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*oneypie agony aunt


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*oneypie's profile:

I'm 42, married with 3 kids and a couple of pet. Been married little over 13 years. Been thru good times and rough times. Thru open communication and love we overcame problems in the marriage and thru all that I learned a lot about me and about relationships.

I have a college degree, which I do not use at the moment. I'm hoping to go back to school for another which I do intent to use:)

I have strong family bonds and have traveled the world.

I'm a good listener and I try to "put" myself in whomever's shoes. I believe in honesty, morals, values, love, trust and good communication. So the answer I give out I do so with a lot of though and honesty behind it.

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Is it true that you might not deliver a healthy baby after age 35?

Q.   Hi everyone. Ive got this problem thats get on the way of my life when i think of it. Ive lost my boyfriend 2 years ago from suicide so since then i haven't had anyone in my life. Im so in need of love as im scared i might end up alone or without ...

A.   22 May 2015: The older you get (after 35) the bigger the risk the pregnancy is. For you AND the baby, but it's still a LOT lower risk at 35 than 40+ I had my youngest at 35, she was smaller then my first two (about a pound) and was born earlier (about 2 weeks)... (read in full...)

Wife of 5 years says her heart was always with someone else

Q.   I’m just devastated by the news that I just received, and just wondering if I can get perspective from other men and women. My wife and I have been married for 5 years, together for 7. I accepted her 2 children from her previous marriage with op...

A.   22 May 2015: Sorry, I'd divorce her. But I would encourage her to find a job asap THEN divorce her, so you don't have to pay alimony on top of child support. THIS was NEVER about you not being good enough, not spending enough time or any other excuse SHE used... (read in full...)

He talks about kissing and I get nervous. Is this a sign of attraction/

Q.   Hi all, I am 25 years old and recently, I met a guy on an online dating site. I am taking caution and so far, I find his personality, mindset, and attitude decent enough to continue getting to know him. But I am unclear as to why I get nervous an...

A.   22 May 2015: Is being nervous a sign of attraction? No, not in this case I think you are nervous because he IS jumping AHEAD with things when you BARELY know him and have NEVER met. Let's say you met face to face and he is NOT at all attractive to you (or vice ... (read in full...)

Am I evil because I want a second opinion from another counselor?

Q.   My bf and I have started seeing a couples counselor again. It was my idea because I thought us having guidance was a good idea. However, the issues I brought up I wasn't happy with the counselor may not have seen the whole picture. Straight up, I ...

A.   22 May 2015: If you don't feel the counselor is HELPING, request a new one. Other wise you are wasting your time and money. It's not about being evil. Finding a counselor who can SUPPORT you BOTH is vital, one that takes sides? is not doing his/her job IMHO... (read in full...)

If they arent legally his, should they be his heirs?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for about 10 years, living together for 7, with no plans for marriage. That part is fine with me actually. I have 2 sons who are currently 15 and 18, so BF has pretty much raised them and is their Father figure. ...

A.   22 May 2015: I think IF you are so fine with NOT being married, you should be FINE with him giving his RELATIVES (nephews) the second life insurance and stocks/bonds/whatever. It doesn't matter HOW much the nephews make or have. That is actually besides the ... (read in full...)

The guy I've been talking with for two years or my crush?

Q.   I went out to eat breakfast with this guy(J) I met since orientation in college. We had such a good time. Well problem is that we had each others number but didn't text each other at all. Also, I am talking with someone(X) for almost 2 years but ...

A.   22 May 2015: EDIT : I wrote: Which is kind of superficial and really very serious. More like a pen-pal (only with texting) ---------------------------- Should have been: Which is kind of superficial and really NOT very serious. More like a pen-pal... (read in full...)

He just stopped responding. Should I text him?

Q.   There's this guy I like a lot and we were both at a party and we danced the entire night together and we kissed too. That night after we separated, he snapchated me which I responded to for a while and then a day later he texted me and we talked ...

A.   22 May 2015: Why do you think YOU did something wrong? It seems girls have this nothing if a guy is in hot pursuit, THEY must have done something wrong. If you want to know what's up CALL him or TEXT him. Don't play those little "I don't know what to say... (read in full...)

The guy I've been talking with for two years or my crush?

Q.   I went out to eat breakfast with this guy(J) I met since orientation in college. We had such a good time. Well problem is that we had each others number but didn't text each other at all. Also, I am talking with someone(X) for almost 2 years but ...

