...

A.   9 August 2017: Preach, YouWish!... (read in full...)

I've set boundaries on how much "help" I give my boyfriend and he doesn't like it!

Q.   Am I a hypocrite? Am I mean? I know for a fact I'm confused. My bf and I were recently laid off and have 60 days to find a new job. I've already updated my res and applied to 6 places. I have even looked for jobs my bf could apply to and hav...

A.   9 August 2017: Sorry OP, EDIT I wrote: It would be fair for YOU to take on the WHOLE burden of an income while HE gets to "play" games online hoping to make money. It should have read: It wouldn't be fair for YOU to take on the WHOLE burden of a... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has his exes as friends on facebook.

Q.   Is it okay for your partner to have exes on Facebook? I have an issue with my boyfriend having a woman he and his wife had a threesome with a few years ago (they are no longer together) being on his friend list. He also has an ex who had an abortion ...

A.   9 August 2017: Sorry anon, A GROWN man should know better himself, it shouldn't BE the GF/wife/partner's job to "remove the temptation". Nor is life that simple. A guy with blurred lines and boundaries is NOT going to stop being who he is (especially at t... (read in full...)

I've set boundaries on how much "help" I give my boyfriend and he doesn't like it!

Q.   Am I a hypocrite? Am I mean? I know for a fact I'm confused. My bf and I were recently laid off and have 60 days to find a new job. I've already updated my res and applied to 6 places. I have even looked for jobs my bf could apply to and hav...

A.   9 August 2017: Relationships are ideally 50/50 (or 100/100) but in reality, it's hard to compare and make everything "even". I do think though, that BOTH people in the relationship should contribute in whatever form they can. It's about finding a groove... (read in full...)

Savings for our house keep getting taken away by Mum in law

Q.   Hi cupids... I'm in a bit of difficulty at the moment and don't know if I'm being selfish...me and my boyfriend live together at his mums at the moment.. we are trying to save to buy a house together.. my boyfriends mum lost her job a few months ...

A.   9 August 2017: Also, OP Consider renting a room away from her house. I think it would be cheaper in the long run and with less drama. If you don't want to do that, SIT down with her and make a budget. Separate your bank accounts and come to a WRITTEN agreemen... (read in full...)

I blurted out I LOVE YOU to my married boyfriend. Why does he still want to be with me?

Q.   I told my married boyfriend of 3.5 years that I LOVE HIM yesterday. It just came out. I did not mean to say it but I did. He was asking me why do I stay with a guy like him? He called himself average, boring, not so attractive yet said I am ...

A.   9 August 2017: I think on some level he cares for you as well. After 3.5 years he HAS invested at least some emotions. So knowing that you LOVE him is not a scary thing unless it came with a "LEAVE your wife or else!!" As long as the "ILY" doesn't come with a d... (read in full...)

I've set boundaries on how much "help" I give my boyfriend and he doesn't like it!

Q.   Am I a hypocrite? Am I mean? I know for a fact I'm confused. My bf and I were recently laid off and have 60 days to find a new job. I've already updated my res and applied to 6 places. I have even looked for jobs my bf could apply to and hav...

A.   9 August 2017: Splitting chores are reasonable. So if you are both not working, it should easily be a 50/50. Him thinking that because you have ovaries you should cook for him, it's an outdated look at relationships. If you already take care of the larger sh... (read in full...)

Savings for our house keep getting taken away by Mum in law

Q.   Hi cupids... I'm in a bit of difficulty at the moment and don't know if I'm being selfish...me and my boyfriend live together at his mums at the moment.. we are trying to save to buy a house together.. my boyfriends mum lost her job a few months ...

A.   9 August 2017: You should keep YOUR saving separate! You are not married and should NOT mix your savings or income in a bank account. And yes, you should ask for money back that you lent her. And stop lending her anymore. How is 600 not enough to pay yo... (read in full...)

I've set boundaries on how much "help" I give my boyfriend and he doesn't like it!

Q.   Am I a hypocrite? Am I mean? I know for a fact I'm confused. My bf and I were recently laid off and have 60 days to find a new job. I've already updated my res and applied to 6 places. I have even looked for jobs my bf could apply to and hav...

A.   9 August 2017: Who is right? Well, I think YOU are right in saying, it's TIME you get off your ass and DO the work yourself. It isn't your responsibility to do this for him. If you have already helped him twice he should have paid attention and figured out how ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has his exes as friends on facebook.

Q.   Is it okay for your partner to have exes on Facebook? I have an issue with my boyfriend having a woman he and his wife had a threesome with a few years ago (they are no longer together) being on his friend list. He also has an ex who had an abortion ...

A.   9 August 2017: Yes, I think you are being unreasonable in thinking YOU can demand who is on his Facebook and who isn't allowed. If the conversations he is having (on Facebook) with these women are inappropriate don't date him. If he spends a lot of time cha... (read in full...)

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