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*91

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*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

Latest articles:

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [34 pages, 1301 answers]

I've been with my boyfriend 2.5 years and never had sex. I think he's in love with his ex

Q.   Hi. I am 56years old and my boyfriend is 55. I have been with him for 2 1/2years. Lived with him for 14 months out of that time. He has never made love to me although he says he loves me. I also found out, reading his own words that right before ...

A.   30 April 2017: Is this really better than being on your own? Being left sexually unsatisfied whilst being expected to perform sexual favours and possibly being cheated on. Come on, have some self respect and break up with this man. ... (read in full...)

Why does my wife lie about her sexual past? I overheard a convo she had with a friend. Should I tell her?

Q.   I have been married for many years my wife had a couple of sex partners before we met. She always said that when she was with the them that they didn't have a lot of sex which would not have bothered me if she did. My problem came up as we talked ...

A.   30 April 2017: Of course not. What good would come of that conversation? What positive outcome could you possibly have in your head? Your wife was doing YOU a favour. Sparing your insecurities, but unfortunately you overhead it. Just let it go. You've said ... (read in full...)

What is going on with his ex? What should I do?

Q.   Hi everyone, some of u may remember me from my past questions.. Ill give a little background info. Around october i was really active on this site, I'm 19 years old (now 20) and i was in a really toxic relationship with a 35 year old man.. It was...

A.   28 April 2017: It's very obvious he's a waste of time. Block him, remove him from your life. You know he's a let down and he isn't going to change for you. Move forwards without him.... (read in full...)

He went to a strip club, I went to see male dancers and an "eye for an eye" isn't feeling good right now

Q.   I feel like the back story is needed (see below). But, my question is how do I let go of the fact my boyfriend went to a strip club TWO nights in a row while on business? I eneded up going to a male strip club for a girls night recently, now I'm ...

A.   28 April 2017: You're not 12 years old so stop acting like it. If you really can't get over it, break up with him. You know he doesn't regret it so you're not going to make him feel bad about it, but by then going and rubbing his face in it sounds a little c... (read in full...)

How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?

Q.   Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...

A.   28 April 2017: He will think 'Great, my wife is very adventurous in bed. My gosh hasn't this sex improved'. You said it yourself it is 'Standard'. But the thing is, YOU are holding it back by the sound of things. I really don't think your husband would complain... (read in full...)

How would men feel if they joked about something sexual and their partner said yes?

Q.   Before I start, let me just say, I am not a woman of the world. I didn't lose my virginity until my wedding night, aged 24. Me and my husband have been married 12 years now and are still very much in love. The problem is our sex life. It is very ...

A.   28 April 2017: He will think 'Great, my wife is very adventurous in bed. My gosh hasn't this sex improved'. You said it yourself it is 'Standard'. But the thing is, YOU are holding it back by the sound of things. I really don't think your husband would complain... (read in full...)

Where do I stand in this relationship? What can I say to him to get the answers I need? 2

Q.   So I've been talking/meeting this guy since last May, which is nearly a year ! He says he doesn't want to rush into a relationship because his last girlfriend cheated on him. And he tells me to be patient for a relationship because he will have to...

A.   26 April 2017: He's feeding you bulls*it and your buying it. Nobody takes a year to decide whether they want to be in a relationship with someone. My guess is he's speaking to multiple girls and he's keeping you at arms length. If he wanted to be your boyfr... (read in full...)

Am I cheating on my boyfriend? ? Hope not.

Q.   Am I cheating on my boyfriend!! I downloaded tinder to relook at my old profile which he knew about and I used it for a couple of days and got chatting to one Man for a while. Little thing or anything but i dont any feeling toward him ! But ...

A.   26 April 2017: Have you tried communicating with your boyfriend? How could he possibly know how you feel without you telling him? Delete tinder and dont use it anymore. ... (read in full...)

Is he cheating on me if he's flirting in public with other girls? Should I kiss him for the first time at the party?

Q.   hey guys i need some help. I am dating this boy that i have strong feelings for. But recently I see him flirting with some other girls like playing around, like poking their stomach,laughing,and talking a lot to each other in front of me knowing w...

A.   26 April 2017: If he cared he wouldn't be touching other girls. Wouldn't waste your time on this one.... (read in full...)

His feelings for me changed so quickly!

Q.   Can someone's feeling for you change in two months? My ex and I broke up in September 2015. We didn't speak for 4 months then out of the blue one day he texted me. We started talking, and hanging out as just friends. We talked about stuff like...

