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*91

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*91's profile:

"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't"

"Resentment is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die".

'If you're going through hell, keep going'

Latest articles:

Thank you DC!

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

23 October 2016: Hello to everyone of Dearcupid, I'd just like to say a massive thank you to everyone I've ever come into contact both receiving help from or giving help to over the time that I've used this website. I first started using DC back in 2011, w...

Why not everyone we find ourselves emotionally invested in is made for us

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

14 August 2016: I watched a film a few days ago you may of heard of, '500 days of summer'. I had it recommended to me by a friend who knew of the bizarre situation I was in with a girl I know. I thought a rom com isn't really my idea of fun but thought what the ...

1234567891011Next > [29 pages, 1105 answers]

He says my body is his.

Q.   My partner of 3 yrs and i have a beautiful little girl who is 1. Lately my partner has been trying touching me and trying to penetrate me whilst we are playing with our daughter which i have put a stop to. He has started sayimg he can touch me ...

A.   17 January 2017: If he's only started doing this recently then I don't like to think what path this could lead down. If I were you I'd be taking my child and getting the hell out of there.... (read in full...)

Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?

Q.   I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...

A.   17 January 2017: It is clingy. No matter what spin you try and put on it, he is away on a vacation with his family and you're messaging telling him to reply to basically say tell me you're thinking about me. Where actually is he? He may have no signal. You kno... (read in full...)

What was my colleague's intention?

Q.   Hi there, Looking for advice on how to handle this situation with a colleague at work. I'll start by saying I'm not usually one to assume that everyone is flirting with me or attracted to me. There is a relatively new man at work in quite a high u...

A.   17 January 2017: Question is, does it matter? You have a boyfriend.... (read in full...)

I still feel embarrassed 8 months later.

Q.   I expressed interest in guy that I was interested in 8 months ago but he turned me down. I felt disappointed but brushed it off and acted like it was no big deal. However, the long term effect was embarrassment. I thought he was interested in me...

A.   17 January 2017: It won't as long as you keep making it an issue, no. You took a gamble and it didn't pay off, shit happens, that's life. Concentrat on more important things, why are you so embarrassed about it? At least you had the confidence to try it. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend doesn't post us on social media

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been official for about 90 days. I have very few complaints about him- I'm extremely happy. We go out regularly and spend lots of quality time together and go on fun dates. But he has nothing about us posted on social media. ...

A.   17 January 2017: Yes you are being silly. Your boyfriend is being smart not plastering your relationship all over Facebook. The amount of times I've heard the unravelling of relationships because of Facebook and other social media outlooks is ridiculous. He's ... (read in full...)

He ignores me. Feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Is there any hope for this troubled relationship? What should I do?

Q.   What should I do about this relationship?. I will just tell you what happened recently. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year. There have been a lot of times where we have argued. He has a very short fuse. I feel like I am walking on eg...

A.   16 January 2017: Of course you're surprised, how often does a family member of your other half tell you you're too good for them? I have an idea what you can do. Leave him and find someone who doesnt make you feel like this. ... (read in full...)

He ignores me. Feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Is there any hope for this troubled relationship? What should I do?

Q.   What should I do about this relationship?. I will just tell you what happened recently. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year. There have been a lot of times where we have argued. He has a very short fuse. I feel like I am walking on eg...

A.   16 January 2017: He has a short fuse, a drinking problem and purposefully says things to lower your confidence, what a catch, I can see why you want to stay in this relationship. When his own sister is telling you to leave him that's a big red flag. Would you seri... (read in full...)

I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?

Q.   My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...

A.   16 January 2017: Why do you think he's going to cheat? What indicators or signs has he shown? Or are you just that insecure you can't trust him when he's out of your sight? I've been on many holidays with my male friends and never once been tempted to pay for ... (read in full...)

I feel like my boyfriend isn't really committed to me!

Q.   Hi, I'm just looking for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I'm really unhappy. I feel like he isn't really committed to me, I'll give you some examples. He's messaged other girls behind my back and admitted he l...

A.   15 January 2017: So why don't you do as he says and find someone else? How can you build a future with someone who won't discuss it? Are you actually just staying with him because you don't want to be alone? Being alone is better than being in a relationship t... (read in full...)

I get pouty when we are apart and he doesn't text!

Q.   MOD NOTE: 2 Submissions combined. I'm embarrassed to even ask this question, but how often can I expect my BF to text me when we're not together? A little background- we've been together about 4 months. He's very kind, patient, considerate, an...

A.   15 January 2017: Yep fair enough anon that makes sense. I don't have any experience of being in a relationship so I can't really empathise with the poster and female anon, hence why it probably sounded harsh. I do however have experience with clingy and needy fe... (read in full...)

