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Why do I feel so emotional about events happening around me?

Q.   i sometimes feel pathetic with what i am going to say, a month ago my nephews best friend died in a tragic accident. I first saw his face in the newspaper before knowing he was my nephews best friend ( i didnt know every friend he had ) and i just ...

A.   24 September 2018: Empathy, caring person and hormones. It's a NORMAL reaction, OP. Like YCBS suggested maybe turn that empathy and caring into something you can use as an outlet? Like volunteering? ... (read in full...)

I am at my wits end with laziness of my husband

Q.   I am a full time worker and also a house wife of a man that is on disability due to mental state he can still do things but chooses not to do anything but sit on the computer all day consuming negative news . I work for Hospice and work long ...

A.   24 September 2018: Have you told him, if nothing changes you and the kids are leaving? I get that you love him, the kids care about him, but HE isn't ADDING to your lives in a positive way - so staying out of "love" seems misguided to me, because you CAN NOT fix ... (read in full...)

My wife is giving me the cold shoulder after I sent her touristy pics of women in Japan. How do I handle this?

Q.   Hi, first timer here. I am on a business trip to Japan. I am taking some guided tours with colleagues in my spare time. It has been interesting to explore the different culture here. I've never been before. I have always been an avid photogr...

A.   24 September 2018: I find it hilarious that you pretend to be this dense. Of all the GORGEOUS stuff you COULD take pictures off, you CHOOSE to take pictures of young women, massage parlor signs... Because you claim that your wife could be interested in their co... (read in full...)

Cheated on my boyfriend 2 weeks before getting pregnant help!!!

Q.   I am 24 years old and found out I was pregnant about 3 weeks ago. I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and thought things were fizzled out, I looked for company else where. I have never cheated on him before and can’t believe I did it this ...

A.   24 September 2018: I read your post and I see a VERY selfish person. You. It's all about you. YOU don't want the "worry" to hang over you. What about your BF? What about how HE might feel? He finally got you pregnant but how HAPPY do you think he will be when you... (read in full...)

I am at my wits end with laziness of my husband

Q.   I am a full time worker and also a house wife of a man that is on disability due to mental state he can still do things but chooses not to do anything but sit on the computer all day consuming negative news . I work for Hospice and work long ...

A.   24 September 2018: I think you need to have a serious talk. While I DO believe that part of a marriage is: "to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health, until death do us part." I strongly be... (read in full...)

15 years later I am informed I might be father. How should I handle all of this?

Q.   When I was 18 years old, I had sex with a girl, Dianne, that hung out with my group of friends. She was extremely nice and cute. About two months later, she went away to college which was not a big surprise because a lot of us were going to ...

A.   23 September 2018: Honestly? I'd contact a lawyer first. Because in some states you will be ordered to pay back-dated child-support - which COULD be as high as $100,000 or as low as $30,000. Which... CAN totally mess up YOUR credit. Now that is just the financi... (read in full...)

He says he's not ready to go public with our relationship

Q.   I am 33 years old and my boyfriend, Joe, is 32 years old. We have been in a "secret relationship" for about 3 years now. People just think we are roommates and best friends. I am ready to let our family and friends know that we are gay and in a...

A.   23 September 2018: Yes, when someone hides a relationship from friends and family, they do it for a reason. If he was/is ready to DATE you why not share the happiness with others? Or, could it be that he isn't "out" to others? Or doesn't WANT to be "out"? Can it... (read in full...)

I’ve been bullied by my brother-in-law for 17 years! What is the best revenge?

Q.   I have a brother in law and for 17 years he has disliked me from the very moment he laid eyes on me. I am a very likeable and confident, and id like to say hot girl lol i am hilarious and fun love to tell stories and make people laugh i dont have ...

A.   22 September 2018: So this guy is used to pushing people around and not giving a crap about them, even his own siblings... What a total dinkus! I'd stop trying to be nice and just ignore him. If you don't HAVE to be around him, don't. And when you do, focus on... (read in full...)

Should I give up on a shy guy? Is he just not that into me?

Q.   I've been friends/acquaintances with a guy for 6 months now. I don't know him all that well but when we talk we would really get on and have a lot in common. He wow make excuses to come chat to me all the time. He's 10 years older than me an...

