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Would going to the movies with an older male colleague be a mistake?

Q.   Hi everyone, A few months ago, I moved to a new city for a new job. Most of my colleagues are a lot older than I am, and I am basically the 'new' blood being brought in to compensate for those who are going to retire soon. Anyway, I'm new to t...

A.   25 August 2016: I'd go. But I would keep conversation to work/casual, nothing about your love life (none of his business). If he starts talking about problems with his wife, the whole my wife doesn't understand me or other bull crap to try and make you feel sor... (read in full...)

My boyfriend always says other girls are hotter!

Q.   i've been with my boyfriend for 4 months and i love him so much and i truly believe her loves me just as much in return but he will always say how other girls are hot, and if i say someone is hotter than me he doesn't deny it he normally just says ...

A.   25 August 2016: Of course it's normal that you feel upset. However it's also normal that we ALL notice good looking people, however your BF is kind being a jerk and immature about since he HAS to tell you everything. What's the point in that? To make YOU feel bad? ... (read in full...)

Is my ex boyfriend taking advantage?

Q.   Am I being taken advantage of?. My ex boyfriend started doing some painting in my apartment. He has done two days work so far. He doesn't decorate for a living. He just said he would help. He got in touch with me on facebook, after not contacting me ...

A.   24 August 2016: So tell him there was no agreement to paying anything as you have no money, and that you want no further contact. Then you BLOCK him and cut him off. If he shows up at your door, don't open. If he persist call the police. No should mean no. ... (read in full...)

Is my ex boyfriend taking advantage?

Q.   Am I being taken advantage of?. My ex boyfriend started doing some painting in my apartment. He has done two days work so far. He doesn't decorate for a living. He just said he would help. He got in touch with me on facebook, after not contacting me ...

A.   24 August 2016: What a mess. 1. Paint your own walls, it's not hard at all.. (after all your non-decorating ex can do it, so can YOU). 2. if you need carpet laid, PAY someone who KNOWS how to do it. So it will be done right, THAT is a cost you won't regret. ... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable wanting to take things slow after our breakup?

Q.   Hello to everyone... So I'm looking for some advice... My girlfriend and I had been together for six....almost 7 years. Anyway... We broke up and things got a bit messy. There were a lot of horrible things said.... She was hurting... I wa...

A.   24 August 2016: Wanting to make something work is great, but only IF there is something to work with. That is, someone who is honest with you and willing to figure it out, not fabricate answers they think they other one wants to hear. Wanting to work on a relati... (read in full...)

I'm still blocked, does he still hate me?

Q.   Hi - I had a bad fall out with a guy who I discovered was two timing me. He got annoyed because I found out a lot of things about him and made sure people knew about it and so understandably he blocked me! Two years later - I have moved on...

A.   24 August 2016: I agree with Auntie BimBim He probably haven't thought much about since he blocked you. Sort of "out of sight, out of mind". Doesn't mean he HATES you as you put, he just doesn't want anything to do with you. And maybe that is for the best for... (read in full...)

Intimacy question, boyfriend doesn't want to be intimate with me

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months who is 33. He is the one who asked me to be his girlfriend. Things are great , he is sweet and nice. However, whenever it comes to intimacy. He wants me to stay over at his place and we just cuddle. He a...

A.   24 August 2016: Talk to him. As Janniepeg pointed out, there could be a plethora of reasons why he hasn't pushed for sex or deeper physical intimacy than cuddles. Only way you will know, is if you ask him.... (read in full...)

How do I stop going into a panic while waiting for medical test results?

Q.   Need help! I am terrified of tests and physicals. It took all I had to go in recently to my doctor because of prolonged menstrual bleeding. My doctor ordered ultrasounds and other tests. I went through them but panicked and cried the whole time...

A.   24 August 2016: Definitely consider talking to someone professional. Part of my OCD is that I worry about EVERYTHING. I go through scenarios like you wouldn't believe it over little matters, CONSTANTLY. I got a pap-smear result back that said cell changes and... (read in full...)

My family doesn't trust my girlfriend

Q.   Hi. I am in a bit of a tough situation. I love my girlfriend very much and she really is amazing. She supports me, makes me laugh and is generally brilliant. The problem I have is my parents don't like her. They have trust issues with her (I don't...

