New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login236773 questions, 1040515 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*91 agony aunt

*91

United Kingdom  (Male   XML/RSS

Like what he writes?
... Add *91 to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *91 a private message

*91's Ratings

Rating: 8.04

Excellent75%
Average8%
Poor17%
*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

Latest articles:

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [32 pages, 1224 answers]

I'm dating someone new but don't think I'm over my ex. Should I let the new guy go?

Q.   I am 28, In November I was dumped through whatsapp by my ex who I was madly in love with I was only with him for 4 months but I felt so much love for him after one month I got pregnant and had a n abortion and it totally messed me up as o didn't ...

A.   26 March 2017: If you're not ready, you're not ready. You need to work on yourself first and get rid of any issues and doubt you have.... (read in full...)

Going silent on me after I asked him how he felt about me by telling me he would talk to me when he is ready.

Q.   Hi. I don't know what to make of my bf's behavior. I asked him a week and a half ago ago who he felt about me, because we are in a long distance relationship and do not get to see one another very often. I don't know how he feels about me, th...

A.   26 March 2017: It's a manipulation tactic in my eyes, makes you feel like you're in the wrong and on edge waiting for a response. Keeps you wondering what's going on and you're wanting to please him.... (read in full...)

Please confirm my doubts

Q.   I've been with my bf for 2.5yrs (living with him 1.7yrs).I've noticed that on his Facebook, he has lots of females "friends" (as he calls). I haven't used FB and had shut it down years ago as I prefer Linkedin. His account has been open to me but ...

A.   25 March 2017: My question for you, what is making you stay?... (read in full...)

Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry

Q.   My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...

A.   25 March 2017: well if you think he's going to cheat again you're on a long, slippery slope. You can't live thinking he's going to cheat. Either suck it up or go ahead with the break up. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry

Q.   My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...

A.   25 March 2017: No, massively over reacting. This is to do with HIS JOB. Maybe if he was out with his friends at a strip club you would have a case. The fact that you're willing to leave him over this makes you sound like a child yet you're in the 36-40 age ca... (read in full...)

Her past bothers me, though I do like our sex life!

Q.   Hey guys, I've been dating a girl for a few months and it's going really great, but her past has come up more than a few times (mainly by me) her lifestyle bothers me a bit she's 22 and loves to club. Has had 12 sexual partners her last dude wa...

A.   25 March 2017: Have you had sex before her or were you a virgin? If not, why shouldn't she leave you?? Everyone has a past, if you're truly willing to give up what you have because she has sexual history before you then I'm sorry but you're an idiot. You... (read in full...)

We are really close friends but I want more!

Q.   I really need some help. For the last 2 and a half years I've been crazy about this girl. We have known each other for years, and are extremely close friends. Over the last couple of years, we've been close to becoming more than friends a few times. ...

A.   18 March 2017: There was a pretty much identical question to this asked a few days ago it's the same country, gender and age group which doesn't happen a great deal these days anymore, apologies for assuming. If you insist on being in each other's lives then the... (read in full...)

We are really close friends but I want more!

Q.   I really need some help. For the last 2 and a half years I've been crazy about this girl. We have known each other for years, and are extremely close friends. Over the last couple of years, we've been close to becoming more than friends a few times. ...

A.   18 March 2017: You asked about this already. You won't get different answers. If you were going to become something it would of happened in that 2.5 years. Don't kid yourself man. You need to end the friendship or you will never get over her, sure it sucks an... (read in full...)

I fear I'll regret breaking up with him

Q.   I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...

A.   17 March 2017: That is NOT your problem. He is manipulating you. If you have evidence of him saying this then show it to the police so that he can get the help he needs, this is not for you to deal with.... (read in full...)

I said "I love you" but he's not at that point and now I'm hurt/confused and wondering if I should break things off

Q.   About two weeks ago, I found myself (regrettably) drunk after a super fun night out with a group of friends and my boyfriend, who I have been seeing for nearly 6 moths. The BF very sweetly took care of getting me to my house, getting me into my ...

A.   16 March 2017: I think you're overreacting massively. He's not at the same stage as you, so what? He's told you he doesn't want to break up, he's just doesn't love you yet. Some people take a very long time to get to that stage, I don't think it's very likely f... (read in full...)

When would be the appropriate time to block my ex on social media?