Do I stay with this guy or do I leave?

Q.   Hi. I am needing advice. When I was 18/19 I got engaged to my ex, we were together almost three years. I was 21 when we split. I met my current partner within three months of my ex and I splitting up (my ex cheated and got engaged to s...

A.   15 January 2017: It sounds like you guys are on complete different pages. I'd ask for him to pay back what he owes you and think about if this relationship has a future. You want to travel and he's happy with what he's doing at the moment. You want to be married ... (read in full...)

Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?

Q.   I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...

A.   15 January 2017: He is travelling for god sake! Let the man enjoy it. Do you not have anything to do in your spare time besides sit by your phone and wait for a response? You've told us that it's expensive for him to contact you, yet you're messaging him relentle... (read in full...)

What can do, I am still learning how to negotiate conflict in a relatonship.

Q.   My relationship recently ended with my girlfriend of nearly a year. There was a falling out at my uncle's wedding where my girlfriend was heavily intoxicated and left the dinner table to vent to a bartender about things she did not like about my ...

A.   15 January 2017: Ignore her mother's comments. Her behaviour is nothing to do with you. I think your gf sees this as the only way out of the situation. He's too scared to apologise so has to act like it's your fault for not looking after her whilst she was drunk. ... (read in full...)

I get pouty when we are apart and he doesn't text!

Q.   MOD NOTE: 2 Submissions combined. I'm embarrassed to even ask this question, but how often can I expect my BF to text me when we're not together? A little background- we've been together about 4 months. He's very kind, patient, considerate, an...

A.   15 January 2017: I've just read female anons answer: "Even if he is with friends or busy, that would be an even better time to make sure he lets his girl know he has not forgotten about her. The guy does not have to text non stop or even a novel but a text or ... (read in full...)

I get pouty when we are apart and he doesn't text!

Q.   MOD NOTE: 2 Submissions combined. I'm embarrassed to even ask this question, but how often can I expect my BF to text me when we're not together? A little background- we've been together about 4 months. He's very kind, patient, considerate, an...

A.   15 January 2017: You really need something to fill your time when you're alone. We see this question all the time and personally I think it makes the poster sound so needy and desperate. Why do you need constant communication? You start 'pouting' when he doesn't ... (read in full...)

He is still under her thumb. What can I do?

Q.   Hello, I am slightly put off and rather upset at the moment. I live in a small town with my boyfriend of almost six years, and he... Well he is always dragging me over to his ex's place, making me spend the night, doing all her "to do" lists, and ...

A.   15 January 2017: How long have you been putting up with this? I've never heard of a situation like this before in my life. What kind's of things is he doing with his ex? Fair enough they may be on good terms but I think this is a little overkill. You've explaine... (read in full...)

What was my colleague's intention?

Q.   Hi there, Looking for advice on how to handle this situation with a colleague at work. I'll start by saying I'm not usually one to assume that everyone is flirting with me or attracted to me. There is a relatively new man at work in quite a high u...

A.   15 January 2017: I think he was trying to make it as if he's rejected you rather than the other way around and it seems to of worked. I don't think he's being entirely truthful saying that he's not interested in you in that way. You know that he finds you attractive ... (read in full...)

Being just friends makes sense but I don't know how to approach this!

Q.   Hi everyone, I (23/m) met a girl (22/f) last year over the course of a job where we were both away from home. During our time there we became really good friends and it was after the time had ended (and I had broken up with a different girl) ...

A.   14 January 2017: i agree with auntybimbim. Just leave it where it stands, don't contact her and if you hear from her just keep it friendly but don't get too deep into conversation. If she ever starts to contact you s lot and it's making moving on hard, it may be ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend has been secretive about his female friend in the past and now she's invited herself to stay with him for a week. How do I handle this?

Q.   I [21F] am in a relationship with my boyfriend [24M] (Mike, for future reference) for a year and a half, but our problem started about 6 months in. We met on the university both studying physics so it was easy for me to become a part of his college ...

A.   14 January 2017: I wouldn't normally say offer an ultimatum because I don't believe a partner should be able to control who their other half is friends with. Although, you've told him more than once how uncomfortable you feel as you know absolutely nothing about her ... (read in full...)

I love him but he's still not over her. What can I do?

Q.   I am in love with my boyfriend who is my first love, boyfriend, and overall first (in everything). However I am not his. This normally wouldn't bother me as much as it does, but his first was so significant to him that I'm not sure what my ...

A.   13 January 2017: If this is how you feel then you need to tell him. You can't just go with the flow hoping things will improve because they probably won't. Just tell him exactly what you've just told us, give him chance to open up. If he doesn't want to then you... (read in full...)

Should I try to win back my friend after criticising her uncle?

