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*isdom agony aunt

*isdom

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*isdom's profile:

I belive in making mistakes that is what teaches us to grow... I have made alot of them. Sharing from our experiences may help or teach each other something new. Those that don't make mistakes are not living.

I live in Australia, The best country in the world... Filled with brilliant beaches, cities and most importanly my fellow Australians! Very proud to come from the land down under.

12345Next > [5 pages, 148 answers]

Should I leave this bad marriage?

Q.   My wife and I got married about 7 years ago. Our relationship was rocky from the start -- she was my first girlfriend and I lacked confidence as a single person. She broke up with me several times because she wasn't satisfied with me, but I c...

A.   7 June 2012: You poor man! Your wife sounds like a dragon lady. You have been in an emotionally abusive relationsip with this lady for a long time. YOu are not ugly nor unattractive. From your post you seem to be a genuine sweet man who is trying to give her ... (read in full...)

My ex told me I could either tell the guy myself or he would send the picture.

Q.   So I made a horrible decision to have intercourse with my ex...for the last time like 3 days ago..after I met a new guy. My ex was stupid and took pictures of me. He then later found out that I was talking to this new guy. So now he said he's going ...

A.   1 June 2012: Sweetpea, irrelivant of age what he is doing is illigal. Go to the police and have this sorted out. Try to make better choices in the future Good luck... (read in full...)

Was it such a big deal that I lied to my b/f's mom about a job interview?

Q.   Hello. I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years now. Just recently I was supposed to go to an interview for a retail department store, but I cancelled it because I was too lazy.. : Anyways my boyfriend's mom asked me how it went and...

A.   31 May 2012: yes its a big deal, Bigger deal is why are you so happy being lazy? Do you currently work? Jobs all over the globe are scarce at the moment and to be too lazy to go for an interview tells me that you maynot be the type of person that she would want... (read in full...)

We didn't have sex but were messing around and now I feel disgusted

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have been daiting for about 6 months we havent had sex yet but we started having oral sex he would only do it to me but today things went a lil farther i gave hima hand job and he put me in different positions but i felt alot ...

A.   24 May 2012: No I don't think so, and if he did than he is not the right boy for you :) Relax and take your time, sex is a HUGE deal. There is no rush to do it. When you are ready and take that step, if it is the right man you will have an experience that you... (read in full...)

Concerned about girlfriends jealousy and what she considers porn?

Q.   hi all, im concerned about my girls insecurity, recently iv noticed she gets snippy when i talk to my female friends, and she gets in a bit of a strop about it sometimes, she dosent seem to think she is pushing my female friends away by making t...

A.   24 May 2012: OMG she sounds liek a nutter!... Insecure and jealous person who scares away your friends! What on earth are you doing? Porn is a normal thing for a man to look at. Men are visual creatures and its not like your sleeping with them! Geez! My man watc... (read in full...)

Boyfriend moved in, doesn't have a job, doesn't watch the kids, is he crossing the line?

Q.   Idk what to do. My bf of three years is driving me crazy. We have two children together and im living in a low income apartment, he kinda came over and never left because he didnt have anywhere else to go. I dont have a job because i cant find ...

A.   24 May 2012: Get rid of him! Get a job even if it is lower paying, ask yur grandmoher to help with the kids ( Maybe she could mind them until you work somehting else out) Either way he sounds awful... 2 cars, pays for your school she should get an aw... (read in full...)

I think my ex hacked into my facebook account

Q.   what would you do? hello im 30 and my ex girlfriend is 26 we've got 2 kids. we live together. and for years we've not been close since the birth of our first child. and this year after years of unhappy r/ship we split up. we desided for the ...

A.   24 May 2012: Change your password on FB and explain t the ladies what happened.... (read in full...)

We didn't have sex but were messing around and now I feel disgusted

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have been daiting for about 6 months we havent had sex yet but we started having oral sex he would only do it to me but today things went a lil farther i gave hima hand job and he put me in different positions but i felt alot ...

A.   24 May 2012: Oh sweetpea, that is your body and your mind telling you theat you are not ready for this, Remember reading all the comments on posts like this one where all the aunts would say things like "your too young" "your not ready" etc? Well the emotions ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend died of an overdose and I don't think I'll ever be able to move on

Q.   a month and a half ago my boyfriend died.. we got into a fight the night he died..after we got off the phone i put a block on thinking he would hav someone call me the next day to take it off so we can talk.. his sister called and said he was dead ...

A.   21 May 2012: Hi OP You won't move on for a long time, you are connected to the painful memory of this. Death is one if not the hardest thing to deal with. Having said this, you must ensure that you seek counselling for both you and your children, Dont think ab... (read in full...)

Is it me? Is it all his stress? Why couldn't he get hard and why haven't I heard from him since then?

