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*oneypie agony aunt

*oneypie

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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Would it be weird if I waited a whole year to date just her, knowing I like her? Or do I date other girls in the interim?

Q.   There's a girl I really like in my school, (I'm a freshman in high school) and she likes me too, but her parents won't let her date until next year when she turns sixteen. What should I do? Should I date other girls? Would it be weird if I waited a...

A.   27 November 2014: I wouldn't date someone else if SHE is the one you really like, that would be fair to whomever girl you "date". Is there a big hurry for you to date? Or is it important for you to date someone/anyone? I know the classmates of both my 14 year ... (read in full...)

When a guy always argues with a girl.

Q.   I am in a good happy relationship. But another guy we know seems to always pick on me, in a more aggressive way. Sometimes it's light teasing, but then out of no where infront of a group he'll put me on the spot and argue back at me...I don't even ...

A.   27 November 2014: He is a jackass, I agree. He might be doing it because he enjoy rattling you. Which makes him a total ASSHAT. I would ask him next time what his problem is? And when he starts to talk interrupt him a few times, see how he likes that. Or simp... (read in full...)

My husband's explanation is not convincing. Is he cheating?

Q.   Last night I was going through my husband's phone which he constantly updates and deletes stuff from. I happened to click on the "notes" and the only note I found was from a week ago. It said: "It was good seeing you today, I never knew how dazzling ...

A.   27 November 2014: Is he cheating? Well, it's hard to say but he sure is a bad liar, if nothing else. My guess would be he is crushing on a co-worker, but that doesn't mean he is cheating... yet. He could have sent it or maybe haven't worked up the courage to s... (read in full...)

I was too shy to start -- does he still want me?

Q.   There is a guy who was paying me a lot of attention on line. He was after a bit of fun nothing more - but I told him I wasn't wanting to go too far..Anyway, since then, a friend of mine decided she wants him instead and now I'm regretting turning ...

A.   27 November 2014: DIBS - should have been DIBS... apparently that got changed by the spell checker...... (read in full...)

I need to know if he's cheating -- and how to find out?

Q.   Ive been with my boyfriend for almost four years. Ive always had this screaming thought that he was doing something wrong, hiding something from me. A couple years ago I found an open condom wrapper in his car (a condom he didnt use with me). When I ...

A.   27 November 2014: I agree with Janniepeg. Either YOU are so distrustful that you see "conspiracies" everywhere OR he is doing these things on purpose to make you feel nuts. Or maybe a bit of both? YOU do NOT need proof to leave a relationship. IF you feel this... (read in full...)

In love with my cousin but she's to be married to my brother

Q.   When I was 16 years old, I met my uncle in law's niece at a family function. Since then I had a huge crush on her. By the time we lived together for 3-4 days, my crush started turning into love towards her. But she didn't knew anything about it. ...

A.   26 November 2014: Have you talked to your parents?... (read in full...)

Should I follow my instincts and just walk away before it's too late, or tell my G/f up front that her lack of interest/effort is becoming a cause for concern?

Q.   Hello all. Just wondering what people's thoughts were on this situation: My g/f and I have been together for just over a year. We live about 25miles apart, and we usually see each other once or twice a week and every other weekend. The...

A.   26 November 2014: Well, at least IF you bring it up, you will know where you stand? And it will be "easier" to walk away, knowing you TRIED? She will HAVE to react one way or another. And then YOU can decide what your next move is. If that makes sense. I'm a l... (read in full...)

Are these emails part of a head game?

Q.   Why does my ex send bizarre meaningless emails? I broke up with my ex 15 mths ago, I have 2 kids with him, I had to go no contact as he was violent and malipuative and I felt I could not get over him if I stayed friends. He has met someone else and...

A.   26 November 2014: Well, I think it's his MO. You said he used to do the same to his ex while with you. It's a way of not entirely letting them go. It's like a constant reminder that "hey, I'm IN your life whether you want me to or not". You already said he was ... (read in full...)

I was too shy to start -- does he still want me?

Q.   There is a guy who was paying me a lot of attention on line. He was after a bit of fun nothing more - but I told him I wasn't wanting to go too far..Anyway, since then, a friend of mine decided she wants him instead and now I'm regretting turning ...

