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*oneypie agony aunt

*oneypie

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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Does porn preference coincide with sex preference?

Q.   My live in girlfriend of four years and I have a great relationship and a healthy sex life. I recently discovered that she is into porn. She forgot to close a tab on the browser and after seeing it I checked the history. She views a lot of intense, ...

A.   24 July 2014: I would agree with the yes and no. Somethings are PURELY fantasy. Other things might be something to explore. I'd buy her a pair of fluffy handcuffs and a blindfold and ask her if she wants to add them to the sex. If it's something you'd ... (read in full...)

Can alcohol really cause people to blackout?

Q.   Hello I was wondering as people claim they had a blackout after drinking excessively and didn't know what happened, is it real or just a way to avoid embarrassment? I have actually never had a blackout or a moment even with extreme drinkin...

A.   24 July 2014: Yep, just tell her, you were drunk, and I put you in the spare bedroom, you hit on me, but I walked away, a decent man doesn't take advantage of a drunk woman. She might remember snippets such as hitting on you or waking up in an unfamili... (read in full...)

Why would someone block their profile after sending a message?

Q.   I am on match.com ... I wrote someone a quick note whose profile looked interesting. He wrote back this real long letter that was quite pleasant but ended with the statement that he wasn't on the site on a daily basis .and gave me his e-mail ...

A.   24 July 2014: Yep, keep trusting your gut instincts.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has baby mama drama and I'm being pushed aside

Q.   I am dealing with some baby momma drama. My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about a year and a half. We really love each other and talk about a future together. We are both professionals....im a resident physician and he in school to ...

A.   23 July 2014: I think he is playing you like a super skilled violinist and YOU are letting him, because somehow YOU get something out of this relationship and all this drama. If you stay with this guy enjoy a stable diet of force feed bull crap, because ... (read in full...)

Is there such a thing as a ridiculously attractive average looking guy?

Q.   There have been a very very small number of guys who said they've done some kind of psychological exercises to become more attractive to girls and now they get checked out everywhere they go by a LOT of girls and don't have to say anything special ...

A.   23 July 2014: That would be my husband. Not that he "did any kind of psychological exercises and became a magical unicorn", but he is without doubt an Alpha male, with extremely good social skills, good sense of humor, brains, and enough attractive traits to ... (read in full...)

Is counselling the answer?

Q.   Advice please. My ex and I split up due to us growing apart and him cheating. We had two lovely children together. He was bitter I called it quits and at times made life difficult for the kids as a result and said some terrible things to me. We both ...

A.   23 July 2014: I think you already know that getting back together is the dumbest thing YOU can do, for you and YOUR son. It will NEVER be a healthy relationship. He will not change. I agree with WiseOwlE - you need to put your son first. And you are not doin... (read in full...)

I'm gay, I am dating two women, who do I choose?

Q.   hi i have a really bad problem i just met two women more less at the same time a couple of weeks ago. im a lesbian by the way and they both like me, im dating them both. i really like them both and no idea what one to choose at all. they both smoke ...

A.   23 July 2014: I agree with neither. You sound more like you need help picking out a vase or a tv, than a life partner. If dog hair is something you worry about, then you certainly don't feel anything along the lines of love or infatuation. How about you f... (read in full...)

I'm afraid the women I am seeing will fall apart if I would end things and I'm feeling the pressure

Q.   So, here's the situation. I've been seeing a woman that I met through mutual friends for about 3 months now. Generally, she's cool and very bubbly. I'm a little freaked out right now. She just came over and I told her that a friend of mine t...

A.   23 July 2014: I have to say, DO NOT date her because you feel pity or you are scared she will harm herself if you end the relationship. If you LIKE her as a person, and it seems to me that you aren't as into her as she THINKS she is into you... then continue... (read in full...)

The man I know now is so different from the one I knew 2 years ago. I feel trapped being with him!

Q.   I have been going out with this man for 2 years now. He seemed very sweet and attentive at first and has always desired me more than I do him but I've looked past that and tried to see other qualities in him. He is 45 years old and had been living ...

A.   23 July 2014: Oh eww... YOU do have a choice, REMOVE yourself from the leaser and any bills that are in your name pertaining to the lease/apartment. Then FIND yourself a place for you once you have a place of your own, pack up your stuff and move out. OR.... (read in full...)