A.   24 August 2016: Have you sat down with your parents (alone) and asked them what it is they don't like? If they can't pinpoint REASONABLE issues, I'd tell them that YOU will date her regardless. IF they point out things that you might have ignored because ... (read in full...)

I sent flowers to a girl at work and I didn't realise I had done so. Can the friendship be saved?

Q.   I'm looking for some help and advice. I'm friends with a co worker at work who is a female, we agreed to just talk at the workplace instead of facebook as she says gets overwhelmed by receiving messages. I did something I'm not proud of and sent her ...

A.   23 August 2016: So, will you talk to your therapist about getting "tools" to deal with your impulsive side? And will you APOLOGIZE to the girl? And then LEAVE her be? You come across as very smart, intelligence is great, but... it's not your IQ most people w... (read in full...)

I sent flowers to a girl at work and I didn't realise I had done so. Can the friendship be saved?

Q.   I'm looking for some help and advice. I'm friends with a co worker at work who is a female, we agreed to just talk at the workplace instead of facebook as she says gets overwhelmed by receiving messages. I did something I'm not proud of and sent her ...

A.   23 August 2016: TAKE responsibility for your action. You condition DIDN'T make you do it. You did it, hoping for a different outcome. GO to work and TELL her the flowers were a peace-offering for having offended her in the past with the whole NOT respecti... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable wanting to take things slow after our breakup?

Q.   Hello to everyone... So I'm looking for some advice... My girlfriend and I had been together for six....almost 7 years. Anyway... We broke up and things got a bit messy. There were a lot of horrible things said.... She was hurting... I wa...

A.   23 August 2016: I agree with Ciar, Don't make it a "double-date" or nothing. If you BOTH are hoping and looking for a reconciliation, it's between the TWO of you. Why not start out with something short, like a lunch ? SET an allotted time and MAKE each other ... (read in full...)

Will I ever find love? I've tried everything and nothing works!

Q.   I have been chasing guys for the last five years and I've come to a point in my life that I feel like I can't even go on a date anymore- I've tried online and that didn't work- I've tried going out a lot - that didn't work to meet men with my just ...

A.   23 August 2016: I think until YOU have found a bit of peace within yourself and have created a life you are happy with, it's going to be hard finding a partner that will "stick". I have read MANY of your other posts and I have to say they don't sound like a w... (read in full...)

My boyfriend promised to go on a trip with my mother and I but spent the money on other things and said he couldn't go!

Q.   My Bf of 3 years and I planned at trip with my mother. My mother lives overseas and while I was doing the application process to be able to bring her to America we planned to make a trip the 3 of us to welcome her. It was 6 months ago. The time ...

A.   23 August 2016: He shouldn't have said yes, to going on the trip and then go blow the money on "junk" just so he doesn't HAVE to go. I think I would just enjoy the week's vacation and not think about it. You and your mom will probably have more fun without ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for a man to be so close to a female cousin of the family?

Q.   I recently had this discussion with my BF and would like to seek everyone's opinion: We were recently at a family gathering where I met a lot of my BF's family members from out of State for the first time. He introduced this 15 year old girl to...

A.   23 August 2016: I think that is for the girl's family to decide if they are OK with or not. Just like YOU can decide for YOUR daughter what you feel it right. Do I think it's "disgusting" because they are cousins? No, not really. Many people have a crush ... (read in full...)

I'm not sure about a second date with him any more, my feelings have changed!

Q.   im not 100 % sure what to do and thats why im here . A year ago i went on a date with a guy we both wanted the same out of life then , the date was good and we got on well but he always had an excuse for cancelling a 2nd date ( always a 'family ...

A.   23 August 2016: I would call it off and say thanks, but no thanks. I don't see why you should waste any more time on this one. And the the "flakiness" might be due to social anxiety, it might also just be due to him talking to SEVERAL girls, disinterest and ... (read in full...)

He said he doesn't want me to spend the weekend at his place and now he's not responding to my texts! Help!

