New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login239599 questions, 1059263 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*91 agony aunt

*91

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message

*91's Ratings

Rating: 8.27

Excellent77%
Average7%
Poor16%
*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth.

Latest articles:

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [52 pages, 2031 answers]

Did she sell the phone I gave her? I regret how our interactions ended!

Q.   I am an Expatriate aged 39 and good looking working in a rather 3rd world country with good financial. I met a girl in a family friendly bar. After few visits at the bar, i took a liking to her as she was unlike the rest that goes around flirting ...

A.   21 April 2018: I have to agree. You need to leave this girl alone. You can’t even communicate properly so how can you be in love with her? She has made it extremely clear that she’s not interested in you romantically and you keep trying your luck. Accept ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.

Q.   Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...

A.   19 April 2018: The only way to get through this is communication. I’ll start by saying it’s a perfectly valid reason to break up with someone due to poor sex. A relationship shouldn’t be based solely around that, but I think it would be a huge struggle to put u... (read in full...)

I have an ex that wont let go.

Q.   Me and my ex girlfriend split up 4, maybe even closer to 5 years ago. In the end, she got quite nasty and I ended up blocking her on Facebook. Fast forward a few years and I get a message request from a previously deactivated account of hers,...

A.   19 April 2018: Block her, simple. I never understand the whole cyber bullying/harassment issue. Press the block button and they’re gone. ... (read in full...)

A guy I was seeing went quiet on me, he says he is following legal advise.

Q.   Im just wondering what are peoples thoughts. I was seeing a guy who went quiet on me we had been seeing each other for 6 month. i heard from him a handful of times in 2 month and didnt get to see him . I didnt sit about waiting for him i got on with ...

A.   19 April 2018: Why does it matter? He’s clearly messing around. If he wanted to see you why couldn’t he send one message saying ‘Hey let’s meet at x at 7?’ You know why? Because he’s not interested in doing so. Do as all the other aunts have said and block h... (read in full...)

He didnt hurt me enough to leave bruises, but scared me, did I cause this?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for over two years and we have even recently been looking at getting our own place together. We had a lovely weekend. He took me out for food and drinks Saturday and paid for everything. We laughed and danced. It was p...

A.   17 April 2018: So you’re going to stay with an abusive man? You’re really going to risk your mental and physical wellbeing because you don’t want to breakup? SCREW the breakup! This is your life you’re toying with here. How many women have probably felt and acte... (read in full...)

How do I handle my girlfriends past?

Q.   I would like to start out by saying that I consider myself very open minded. I am divorced from a 6 year marriage and am on good terms with. I have even made good friends with my ex-wife’s boyfriend and we hang out occasionally. My current ...

A.   17 April 2018: Therapy. I really don’t think you’ll get over this by trying to train your brain to think a different way. I’ve seen tons of questions like this on this site and said the same thing every time. I think you need to speak to someone who can ask the ... (read in full...)

He didnt hurt me enough to leave bruises, but scared me, did I cause this?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for over two years and we have even recently been looking at getting our own place together. We had a lovely weekend. He took me out for food and drinks Saturday and paid for everything. We laughed and danced. It was p...

A.   17 April 2018: This is where the relationship ends. Don’t stick around to find out what happens, he’s shown you the extent that he will go to and that’s enough to get out whilst you still have chance. I think initially you were both being very childish, t... (read in full...)

He compliments others and insults me.

Q.   My partner of many years verbally attacked me for the things I do to 'beautify' myself such as have hair nails and skin appointments etc done . I have never had cosmetic surgery and am not going to. He says I'm insecure and he wants someone who is ...

A.   16 April 2018: Why are you still with him? He sounds like an asshole and marrying him won’t make things any better. You’re wasting your time with someone dragging you down when you could be spending it with someone who has nothing but positivity to be spread. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend left, I want to fix it but she is ignoring me.

Q.   My girlfriend of 12 years has just left me. For the last 4 years we've lived together in our own place after a spell living with her family, we moved in shortly after my father passed away. I really struggled to deal with my father's passing...

A.   16 April 2018: It’s over, you have lost her. You need to accept this, you have had 12 years to make her feel special and to want nothing but you and you have by your own admission mistreated her. Everyone has a breaking point no matter how much they love the... (read in full...)

How do I accept that he doesn't want to be my friend?

