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*oneypie agony aunt

*oneypie

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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Cheating boyfriend?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend known each other for 10 years but have been together romantically for the last year. A few weeks ago I noticed he had been sending sexual messages to another girl over skype; when I called him up on it he broke down in tears, ...

A.   22 October 2014:  Aww... he even FAKED some pretty wet little tears for you and you still don't trust him??? (that part was absolute sarcasm) He wasn't SORRY about his actions he was SORRY because he got CAUGHT. When you snooped just a little deeper you found ... (read in full...)

Am I trying too hard to get this girl?

Q.   Hi there. Quick recap: Met a girl at a bar and we hung out the entire night. Danced, laughed, etc. I drove her home and we kissed outside her door. Made out up the staircase almost to her main door entrance. Not only made out but she let me put m...

A.   22 October 2014: CALL her, maybe Thursday, and ASK her out for a nice dinner date - give a weeks heads up - if you are available FRI/SAT suggest she can pick either day, if that works for her. ALWAYS give a girl a good 3-4 days advance for a date, that way it ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend went away on a trip and I am upset it was not a long, romantic good bye like I expected.

Q.   My boyfriend went away with his family for a couple of weeks on a holiday. Before he left, he kissed me on the lips. That was it. We talked for 45 minutes first. He was joking and playful with me. Generally seemed happy to be with me. He kissed me...

A.   22 October 2014: Long goodbyes doesn't make his feelings for you better or "bigger" - life isn't a movie and if... it was... would you really be picking "Pretty woman? Seriously? The movie about a hooker with a golden heart, and a guy who buys her? Come on, girl.. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is not making an effort to do things for me!

Q.   I do a lot for my girlfriend and I don't feel like she is doing much for me. She doesn't really ever surprise me, give gifts, or even just little things. It kinda makes me unsure how much she likes me. Her birthday is in 2 days and I'm not sure how ...

A.   22 October 2014: You should read 5 languages of love, you two might actually SPEAK two different "languages". YOU show love by gifting her and expect the same in return. She might show love by being supportive and caring. Love isn't black or white. People sh... (read in full...)

Is it shallow to want to break up with someone because they lack intelligence?

Q.   It's is shallow to want to break up with someone because they lack intelligence? I'm having a hard time being in this relationship because my boyfriend's lack of intelligence and common sense. His decision making is poor, and his mental capacity is ...

A.   21 October 2014: No it's not shallow. He sounds like he needs a MOM more then a GF, and with 3 KIDS he acts THIS irresponsible? Any of those kids his? Or does he just not GRASP the severity of having kids? Does he have a learning disability? He kind of sounds l... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend gay? Would another guy not want me because of the acne between my legs?

Q.   Ok my boyfriend and I have been together for 9 years the past few months our sex life has been dead! Now we are busy I work all the time an we have kids but we have had times where we can have sex but we both don't act on it I keep telling him I am ...

A.   21 October 2014: Acne on your crotch? You sure it's not razor bumps? Either way, acne or bumps, go see your doctor. If it can be foxed why not do it? Not for any GUYS sake, but for yours. And for him to say no other man will have you is a load of bull crap. Ev... (read in full...)

Am I trying too hard to get this girl?

Q.   Hi there. Quick recap: Met a girl at a bar and we hung out the entire night. Danced, laughed, etc. I drove her home and we kissed outside her door. Made out up the staircase almost to her main door entrance. Not only made out but she let me put m...

A.   21 October 2014: So she texted you back? That I would say is a good sign, but YouWish is right you SHOULD have called her and ASKED he out. The whole "vague" I might do this I might do that, doesn't come off as a "I'm asking you out". You asked vaguely, she repl... (read in full...)

Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?

Q.   Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...

A.   21 October 2014: Wow, well your follow up didn't REALLY surprise me at all. Of course he would be mad at you for thinking he could be passing along STD's - I mean no one would want that "label" put on them. And NO big surprise that "some" of the profiles WERE/ARE ... (read in full...)

My best friend said its either her or my boyfriend!

Q.   Please help! I recently fell out with my best friend of 11 years. the reason we fell out was a little to to with alcohol and alot to do with our boyfriends! basically me n my friend used to see eachother every weekend we went to university toget...