Q.   Dear Cupid I am dating a guy for past 5 months, we meet every weekend in his place. Its not perfect, but its good, he doesnt like talking in phone or texting, so i dont usually call him over the week, even if i do its rare that he picks up the cal...

A.   23 August 2016: I think you should consider the relationship over. He can't REALLY be bothered with you and criticize you for things most people do, like toss in a bed they are nor familiar with and/or talk in your sleep. And what is the point of dating someon... (read in full...)

My long-lost love has contacted me after 40 years but I'm in a relationship and he's married

Q.   A love from 40 years ago contacted me on my birthday via e-mail. We have been sending e mails back and forth for a week. Now I am dying to call him but I am afraid because I am with a relationship. He is married. We went separate ways because ...

A.   22 August 2016: Cut it off. No more communications. Don't live in the past and play with people's feelings and fantasies. He is married and NOT looking to rekindle the past, he is just unhappy and bored and figured YOU would "entertain" him a bit. OR are ... (read in full...)

Do I lie to avoid hurting his feelings? I did have a crush on him, but I've fallen for another

Q.   i have had a crush on someone for over a year now and i know he likes me to but just as he asks me out i realize i have fallen for someone else i told him to give me time to think about it but i dont want to hurt his feelings by telling him i do...

A.   22 August 2016: No don't lie. IF you ARE seeing someone else (not just crushing on someone else) then tell him, thanks for the offer to go out, but I am seeing someone else. If you think you have fallen for someone else... are you doing anything about t... (read in full...)

Am I making this about myself?

Q.   Can someone please tell me if I am over reacting and making this about myself? My husband's adult children are always in hard times because they don't have jobs or quit their jobs and one of them just keeps having babies that she can't afford. We ...

A.   22 August 2016: I think your husband is being a brat. I would suggest that HE budget in "emergency funds" for HIS children out of HIS income AFTER the shared bills/budgeted fun etc. is set aside. I get that IF you two didn't get together and married till AFT... (read in full...)

I know my ex has a new Gf, so why is he bothering to text me when he's drunk?

Q.   why do ex boyfriends send text when drunk? my ex continues to give me false hope with random contact, I know he has a new gf so why the drunk texts?? ...

A.   22 August 2016: Block him? It would make the most sense if you are trying to move on and he keeps wheeling you back in. You can't really "blame" him for trying, can you? My guess is he is hoping for a little booty-call on the side here and there. That is w... (read in full...)

Is he moving things along too fast? Is it normal to try to turn a hook-up into a relationship in this way?

Q.   I hooked up with this guy one night (no intercourse) and figured I'd never see him again. Through mutual friends, he got ahold of my number and asked me out. I said sure. In the past week, we have seen each other 3 times, although he's ask...

A.   22 August 2016: Yes, it does seem like he is rushing things. Might be because he sees you as someone he can have a future with, he likes your company or... he is a little "desperate" for a instant relationship. Just SLOW down if you feel it's a bit too much too... (read in full...)

How can I ignore her attention seeking toxic responses and move on?

Q.   I am in love with my straight best friend I have been in love with her since i met her...but by then, we were young. She partially reciprocated my love, because i have told her i love her. She however is afraid of really coming out...s...

A.   22 August 2016: So why keep her around? If she plays petty games with you? That doesn't sound like a friend you NEED to keep around in your life or social media. IF you don't want to unfriend/block her - hide her feeds.... (read in full...)

Is she playing me? Should I send her my love letter to her?

Q.   Hi everybody I am a senior in high school and on the third day of school I walked into class and this girl said hi to me and didn't know me and I said hi back. When I walked to the other side of the classroom she asked me to come and sit by her and ...

A.   21 August 2016: No, no no no no do not give her the letter. Instead GET to know her. You have been back to school for what? a week or two? It's not love, OK? It's infatuation and attraction. You really don't know her that well. IF you CAN'T even TALK to h... (read in full...)

Is this marriage worth saving? 11 years together, married eight years

Q.   When I met my husband I fell madly in love with him, I was still a Virgin he was my first love. Life was good.....two years later I realized my husband LOVES attention from females, we fought and fought about it so he called me names..... I'm j...