Q.   I started speaking to this guy 'M' online around 3-4 years ago. Our conversations were very fluctuating, and never particularly in depth but I really like and admire M as a person. We get on great, have so many similar interests, and for a while I ...

A.   14 April 2018: Do you think this is what a friendship is about? Wondering whether someone likes you or not? You have messaged the guy and he’s not responding. What else can you do? Just leave it, if he wanted to speak to you he would do. Messaging people w... (read in full...)

What does this married man mean when he says he finds me physically attractive?

Q.   I've met this guy at work. He is married. We have a lot of things in common.He is a very private man. He doesn't talk much to anybody until I started working there. He said he likes me and enjoy being his friend. He is always careful about what he ...

A.   14 April 2018: You know exactly what this means. How could this possibly have a double meaning? This talk is inappropriate. You’re in the Work place and he’s married. Nip this in the bud immediately.... (read in full...)

My online guy has been professing his love for me but I've found out he has a girlfriend!

Q.   Basically I've been with a guy for 8 months and we're long distance (he's also from a different country than mine we just met in the summer) . It was his choice for us to stay together although we are far from each other and we always skype and keep ...

A.   14 April 2018: Block him. He’s online, he’s from a different country - It’s really not that hard. He’s shown his true colours, so let him get on with his life.... (read in full...)

My husband wants to hide me from the girl he wants a baby with

Q.   i have been married for 4 years, i had to remove my womb due to medical conditions. my husband and i agreed on the operation. now he wants a baby so i said to him he must get someone very far and i dont want to be affected by it. he now got someone ...

A.   12 April 2018: Let me get this right. Your husband wants a baby so he’s going to get a random woman pregnant and keep you secret from her and her secret from you? Then when the baby comes what happens? I really don’t understand. He lives a life with this wom... (read in full...)

I'm having an affair wih my fiance's best friend.

Q.   I’m engaged due to be married September, I’ve started having an affair with one of his best friends. Now I don’t know whether I love his best friend. He’s asked me to not get married. My fiancé is a good man great father and stable. His frien...

A.   12 April 2018: You clearly don’t love your fiance so I’m not sure why you’re considering marrying him. The only logical thing to do here is break things off and allow the man to find someone that respects him and that he can trust, you’re not that person. The b... (read in full...)

Is the size of the take out he brought home a sign he is becoming cheap?

Q.   After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but ...

A.   4 April 2018: You asked for food and you got it. I really think you're making a mountain out of a molehill here. Ease of convinience? Were you expecting him to walk through the door with a three course meal? Tell us more as this can't possibly of been instigat... (read in full...)

Is the size of the take out he brought home a sign he is becoming cheap?

Q.   After dating selfish cheap guys, I'm pretty gun shy. My bf has always been generous w/me and we do pay for each other pretty often. Today he went out to eat and I couldn't make it, so I asked him to bring me some soup. I'm not one to eat a lot, but ...

A.   3 April 2018: I think I'd keep an eye on it rather than judging off something like this. Maybe that's all that was on offer on the place he went to? He knows you don't eat a lot so why would he buy a lot? Nobody wants to waste food and money and it would be silly ... (read in full...)

I invited him for some "fun" but he didn't respond. Should I give up or contact him again?

Q.   Hi, I met this guy - 2 years older than me - through a dating site on Wednesday evening. Right after, we told each other that we had clicked, and wanted to get together again - we live really close to each other. Yesterday, when I suggested we m...

A.   3 April 2018: Hit send before finishing... Why would you 'sting' him? I'm guessing that's some kind of angered response. Is that because he's not interested? Sounds like you need to grow up if that's how you deal with people that don't want to sleep with you... (read in full...)

I invited him for some "fun" but he didn't respond. Should I give up or contact him again?

Q.   Hi, I met this guy - 2 years older than me - through a dating site on Wednesday evening. Right after, we told each other that we had clicked, and wanted to get together again - we live really close to each other. Yesterday, when I suggested we m...

A.   3 April 2018: Why would you 'sting' him? I'm guessing that's some kind of angered response. Is that because he's not interested? Sounds like you need to grow up if that's how you deal with people that don't want to sleep with you. Just move on like a normal p... (read in full...)

My ex is coming back into my life when I have a new partner!

Q.   I need some advice, 4 years ago I started dating my best friend, we were together for about 8 months and it was perfect! However I made mistakes in the relationship such as being too close to her and so i drove her away and didnt handle the brea...

