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Why won't my doctor shake my hand?

Q.   Hi, I'm bit confused to why my doctor won't shake my hand when we are alone, but will when somelse in the room. We've know each for a while. He's in his early 40s and I'm in my early 20s is this normal ...

A.   24 April 2017: He could have an issue with handshakes - I for one don't like shaking people's hands when meeting. I am VERY good at avoiding it. There is no NEED for him to shake your hand in order to examine you. And lastly, it might be policy or out of... (read in full...)

Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?

Q.   Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite? So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too...

A.   24 April 2017: I honestly can see her point. She IS there to work. While it might seem like "play" to you, it all about pretends and faking in front of a camera. Do you want to go there to play around with other women? Or pay to play with her online? Either ... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to be more than FWB do I tell him how I feel?

Q.   Hi I've been friends with a guy for 3years the friendship turned to friends with benefits in January he stopped talking to me and now has got back in contact with me he said he stopped talking to me as he had soem family issues which he explained. ...

A.   24 April 2017: What do you think you will accomplish by telling him? That he will start treating you better? That he will WANT you? I think you should let him go. He obviously has issues HE needs to sort out and you HAVE to listen when a guy says:" I'm N... (read in full...)

Is my relationship healthy?

Q.   I am 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We got into a relationship pretty fast. I expressed how not having sex until marriage was important to me but after a month he talked me into it. We have went out a lot and he says things like this relationship...

A.   24 April 2017: I have to agree, if you are ASKING the question it's because there are things that FEEL off. You are dating a guy who is 7 years older and MAYBE he is ready for kids, that doesn't mean YOU are or that you should even consider having kids WITH him... (read in full...)

Should my girlfriend be posting photos of the guy she was seeing when we were broken up?

Q.   Hi, Recently broke up with my girlfriend and in our break we both were sexually active. The girl I slept with is around at all but the guy is as he's her friend. We got back together recently and she still posts photos of her with him and usually ...

A.   23 April 2017: I agree with Ciar, I think getting back together is not a good idea at all. She SLEPT with a good friend, someone she will CONTINUE to be around regardless of how you feel and since he is a friend it's not too far-fetched that she posts pictures... (read in full...)

The boyfriend, the receipt and not sure of the meaning behind leaving it out

Q.   We went out with my boyfriend and my parents for lunch. My parents are visiting from another country. They have met 3 times.. At lunch I asked the waitress for the check, my father wanted to pay. My boyfriend quickly left and I saw he is paying the ...

A.   23 April 2017: I wouldn't. He MADE the choice to pay. I think for most MATURE men it's a way to SHOW the "in-laws" that they CAN take care of their partner. Your parents need not be uncomfortable, he paid the bill in a VERY nice and discrete manner without c... (read in full...)

How do I approach a guy that I don't know?

Q.   How can I aproach a guy I dont know? I dont talk about anyone special right now but I have a terrible fear of negative evaluation. I look good, I has a very modern clothing style and generally Im super talkative. But when it comes to talk to someone ...

A.   23 April 2017: Start by saying hi and smile. If he responds in a positive manner (says hi back and smiles). Just start with that. Most people won't REJECT a hi or hello. So you are "safe" there. If they seem interested you could tell them your name and/or... (read in full...)

Should I ask my husband about his scratch? Could he be cheating?

Q.   Could a small scratch on your husband's ear - behind the ear lobe - mean he cheated? I just noticed it today. He was not clean shaven. He had stubble on his cheeks. So it could not be a razor cut. Should I confront him or leave it be?...

A.   23 April 2017: What else makes you think he is cheating - besides the little scratch? What exactly made you think scratch = cheating? For most people that would NOT be the first conclusion to come up with IMHO. Here in the North, it's mosquito season the... (read in full...)

We are having an affair. Should my sister in law and I just run away together?

Q.   Hello everyone, So my sister in law and I, ended up exchanging flirty messages and then it became wide open that we both wanted it. One thing led into another, before you know it we were having full on sex and everything in short order. It has be...

