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*91 agony aunt


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*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth.

Latest articles:

Afraid to commit

No replies yet...

8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [59 pages, 2326 answers]

Why is this married female coworker playing games?

Q.   Why would married female coworker who is friendly with everyone shower me with gifts just told me she cheated on her husband before out the blue seeks me out all day but today she invites me to smoke and then ignores me and wouldn't even sit next to ...

A.   21 September 2018: Why are you even asking? She’s married - that means she is OFF LIMITS. If she wants to cheat, let her do it with someone else, don’t be an idiot. You’re at work to do a job that you are paid for. It’s not a dating pool. Quit the high school ... (read in full...)

Does him not being able to stay hard with me prove he isn’t attracted to me physically?

Q.   I just started seeing this new guy and everything is great. We are able to talk and laugh with each other and just have a good time. He calls me beautiful and sexy and says he likes the way I look. But last night we just tried to have sex for the ...

A.   21 September 2018: If he didn’t find you attractive I don’t think he would be entertaining you. He could suffer from erectile dysfunction. It’s very possible for younger people to have it also. He could of been nervous to be with a new partner, stressed with Wor... (read in full...)

Iv recently found out my wife has had sex with women

Q.   Hi, found this site accidentally while googling my issue. Ive been with someone 28 years and married 25 years, been together since late teens, thought everything was ok but now I know isnt. Iv recently found out my wife has had sex on more that a ...

A.   21 September 2018: I don’t think it matters whether the person was Male or female. The fact here is that she’s cheated on you on multiple occasions. She’s disrespected you and your marriage in the biggest way possible. How did you find out? What was her side of ... (read in full...)

Good date but no sparks. Should I ask for a second?

Q.   Hi all, I went on a first date with a girl last night. We met on a dating website. I am unsure what to do next. She was a nice girl and I think the date went well. It was comfortable and conversation flowed. She said at the end that it felt lik...

A.   21 September 2018: If you didn’t feel anything major then it’s not a great sign. I think the fact that you’re having to ask for advice is whether to go on a second date says it all. You wouldn’t be able to wait to ask her on a second date if this situation had pote... (read in full...)

How do I get the spark back it feels like we have grown apart

Q.   I've been with my partner for 4 years nearly and I loved him dearly. he's a good man I get on well with all his friends and family but we went through a difficult stage for a few months recently we were arguing and it just seemed like he disagreed ...

A.   21 September 2018: How are you expecting to get the spark back with your BF if you’re speaking to another guy? There’s no sense here whatsoever. Of course the new guy is going to be on the charm offensive, he’s going to be the nicest guy you’ve ever met! He’s try... (read in full...)

Will he come back to his senses .... and me?

Q.   Hi So my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year. Last year he lost his job and things were not great the fact that he never used to save or invested.I was there for him and supported him in any way I could.Last week he called Me asking h...

A.   21 September 2018: Why would you want him back? You gave him some constructive criticism, he insulted you then bolted. You should never have to cry over someone to take you back, he’s not worth the tears. Good riddance, you can do better. ... (read in full...)

I need to talk about what I am feeling but cant burden my family or people at work

Q.   Hi, I have a dilemma and I’m starting to feel desperate I’m afraid this may be very long winded :/ but if I don’t tell someone out there how I’m feeling I will implode. First of all I should say that I have been suffering from ptsd for the last yea...

A.   21 September 2018: You do have time. You absolutely 100% have time. This isn’t a little issue here, you are having suicidal thoughts. Do you honestly think your family wouldn’t listen to you? If you told them the extent that you’re feeling I’m sure they would do... (read in full...)

Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?

Q.   Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...

A.   19 September 2018: Good to hear you’re doing well. All the best for the future ... (read in full...)

My fiance is a virgin but I've slept with 6 people and had an abortion. Do I need to tell him all this?

Q.   Hi, I am engaged to a wonderful guy from the last 5 months, we are going to get married this December 2018,I came to know by investigation and inspection and his views and thoughts and actions, that he is a virgin and he is against premarital sex ...

A.   19 September 2018: I don’t think it’s any of his business to be honest. Your sexual past is nothing to do with anyone besides yourself. Unless of course, you have some kind of infection that can be passed on and is required by law to tell people. Talking about... (read in full...)

Move on or try to resolve between us?

Q.   Hey everyone, I've posted a while back about how to move on from my ex etc but wanting a bit advice on an update really. Long story short, me and my partner split up about 4/5 months ago now. We lived together for the majority of our relationship...

A.   18 September 2018: Congratulations on making progress and actually going ahead with councilling. I think a lot of people on this website will be advised to go down that route and just disregard it as nonsense and keep going around in the same circles, so it’s good to ... (read in full...)

Do I just forget about it since my partner hasn’t technically said anything wrong to her?

