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... Send sammi star a private message | | | sammi star's profile:I'm 24 and I think I can help all kinds of people with a whole range of problems. I had my fair share of trouble as a teenager then fell pregnant at 16. I'm now a single mum, I've had bad relationships and learnt a fair bit about men along the way! If you want to message me I'll always reply (and you can bet I've probably been there myself) and it'll be more than a 2 line answer too! |
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| Latest articles: Why are women labelled as "shallow" if they voice their opinions on their partners appearance yet men can judge women entirely on their looks?
No replies yet... 24 November 2009: So my bf knew I didn't like facial hair on guys and found it unattractive. He grew a beard. I had to admit though that with his messy mop of dark hair it actually really suited him and he looks great. My bf knows I hate long hair on guys. So he an...
Becoming more than FWB
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
15 September 2009: I see a lot of questions on here about people who are stuck in the FWB situation and often they want to know if there's a chance of becoming more. Most of the answers tell them that no, there isn't so I wanted to share my story. When I was in my la...
The reality of being a teen mum
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
20 August 2009: I see a lot of young girls on here who want to become mothers so I thought I'd share a few thoughts on the reality of becoming a teenage mum. I was 16 when I fell pregnant, my boyfriend 18. I'd just finished my GCSE's and planned to go back to schoo...
Being yourself :)
This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
6 July 2009: I only wrote an article a little while ago but I like sharing little bits of life so here we go with another one! And by the way, I'm talking about men but obviously the same applies with women :) I often ask my male friends for advice. Every so...
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Once I've passed my driving test should I tell my instructor I have a crush on him?
Q. i'm 42 and since january I've been taking driving lessons. my instructor is a lovely man. a brilliant instructor and a wonderful person, kind, gentle, considerate etc etc. we get on very well together and my lessons feel more like time spent with ...
A. 28 September 2009: I agree that this is like a school girl crush. It's not uncommon to have a crush on your driving instructor and chances are if you got to know him outside of his profession you may not feel the same way at all. That said, you're 42 so if you want to ... (read in full...)
All of a sudden my b/f is easily upset -- why is he acting like this?
Q. My boyfriend and I have a really good relationship. We're a perfect match, or says his friends and mine. Lately he hasn't been being himself. He seems mad and upset. And, he seems to get mad at me really easily (Example; For bringing up a ...
A. 28 September 2009: There are many possible reasons as to why your bf is acting out of character. It definitly sounds as though he's stressed about something, maybe work or college? You say you have a really good relationship so the only way to know for sure whats ... (read in full...)
My mom is taking me to get a pregnancy test, I'm scared, don't want to raise a baby, please help?
Q. I'm 14 and could be pregnant, i had sex with my ex 3 month ago and have missed every period, my mum has only found this out today, so she is taking me for a preggy test but the thing is im to scared incase i amm. im not sure how to bring a baby up ...
A. 7 September 2009: Nobody can tell you that you're too young for a baby, nobody can tell you weather or not you're able to raise a child. It's your decision. I had my daughter at 16 and it's really hard work. I don't regret having her as I love her more than anything ... (read in full...)
I'm really scared about getting my period...help!!
Q. i am really scared about my period i am 13 and still have not srated what should i do...
A. 1 September 2009: Did you mean that you're worried because you haven't started yet? If you did, that's nothing to worry about hun. It varies hugely, some girls start very early, like 12 and for some girls it's as late as 18. It's nothing to worry about, everyones ... (read in full...)
Goodbye to all at Dear Cupid
Q. Well, this is not a question. I have just decided to opt out as an agony aunt, "uncle". I seem not to have had much success lately. I think it is just an age thing. I am probably to old to give advice to the questioners who seem to be of a much ...
A. 20 August 2009: I agree, ratings don't matter at all. And nobody is too old to give advice, everyone has their own life experiences to draw on and being a little older must mean you've been through a fair few things which can only be a good thing right?! ... (read in full...)
My take on why guys notice looks more than personality!
Q. The other night i was talking to my friend who's a girl and we got into the ever-so-popular "all guys are perverts" argument. She asked me why most guys usualy focus more on the looks or a girl than their personality. I had never really thought ...