A.   23 April 2017: You write: "We clearly are grown adults" So why not ACT like adults? Sort out the MESS with your partners first, that means getting a divorce, settle financial responsibilities with that partner, BE single before getting together. You... (read in full...)

She says she's into guys but does she like me?

Q.   A girl has been getting closer to me and grabbing my wrist, and above my wrist but below the elbow. I'm also a girl but am not a lesbian. She says shes into guys but me and my friend are not so sure. my other friend is a girl. Do you think that girl ...

A.   23 April 2017: I have to agree with Denizen, grabbing your arm doesn't automatically mean sexual attraction or desire. There isn't enough to go on to guess whether she is or isn't. In what context did she grab your arm? Are you concerned that she MIGHT be int... (read in full...)

My wife's co-worker gifted her diamond jewellery. Would "just friends" do this?

Q.   My wife recently received a "HW" diamond ankle bracelet and matching toe rings (2) from a fellow worker who she swears is just a good friend. They go out of town on business trips two or three times a month staying for at lest 2 nights each ...

A.   23 April 2017: What stands out to me the most is that she ACCEPTED this gift. That she even thought it was APPROPRIATE to accept. Male friends don't give married women diamond jewelry. That is (I know that might sound old fashioned... but...) the HUSBAND'S gig. ... (read in full...)

I want my boyfriend to be an equal, not another child to take care of

Q.   Does my bloke not have any respect for me or is he is just bloke and I have been together 17 months he moved in 3months ago with me and my 10yrold son ...but even tho he is great with my son (he's disabled) but he's useless in every ...

A.   22 April 2017: I'd tell him straight up that he isn't pulling his weight around the home. Simple as that. Write out instructions for the washer and tape them to a surface where he can SEE it as he does laundry. I say that because I ACTUALLY know GROWN ASS MEN ... (read in full...)

He seems irritated, miserable and annoyed. Could smoking weed be affecting his moods?

Q.   I've just been on holiday with my partner and children and we've come home and argued. I don't know what to say to him and I hope you could give me some advice. The first two days away he was smiling and laughing but then the third day he sai...

A.   22 April 2017: I think for some weed has a negative effect. Just like alcohol and drugs. For others? Totally mellow them out. I think it comes down to the person and the "quality" of the weed. Synthetic "weed" (which is much cheaper) is NOT good and doesn't affect ... (read in full...)

We broke up and we're not a couple any more. Should I be concerned that he's recently had a tattoo of my name inked on his neck?

Q.   I'm completely puzzled as to why but my ex boyfriend has just this week gone and got my name tattooed onto the back of his neck and I'm worried he now thinks we are back together after I have been talking to him about the reason I left him. We wer...

A.   22 April 2017: I think it's a bad sign, to be honest. It's him REFUSING to face the facts. I think he felt that YOU thought he didn't want kids because he didn't want to commit so, he thought that by getting your NAME tattooed onto him YOU would give up havi... (read in full...)

Fallen for my old classmate but now he ignores me.

Q.   Good morning. I met my high school classmate online after 37 years. He is married for 30 years. He said he had an affair with two married women while his wife was working abroad. He became alcoholic too. And with the help of her mom, he ended into ...

A.   22 April 2017: Honestly, OP? It sounds like NEITHER of you are in a place to romance someone new. He is NOT the guy you knew 37 years ago, and you are not the women of 37 years ago either. This is a nice little fantasy for the both of you to take your mind... (read in full...)

Why was all the porn my husband watched incest related? He says its just a coincidence

Q.   I found my husbands browser history and all of the porn he had watched was incest porn, mostly step sister and step mom. He claims he didn't look at the titles. He just clicked on a few that looked good from the picture and waited to see which one ...

A.   22 April 2017: I don't think it's a total coincidence either. It might be the "taboo" that turns him on more than ACTUAL incest. If the porn doesn't involve kids but adults PRETENDING to be related I honestly don't think it's an indication that he want to explo... (read in full...)