Why would someone block their profile after sending a message?

Q.   I am on match.com ... I wrote someone a quick note whose profile looked interesting. He wrote back this real long letter that was quite pleasant but ended with the statement that he wasn't on the site on a daily basis .and gave me his e-mail ...

A.   23 July 2014: I agree with WiseOwlE - trust your gut. Can also be he had a free month pass to the site and handed out his e-mail to ladies who showed interest, hoping he could continue talking to them OFF the site. I'd skip this one. If he SIGNED up to Mat... (read in full...)

I've got back with my ex and its made my friend angry!

Q.   Just a basic question. Is it fair for friends to get angry at you over decisions you make for yourself and your life? For example, recently, I got back together with an ex who I have been on again/off again with for quite some time. And as soo...

A.   23 July 2014: My guess is you relied on her whenever you broke up. She helped you back on your feet emotional and now you went right back to something that OBVIOUSLY doesn't work long term. A relationship that is on and off doesn't really work. It's a temporary ... (read in full...)

Can alcohol really cause people to blackout?

Q.   Hello I was wondering as people claim they had a blackout after drinking excessively and didn't know what happened, is it real or just a way to avoid embarrassment? I have actually never had a blackout or a moment even with extreme drinkin...

A.   23 July 2014: Yes it can. I have had blackouts. I have left a club without remembering and some how finding my way home ( about 2 miles) waking up with my front door wide open ( I lived in a stairwell at the time, so you had to be buzzed in to get into the ... (read in full...)

With his herpes diagnosis, he never really mentioned being concern for me at all!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. He recently has been diagnosed with genital herpes, apparently herpes can stay latent and take awhile to manifest. I am still waiting on my results, never had an outbreak and hoping I am in the ...

A.   22 July 2014: I think I would have gotten hurt by that statement too, because it's so selfish and full of self pity it's almost disgusting. BUT.... This is a but as big as a barndoor... I don't blame him for feeling like damaged goods. However, herpes c... (read in full...)

How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship

Q.   How late is too late for guys to enter the dating game and start looking for a relationship. 25? 30? 35? I mean, to really just START! Never had a girlfriend, never been on a date before, maybe never even kissed a girl. This could all be due ...

A.   22 July 2014: Well, since you can't turn back the clock what else can you do but get out there and try? Or you will be in your 40's, and still ask if it is too late. 31 is not too late. My DAD met my mom at 16 and married at 18 - spend 45 year married, an... (read in full...)

Dating a month. So why is he saying he's afraid of being criticized by his friends if he loads a picture of me?

Q.   He said it was because he was afraid of being critized with his friends. But i'm a pretty girl, and the friends he does upload (which are girls look similar to me. So I don't understand what the real problem is. We have been dating for a month, ...

A.   22 July 2014:  So what? It's been a month. If he isn't READY to post pictures on Facebook of the two of you yet you should STOP trying to CRAM it down his throat. YOU can post all the happy couples pictures as you want. WHAT he posts on HIS FB is what HE... (read in full...)

Is this boy ignoring me, or does he just want sex?

Q.   This guy messaged me about a week or two ago. We'll call him "Isaac." "Isaac" and I went to middle school together, and he's two years younger than me. He is about to be a sophomore and I'm about to be a senior. When we were in middle school, I came ...

A.   22 July 2014: I think BOTH of you are jumping the gun. You are already getting "sexual" even if it's over the phone/text. You are giving him details that he doesn't NEED in order to get to know you. And details that CAN come back to bite you in the ass if he ... (read in full...)

We broke up but I still feel like I should tell him I went out for drinks

Q.   I was in a long distance relationship for almost a year. He and I had several problems throughout the relationship, initially about opening up and then trust issues towards the end. In the beginning after a month or so of dating he was demanding...

A.   21 July 2014: I think when he said that you two should work on your issues so you can get back together, he means YOU should DO as he wants (no men around you) and he can continue seeing his ex or whatever girl he wants. Maybe it IS totally platonic with his... (read in full...)

How do you tell a fake cry from a real cry? I think my ex fake cried to get me back!

Q.   Im not sure, but I think my ex might have fake cried as a way of trying to get me back. He told me before that he cried to try and get his exes back but he did it becuase he knew it would get them back. He knows that I know this, and he s...