Q.   I’m not sure if I’m overreacting or not (as I do tend to) but my partner has a work and personal phone. The other month I had to use his work phone to get a contact and I came across messages over a few days to his female colleague. It was general ...

A.   18 September 2018: I think you completely overstepped the mark here. Whilst I don’t think what she’s doing is appropriate. She now knows that this pushes your buttons so I can see her continuing down this path as it will make you look possessive to your BF and ... (read in full...)

She owes me money but is adamant she transferred the money!

Q.   Hello This is not so much a dating question or anything, but I have used this website before for advice and found it helpful. A girl I have been on and off chatting to asked me if she could borrow £1000 to repair her damaged car. I agreed...

A.   17 September 2018: Did you get some kind of repayment schedule in writing? If not I think it will be hard to reclaim the money. If you didn’t give her your bank details then it’s absolutely impossible for her to have sent you the money back. There’s no way it would... (read in full...)

Is he fully really over me when it’s only been a month?

Q.   Me and my ex were together for 1 year and a bit. It was good for the majority of the time but recently he started acting up. About a few months ago he wasn’t giving me the effort I deserved and only recently he broke it off with me about a month ...

A.   17 September 2018: Maybe, maybe not. The question is, does it matter? Not really. You should be concentrating on your own healing process, not his. Some people get over relationships quickly whereas it can take others months or years. You can’t hold it against ... (read in full...)

Why is he acting this way about my airplane ticket?

Q.   My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship. A couple of months ago he asked me to attend his mother's birthday dinner (big family gathering at a restaurant) this upcoming weekend. I declined because I couldn't take time off from work. ...

A.   17 September 2018: I don’t think he wants to admit that he can’t afford the ticket. He made a promise to pay and upon checking his finances realised that he can’t pay for it and is trying to stall to save face. He knows you’re in a little financial difficul... (read in full...)

I’m pregnant by a boyfriend using me for a green card! Advice needed!

Q.   Hi there I am pregnant 9 weeks I’ve been dating this honderan man for almost two years. My boyfriend has been distant because he wants to get married but it’s to get his green card. He loves me but i am catholic and I want a church ceremony I’m not ...

A.   17 September 2018: Are you for real here? You seem to be aware that he’s using you for a green card but you’re just going along with it? He very clearly doesn’t give two shits about you so why on earth would he be trying to give you the wedding you want? Why are ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother hates me and my boyfriend takes her side

Q.   Recently I've been feeling distant from my boyfriend, he s not the person I love with. He critisces everything I do and makes me feel worthless, I've tried talking to him about how He s making me feel but he says he doesn't put me down that ...

A.   16 September 2018: I don’t understand why you’re still together. He cheated on you, his mother is a massive dick and he is a massive dick. What exactly are you sticking around for? You really think having him is better than being single? Someone who constant... (read in full...)

We had sex and now I haven't heard from him in 3 weeks. Did he like me?

Q.   Did he liked me? We met off Tinder? I met a guy off tinder a month half go. I am 28, he is 30. He messaged me first and I suggested meeting right away. He said okay and we met and it weird first a little because I was attracted to him and felt shy...

A.   15 September 2018: You met on a hook up app, suggested to meet straight away. Met up twice, had sex and then are wondering why he’s not been in touch? You gave it up ridiculously easy, he has nothing to hang around for anymore. It sounded like both your meetings... (read in full...)

I am recuperating from surgery and my boyfriend is having some girl I've never met pick him up and go out drinking

Q.   I need to know if I'm being Ridicolous and this is just petty. Or if what he is doing is wrong. I ended up having emergency surgery Wednesday which was completely unexpected. My boyfriend has been amazing. Coming to see me straight after work and...

A.   15 September 2018: Female anon, if that’s what the op meant then she didn’t say it. No where around that part of the post was a question asked. The questions start around the end of the post regarding this mysterious female. If the op meant does she have a ... (read in full...)

I feel I am not loved even though he says he does love me

Q.   I've been with the same person for almost 6 years. he has never been super loving or supportive. but the last 2 years it seems like he is ignoring me more. we have had sex the entire relationship maybe 20 times. so sex less than 1 time a month. he ...

A.   15 September 2018: Sounds like he could be socially awkward or a major introvert? Can you see your life going on like this forever? Or do you want to feel valued? He might say he doesn’t want to see other people, but do you not? You’re clearly not fulfilled or else ... (read in full...)

He says he can't predict how he will feel in the fututre

Q.   I’ve been with my bf for 6 months it’s all going well we love each other a lot and planning on moving in in a month. He’s 30 and only had a handful of short term relationships (9 months max - he’s a commitment phobe and has never felt previous ...