A.   21 August 2016: I think you have EVERY right to not want to stay married to him. Take the advantage of being married to a military personnel and contact and find yourself a GOOD counselor, NOT to fix the marriage but to give you tool to ... (read in full...)

Was my Bf being insensitive for not texting me all day? Or am I expecting too much ?

Q.   I need some objective advice. I am too close to the situation and too emotional I think. My boyfriend and I have been together for more than 3 years. Yesterday, he had family over for the day and did not contact me at all. I texted him at th...

A.   21 August 2016: You know, it might just be because I'm from a generation that DATED/COURTED etc before cell phones were readily available, but I find this such a OTT "problem" to have to NOT talk to a BF for one day. He had family over, THEY were his focus that ONE ... (read in full...)

I feel awkward about my crush. She's 16 and she's the niece of my mother's boyfriend. What should I do?

Q.   Hi hopefully someone can offer me advice on an issue that is playing on my mind, I'm a 27 years old and male. So down to the problem, I am starting to become infatuated with my mum's boyfriend's niece. I never really noticed her before but she ...

A.   21 August 2016: Looking "mature" in the face doesn't MAKE her mature. SHE is a kid, YOU are an adult. So act like the grown up here and knock it off. A crush is just that a crush, an infatuation nothing more. Go out with friends and meet people your OWN... (read in full...)

My Bf's cousin died recently, in a car accident. Now he's acting all weird. What did I do wrong?

Q.   I have been dating my bf for the past 3 1/2 months and I love him so much and he loves me. but recently he lost his cousin in a car accident. He was acting fine all day yesterday and then my friend called me. He is gay and he lives across the coun...

A.   21 August 2016: His cousin just died and YOUR friend threaten him with death? I can see why your BF have cooled his affections. Seriously. It's not CUTE for a male friend of yours to do that. And I agree your friend owe him an apology. Had it been your brothe... (read in full...)

When I was much younger I wrote love letters to a teacher. Yes, inappropriate, at the time. Why didn't the teacher report me at that time?

Q.   I use to write love letters to my teacher, I did not know the boundaries of teacher students I obviously knew you can't have a relationship with a teacher but I had no idea you could get into trouble for writing love letters. Until a different ...

A.   21 August 2016: He could have reported it, but the school decided to do nothing OR he could have "archived" them directly in thrash. Doesn't really matter when it comes down to it. You had a teacher who didn't act on your crush, who didn't take advantage and that... (read in full...)

He's ten years older. Could this relationship work?

Q.   Im in love with the guy I had my first time with. I had my first time recently. How do i know Im in love with him? Well, I think he is the most beautiful person on earth. Literally, I cant see other guys without comparing him to them... and I...

A.   21 August 2016: I agree with Cindy. Whether this would work on not comes down to what happened during those 8 months of "talking". If there were no REAL in person dates/outings but just (sorry) chat over FB,text or some app... And as much as I think age gaps a... (read in full...)

He treats me with disinterest. How can I get the courage to tell him to ''get lost'' ?

Q.   So this is a bit complicated and I will try to keep it short. I used to have a thing for a guy when I was 16. I asked him out when I was 19 but he said no since he was in a relationship(which I was unaware of). Then I decided to move on and ...

A.   21 August 2016: You know, remembering birthdays is not a friendship. It's a habit. And the way he treats you with such dismissive behavior is NOT a friendship either. You can't MAKE him want to be a friend. So blocking him on your phone, FB etc. is totall... (read in full...)

I've tried medication and therapy and yet still I feel alone and miserable. How can I overcome these feelings?

Q.   I used to be a go-er. A girl on the move I used to go out and party or be around fake friends 4 out of 7 days a week. I used to be a people pleaser and chase men relentlessly to fill the loneliness. I most recently I got so tired of getting ...

A.   21 August 2016: Therapy and/or meds are not an instant fix. Life doesn't work that way. For some it takes YEARS of therapy to get to the root and then to deal with it. The reason you feel unfulfilled is because you ARE unfulfilled. ONLY you can change this.... (read in full...)

I am feeling grief at the loss of this long term relationship. How can I get through this grief?

