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How can I stop being so negative and worrying all the time?

Q.   How can I learn to appreciate and be happy? I suffer from mental illness - I have been diagnosed with OCD and depressive episodes and overly just anxious. Although I have these obstacles it really is my negativity that is getting in the way and I ...

A.   17 November 2018: I am diagnosed with OCD and anxiety as well, so I know how living with that head-space is like. I did get help, CBT ( Cognitive behavioral therapy) and it did help giving me the tools to deal with these issues on a daily basis. Does it mean all... (read in full...)

Is there a genuine man out there who will not take advantage of me and use my weaknesses against me? How can I learn to trust again?

Q.   How did you regain trust once you lost it for the oppsotite sex . I have a very hard time trusting men. I have had few ralsrionships and one long one - I have only been open and the “real” me in my first relationship with my ex bf (5years) where he ...

A.   17 November 2018: Well, generally speaking I don't think men are less trustworthy than women. And I don't think it's fair to hold HALF the World's population responsible for what a couple of men did to you. The issue might be that you grew up in a household with... (read in full...)

I'm unsure of the relationship but is that enough to throw it away?

Q.   I can't tell right now if I'm unsure of my relationship. I know even questioning it is probably an indication. But people bet cold feet at weddings.. so could this jusy be cold feet as were getting older? We've been together for a year but split up...

A.   17 November 2018: Let's look at the "practical" stuff first. 1. DO NOT (I will repeat) DO NOT buy a house with a BF. The last thing you need in case it doesn't work out is trying to figure out how and what to do with the house. Who gets what, what is fair and what... (read in full...)

He's extremely possessive and mentally abusive but I still love him. Advice please!!

Q.   Hi. I am new to this so very nervous. I really need some advice about my partner. I have been with him for just over a year and I feel like I can't do anything right. He mentally abuses me constantly..well this is what I'm guessing it is?! He will ...

A.   17 November 2018: I hope you do walk away and BLOCK all contact. This isn't a loving person. This isn't love. And let's for a moment... entertain that what he is saying is true.. that you don't understand him at all... or don't show him enough love.... THEN WH... (read in full...)

He literally flipped in 8 hours! Is he blowing me off?

Q.   Is he blowing me off? I've been friends with this guy for years. We talk daily and have recently decided to take things to the next level since we are both finally single at the same time. Plus, he always lived about 6 hours away and now hes only a ...

A.   17 November 2018: Definitely don't sit on your hands and wait for the stars to align for him. I mean, if he was serious about you, would he ignore you, even if he is stressed? Maybe there is a good reason it just never was "good timing". Chin up.... (read in full...)

Was dirty sexual encounter a deal breaker?

Q.   I met this older more top man online. We had a coffee and we decided to play around in his hotel room. He was nice and friendly but no sooner had he lain on the bed than I saw the bedcover smeared with shit from his rear - even though he had at ...

A.   16 November 2018: Sorry, gross! I hope you used protection. And lots and lots of soap and sanitizer afterwards! Either the bed-cover was full of shit from another anal sex encounter or he has some hygiene issues. I mean WHY wants to have sex in a bed with c... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable asking him not to meet up with an old flame?

Q.   Hello Cupids I have been with my partner for six years and living together for three. Yesterday he told me that he has been meeting up with a woman he sort of used to see and I'm not sure how to take it. We all met in university, and the pair ...

A.   16 November 2018: I say GO on that double date. Seriously. It will show him that you CAN behave like an adult, that you can RESPECT that he will have friends and DO NOT need your approval for whom he makes friends with, and it will give you an opportunity to met h... (read in full...)

I'd like to apologize to someone that I still like even though he now has a girlfriend. Should I and if so how?

Q.   I think someone who I still have feelings for lives in my area and has recently moved here with his girlfriend,he is aware of where I live and doesn't like me due to what happened between us which I just accept and have learnt from it . I may be ...

A.   16 November 2018: You know, OP I don't think you OWE him an apology. Especially since he is acting extremely hurtful and immature towards you. He handled rejection pretty shitty. The biggest reason you didn't jump in with both feet was because you weren't SURE... (read in full...)

