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*91 agony aunt

*91

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*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

I do not sugarcoat my advice. I am straight to the point as I feel that is the best way to get through to someone who doesn't like to face the truth.

Latest articles:

Afraid to commit

No replies yet...

8 May 2018: Hello all, Im not quite sure why but I had a little urge to write something about a great fear of commitment that I used to experience, in case maybe it can help someone who is going through similar or has their own story to share. This is a...

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [70 pages, 2743 answers]

Given our connections am I naive to believe that this couldn't blow up in my face?

Q.   So I'm at a loss as to if I'm making the right judgement. To be very brief, I'm currently hooking up with a friend of mine I've known for almost 20 years. I crushed on him hard as a preteen and we got close to hooking up years ago but when sober he ...

A.   19 August 2019: Are YOU hoping for more? If yes then I’d say you’re being naive definitely. He’s been with multiple friends of yours and one very recently that he shut down immediately when she mentioned she wanted more so as honey pie said why would you be any ... (read in full...)

Do most men see short women as less attractive than tall women .

Q.   Do most men see short women as less attractive than tall women . I often see descriptions of ‘hot ‘ or attractive women include the word tall and cute or sweet women as shorter . Obviously individuals have individual preferences but in GENERAL is ...

A.   17 August 2019: Nope. Men rarely want a partner that’s taller than them. Different people have different preferences but as a generalisation I’d say men want a partner that is shorter than them. ... (read in full...)

We've broken up but he talks as though we're still together

Q.   Hi I’ve recently broken up with my partner due to a few reasons we split up nearly 2 weeks ago but he is acting as though we are still together he won’t talk to me about any problems we have this is one of the reasons I ended it but now he’s talking ...

A.   15 August 2019: Block all his contact and move on with your life. There’s no reason to still be speaking, you’ve made it clear that things are over therefore what’s there to discuss?... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend just going through a phase? Trying to impress a friend?

Q.   Im in this relationship for like about 2 years now and things have changed somuch recently. At first my BF was super nice to me and all was working out. We used to go out sometimes to places and have fun and he was like always very kind and sweet. ...

A.   13 August 2019: First of all, what the fuck? He forced himself upon you? So he has sexually assaulted you. That’s enough for me to know you need to dump this guy. He sounds pretty violent from your description. Who’s first reaction is to steam in and punch so... (read in full...)

He's coming on way too strong but I can't decide if he's genuine or manipulative?

Q.   Me and this man have been dating for 6 months, but we have been having alot of arguments the past 3 months it's almost a weekly thing. I do like him but i don't want to make it as an official 'relationship' till i make sure he's the right man, ...

A.   12 August 2019: So you’ve spent half the time you know each other arguing? Does that really sound promising? I’ve been with my GF close to 2 years and we’ve never had more than a slight disagreement up to yet. What you have isn’t normal it shows that you have ... (read in full...)

We're supposed to move in together next month but I don't like the way he treats me. Is it supposed to be like this?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend of 4 years are meant to be moving to rent a place together next month yet we've had this huge bust up and I'm worried it's a sign that we shouldnt be doing it. All last week he was quiet with me and then friday he went out with...

A.   8 August 2019: How do you KNOW he wouldn’t do it? I bet you thought he wouldn’t call you names or treat you like shit as well when you first got together right? Anyone who threatens to hit another is a prick. I don’t care whether it’s man on man, man on woman, ... (read in full...)

Do I confide in my husband's sister that he's having an affair?

Q.   My husband is having an affair. Do I confide in his sister? His sister is 10 years older and raised him. She knows him the best and I think it would bring me a lot of comfort. I don’t expect her to take my side as this is his family. I also normally ...

A.   7 August 2019: Why do you need someone to confide in? You need to find a divorce lawyer more than anything. Why would you be contemplating staying with a cheat? What are you getting out of this? He doesn’t respect you at all, you know he’s cheating and you’re b... (read in full...)