A.   22 September 2018: Try and dial it back. He might NOT be used to a pretty girl like you paying him this much attention and actually LIKING him. So I'd back off a little. Have you ever been around horses? If not, let me put this simply. If a horse seems nervous... (read in full...)

Confused and not sure if I'm in love anymore!

Q.   Hey fellow cupids. I'm a little bit confused and have been for some time. I'm in a long term relationship and care for my partner, probably even love (sorry I'm not an emotional guy so it's hard to understand my feelings sometimes). For the last t...

A.   22 September 2018: Are you having a crush because you feel you aren't happy with who you are with? While I DO think it can happen to people who are content in their lives and with their partner to develop a crush, the thing is... YOU have to decide to either A... (read in full...)

I’ve been bullied by my brother-in-law for 17 years! What is the best revenge?

Q.   I have a brother in law and for 17 years he has disliked me from the very moment he laid eyes on me. I am a very likeable and confident, and id like to say hot girl lol i am hilarious and fun love to tell stories and make people laugh i dont have ...

A.   22 September 2018: So, unless you put in the wrong age group he's hated you since birth? Regardless. I'd tell your sister AND your parents that you are going to take a break from being around him as you feel he is toxic. If that means you see your sister and ... (read in full...)

Her husband abruptly didn’t want to move! Any advice on how I can advise her?

Q.   A good friend of mine is very upset. She had accepted a promotion with her company to move to Florida. Her husband is a pilot for a major airline and also made arrangements to relocate to Florida. So my friend went through the process to buy a house ...

A.   21 September 2018: I agree with WiseOwlE This is a marital "dispute" and between THEM to sort out. There can be things she omitted or glossed over to make her side sound more like she is the "victim" and her husband the bad guy. And the subject... IT IS som... (read in full...)

Why is this married female coworker playing games?

Q.   Why would married female coworker who is friendly with everyone shower me with gifts just told me she cheated on her husband before out the blue seeks me out all day but today she invites me to smoke and then ignores me and wouldn't even sit next to ...

A.   21 September 2018: Honestly? Stay the Hay-Hay away from her. Be polite, professional but unless you are working together on something... AVOID her like the plague. Do not accept gifts (I would politely return them if I were you, if possible). She was pursuing... (read in full...)

Does him not being able to stay hard with me prove he isn’t attracted to me physically?

Q.   I just started seeing this new guy and everything is great. We are able to talk and laugh with each other and just have a good time. He calls me beautiful and sexy and says he likes the way I look. But last night we just tried to have sex for the ...

A.   21 September 2018: I agree. If he wasn't into you he would make such and effort to spend time with you. I'd hold of on the sex for a while longer. It might be that he is too nervous. ... (read in full...)

I'm jealous but am I too cruel or too possessive?

Q.   Hey guys :) It's been awhile since I posted here. I'm here to share about my jealousy when someone flirts with my lesbian partner :) Damn! She's a perfect butch. I love her with all my heart. I treat her like she's the only person in the whole wide ...

A.   21 September 2018: Have you considered that threatening someone for flirting with your GF can come off as insecure and controlling? Not as possessive? And can't your GF tell off girls who gets a little to "chummy" with her? Overall? It seems immature.... (read in full...)

I'm shy and need help in talking to customers

Q.   I start a new temporary job in a month , im working in the restaurant hoping for some retail experience too and I'm just wanting some advice on how to talk to the customers as im a shy person , like how to get better at knowing what to talk to about ...

A.   21 September 2018: If a costumer asks a question and you are unsure of the "right" answer DO NOT be afraid to say, I'm not sure let me ask :) then go ASK someone who WILL know and go back and let the costumer know. Not hard to do. NO ONE starts off knowing everything, ... (read in full...)

Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second?

Q.   Hi all, I went on a first date with a girl last night. We met on a dating website. I am unsure what to do next. She was a nice girl and I think the date went well. It was comfortable and conversation flowed. She said at the end that it felt lik...

A.   21 September 2018: I agree with Cindy, If you wanted a second date, you would have asked her already. IF you can find ONE women you "sort of" click with... you can find another. That is what dating is for, fine-tuning your search for a mate/partner. ... (read in full...)