A.   15 September 2018: What’s to stop you waking up one day and not feeling the same way anymore? Are you trying to say that you’re 100% guaranteed to love him for the rest of eternity but he’s not just because of his past? This is a risk that absolutely EVERYBOD... (read in full...)

My new boyfriend has become obsessed about my past

Q.   Hi there I ended my marriage a year ago due to domestic violence. I was married for 10 years and have 2 children out of this marriage. I'm in a long term relationship with this wonderful man - very caring, sympathetic, logical and strong minded p...

A.   14 September 2018: Doesn’t sound like you’re with the man you’re describing. If he was that caring and sympathetic then why is he not accepting of your past? This doesn’t sound like something he’s going to get over anytime soon and it seems like he’s being very per... (read in full...)

Why block someone and not delete them?

Q.   My ex and i split up 8 months ago i never thought id see or speak to him again. A couple of month back we slept together ( both wanted it ) but before we did we were talking about how we could try again. We started to talk a little more over the...

A.   14 September 2018: Because he doesn’t want to hear from you. It’s over. He is an ex so keep him in the past, trying to rekindle old relationships is usually a terrible idea. This is for the best.... (read in full...)

Why do I get so turned off after sexual contact?

Q.   I am male and am 21 years old. I'm currently on the dating scene but whenever I'm with someone it seems to be that I am lusting them and after it gets any further I get an immense feeling to be with them sexually, then after any sexual contact is ...

A.   13 September 2018: Because you’ve claimed the ‘conquest’. You did what you came to do and had sex with the girl. What use do you have for her now? The majority of young males have the same mindset. I did when I was your age and I’d be damn sure that most of my fr... (read in full...)

I kissed my ex when on a break from my boyfriend!

Q.   I need help, me and my boyfriend always break up and this time I thought we broke up for good, but no. He came back like always. But while we broke up I kissed my ex. And I feel so bad about it but I don’t know what to do. My boyfriend told me he ...

A.   13 September 2018: Instead of keep breaking up and getting back together, why not find someone that you have a continuous healthy relationship with? It’s extremely obvious that you two aren’t compatible or you wouldn’t keep going on breaks. Can you not see that for... (read in full...)

My brother finally introduced us to his fiance - she's my ex!

Q.   My brother has recently introduced the family to his new fiancée - but there's a massive issue. Basically he lives away and none of us have met her before - we only knew her name. We were all excited to meet her - but when he introduced her to ...

A.   13 September 2018: This could get all kinds of fucked up if it gets any further. You need to tell your brother immediately. End this now. How bizarre would it be for your brother to be married to your ex and he become the step father to his niece? How would this eve... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...

A.   13 September 2018: How have you found out it’s not him? This post is extremely confusing. How did you find the account in the first place? You must be on the dating website to have even noticed it. Is that correct? Then how have you come to the conclusion that it’... (read in full...)

My husband has blocked me on his phone and adds, texts other women

Q.   Hi aunts I got my second marriage and I got trust issues now because my first marriage ended with betrayal and I am afraid this might turn up in same manner. I don't understand if all men do this. My husband is always checking his Facebook account...

A.   12 September 2018: Because he’s looking to cheat? Normal people who are happy in their relationship don’t do this. Unless you’re going to accept that he’s a lying scumbag then your only option is to leave. You have caught him at it before and he hasn’t changed ... (read in full...)

I dumped my boyfriend for sponging off of me but now I feel guilty

Q.   I’ve been dating this guy for 9 months now. Things started off great and though we have had a few issues I feel like they can be worked through. The latest issue though is surrounding money. He lost his job a few months ago and has been having a...

A.   12 September 2018: It’s not your job to support him at all, is there a Jobseeker’s Allowance in the US? I’m not too sure how it works over there but in the UK you can get money from the government every 2 weeks I believe if you can prove that you’re actually trying to ... (read in full...)

Is this long distance relationship worth pursuing or should I just move on?

Q.   Hello everyone. So I have reached a point in my life when if someone were to ask my relationship status, I would say, "It's complicated". Basically, exactly one year ago I was on a pretty long layover, I downloaded a hookup app and star...

A.   12 September 2018: Forget and move on. You said yourself that people make the time if they want to, therefore you know deep down that this is over. Stop trying to take it any further, it’s your own time and feelings that are at stake, no one else’s.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...

A.   11 September 2018: How is he checking up on you if you’re not on there? How naive are you? You’re between 36-40 years old, surely you have enough life experience to notice when someone is fucking you around? His excuse is bullshit. Why would HE be insecure beca... (read in full...)

How could he move on so quickly?

Q.   I ended my relationship with my ex back in February not because we no longer loved each other but because we both had different out looks on life. Realistically it wasn't going to work. I left our house and moved back home. My ex was distraught and ...

A.   11 September 2018: Why does it annoy you? Why should he have to mope about because you broke up? That sounds a pretty childish and selfish attitude to be quite honest. I remember you asking your question last time also and as the other aunts and uncles said you rece... (read in full...)