A.   22 May 2015: I have to say for now? I'd pick neither. You have known X for 2 year and never gone on a date? He has never asked you out? And most of your communication is through texting, if I get you right. Which is kind of superficial and really very serious.... (read in full...)

Things have been volatile. She's been a flirt with someone one else. I've been angry. So where to now with our relationship? .

Q.   HI people. I need advice. I accidentally found a message from my girlfriend that a guy sent her asking "what she would like him to do ;)". setting aside the winky face, this could have been innocent or harmless flirting,so I waited to see if...

A.   22 May 2015: You think this is a case of WHO is the "most wrong"? It's not. What she did was questionable and for many a total deal-breaker - you don't "talk" about a guy running his fingers up your thigh for giggles and grins. IT IS a form of cheating. It... (read in full...)

I want to shut my brother out of my life but my family will not give up on him? How do I still shut him out?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am not after romantic relationship advice, but family relationships. I have a brother. I will start from the beginning so you can advise knowing absolutely everything there is to know. He went to the army when he was 17 and was ...

A.   22 May 2015: I would cut the contact and NOT be there to listen to the GF complain. SHE is choosing to STAY with him. YOU can't fix that and you CAN'T fix your brother. At family gathering I'm sure there are plenty of other people to talk to besides him. I'd... (read in full...)

What is he trying to imply? He sent me back a message saying ''love,love,serve''

Q.   I wrote this man and said we are attracted to each other, he wrote me back and said love, love, serve. I know that is a tennis term, but what does he mean?...

A.   22 May 2015:  I think he was trying to be cute, but.. he i also saying that the NEXT move is yours.. So.... Ask him out?... (read in full...)

Its going on 2 years, we've never met and he won't respond to my questions of "what are we"

Q.   So I've been in this Long-distance "relationship" for more than over 1 yr., almost 2. I'm 21 and he's 26, we met on an app and have been talking ever since. Yes we have seen each other so there's no cat fishing here. He lives more up north and I ...

A.   22 May 2015: I can tell you what you have. You two have a fantasy. You chat and videochat, sexy phone chats.... but that doesn't make it more REAL. 2 YEARS and NEVER having met in person makes it a fantasy. You HOPE that if you met in person all the backgrou... (read in full...)

Where does all of my boyfriend's money go? He gets angry when I ask him

Q.   I love my boyfriend. He loves me. We've been together for a year and lived together since 3 months of dating. I lost my last boyfriend who I lived with my all heart to a drug problem I was helping him fight for years. My boyfriend was with one girl ...

A.   22 May 2015: Have you found a job yet? If not get out there and find one or.. at least LOOK for one. Sit him down and tell him ,hey since we are ONLY living on one paycheck (his) don't you think we should make a budget so we won't end up with no food, water or... (read in full...)

Can someone explain this co-worker?

Q.   My male co worker refuses my help with at work. I don't really ask him if he needs help but if I walk by him he will wait for about 5 or 10 minutes until someone else comes along. It's really simple things too, like can I help watch his class or ...

A.   22 May 2015: My guess is he is uncomfortable with asking you, because you are "newer", younger or because you are a female. Leave him be, if he won't ask you for help, THAT is on him. I'd say be professional and STOP offering to help.... (read in full...)

Why after all this time - does he still show such hatred towards me?

Q.   Hi, I've heard about men and women falling out on bad terms due to affairs, jealousies etc - but can someone please explain the hatred still shown to me by this guy? The thing is - I am single and got close to a guy who fancied me, last year, n...

A.   22 May 2015: Why waste time trying to figure out what his ISSUES are? He obviously didn't LIKE rejection and didn't understand why YOU didn't want him and WHY you thought it was any of your business what chick he pursued after you. Leave the whackado... (read in full...)

A girl texted me saying that my b/f asked for her number. I don't know how to talk to him about it

Q.   I need to speak to my boyfriend about something that has previously caused problems in the past in our relationship. The problem is, and it may sound stupid, but I don't know how to tell him. Basically, a girl has messaged me and said that my boy...

A.   22 May 2015: Just tell him:" So this chick Anna texted me to inform me that you asked for her number a few weeks ago and it quite frankly baffles me." Tell him:" To me asking FOR and giving out your number usually means you WANT to talk to someone, or because ... (read in full...)