A.   25 April 2017: He got bored of his relationship and wanted to sleep with you, pretty simple. If he wanted to marry you then why is he marrying someone else? He fed you some bulls*it to sleep with him and you fell for it hook, line and sinker.... (read in full...)

Should I not have told him how I feel?

Q.   Is it wrong to say how you feel? I've posted before about how a good friend of mine ignores and doesn't reply when something goes wrong and never makes an effort to initiate conversations after an argument. We hooked up a couple of times ...

A.   25 April 2017: The real question is why are you wasting your time on this guy? I don't see what you're getting out of this 'friendship'. All you do is get ignored, get mad and then tell him you're annoyed. What's the point? Forget about him, block him and move... (read in full...)

I need to tell him I only want casual sex, not a relationship!

Q.   I met this guy on a dating app and we have been on two dates so far. I don't think he and I are compatible but he's very nice and good-looking. I cannot see a long-term relationship forming from this AT ALL, but would like to turn it into FWB if it ...

A.   25 April 2017: If you want a FWB from this, then tell him, ask him if it's something he's interested in. Maybe that's all he wants also, you will never know until you talk about it. Just be straight up with him, if you've enjoyed the dates then let him know and... (read in full...)

Should I be mad because my friend helped get me fired?

Q.   I was working with this girl K and my friend L and her friend C. Our boss LO, was always ingrained in L's life calling and texting her, and L asked me to make him stop with the text messages. After a while I discovered that LO was spreading rumors ...

A.   25 April 2017: Why did you get fired exactly? What kind of place of work is this where your boss talks about you behind your back? I'd be looking into legal action if you've been unlawfully fired, never mind wondering who to be mad at.... (read in full...)

My g/f hasn't changed her status on FB yet does that mean we are not broken up?

Q.   My fiancé and I have been together for almost three years and engaged for 7 months. I wrongly accused her of having a 'thing' for her brother in law a few times which has led to us having a 'break' for a few weeks. We reconciled but it took some...

A.   25 April 2017: I know people who didn't change their relationship status for weeks after being very much broken up. Facebook doesn't mean anything.... (read in full...)

Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?

Q.   Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite? So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too...

A.   24 April 2017: I'm with honeypie. You knew she did this to earn her money, she isn't going on this site to watch guys jerking off, she's putting on a show to get paid. You're going online to look at other naked females. It's really not the same thing.... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to be more than FWB do I tell him how I feel?

Q.   Hi I've been friends with a guy for 3years the friendship turned to friends with benefits in January he stopped talking to me and now has got back in contact with me he said he stopped talking to me as he had soem family issues which he explained. ...

A.   24 April 2017: To put it into a nutshell, you're barking up the wrong tree. If you two were going to be in a relationship, you would be. You've given him all the benefits of a relationship without the downsides of being in one, why would he change that? Peop... (read in full...)

Is my relationship healthy?

Q.   I am 20 and my boyfriend is 27. We got into a relationship pretty fast. I expressed how not having sex until marriage was important to me but after a month he talked me into it. We have went out a lot and he says things like this relationship...

A.   24 April 2017: If you need to ask this question then youre clearly not ready for it. Sounds like you're doing what he wants to do.... (read in full...)

Do any men have this problem? I cannot orgasm from oral sex

Q.   This has been bothering me for a fair few years. Even more so that my wife has tried to help. I have unfortunately never cum from a blowjob, ever. I think it bothers me so much because i really enjoy them. Its like listening to your favourite s...

A.   24 April 2017: I'm with chigirl. Your brother took your innocence and ruined your childhood and you're doing yourself an injustice by letting him get away with it. I'm sorry you had to experience what you did. Inform the police and get therapy. You sho... (read in full...)

Should my girlfriend be posting photos of the guy she was seeing when we were broken up?

Q.   Hi, Recently broke up with my girlfriend and in our break we both were sexually active. The girl I slept with is around at all but the guy is as he's her friend. We got back together recently and she still posts photos of her with him and usually ...

A.   24 April 2017: Yeah I think this relationship has run its course also. Breaks Only occur in dead relationships. How can breaking up for a short while and sleeping with someone else save your relationship? Makes absolutely no sense whatsoever to me. There's... (read in full...)

Have I finally caught his interest.... is he into me

Q.   Okay so I've posted a few times on here about this dude, similar taste in music etc You guys always responded with his not interested but things have progressed. First he took interest in one of my old hobbies then he disappeared for a while....

A.   23 April 2017: Who knows what he's thinking. He may like you, he may see you as a friend, we can't answer that. Just go with it and see what happens. Good luck... (read in full...)

