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*91

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*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth.

Latest articles:

Afraid to commit

No replies yet...

8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [65 pages, 2575 answers]

Is my male coworker playing mind games with me?

Q.   There is a coworker who works in a different department, “John”. He doesn’t go to meetings, has attitude, gossips, flirts, dates fellow coworkers, likes to mess with people, etc. When I first talked to him about something work-related, he...

A.   24 March 2019: In all honesty, why do you care? You’re at work, not a social gathering. If he wants to act like a child then let him. Concentrate on the job you’re being paid to do.... (read in full...)

His priorities don't make sense

Q.   DEAR cupid, my boyfriend I and have been together for a year and 1/2. We have been living together for a year. We have been experiencing issues and decided to end our realationship to work on ourselves and our relationship. This is where it gets ...

A.   20 March 2019: I’m with you. Who on earth would want to save for a house with someone they’re not in a relationship with? That makes no sense whatsoever. The very fact that you’ve broken up shows you’re not a good match! Forget the house plan, move on a find t... (read in full...)

Why did he unmatch me after hooking up?

Q.   I hooked up with this guy from Tinder the other night but we didn't have sex because I was on my period. That didn't seem to bother him but I was uncomfortable with it and gave him oral instead. I told him next time we will go all the way and he ...

A.   20 March 2019: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-suspect-hes-trying-to-cheat-on-her.html Gonna take a stab in the dark that the above post belongs to you. He got some kind of sexual satisfaction out of the scenario and now he doesn’t want to know you. Simple. ... (read in full...)

Is the grief causing him to treat me badly?

Q.   Hello. Firstly just for some context I was in a on and off relationship for 10 years with the sweetest best friend of a boyfriend who was my high school sweetheart but his lack of ambition and lazy attitude I couldn't take anymore. We are ...

A.   20 March 2019: Why would he take it out on you though? His partner? Someone he supposedly loves. Was it your fault his parents died? Or that he broke his leg? I highly doubt it, so why are you his punching bag for it? These kinds of guys usually are charming, say ... (read in full...)

I love my wife but have a sex doll. Why don't I just cheat with a real woman?

Q.   My wife and I've been married for a long time. Our sex life is only 3 times a month now. Sex was a big part of our relationship from the beginning. We would do it as many as 15 times within a month. I understand all the situational things that ...

A.   17 March 2019: You’ve got to be trolling. Like Wiseowl, I remember your other post where you said your wife was cheating. If all this is true and you’re being cheated on and you’re having sex wth a doll not to cheat on your wife then I think it’s safe to say t... (read in full...)

I want my married lover's wife to know I am having his child

Q.   I have been dating this married man a little over 2years now. I was with him for 5 months before he married his wife(chose another woman over me whiles I was with him). At the time of his marriage I was two months pregnant for him which I made him ...

A.   17 March 2019: Move on. Why are YOU trying to act like a victim here? You willingly helped a man cheat on his partner which then progressed into his wife and you’re trying to act like YOU are being hard done by? Grow up. Seriously, think about what you have bee... (read in full...)

How much time do you think she'd take to be ready to date again after her previous long relationship?

Q.   Hello folks. I'm being driven nuts by a dilemma and since I can't talk to any of my friends about it, I thought I'd ask about it anonymously instead of turning it over in my mind to no end. So this is the situation. I'm a 25 year old, attracted t...

A.   16 March 2019: I genuinely don’t think there is. She has known you for a good few years now I’m assuming? So she knows what you’re like, your personality and behaviours and if after all that time she still doesn’t want to get into anything serious after being si... (read in full...)

Why would a man leave like this, could this be related to anything I could have done without purpose? Is there any possibility to get him back?

Q.   I dated a guy I work with for a month(I started working at this place 2 months ago),but we don’t work in the same office. It was a really intensive dating. We met almost everyday, spent a lot of time together. He was really into me and I liked him a ...

A.   15 March 2019: You’re right, you do deserve better than what he can offer. He’s a messer, plain and simple. If he’s not in the right headspace to be dating people then he shouldn’t be trying to drag someone into the situation. Stick to your guns, let him play... (read in full...)

Why would a man leave like this, could this be related to anything I could have done without purpose? Is there any possibility to get him back?

Q.   I dated a guy I work with for a month(I started working at this place 2 months ago),but we don’t work in the same office. It was a really intensive dating. We met almost everyday, spent a lot of time together. He was really into me and I liked him a ...

A.   15 March 2019: He already has left you. Getting back with him, if the opportunity, arose would be foolish. He has come up with a reason not to date, now whether you believe it or not is irrelevant. He doesn’t see a future here or else he would not of broke up... (read in full...)

He is trying to make it out like I’m overreacting, but why buy gifts for his female co-worker?