I want to help my boyfriend but I know I'll leave him eventually because my relationship is dead but I'm terribly attracted to his brother

Q.   Hello there, So I have been in a relationship for 9 years. We started out as friends with benefits and then when I got into trouble financially I moved in with him. He's nice and we get along...we would be great friends. I have occasionally tri...

A.   22 April 2017: You have tried to carry a relationship for 9 years ALL by yourself. Your Bf is seeking help now, and that is good but you BOTH have to face the fact that it has RUN its course. You are staying out of guilt, pity and a sense of duty owed to a fav... (read in full...)

I keep thinking that married life is the happily ever after and I feel very insecure about being single

Q.   I'm feeling insecure by comparing my life to other peoples'. I am very happy with my life. I'm living abroad, I living the adventure I always dreamed of. Then I see my friends back home who are moving in with their partners, so in love, getting ...

A.   22 April 2017: Happily ever after for everyone is not reality. It's how authors and storytellers ended a story because they felt there was no more to tell or that the MORALE of the story had already been fleshed out. While people CAN be (and are) happily ... (read in full...)

He's going to prison for 10 years and I don't want to wait for him. Is that wrong?

Q.   This is a really unique situation, I'm sure. So my fiance is going to be in prison for the next ten years. I've been with him 3 years. Is it bad for me to not want to wait for him?..I'm only in my mid 20s, and I don't want to put the rest of my ...

A.   22 April 2017: No. That is the simple answer. What I do wonder is why you seem to think it's almost "bad" to waste 10 years waiting but not so bad that he obviously committed a crime of serious nature to get 10 years. If YOU don't want to wait 10 years ... (read in full...)

How do I help him through this rough patch?

Q.   My boyfriend of a year is amazing but has been on edge lately. He's been upset with work recently and has been vocalizing this angrily while playing computer video games. He usually rarely plays. I understand he needs to release but I'm also a bit ...

A.   22 April 2017: You shouldn't HAVE to "handle" the noise the yelling and verbal aggression. Yes, it MAY not be directed at you (at the moment but he has already LAID a hand on you, which in MY book would have been the END of it. Someone verbally abusing me is just ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self?

Q.   Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self? My boyfriend has depression which is not diagnosed but I've had it previously and know he does now. I've done everything I ...

A.   22 April 2017: Nothing wrong in deciding this is not what you want anymore. There is only so much you can do for others when it comes to mental health and those things you have tried and it didn't work out. Living with a husband with PTSD I know how hard it... (read in full...)

Should I be unfriendly and block my ex on facebook?

Q.   Am no longer in a relationship but remain on FB as friends. The man private messages me with casual conversation frequently but doesn't openly address my posts/pictures. He recently asked me if he should accept a friend request from a superior at ...

A.   22 April 2017: Eh, why not just take the trash out? With that I mean he isn't exactly a FRIEND to you so IS there a point in keeping him around on FB? Block and unfriend and have a deep sigh of relief. ... (read in full...)

Why 25 later after an affair with my wife does this ex friend want to get together?

Q.   My wife had a intense two year long affair with a single friend of ours back 25 years ago...we had tried a threesome with him,after a nite of drinking, and I found out rather quickly that I wasnt into it, but as it worked out my wife and this other ...

A.   22 April 2017: I agree with Auntie BimBim, Don't care what HIS motives are, either you WANT to meet up with him or you don't. If you don't just delete/block contact info and move on. I wouldn't trust this guy any further than I could toss him, not even af... (read in full...)

How do I speak to a co-worker about an incident that caused much drama at work?

Q.   Great site....level headed advice. I work in a high school in a pretty volatile classroom. I am slated to work in two schools and about two months ago now some drama broke out in one of the sites when I was at the other one. The situation did no...