A.   26 November 2014: So he is talking to BOTH you and your friend? And your friend is now calling dips? I had to check your age, because I seriously didn't think people in their 40's called DIPS on a guy. I thought that was a preteen thing. If he is talking to yo... (read in full...)

His ex deliberately messed with our vacation plans

Q.   Right now my partners ex girlfriend is causing a massive family row that for whatever reason she is blaming completely on me, and I don't know how to respond or what to do and I hope someone can offer some advice. So next summer we are planning ...

A.   26 November 2014: I would have to ask your BF if it's worth the fighting or of this is a battle not worth it. The fact that she is blaming you, seems so off base to me, but I guess since you planned the vacation, YOU should have the blame. I think the only FAIR thi... (read in full...)

How can I demonstrate that I'm fun and that I like him without actually telling him?

Q.   Hi I have classes with a guy I really like we sit next to each other. We kind of have a love hate relationship. We have a laugh and I really like him but at the same time he annoys me so much! What can I do about this? How can I demonstrate that I'm ...

A.   26 November 2014: By being yourself, and not believing you have to "prove" anything to this guy to "make" him like you back. Maybe cut down a little of the banter and actually TALK about thing that matters to you? Get to know who he really is, behind the "persona... (read in full...)

Can I believe what he says about sex before marriage? Or is this man just saying these things to have sex?

Q.   I am from religious family. I met a guy who is very nice. He wants sex before marriage but I am not ready for that. He believe if we do sex before marriage so we could decide that we are good for each other or not for (marriage ) long term . ...

A.   26 November 2014: If you are in your 30's and have waited THIS long to marry a man where you are BOTH virgins, then HE isn't it for you. For many people though, being compatible sexually as well as spiritually, emotionally, and so forth, is equally importan... (read in full...)

Why would you leave the best relationship you ever had over a surmountable problem.

Q.   Hey guys, This past Friday my boyfriends of a little over a year broke up with me. Despite my embarrassing pleas he would not reconsider. The reason he gave for the breakup was that despite my having been the best girlfriend he had ever had and...

A.   25 November 2014: If fighting and verbal abuse/name calling was becoming the norm? Then yes, I'd walk away. Saying things in the heat of the moment can happen, I get that. Been there done that. BUT once you put stuff OUT THERE you can't take it back, ever. No matte... (read in full...)

She's taking dancing lessons with her ex!

Q.   My girlfriend of about 4 months teaches ballroom dancing, and is still learning -of course. Overall, our relationship is good -- we acknowledge we love each other all the time. I don't dance, but that's ok. Here's the problem. Once a week she driv...

A.   25 November 2014: I'd ask to be allowed to come watch, maybe that will settle your feelings? Or maybe suggest that YOU could become her partner instead? ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my new partner I want to be tested for STI's?

Q.   Hello, I have recently entered a new relationship after being in a previous relationship lasting roughly a year. My last relationship ended because of lots of trust issues. Anyway I want to go to a sexual health clinic and get tested for STIs. I ...

A.   25 November 2014: Pretty much what SVC said. It's pure and simple common sense to get tested when having a new sexual partner. And I would frankly NOT date a guy who wasn't willing to get tested. My husband and I did a full panel (including HIV) before we even h... (read in full...)

What's the deal with this girl I met online? Is she pissed at me? Buyer's remorse? Or is it simply a change of heart?

Q.   Hey everyone, So, I met this girl on OKCupid. I made a profile with a contrejour picture (basically a picture with the shadow of a person against the sun) and was fooling around with the website. Then we struck and conversation and she suggeste...

A.   25 November 2014: You moved WAY to fast, buddy. And first date on your couch? Why not offer her that she could sleep on your couch and that you would behave like a gentleman and take her to the train station in the morning, when there was no trains going? An... (read in full...)

Why did my ex contact me all of a sudden when he's still with his girlfriend? He knows I hate him and we are in two different countries

Q.   My ex and I were together for 4 years, including 1 year long distance. He dumped me 1.5 years ago. I've contacted him a few times and told him how terrible I felt. He's got a new girlfriend 3 months after we broke up. I was desperate. I've said bad ...