Q.   Dear Cupid. This is the first time I have written on one of these sites but I felt I need some help. I have been married now for around 31 years and whilst we generally get on the sparkle as gone. Sex life is non existant and we have now both...

A.   21 August 2016: You can't be blamed? And it's not fair on your wife if you walked away? WHY? Does your WIFE not deserve to be treated with honesty and respect? Does she DESERVE to be lied to? Cheated on? Does she not deserve to be happy with someone who L... (read in full...)

When my boyfriend doesn't get what he wants, he becomes verbally aggressive. How do I handle this?

Q.   Hi all So my boyfriend of 3 years really confuses me and upsets me at sometimes the most smallest things. He's working this Saturday and I am not. After work on Friday he asked " can I take your laptop at wok tomorrow so I can watch the foot...

A.   20 August 2016: Do you think his behavior is OK for a GROWN man? He isn't exactly 5. YOUR LAPTOP, your choice. I'm wondering how you handled this in the past, because my guess is , this is pattern for him? Have you usually given in? The getting "stroppy... (read in full...)

Guys never hit on me and I think it's because I have a big nose. Should I get a nose job?

Q.   I never/barely get hit on by men. I see other women get hit on men frequently, but men do not frequently hit on me. Only homeless men or guys I don't find attractive will call me beautiful out of nowhere. Once in a blue moon, I will catch a guy ...

A.   20 August 2016: It's not your nose that is getting in the way of you meeting a guy. It's you. You a think that because men YOU want to hit on you don't, it must be your nose. It must be YOU there is something "wrong" with. Only thing I can see "wrong" ... (read in full...)

Accidently ccontacted an ex' - now he won't leave me alone

Q.   I was bored upon a day, and this boredom spilled over to the next few days. So I checked my contact list on watsapp and began messaging friends I don't talk to anymore, then I messaged one of my ex boyfriends(one who disrespected me and still owes ...

A.   20 August 2016: "Before you judge me, let me say this. I have a boyfriend who I can't stand and I don't go out much " SO break up with this BF you can't stand! And BLOCK the ex on whatsapp. It's not like you need HIS permission to block him or not - and aft... (read in full...)

My first love and I have reconnected after 30 years

Q.   I linked with my ex over a year ago, my first love. We have know each other for 30 years. I have a family. He is single with no ties. We have been on dates and slept together a few times but kept it light. It was his birthday a few weeks ago...

A.   20 August 2016: There is nothing for you here. The guy you fell in love with 30 years ago, is not the man you have met up with. HE let you slip through his fingers 3 times, my guess is because he wasn't as attached. Someone who hasn't REALLY wanted to seriou... (read in full...)

There is somethig fake about my sister's new boyfriend

Q.   I find my sister's new bf weird, but I keep my mouth shut and mind my own business. Is it the right thing to do? She's almost 40 and is absolutely terrified of loneliness. A part from one year-long relationship she's had a few encounters and m...

A.   20 August 2016: If she ASKS for advice of what you think/feel tell her but do it gently. You could bring up that moving for love is a great idea when two people KNOW each other and have for a good while I'd say minimum 1 year - if she talks about moving. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's former in laws paint a rosy picture of her abusive ex

Q.   Three years ago I met and fell in love with "Kate" she was in a very abusive relationship and my friend and I helped her get out of it. I honesty believe if she hadnt left when she did he would have killed her. Last year he committed suicide while ...

A.   20 August 2016: Honestly? I think it would be best coming from HER, not you. And even then, some people will refuse to "see" the truth because it means THEY would have to take SOME responsibility in the mess. I would talk to your GF about limiting their contact ... (read in full...)

I'm only turned on by blowjobs!

Q.   Hi there. I'm a heterosexual man, but I've been stuck with this since I started to feel sexual needs. What I have is pretty weird: I'm attracted to girls, but the only sexual activity I'm interested in are blowjobs. I don't like women vaginas, I...

A.   19 August 2016: I can't say what's normal, but I can tell you that you will end up not getting squat when you GIVE squat. It's utterly selfish to think ANY woman would be content with JUST giving head and receiving nothing in return sexually. What exactly ... (read in full...)

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