A.   21 April 2017: I agree with WiseOwlE, Focus on what's important - YOUR job and YOUR students. I get that she want you to be as angry at these guys as she is, but the thing is it's not YOUR business or JOB to do so. To be honest it sounds like she is in a job ... (read in full...)

Why do girls do things that make them unapproachable and rude?

Q.   Why do girls always have to be glued to each other or have their noses in their phones or in a book? Don't they realize that makes them unapproachable and that it's just plain rude? Also, they do the same things on dates too and act rudely just to ...

A.   21 April 2017: Your issue is not the girls, it's your own lack of understanding common social behaviors. When I was your age, I would ALWAYS bring a book/walkman (yes, I'm that old) with me on the train/bus/doctor's office or coffee shop (while waiting for frie... (read in full...)

Do I call this married man?

Q.   I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...

A.   20 April 2017: You can stay away and you CAN block his number. You just enjoy the drama too much not to. What about his wife? His family? You think all this "fun" you are having is good for them? That it's OK? While YOU are not the one cheating on the wife - h... (read in full...)

Should I ask out my instructor?

Q.   Should I ask out my instructor after I graduate? I really like one of my lecturers, he is really cute and nice, and obviously very smart. I've gone to his office a few times, and during one of my visits he scooted his chair over really close to ...

A.   19 April 2017: 1. how much do you even know about him? Is he single? married? 2. while he might have found you attractive he hasn't acted on it. Why? Because it's his job that is at stake. He comes on to contact with LOADS of young cute girls like you. ... (read in full...)

Do I let him know I found him out?

Q.   I've been with my bf for 2yrs now. He was sweetest, caring loving guy. I had couldn't ask for a more perfect bf. He started taking about us getting married and he got me a ring. I started doubting him cause I'd always dream of him cheating or ...

A.   19 April 2017: End it, dear OP - give him back the ring, end it and block all contact with him. When you first caught this "oh so perfect?!" guy having dirty texts with other women you should have just left, but you didn't instead HE went on the attack and accu... (read in full...)

Do I call this married man?

Q.   I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...

A.   19 April 2017: Eh, why bother with this man? 1. he is married... 2. He is an ass... Block his number and GO find yourself a nice single guy to date and make out with.... (read in full...)

Shall I tell them to stop setting me up?

Q.   This happens to me constantly, and it always puts me in an awkward position. I am never interested in the guy they've chosen for me, and then I feel guilty a.) because I feel I'm disappointing the friend who is doing the setting up, and b.) I fe...

A.   19 April 2017: Oh goodness YES, tell them: "enough don't try and set me up, please!" Be honest with your friends. Tell them you KNOW they mean well but they REALLY don't know what you ARE looking for or IF you are even looking at the moment and you feel it's unf... (read in full...)

He misunderstood what I was trying to say and ended things

Q.   Dear everyone Dating has never been an easy option for me, I always tend to push men away from me, the last man I had feelings for I told him we have a week left to spend together , he got frustrated and started accausing me of things that aren't a...

A.   19 April 2017: Let him go and work on yourself. If you can't "help" yourself pushing people away you need to work on that, you will end up with a long string of miserable semi-relationships. As for him to accuse you of seeing someone else, well it's neithe... (read in full...)

I'm attractive but never approached by men. Do other women have this problem?

Q.   I am 22 and I am never approached by men. I live in America where men are notorious for approaching women. Yet, strangers tell me that I am beautiful/pretty. I talked to a guy and he assumed I had a bf, when I said no, he was in shock. He said I was ...

A.   19 April 2017: It's impossible to guess why. Can be your demeanor, body language that keeps people/guys from approaching you. When you are out and about do you mind your own business? Are you talking to strangers? Smiling? Polite? The fact that "ugly" girls ca... (read in full...)

When I try to talk to my girlfriend about her flaws it always turns into an argument

Q.   Okay so i have a girlfriend and i love her to bits but sometimes she can doing very annoying things, but whenever i bring them up she acts like its a massive problem and it always turns into an argument....