Why is my coworker acting hot and cold?

Q.   There is a male co-worker, "John", that works in another department. When I first started, I thought that he was cute and funny. He seemed kind of shy and wouldn't talk to me when we were alone, only when other people were around. One time he came ...

A.   16 November 2018: You work with him and he blows hot and cold, so I would drop ALL romantic notion and JUST accept that he is a coworker who is a little off at times. TREAT him like you would any other coworker, BE professional, civil and courteous. He mi... (read in full...)

He insists he has changed, can it be true? Or is this all a front to win me back?

Q.   I recently posted a question a few weeks ago about my situtation of after a long break apart, my ex boyfriend is claiming and insisting he is a changed man. We have met up occasionally as "dates" which often led to dicussing our relationship and set ...

A.   16 November 2018: If all the changes (or the majority of them) are thing you pointed out as "flaws" or things that wasn't compatible with you... Then I think he is trying to BE the man you want him to be and this "change" or "act" won't last. The fact that... (read in full...)

How can I learn to cook? Should I go to a male friend's house to learn?

Q.   unfortunately I have no idea how to cook and im not sure of how to even start or what to begin with . Im 22 and I think its rather embarrassing that I don't know how to cook , im not over reliant on my parents but I am in terms of meals and I just ...

A.   15 November 2018: OP, there are MILLIONS of online recipes. YOUTUBE have millions of "how to" videos. I have been cooking for over 30 years and I still find and try new recipes online. Some work, some don't. (as far as whether my family likes them or not). ... (read in full...)

Was I expecting too much of my boyfriend regarding his ex?

Q.   Recently a friend of mine told me that she saw my boyfriend's ex working at a nearby shopping outlet. She is working there part time to earn extra holiday cash. History of my boyfriend and his ex : They remained friends for a whole year after hi...

A.   15 November 2018: Do you trust him to not cross the line of friendship? Just because SHE wanted to get back together doesn't mean HE did. You are being a tad controlling IMHO. I get that he shouldn't have been talking to her after he found out she was still ... (read in full...)

How do I make his 2 year old son like me?

Q.   Hi everyone! I started dating a man recently and he has a 2 year old boy from a previous relationship. I met his kid twice so far and he doesn't seem to like me at all! He turns his head around when i talk to him and he doesn't want to talk to me or ...

A.   15 November 2018: He is two years old and YOU are a stranger. OF course he doesn't INSTANTANEOUSLY like you! Many two year old are VERY particular about strangers and someone like you, who tries TOO HARD, are often ignores because it doesn't come across as genuine.... (read in full...)

I'm 22 and she's 35 should I continue the relationship?

Q.   I met an amazing woman the other day. I've already gone out with her a couple of times and we've even had sex. The only thing is that she's 35 and I'm 22. She also has a 10 year old boy. I've tried to talk myself out of this a million times, but ...

A.   15 November 2018: What do you have in common? Is what you have (besides sex and fun conversations) something you can build on? While I think relationships where there is a BIG age gap often become uneven and the two people in this relationship are at two diffe... (read in full...)

He's extremely possessive and mentally abusive but I still love him. Advice please!!

Q.   Hi. I am new to this so very nervous. I really need some advice about my partner. I have been with him for just over a year and I feel like I can't do anything right. He mentally abuses me constantly..well this is what I'm guessing it is?! He will ...

A.   14 November 2018: If he was that great guy that pops out every now and then, you wouldn't have the abusive, manipulative and controlling behaviors at all. He would just be a decent guy. Your man, on the other hand, KNOW that in order to keep a woman hooked you need... (read in full...)

She lied, is this a red flag or is it too early in the relationship for me too care.

Q.   I went on a date with a girl, it was great and we've been chatting a lot since. She asked to meet me again in a few days. The first date was friday. The second date will be the following tuesday. However, i have found out she has lied to me about...