Q.   Hello, Looking for any advice on how to keep pushing forward and leave be okay with my decision. Last week I found out my husband purchased flowers for a coworker. He states he was just being supportive because she hosted a networking influenc...

A.   15 March 2019: Trust your gut instinct, you know something is up here. This isn’t normal behaviour, he’s lying! If he’s complaining at you for spending money and then going out buying people gifts, then something is smelling fishy to me. He’s trying to impress ... (read in full...)

Why am I kept separate from his family?!?

Q.   Im not sure what to do. Ive been seeing a guy who i met from work for around 2 years, we dont work together now and we have separate places too. The relationship got off to a rocky start due to work colleagues gossping and me cheating with an...

A.   15 March 2019: Why start the time limit now? It’s been 2 years. Does anyone actually know about you? Has he told anyone? Or are you truly in the dark? This doesn’t sound like the signs of a positive relationship, it’s clear for all to see. You started by cheat... (read in full...)

I really like her but she's giving me mixed signals

Q.   Hi I really like a girl and get mixed signals, sometimes I feel she likes me and other times she is distant and feels like she is pushing me away. It's really a day by day thing. Some days she is clearly interested and then others seems to want to...

A.   14 March 2019: Neither. If a person is interested in another they will make it known. No matter how busy someone is, if they want to make time for someone else, they will do. You’re wasting your time here. If 2 people want to be together they will put in... (read in full...)

How much time do you think she'd take to be ready to date again after her previous long relationship?

Q.   Hello folks. I'm being driven nuts by a dilemma and since I can't talk to any of my friends about it, I thought I'd ask about it anonymously instead of turning it over in my mind to no end. So this is the situation. I'm a 25 year old, attracted t...

A.   14 March 2019: There’s nothing here I’m afraid. If she REALLY did like you, she would WANT to be in a relationship with you. She wouldn’t be mulling over the decision and wondering if she will ever be able to love someone again. She will know that she can do w... (read in full...)

Am I overreacting to his sex secrecy?

Q.   So, crazy title question, I know, but I'm not sure if im overreacting. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I were talking about women "squirting" during sex (insert embarrassed face lol). We were just talking about it casually because we are v...

A.   13 March 2019: Well did you enjoy it or not? Do you give him permission to touch your body or not? If yes to both questions then what’s the issue? Enjoy the good sex life. He was totally going at it in a jokey manner as I think most people would. I’m not sure... (read in full...)

She blocked me and unblocked me on instagram, what should I do?

Q.   She Blocked and unblocked me on Instagram, what should I do? A short background story: I had been talking to this girl from campus for about 2 months now. It was going pretty well, and we had met about 3-4 times, exchanged our numbers an...

A.   13 March 2019: Nothing? She’s not interested, move on. ... (read in full...)

How hard is it being a single parent? And how do I explain this to my child?

Q.   hi i have just recently broken up with my partner of 5 years we have a 3 year old daughter together I couldn't keep the relationship going any longer no matter how hard I tried he made no effort to spend any time with me and our daughter we would ...

A.   13 March 2019: It sounds like you’ve already been doing a fine job as a single parent up to now! Keep it going. If your daughter asks where daddy is, then just keep it simple. That sometimes adults fall out with each other and they have to go their separate... (read in full...)

His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?

Q.   I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...

A.   13 March 2019: What a selfish idiot. Feeding you lies to win you back that he had no intention on going through with. Well you’ve seen his true colours now anyway. Block him and move on with your life, all the best.... (read in full...)

Isn’t it weird for a man to have pictures like these on his phone?

Q.   I chatted online to someone who seemed really lovely. He told me that he was very needy, I am done with needy men but I thought I shall give him a chance. We met, he was lovely but he talked too much which irritating me, while he was showing m...

A.   13 March 2019: ‘I am done with needy men but I thought I will give him a chance’ So you’re not done with them then? You’ve already told us that you don’t want to date this kind of man again so why do you neee advice to tell you not to do it?... (read in full...)

He said I was overthinking things and now it’s all awkward! What do I do?

Q.   So, basically theres this guy ive been messaging, we know each other well due to his son being in the same class as my brother. I decided to email him over the half term just to see how he was and that i missed him last week and kind of wanted t...

A.   13 March 2019: Didn’t you like the advice the last time you asked?... (read in full...)

He won’t listen to me, that he has no need to prove himself! How to get through to him?

Q.   Hi, I have known a guy for about four years and have been dating him for nearly two years, he is good friends with my family and he and my Grandad are always winding each other up. They love the banter but as per usual my Grandad took it a bit too ...

A.   12 March 2019: I’m not sure what the problem is here. Your BF is being more romantic.....enjoy it.... (read in full...)