A.   20 October 2014: I have to say I agree with Ciar. Friends don't give friends ultimatums like this. Your BF was sticking up for you the night at the party. Maybe because he KNOWS you aren't the confrontational sort and he wasn't comfortable with your "friend"... (read in full...)

Met her at a bar, the evening went well -- how long should I wait to contact her?

Q.   I need some advice. Last night some buddies and I went out to a bar. Two girls come up and we engage in small chat. My buddy isn't doing so great with one of them but I think it's going really well with the other. Let's call her Whit. About an ...

A.   20 October 2014: She might be trying to stick to some "lame" rule so she doesn't seem TOO eager as well. This is the hard part when meeting someone new. Depending on what you texted her, I would wait for her to reply before calling.... (read in full...)

Have I ruined my life as a result of having an affair with a married man at a vulnerable time in my life.

Q.   For a period of time from 2011-2013, I had an affair with a married man. I make no excuses for my behavior, which was terrible, but I had earlier that year been assaulted, had gotten out of a long-term relationship, and my self-esteem was at all t...

A.   20 October 2014: Have you dealt with the assault at all? In a counseling/therapeutic manner? BEcause IF you think part of the reason you got involved with a this guy in the first place, then maybe you need to work on the root of your problems. And having been ... (read in full...)

I like my job but my boss and I just don't seem to click. Suggestions to improve things?

Q.   My boss is very young (24) and new to the boss job (but not new to the workplace, shes worked here 3.5 yrs) shes good at her job, is lucky to have it at her age, and I dont dislike her but wondet why shes so cliquey, her age maybe? shes supe...

A.   20 October 2014: I wouldn't worry. You are there to work, so keep being professional, courteous and friendly. If she doesn't WANT to be chatty with you, that is her prerogative. My guess is, she might be a little intimidated by you, because of your age. Just li... (read in full...)

How do I negotiate this issue? Don't want to feel I betrayed my roomate nor her Bf.

Q.   My close friend and roommate has been dating a guy for several months now. I don't know him that well, but recently he has been sending me texts and facebook messages asking how my close friend acts in relationships. For example he sent me if he ...

A.   20 October 2014: I would ignore him. And I would tell him WHY you are ignoring him. That you ARE not one of the TWO people IN the relationship and you have no intentions of being put in the middle. NOW IF, this guy was a gOOD CLOSE friend of yours I could understa... (read in full...)

How do I stop beating myself up for my stupidity at spending my money?

Q.   My grandparents sold their house at the start of the year. From the money they got from it, they gave they're grandchildren some of it. I got around £1500. At the time I was in a job that paid horrible money, less than minimum wage. The plan was to ...

A.   19 October 2014: Well if you already spend the money, there is only 2 options left. KEEP beating yourself up... OR LEARN from this mistake. LEARN to budget, LEARN to NOT use credit cards unless you can afford what you are buying and you really NEED to "stuff".... (read in full...)

Can dating profiles be cloned over multiple sites or is my boyfriend lying?

Q.   Hi all, So I have been going out with my boyfriend for 18 months and we met on a dating site. 2 months into our relationship I found he was still logging in to pof the site we met on and my only dating site I joined. He said that can't be right he...

A.   19 October 2014: You already know he is full of dog-doodoo. That is why you're here asking. Because you for whatever reason DO NOT trust your instincts (and you really should). SOME people MIGHT have taken his info, but if the e-mail address is his, WHAT would th... (read in full...)

I think he's lost interest in me but I'm afraid to leave him

Q.   Hey guys.. I have a "boyfriend" but it's a long distance relationship and he tells me he loves me, usually just by words.. He asked me for nudes and I said no way but he kept insisting and saying he loves me. I used to be a shy and quiet girl but I ...

A.   19 October 2014: My advice? Block his number, unfriend him and block him on social website, send him an e-mail letting him know that you are going to cu the contact, that you feel pressured into doing things you AREN'T comfortable and you don't see the relation... (read in full...)

Met her at a bar, the evening went well -- how long should I wait to contact her?

Q.   I need some advice. Last night some buddies and I went out to a bar. Two girls come up and we engage in small chat. My buddy isn't doing so great with one of them but I think it's going really well with the other. Let's call her Whit. About an ...