A. 20 August 2009: Yeah I think you're kinda right in what you're saying, and K c100 is spot on, of course we don't go around thinking that way but it's built into all of us.
I think you notice peoples looks first because if you don't know someone it's all you have... (read in full...)
Is underage sex something you agree with?! I want opinions please!
Q. Ive decided to put myself out here after been severely infuriated by some 'adults' on this site who deem it appropriate for CHILDREN to be having sex from as young as 13! do you think its appropriate for a child of this age to be having sex?? they ...
A. 16 August 2009: I get what you're saying but I don't think there are many people on here that agree with kids of that age having sex. The thing is, when you get a question about sex posted by someone that young, they're going to do what they like no matter how many... (read in full...)
Squeezing during sex?
Q. I normally squeeze my vagina during sex,is it safe for me and does my patner feel it....
A. 14 August 2009: Yeah it's safe for you to do this, In my experience most guys love it! :) ... (read in full...)
FWB how can I tell if he wants more?
Q. I have a friend w/benefits, and we've been getting together about once a week for the past 4 months. A couple of weeks ago we were like attached at the hips for about 6 days and we did it at least once a day and he stayed the night with me a couple ...
A. 14 August 2009: I don't agree that he'd tell you straight out if there was something more. There could be many reasons why he hasn't told you if he's feeling more than friendship, maybe he's afraid of commitment, maybe he's feeling like you and not wanting to risk ... (read in full...)
Tips on giving a guy oral
Q. Ok we I have gave my bf oral a couple times but I think he doesnt enjoy it he says he does but I just feel like he's just saying that. So I wanted to know what will make my guy love the oral and ask me for more any tips? Things guy love and enjoy?...
A. 11 August 2009: Okay well apparantly guys have this saying, the wetter the better..sounds rather disgusting but certainly seems to work on my guy! Use your hands too, if you create a ring around your mouth using your thumb and first finger it gives the impression ... (read in full...)
What can I do to make our sex life more exciting?
Q. okay soo...me and my boyfriend Awhile back had sex and he started talk dirty to me while doing it and i loved it!!!!!!!!! i meant really loved it it made it so much better for me i cant stop thinking about it...i want him to do it agian but im ...
A. 11 August 2009: Okay firstly you can have great sex without getting high!
Your bf will probably love it if you watch porn together, give it a try. And he's not gonna think you're wierd for wanting him to talk dirty again, loads of girls love that and if he thou... (read in full...)
We've started to fool around in the bedroom, but I have no idea what I'm doing!
Q. Okay, so me and my boyfriend have been going out for about 2 months now, we're both 16; so of course we're a little 'sexual'. I dont mind when he does stuff to me, but when it comes time for me to do stuff to him, im cluess. I dont know how to give ...
A. 11 August 2009: Ask him what he likes, let him help you and show you the way. He's gonna love it anyway, just because you're touching him but it's understandable you're nervous. Just make sure you relax...I know that's easier said than done but it'll make the whole ... (read in full...)
Would this be a terribly selfish reason to end a relationship?
Q. So, I've been dating this fellow for a while now and things have been going pretty well but our sex drives seem to be drastically different. I feel like whenever I'm "in the mood" he is too tired or just uninterested. Which as a result has taken a ...
A. 25 July 2009: It's always difficult when you and a partner have very different sex drives. You're not pathetic for taking it personally but you should bear in mind that it really is nothing to do with you, it just so happens that he's not in the mood.
I don'... (read in full...)
Females: How do you react when a guy is hugging you and he gets an erection?
Q. Females: How do you react when a guy is hugging you and he gets an erection? Do you act flattered? Are you usually disgusted? I hug this girl from time to time and I always get an erection whilst hugging her. I used to find it embarassing unti...
A. 22 July 2009: This is really common at your age anyway and I think most girls will just take it in their stride, my friends and I certainly used to, maybe have a little joke with the boys like the first girl you mentioned! Don't worry bout it hun :) x... (read in full...)
If you'd had a baby through a brief affair would you tell anyone?