I'm tired of my boyfriend's mother blaming me when he does something wrong

Q.   I'm tired of my mother in law (MOD NOTE: technically boyfriend's mom..they aren't married) I have been living with her for 2 years now but one thing she does in particular annoys the shit out of me whenever my boyfriend her son posses her off I get ...

A.   22 May 2015: Why are you living with your BF's mother? Maybe that is the root of her anger, not the episodes of your BF doing dumb stuff....... (read in full...)

He says nothing is wrong but always has excuses for not contacting me

Q.   I met this guy on a dating site. He texts me often and we decided to meet in real life. A few days after we've both returned to our various countries he starts to ignore me. We had so much fun times together. He's active on facebook and Whatsapp but ...

A.   22 May 2015: Maybe he has another girl in his own country? He sounds like he is NOT really serious. Neither of you have "invested" a lot in this, so why not let him go and find someone closer by who WANT to talk to you, and want to be around you and with you... (read in full...)

Will my compromise work? My boyfriend has become very sexually posessive, and it's starting to bother my husband.

Q.   My husband has always allowed me to have sex with other men and this has, up till now, made for a very fun and happy marriage of almost 20 years. I have been with my latest lover for a couple of years now and am very much in love with him (and wi...

A.   22 May 2015: I find it ridiculous that your "lover" has more SAY over your sex-life then your husband. And I find it even MORE ridiculous that you "let" him have this power. A lover is replaceable, IS your husband?... (read in full...)

Is my Bf too good to be true? I like him, my family don't like him.

Q.   I just recently got into a relationship with this guy. I've had a thing for him a long time and he has too. so we decided to make it official. The problem is he is a bad boy. Half of my family doesn't even like him already, without even kno...

A.   21 May 2015: I think you family is looking out for you. "Bad boys" are called that for a reason, they are NO GOOD. I know there are a LOT of (specially) young women who thinks that these "bad boys" will change FOR THEM because well loves does that, right? N... (read in full...)

Why have I had no luck in love?

Q.   Why have I had no luck in love? Is it normal for a woman who has been told she is fairly good looking with a good personality to have had such bad luck in love? For one thing - I never really started having relationships until I was in my ...

A.   21 May 2015: I have to agree I don't think it's a matter of "bad luck". Could it be you are attracted to guy who "look" good (kind of like on paper) but in reality they a are not? You talk about this gorgeous guy who ended up "running off" with a friend i... (read in full...)

How can I come to terms with, accept, and overcome my jealous feelings towards a woman who has done better in life than me?

Q.   My problem is some kinda jelousy. I am 52 y old now and I am an artist. I did very well on my career,but had some very powerful people that wanted to exchange some favors with me,which I never did. My career went to a higher level,but in som...

A.   21 May 2015: You took ONE path, she took another. I get that you feel jealous that she "got" to do thing and "get" material things, but YOU got you keep your morals intact. I don't think there is a price for that. MANY artists do not get famous, but make a l... (read in full...)

What does privacy in a marriage mean to you?

Q.   Thinking In regards to a traditional old fashioned marriage like your grandparents had/have, what does privacy in a marriage mean to you? What is considered snooping into other peoples things? Examples? What is considered snooping as far as social...

A.   21 May 2015: I agree that privacy is going to the bathroom by yourself with the door closed. Privacy is RESPECT for each other as an INDIVIDUAL. We have each other's passwords to EVERYTHING, but that doesn't MEAN I go through his things. I don't snoop his Face... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this calculating intern before things get out of hand?

Q.   I have a potential problem at work. Our company is really small - my boss, who has two other companies, and I. In the office (which is basically one room in his otherwise big apartment) there are only two desks, one of which is for my boss’ ...

A.   21 May 2015: Ah, I kind of figured it was a favor to a friend. In THAT case I would try and "endure" her for the remaining two months. I would find her some HARMLESS busywork to occupy herself with. Messing with family connections can land YOU in hot water, a... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this calculating intern before things get out of hand?

Q.   I have a potential problem at work. Our company is really small - my boss, who has two other companies, and I. In the office (which is basically one room in his otherwise big apartment) there are only two desks, one of which is for my boss’ ...

A.   20 May 2015: Call your Boss for a private meeting, and tell him she is NOT working out. That you spend more time "fixing" issues SHE is causing then HER actually being helpful. BE honest and be professional. Is she a friend or family members daughter (of the ... (read in full...)