A.   19 October 2014: I wouldn't WAIT for any specific time to call her, the sooner the better IMHO - IF you are interested then CALL. I'd also go REAL slow with this one.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's ex is contacting him and he's stopped telling me and is deleting texts. Why??

Q.   Hello, Ive asked a question about this situation before but there has since been developments therefore i need further advice. My boyfriend of 2 years met up with a friend back in august. This friend wasnt just a friend it was some who he live...

A.   19 October 2014: Yea, the whole "I want nothing to do with my ex" is a facade. If he REALLY didn't want anything to DO with her, he would block her. delete her number, tell her to stop harassing him. However, I think he only says this to your face to make you think, ... (read in full...)

Enjoyed our first date together.Is it too much to send her a card wishing her well?

Q.   Just a quick one. Went out with someone (first date if you will), and had planned to meet up again soon. She's since postponed this, I think she has a lot on with work - stress etc. Is it too much to send her a card wishing her well? Have sort ...

A.   19 October 2014: I agree, it might be cute... but I think it's over the top to be honest. Find a new time/date for date #2 instead.... (read in full...)

He's not speaking to me. Not calling me back. If he cares so little should I be worried about his car insurance premiums?

Q.   My bf of 4 yrs hasn't spoken to me properly since last sat when he as meant to come down for weekend. he works away. I'm actually and have susected he's actually found someone else... but only the other week he was taking about spending xmas her...

A.   19 October 2014: I agree call him. And TAKE yourself of as the main driver, you are NOT his mom. HE NEEDS to be responsible for his OWN car and HIS insurance. If you are the one on the insurance, TAKE yourself OFF you CAN do that legally. http://www.ci... (read in full...)

Is there anything that can be done to increase the friction when my wife and I have sex?

Q.   I am a married male in my early 40s. When my wife and I have sex she gets so wet and slippery that after a while there is almost no friction. The other night I couldn't even feel anything to the extent that I lost my erection. I had to pull out ...

A.   18 October 2014: You could try some of the various condoms with male and female "sensations". And look for positions that let her grip on better.... (read in full...)

Was it strange that my Bf's Ex was checking me out on FB and discovered that I'd blocked her? Then she rang my Bf to ask why I did that?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for over a year. We have had a couple of discussions about his ex. She is gorgeous (I thought she was pretty but reasonably average but his friends and him seem to think she's the hottest thing in the world). I ha...

A.   18 October 2014: No more strange than your own behavior. My guess is she wanted to "obsess" over YOU, the NEW GF, just like you have been OBSESSING over her, the OLD GF. But for HER to ask him why you have her blocked I do find cheeky. It's none of her business... (read in full...)

Why did he suddenly brush me off?

Q.   A question mostly to men: Why would a man show interest in a woman only to complete ignore her all of a sudden and not even look at her or say hi when he sees her, when the last time he saw her he insinuated otherwise? He does know I am in a r...

A.   17 October 2014: Eh if your intentions were PURELY platonic, and he is ignoring you... I'd chalk this one up to "not friend material". Let it go. He can CHOOSE who he wants to be friends with and whom he doesn't. Maybe.. he just had a bad day and wasn't in the m... (read in full...)

Was a wrong to contact a women to see if her baby was my boyfriends ?

Q.   I recently found out that a few months before my boyfriend met me he had an affair with a married women . I found old text messages he still had on his iPhone with nude pics they sent each other. he admitted he slept with her but didn't know she was ...

A.   17 October 2014: Then ending it with him is in your favor. If your WHOLE family think he is scum, maybe they are just looking out for you? And maybe they aren't all wrong? If he was looking for sex on CL *shudder* he is kinda of a he-whore... skank-man.. YOU can ... (read in full...)

What do I do about my nitpicking fiance?

Q.   I moved in with my fiancé. I am finding out that he is a nitpicker. He tells me how to cook or what I should do with this or that recipe. He was the first one to ever complain about a recipe that I have cooked for years and years that everyon...

A.   17 October 2014: I'm OCD - I think my things JUST so, but I do NOT allow other to mess with my "stuff" NOR would I go about telling others how to do thing they OBVIOUSLY know how to do. With the cooking, tell your BF/Fiance to cook it himself if he isn't happy. T... (read in full...)