Q. If you'd had a baby through a brief affair would you tell anyone? either confide in a friend or tell the biological father? would you be guilty and tell all eventually or keep this a secret forever? ...
A. 15 July 2009: Keeping a secret like this to yourself will only be damaging to everyone invoved.
There will come a day when the child will want to know his/her father and then what would you do?
Brief fling or not this man has a right to know if he's fathered... (read in full...)
I've fallen for him over the internet...
Q. Actually, I met an English boy 2 months ago on the Internet, and I think all the time about him, I've become addicted to him, to talk to him. I think i'm falling in love. He makes my day... But, i think he doesn't really care about me...'Cause, ...
A. 13 July 2009: It's easy to become attached to someone you never talk to face to face because you feel you can say things with a kind of honesty that you wouldn't usually.
You may think you love him hun but think about it, how well do you know him? He can't show... (read in full...)
What protection should I use to avoid getting pregant?
Q. to avoid pregnancy...should condoms and pills both be used.....or only condom can avoid pregnancy...
A. 13 July 2009: Neither are 100% effective so it's always safest to use both. Never stop using condoms though just because you're on the pill, pregnancy isn't your only worry you need to think about STI's too... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend just feeding his 2 year old's disobedience?
Q. my bf 2yo is very disobedient. whenever she is naughty she mostly gets away with it. Some times bf will sit her down and say no stop being naughty, and she will cry to get her way out of it this is when bf will cuddle her and say its alright. Is ...
A. 13 July 2009: As a parent myself, I know how hard it is when you tell your little one off and they start crying-of course your natural reaction is to comfort them with a cuddle! But your bf is doing his daughter no favours by not disciplining her. She needs to... (read in full...)
What should I do not to appear to be so available?
Q. Guy are always to assured of me from the start? Now I want to start playing hard to get with this new guy I met? So I don't always want to be available? Any good ideas or success stories would be SO appreciated......
A. 13 July 2009: Well when you play hard to get with a guy there's always a chance it'll backfire!
But, you definitly don't want to seem that you're always available so just make sure that you're out there having fun with your friends, not waiting by the phone.
Ca... (read in full...)
My bf is annoyed I wont talk to my father about birth control, who's right?
Q. I hope someone can help me out. I'm so confused. Sorry its so long, but you have to understand the whole story to answer the questions. I'm almost sixteen years old, and me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year. I never really fo...
A. 12 July 2009: If you don't feel comfortable talking to your dad about this then don't. It's your choice and your boyfriend should respect that.
You've been very responsible, there are many people that take little or no time in worrying about birth control so you ... (read in full...)
Am I too nervous? Or just not ready for a relationship?
Q. Ok i am like 20 y/o and i wanna know is it normal to be able to talk to a female, on msn/yahoo/aim/games/phone easier than talking upfront to em? i get all nervous while even being near a female, sometimes i have tears coming down my face but i do ...
A. 11 July 2009: I couldn't believe it reading your question! It could've been written by a very close male friend of mine and we were just talking about this the other day.
He has exactly the same problem, he's just fine when he's texting or talking to a girl on m... (read in full...)
I'm a 22 year old virgin and I just want someone to love
Q. Im a 22yr old virgin and its seriously getting me down with loanliness, i dont know how long i can take this frustration. I hang out with a large group of friends and i always feel like the 5th wheel that cant roll with the group due to the fact ...
A. 11 July 2009: I haven't always been single but I get how hard it can be when everyone around you is coupled off and you're on your own.
Just for the record, not all girls hate shy guys! I actually find it endearing, I definitly prefer it to someone who's cock... (read in full...)
I just cant let go, why?
Q. married but to be honest i dont love my husband but afraid to let go why i dont know. I know he no longer loves me either but i think we are just together for the sake of it . its like a comfort thing for both of us. but i just cant keep on like ...
A. 11 July 2009: It's completely natural to feel that you can't let go. Being a couple has become a habit, it's your life and, chances are, how you define yourself. I was with my previous partner for seven years and I felt exactly the same way as you do now. You ... (read in full...)
