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| | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 47 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
No replies yet... 23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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I'm absolutely ashamed of myself! I made out with a married friend
Q. This past weekend, I was at an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We have been going for a very long time -- our kids all use to come but many of them have grown up now. There are about 30 of us. I still attend although I am single ...
A. 18 June 2013: It is true that a lot of married men will try it on, with single women because they see them as a safe opportunity to get a thrill and some sex on the side.
I think you can build on these shameful feelings you have and turn them into somethin... (read in full...)
I'm absolutely ashamed of myself! I made out with a married friend
Q. This past weekend, I was at an annual camping trip with a bunch of friends. We have been going for a very long time -- our kids all use to come but many of them have grown up now. There are about 30 of us. I still attend although I am single ...
A. 18 June 2013: I agree with YOUWISH and I think she has completely nailed the answer you need!
Pandora's box is open and I am sorry to say, the friendship with him and his wife is OVER!!...you must accept that unless you want to unleash hell on your life.
... (read in full...)
Wondering if I should leave my wife?
Q. My wife of 5 years is emotionally abusive and unstable. I don't love her anymore and my heart has become totally closed off to her. Should I stay, though, for our daugher? It's not horrible, but I'm unhappy and counseling hasn't worked. Thank ...
A. 17 June 2013: You'd leave your child with an abusive and unstable person? or are you hoping to take your daughter with you?... (read in full...)
Am I being too pushy because of my past relationships?
Q. This is a question related to my other question: Why is it, that when I see a girl I like, she replies back to my message, she texts me, that I go over the top and text her with multiple messages? It's only human nature to try and rush things....
A. 17 June 2013: I agree with Spanner!!
The more you like a woman, the slower you should go. That way you get to know much more about her as women tend to divulge more when they think the guy isn't chasing.
Maybe you are judging every woman you meet by bad thin... (read in full...)
This man has left me wondering if i'll ever have a proper relationship
Q. I'm 39, beautiful and never have had a boyfriend. I had a very special relationship for 7 years with a man who was the most amazing man when we would spend time together. When we weren't together, he was being the most amazing man to another. Then ...
A. 16 June 2013: Not exactly the same situation, but yes I have had trauma twice in my life. I was married for many year (over 20) when I found out my husband was leading a double life and following divorce I met another man whom I lived with who, I found out was a ... (read in full...)
Curious about my wife's sexual past
Q. My wife and I have been together 9 years, and had the whole "how many people have you ******" conversation many years ago. Ever since then, I, like many husbands, still wonder "is that her real number, or is she holding some back?" The history she ...
A. 16 June 2013: http://www.thefrisky.com/2011-10-05/why-does-it-matter-how-many-partners-shes-had/
I found this really good article about this subject. It's written by a guy and I think it explains really well why men are curious or worried about their partners... (read in full...)
Is he worth my time?
Q. I have been with someone for over three years. He has more than enough luggage with him that he carries, but all his family are deceased. I am going through a divorce now after knowing this person for three years. He knows all about it and has ...
A. 16 June 2013: Wow you surley jumped out of the frying pan into the fire didn't you?
I think your own post, holds all the clues and all of the answers to be honest, maybe you just needed to write it all down and get it out of your head.
The marriage ending ... (read in full...)
This man has left me wondering if i'll ever have a proper relationship
Q. I'm 39, beautiful and never have had a boyfriend. I had a very special relationship for 7 years with a man who was the most amazing man when we would spend time together. When we weren't together, he was being the most amazing man to another. Then ...
A. 16 June 2013: I am a little confused by your post OP. This man you were involved with wasn't a boyfriend, so I wonder if you were intimate and sexual with him?
He was obviously between two women and when he made his choice, he was cold and cruel towards ... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 16 June 2013: Was the person who told you she would stretch if she had sex with a man with a large penis, a medically trained person?
Because I am medically qualified and I work in obstetrics and gynae medicine so I know what I am talking about.
Whoever... (read in full...)
Would you dump a nice guy that makes too little money?
Q. Im in my early thirties, I have to think about starting a family. I barely make any money and would prefer being a full time mom. I went out on one date with a nice guy that seems interested. He told me his job.... I think he makes very little ...
A. 16 June 2013: Seems a bit calculated after only one date...I always thought it was a bad sign if you go on a date looking for husband material...in my book, it don't work that way.
The guy might get a better job or win the lottery...who knows, but if you ask ... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 15 June 2013: To the anonymous who replied to me...
A large penis will NOT stretch a vagina permanently!!
A vagina is designed to get a baby's head through and then go back...a head is a much wider than a penis and contains skull...a penis is just flesh and mu... (read in full...)