He says he doesn't want sex with me because he's bored!

Q.   I'm 21 and my boyfriend is 22, we used to have sex like 6-8,times a month which I was fine with but now he doesn't want to do it at all because he says he's bored. And it really hurt a lot. Shouldn't we be doing it a lot more since we are ...

A.   17 October 2014: So is he bored with having sex with YOU or just with sex in general? If it's the first, I say end it and find someone who WANTS you in every way, including sexually. Though at age 22 6-8 times a months seems little at least compared to how ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong to think that the way he wants to share expenses and chores is unreasonable?

Q.   I am with my boyfriend a little over a year, and I moved into his appartment about a month ago., I am writing it to hear some opinions if I am mistaken on having these thoughts, but the whole situation started bothering me from the very beginnin...

A.   17 October 2014: Sorry, I would move back out and find a roommate and a cheaper living situation. Yes, I DO think that when two people live together as a couple they SHARE the costs. But that means down the board or one pays rent the other utilities. However... (read in full...)

Reference letter I requested from former boss in now not needed. How do I approach this?

Q.   Hi there I don't know if anyone can help me but I need some advice. About a year ago I was at my dream job, I was there for about 6 months. I had to leave because my contract only allowed for 6 months but I made good friends and produced som...

A.   17 October 2014: He could send YOU a paper version of the recommendation for later use, I mean YOU might need it for another job? Was he supposed to send the company you were applying to the recommendation or to you? IF the first... contact him and tell him tha... (read in full...)

Was a wrong to contact a women to see if her baby was my boyfriends ?

Q.   I recently found out that a few months before my boyfriend met me he had an affair with a married women . I found old text messages he still had on his iPhone with nude pics they sent each other. he admitted he slept with her but didn't know she was ...

A.   17 October 2014: Wow, just wow. I can't believe how MUCH you violated HIS and HER privacy, because you had a "hunch". If you felt his actions were so appalling, why not WALK away from this sordid mess instead of sticking your nose where (IF I MAY BE HONEST) ... (read in full...)

She never got rid of the explicit pictures of her ex! Do I just throw them away or confront her?

Q.   I have a question. My wife and I are together 7 years married for 5. When we moved in together she had some pictures of an ex boyfriend. I was fine with some of them but there was 1 where they were kissing and a few of him in various states o...

A.   16 October 2014: Good for you in taking the common sense route and TALK to her. As it turns out you fears were unfounded, and that is good. Always TRUST that you can TALK to your partner instead of trying to "read her mind" or second guess HER or yourself... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my daughter never having a family

Q.   My daughter is 28, her boyfriend is 32. They both graduated long ago and both have masters in different fields. They both have VERY good jobs with VERY nice salaries. They both travelled the world. My daughter was on every continent, and more tha...

A.   16 October 2014: No matter the age of our children, we can't stop caring and we can't stop worrying. I get that you CARE for her and want her to be happy. So I would just support her and watch her thrive with the life she chooses. This day and age people have ... (read in full...)

Is it normal to be so indecisive when considering ending a relationship?

Q.   Hello all. I'm in the process of trying decide whether I can be happy in my current relationship. When I think about ending things and not being together all I can think about is how amazing he is. When I think about staying in the relation...

A.   16 October 2014: I think it is. Even when we KNOW a relationship or friendship has run it's course it is hard to let go. You want to cling on to the "good stuff" but when you do you are constantly reminded of the not so good too. You BF can BE an amazing guy, ... (read in full...)

I feel like I have to do everything myself, or nag!

Q.   I feel like I am the driving force behind just about everything in my relationship and it frustrates me. I have been with my partner for 6 years, we have two kids.. It often feels like my partner is like a third kid. Every little thing that needs ...

A.   16 October 2014: Well for one.. if what you're doing now (nagging and planning) isn't working for YOU -stop doing it! You are only annoying yourself and stressing yourself. My husband (for whatever reason) have NOT been able to hit the hamper in the bedroom ... (read in full...)

LDR told me to get lost, then told my Mum she was pregnant

Q.   I met a girl about a month ago when I was on vacation in Florida. We spent the last week together and I stayed at her place on the beach and we slept together a few times. She said I was the best guy she had ever met and she could see herself having ...