I keep thinking that married life is the happily ever after and I feel very insecure about being single

Q.   I'm feeling insecure by comparing my life to other peoples'. I am very happy with my life. I'm living abroad, I living the adventure I always dreamed of. Then I see my friends back home who are moving in with their partners, so in love, getting ...

A.   22 April 2017: I'm 25 and never had a relationship. It doesn't bother me in the slightest as I'm free to do whatever I want while I'm still young and I think you should try to look at it from that perspective too. You have your whole life ahead of you, it's not... (read in full...)

Are there any telltale ways to see if he sees me just as a sister/friend?

Q.   Hey guys, first of all, thanks for stopping by, even if you don't plan on answering. I will cut to the chase: I'm a 20 year old girl, and I really like this 25 year old boy, whom I met over the internet. Our locations are too far away to go see e...

A.   21 April 2017: If you're never going to meet then why are you even wasting your time? Even if he does see you in a romantic way what can you do over the Internet?... (read in full...)

Do you think a relationship can form out of our FWB situation?

Q.   Hi Im in a fwb setup with a friend for the past one year.he ended the setup twice in this year for a couple of months and now it started again. Recently he had brought up the topic of where i saw myself 5 years from now..been cuddling after th...

A.   21 April 2017: At the end of the day he's still a human being. He enjoys your company. I've been in a fwb that didn't end in a relationship with someone that I liked, but she still acted like you described in your post. You'd have to be seriously cold hearted ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend doesn't make any real effort to lose weight despite wanting to

Q.   I've been in relationship with my girlfriend for about 7 months now. I liked her for her personality and character but her weight had always bothered me right from the start. She was actually slim just under 2 year back(she looked amazing) but gai...

A.   21 April 2017: Yeah, I'm with the other posters about her weight not being an issue. YOU are SERIOUSLY underweight. I'm 1.75m and weigh 82kg. Maybe you need to hit the gym, how do you know she doesn't think youre too skinny? ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self?

Q.   Is it wrong to tell someone who has depression that you can't be there for then anymore if they don't want to help the self? My boyfriend has depression which is not diagnosed but I've had it previously and know he does now. I've done everything I ...

A.   21 April 2017: No, it's good that you've realised this before he starts to drag you down with him. If he won't seek help there's nothing at all you can do for him I'm afraid.... (read in full...)

Do you think a relationship can form out of our FWB situation?

Q.   Hi Im in a fwb setup with a friend for the past one year.he ended the setup twice in this year for a couple of months and now it started again. Recently he had brought up the topic of where i saw myself 5 years from now..been cuddling after th...

A.   20 April 2017: This is not going anywhere. He has very clearly told you he doesn't see you as a suitable girlfriend.... (read in full...)

Why do girls do things that make them unapproachable and rude?

Q.   Why do girls always have to be glued to each other or have their noses in their phones or in a book? Don't they realize that makes them unapproachable and that it's just plain rude? Also, they do the same things on dates too and act rudely just to ...

A.   20 April 2017: What are you classing as being sweet? I don't think people would call you a stalker for no reason. You draw girls that are taken? You just walk around drawing girls? This is a very odd question that I can't really make Sense of.... (read in full...)

Do I call this married man?

Q.   I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...

A.   20 April 2017: You can leave him alone, very easily. Block his number and you can't contact him, problem solved. You just DONT want to stop contacting him. This man will NEVER leave his wife for you, so what exactly could you gain from this arrangement? You... (read in full...)

Toxic, controlling, abusive and violent relationship. But I do love him. Plus I recently cheated. What should I do?

Q.   I met my current partner 3 years ago, we were dating and then I moved into his place and sub letted my place to my sister as she had moved to London. At the time, three years ago, when I met my partner, my grandad had just passed away and my dad w...

A.   19 April 2017: This is exactly what abusers do 'I will change, it won't happen again' No, it won't happen at all from someone who loves you. Don't let him sucker you back in, you will regret it.... (read in full...)

I stumbled across hidden videos in my girlfriends computer of her having sex with her ex

Q.   I am engaged to my dream girl and our relationship is perfect. We've been together for 2 years now and We are the perfect couple... or so I thought.. Things changed when I found some things on her lap top. I needed to finish up a report but forgo...

A.   19 April 2017: I'm with the other posters, you need to talk to her or you will be driven mad. Get her side of the story and maybe you can move past it.... (read in full...)