Follow up to an earlier question about some decisions I have to make

Q.   This is technically a build on my initial concerns that I raised a question about in January. I am fortunate and pleased to say that an excellent career opportunity presented itself, moving back in to my desired career field and I have regained a ...

A.   21 September 2018: Nothing to be embarrassed about. You see problems and you want to fix them but you hold off because you don't want to hurt your partner. I get it. But it also equate to you shooting yourself in the foot to try and not hurt her. And you DO hurt her... (read in full...)

She owes me money but is adamant she transferred the money!

Q.   Hello This is not so much a dating question or anything, but I have used this website before for advice and found it helpful. A girl I have been on and off chatting to asked me if she could borrow £1000 to repair her damaged car. I agreed...

A.   20 September 2018: I'm not a lawyer/barrister and not familiar with English laws so I can't say. Which is why I suggest you contact Citizen's Advice. My guess is you also have a "paper-trail" of her ASKING to borrow the 1,000? Or was that over the phone? ... (read in full...)

How do I get the spark back it feels like we have grown apart

Q.   I've been with my partner for 4 years nearly and I loved him dearly. he's a good man I get on well with all his friends and family but we went through a difficult stage for a few months recently we were arguing and it just seemed like he disagreed ...

A.   20 September 2018: Yep, drop the male friend. He isn't helping your situation and he has his OWN ulterior motives. So IF you want to stay with your BF and give it a go, you NEED to block and cut off the male friend completely. You can't do both. And it's not fair on ... (read in full...)

I lost my job living at home and really struggling

Q.   Hey guys, I really don’t know what to do here. I’m 28, have been in successful career, slowly building up money for house, still living with parents. Recently I lost my job and it has been a month since I have worked. I am living with parents ...

A.   20 September 2018: Just keep writing those applications, call and do follow up on the ones you already sent you. If you have not done so yet, consider looking for jobs in the same city as your GF lives in? It might make it easier to spend more time together ONCE you... (read in full...)

Will he come back to his senses .... and me?

Q.   Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Last year he lost his job and things were not great the fact that he never used to save or invested.I was there for him and supported him in any way I could.Last week he called Me asking h...

A.   20 September 2018: When money is more important that having a relationship, it shows 2 things: 1, he doesn't care for you to the extend you care for him. 2, he can't handle criticism. 3, his loss. You were there when he was unemployed sticking it out with ... (read in full...)

I'm happy with the way things are, but she is talking marriage and babies

Q.   I have been dating a girl for 7 months now, due to my working hours and her studying at college, we only see each other 2-3 times a week. I am happy with the relationship the way it is because I like my space and time to myself, however she is ...

A.   20 September 2018: Yep, end it and let her go. You two are NOT on the same page or in the same book. Nothing wrong with discovering that you are not as compatible as you had hoped.... (read in full...)

Is he fobbing me off, I thought we had a good thing going.

Q.   I started seeing a guy a month ago. He’s 12 months separated from his wife with two young children. Our relationship seemed really promising but then he went a bit cold. He says his ex wife is being really challenging. She calls him up out of the ...

A.   20 September 2018: I agree with YouWish And Cindy. a. the guy IS still married. And WILL still be married until the divorce is final. b. the wife is STILL calling the shots over his life - BECAUSE they have kids together! You have ONLY been seeing him for a mo... (read in full...)

How do I stop self sabotaging.my relationships?

Q.   Every time I get in a relationship I seem to always panic that I am annoying them or I over think things to must making up problems that aren't there making the situation 10x worse than what it is already. What can I do to try and stop this from ...

A.   20 September 2018: Sounds like you might not be ready for a relationship. Why not work on simple friendships. Wait with the romance until you feel you have more control over your actions. ... (read in full...)

I am panicked about delivering the eulogy at my dad's funeral service.

Q.   I am giving a eulogy for my dad who passed away on Sept. 11. I am his first born and it is family tradition that the first born delivers the eulogy. I am panicked and afraid I will break down. So many people are relying on me. So, I also feel ...

A.   20 September 2018: How did it go OP? *hugs*... (read in full...)

Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?