Q.   I've been having this affair with a married man for 8years..he also has another girl on the side that he has gotten pregnant twice..I believe his wife is leaving him and he is under some stree..we have sex at least once a week..lately it's been like ...

A.   21 May 2012: Because its never all about looks, Most people in relationships will tell you that whilst looks are somewhat important they are actually very little of the relationship. He is not with you because although you maybe the better looking one you are ... (read in full...)

He had my first name and last name as a status on Facebook, did this mean anything?

Q.   Ive been thinking about this for a long time now and maybe I'm over analyzing this but just wanted to get someones point of view. So a few months ago I was at school and I was with a group of people talking and laughing and I made some new friends. ...

A.   18 May 2012: Done that many timems, searching for someone and then accidently put them as my status... very funny. Dont worry about it :)... (read in full...)

My partner as just started army training.. Does this get any easier?

Q.   Iv been with my partner for 2 months now and before we got together we spoke loads and he told me he had applied for the army. I told him I would stick by him with whatever decision he makes. He went to army training and has been there a week and ...

A.   18 May 2012: As an army wife I can tell you now. NOPE not easy and very hard on the kids. You will need to toughen up if your going to make this work ( I dont want to be harsh) but the simple truth needs to be said and you need to hear it my sweet. The life... (read in full...)

My partner as just started army training.. Does this get any easier?

Q.   Iv been with my partner for 2 months now and before we got together we spoke loads and he told me he had applied for the army. I told him I would stick by him with whatever decision he makes. He went to army training and has been there a week and ...

A.   18 May 2012: As an army wife I can tell you now. NOPE not easy and very hard on the kids. You will need to toughen up if your going to make this work ( I dont want to be harsh) but the simple truth needs to be said and you need to hear it my sweet. The life... (read in full...)

Is it me? Is it all his stress? Why couldn't he get hard and why haven't I heard from him since then?

Q.   I've been having this affair with a married man for 8years..he also has another girl on the side that he has gotten pregnant twice..I believe his wife is leaving him and he is under some stree..we have sex at least once a week..lately it's been like ...

A.   18 May 2012: lets see, He destroyed another girls life, his wife is going to go (that is the one he really loves) and he is probably under pressure at work... He woke up, thought I want a BJ, wifey won't do it as she is a bit pissed off right now, other gi... (read in full...)

I don't understand how anyone could hang out with him let alone sleep with him.

Q.   I'm still in love with my ex, I broke up with her twice, and I still want to be with her. I want to marry her and do everything with her and for her, we still talk and hang out and decide we both have feelings for one another. We also decided to be ...

A.   16 May 2012: simple, you need to get over it. Stop thinking about it, its happened there is nothing that you can do to change it. Focus on the future with this girl that you clearly love and work towards the future. She made a one time mistake and yet you have ... (read in full...)

I managed to convince a guy I fancy that I'm easy but now I need the skills to back it up

Q.   I moved about 9 months ago and there's this guy "Sam" back home. My friend and I tricked him into thinking I'm a slut and he likes me better now. I told him when I get home I'd make out with him and give him a hand job. The thing is, I HAVE NO IDEA ...

A.   14 May 2012: Why why why would you do this? Convincing a guy you are a slut just so he will like you is a terrible idea. You tricked him? Honey no, he will use you for this and then dump you. Save this type of thing for someone who really deserves it and ... (read in full...)

My friend says he dreamed he kissed me. What does that mean?

Q.   I have been loving a guy for a few years now ( at least 2), he's one of my closest friends and he identifies as straight.. He flirts and stuff but he never says that he is even curious about guys. Well we was talking the other night on the phone, I ...

A.   14 May 2012: could just mean that he had a dream that he kissed you... Try not to read too much into it and justput it out of your mind unless he brings something else up.... (read in full...)

I'm good enough at casual dating but need help when it comes to relationships

Q.   It so happens that I’m absolutely awful at getting into relationships. This question is not one of the generic “I’m 19 and never had a girlfriend” lamentations. Although I was a late bloomer and upon starting university this year had relatively ...

A.   14 May 2012: good question OP. That is one that we all try to answer, see the problem is when do you ask a girl if you are exclusive? Its not so much about all the dating relationships are when you decide that you will only date one and other... Having ... (read in full...)

Does it sound like I've done anything out of line to upset this girl, and is there anything I can do to ease the situation?

Q.   Hello, There's this girl at my school who's been causing me some problems lately. I met her a couple of months ago through a friend who's in an fwb type situation with her best friend. Though we only met that one time and spoke for less than 5 ...

A.   14 May 2012: Girls at that age can be very childish.... Sounds to me that you are a very bight well educated young gentleman. You have not done anything wrong nor do you deserve this type of treatement. its easy to say ignore them but really its a ver... (read in full...)