A.   19 April 2017: So what are her flaws? Do YOU have any flaws that you would LIKE for her to discuss? Some people don't like to be criticized by the people who claim to love them and some don't like "constructive" criticism either - I think it comes down to HO... (read in full...)

I thought he liked me back but apparently he's "in a relationship" , which I saw on Facebook today. I feel like such an idiot now!

Q.   I met a guy a month ago through mutual friends and he kept liking all my FB photos and statuses. I have been on Facebook today and it now says he 'is in a relationship'. I feel a bit of a mug as I was hoping to get to know him more. I know it's ...

A.   18 April 2017: Hide his feeds or just stop checking out HIS Facebook. It doesn't make you a MUG to think that he could have been interested, but it WOULD make you a mug if you actually give a flying fart about "being rude" to this guy. YOU barely know him (if ... (read in full...)

He pressured me for sex, even started undressing me. But disappeared when I revealed my status as a virgin!

Q.   I went for a few dates with a guy. He was very insitent about sex but everytime I refused him he was ok and still wanted more dates with me. He tried to get me at his place after our very first date and at our second too, but i refused. However we ...

A.   18 April 2017: OP I'm sorry you HAD to go through this AT ALL. The guy is a DICK a DOUCHY DICK. He didn't WANT to get to know you and date you, he wanted SEX. And he was willing to disregard you telling him NO. BLOCK him, sweetie, he is NOT the guy for yo... (read in full...)

Is my ex girlfriend crazy and a hypocrite?

Q.   My ex girlfriend broke up with me a few days ago. Literally the day after my bday actually. On my actual bday she was giving me the cold shoulder all day. She was more concerned with watching shows on her laptop then spending time with me. We were ...

A.   16 April 2017: Eh, you were only together for two months so I'd just block her and move on. 2 months into a relationship shouldn't be this ... stressful. You, OP dodged a bullet. ... (read in full...)

I believe I am the one for him. Is his staring at me significant? He likes this other girl who doesn't like him back.

Q.   In school I really like this boy who is my best friend's ex. He always stares at me and told my friend I was pretty but he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back. I really want to talk to him and make him realize that I am the one for him....

A.   15 April 2017: I think you should stick to "girl Code" of NOT going after a BEST friend's ex. Besides HE likes someone else. You might think YOU are the one for him, he doesn't seem to feel the same way and THAT is not something you can change. Is yo... (read in full...)

Can a relationship survive if there is no intellectual compatibility at all?

Q.   So I've been with my boyfriend for 7 months now, going on 8. It was really good in the beginning but now it feels like things changed, at least for me. He's one year younger than I am, and that didn't seem like a problem at first because I th...

A.   15 April 2017: No, it's not. I had a BF (my second one) who was a gorgeous person inside out but we just didn't share anything besides music and movies in common. Intellectually we just weren't compatible. We did remain friends afterward. We lasted a good 9'... (read in full...)

Husband comes home drunk with his underwear inside out and stained. Is he cheating?

Q.   Yesterday my husband came late from work again. This time it was far worst than the last time ... He works at a restaurant , he is a waiter. Three weeks ago he came home 6 hours later after leaving the workplace, He doesn't use a cellphone since he ...

A.   15 April 2017: Sounds like a toxic relationship going on. Could he be cheating? Sure. But for YOU to inspect his boxers? WTF? What does that prove? That he MUST be cheating because they are inside out? Heck, I have done that more than once especially when ... (read in full...)

I have my ex husband's last name. My current boyfriend wants me to change back to my maiden name. Should I?

Q.   My boyfriend does not like that I have kept the surname of my ex husband. It is just easier as my child's last name would be the same as mine. My boyfriend said it does not matter if my child's last name is different from his mother. I ...

A.   15 April 2017: Why should you? He is JUST your BF. Now if he wants you to change it, he can offer you HIS name and well, that would mean marriage.... Not for him to decide. I took my husband's name because it made sense. My brother took his wife's name beca... (read in full...)

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