A.   16 October 2014: It's called Karma, son. The girl who thought you were the BEST BF EVER!! figured out that you weren't such a hot potato after all, and now she wants you to suffer like she is suffering. Payton was young and naive and fell for your "cute British ... (read in full...)

I want to end our 3 year long LDR and get married but unsure If we should marry or end things?

Q.   Hi, ive been with my long distance girlfriend for almost 3 years now and i think is time to close the distance. Its time to pop the question. However... We live in continents apart and we are citizens of diferent countries.we have a 13 years ag...

A.   16 October 2014: I know you might not want to hear this, but I think this 3 year fantasy is over. You KNEW she didn't want to leave her life to marry you. You have had 3 YEARS to learn her language yet, you haven't even begun? I think in your mind (and it wou... (read in full...)

We've broken up but my ex still supports me financially

Q.   I am going through break up. It will be two weeks on Sat. Despite everything he and I have gone through, and the wrong I feel he does, I still very much care for him and would like it to work. We would have a lot to work on. He was complete...

A.   16 October 2014: What if.. he at the other end is saying the same thing? I don't want to be the first one to make a move? I want to keep my pride and dignity? There is NO way of knowing if he is helping you out because he was RAISED to be a good man who KEEPS hi... (read in full...)

Why is he contacting me again?

Q.   I met my ex on a dating site about a year ago....we dated for about 4 months and broke up at the beginning of this year because he kept doting over another woman and I became tired of hearing about her. Since then, I have seen him back on the same...

A.   16 October 2014: He had all these other kind of means to contact you, e-mail, phone/text and FB and he CHOSE the message system on the dating site? (OR he no longer has your phone number/e-mail) and he didn't THINK to use the FB. My guess is, he WANTS you to have ... (read in full...)

We've broken up but my ex still supports me financially

Q.   I am going through break up. It will be two weeks on Sat. Despite everything he and I have gone through, and the wrong I feel he does, I still very much care for him and would like it to work. We would have a lot to work on. He was complete...

A.   16 October 2014: Just remove yourself from HIS accounts? Pretty simple. If you don't want him to feel he owes you anything then SHOW him. And no, it doesn't necessarily means he wants to get back together, it means he feels RESPONSIBLE for you still. He is try... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and the father of the child wants me to terminate. I'm confused

Q.   I need sum help.. I don't need people judging me or giving me grief. I'm 25 and 9 weeks pregnant. I have been in an on/off relationship for some time. We were together for a few years and he cheated.. so I moved out and went no contact. 6 month...

A.   16 October 2014: If you can handle having the baby ALL on your own, I'd say consider keeping it/adopting it out - however - HE will ALWAYS be a part of your life if you keep it. You really have 3 options: 1. Keep it (and raise it as a single mom, because you... (read in full...)

Should I tell my wife about the dream where I slept with another woman?

Q.   I had a very explicit and elaborate dream in which I had sex with a woman who was not my wife. I would never dare tell my wife such things except that this particular dream wasn't sexual in nature. The sex part was just a small (but important) part ...

A.   16 October 2014: Sounds like a bad idea waiting to happen.... (read in full...)

I'm worried about my daughter never having a family

Q.   My daughter is 28, her boyfriend is 32. They both graduated long ago and both have masters in different fields. They both have VERY good jobs with VERY nice salaries. They both travelled the world. My daughter was on every continent, and more tha...

A.   15 October 2014: As hard as it may be, this is HER life and HER choices. I don't blame them for not wanting to give up the life they have have. If it makes them happy and content, why change it? Yes, biologically the next logical step would be children, but mayb... (read in full...)

She never got rid of the explicit pictures of her ex! Do I just throw them away or confront her?

Q.   I have a question. My wife and I are together 7 years married for 5. When we moved in together she had some pictures of an ex boyfriend. I was fine with some of them but there was 1 where they were kissing and a few of him in various states o...

A.   14 October 2014: I agree with YouWish. Pictures of exes is no biggie.. but when they are explicit or nude, it's something to get rid off once you settle into another relationship. I would not just toss them, I would ask her to do it. I'm sure she would be thr... (read in full...)

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