A.   14 November 2018: I'm also curious as to HOW you know she traveled to see another guy. I would not be happy with someone lying to me THAT soon in either. I can, however, understand if she omitted that she went to see someone else. And I agree with Janniepe... (read in full...)

I need to tell my family that I was duped!

Q.   Hi All. Please bear with as this is quite complicated. So I’m 30 years old, had a few relationships before my current one. This time i thought it was never going to end. We have been living together for 4 years. He is of a different race religi...

A.   14 November 2018: I agree with N91, You make this into a bigger deal than it is. Surely your parents will be OK with it not working out as they didn't want you with him in the first place. WE all make mistakes. Yours was to date someone who used you and lied to ... (read in full...)

My LDR knows all about me while I know very little about him.

Q.   Hi! In need of some opinions on my long distance relationship. I'll give you the backstory: We've been together for almost a year now, meeting on a dating app but didn't date right away. At the time we were matched, I learned that he was just in the ...

A.   14 November 2018: Have you been to HIS country? Met any of HIS family? (I'm not necessarily saying his son and ex-wife/ex-gf - but brothers, sisters, parents, uncles, aunts etc.) There could be mane reasons he doesn't want to talk about the "mother", but hi... (read in full...)

He's extremely possessive and mentally abusive but I still love him. Advice please!!

Q.   Hi. I am new to this so very nervous. I really need some advice about my partner. I have been with him for just over a year and I feel like I can't do anything right. He mentally abuses me constantly..well this is what I'm guessing it is?! He will ...

A.   13 November 2018: Good GRIEF, woman! What exactly do you love about him?! Misery likes company, HE is misery. Does mean HE is miserable. No, he quite ENJOYS making YOU miserable. He is trying to isolate you. First from your job (so you would be TOTALLY dep... (read in full...)

Why is the sex so stale? Is he not into me? Or am I doing something wrong?

Q.   I'll just jump right into it. Basically, I've been dating this guy for about 5 months. Been a few bumps along the way (pretty much all on my side but nothing too serious, some problems with trust due to past etc.) but that's aside from my po...

A.   13 November 2018: Sounds like he got lazy and perhaps just goes thru the motions. But so do you. Sex is between the two of you, so have you tried to take control a little and set the tempo? When talking to a partner about sex it's always good to point out... (read in full...)

My husband has had numerous affairs and somehow it's all my fault! Will he ever accept me and make me feel good about myself?

Q.   I am the most pathetic person I have been married for 28 years. When we met we lived a long way from each other and eventually I moved 250 miles to where he lived. At the time this was because his job was better paid than mine but I now realise ...

A.   13 November 2018: Do you have any income at all? One that could help you move to where ever (like back near family)? I kind of understand that after 28 years there is a familiarity, a "better the devil you know" kind of thing and that the two of you have settled ... (read in full...)

He literally flipped in 8 hours! Is he blowing me off?

Q.   Is he blowing me off? I've been friends with this guy for years. We talk daily and have recently decided to take things to the next level since we are both finally single at the same time. Plus, he always lived about 6 hours away and now hes only a ...

A.   13 November 2018: Where is the fire OP? I can't imagine having to potentially putting my PET down and then try and have a "romantic" weekend at the same time, so I totally get that he wants to be in a better head-space for that weekend with you, than he is in right... (read in full...)

He wants to be friends only!

Q.   I have been seeing a guy on and off for around 10 months, we’ve never gotten past the casual first stage due to him not being ready and so there have been gaps where we haven’t seen each other and dated other people, however always seem to come ...

A.   12 November 2018: You two are wasting each other's time. Quite frankly. He shouldn't have dated you in the first place if he wasn't READY to date and YOU should have dropped him as soon as he uttered the "I'm not ready to date" IF you were looking for a BF. J... (read in full...)

Are LDR's real relationships, even if you haven't met them yet?

Q.   Hello, I am currently in a long distance relationship with a man. He is from the US, and is 21 years old, and I am from the UK, and am 18 years old. We met online, and have been together for a couple of months now. We are still going strong...