A.   25 November 2014: Who knows? But why waste time wondering? I mean who cares, right? You don't want to get back together and you claim to hate him, so why not just ignore it? That's what I would do.... (read in full...)

I don't care about what he's done to me but he cant just abandon our child!

Q.   Looking for some guidance on what to do here!! I have posted here before about this waster of a man I've spent the last 4 yrs with and I got some great advice. Just to quickly give u some back ground.. i'm 26. I've been with a man 14 years my seni...

A.   25 November 2014: STOP wasting ANY more time on him. It's that simple. FOCUS on your baby and your health. Once the baby is born file for child maintenance and be thankful he wants nothing to do with you or the baby. THAT way you don't have to watch your child be... (read in full...)

Should I follow my instincts and just walk away before it's too late, or tell my G/f up front that her lack of interest/effort is becoming a cause for concern?

Q.   Hello all. Just wondering what people's thoughts were on this situation: My g/f and I have been together for just over a year. We live about 25miles apart, and we usually see each other once or twice a week and every other weekend. The...

A.   25 November 2014: IF you can SEE yourself with her long term, I'd say talk about it and figure out what's up with her. IF she claims there is nothing wrong and this is who she is, then maybe.. consider she isn't for you. My question to you though... Have you kept... (read in full...)

Is it inappropriate to ask a guy to take an STD and HIV test before we date?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I haven't dated in a long time but I decided if I should date again would I be wrong to bring up front about taking STD and HIV test.My health is in great condition and I want the same for the new guy.Thanks ...

A.   25 November 2014: I agree, no not before you start to date. I would say before you sleep together. He isn't a dog from the pound whom you needed vetted in order to date... is he? I understand not wanting to date someone with STD's, and I think it's a MUST to g... (read in full...)

How can I improve my social life and my chances of dating? What are your thoughts on the man I have been texting? Just found out he's married.

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am a successful career lady but my social life sucks. I have never had a boyfriend or sex mainly because I always meet rejections (maybe because I am physically disabled thus, less attractive). I do not believe in FWBs but a decent r...

A.   25 November 2014: If you are looking for a relationship, this guy ISN'T it. Yes, he should have told you that he is married. Instead he lead you on. He even made plans for visiting? And he would have to "sleep over"? Don't you see that is not a good idea? Now h... (read in full...)

I like him but I'm not interested in FWB

Q.   Hey, I am in a middle of something I am trying to figure out so I need your help.. So, I met this guy a year ago,and he told me he liked me, but I was in a relationship so I didn't give him chance for a conversation or anything else. ...

A.   25 November 2014: Yep I would agree with the walk away group as well. HE is not looking at you as a serious GF, but as a booty call/FWB kind of hook up girl with WHOM he can also do "relationshippy" things with such as +1 invitations. Him being jealous is a red... (read in full...)

I don't want him to feel he can disrespect me

Q.   Me and the guy I'm seeing were having a phone conversation. I'd be feeling a little down because he's not very affectionate and generally i feel like he takes me for granted. While I was speaking on this I could hear him watching a girl's snapchat ...

A.   24 November 2014:  Don't contact him and if he contact you back, just tell him it's not working out. HE is looking at SNAPCHATS with another person while on the phone with you, you know what that means? IT mean you are NOT a priority to him, he doesn't resp... (read in full...)

I Like A Hipster Guy But He's Often Negative - Is He Not Worth It?

Q.   I like a hipster guy I know right now, but, though he's cute, I'm not sure if I should ask him out or not. We share many interests, which is good, and he's really keen about some of them too, but sometimes he sees so ironic and cynical I can't ...

A.   24 November 2014: Good grief, he sounds like he is NOT a good match for you. Some people like that, others don't. You barely know him but you have already seen through him and found things you don't like. That doesn't sound like a girl who is interested in the guy.... (read in full...)

Could his girlfriend have deleted my message?

Q.   ok so i sent my ex boyfriend a text message on a! iphone 5 asking if our little girl has been ok because she wasnt feeling the best! he also has a iphone and told me he never received the text and showed me a screenshot to prove it! cant remember if ...