Q.   Dear Aunts, This isn't a major issue. The thing is, I have half a mind to block my ex on facebook. Because I hate him so much and would like to erase from my mind I had him in my life. I'm happy and single now but sometimes I feel very angry when ...

A.   12 March 2017: This second? Just do it, remove him from your life.... (read in full...)

Why cry? Was she feeling guilty? My LDR is currently studying overseas. She has started a new friendship there but promised me that they would not have full sex

Q.   Hello guys, My gf is studying abroad currently in a relationship with someone else, we were arguing cause i was asking how far their relationship is. The sex) She promised she wont have sex with her current BF but then when i asked if she did to h...

A.   12 March 2017: I didn't read what you were asking properly. Thing is who cares why she was crying? She is a cheater, forget about her and move on.... (read in full...)

Why cry? Was she feeling guilty? My LDR is currently studying overseas. She has started a new friendship there but promised me that they would not have full sex

Q.   Hello guys, My gf is studying abroad currently in a relationship with someone else, we were arguing cause i was asking how far their relationship is. The sex) She promised she wont have sex with her current BF but then when i asked if she did to h...

A.   12 March 2017: Dude are you being serious? She is cheating on you, this is a lost cause, stop wasting your time. If you even attempt to fight to save things then you are allowing yourself to be treated like a doormat.... (read in full...)

What is wrong with my boyfriend? our conversations on the phone lapse into silence

Q.   I'm so frustrated! What is wrong with my boyfriend? He likes to be on the phone with me but has nothing to say. It will literally be silent for half an hour and it annoys me so much to hold the phone and listen to dead air like that. When I t...

A.   12 March 2017: Surely you're not seriously on the phone for half an hour in silence...what a waste of both of your time if you do. Why would you even want to be on the phone for that long? All you need is a 5 minute catch up and surely that is enough. Do yo... (read in full...)

Is this normal? I have never been so happy about ending a relationship.

Q.   Hello. I have a very short question for those who have enough knowledge about star signs(if you don't you may google info). Short story: I am a capricorn female (21) my boyfriend (now ex) is a Pisces (23). Our relationship was full of drama bu...

A.   12 March 2017: Where do star signs come into it? Not that it matters as they're completely made up. Why wouldn't you feel relieved? He was messing you around and now you're free from it, be glad you feel this way, make the most of it and be happy whilst moving f... (read in full...)

He said we should just let things go. What did I do wrong?

Q.   I have been seeing this guy for 4 months now and everything has been going on just fine , we never really labelled what we were but he made sure that we hang out a lot and talk a lot. We met on tinder and at first I used to cancel until we actually...

A.   9 March 2017: Agree with the others. I'd be extremely pissed off if I kept getting cancelled on and would eventually call it a day too. If you're busy, DONT make plans, it's very simple. I'm not surprised he has said he doesn't want to see you anymore.... (read in full...)

I want the relationship to work. What are your opinions on flirting/ making inappropriate comments to another female while the guy is in a relationship?

Q.   Please guys only (ps if advice is just shouldnt be together please do not respond. I want to make this work) Okay so guys. What are your opinions on flirting/ making inappropriate comments to another female while in a relationship. ...

A.   8 March 2017: I agree with YCBS. Why would you ask us for advice but only want what you want to hear? If he's openly telling other girls he would f**k them, i don't think he would stop at inappropriate comments and I'm pretty sure he would hop into bed wit... (read in full...)

Is it wrong of me to use him for sex?

Q.   So there's this guy that fancied me. I sleep with him but don't have no feelings. Is it wrong of me using him for sex when he wants more ...

A.   6 March 2017: Yes, especially when you know how he feels.... (read in full...)

Why is he so hard to get to know?

Q.   So this is a little bit of a head messer (for me anyway) So there's a guy I really like we know each other from social media and hears the thing. I message him and sometimes he replies sometimes he don't. We share a match in music taste. ...

A.   5 March 2017: I've seen you post about this 2 or 3 times now and you've got the same answers everytime. He is NOT INTERESTED. If he was he would of jumped at the chance of going out for a drink with you. Stop wasting your time and find someone who want... (read in full...)

Is he "distancing" himself because he likes me or because he doesn't?

Q.   I've been talking to a guy for nearly eight months. He lives 200 miles away and we met through a mutual friend (his ex, who I'm not close to and they've been split up a year). We were constantly texting every single day during this time and in the ...

A.   4 March 2017: I don't think it's a bootycall, it just sounds like he enjoys being your friend.... (read in full...)

Could this girl be interested in me?