A.   12 November 2018: Yes and no. If you go back in time, this has happened before all the modern day tech. Where people were set up by family and corresponded until they met. So LDR's are not really anything new. Is it a "real" relationship? Define real? I do th... (read in full...)

The girls I want to date end up dating other guys!

Q.   Hi everyone! This isn't such a serious situation, just looking for some advice and guidance. I met a girl a few weeks ago, we exchanged numbers and she went back to her city 2 hours away. We chatted every day, she flirted a lot and we had a g...

A.   12 November 2018: While I get that she could just have TOLD you that she met someone else, she really doesn't OWE you an explanation for talking to you, then not talking so much to you. Someone living two hours away that you BRIEFLY met and then chatted with mig... (read in full...)

I like a guy but another girl might steal him.

Q.   I like this uy named Jonah but im not sure how to go about it because we only talk in school and this one girl Aliyah may steal him but I feel like me and him have a connection...

A.   12 November 2018: You can't STEAL another person. THAT is not how things work! If she "gets" him before you do, it's because SHE made a move or HE liked HER better.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is perfect, but I want an open relationship.

Q.   Hi people. I met my current girlfriend a little over two years ago and I was not the social type back then. I never really went out a lot and hanging out with friends was pretty much 'indoor'. After I met her I became very outgoing. We went t...

A.   12 November 2018: You aren't missing a DAMNED thing. Having sex with more people doesn't make your life better. All it does is pollute what you have, raises the chance of STD's and break your GF's heart all over again. If you want an open relationship HOW... (read in full...)

I'm not in lov with him but scared of his reaction if I tell him.

Q.   How do you break up with someone your not in love with without hurting them?I think my new boyfriend is obsessed with me and something just doesn't feel right. About a year ago I had a hurtful breakup with my ex boyfriend of 3 years who I deep...

A.   12 November 2018: The sooner you end it the better. Tell him that you have realized he is far more invested than you are and that you don't want to waste his time, you just don't see this going to continue as a long term relationship. That maybe you jumped into a r... (read in full...)

Should I apologize before the concert or just leave it alone?

Q.   When we were dating, I had given my ex a Louis Vuitton necklace. After we broke up, I knew he would just throw it away, so I asked for it back and he said he would mail it. A week later, it hadn’t come in the mail, so I texted him and asked if he ...

A.   11 November 2018: I agree you need to LEAVE him alone! If he wants to TOSS a gift you gave him out... then that is NONE of your business. WHAT so ever! You GAVE it to him, it's HIS now. So if he doesn't return it (and I doubt he would) then SUCK it up, Buttercup... (read in full...)

She seems open but what if she is telling me lies?

Q.   Been single now for about 5 months after a long term relationship, and met someone a few weeks ago that i hit it off with, it happend very randomly and out of the blue. being careful, or at least trying to be ive had my guard up. but it feels right ...

A.   11 November 2018: I wouldn't bring up the parked truck, you have no idea what that is about. Could be a neighbor had friends over and asked to use her driveway or she had some family stop by to check on her since she was ill. So for now... forget about the truck. ... (read in full...)

Should I be strong and not burden people with my problems?

Q.   I'm really upset but wondering if I have every right to be or if my boyfriend was spot on and I need to get a grip. I have two children with my ex, we were together 8 years but then he cheated with his now wife. They got married within months of...

A.   11 November 2018: Well, I think you should grow a spine too and simply block her. You don't HAVE to take abuse over text from her. "running" to your ex hoping he will do what? reprimand her? spank her? Tell her to not use bad words to you? You see what I'm getting ... (read in full...)

My head is everywhere and I can't make a decision.

Q.   I’ve been with my boyfriend for 16 months and he left to go Australia in Feb this year, I knew from the start that that was his plans and I was fine with it and both decided to keep things the same way knowing with it being a long distance ...

A.   11 November 2018: OP, honey... You two have spend HALF your relationship in a LDR, while you "think" you can plan for all kind of things, you can't plan for change. He "promised" he would move back to the UK, to you after a year, but that was BEFORE he got to... (read in full...)