A.   2 April 2018: Why would her friend contact you? That's extremely odd. You hadn't spoke in 3.5 years but suddenly you're the one she needs to speak to? Something is fishy here. If you're completely stuck then why don't you ask your gf what to do? I'm sure she... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   2 April 2018: Don't let him back in, you know he's a scumbag. You'll be the one who's upset if you do. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...

A.   26 March 2018: This is laughable. I'd end things immediately and tell them both never to contact you again. Does he think this is jerry springer? What a pair of oddballs.... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   25 March 2018: You are not in love. This guy is cheating on his GF with you. YOU are a piece on the side. He is having sex with 2 girls, one of them he shows off as his GF and the other is you, who I doubt anyone knows about. He treats you sweet? Of course... (read in full...)

Am I crazy for wanting to blow up my marriage and the last 20 years for my first love from 30 years ago?

Q.   I arrived at this site searching on line for "I'm still in love with my boyfriend from 30 years ago", (sigh). I read a really good post, similar to my issue, but in many other ways not similar. My college BF - we will call him "T" - definitely my ...

A.   25 March 2018: Wiseowl is right. This is a classic case of the grass isn't always greener. It just seems like it is because your marriage has fallen on hard times. This situation really reminded me of a TV series that I'm currently watching caled power. Where th... (read in full...)

My love life is just a big mess.

Q.   My girlfriend and I were dating for just over a year and we were so happy together, but the last few months of us dating were just filled with arguments. Those arguments were mainly about her parents as they are extremely controlling and they were ...

A.   24 March 2018: I have to agree with wise owl. I don't see how getting back together will change anything. You are a prime example of an on/off relationship. I'm not really sure how you think what you have is healthy and that it's meant to work out. It's pos... (read in full...)

My husband had an affair and now I can't sleep with him

Q.   MOD NOTE: two questions combined into one Hi everyone. I've been married for nearly 6 years. We have a three year old son. Last year my husband and I had some issues where I focussed too much on one my hobbies and spent less time with him. He t...

A.   23 March 2018: There's absolutely no way back from this. I don't think any amount therapy or advice could make you let a man who makes your toes curl back into your life and easily show love and affection to him. You don't love him or trust him and you neve... (read in full...)

I can't make sense of her behavior and it's killing me!

Q.   I'm in a really bad place after a breakup and I need some help. What started off as friends with benefits close to 3 years ago eventually turned into a relationship about 9 months ago. It has been plagued with some issues here and there that h...

A.   23 March 2018: Look, it's obvious that this girl has LOTS of issues. To be quite frank it sounds like she's had a shitty life full of abuse and disappointment so it is not surprising at all that she finds it hard to let people in and decide who is trustworthy and ... (read in full...)

I like travel, he likes fast food and designer luxury products! Is there room for compromise?

Q.   I love to travel and see the world. I love experiencing different cultures and tasting different foods. I'm not a fan of designer luxury products, I just like to travel. My boyfriend doesn't like traveling or seeing the world. He can eat McDonald...

A.   23 March 2018: I don't think there is to be honest, you both have completely different things you want out of life. I think at your age its very rare that people change how they act and what they want to do. You've been around for 26years(+) and you like wha... (read in full...)

I don’t want to hurt this new man, and I also don’t want to wind up in a controlling relationship! Advice please!

Q.   Hello, so I have two questions, both are related. First a bit of background, I was in a relationship with (and married to) a man who ended up being a narcissist and was abusive. (verbally, mentally, sometimes physically) We were together 7 and half...

A.   23 March 2018: I think you're heading down a dangerous path. It's good that you've spotted this early on and you already know the warning signs to look out for. This is quite staggering how he''s come to such a conclusion from such little evidence which to me su... (read in full...)

I think my girlfriend is too promiscuous to me. Break up?

Q.   Dating for a few months I'm 30 she's 22, yesterday I found out a lot of pictures of her with her ex on her facebook from a few years ago. I asked her why she keeps them and she said she forgot to delete and that doesn't make any sense since they're ...

A.   22 March 2018: Yeah I do see a red flag. Your obsessive behaviour. She can do as she damn well pleases to be quite frank and there's nothing you can do about it. Why should she change that stuff for you online? It's part of her past, before she even knew you... (read in full...)

I feel betrayed, every guy I like my best friend gets!