I'm in love with 2 men and unable to choose

Q.   I'm in love with two men and unable to choose. my long term boyfriend who I have been with for over a decade but I find im not physically attracted to him anymore and don't want sex with him but I do love him and his personality is like my soul ...

A.   6 August 2019: You don’t love either or you’d be able to pick one, it’s very simple. Cut ties with both and move on with your life. ... (read in full...)

Do I give my ex extra time to pay me back or go to court?

Q.   I was dating a guy for almost a year, he had had a very bad time with his health and wasnt working. He slowly got better and the doctor signed him off sick so he could work. In the time he wasnt working i offered to lend him a bit of money which he ...

A.   6 August 2019: Sue him. He had no intention of paying that money back until you took legal action, it clearly put the frighteners on him to give you some back. Go all the way and hopefully you may get extra for the hassle. Good luck.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend betrayed me in front of my family. Was I justified in dumping her?

Q.   My girlfriend and I were together for 3 years. We have an age gap relationship. She’s 22 im 33. Out of all three years this one has had to be the most stressful. For the last 6 months I’ve been unable to make ends meet. If it’s not one thing it...

A.   6 August 2019: Jesus, are you for real? She sounds like a saint! What a caring and loving woman. Looking after you and treating you when you’re in a poor financial state, being understanding and accepting that you couldn’t reciprocate at the time and you repay her ... (read in full...)

I don't feel the love anymore and wonder if he is cheating

Q.   I think my boyfriend is cheating on me but I have no proof. We have been together for 2.5 years. Probably within the past 5-6 months our relationship has changed drastically and it hasn't gotten any better. I am feeling so unwanted and alone. I feel ...

A.   5 August 2019: It does seem a little odd, maybe doesn’t directly mean he’s cheating but I can understand your suspicions for sure. It sounds like he’s grown bored of the relationship or his feelings are starting to die off obviously neither are a great outcome ... (read in full...)

My prince charming has turned into a frog

Q.   Hello and thank you My husband was very charming, and loving before we got married. After our marriage things changed. It seems he doesn't like compromising and feels he can still act single. He talks to exes( no children involved) he goe...

A.   2 August 2019: And for what reason are you staying? Is advice really necessary here?... (read in full...)

Boyfriend deleted his ex girlfriend's texts

Q.   I've been living with my bf now for almost 2 years. Recently, his ex texted him again. I know because he told me that she did. I asked to read the texts a few days later, but was told that they had been deleted. I asked why he had deleted the...

A.   2 August 2019: What has he done wrong here? He has been very honest, he didn’t have to tell you in the first place. He could of kept it secret and you found out by mistake with your own eyes. Would you have preferred that? I think that would make you more ups... (read in full...)

I want to trust him but how can I when hes so private about everything?

Q.   Hello and thank you for your advice I did post once before here. I snooped through my husbands cell. I know it was wrong but hes so secretive and if I ask him something he won't answer me. So yes I had a bad feeling and looked through his cell...

A.   1 August 2019: Why are you even attempting to trust him again? He has been caught red handed cheating TWICE! This guy couldn’t give a toss, you’ve caught him and he hasn’t even attempted to apologise. He doesn’t love or respect you so why are you honestly... (read in full...)

Weed consumes his whole life

Q.   Hi I’ve got a problem hopefully you can help me with my partner is a heavy weed smoker this drives me mad when we first met he had the odd joint now and again fast forward to 6 years later and he spends hundreds on it each month never has any money ...

A.   30 July 2019: Can you see another 5 years of this? Marrying this guy? He is a bum, nothing but. Anyone that lets something take over their life is a waster. I have no problem with people who want to take drugs, do whatever you want, some people drink, some tak... (read in full...)

A guy keeps coming back when he doesn't want a relationship.

Q.   My ex and met online game site 3 years and we hit it off. However, after 5 months he broke it off because he felt like we don’t live within reasonable distance to support a relationship. We live 5 hours away from each other of driving distance. We ...