Has anyone ever lived with a schizophrenic?
Q. My aunt suffers from schizophrenia, she is on medication and has been for over three decades. i recently spoke with her psychiatrist who is requesting that we seek alternative approaches to her illness. she refuses, and that's putting it mildly to ...
A. 9 July 2009: I haven't lived with a schizophrenic but my sisters dad (who has always been like a dad to me too) has paranoid schizophrenia and I've helper take care of him. I'm not sure how much I can help you because your aunt sounds like she's very different ... (read in full...)
Being yourself :)
Q. I only wrote an article a little while ago but I like sharing little bits of life so here we go with another one! And by the way, I'm talking about men but obviously the same applies with women :) I often ask my male friends for advice. Every so...
A. 9 July 2009: Yeah I agree it's important to ask yourself what you want but when you're persuing someone or in a relationship it's not just about what you want is it? You need to think about what he wants too and I'm saying you should figure that out by asking ... (read in full...)
Do you need to talk to each other about becoming serious?
Q. Is it fairly universally accepted that to get serious with someone you're dating, you need to have a conversation with each other and agree to it? I'm assuming that's the case, but sometimes I get the feeling that the man I'm seeing might be ...
A. 8 July 2009: I agree with quirklady, it's only been a month and that's not a very long time. There's no need to have a talk about becoming serious just yet, it's early days and you're still getting to know each other right? If you discover you both really like ... (read in full...)
My guy is under a lot of stress and I want to comfort him
Q. My boyfriend is having a big birthday coming up on July 12th. He has had a lot of pressure lately and he has been really down. I know I help to bring his spirits up usually but I just really want to do something incredibly special for him. I've ...
A. 8 July 2009: That sounds really great, I'm sure he's gonna love it! Why not use Legioness' advice and present it to him after a walk and a picnic? Good idea though :) x... (read in full...)
How can I get over this fear of living as a single mum?
Q. Ever since my ex husband walked out of our then apartment, I have been unable to live on my own with my child. Instead I pay rent for an apartment I don't live. I stay with my mother. I don't understand myself. I wish I could live my beautiful newly ...
A. 3 July 2009: Hun, firstly you need to stop beating yourself up about this. The more you do the more stressed you'll feel and it's a vicious circle. I'm a single mum myself, I had my daughter at 17 and became a single mum when she was 5, she has ADHD so she's al... (read in full...)
How does the small stuff determine whether a relationship is worth investing in or not?
Q. Hey everyone. I wrote about a week ago. Guess I need a bit more feedback :-) So, for 2 weeks my boyfriend of 3 months had suddenly changed his behavior from loving to quite indifferent so I was close to the conclusion that he was trying to break up ...
A. 3 July 2009: If he didn't care about you then he wouldn't go to all this trouble, sending you emails and messages to explain his behaviour, and if he wanted to break up with you then I'm sure he would've jumped at the chance when you weren't speaking to him for ... (read in full...)
My guy is under a lot of stress and I want to comfort him
Q. My boyfriend is having a big birthday coming up on July 12th. He has had a lot of pressure lately and he has been really down. I know I help to bring his spirits up usually but I just really want to do something incredibly special for him. I've ...
A. 3 July 2009: I'm not sure about something he could use but if he likes pictures why not make and frame a huge collage that will remind him of you whenever he looks at it? take all the things on your list and write them on seperate pieces of paper, or a few on ... (read in full...)
I'm 13, Should I wait to have a child with my 17 year old boyfriend?
Q. my boyfriend and i want to have a baby. we are both in our teens (im 13 he is 17) and unsure if we should wait??? please help...
A. 16 June 2009: It's not unusual to want a baby at your age, lots of girls go through the same feelings, but you really shouldn't act on them. You say you're positive that your boyfriend will stick around so surely that gives you all the time in the world to have a ... (read in full...)
I don't want to have sex with alot of people!
Q. I recently got out of a six year relationship, this guy was the first only person ive ever slept with. Im a single mom of two, now and am trying to move on. I am old fashioned, had my ex been a better man I would've been happy having only 1 sex ...