A.   21 July 2014: Does it matter? If he is crying for real or fake, he is your ex for a whole other reason. If you don't WANT him back then ignore the crying. Crying is not a good enough reason to take someone back anyways. He DOES sound like a manipulati... (read in full...)

I love my girlfriend but don't want to have sex with her

Q.   okay so here's my question. I've been on my relationship for nearly three years nowand let me tell you with the greatest thing that ever happened to me.but here's thing, never had sex with my girl friend.and it wasn't even her choice it was mine. ...

A.   21 July 2014: Sex with a partner is another layer of intimacy. You can't get much closer to a partner then sex. There is lust (which you CLEARLY feel for your partner) but for most others the skin/skin contact, the euphoria of pleasure, exploration, and basically ... (read in full...)

Is he telling friends those things because he knows I'm over him?

Q.   Therrs this guy who ive known for a year and its like...we made out alot and I used to have like a huge crush on him. I even told him. But there was a few times he has kissed me cheek, but there was this time where he kissed me for no reason out of ...

A.   21 July 2014: My guess is, he KNOWS you had a crush on him and he thinks you still do, so he sees you as an "easy target" someone he can "persuade" into having sex with him. My advice don't. If he kisses you again, why not tell him to pucker up to a girl who... (read in full...)

Would any man even be interested in a woman of only five feet if she is not extremely slim ?

Q.   I'm recently back in the dating game after a long relationship but finding myself worried about my height . I only five feet tall and a little plump. I lost considerable weight through weight loss surgery and am happy with where I'm at now . I am ...

A.   21 July 2014: If you don't know already, learn how to dress YOUR body. Just like men, women comes in all shapes & sizes. If YOU are happy with YOU, it will shiny though. From what I know MANY men like short women.... (read in full...)

Should I hope for the best? Or allow my insecurity about my breasts be enough to put me off being intimate with a partner?

Q.   I recently got into a long distance relationship with an exceptionally charming man. We have made plans to meet in future but I am afraid of getting intimate for one reason: my breasts. I know it sounds silly, but I am very self conscious about ...

A.   21 July 2014: I think you are overthinking it. Don't forget when you stand your boobs look one way, when you lie down another. There is no cookie cutter mold for boobs that EVERY woman has to fit. He will be perfectly happy with what you got. If he isn'... (read in full...)

Am I just being stupid and paranoid as I do really love him but I don't want to be hurt and betrayed and these arguments are ruining us, should I put it all behind us and move on?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months. I am 21 and hes 26. Hes a very flirty guy and other girls love him but he's always made it clear that I'm the one and everyone can see how happy and in love we are. About a month into our r...

A.   21 July 2014: Well, you broke HIS trust by snooping. He broke yours by lying AND trying to set up a NSA sex date with a 17 year old. Personally, his EXCUSE that he felt insecure and missed is pathetic. Really that is the BEST excuse he could come up with? So the ... (read in full...)

Why would a girl that I hurt so much want to meet up after a couple years just 'to see how things were'?

Q.   Please advice on this would be great!! I don't want to be swayed by the lads incase I'm wrong and do something stupid again. I dated this girl for a while just over 2 years ago, a long time now and she didn't know how strong my feelings for her...

A.   21 July 2014: Third option. She never understood why you broke up with her, and she wants some sort of "closure". Or she wants to show you what you "let go". IF you want to met up then do so, If you have the NADS to explain why (if she asks) then do so... (read in full...)

Newlyweds and embarrassment of dealing with hair "down there"

Q.   How do newlyweds deal with hair "down there"? I mean, doesn't it get uncomfortable with the roughness of hair growing back or the embarrassment of ingrown hairs? I'm getting married soon and have never been intimate with anyone before. I'm anxious ...

A.   21 July 2014: Waxing WILL slow down the hair growth. Sugaring will too. http://hairremoval.about.com/od/sugarwaxing/a/wax-vs-sugaring.htm Sugaring is what I used before moving to the US. (they are much bigger on waxing over here lol) http://hairremoval.ab... (read in full...)