Should I give it another go with him or just end things?

Q.   Ive been seeing someone for over 3 months now. At the beggining everything was great and couldn't be happier. Recently his ex girlfriend who he has a baby with has been getting involved. Threatening me and saying she will always get him back because ...

A.   14 May 2012: Find the hills and RUN! Its only been 3 months, you are young and seem smart.. Find someone else who has less drama going on! Run away fast... do not stop to say goodbye just run!... (read in full...)

I didn't stop another guy from kissing me and now I feel sick about it

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for four and a half years and we have a 2 year old child together. Last week I was at a friends house and there were a lot of people and a lot of alcohol involved ( I'm not using this as an excuse ). Anyways as the ...

A.   14 May 2012: darling girl, Yes you need to move on. Your boyfriend sounds terrible, he beats you and is verbally abusive to you and you have a child together? Staying will only damage yourself further and your child. You need to do what is right for not only... (read in full...)

A man wearing pink skinny jeans?

Q.   First reaction/ thought that comes to mind when you see a male wearing red/pink skinny jeans???...

A.   14 May 2012: Australia..... Gay... (read in full...)

I still yearn for this guy and I'm married!

Q.   I am in desperate need of an honest opinion about a situation that has been ongoing for 9 years that I can’t tell anyone about! WARNING – This is possibly the longest post ever! Here's the story, for anyone who may care enough to read through ...

A.   3 May 2012: Don't tell him, forget about it and move on. What do you hope to gain from telling him? Closure you say? Nooo this is just going to open pandora's box. What would you do if he said he had feelings for you? Cheat on your husband? There is unfortun... (read in full...)

How do I flirt a little with this uber attractive customer?

Q.   I work at a Chickfila and occasionally there are attractive men that come through the drive thru. I have worked the drive thru every morning for 3 months and I had never seen this guy before. Now he has been coming through and he's just uber ...

A.   24 April 2012: Smile. Then say hello... maintain eye contact (not scary lady big bulging eye contact) but coy and with a sweet smile see how you go... (read in full...)

How do I know he loves me when he doesn't call?

Q.   How do i know he loves me when he don't even bother to call me. He says he love,but i do the calling always and each time i call he always tell me he has no money to buy credit. Please readers advice me. Did he really love me and how do i know he ...

A.   24 April 2012: Im going to agree with thisiscrazy. Don't call him and see how long it takes him to contact you.... (read in full...)

I need help to save my marriage!

Q.   Hi, I need help to save my marriage. I've been happily married for just under 4 years and with my partner for a total of 6 years and I have been terrible to her and caused her some god awful pain, pain she does not need as she is heavily pregnant...

A.   24 April 2012: Well when you mess up you don't do it in halves do you? I am going to be honest I don't think there is much you can do. I can only imagine what your wife is going though. You need to ask yourself why you sent the emails in the first place. ... (read in full...)

B/f proposed to me but I'm unsure since he seems addicted to porn

Q.   My bf of 2.5yrs has asked me to marry him. I know most women would be absolutely giddy with happiness, yet I told him that I needed to think about it. Earlier in the year I walked in on him jacking off to porn. When we first started dating he told ...

A.   24 April 2012: There are so many women that get wrapped up in this porn issue. Not all porn is "degrading" to women and disgusting... if it was then why would it be a multi multi billion dollar industry in EVERY country? Now some porn is terrible and some is ok ... (read in full...)

How much are we responsible about the bad things in our life?

Q.   What do you think, how much are we responsible about the bad things in our life? I feel ,I tried my best regarding to raising kids,and marriage, and my health. But in almost every of those areas, I had tragic outcome. Including death of a child from ...

A.   24 April 2012: Iknow the feeling, a few years ago my entire life fell apart due to circumstances that were out of my control. I came to learn a few things .We are all given challenges that we must face, It seems to me that you are incredible a very strong woman to ... (read in full...)

I have a girlfriend but was touching up on my best friend. I'm too afraid to tell my girlfriend!

Q.   So I have been dating my gf for like a year and a half now... About 4months into the relationship I did somthing with my best friend. I hung out at her house and we got a little bit close. We didn't kiss or anything but I was touching up on her and ...

A.   24 April 2012: Do you want to stay with the GF or the BF? Ask yourself this, If you are staying with the GF are you going to touch up your BF again? It sounds like it happend a long long time ago and nothing has happended since? If that is the case then yo... (read in full...)

Do I have a chance with my English teacher?

Q.   Hi! I'm 14 years old, I'm a lesbian, and I deeply and honestly feel like I am in love with my English teacher. Now I know, I know you will say it's a "crush" or I'm just "infatuated" with her but I really feel this is love. At my school, we have ...