A. 16 June 2009: You should stick by your morals and values, if a man doesn't like them then that's his problem and he obviously wasn't the right one. When you meet someone who really likes you for you, he will respect your beliefs. Good luck x... (read in full...)
Is it common to comment on looks when meeting someone new?
Q. I met a great deal of new people this weekend, mostly friends of my mother's, and each person commented on how "beautiful" i was. not how nice it was to finally meet me. Are they doing this to flatter me, or to be nice to my mother, or what? I ...
A. 15 June 2009: I don't think they were just trying to flatter you, they probably didn't realise you'd be offended either. I'm sure they thought how nice a person you were too but they didn't know that when they first met you did they? I always think it's lovely to ... (read in full...)
I'm 17 and a virgin. Is it true older women are attracted to young men?
Q. I'm 17 and a virgin.I'm looking to lose my virginity and heard that MILFs are very suitable for and attracted to the average young man.Is this true? I am overweight and not very socially experienced with women and quite anxious hence my virgini...
A. 11 June 2009: I don't agree that being overweight will affect your chances because everybody is different with their individual views on what beauty is. Which also means of course that not all older women find younger men attractive. Plenty of fish is a pretty ... (read in full...)
I don't like it when he touches me and I don't want sex!
Q. I'm dating this guy A (27) but only because I was pressured into it. See, I live with him (We have seperate rooms). We've been together for about 3 weeks. He says he loves me, and keeps talking about our future together. I feel very uncomfortable ...
A. 11 June 2009: B's suden appearance in your life shouldn't mean so much to you if you were only friends with benefits, if it's bothering you so much you should ask yourself if you really do like him more than you're willing to admit. You should never date someone ... (read in full...)
Parenting question: how to potty train a little girl?
Q. Ok my dad wants to get my sister off dipers she was potty trained but with dippers she dosent want underware she wates and holds it and pees her pants if she has to what do we do ...
A. 8 June 2009: So she just doesn't like underwear? Take her shopping and let het choose some for herself, she might be more than happy to wear them if they have pictures of her favourite tv characters on. Also you could try a reward chart and making a huge fuss of ... (read in full...)
What can I do, to feel more secure when talking to adults?
Q. How can i get better at talking to adults? i always feel so awkward or intimidated... whether it's a teacher, tutor, or a friend's parent. when they start talking to me, i kind of freak. i feel like they're older and wiser and i don't want to sound...
A. 7 June 2009: I couldn't believe it when I read your question because I used to be exactly the same way! You will grow out of this hun, of course there will always be people in life that we find intimidating but you will learn to deal with that. You're an adult ... (read in full...)
At what point does one go from dating someone who is also a friend, to being a relationship?
Q. I refer you to: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/what-kind-of-gift-would-be-fun-and.html I think this young lady is something special. She isn't the first I have liked, or the one who I have liked the longest. Nonetheless I feel strongly for ...
A. 7 June 2009: I think you should definitly ask her out again. Cinema is maybe not a great idea as you can't really talk to each other and get to know each other better. A date can be anything as long as it's something you both enjoy and you're having fun. As for ... (read in full...)
Can guys get turned on by someone they are not attracted to?
Q. Hello I have a question about sex. Can men get turned on if they are with someone they are not attracted to? When I kiss my boyfriend , he has his eyes closed and also and when I pleasure him orally he will sometimes close his eyes or look...
A. 7 June 2009: Going by what a male friend told me, yes men can get aroused by women they don't even find attractive but I don't think that's what's happening here. Nearly everyone closes their eyes when they kiss and just because he closes his eyes or looks past ... (read in full...)
I'm attracted to younger girls and wonder where it will go?
Q. I find myself looking at younger girls from about 8 onwards in a sexual way. This disturbs me. I am 25. I know that I can't do anything. And feel that I will have the strength to avoid doing anything to a girl. But I fear that one day I might weak...
A. 7 June 2009: You really need to get some help with this. You know it would be wrong to do anything with a young girl but you're already wondering if you might give into your feelings which is seriously worrying, if you're really as nice a person as you say you ... (read in full...)
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