Q.   Why do I feel so pointless? How come no guy ever likes me? So these questions started to arise after this guy who I liked who I told many time asked me if I had a boyfriend and I said no and asked why do you care and he said I’m jw I don’t like u ...

A.   22 March 2018: Can you give me one good reason why you want this guy back? Im sorry but you must be desperate to want to pursue a guy like that who can disrespect you like that to your face. If someone spoke to me like that they would be out of my life f... (read in full...)

With all the blocking and unblocking on social media, I don't even know what to expect anymore

Q.   So I've been seeing a guy for about three months now. The relationship was wonderful. We were both falling in love and had so much fun together. We met each other's friends and family and seen each other just about every day. A week ago we got into ...

A.   22 March 2018: Waste of time. If this is how it's going after only a few months it won't get any better.... (read in full...)

My ex has said sorry after many years, but I want her to apologise for more!

Q.   My ex apologised in a MSG many years after we broke up but all she said was sorry things were said. A lot more than things were said and I'm not an emotional person. She went out of her way to get to me on numerous occasions because I wasn't b...

A.   20 March 2018: Accept the apology and move on. Going back over everything in the hope to hear more apologies won't change anything so what's the point? Just leave it as it is and keep moving forwards.... (read in full...)

I’ve messed up the relationship with my siblings and am heartbroken. Is there any solution?

Q.   My heart is breaking. I feel so left out in my family and so envious of the closeness between my brother, sister in law, sister and bro in law. I’m the oldest, bro and sis younger, bro 3 yrs younger, sis 8 yrs younger. Both are married,...

A.   19 March 2018: I don't see anything wrong with messaging them both and telling them exactly how you feel and saying what you've just told us. Apologise for being distant and tell them that you want to become closer to them and improve relations. I don't think yo... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is telling another girl she should marry him.

Q.   Hi my boyfriend is deployed for 7 months in Latvia. I felt like he seems distant. I opened his Facebook I saw that he’s messaging one girl, he was telling the girl that he will send a letter to her and by the time that girl is 30 she should marry ...

A.   19 March 2018: Surely you know that you should dump him? What could you possibly want to salvage here? He's openly discussing wanting to marry another woman. You should he with someone you don't need to check up on.... (read in full...)

I want more from my friend who is also my FWB

Q.   I'll get straight to the point. My best friend and I (I'm female, he's male) have a 'friends with benefits' kind of thing going on. We are intimate, sometimes affectionate, but never romantic. We have never dated, but despite clearly not being a ...

A.   19 March 2018: You need to get this out of your head, you WILL NOT get together. If you were meant to be together you would be by now. You have given him sex with no commitment, he has no reason to want anymore from you. Guys usually make the first move and if h... (read in full...)

A co worker hates me and I want to quit.

Q.   a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to ...

A.   18 March 2018: What did you say to them? And what did they reply? I think if it's directly affecting your work performance then surely they must be able to do something.... (read in full...)

Do you consider girl on girl action cheating?

Q.   I am in a relationship for almost 3 years now. My boyfriend is out of the country most of the time. We are apart for months. I love him and I have never had sex wit another man nor have I ever kissed someone else. I haven't even flirted with another ...

A.   18 March 2018: Of course it's cheating. Any kind of intimacy with anyone outside your relaionship is cheating, how can you not think it is? You need to own up to what you have done and let your BF decide whether he wants to stay with you or not.... (read in full...)

I missed an opportunity with him that I will never get again.

Q.   About 2 months ago I felt an instant attraction towards someone at my local gym and I know he felt the same way because we were literally staring at each other longer than necessary. Anyway I screwed up because he said hi to me one time and I ...

A.   17 March 2018: Emotionally taxing? Seriously? From what youve described you're looking at each other in the gym. Just SPEAK to him, you're an adult. This sounds like a child's post.... (read in full...)

I feel I have met the right person at the wrong time ... and he is lying to his girlfriend!

Q.   I’ve known of this guy for about a year but I never knew his name I just knew him as we had mutual friends. I will add at this point that I had (and still have) a massive crush on him. I saw him whilst I was out clubbing at the start of this year ...

A.   17 March 2018: It couldn't be a bigger red flag. He is an absolute lying, deceiving sleazebag and the lengths he's going to to hide his interactions with you is frightening and shows he lacks a clear respect and boundary for his relationship. If he cared a... (read in full...)