A.   30 July 2019: Yes definitely it will work this time, why wouldn’t it? I mean it’s gone so well in the past every other time right? How can you not see for yourself that this isn’t working? He is a flake, you make plans and he drops out every time, he is a was... (read in full...)

Am I a creep for still feeling the same way about her that I did 2 years ago?

Q.   Hi all. Any advice about my situation is much appreciated. To give some context, I'm 16 years old and have recently finished GCSE's, soon to begin studying an animal management course in college. Over the course of school, me and my best friend s...

A.   25 July 2019: But where did these ‘signs’ get you two years ago? You’re best friends and she feels comfortable with you, it’s easy for those to be misread as romantic signs when they aren’t. I think if she liked you back she would of clearly told you when you... (read in full...)

Why do I feel offended my BF wants to take an enhancement pill?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been working our arses off these past few months and have planned a dirty weekend away together in a few weeks. We’ve hardly seen each other in that time because we’ve been so busy with work, family and events like weddings ...

A.   24 July 2019: I have plenty of friends who are using viagra due to erection problems, I’m 27 and they’re the same age, so it can happen to younger people also, although in this case I think your BF wants to take it so that he can have sex at any given moment of ... (read in full...)

My husband is abusive, where do I go from here?

Q.   I've been agonizing this for a while now. I love my husband more than I've loved any other man, and I see so much good in him, but is he abusive? He's never hit me. I don't think he would ever hit me, but he's really quick to anger. This is really ...

A.   24 July 2019: He is definitely emotionally abusive. He knows how to hurt you without violence, what to say and what buttons to press to make you crumble. What do you love exactly as personally I can’t see it. He makes you feel like you’ve done something w... (read in full...)

Fiance won't end things with emotional affair woman

Q.   My fiance and I are going through a rough patch. He recently sat me down and told me that there's something he needs to tell me. He told me that for the past three months, he had been texting with a woman from work. He said that although they ...

A.   23 July 2019: If he really wanted to end things and make things right with you he would do it no questions asked. I think the fact that he won’t tells you all you need to know. I’d be breaking things off with this one. He has no respect for you.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is repulsing me.

Q.   This is going to sound really bad, but i am starting to get really repulsed by my bf. We broke up breifly this yr n got bk together for the kids but i still feel the same. I see him like a friend, no spark, nothing in common anymore and i honestly ...

A.   23 July 2019: Why waste your time? Move on.... (read in full...)

Is it ok to have a relationship, but keeping my goals first at the same time?

Q.   Hey guys! Despite my usual posts in here, I have a pretty calmed down question/need for advice. I was in a 6 year relationship from 18 to 25. I am now 27 and after a slew of some flings and single dating, I was able to find a really great ...

A.   23 July 2019: I don’t think you do want to be with him, if you did you wouldn’t be here asking this question. You shouldn’t have to convince yourself that you want a relationship with someone, if you wanted to call him your BF then you would do. The reason y... (read in full...)

Emotionally abusive friendship is there a way out ?

Q.   I'm in an emotionally abusive friendship with another girl, we have been friends for many years. Its so hard to let go because when we get along its like the best friendship ever, we connect she totally understands and supports me, and vica versa, ...

A.   22 July 2019: Absolutely cut contact. She says she knows it’s wrong then she does it again? Why do you keep letting her back in? Are you expecting her to change? She’s shown her true character and it is NOT a good one. Move on.... (read in full...)

I don't understand why men cheat

Q.   Why do guys cheat? Is it because the sex is no good with me or is it because hes just a man?...

A.   22 July 2019: Why do guys cheat? You mean why does anyone cheat right? It’s not just strictly men that do this. People cheat because they are assholes. If you can’t stick to exclusivity then you shouldn’t be in a relationship end of. People cheat because ... (read in full...)

I'm single and pregnant, despite complications with the baby the father doesn't want to know about us.