Q.   I stop at this petrol station sometimes. The past two, three times there's been a nice young girl there, and as at the times I go there it's not that busy, we have a chat. Somehow we got on to the topic of massages. I said that my massages may be ...

A.   4 March 2017: Yeah I don't think that meant interest, more like wtf. If you want to find out if she's keen, ask her out instead of offering massages to strangers.... (read in full...)

Garment crisis in the carpark

Q.   Hello everyone, My husband and i work in the same company different departments . So i just came from ethiopia to USA and i am experiencing cultural shocks! so the other day there is a fire alarm at work and all co-workers had to stay outside in ...

A.   4 March 2017: Sounds like he was offended that you refused his offer but accepted someone else's. refusing to speak to you for days is childish and him swearing at you is a big no no. You shouldn't have to be spoken to like that.... (read in full...)

Is he "distancing" himself because he likes me or because he doesn't?

Q.   I've been talking to a guy for nearly eight months. He lives 200 miles away and we met through a mutual friend (his ex, who I'm not close to and they've been split up a year). We were constantly texting every single day during this time and in the ...

A.   4 March 2017: He's not interested. Being 'flattered' isnt a good response to telling someone you like them. He's basically saying 'thanks, but no thanks'. I'd say you're wasting your time, cut your losses and find someone closer.... (read in full...)

How do I stop falling in love with my best friend?

Q.   I'm in love with my best friend at college. He's not your average stud bit of a stoner, very clever and it nerdy but probably THE funniest guy I have ever met, I could be having a really shit time and I'd talk to him for like 2 minutes and he puts a ...

A.   24 February 2017: As long as you're friends you will not get over him. If I were you I'd just tell him that you need to back away from him for a while as you've developed feelings for him. This way he doesn't think you're being off with him and it also may make... (read in full...)

Should I message her on facebook, or should I just leave it?

Q.   I went out on monday night for a student night and I met this really nice girl where we danced. I bought her a drink. She had a friend who was dancing with my friend but he left somewhere and I ended up going to see one of my other friends, but I sa...

A.   22 February 2017: What do you have to lose?... (read in full...)

I can't get in contact with my love who has moved on to another country. How can I deal with his absence?

Q.   This boy that I have fallen in love with has moved to Spain and I have no way of getting in touch with him. Although he is back in summer but that's 5 months away. I'm worried he might find another girl whilst he's there and everyday I worry an...

A.   22 February 2017: He clearly doesn't love you, he left without telling you. Forget about him and find someone who feels the same way that you feel about them.... (read in full...)

I don't want to hurt my girlfriend but after 3 years I am not sure that I want to be with her

Q.   How can i break up with my girlfriend? Im not sure if i even want to. We have been together for three years. We have been having problems recently. She told me she was not sure where we were going, that we were stuck in the same old patterns doing ...

A.   21 February 2017: She will be hurt no matter what, but if you're not happy you're not happy, what can you do besides break up? Don't prolong it acting like things are fine if they aren't. ... (read in full...)

A straight friend wants to have sex with me. Should I?

Q.   Hi.i have a friend who i would like to have sex with.he is straight i am gay. What should i do?ahead thanks....

A.   21 February 2017: Loveforever, Please enlighten us to where the OP describes anything you mentioned. ... (read in full...)

I fear rejection. Could his actions be a sign that he only wants sex, and nothing more serious ?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for some time now and it has been amazing and I utterly admire him but the thing is I don't know what we are. He is all sweet and kind and all touchy and shows affections when I'm with him even in public, he is very playful,...

A.   20 February 2017: The thing is with younger people these days that they want things to be much more casual. I think it's pretty rare for the male to bring up the 'what are we?' Talk, so unless you do I don't think you're ever going to find out. If you ask and he d... (read in full...)

How can I talk to them about this? What can I do about my boyfriend and my best friend? He hangs out with her when I'm not present

Q.   My best friend and I are very different people and we get on really well, even though I no longer see her very often. We have been friends for years. A year ago I helped her get close to a guy she liked who I liked at the same time. Things did...

A.   19 February 2017: I agree thinking it's really odd behaviour. I always go with the philosophy of if you have to keep something secret then you probably shouldn't be doing it. Your BF and best friend meeting up and saying it was easier to not tell you seems really s... (read in full...)

How do I cope with a gambling addicted boyfriend?