I cheated, fell pregnant, boyfriend left, I believe its his baby.

Q.   I cheated on my boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant in a month time. When I told my boyfriend about it he told me to give birth but after he will have a DNA test. I had to tell him the truth that I cheated on him.he then said he is not ...

A.   10 November 2018: You "conscience" or "feelings" is no way to PROVE he is the dad. DO the DNA test when the baby is born, if it's his, then it's his. HE CAN NOT refute DNA test.... (read in full...)

I love him but I feel sad and ignored.

Q.   Hello everyone, I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, but things have been rocky lately. Here's a little background info: i'm 27 and he's 36 years old, and has 4 kids. I do not have any kids of my own. Things were good in the beginn...

A.   10 November 2018: OP, he is ONLY with you for the sex these days. He doesn't WANT to invest emotionally in you, he doesn't take you out probably because he doesn't have the money, child-support for 4 kids is NOT a grab in the pocket... He pays attention to you duri... (read in full...)

Is what this 15 year old girl wears okay around a father who drinks?

Q.   Is it ok for a 15 year old girl to walk around the house in her bra around her father...and he drinks heavy so his judgement could be possible inpaired .what should I do? how should I handle this while staying with them....?...

A.   8 November 2018: I have teenage daughters who DO occasionally run around in shorts and a sports-bra in the house and yes, around my husband. In summer our house got as hot as Hades. No one cares. There is in no way anything sexual undertones about it. In the ... (read in full...)

My ex girlfriend wants to be reimbursed for gifts she gave me.

Q.   I have recently broke up with my girlfriend after nine months together, a couple of weeks before we separated she bought me a present but now we're not together she's asking me to give her back the money she spent on that present, I don't think ...

A.   8 November 2018: I agree with the majority here, GIVE her back the item. Not the money. Why would you even WANT to keep this thing? Give it back and it will be UP TO HER to get it returned/refunded. And then you cut contact. Let's say the present was a tr... (read in full...)

My sex obsessed friend makes me feel uncomfortable.

Q.   I have a best friend who is obsessed with sex. He talks about sex endlessly. He details everything he does with every guy (he’s gay). Every week there is someone new, every week the sex was amazing and without really checking I’m interested he will ...

A.   7 November 2018: Honestly, OP What do you get out of this "friendship"? Someone who doesn't respect your boundaries and go chasing after YOUR other friends for casual sex. So... in short someone using you to an extend. I had a female friend who LOVED to relish ... (read in full...)

She loves me but has a LDR boyfriend.

Q.   A girl has a boyfriend but she loves me. Her boyfriend lives far than Im living close to me. We had sex several times and we both promise to get married but she is yet break up with him? I need some advice.....

A.   7 November 2018: If she claims to love you, why hasn't she dropped the other guy? Are you prepared to marry a cheater? Because THAT is what she is. And do you think a ring on her finger will STOP her from cheating on YOU on the future? You can either give h... (read in full...)

I'm vegetarian, he's not. How can we compromise better?

Q.   I've been vegetarian for 4 years, since before I met my boyfriend. He's a big meat eater, and I honestly don't mind what he eats. I've never tried to convert him. We've found some common ground - we cook a couple of great vegetarian dishes together ...

A.   7 November 2018: Cook (if you can) one big portion of curry without the chicken, divide it up into meals and freeze. That way you can just heat YOUR veggie curry and add veggies. And he can COOK and eat his chicken curry. Whether or not carrots and chicken ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband look up the category of ex girlfriend in porn?

Q.   My husband occasionally uses my laptop. And sometimes watches porn on it, which is fine as long as our sex life is ok. I always delete the porn off my browser history as i sometimes need to bring my laptop into work. Anyway, apart from looking up ...

A.   7 November 2018: No idea, why not simply ask him? Or accept that he somehow think that it's "hot or taboo" and has no real importance in YOUR relationship. Him looking up " bbw redhead " doesn't mean he wants to be with his "bigger redheaded ex-GF". I might ... (read in full...)

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