He has broken my trust and lied to me so many times and I love him to bits!

Q.   My partner and i have been together for 2 years in April i am pregnant with his child but he constantly checks out other women i have looked on his phone history and he has been on porn sites i confronted him about it he swears blind he didn't do ...

A.   17 March 2018: It's impossible for neither of you to get hurt. Of course you will, it's a 100% guarantee. What's worse though? Bring upset for a few months over breaking up with someone who's not right for you in hopes of finding the ideal partner? Or spending ... (read in full...)

He has broken my trust and lied to me so many times and I love him to bits!

Q.   My partner and i have been together for 2 years in April i am pregnant with his child but he constantly checks out other women i have looked on his phone history and he has been on porn sites i confronted him about it he swears blind he didn't do ...

A.   17 March 2018: What do you do? Either deal with his behaviour or leave him. You can't keep bringing the same thing up over and over as it's clearly not changing things. Just because you're due to have a child together doesnt mean you have to stay together... (read in full...)

A co worker hates me and I want to quit.

Q.   a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to ...

A.   15 March 2018: I have a strong feeling that the situation will be resolved if management are involved. I'd make a note of whenever she does something that makes your job hard work. If you're acting in a completely professional manner trying to work as normal a... (read in full...)

A co worker hates me and I want to quit.

Q.   a co worker who liked me originally, now hates me as I became friends with another co worker at work. she has stopped talking to me and just scowls me and swears under her breath if I go near her and try to talk to her or I give her an order to ...

A.   14 March 2018: Let her act like a child. This isn't school, it's a workplace so all you have to do is act professional and stick to work talk. If she is making your job difficult, then I would get management involved. I would not even be considering quitting... (read in full...)

*91's friends

These are mutual friends, so *91 has added them and they have added *91!

02DuszJ agony aunt02DuszJ
101010 agony aunt101010
95Student agony aunt95Student
aavon82 agony auntaavon82
Abella agony auntAbella
AbigailBradbury agony auntAbigailBradbury
ALM12 agony auntALM12
Anaya agony auntAnaya
Andie's Thoughts agony auntAndie's Thoughts
Avni Hariharan  agony auntAvni Hariharan
Bearinhk1981 agony auntBearinhk1981
bearN agony auntbearN
Beatriceandjohn  agony auntBeatriceandjohn
Bieber agony auntBieber
CassieMosswing agony auntCassieMosswing
cheekymonkeyx agony auntcheekymonkeyx
Chiamaka agony auntChiamaka
Cutless agony auntCutless
Daller agony auntDaller
debsray agony auntdebsray
Eagle'sfan1986 agony auntEagle'sfan1986
Elliematthews33 agony auntElliematthews33
gv agony auntgv
Human jimi agony auntHuman jimi
jacinth haisha agony auntjacinth haisha
jadedpearl agony auntjadedpearl
jc2008 agony auntjc2008
kacy tomson agony auntkacy tomson
kelvin1357 agony auntkelvin1357
Kirstyteenauntireland agony auntKirstyteenauntireland
KlassyKirsty agony auntKlassyKirsty
londonmiss agony auntlondonmiss
mandygirl2011 agony auntmandygirl2011
manoul  agony auntmanoul
MarlonT agony auntMarlonT
meltwo agony auntmeltwo
MissTellAll agony auntMissTellAll
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
N91 agony auntN91
NennaHB agony auntNennaHB
newgia667 agony auntnewgia667
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
oliviaclairex agony auntoliviaclairex
Otubma agony auntOtubma
PhiliGirl agony auntPhiliGirl
Pre Smith agony auntPre Smith
PrincessRiches agony auntPrincessRiches
ScaredForLove agony auntScaredForLove
ShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou agony auntShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou
Shanah98 agony auntShanah98
Simply Jane2011 agony auntSimply Jane2011
snooki2 agony auntsnooki2
some random latina agony auntsome random latina
StarryEyes101 agony auntStarryEyes101
sweet_lover101 agony auntsweet_lover101
themusicgoddess19 agony auntthemusicgoddess19
This_is_not_a_dress_rehearsal agony auntThis_is_not_a_dress_rehearsal
TylerSage agony auntTylerSage
when nothing goes right go left agony auntwhen nothing goes right go left
wrathykins agony auntwrathykins
Y_v agony auntY_v

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.171874900000148!