It's not that he's cheap, but he resents my paying for a housekeeper

Q.   Started living with my boyfriend and he expresses his negative opinion about my housekeeping methods. Basically I really can make myself do all the housework and i don't want him to do it also. He grew up in a household where his mother stayed home ...

A.   21 July 2014: My mom and dad both worked full time and had a cleaning lady once a week. My mom DID all the other cleaning, shop, washing, cooking. She just liked her house "just so" and thus has the extra help with the cleaning. When I moved out by myself (... (read in full...)

SHould I date this guy even though my family says hes just after me for sex?

Q.   So 4 weeks ago i started a new job and a co worker of mine has really taken a liking to me. I like him too, a lot, but I am 18 and he is 23. Now i know this is a very small age gap but i have a sister who's 22 and i have always said i refuse to date ...

A.   21 July 2014: You have known him for 4 weeks and he already knows all your sexual details? And you think he is NOt just trying to get into your pants? Seriously? I have worked in many male dominated workplaces and the majority of my friends have always been mal... (read in full...)

She took my virginity and now she's all cold?

Q.   So... Sort of a long story. I'm a 19 year old male and up until recently had been a virgin. Wanted to lose it to someone I care about. Well, I've been falling for this girl for a while, she knew the situation and was falling for me, but had a lo...

A.   21 July 2014: I agree with YouWish. She was hoping for some great sexual adventure (on the side) with you and when you were too nervous to be her "fantasy stallion" she might have realized her whole "imaginary hot affair" didn't go as planned. My guess is she g... (read in full...)

Is it good or bad to have a high angled Penis?

Q.   Anyone know if a high erection angle, e.g. 11 o'clock, is particularly stimulating to women or is there not much benefit to having one? I have one and sex doesn't feel that great for me because of it, I think. But if it gets girls off particularly ...

A.   21 July 2014: I think women don't care about the angle of the dangle. They DO care about HOW well you use what you got. (not just the penis, but hands, tongue, lips and so forth). Like Chigirls said, you NEED to find a position that works for YOU and YOUR par... (read in full...)

My B/f seems to think I should be available to fit around his busy schedule. Am I being out of line?

Q.   I'm looking for some advice on the argument I just had with my boyfriend please. He has been on vacation for 2 and a bit weeks, at a music festival in Spain. Before he left and during the course of him being away, I've asked him a couple of time...

A.   21 July 2014: Does he expect you to some sort of Polly Pocket? A GF he can pull out when it's convenient for HIM, who otherwise sits on the shelf, just in case he wants to see you? Seriously? I would not cancel plans, not with him or a friend. You can ... (read in full...)

I used to be happy in this marriage but now I'm just angry all the time

Q.   Hi I'm married been together for four years with a one year old daughter. I have a problem, I don't want to have sex with my hubby anymore, I don't like him touching me he has to initiate sex I'm really not in the mood so I can't enjoy it, i try to ...

A.   20 July 2014: Have you gone to see your doctor? Could be some residual baby blues. Could be you need to sit your husband down and talk. Make plans for some date-night, just the two of you. 1 hours of being "pounded" doesn't sound at ALL like something ANY WO... (read in full...)

I'm married and have been chatting with a man for a year. We'll never meet so its harmless isnt it?

Q.   Ok so where do I start. When I was on maternity, I spent long days in the house by myself. My husband has become rather un-attentive and has lost interest in most conversation. I was very lonely and restricted in money for doing activities...

A.   20 July 2014: Is it harmless as it will never come to fruition? If it was "harmless" you wouldn't HAVE these doubts. YOU said it yourself you feel like you are falling for him, don't you think that is CROSSING a line big time? What you are doing is... (read in full...)

Is there really ever a good time to break up with someone?

Q.   I've been dating someone for 3 months who has started to get clingy and needy. He's a very nice man and has many wonderful qualities but he is way more into this relationship then me. I'll give some examples of his needy behavior: He tex...

A.   20 July 2014: The guys was obviously really KEEN on having a full time MATE, not just a GF. 6 months is way short, but who knows maybe he found one who was as needy as he was. The thing is you two weren't a good fit, and that is OK. Doesn't mean the next gu... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's little sister is going all wierd on me.

Q.   Ok this is weird. Me and my girlfriend have been together for 4 and a half years. The other day we went to the water park with her younger sister. While there at one point the litter sister, who is 18 and I'm 20, started to tickle me underwater ...