I can't let go of what my boyfriend did

Q.   Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...

A.   12 March 2019: Yes. Definitely the right choice, forget about him. ... (read in full...)

His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?

Q.   I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...

A.   12 March 2019: I think this is probably the end of the relationship here. He doesn’t want a child, end of. Why’s he trying to make this into some kind of business deal? I’d feel sorry a child who’s father only wanted it for the sake of keeping a relation... (read in full...)

His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?

Q.   I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...

A.   11 March 2019: As you said, they make no sense whatsoever. Sounds to me that he doesn’t want to move so he’s trying to reel you in by promising you a child. If he has to move to you, you miss out on a child. Where’s the logic in that? Sounds like he’s trying t... (read in full...)

Would you date a toothless guy?

Q.   Will you date someone with no teeth? I mean, i know hes not broke, he has 2 jobs in LA, he has Volkswagon car and can travel anytime he wants. Im just curious why he wont go dentist for it to be fixed. Lol...

A.   11 March 2019: Nope. I don’t understand how somebody could not want teeth. That shows a clear lack of hygiene or a severe addiction to drugs at some point in his life. Either way it would be a no from me.... (read in full...)

She said yes to the date...but her female friend wants to join us as well!

Q.   I asked a girl on a date and she said yes. but we were not sure what day we were both free. A few days later i suggested two dates, the first she was busy and the second she said maybe. A few days later we were chatting and I asked her to remember ...

A.   11 March 2019: Not interested. She was ‘busy’, then ‘hmmm maybe’ now ‘yeah I’ll come if I can bring X along’. If you ask someone on a date and they’re genuinely busy but DO want to go on the date, they will MAKE time somewhere. You gave this girl 2 chances a... (read in full...)

My FWB blocked me on WhatsApp!

Q.   what do you do/say to someone that has blocked you in wassup? I was seeing this guy for about 2 yrs. It wasn't a serious relationship but it is a friend with benefits. ...

A.   11 March 2019: You move on? Really simple. Why would you even be pondering this? It was only sex, you can get that from anywhere. Unless you’re not being truthful and you have feelings? Either way, this guy wants nothing more to do with you. Get over it.... (read in full...)

Divorced guy asked me for drinks then backtracked and said that we should stop before things get complicated!

Q.   Theres this guy that ive been talking to via email. We know each other well due to his son going through school with my brother. Ive always liked him, but never really said anything. So recently I decided to send him a message to see how he was. We ...

A.   11 March 2019: Listen to what he’s telling you, end things here. He is being very honest with you, if you try to pry any further then you may get unwanted outcomes. What good situation begins with someone telling you things should end before they’ve begun? H... (read in full...)

3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...

A.   11 March 2019: I think you’re being foolish to put your energy into trying to fix things. A woman who’s in love doesn’t cheat multiple times. Where’s your self respect? Get out before you go insane.... (read in full...)

Am I just paranoid/jealous or is my boyfriend's cousin really weird with him?

Q.   Hi I've been having weird gut feelings. Ever since I've started dating him his cousin seems to have a problem with me. She's accused me of changing him when I haven't done anything and sent me hate messages which caused tension between me, her and ...

A.   11 March 2019: Yep, this is definitely weird. This girl is attracted to your BF to some degree and is jealous, theres no other logical explanation for it. If he really wanted her out of his business he would tell her straight. The fact he’s not doing this sho... (read in full...)

She blocked me on facebook because I looked her up

Q.   Been seeing this woman for four months, have a lot of fun going out dancing movies places to eat, the sex is great, but she only has time to see me once a week,I told her I looked her up on Facebook, she got really mad,she said that's personal, so ...

A.   9 March 2019: If you think this is the signs of a healthy relationship then I’m not sure what to say here. She’s obviously hiding you from something. Surely you think you can do better than this?... (read in full...)

I suspect he’s trying to cheat on her with me. Should I confront him?

Q.   I matched with his guy on a dating site a couple months ago and give him my number. He clearly only wants to hook up and that's ok with me because I'm not trying to date him, just wanna have some fun with him. We have yet to meet in person but I did ...

A.   9 March 2019: If you’re this bothered by the whole scenario then why not just block him and move on? Is a fuck really worth the hassle of trying to work out who this mystery woman is? There’s plenty of other guys out there you could have sex with. ... (read in full...)

Do I stay with my job with little time off and great money or go for something less stressful?

Q.   This isn't a relationship question, but a work one instead. Last year I posted a question about becoming a chef and got loads of great replies. I love most of my job and the pay is good and I have had a promotion and my manager wants to promote...