Q.   My best friend's uncle is making me feel uncomfortable. He is an older unemployed man who might be in his late 30s. Everytime I go to my friend's house he calls me names like "my baby, sweetie" which he normally does not use with any of the females ...

A.   13 January 2017: I agree with your boyfriend that she's not a true friend if she reacted that way. Her uncle makes you feel u comfortable, that's not your fault. You did the right thing in telling her and she massively overreacted to it. I don't however believe that ... (read in full...)

Could it be her using fake profiles?

Q.   I would like your opinions about what has happened four times in the last four months, i have been on a dating site for few years now, I've had two girlfriends,so the one ghost me a year ago, I've ask a few women friends of mine about this, well I ...

A.   13 January 2017: Could be but could just as easily not be. I don't think any of us could give you the answer. I agree with chi girl, don't reply to accounts with no pictures. It's also pretty easy to tell when fake pictures are being used. Try and meet women i... (read in full...)

I want the words to tell him I don't want to just sleep him, I want a relationship

Q.   Hey! So I've been dating this guy for around 2 months. He lives in Harrogate and I live in Manchester. We both drive and can see each other all the time. But he has just got out of a relationship literally a month before we started dating, he has b...

A.   12 January 2017: Yep, that's exactly what you do. I've been in this situation myself with a girl I wanted to go out with and I can tell you it will only get worse from this point if you continue speaking. Just tell him that you don't think it's a good idea to c... (read in full...)

I don't fantasize about other men so is it wrong that I feel upset that my husband uses porn?

Q.   I've read a lot of information on porn use following some tension between my husband and I over his use of it . When we first married I did tell him that I was not wanting to be in a relationship with someone who used porn and he assured me he ...

A.   12 January 2017: I agree with brownwolf 100%. I've never understood why men would masterbate if they've got a partner, makes no sense to me whatsoever.... (read in full...)

Is it ok to masturbate?

Q.   Being a sportsperson I masturbate , is it okay to do it? I have heard it decreases stamina etc..just please help ....

A.   12 January 2017: I think it's a myth. You'd probably have to masturbate thousands of times a week for it to have a serious effect on your testosterne. ... (read in full...)

Am I wrong? Is she being unreasonable? Would be unprofessional to tell her what transpired, when I was asked not to by my management?

Q.   I was called into a meeting today at work to discuss something, which wasn't a HUGE deal but which was asked to be kept confidential until he other people involved had been informed. My friend at work asked me what the meeting was about and I sa...

A.   12 January 2017: Keep quiet. I wouldn't put my job at risk to give out info that sounds like it's going to be released anyways when the correct people have been informed.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's cousin seemed so flirtatious... am I imagining it?

Q.   My girlfriend's cousin lives abroad. When we went to meet her, I got on with her and found her very friendly and enthusiastic. After a while I got that instinctive... is she flirting with me? feeling, but figured I was imagining it because my girlf...

A.   12 January 2017: I'm with slippers I remember your previous post. Are you hoping to read different answers? Sounds to me like you're hoping she was flirting or you'd of let it drop last time. You have a gf, what would it matter if she was flirting? ... (read in full...)

How can I get rid of our anxieties and start to date?

Q.   I really like this guy I met online. We have spoken a lot and he's asked to meet me. I am extremely shy and it (has) taken me a while to get comfortable with meeting new people. Sometimes it stops me meeting people because I get so worried about ...

A.   12 January 2017: Don't go to his house until you've met him a few times and you feel you're comfortable enough. Even if he's legit and further down the line you do go to his house, tell someone exactly where you are. From a guys perspective, him asking you t... (read in full...)

Did I over-react when I was upset about his weak excuse for canceling his visit?

Q.   My long distance bf who lives 3 hours away was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only ...

A.   12 January 2017: Stop fighting for him to give you time. Let him be, he didn't have the balls to tell you he was seeing someone else, which in my books is an asshole move. He was keeping you around just in case it didn't work out with the other girl. Do as honey... (read in full...)

Is it normal we haven't got into a fight yet? And is it good or bad?

Q.   Okay so basically I've been told by a couple of my friends that its not good my boyfriend and I haven't actual fought yet. We've been together for a little over four months, we irritate and annoy each other at points but we haven't actually...

A.   11 January 2017: I've heard this so many times. Why would you WANT to argue? Your friends opinion is silly and if you haven't fallen out with your bf yet then that's just the way it goes and that's a good thing if anything. ... (read in full...)

How can I stop him bringing up my ex'?

Q.   My boyfriend constantly keeps on about my past. I'm 4 years older than him and had a long-term relationship with someone else before we met. He's only ever really had flings and more casual relationships before me. We've been together 4 years but ...