A.   20 July 2014: Could be the little sister is crushing on you, I'd honestly NOT spend time one-on-one with her. Sounds a LOt more like a crush then wanting to hang with her "brother-in-law".... (read in full...)

Two exes, both wanting to rekindle the romance!

Q.   I was with my ex boyfriend for 8 years. We broke up two years ago but last month we bumped into each other randomly for the first time since the split. A lot of old feelings came up. We've been casually dating and hanging out since we met up. The ...

A.   20 July 2014: Hmmm.. Both relationships didn't work out in the past, any of the reasons why you broke up back then resolved? And yes you spend 8 years with him, it would be hard not to feel SOMETHING for him. As for the guy you saw last year, well why d... (read in full...)

Will I ever stop regretting that I wasted my 20s?

Q.   Hello helpers, Recently I am coming to terms that I have been depressed some way for nearly 10 years now. I didn't think I was before I just thought life was naff and I could never be happy. But anyway over the years I have spent time with no amb...

A.   19 July 2014: IF you WANT to stop regretting it you can. It's like everything else, but most of all.... REGRET is a waste of time. YOU can not change the clock, you can not change the past, so why put ALL that energy into the regret? All it will do is make you ... (read in full...)

Am I over reacting? My husband's been having outburts that make no sense. It this the start of domestic abuse?

Q.   I have been with my husband for five years, married for two of them. He is usually helpful, polite, funny and affectionate. In the last three years, there have been outbursts that made no sense. In the first one, he started an argument when we ...

A.   19 July 2014: Having a bad day, is having a bad day, you tell your spouse; "Honey today sucked I'm sorry if I'm not good company..." YOU do not HIT stuff or scare your spouse. What I think you NEED to do is ask him WTF is up. And don't do it when he is upset/ab... (read in full...)

His temper is threatening to spoil this relationship!!

Q.   I'm so stuck with this. I don't know if I'm being over picky or if I'm being sensible. My partner of 2 years is brilliant. No, better than that, he's incredible! We met a few years ago through mutual friends and he made it obvious he liked me but ...

A.   18 July 2014: I just don't get how this guy can be OH SO PERFECT... when he treats you that way. (even when it was "only" occasionally) I also know that most women (8 out of 10) stays with a guy like this, because they REFUSE to accept that THIS is who he i... (read in full...)

Why are some women so insecure when it comes to porn?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for the last five years. We met in high school and pretty much hit it off right away. We became instantly close from then and although we have our own share of problems, porn was never one of them. We have b...

A.   18 July 2014: Personally, I'm not bothered that my husband views porn, I don't see it as competition AT all, but MANY women do. I do find that men who can USE their imagination (instead of having to watch OTHERS have sex) are all in all better lovers. Doesn... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boyfriend I'm having twins?

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have had sex for a little bit about every weekend for 1month I'm 22 he is 23 and we weren't protected once. I thought he was wearing a condom turns out I was wrong... Now I'm pregnant. I told him and he was quite surprised but ...

A.   18 July 2014: OK that makes more sense, thank you for clearing that up. Since your BF already knows you are pregnant, having twins isn't going to be a huge difference.. yet.. Once you two have to buy all the stuff, bedding, clothes, formula, nappies - constantly ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boyfriend I'm having twins?

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have had sex for a little bit about every weekend for 1month I'm 22 he is 23 and we weren't protected once. I thought he was wearing a condom turns out I was wrong... Now I'm pregnant. I told him and he was quite surprised but ...

A.   17 July 2014: Unless you are more like 12 weeks along (not only a month) a ultrasound can't show twins. BUT going by your statement that the US showed twins... One or two babies, not much he can do, or you. All you can do is show him the US picture.... (read in full...)

Is there really ever a good time to break up with someone?

Q.   I've been dating someone for 3 months who has started to get clingy and needy. He's a very nice man and has many wonderful qualities but he is way more into this relationship then me. I'll give some examples of his needy behavior: He tex...

A.   26 November 2013: There is never a time like the present to dump this guy. He isn't for you. And it's not about his b-day or Christmas or whatnot, because then there is Easter and so forth. It's NOT working for you, so end it. Or suck it up and deal with more of ... (read in full...)

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