Q.   How do I cope with a gambling addicted boyfriend? My partner of 2 years started gambling a lot about 2/3 months into the relationship. Ive tried my hardest to support and understand this problem ive offered to go to counciling with him or pointed ...

A.   19 February 2017: If he's not willing to work on his addiction then you've already lost. This isn't your problem and I understand that you want to help him but this isn't for you to do. Sounds like he doesn't even realise he has an addiction if he's continui... (read in full...)

Is he right to be annoyed? He was asleep, while I watched porn. He said that what I did was a form of cheating

Q.   Okay so My boyfriend always takes the mick out of me that I want sex too much. I do like it every day but I don't think that's a problem.. Anyway, that's not the issue. Last night he fell asleep when he knew I was horny, which isn't reall...

A.   17 February 2017: It's definitely not a form of cheating so I wouldn't listen to that accusation. If you openly declare that you'd like to have sex because you're horny and he declines he doesn't have a leg to stand on in regards to you taking care of it yourself... (read in full...)

I'm still a virgin with no dating experience at age 26, and I'm starting to feel like something must be wrong with me. Advice?

Q.   I am 26 and am a virgin, have never had a boyfriend, nor have a I really ever dated. I have always just assumed that things would happen in their own time, and I have had two brief and non official experiences with boys (one for a few months at uni ...

A.   17 February 2017: Stop worrying. I'm 25 years old and never had a girlfriend either and I'm genuinely not bothered in the slightest. What's bothering you so much about it? Having not met the one by this point in your life isn't important, you're very young still in... (read in full...)

I like older guys. He was respectful to me. But then his decision to ejaculate on my face bothered me. Were his actions out of line?

Q.   I'm attracted to older men and that's what I normally date. I met this guy recently. He's 34. After exchanging texts for a while, we went out. It went really well. We had great conversation. There was chemistry between us. It was great all around. I ...

A.   16 February 2017: I don't think it's a red flag, it's just something you don't enjoy. You weren't to know he was going to do it so I wouldn't beat yourself up over it, but if I were you I'd tell him that you didn't like it and don't want it to happen again.... (read in full...)

A straight friend wants to have sex with me. Should I?

Q.   Hi.i have a friend who i would like to have sex with.he is straight i am gay. What should i do?ahead thanks....

A.   16 February 2017: And how do you plan on going about that? That would be like asking a vegan to eat a burger. Not going to happen is it? Has this guy given you ANY indications that he may be interested in sex with you or have you just made this decision?... (read in full...)

How can I find out if we are more than friends?

Q.   I have known this guy for about 7 years now; we were good friends at uni but then we lost touch when we graduated. We recently reconnected at a mutual friends wedding, and have been messaging on and off ever since. For the past couple of months, we ...

A.   15 February 2017: Well you want more than a friendship that's quite clear so would you rather live being friends forever and watch him get together with other girls or take the leap and ask him out and potentially be something more? Life is far too short not to t... (read in full...)

It's been impossible to move on from my ex. He's in a relationship now, yet is concurrently sending me texts. What should I do?

Q.   im in need of advice, I am being confused with random contact from my ex. my ex and I have been on and off for years. Four to five months ago he disappeared to date someone else, broke my heart. i was always the one wanted to get back together an...

A.   14 February 2017: You'll never get over him unless you block him. He doesn't want you to forget about it and he's doing a good job of it. Hes not worth your time, block him and move on.... (read in full...)

Should I just enjoy our FWB relationship as it is?

Q.   I got out of an 8 year relationship last year, and recently I signed up for tinder with the intent of finding a FWB. I went on dates with a few guys, but the first guy I hit it off with so well, I couldn't bring myself to pursue any of the other...

A.   14 February 2017: Tell him. It's really not worth getting in over your head developing even deeper feelings because you don't want to say anything and 'spoil' it. Believe me I've been there. Get it off your chest, maybe he feels the same. If not you have your an... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's grandmother died, should I go to the funeral?

Q.   My boyfriend of 2 years grandma recently passed away. He's asking me to go to a funeral with him to comefort him. I told him I would feel out of place and not comefortable because I never really knew his grandma or other relatives besides his ...

A.   14 February 2017: This is for your BF, he's asked you to be there for him and I'm pretty sure at some point down the line you will ask him to return the favour for something and be there for you. ... (read in full...)