A.   11 January 2017: If I were you I'd ask why the sudden start in bringing it up. Very odd behaviour if it's only recently started happening. There must be a reason why he's doing it so might as well find out why.... (read in full...)

Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?

Q.   My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...

A.   10 January 2017: Sounds like she's done you a favour. Making you miss your child growing up so that you can have the pleasure of her company? I wouldn't even be worrying about her, if I were you I'd be trying to make amends with my son and trying to get into his... (read in full...)

Don't want this to get out of hand. Should I let this messaging everyday friendship develop?

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm a 19 year old female, looking for some wisdom, perhaps telling me what I instinctively know myself but I just need somebody else's perspective. I've recently gone to university and made a great male friend, and currently...

A.   10 January 2017: I don't think he will change for you, he's a very young guy and probably doing the exact same as what al of his friends do. I think slowing the contact down a little may be a good idea if you feel like you're going to fall for him more.... (read in full...)

How should I act towards him for the best outcome?

Q.   A while ago I kissed someone from work who I had liked for a while. He told me he had feelings for me and we began texting. -But then later said because his ex works at the same place nothing could happen. And then kissed a different co wor...

A.   10 January 2017: Just forget about him. Don't text him or speak to him about anything unless it's work related, look at the amount of drama it's caused. He clearly has something still going on with his ex so just leave them to it. Let this be a lesson to never ... (read in full...)

Did I over-react when I was upset about his weak excuse for canceling his visit?

Q.   My long distance bf who lives 3 hours away was suppose to come this weekend to see me. I was really looking forward to it since its a long weekend which means we will have more time together .However he has Monday to Friday job so he is only ...

A.   9 January 2017: Lame excuse. If anything you'd think he would want to get out of the house and have a laugh with his gf. Doesn't sound like he's too bothered about the prospect of the relationship ending so I think it would be a good idea to go through with ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend lost his job, became depressed and now won't speak to me!

Q.   I'm in a pretty bad situation. I dated a guy for 6 months long distance and were very serious- he met my family, I spoke to his, our parents talked- we were on the marriage track. 4 months into it he told me that he was unemployed. It threw me for a ...

A.   9 January 2017: The more you message him the further and further away youre pushing him. Neediness is NOT attractive in the slightest. If he's not responding, what can you do? Leave him to it. Why are YOU begging HIM for forgiveness? What have you done wrong? A... (read in full...)

We enjoy each other's company but nothing seems to be starting! Any advice, aunties?

Q.   In April last year I met a guy at a local sports club I go to and over the course of the last few months we've built up a friendship and now regularly see each other outside our sports club. We're both single and in our 30s and at the start of las...

A.   9 January 2017: He mustn't be interested in you that way. He's clearly not shy as you've spent time together alone before. I think if he wanted to date you he would be more proactive about it.... (read in full...)

We enjoy each other's company but nothing seems to be starting! Any advice, aunties?

Q.   In April last year I met a guy at a local sports club I go to and over the course of the last few months we've built up a friendship and now regularly see each other outside our sports club. We're both single and in our 30s and at the start of las...

A.   9 January 2017: He mustn't be interested in you that way. He's clearly not shy as you've spent time together alone before. I think if he wanted to date you he would be more proactive about it.... (read in full...)

Do women dream about male virgins too?

Q.   Dear female cupids Many men dream of making love to a virgin Girl and teach her all about sex. Do women dream about male virgins too? Personally I haven't had this Kind of desire, although i lost my own virginity to another virgin. My ...

A.   9 January 2017: I don't think a woman who's not a Virgin would actively seek out a man who is a Virgin. I'd imagine a female to want a man who knows what he's doing as sex can become very awkward if one of the parties doesn't really know what they're doing. Possi... (read in full...)

Why was my BF not receptive enough to my naughty Snapchat video?

Q.   I sent my BF a racy Snapchat video. I don't want to say exactly but it was definitely "naughty" and involved private parts. Well, it took him 2 hours to see it and respond. He said... "Mmmmmm. How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing t...

A.   8 January 2017: I have my snapchat notifications turned off so I don't see them pop up ever, meaning I don't reply to some people for days, possibly even weeks. I really think you're worrying over nothing.... (read in full...)

Why was my BF not receptive enough to my naughty Snapchat video?

Q.   I sent my BF a racy Snapchat video. I don't want to say exactly but it was definitely "naughty" and involved private parts. Well, it took him 2 hours to see it and respond. He said... "Mmmmmm. How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing t...

A.   8 January 2017: I think you're blowing this way out of proportion. As wiseowl said, I've been sent pictures and videos before off people i wouldn't expect to send that kind of stuff and it caught me off guard and I didn't really know how to respond. Maybe h... (read in full...)

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