Q.   So I was dating a guy for 2 months, going really well then he ended the relationship due to the fact he didn't like the fact I have children, 3 weeks later I found out I was pregnant with his child, (implant broke) he said when he found out he ...

A.   22 July 2019: He sounds like a deadbeat, forget the guy. If he wants nothing to do with the situation then allow him to make that decision. Definitely make sure that you seek child support from him, he helped create the baby so he can damn well pay for it. ... (read in full...)

I think something off with this online guy do I talk to him about it?

Q.   I met a guy online through a language exchange app, where you can talk to people from all over the world. I think throughout our communication i have always had thoughts that something was off. We moved off the app and that's where it all started ...

A.   17 July 2019: LISTEN to your instinct. If something feels too good to be true then it more than likely is. 4 months is NOTHING! It should be easy to break contact at that point, if something doesn’t feel right then you’d be silly to advance further.... (read in full...)

How can I make my boyfriend realize how awful he's been to me?

Q.   My boyfriend has been horrible to me lately and I'm really upset that he doesn't feel bad for treating me the way he has. Last week he asked me to book a last minute holiday, I don't know why he couldn't do it himself but just text me his card...

A.   17 July 2019: Leave? Simple. Who speaks to someone like that when they’re supposed to care and respect them? Sounds like a prick. He will learn that he can’t treat people that way if you leave and find someone else.... (read in full...)

Should I believe my married man?

Q.   Just decided to break up with my MM after over 12 years We had a lot of ups and downs as well I just got to the point now where I had enough He tells me i’m the love of his life the woman he loves with all his heart , but that there is no way ...

A.   10 July 2019: Hmm, should I believe that a man who lives with another family and is married to another woman loves me? Are you living on this planet? He gets no strings attached sex outside of his marriage, of course he doesn’t love you. How can you love som... (read in full...)

My husband has cheated called me names and won't talk about why he cheated

Q.   Hello and thank you My husband and I have been married for two years. Our relationship has had some issues firstly he has cheated twice that I know of. He tells me that will never happen again. I have to admit sometimes I feel a bit insecure b...

A.   9 July 2019: Okay so you’ve basically set a precedent that it’s okay for him to cheat. Why would he stop now? He knows he can get away with it. He insults you and belittles you, slept with another woman and you’ve just swept it under the carpet. Do you hone... (read in full...)

Was my girlfriend cheating?

Q.   Dear all I posted about my situation a while ago, but it has changed since so i want to know what you think. My girlfriend (its long distance at the moment) went clubbing, got drunk and can't remember what happened. she took a morning aft...

A.   7 July 2019: Yeah, she has cheated. She kissed multiple people and had sexual contact with others, that is cheating in everyone’s book. There’s nothing here to question. First she said she may have been raped and now she’s slowly revealing what actually... (read in full...)

Straight friend wants to try gay sex with me.

Q.   This guy and me, we're friends from childhood, we have known each other our whole lives. I'm gay and he's straight. Recently he broke up with his girlfriend and that's when he told me he'd like to try it with a guy (it meaning sex). I told hi...

A.   6 July 2019: If you didn’t think it was a bad idea you wouldn’t be questioning it in the first place. Stick to your guns! Like mentioned before you’re not a guinea pig he can perform his experiments on. If he wants to try gay sex then he can find it on the a... (read in full...)

I walked in on my husband performing oral sex on my best friend

Q.   Hi there. I am 29 years old and have been married for 5 years. My husband and I have been together since we were young teens. I never thought he could hurt me but I was away on holiday with my friend and we came home early, when i returned I walked ...

A.   5 July 2019: This sounds like a troll to be quite honest but if it is genuine, are you being serious here? He’s betrayed 16 years of marriage, you have caught him red handed, what is there to consider here? He is a cheat, plain and simple. To try and forgive ... (read in full...)

A second chance in the gay dating world??