A.   9 March 2019: Well you tell us. What’s more important? Your mental health and well being or 3-4K? It sounds very obvious to me when it’s put into simple terms like that. If you do decide to switch jobs, I wouldn’t do it without first having another solid jo... (read in full...)

I can't let go of what my boyfriend did

Q.   Hello, I recently posted about my boyfriend crossing the line. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-think-this-is-not-acceptable-and-he.html Him and I talked about it and he says he understands how I see that he crossed the line and that he will...

A.   9 March 2019: Break up? Quite simple really. The only way he could disrespect you anymore than what he has been doing is by sleeping with her. I don’t know any of my friends that take other girls besides their GFs out for meals and pay for them. Do you ... (read in full...)

Do I have a valid reason to leave him?

Q.   Hi. I am currently confused at the moment. Can somebody tell me what to do? So i met this guy on a dating site a month ago. Everything went well, we do video call for hours, we made plans for the future, he tells me i love you and misses me. But as ...

A.   9 March 2019: Because he doesn’t want you to forget him. It’s really simple. He enjoys knowing he has this power over you, it strokes his ego. There shouldn’t be any ‘trying’ involved here. YOU are the only one who will get hurt from all of this, the rest o... (read in full...)

How do I cope with the end of this on-off relationship?

Q.   I am having a hard time dealing with my situation.. I have been on and off with a guy for 6 years. I believed we had a connection and that was why we always came back to each other. He was always the one to call me and come back, I would go about my...

A.   8 March 2019: The thing is you let him do this, you let him keep coming back into your life and pick you up when he needed an ego stroke and then discard you when something better came along. You need to learn to say no to people you know are using you! You m... (read in full...)

He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...

A.   7 March 2019: I have to agree with what others have said. If he’s perfect then why are you here wondering what to do? You wouldn’t be having these doubts if you knew he was the man you’re going to marry and have kids with. Your view isn’t wrong, just like... (read in full...)

He ended it when I thought things were going well. How do I let it go?

Q.   I was talking with a guy for a little over a month and last week he invited me out on a first date. We had coffee, chatted, it was really nice. We went back to his flat share and watched 3 hours of Dave Chappelle. At one point I asked him if I could ...

A.   7 March 2019: He’s talking rubbish. He knows exactly what he was doing and what he was after. If he wasn’t over the ex then why was he trying to fake that he was? He was over her when he was taking you on dates, kissing you, sleeping with you. Absolute... (read in full...)

He ended things suddenly but I still like him. How do I deal with this?

Q.   A guy I was seeing was giving me all the signals that he wanted more and I went with the flow. Suddenly he's ended everything and said he just wants to be friends.. I asked him whats going on because I'm so confused. And he said that at this poi...

A.   7 March 2019: Block him and move forwards. He cant be anymore clear than he has been. If somebody wants to be with you, the will MAKE it work. When people have an excuse, it’s a way of letting you down gently.... (read in full...)

Do I have a valid reason to leave him?

Q.   Hi. I am currently confused at the moment. Can somebody tell me what to do? So i met this guy on a dating site a month ago. Everything went well, we do video call for hours, we made plans for the future, he tells me i love you and misses me. But as ...

A.   7 March 2019: Forget about him. You CANNOT fall in love after 1 month. It’s absolutely not possible, you are strangers. You’ve never met the guy, you don’t know anything about each other, how can he love you? The idea of it is ridiculous. People droppi... (read in full...)

I want to settle down he wants to date for a few more years

Q.   Hello, I just got out a two year long relationship because my boyfriend won’t commit to me. I’m not blaming him, I respect what he’s dealing with and I miss him A lot. But there were some flaws that I couldn’t ignore. We have been in a long dist...

A.   7 March 2019: Simple. Block his contact and move on. You are on completely different wavelengths which would mean trying to salvage anything here would end in disaster. He wants to be single and sleep with other people whereas you don’t. How could that sit... (read in full...)

He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...

A.   5 March 2019: I have to agree, what you’re asking isn’t realistic. Your BF DOES NOT want to sleep with other people. You’re trying to usher him down a path he doesn’t want to go down just so you can satisfy your sexual needs. If this is something that you NEED... (read in full...)

3 plus affairs, Do my wife really love me?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for 28 years. However, in those 28 years, my wife has had 3 affairs on me that I catch her doing. I now have the same feeling that something is going on. What I am mostly concerned about is do she really love me or is ...

A.   3 March 2019: Come on man. Seriously? Are you a doormat or a human being? She wouldn’t of cheated once if she loved you. ... (read in full...)

He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...

A.   3 March 2019: I’ve seen a few posts on this site regarding open relationships and never once it being in a positive light. One partner always suggests it and the other is extremely apprehensive, not on board, or trying to convince their self that they’re okay ... (read in full...)

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