A week after losing my beloved dog, my partner wants to split up with me

Q.   4 weeks ago my gorgeous staffy died. She was 15 years old. I got her from rescue when she was 18 months old. I am still heartbroken over her death. I knew it was coming as she hadn't been herself for a while and she was on steroids. I had to get ...

A.   18 April 2017: Can this be salvaged? Is he willing to talk and fight or is his mind made up? If he will talk communicate clearly to deal with the problem as soon as possible. If he's made his mind up then you need to let him go and remove all forms of contact so ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend travels constantly and has friends and family he refuses to let me meet

Q.   I'm 44 years old, my boyfriend is 53. We have been dating for 4 years now. He has 2 jobs. One job has fee flying perks. So far in 4 years he has gone to Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, he went to Las Vegas and ...

A.   18 April 2017: Already taken*... (read in full...)

Boyfriend travels constantly and has friends and family he refuses to let me meet

Q.   I'm 44 years old, my boyfriend is 53. We have been dating for 4 years now. He has 2 jobs. One job has fee flying perks. So far in 4 years he has gone to Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, he went to Las Vegas and ...

A.   18 April 2017: My guess is he's always taken and you're a little secret. I don't know many girlfriends that haven't met their bfs family and friends after 4 years. Especially when he flat out rejects letting you meet them. It can't be too soon as an excuse e... (read in full...)

He pressured me for sex, even started undressing me. But disappeared when I revealed my status as a virgin!

Q.   I went for a few dates with a guy. He was very insitent about sex but everytime I refused him he was ok and still wanted more dates with me. He tried to get me at his place after our very first date and at our second too, but i refused. However we ...

A.   18 April 2017: This guy is an asshole. You are lucky that you DID tell him you're a Virgin so that he pissed off and left you alone. He is an absolute sex pest and I'm 99.9% sure the second you gave it up you wouldn't hear from him again anyways. A perso... (read in full...)

Should work always come first for my boyfriend, even in case of a minor medical emergency like mine?

Q.   My boyfriend of one year works from home. We live together. He's the project manager of a small but successful company. He works at least 10 hours a day. I had severe stomach pains yesterday which came back this morning, so my boyfriend took m...

A.   18 April 2017: If he has upset you, tell him. How else could he know how you're feeling unless you tell him?... (read in full...)

I thought my fiance didn't love his ex wife but his old Facebook post seemed to imply otherwise

Q.   I am so disappointed please tell me if I'm over reacting. I found an old post from 6 years ago on my Fiancé face book on his marriage anniversary stating how lucky he was to have her and he hit a jackpot and hope this happiness never ends! I know ...

A.   18 April 2017: I think at some point for then to get to the stage of marriage he must of felt some strong feelings to her even if he denies it. Unless the marriage was for some purpose such as allowing someone to stay in a country they shouldnt be in, then I'm... (read in full...)

I believe I am the one for him. Is his staring at me significant? He likes this other girl who doesn't like him back.

Q.   In school I really like this boy who is my best friend's ex. He always stares at me and told my friend I was pretty but he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back. I really want to talk to him and make him realize that I am the one for him....

A.   15 April 2017: I think I phrased that incorrectly. I dont mean always choose friends to be correct over partners as that's not always the case, I meant it as it's not worth losing a best friend over a partner if they've already been together.... (read in full...)

I believe I am the one for him. Is his staring at me significant? He likes this other girl who doesn't like him back.

Q.   In school I really like this boy who is my best friend's ex. He always stares at me and told my friend I was pretty but he likes this other girl who doesn't like him back. I really want to talk to him and make him realize that I am the one for him....

A.   15 April 2017: You don't go after best friends exes. Friends Partners ALWAYS ... (read in full...)

Can this very complex relationship work?

Q.   Ok so to start with I'm in a fairly new relationship with a girl who I do care quite a lot for and I feel this relationship is worth persevering with. When we are together things are really great. Since the beginning we seem to be very comforta...

A.   15 April 2017: Id say no. It doesn't sound like you're happy with the level of communication and if this is only the start of the relationship I can't see it getting any better. This is the honeymoon period and you're already having problems. If I were you I'd ... (read in full...)

Toxic, controlling, abusive and violent relationship. But I do love him. Plus I recently cheated. What should I do?

Q.   I met my current partner 3 years ago, we were dating and then I moved into his place and sub letted my place to my sister as she had moved to London. At the time, three years ago, when I met my partner, my grandad had just passed away and my dad w...

A.   13 April 2017: I read the title and said 'Leave'. I then gave it the benefit of the doubt and started reading. Got to 'he started hitting me' and said 'Leave' again. You're right, there is something there, probably your cause of death.... (read in full...)

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