Q.   Hi..I am really surprised how so many guys stand others up - me included - on the very first date. I contacted a visiting guy by 5 pm (local time)today; we swapped pics and agreed to meet up by 9 pm. He didn't show up. One hour later he texted me ...

A.   5 July 2019: Nope, never. If someone can’t be bothered to meet you the first time they say they would do you honestly think that bodes well for the future? First impressions are everything in dating so if they give you a reason to doubt them from the off, acc... (read in full...)

How do I get rid of my horoscope addiction?

Q.   HI I am 25. Last year I got dumped by my high school sweetheart of 6 years. It was painful and finally I moved on . I had mood swings at times I cry myself to bed. So I picked up this habit to believe on horoscope . Now I check my predi...

A.   26 June 2019: How to get rid? Understand that it’s a load of rubbish. They make very general statements that could apply to anyone’s life and the reader such as yourself will connect the dots. Complete and utter garbage. ... (read in full...)

Possible three years affair between my boyfriend and my close friend, is she lying?

Q.   My boyfriend and I got drunk at a mutual friend's party. She's supposed to be my friend but I had always had some feeling ever since I've been with my boyfriend and also with my ex she used to be a very flirty friend since I can remember. Long ago I ...

A.   26 June 2019: This sounds like a whole lot of drama. Your BF sounds like a disrespectful dick and your friend doesn’t sound very reliable if she wouldn’t tell you these things were happening. If one of my friends GFs made a pass at me I would inform them rig... (read in full...)

My husband has a massive problem with texting women endlessly, no amount of counseling has helped yet I can't leave because of certain situations

Q.   After 16 years of marriage I’ve hit a cross roads and I have no idea what to do next, so over the years my husband has been texting and emailing other women, it’s always in secret but strangely it’s never sexual, he meets woman at work or online and ...

A.   26 June 2019: Why would you get with someone like this when you knew his past and it’s like you’re now surprised that he’s done the same thing. You absolutely can leave, move in with your parents or a friend if needs be, he has had multiple chances and ends up ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend expects me to cut his family's hair for free since I will soon be a hairdresser

Q.   I'm about to qualify as a hairdresser and my bf if expects me to cut his families hair for free otherwise he says it will be awkward? He has a large family and I've spent nearly a year and half working for apprenticeship wage. Am I right to be ...

A.   23 June 2019: This is your JOB, it isn’t a hobby. You earn a living from this so it’s absolutely outrageous for him to even suggest you do this for free. Even HE isn’t entitled to free haircuts. I wouldn’t even dream of expecting a service for free from one of my ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend and my friend/roommate are way too close for comfort! Should I be concerned and who should I be upset with?

Q.   I've been seeing this this young girl for couple months now. Very passionate with each other sex is great! She says I love you and so do I and I do love her.we started out as friends.. anyway, recently I moved in with my friend into a two-bedroom ...

A.   22 June 2019: I think the thing you need to be considering here is whether this relationship actually has any potential. You’ve been together months and she’s already breaking up with you over things? Does that honestly sound like the foundation of a good ... (read in full...)

Why does a man with a perfect girlfriend still feel the need to have sex with someone else?

Q.   I'd like to know WHY a man can have sex with two women at the same time? I don't mean a threesome. But having two sexual relationships concurrently. One of the relationships is with a woman he's been with for 6 years and he supposedly loves...

A.   22 June 2019: Why are you making it out like the issue is with the GF? The fact of the matter is that the guy is a cheating piece of shit, it’s very straight forward. It’s not about the GF not being enough, it’s the guy who is a selfish idiot who thinks with his ... (read in full...)

Am I right in just leaving him to it?

Q.   Hi all I’ve asked for advice before the same guy and found it really helpful so I was wondering if I could run this passed you also x So ... basically work together sometimes , he split from wife six months ago after bad times ... started se...

A.   22 June 2019: If he was interested he would show it. Forget about this one and try to stick to dating people OUTSIDE the workplace, it rarely ends well.... (read in full...)

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