Q.   Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...

A.   19 September 2018: Good for you! Life DO go on. And ignoring her e-mail or calls is appropriate. Keep moving forward!... (read in full...)

My wife wants to use a sperm donor to ensure that our third child isn't autistic but I’m not sure how I feel about this.

Q.   My wife (34f) and I (36m) have been married for just over six years and in many ways have an ideal marriage and are very much still in love. Despite two kids, we still have sex 2 - 3 times per week. We still find time for getaways nearby beaches, ...

A.   19 September 2018: Perhaps you two should stick with two kids? Kids with special needs no matter how functional DO require more work, attention and effort. Is that fair on #3? I agree with janniepeg that the idea of trying to get a "normal" kid is showing your oth... (read in full...)

How to make a recovering alcoholic comfortable at a family holiday event?

Q.   My brother-in-law is a recovered alcoholic. The last time he drank was 11 years ago, when he got so drunk that he is surprised he did not die from alcoholic poisoning (he had to buy a new bad because he woke up with everything covered in vomit). Two ...

A.   18 September 2018: I think it's easy, you tell your parents if they bring alcohol they aren't welcome. If it's YOUR house they need to be respectful of that. For some alcoholics just seeing others drink can make the relapse even after 11 years and QUITE frankly.... (read in full...)

My crush is distracting me at work! How do I keep my focus?

Q.   Hi people, really like a girl at work and it's driving me crazy, need to take my mind off her but every time I get her off my mind she appears and I have her on my mind again. I can't lose this job but I am starting to lose the plot! Any advice w...

A.   18 September 2018: Know that a crush is a passing feeling. And consider if you DID try and make this into more, and it doesn't work out things will be awkward. Keep romance and dating out of the office/workplace. You are not a teenager, OP, if she com... (read in full...)

Do I just forget about it since my partner hasn’t technically said anything wrong to her?

Q.   I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not (as I do tend to) but my partner has a work and personal phone. The other month I had to use his work phone to get a contact and I came across messages over a few days to his female colleague. It was general ...

A.   18 September 2018: I can't believe that YOU contacted her to tell her off for her behavior... Are you serious? That is so not appropriate either! It's not your job to police how people talk to your BF. He isn't 4 years old! He is (I hope) a GROWN man who OUGHT to... (read in full...)

Move on or try to resolve between us?

Q.   Hey everyone, I've posted a while back about how to move on from my ex etc but wanting a bit advice on an update really. Long story short, me and my partner split up about 4/5 months ago now. We lived together for the majority of our relationship...

A.   18 September 2018: I think you REALLY need to leave him to move on so you can move on too. There is no going back. It's just not going to happen. Just because he replied in a nice manner doesn't mean me wants you back, it means he read your message, underst... (read in full...)

Am I being paranoid about my girlfriend’s interactions at work with this guy?

Q.   I work at a restaurant with my girlfriend. We just got into a big fight which was my fault. So we’ve barley spoken for a few days. I come into work and i notice my gf getting her shirt sleeves rolled up by a guy coworker. Then i see she’s ...

A.   18 September 2018: You need to stop nitpicking everything you see. If it's to make yourself look or feel better over that big fight (which you said was your fault)... then you really need to stop. This whole I did something stupid so now I'm looking for faults in HER ... (read in full...)

How to move on from your old crush?

Q.   So, three years ago, i.e. 2015, I had a huge crush on a girl and she had a crush on me too. But unfortunately we couldn’t make it work. Mostly it was my fault, i guess i kept pushing her away because i wasn’t ready (i was 17). Then she moved...

A.   17 September 2018: I agree, she has become a fantasy a "near perfect girl" who you rather fantasize about instead of doing the legwork, emotional work of meeting a new woman and starting a new relationship. You basically worship someone who doesn't exist outside ... (read in full...)

Do you think she doesn’t want to see me?

Q.   do you think she doesnt wanna see me? so this all happend last year when i was at work and i went out to the lobby and i saw the girl i used to liked back in high school sitting at the table with her boyfriend i guess she was waiting for her food...

A.   17 September 2018: She might worry that you are STALKING her, OP She has a BF so she SHOULD be off limits. just because you "used" to like her in HS doesn't mean she owes you anything, no contact or chats. Just leave the girl alone? I think you are creeping her... (read in full...)