Sex is different with my wife after our brief seperation
Q. After a short seperation my wife and I recently got back together again. we've been marrried 30 years. I've was worried she made have had an affair while we were seperated. after having sex with her for the first time in over a year I thought she ...
A. 15 June 2013: Your wife having an affair would not stretch her vagina. Not a woman of her age at least (if she is in your age range). It could be possible that if you yourself haven't had sex in that length of time that your penis may have lost a few millimeters ... (read in full...)
Do I keep fighting for love or pull back?
Q. My 9 year relationship with my boyfriend just ended 6 weeks ago. The first 5 years were great. The last 4, not so great. I gained a lot of weight and pushed him away. Wouldn't have sex with him. Wouldn't even let him touch me. I was mean to him. I ...
A. 14 June 2013: I guess that's why we have the saying:
'You don't know what you've got until it's gone'
He's having ex-sex with you because you are handing it to him on a plate and he is telling you that it won't make him love you again...You need to believe ... (read in full...)
My husband and I are not on the same page about how to raise my kids. Please advise?
Q. I have been married for 8 years it has been pretty tough. My boys are from a previous marriage. my husband came into this marriage knowing how I was as a mom. I do everything a mom would do for their kids, have I made mistake absolutely!!! My ...
A. 14 June 2013: 'He doesn't have kids of his own'...
That says it all to be honest!
The world is full of bullying 'over the top' step fathers and the kids bear the scars. It's totally disrespectful for him to tell you that you are more of a friend than a pa... (read in full...)
My husband has become very vulgar during sex
Q. I have been married several years and our sex life has definitely taken a turn for the worst!! It's was great and all the time in the beginning but now it's good but very far between. Over the years my husband has made very rude comments during s...
A. 13 June 2013: He sounds as if he is creating a little fantasy during sex, perhaps to spice things up.
Sex can become stale in long relationships and sometimes one or other partner might decide to add a little oil to the flame. You might be someone who shys awa... (read in full...)
Why we he only let me into a part of his life?
Q. Been seeing a guy for two years next week. I am getting really fed up, as he says he loves me but he will only allow me into part of his life. I know he is single, so that is not the answer. He once says he has to get really close to someo...
A. 13 June 2013: You are very welcome and keep us posted xxx I hope things get better for you both xxx... (read in full...)
Anyone good with dream interpretation?
Q. Hi, I usually don't think too much about my dreams, but this one is making me feel, so strange, and I just can't forget about it. I thought, maybe someone can give me some ideas here. I dreamed, that I was visiting a summerhouse what my dad buil...
A. 13 June 2013: I also think this is very revealing of something from your past.
A house does symbolise the inner self and the yellow police tape and things covered up with blankets suggest something that has been hidden or 'kept out' of.
Water in drea... (read in full...)
My husband is jealous of my ex husband and acts foolish
Q. I have two boys from my ex husband he is a good dad provides well for his boys, truck for 16th birthday we didn't pay a penny no insurance, we help when and if he needs some. Child support is paid early...our boys are loved and taken care. We ...
A. 13 June 2013: Plain old fashioned jealousy.
Does he have kids? and if he does, is he doing as good a job at supporting them as your ex?
If this is the case then maybe he feel shown up by your ex and that's his own stupid fault. Some people do that...slag o... (read in full...)
Husband stays out until 4 am..........and wonders why I am upset about it
Q. My husband went out last night with some work colleagues for a work dinner. He said he would be home in a few hours. Well, he came home at 4 am this morning drunker than a skunk, no keys and lost his $700 cell phone and had the nerve to ask me this ...
A. 13 June 2013: I agree, arrange your own nights out with your girlfriends and go an have some fun.
Men are selfish, they put themselves first so he's just being true to form. He's acted like a jackass, got drunk, stayed out and lost his phone...it happens ... (read in full...)
Why we he only let me into a part of his life?
Q. Been seeing a guy for two years next week. I am getting really fed up, as he says he loves me but he will only allow me into part of his life. I know he is single, so that is not the answer. He once says he has to get really close to someo...
A. 13 June 2013: If you are newly diagnosed with Bi-polar, that's quite a hit to the mind and body, so perhaps your sense of reasoning is a little over sensitive at the moment.
From everything you have said, it seems this guy really wants to be with you and mayb... (read in full...)
After 5 months of dating he says he needs time. I don't know what I did wrong?
Q. I've been dating this man for 5 months. Things have gone as they should and we've gotten very close. We spend every weekend together and see each other several times during the week. I have let him lead the relationship. It has always been him ...
A. 13 June 2013: Him offering friendship but saying he doesn't want to be in a relationship (after intimacy) is a bit like having the cone but not the ice cream...it's shabby and not acceptable and men should get it into their thick heads that when they dump a ... (read in full...)