If your boyfriend's sex drive is suddenly higher lately, does that mean he is cheating? How can I determine this?

Q.   If your boyfriend's sex drive is suddenly higher lately, does it mean he is cheating on you? We have always had amazing sex and he has had a healthy sex drive, like me, but just seems a little hornier the last week. Not sure why? We have ...

A.   20 May 2015: I don't think it's an indication that he is cheating, but it is an indication that HE feel comfortable enough to suggest the sex be about HIM (only). Now personally.... it takes two to tango, it shouldn't JUST be about HIM. Sorry, his right hand can ... (read in full...)

I don't think I can do a long distance relationship with a man who has a kid

Q.   I have been dating a guy for two years with a kid. Recently, he's graduated from college. We've been discussing moving in together for a while over the Summer. He wants to take a year off from school but lately he's been talking about going to grad ...

A.   20 May 2015: The whole point of a LDR is to make it a relationship where BOTH parties are no longer long distance. What he is suggesting is that he wants to take a year off and "play house" with you while he decides if he wants to do grad school, which ca... (read in full...)

How can I get over him? I am so hurt about the way he's communicated with me, and rejected me, in the past

Q.   So I got with this guy at the start of freshers week in September, he's a friend of my housemate, he doesn't remember it and I don't remember much. Anyway my other housemate who likes to stir things keep on snapchatting photos of me to him so event...

A.   20 May 2015: Being friend with someone you have romantic feelings for is rarely easy and rarely a good thing to do. Because you end up standing on the side lines watching HIM live his life without YOU being a central part of it. You said you tried to cut the ... (read in full...)

Feeling stressed by people's negative outlooks re job market. I'm majoring in Dental Hygiene. But I am hearing that the job market is experiencing no jobs in this field. what else could I study allied to dental where jobs may be easier to find?

Q.   Hello- I am currently in college majoring in Dental Hygiene. I have been stressed out due to negative feed back people have been telling me. I have considered ultra sound tech, and surgical tech as well and just not sure which path to choose. ...

A.   20 May 2015: I think you should talk to your Campus Career Counselor and not just listen to what people (who may or may NOT know the market that well). Why not FINISH the Dental Hygienist and see where it takes you? though if you want to stay in Dental b... (read in full...)

My 17 year old daughter has told me she is bi-sexual. I've accepted it, but I am very upset by this news. What's the best way for me to go forward?

Q.   Yesterday, my 17 year old daughter told me she is bi-sexual. I have noticed for a couple of months that she has been very distant from everyone except me. I asked her to tell me what was wrong and she eventually told me. I am very proud of th...

A.   20 May 2015: Being bisexual just means she CAN be SEXUALLY attracted to BOTH genders, doesn't mean she will ONLY date women. It might be a mix of both at some time. I don't think she is copying her gay male friend. It doesn't mean she will all of a sudden BE ... (read in full...)

Is this a case of Grass is Greener Syndrome? She broke up with me so suddenly

Q.   Hello people. I am hopeing to get some advice here. I will keep it short: She is 21, and I am 10 years older. As far as I know she only had one real BF before me, and he cheated a lot on her. We have been together for about 8 months. It h...

A.   20 May 2015: I think she is 21 and VERY immature and inexperienced. You rode in on your white horse and tried to make things a LITTLE to serious a LITTLE to fast. Selling your house and getting a new job all within 8 months? Is too soon. I don't think it's... (read in full...)

Why is he so against unblocking me & why is he still with this other woman? What does she have that I don't?

Q.   Hi, I had a bad fall out with my ex a few months back over another girl he was seeing on the sly. I was ready to forgive him as we were only casually seeing each other - but he had already blocked me by then. The thing is - 6 months down the l...

A.   20 May 2015: What does she have that you don't? Who knows? Why compare yourself to her? What good does THAT do? He was seeing two girls CASUALLY, you and her. When you found out you had a fall out with him, so he STUCK with the other girl. HE made that cho... (read in full...)

Why do you think I haven't heard from her? Is she waiting till I contact her?

Q.   So I took a girl out on a date almost a week ago. She was very confident and poised and calm. She was definitely flirting with me, and when we were in the car she would look at me all the time and smile and when I would drive fast she would sa...

