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How do I make this threesome idea happen?

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Question - (2 March 2016) 12 Answers - (Newest, 3 March 2016)
A male Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I want have a threesome with my wife and friend.

the game plan is they should not know each other so I want to blind fold them and to convince them for this and then the game goes on.... suggest me how to make this wonderful...!?

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A female reader, Anonymous 123 Italy +, writes (3 March 2016):

Anonymous 123 agony auntWhat an absolutely ghastly idea! Please don't do it. Of course there are 2 options here: either you're a troll or someone so absurd that you'll do it anyway. Come back when you're looking for ways to save your marriage

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (2 March 2016):

Honeypie agony auntYou need to ASK your wife before setting this up. This has DISASTER written all over.

IF she is OK with a 3-some SHE needs to be allowed some input into WHO the 3rd person is to be... Who knows, maybe she prefers another guy in bed, not a girl...

TALK to your wife, you OWE her that.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia +, writes (2 March 2016):

Ivyblue agony auntSlippery, slippery slope. But I guess you are already well aware of that, so if you are still wanting to go ahead- First you need to ask your wife and second- leave the friend out of it because there is not enough degrees of emotional separation. If your wife is up for it then it should be a joint decision as to whom the third party will be. Then there is also the RULES of what you both can and can't do. No need for me to go into detail, I think you get the idea. For you personally, I would really give some serious thought to all the negative things that could, and usually do if you read post on here at all, go wrong. I would even start with the consequences of even bringing it up to ask. Even that has the chance to go belly up and have her think you are going to run out and cheat if you dont get what you want kind of thing. Good luck

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (2 March 2016):

Tisha-1 agony auntA few years ago, at a class reunion, I spent sone time talking with a couple who seemed happy enough together. There were a couple of things that clued me into the fact that he wanted to be a swinger and have spouse swapping parties and threesomes.

Fast forward to now.

He's now single. She's with a new man (who is drop dead gorgeous ). I don't know where she and the super handsome man met but I'll bet that if hubby hadn't been looking for extramarital "action" he'd still be married to the beautiful blonde woman who tried to make him happy.

I think you need to discuss this with your wife. If she's not into it, you'll need to find another brilliant idea. One that doesn't involve porn.

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2016):

boo22 agony auntHi

You don't mention whether it's a threesome with another man or another woman.

If it's another man I'd advise prepare for the possibility that they run off together.

If it's another woman prepare to be divorced.

Either way, it's not the greatest idea you've ever had.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (2 March 2016):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntGood luck. Threesomes are so often the "... beginning of the end..."

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A female reader, jls022 United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2016):

So wait a second, you want them to be blindfolded so they don't know who they are about to sleep with? Do you plan to get to a point where you take the blindfolds off and shout 'surprise!'??

Not only is that something no sane person would ever agree to, but also how would it even work? Presumably they have both met each other and as such will know each other's voices, so do you plan on being the only one talking as well?

Can you not see that the only person this is hot for is you? And even then, we've had many men on here writing about how their wives seemed to enjoy sex with the other guy a great deal more than she does with him, so the reality likely wouldn't be that great for you either. I'd advise you to keep this as a fantasy.

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A female reader, miss frank United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2016):

And your wife wants what exactly? Has she agreed to this? Does she know even?

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A female reader, WhenCowsAttack United States +, writes (2 March 2016):

This is a horrible idea. Anything of this nature should be thoroughly discussed and agreed upon by all parties ahead of time, with clearly agreed upon rules and perimeters and all parties fully in agreement.

You're working really hard on destroying your marriage and your friendship with your plan. Hurt feelings, jealousy, feelings of betrayal, feeling pressured into something very serious.

This sort of thing isn't a game, and while it can be fun in the right circumstances it requires everyone to behave like adults and discuss, discuss, discuss. And it isn't for everyone.

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A female reader, LJCX United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2016):

LJCX agony auntWhat do you mean convince them that they don't know each other? The way that you have worded things makes it sound like you are the only one who really has any idea of what will be going on! So are you sure everybody is as up for this as you are?

Have you ever had a threesome before? It's all fantastic in fantasy but in reality it's extremely awkward and causes weirdness afterwards. In my opinion a threesome can only be wonderful if you are not in a relationship with any of the other people taking part.

What if you pay too much attention to the other woman, even if you don't mean to it could happen. I even heard of a guy that got so nervous when it happened that he couldn't perform and it had a bad effect on his confidence.

Think really carefully about this, it isn't a good idea getting a friend involved, if you are going to do it it should be with somebody you find online that you will never see again. It's also not a great idea doing it with somebody you are married to or in a long term relationship with.

I'm very open and laid back sexually and I have had threesomes before but not with a boyfriend I was seeing for a very long time. I would never want to with a man I was seriously committed to.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (2 March 2016):

So_Very_Confused agony auntDoes your wife want a threesome? IF not then NO you can't do it.

Do you wish for your wife and friend to have an affair? IF not...then NO don't do it

DO you wish to NOT be friends with this person ever again?

then NO don't do it.

I am a former swinger. I can speak to folks in my marital bed. IN the current marriage...NOT HAPPENING.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (2 March 2016):

Denizen agony auntHaven't you posted about this before? I think I advised you to think very carefully about this fantasy. It won't be the same as in your mind. Your relationships will be changed forever - and so will you.

Are you sure all parties want this?

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