A.   24 November 2014: I agree with SVC Texting is not for important stuff like your child's health. The thing is, when you didn't hear back, why not simply call? If she deleted what can you do? What can he do? I know she is the "new" GF but I can't imagine a girl b... (read in full...)

Boyfriend cheated -- what do I do?

Q.   First, thank you so much for reading this, I really will appreciate any advice! This happened a couple of weeks ago. My boyfriend (of about 10 months) told me the morning after it happened. He and his friend, his friend's girlfriend, and ...

A.   24 November 2014: I am of the belief that cheating is an absolute deal-breaker, but here is a case where I, like YouWish, can see why you gave him a second chance. However, you are STILL feeling the betrayal. Which is why I think it's so hard for you to let go. ... (read in full...)

How can I manage being the good stepmother despite the poison his ex pours into their childrens' heads!

Q.   Hi everyone Hope you can give me some advice on my situation..bear with me though as it's quite a long one! I am due to be married next year, my fiancé is a good man, we have been together 3 years etc. he has 2 kids from a previous relationshi...

A.   24 November 2014: Don't go through with the marriage til this is sorted. This is NO way to start a marriage. You Fiance knows how much this hurts you YET, what is he doing to fix it? And even if it makes you feel "mean" STOP catering to these kids to the extend t... (read in full...)

Confused, but better than most!

Q.   I have been married for 8 year and have known my wife for 10. I have a near photographic memory and remember many things that people tell me. 10 years ago I contracted an STD from my wife. She found out she had it from a medical checkup. No big ...

A.   24 November 2014:  Dude look up Retroactive Jealousy. Uncle Yoos have posted some good info on it here on DC. You are being upset over something NO ONE can change, not you, not your wife NO ONE. Depending on WHAT kind of STD she had, it could have been the f... (read in full...)

I need to end this unstable relationship without anybody getting hurt physically?

Q.   Hey, so I'm having a big issue here in my relationship. I've been dating this guy for almost 3 months, and I'm starting to think that things are not going to get better. I met this guy on a dating website, right after my boyfriend and I of 11 months ...

A.   23 November 2014: Call him and break up, DO NOT do it in person. Tell him you don't feel a "spark" when you are together (I would NOT tell him he actually scares and FREAKS you out) - that you have thought about ending it for a while. Wish him well, then CUT the ... (read in full...)

Why do women cheat?

Q.   I don't mean to sound sexist or come off as judgemental I'm just really curious as to why married women cheat? I mean I can understand why men cheat, they produce sperm like every freakin day of their life so of course they're gonna wanna let ...

A.   22 November 2014: I actually forgot the most important factor... Men and Women cheat because they MAKE a choice to do so. Just like those who stay monogamous CHOOSES to stay monogamous. Gender really doesn't matter when it comes to cheating. It's a choice.... (read in full...)

I hesitate to get involved with him when his ex is still in the picture

Q.   Hi, quick question. I've been talking to a guy I met for quite a while he's so nice we haven't been out on a date yet he keeps saying we will. The thing is he's still so involved with his ex, I'm not sure if I want to get involved in a me...

A.   22 November 2014: Oh, don't just back away, run, girl. He is NOT single - he is two-timing the both of you. And the worst part, you already know this. You don't go away on a week-end with your EX gf is you are "courting" another girl.. Come on, use some common s... (read in full...)

Decode this Text PLEASE!

Q.   What does this mean Help! I text him after a couple of days of no communication. I asked him how he was and he wrote back "Super Busy" I text back "ok and he responded back fast by saying "Please don't read into this I am super busy" seeing him for ...

A.   22 November 2014: It means he is BUSY - might be a "I can't talk right now" - I think he knows you better then you know yourself, because he made SURE to SPEND the time telling you not to read more into it. Yet, here we are. I would just let him know to CALL you... (read in full...)

'Tears' in my foreskin?

Q.   hi, quite recently i have noticed 3-4 vertical 'tears' on the topside of my penis right on the tip of my foreskin, it is now painful to retract my foreskin obviously i cant have sex or masturbate... i am very hygienic and shower every day and i am ...