Why we he only let me into a part of his life?
Q. Been seeing a guy for two years next week. I am getting really fed up, as he says he loves me but he will only allow me into part of his life. I know he is single, so that is not the answer. He once says he has to get really close to someo...
A. 12 June 2013: Can you explain what part of his life you feel excluded from?
Does he consider you his girlfriend/partner?
You have obviously had your ups and downs with him and most relationships have those at some point and he has rekindled with you afterwa... (read in full...)
After 5 months of dating he says he needs time. I don't know what I did wrong?
Q. I've been dating this man for 5 months. Things have gone as they should and we've gotten very close. We spend every weekend together and see each other several times during the week. I have let him lead the relationship. It has always been him ...
A. 12 June 2013: The most damning piece of evidence is that he has said he needs time away from you...sadly that means you are not top of his list and he has other things on his mind.
Saying he cares about you and wants to play it by ear is non conducive with ask... (read in full...)
If I give her what she wants, how do I know I will get what I want later?
Q. My girlfriend and I have had an amazing relationship. We clicked right from the start and I have to say that I have never had feelings for anyone else than I have for her. We had a small issue earlier this year where she thought she didn't have ...
A. 12 June 2013: I agree with the first post..
Back off from her and do your own thing for a while! She is all about the drama and having control! Speed up, slow down...I want you I dont want you...it's way too confusing!
I think you are scared of losing her, a... (read in full...)
He said "I'll always love you" but then broke up with me. What does he mean?
Q. my bf broke up with me and he said "ill always love you" what does he really mean when he says that? does he even mean it or is he saying it to make himself not look like such a jerk? his reason for the breakup was that he didnt want to be in a ...
A. 12 June 2013: He probably does love you, but he just doesn't want to be in a relationship with you...if he did, then he'd stay.
Maybe he feels tied down and wants to see if he can meet someone else or maybe he just wants time to pursue other things in his life... (read in full...)
Exclusive or not....what is acceptable?
Q. I want to know if I am being unrealistic or not. How long should you wait before being exclusive with someone? I am 47 years old and I met a man on POF who is soon to be 49 back in March. We are both quite attractive and we have been dating for 3 ...
A. 12 June 2013: I dont usually confide my personal situation but I am currently dating a man I met on Match 2 and a half months ago. I am 48 and he is 41. He lives near to me and we have had several nice dates and speak on the phone every evening...but I still have ... (read in full...)
How to get my ex-boyfriend back...or do I even want to?
Q. I am having a huge issue and could use words of wisdom from you all. Long story short...I was dating a guy for 8 months. We broke up in February. Our whole relationship was very toxic but I fell in love with him. There were things that happened ...
A. 10 June 2013: You don't think you can do better than this guy???...really???
Honey you have extrememly low self esteem and your standards are non existent!!
You really want your son to grow up seeing you get treated so badly by this man? Using you? abusi... (read in full...)
Fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!!! I feel really used!!
Q. Hi everyone. OMG!!!! I just fooled around with a MARRIED MAN last night!!! I am such a mess. I really need some help from all of you!!!!! We work together and he suggested we meet outside the workplace for coffee. We talked for a couple o...
A. 10 June 2013: To be honest, you walked right into it...and he got you!!
He sounds like a professional womanizer and I wouldn't believe him when he says he never had an affair or a fling before...it's a load of bull!!
Yeah you were a little dumb to fall for... (read in full...)
Exclusive or not....what is acceptable?
Q. I want to know if I am being unrealistic or not. How long should you wait before being exclusive with someone? I am 47 years old and I met a man on POF who is soon to be 49 back in March. We are both quite attractive and we have been dating for 3 ...
A. 10 June 2013: I really feel for you and can understand why you feel so decieved! The guy is telling you he doesn't want to be in a relationship but has put that he does, on his new profile...In my book, that makes him a liar!! Either he is lying about wanting to ... (read in full...)
I want my boyfriend back and have no idea how to cope without him
Q. I am deeply in love with my ex boyfriend who has dumped me because he couldn't decide whether he wanted a single life or a relationship so it caused a lot of fights. I havn't seen him for 2 months and he phones me about once a week which is ni...
A. 6 June 2013: Change your number!
He should not be calling you, it's cruel and unsettling.
He may think he is doing you a favour but all he is doing is making you feel not good enough for him. He doesn't want to be with you...is it worth accepting the scraps o... (read in full...)
He keeps saying we should meet but never follows through with it
Q. i,ve been talking to a guy on a dating web site for 8 weeks he seems really nice but he keeps saying we should meet but every time i suggest a day or time he can never make it i sent him my mobile but hes never used it what should i do?...