I like him, it's been 5 months but there seems to be no initiative from his side

Q.   I met a guy a few months ago who started flirting with me. I did not like him to begin but then we got talking and I saw a really handsome interesting person. The flirting continued and I cold feel some chemistry between us, A few weeks later ...

A.   13 February 2017: Yeah he's not interested. Who takes 5 months to ask someone on a date if they like them? Whenever I'm interested in a girl, depending on how the conversation flows I tend to put it out of in the open within the first 2 weeks that I see them in ... (read in full...)

I fear I'll regret breaking up with him

Q.   I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...

A.   9 February 2017: Wow, you need to leave IMMEDIATELY. This will not get better. He's lowered your confidence to a point where you feel like you can't cope without him. Who gives a fuck if he apologised?? That is assault and against the law, this is only going to... (read in full...)

I fear I'll regret breaking up with him

Q.   I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...

A.   20 November 2016: Stop letting him guilt trip you. Whatever he does is his own problem, staying with him for the sake of things is worse that breaking up with him imo. He's a wreck and a very weak person. He needs to emotionally blackmail you to stay with him. You... (read in full...)

I fear I'll regret breaking up with him

Q.   I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...

A.   19 November 2016: Listen, he is manipulating you. You're not happy with this guy and you know you're not, you're not doing anything wrong. You guys just aren't a good match for each other and the very fact that he's threatening to kill himself shows he's mentally ... (read in full...)

I fear I'll regret breaking up with him

Q.   I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...

A.   15 November 2016: You need to leave this guy, threatening to cut himself is NOT normal behaviour. He's saying you're overweight and need to change for HIM to want to stay with YOU. If I had a girlfriend who dropped anything like that on me I'd be out the door and... (read in full...)

I fear I'll regret breaking up with him

Q.   I want to break up with my boyfriend of 2 years but I'm worried I'll regret it. I love him a lot and I don't even know if this is the right choice or not. He's nice sometimes and used to make me happy all of the time for the first year, but now ...

A.   11 November 2016: I'm not sure what you'll regret about breaking up with this guy. You'll find another boyfriend one day that loves everything about you and you'll look back on this guy and think what an absolute asshole, as that's what he sounds like.... (read in full...)

*91's friends

These are mutual friends, so *91 has added them and they have added *91!

02DuszJ agony aunt02DuszJ
101010 agony aunt101010
aavon82 agony auntaavon82
Abella agony auntAbella
AbigailBradbury agony auntAbigailBradbury
Anaya agony auntAnaya
Andie's Thoughts agony auntAndie's Thoughts
bearN agony auntbearN
Beatriceandjohn  agony auntBeatriceandjohn
cheekymonkeyx agony auntcheekymonkeyx
Chiamaka agony auntChiamaka
Cutless agony auntCutless
Daller agony auntDaller
Eagle'sfan1986 agony auntEagle'sfan1986
Elliematthews33 agony auntElliematthews33
gv agony auntgv
Human jimi agony auntHuman jimi
jacinth haisha agony auntjacinth haisha
jadedpearl agony auntjadedpearl
jc2008 agony auntjc2008
kacy tomson agony auntkacy tomson
kelvin1357 agony auntkelvin1357
Kirstyteenauntireland agony auntKirstyteenauntireland
KlassyKirsty agony auntKlassyKirsty
londonmiss agony auntlondonmiss
mandygirl2011 agony auntmandygirl2011
manoul  agony auntmanoul
MarlonT agony auntMarlonT
meltwo agony auntmeltwo
MissTellAll agony auntMissTellAll
mystiquek agony auntmystiquek
N91 agony auntN91
NennaHB agony auntNennaHB
newgia667 agony auntnewgia667
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
oliviaclairex agony auntoliviaclairex
Otubma agony auntOtubma
PhiliGirl agony auntPhiliGirl
Pre Smith agony auntPre Smith
PrincessRiches agony auntPrincessRiches
ScaredForLove agony auntScaredForLove
ShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou agony auntShakeWutUrMamaGaveYou
Shanah98 agony auntShanah98
Simply Jane2011 agony auntSimply Jane2011
snooki2 agony auntsnooki2
some random latina agony auntsome random latina
StarryEyes101 agony auntStarryEyes101
sweet_lover101 agony auntsweet_lover101
themusicgoddess19 agony auntthemusicgoddess19
when nothing goes right go left agony auntwhen nothing goes right go left
wrathykins agony auntwrathykins
Y_v agony auntY_v

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.312499199993908!