A.   22 November 2014: Go see your doctor. Best thing you can do for you, and your penis.... (read in full...)

Would he say he wants kids if he wasn't serious?

Q.   Just wondering when a man is ready for a baby will it say it straight out or drop hints. May guy said he wants a baby, his at that stage of his life where his thinking of family, his 39 in jan, successful career, women he has had relationship lon...

A.   22 November 2014: I think SOME men will say they want children, because MANY women wants one or two. And wanting children makes a guy seem a "better" mate, more "family-oriented" then one who doesn't. Does it mean he is lying? not necessarily. Does a man sa... (read in full...)

My best friend freaked out over the 'maid of honor' title

Q.   My Best friend just completely freaked out on me because she isn't going to be my Maid of Honor. Best friend and I have been best friends for over 20 years. We have both been there for each other in good times and bad. I was the maid of honor at...

A.   21 November 2014: Let her stew. Don't contact her, I think SHE needs to be the one reaching out to you and yes, apologizing. She might however feel slighted. If you had offered her a Matron of honor, (she is married, right?) she might not have been as upset, b... (read in full...)

He wants to take care of me and finance my education, but ...

Q.   i seriously need help. im a 16 year old and a married man of over 40 years has been chasing me for sometime now, ar first i turned hi down but later on we became friends and got talking. he promises to take care of me and finance my studies, he is ...

A.   21 November 2014: You are 16 years old. This OLD dude wants to BUY you, like a piece of meat in the store. He is DANGLING the "I will pay for your education" in front of you to make his offer more enticing. My guess is he KNOWS you are a girl with a conscience who ... (read in full...)

Do we let this go, not being invited to fiance's grand child's 1st birthday?

Q.   My fiancé's daughter had their first child and it's my fiancé's first grand child. My fiancé is divorced. His daughter is close to her mother and her in-laws. I was not invited to the baby shower that the daughter's grandma (her mother's mother)...

A.   21 November 2014: I would just send a lovely present and card, that way she knows you both are thinking of her and the baby. Hopefully at some point in time the daughter will realize that the stories her mom told about her Dad aren't all true. One of my bes... (read in full...)

Is it something I did or is he no longer interested?

Q.   I have recently started something with a guy I have known for many years now. I'm 21 and he is 23. Although we have always been on friendly terms and I frequently run into him at social functions, I've rarely spent time with him one on one. This ...

A.   21 November 2014: I think he had a crush on you when you were dating Mark and that it was a bit of a "notch in the bedpost" for him, when you two first hooked up. He doesn't WANT a relationship with you, and I think while sex might be great he feels guilty (... (read in full...)

Is my daughter having a second affair?

Q.   I am concerned about my daughter, I will give you some background information she has a child with her former friends dad who was married at the time. I don't need to say why they are no longer friends. This is all came out when the baby was born. I ...

A.   21 November 2014: I don't blame you for being disappointed. She has already shown that she makes "bad" moral choices. Like making a child with a FRIEND'S dad, who also happened to be married. I can't say I wouldn't be UTTERLY disappointed if any of my daughters did ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to bring it up calmly and not make it sound like I'm attacking my boyfriend's erectile issues

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for several months now, and he's very sweet and caring and loving. But we have not had sex yet, like the real deal start to finish. He has a problem getting and keeping it up, a problem that he's already seeking professi...

A.   21 November 2014: I'd honestly suggest next time you two try to have sex, that you give him head a bit first, it might help him stay hard. Is he being treated for low T-levels? I do agree that it's not OK to just PUMP/HUMP you to try and stay hard. I wouldn't... (read in full...)

Why do women cheat?

Q.   I don't mean to sound sexist or come off as judgemental I'm just really curious as to why married women cheat? I mean I can understand why men cheat, they produce sperm like every freakin day of their life so of course they're gonna wanna let ...

A.   21 November 2014: My guess? Now speaking PURELY biological (like you did with the men and their sperm). Because putting ALL your eggs in one basket isn't a sure bet. And there will always BE a smarter/stronger/better provider male out there. WOMEN are as SEXU... (read in full...)

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