A. 6 June 2013: Sadly it's probably because he is already in a relationship of some kind. A lot of people use dating sites just to pass time and chat to people. It's a covert way of gaining some attention, having a fanciful connection but never having to take ... (read in full...)
Ex-boyfriend wants me to be friends with his new gf
Q. I went out with this man for 5 months and it did not feel right, I did not love him and we are not compatible. Due to his new religion; he tries to tell me what to do and not. I am an open-minded person and respect everyone but I do not like to...
A. 2 June 2013: This all sounds really weird to be honest!!
If you do not want to have anything more to do with this very controlling man and his weird girlfriend then block them and move on with your life!!
It all sounds like some bizarre game and you cou... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy back to his warm usual self?
Q. Hi, need help understanding the male psychology a bit please. There is a guy I met at the pub (35), he was going through divorce and my case is the same. We connected, in his words he was very intrigued by my story and he found me very attractive. ...
A. 2 June 2013: 'I really like him and don't want anything from him except just to be in touch and be there for him but not sure how best to get back to that warm affectionate place'
Read this again!...it's a massive contradiction!
You don't want anything fr... (read in full...)
My muslim boyfriend's family have picked out a girl for him, they don't know about me. Will he man up?
Q. I am a female British white person i been with my Muslim boyfriend for 3 years. i very friendly with his auntie and uncle who he lives with. He loves me and i love him however things have come ahead and apparently they don't know that we are seeing ...
A. 2 June 2013: He won't refuse the marriage...he can't! It is his religion, his culture and his family honour...it's that simple!
He has told you that you can only be his girlfriend, so you need to accept that...because those are his words and that is what he ... (read in full...)
I treated her badly she has a restraining order on me but I can't forget her!
Q. Hi I feel like I'm going crazy. I need some serious help. I'm in love with my childhood best friend. I've been in love with her since elementary school. Words can't describe how amazing she is. She is sweet, kind, compassionate, selfless, drop dead ...
A. 31 May 2013: If you have been physically abusive to her then you are a danger to her and the restraining order is not only justified, but necessary.
You have major issues and you need unravelling by a mental health professional. Obsessive jealousy is a very d... (read in full...)
I'm confused about my relationship and haven't told my parents about him yet
Q. So, I am dating a guy for the last 5 months who I think is great. He is funny, insightful, loving, and we have a wonderful time together. But there are two issues that really bother me greatly:1) He has kids (a boy that is 9 and a daughter that ...
A. 31 May 2013: I think it's a case of him being a 'partial match' but not quite right. Your gut is obviously making you hold back because there are things about him that don't quite suit you.
Him having two children is a major factor...children are part of the d... (read in full...)
I'm 8 months pregnant b/f cheated, he lied until the girl sent the video of them having sex!
Q. I am 8 months pregnant and just found out my boy friend cheated, he said it was a mistake and he's so sorry but I don't know what to do, I want to be with him but I dont at the same time! The worst part is she filmed it and sent it to me, he ...
A. 31 May 2013: If he has cheated then he's no good. It would be reasonable to accept that he made a mistake except for the fact he lied to cover it all up and he must have given the other woman your contact details or how else could she contact you to 'share' what ... (read in full...)
The thought of this man really excites me but I don't want to lose my husband
Q. I am riddled with guilt, anxiety, and excitement. I am married 15 years to a man I have known 20 years. Recently I met a man at a place I usually shop. We struck up a conversation, and met almost every day there. Finally he asked me if I am ...
A. 29 May 2013: If you don't want to lose your husband then stop messing around with another man...it really is that simple. There is no alternative, no magic wand to make it all go away...you are an adult, you know what you are doing and only you can make it stop.... (read in full...)
Is marriage a deal breaker?
Q. I've been with my partner for 3 1/2 yrs now and we still don't live together because of both our situations. He going through a divorce and almost at the end and me because 'im not working. I love him very much and he loves me too, i would really l...
A. 28 May 2013: Most people who come out of a divorce are not keen to jump right into another marriage, some would rather just have the relationship without the bit of paper and there is nothing wrong with that.
I think he is committed to you to a certain ... (read in full...)
Why do I miss my abusive ex boyfriend?
Q. I have been dealing with a personal and confusing issue with my now ex-boyfriend, and have no idea what to do. We started dating a year ago. It was a very high and low relationship. Many fights. He did not want me to be friends with any male ...
A. 28 May 2013: When someone is with an abuser (physical or verbal) life becomes a cycle of gaining approval from the abuser. If you do something right and he/she gives you some positive attention...it sets up a pattern that you crave the positive attention.
... (read in full...)
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