A.   20 May 2015: I would CALL her and plan a second date. That way you will know one way or another if she is interested. Don't leave half open invitations, like are you doing anything tomorrow? She might think YOU are not interested, since you haven't bothered... (read in full...)

I'm considering quitting my job before I go on vacation.

Q.   I've been working part time at a job for 4 years now and I'm starting to become very annoyed and bored with it. Also, both of my managers are assholes and treats me like shit, despite me being one of the best and most hardworking employees there. I...

A.   20 May 2015: Honestly I'd stick it out till you have something else. People are having a hard time finding jobs as it is. It MUST suck to have bad managers, take from this job all you can (as far as experience) and use that in your next one. I'd start looking ... (read in full...)

One minute he wants space, the next minute he's worried...

Q.   I had to break it off with him 5 days ago because he told me he wanted space. Would come back tell me he missed me and go on as normal. But if i asked about us he'd say he wasnt ready for a relationship, the demand of it. I waited for nearly a month ...

A.   20 May 2015: You know, I find it odd that SO many guys get into relationship and THEN find out that they don't want to be in one - yet they do not seem to COMPREHEND that the girl they are "toying" with actually gets hurt by this incisive behavior. These guys DO ... (read in full...)

Am I unreasonable to be upset that she won't come out for my birthday meal with family?

Q.   IT is my Birthday next week and my family are going for a meal in the evening. Naturally they have invited my girlfriend of three years. She says she doesn't know if she can come because she has plans with her family during the day, and it may put ...

A.   20 May 2015: Unless she has a family member in the hospital, then YES I would be put out by her unwillingness to show up for your birthday dinner. How hard would it be for her to tell her family I have to be at XX place at XX time to go to a dinner celebrating ... (read in full...)

Should I text him, or just leave it be?

Q.   Hi I usually answer problems as an auntie on this website, but I have a question of my own. I have been flirting with a man I like for about a year. He has done most of the flirting, I'm not good in being forward, but I do let him know his attentio...

A.   20 May 2015: I think as much as he likes to give you attention he ALSO likes to "withhold" it, and to make YOU chase him. He likes control like that. And I think he knows that you ARE interested, but still haven't done a thing to ask you out. Kissing you, yes.. ... (read in full...)

I have a boyfriend but kissed my married manager at work and now I'm all messed up!

Q.   I am in a tricky situation.. I've been with my Boyf for 4 years I'm 20 years old and recently got my dream job.. My manager is 25 and married. So recently I put in for another job within the Same organisation, however I was told my manager picked ...

A.   19 May 2015: I agree, you SHOULD feel like an idiot, because what you did WAS idiotic. Not only did he pull the whole "my wife" BULL CRAP (I married too soon is just a variation of blaming the wife for him not being happy) and you fell for it hook, line and... (read in full...)

How to tell guy I'm seeing that he has bad body odor and a messy room?

Q.   I've been seeing this guy I really like for about a month now. I dropped the other people I dated just to focus on our relationship (that's how much I like him). So far, so good. He's nice, cute and has an amazing personality. Here's the catch: I ...

A.   19 May 2015: Don't offer to clean for him. He is a GROWN ASS MAN and can clean his place himself. YOU are not his mom or his maid. Tell him, honey I really like spending time with you but your place is disgusting, do you think you could clean it up? It's lik... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boss that I can't come to work as I'm already booked to attend a convention? Not sure how to break the news.

Q.   Modnote: poster clarified that she holds 2 jobs. One weekdays Mon-Fri and one part time at weekends. .............................................................. I work as a Nanny full-time 9-5 Monday through Friday. A week or so ago, she told me ...

A.   19 May 2015: Well, I'm glad you told her and that she realized he doesn't "own" you. Enjoy you vacation and hopefully your next employer will be a less "dramatic" person. ... (read in full...)

How do I tell my boss that I can't come to work as I'm already booked to attend a convention? Not sure how to break the news.

Q.   Modnote: poster clarified that she holds 2 jobs. One weekdays Mon-Fri and one part time at weekends. .............................................................. I work as a Nanny full-time 9-5 Monday through Friday. A week or so ago, she told me ...

A.   1 May 2015: She told YOU ... Well, I'd tell HER that unfortunately your LAST day will be the 26th (or 25th) as you have a vacation booked already and can not change the dates. She can either accept it or not... What is she going to do? ... (read in full...)

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