A.   24 April 2012: She is being a good teacher. Thats it. You have a crush at the moment and it feels like the end of the world shattering love... WE HAVE ALL BEEN THERE. Simple fact is, that she is your teacher, possibly straight and not inlove with you. Its... (read in full...)

How do I find out if he's just stringing me along?

Q.   Boyfriend of a yr and a half only talks about us getting together when we're retired - that 17 yrs from now! We both own separate homes now yet we spend 3-5 nights together every week. I want to be under one roof but he says nothing about our near ...

A.   24 April 2012: It seems that after 1.5 years you are telling your BF that you only move in with him if he marries you. Perhaps he is not ready for that move right now? It may take him a bit more time to think about those things. 1.5 years is really not a very long ... (read in full...)

Would you date someone who has done porn?

Q.   I am going to do a photo shoot in a few weeks...a photo shoot for a pornographic magazine and website. My closest friends, the only ones who know about it, have said that it may affect future relationships that I have. But is that really true? ...

A.   24 April 2012: Myself personally no. My male friends no. In the ever changing world of internet and technology, remember that anything that goes on the internet you can never get it off. Future relationships, Jobs and such are in jeapody. I respect your choice t... (read in full...)

I have jealousy issues!

Q.   Hey aunts and uncles I hope you are all well! So I am back again looking for some more help if possible? My question is about jealousy. I know I have really bad issues my boyfriend just has to look at a female and its like a flame in my heart and I ...

A.   24 April 2012: In some cases it is natrual to be a little Jealous, they day we stop being jealous totally of our partners looking at others is the day we have something to worry about. Having said this, there is healthy Jealousy and non healthy jealousy... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for the guy I'm hooking up with

Q.   Okay so this is kind of a long explanation so bare with me guys. Alright so about a month and a half ago I got out of a two year long relationship, basically the guy was really controlling and I was just getting fed up with it. Anyways, about tw...

A.   19 April 2012: What a pickle you are in young lady... You are in a really emotional time, you just broke up with someone and you are feeling alone and maybe hurt and a little disapointed. This boy has been able to convince you to allow him to disrespe... (read in full...)

My wife says that I need to chose either her or my family!

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 6 years. She has 3 children from a previous marriage. I love them dearly. My wife thinks that my family hasnt shown them love. I will say my mom has told the kids that she would do things with them and it has ...

A.   19 April 2012: Stop and breath people! Ok, on these types of websites you should take all responses with a gran of Salt. No one knows hte full story other than you. I think you both need to talk and maybe get a family counsellor involved.Before anymore hurt is ... (read in full...)

Is my friend's older brother flirting with me or just being friendly?

Q.   I met my friends brother for the first time the other day; he's 6 or 7 years older than I am and just getting out of a 5 year relationship. I knew all about his crazy gf, the party lifestyle he lives, etc etc because my friend (his sister) talks ab...

A.   19 April 2012: Normally I find that older brothers don't go for little sisters friends. Are you sure that you don't have feelings for him and are hoping that he feels the same way?... (read in full...)

How do I get my boyfriend to love me again?

Q.   My boyfriend and i are together 3 years he is 44 and i am 42. Basically he became good friends with a woman for about a 2 years ago. he helped her settle into our country they were friends and now he is telling me he is in love with her and he c...

A.   19 April 2012: I agree with the posts below but I want to go one step further, I doubt that she will want to be with him full time as you said there is a massie age gap. I would be more careful about him crawling back to you once she tells him no or gets bored of ... (read in full...)

What do guys think of virgins?

Q.   Guys-if you're not a virgin and ur dating a girl tht is a virgin what do u think about if ur going 2 have sex w her? Fyi im a girl thats dating a guy thats done it before he says he doesnt want to force me into anything because he doesnt want me ...

A.   19 April 2012: I think if you are worried about what he thinks about your inexperience you are too young for this. Virgin or not, its irrelevant you only have sex when you are ready, and if it is with the right person then neiter of you will care about the othe... (read in full...)

I am having a really hard time adjustting to Americans.

Q.   Ok so I know this is going to upset a few people and I am sorry but I really need some advice. So 4 months ago I was transferred from my office in Melbourne Australia to New York. I didn't really have a choice my work moved my role here so if ...

A.   18 April 2012: ahhh fellow Aussie, its a bit hard to start with, when I lived there I found it to be a huge culture shock. Having said that I stuck it out and made some of the best friends. You will find at home we take the piss out of each other and speak befo... (read in full...)

Husband of three months is pressuring me to live somewhere I don't care to be

Q.   i have been with my husband for 10 months and married for 3. just recently we have both lost our jobs and we are in a right mess. before i met him i was very independent, had a good job, good car and savings. now i have nothing and he has dragged me ...

A.   18 April 2012: Tell him to go!... he won't , he is testing you and trying to bully you. Don't stand for it. You will see he will move back with you Good luck... (read in full...)

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