She owes me money but is adamant she transferred the money!

Q.   Hello This is not so much a dating question or anything, but I have used this website before for advice and found it helpful. A girl I have been on and off chatting to asked me if she could borrow £1000 to repair her damaged car. I agreed...

A.   17 September 2018: Contact Citizen's advice. You might even be able to find a lawyer who can help you sort this out. She is obviously lying.... (read in full...)

Is he fully really over me when it’s only been a month?

Q.   Me and my ex were together for 1 year and a bit. It was good for the majority of the time but recently he started acting up. About a few months ago he wasn’t giving me the effort I deserved and only recently he broke it off with me about a month ...

A.   17 September 2018: People move on in different speeds, OP. What does it mean that he is taking her on dates where he took you? That he KNOWS it worked with you, so maybe it will with her too. Him saying he would focus on himself and not another relationship... (read in full...)

Why is he acting this way about my airplane ticket?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. A couple of months ago he asked me to attend his mother's birthday dinner (big family gathering at a restaurant) this upcoming weekend. I declined because I couldn't take time off from work. ...

A.   17 September 2018: Because he doesn't have the money... or he doesn't want to SPEND the money on you. He isn't listening to what y u are saying. You TOLD him that you could pay for half ONCE you got your final paycheck, yet he is asking you to buy it and he reimburs... (read in full...)

I’m pregnant by a boyfriend using me for a green card! Advice needed!

Q.   Hi there I am pregnant 9 weeks I’ve been dating this honderan man for almost two years. My boyfriend has been distant because he wants to get married but it’s to get his green card. He loves me but i am catholic and I want a church ceremony I’m not ...

A.   17 September 2018: So he has had 2 years to get confirmed in, so that you two can marry and he has chosen NOT to. because what YOU want is not important to him. WHAT is important to him is getting his green card. Why on Earth would you bring a baby into this m... (read in full...)

Follow up to an earlier question about some decisions I have to make

Q.   This is technically a build on my initial concerns that I raised a question about in January. I am fortunate and pleased to say that an excellent career opportunity presented itself, moving back in to my desired career field and I have regained a ...

A.   17 September 2018: But if you do nothing... nothing will change. So, maybe look into what option for mediation/counseling there are available (so you have a solution before having the talk). Admitting to her that things aren't working for you and that you need he... (read in full...)

I am panicked about delivering the eulogy at my dad's funeral service.

Q.   I am giving a eulogy for my dad who passed away on Sept. 11. I am his first born and it is family tradition that the first born delivers the eulogy. I am panicked and afraid I will break down. So many people are relying on me. So, I also feel ...

A.   17 September 2018: I'm so sorry for your loss, OP My advice? Make it short and sweet. If you cry that is OK! if you feel like you are going to choke up, that is OK too! No one is going to critique you, OK? I think WiseOwlE's advice about say what you would want y... (read in full...)

Am I being paranoid about my girlfriend’s interactions at work with this guy?

Q.   I work at a restaurant with my girlfriend. We just got into a big fight which was my fault. So we’ve barley spoken for a few days. I come into work and i notice my gf getting her shirt sleeves rolled up by a guy coworker. Then i see she’s ...

A.   17 September 2018: Oh, she is playing YOU. She is showing you in the must "innocuous" way how easily she can replace you. Keep your relationship drama out of the work place. If YOU fucked up and cause a fight/argument - the be the bigger person and apolog... (read in full...)

Follow up to an earlier question about some decisions I have to make

Q.   This is technically a build on my initial concerns that I raised a question about in January. I am fortunate and pleased to say that an excellent career opportunity presented itself, moving back in to my desired career field and I have regained a ...

A.   5 September 2018: I think you have to consider a few things before trying to fix anything. NOT having kids now... is smart, as things are not REALLY working. You bend over backward for her, but that also makes you resent her. So, YOU do need to change YOUR own ... (read in full...)

Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?

Q.   Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...

A.   30 August 2018: Maybe things aren't going so well, so she wants you to be "stand-by" "spare" - just in case... She obviously thought you "dumb" enough to not catch her or admit to cheating, maybe she thinks you are "dumb" enough to either forgive her or be "frie... (read in full...)

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