DId I ruin a good thing by commenting on his social media and being petty?

Q.   Hey guys, I'm in a dilemma with a guy. So the beginning of August, I start talking to this college athlete that goes to the neighboring school. Everything is great, affection, attention, dates, sex and spending time. Until about a week ago, he pos...

A.   11 September 2018: Yes probably. Who wants to feel like they’re being watched on social media and having their activity stalked? Interaction with the other sex doesn’t mean they’re attracted to each other so it’s extremely childish for you to have reacted the way ... (read in full...)

Was I really nothing more than a sexual conquest to him?

Q.   I am 29 yrs old in a loveless marriage. I married a good friend thinking things will spice up post marriage but unfortunately there is everything in this relationship but passion. I do love my husband a lot and likewise but we have not had sex in 2 ...

A.   11 September 2018: It really doesn’t take a genius to work out that, YES a man you barely know ethat aggressively starts pursuing a married woman only wants sex from them. He’s hardly going to want a blossoming romance when he knows you’re taken. Why would you thin... (read in full...)

I am recuperating from surgery and my boyfriend is having some girl I've never met pick him up and go out drinking

Q.   I need to know if I'm being Ridicolous and this is just petty. Or if what he is doing is wrong. I ended up having emergency surgery Wednesday which was completely unexpected. My boyfriend has been amazing. Coming to see me straight after work and...

A.   10 September 2018: You’re overreacting majorly. He has female friends, so what? They drank at her house before they went on a night out. They weren’t having an orgy. Maybe if he was drinking alone with her at her house I’d be able to see your point more but there wa... (read in full...)

Should I call him out or just drop it?

Q.   Back story: I started seeing this guy back in February, but ONLY as a hookup (my intention at the time, since I was getting out of a 6 year relationship). This lasted for a couple months, and near the end of the couple months, I realized I was s...

A.   8 September 2018: Very simple - Block, delete, move on. When you’re trying to forget someone, always block their number. Messers have a habit of getting back in touch in future to try and scramble your head all over again as seen here. No need to call him out,... (read in full...)

He’s going away for the weekend with one of his best female friends!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together 3 months,we knew each other before though and its pretty serious. Everything has been good but there is one thing Im not comfortable with and its that hes going away for the weekend with one of his best girl ...

A.   8 September 2018: If you don’t think he will cheat then what’s the issue? That above statement shows that you trust your man, so stand by that until he gives you a reason not to. If he wants to cheat he will do it whether he goes on this trip or not. ... (read in full...)

I am paying my girlfriend's rent but we are not on good terms. What should I do?

Q.   Found girlfriends journal. Made the mistake of reading some of it. She has been in contact with her ex in prison. Sentenced 25 to life. Wants to visit him as soon as she can. Hasn't seen him in like 2 yrs. I have been supporting her almost 100% for ...

A.   8 September 2018: Kick her out, save your money. Why waste it on someone who’s contacting their ex? Break up and find someone there’s no drama attached to. Who needs a criminal adding to the mix of their relationship. Why are you paying for her rent in the first pl... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable in wanting us to cut back on our weed expenses? I

Q.   So my husband works to keep me at the moment he literally pays for almost everything (including holidays, clothes, materialistic things etc) But bare in mind I don't ask him for that he just does it. I'm unable to work at the moment due to my severe ...

A.   8 September 2018: Yes I do think you’re being unreasonable. There are many people that suffer from the same as you that aren’t in a position where they don’t have to work. They have to drag their ass out of bed every morning and go and work a job on top of the dail... (read in full...)

Is this relationship based on sex?

Q.   I am in a weird relationship with a 48 year old man. I lost my virginity to him but lied I was on my period. I had sex because I was ready to and do not feel an ounce of guilt. All I wanted from him was to have sex, get over with the pain and move ...

A.   8 September 2018: Honeypie beat me to it, I read this and immediately thought this sounds like a form of prostitution. Why would you get together with someone you didn’t fully want to be with? Leaving this situation is the only logical solution. You say you can ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is on a dating app! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend is on a dating app online for an hour. There's no photos and details but it says single looking for a relationship and half the profile is false to hide his identity. As soon as he went to sleep the profile said offline. What should I ...

A.   8 September 2018: How do you know he’s on there? How certain are you that it’s him if some of the info is false? If you know 100% it’s him then break up. What other option is there? He’s on a dating site claiming that he’s single, he doesn’t respect you and is l... (read in full...)

Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?

Q.   Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...

A.   2 September 2018: Things have gone tits up with the new guy and she’s realised she fucked up. Glad to hear you blocked her, keep moving forwards. You’ve done great up until this point so carry on with it. Best of luck... (read in full...)

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