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*wirly agony aunt

*wirly

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*wirly's profile:

Hi There,

I live in the North of England and am a 34 year old busy singleton! I am a bit of a nightowl and discovered this site by chance a year or so ago and have been popping in and out ever since, answering questions whenever I think I can help in some way!

Im pretty open minded, a big fan of Bob Dylan, Bill Hicks and Eddie Izzard which gives you an idea of my outlook on life!

Ive had my fair share of romance happiness and heartache and would love to be thinner but am pretty happy and grounded on the whole and hope to advise and help wherever I can.

Love Twirly xx

1234Next > [4 pages, 126 answers]

I have been dumped after 10 years, during which he kept picking fault with me. Help!

Q.   i have just been 'dumped' after 10 years. I am an extremely attractive and kind soul. I did not deserve this. I tried to change for him when he kept picking fault with me. he would never try, even counselling. i made the decision to let it go, ...

A.   30 June 2008: Hi Sweetie, Wow, what a creep! The very first thing I advise you to do is to cut off contact with him. He shouldn't be popping round or talking to you daily, let the answerphone pick up any calls from him, or if need be tell him once, firmly a... (read in full...)

Is this too much of an age difference?

Q.   Hi everyone... I'm after meeting this guy a few weeks ago and have been out on a few dates and we just get on really well... The thing is the other nite we were talking and I found out he's nearly 24 and I'm 31 next month! I thought he said he...

A.   30 June 2008: Hey Lovely, I think it's fine! That's not so big a gap at your ages, I say go for it! xx... (read in full...)

I can't stop thinking of what this woman said, what do I do?!

Q.   A mysterious woman saw me on the road a week ago and told me that i will be married to an already married man. to my culture, its ok but to me, i hate to share. i was so scared that i went praying heavily. i started working at a company not long ago ...

A.   30 June 2008: This does sound a bit silly, but if you are worried, then there's the possibility that she meant you may meet someone who has been married before! xx... (read in full...)

I am suppose to be going on a date tonight, but I don't feel the want to go? I don't know why

Q.   I met a guy 2 weeks ago at my local pub. We've kept in touch by txt. I am suppose to be going out tonight with him. He is 30, 7 years younger than me. We have nothing in common, he likes to drink frequently, used to do drugs, and doesn't have any ...

A.   28 June 2008: I wouldn't go if I were you, follow your instincts and phone and cancel with an excuse as suggested below. There is no point starting something if you're so cleary not interested. Okay so you accepted the date, so what, you were probably being ni... (read in full...)

I had a comtraceptive implant in March and now I'm torn between being safe and dirty or unsafe and clean

Q.   First a little background info. I had the contraceptive implant back in March and the doctor did say that it would take about three months for my periods to sort themselves out. In the first couple of weeks my period was constant then stopped but ...

A.   28 June 2008: Hi Lovely, I have just had the comtraceptive implant removed after 2 years, I didn't have the problems you are having but decided it wasn't for me in the end. like some of the other posters have already said, you could really do to try someth... (read in full...)

I'm worried about putting on weight if I take the pill. Are there ways to avoid it?

Q.   I'm having to go on the pill, due to heavy periods and unbearable stomach cramps. However, I'm concerned of the side-effects... Apparently you can gain alot of weight, i'm not prepared to sacrafice my pain for that!!! I'm tall and fairly slim, this ...

A.   17 June 2008: PS You have youth on your side so that should help in itself! I would try it, see how it goes and then take it from there! xx... (read in full...)

I'm worried about putting on weight if I take the pill. Are there ways to avoid it?

Q.   I'm having to go on the pill, due to heavy periods and unbearable stomach cramps. However, I'm concerned of the side-effects... Apparently you can gain alot of weight, i'm not prepared to sacrafice my pain for that!!! I'm tall and fairly slim, this ...

A.   17 June 2008: Hey, I gain weight when I go on the pill as well, although my doctor says that everyone is different. I think that the benefits of the pill far outweigh the side effect of possible weight gain, and I have had regular breaks from it over the... (read in full...)

Hurt because he wanted me to get STI checked and use condoms!

Q.   My boyfriend have had sex before but he always wants to wear a condom when I give him head. I like doing it but even the flavored condoms taste sooo weird to me. I wish he would just take it off and relax! We've both been tested for STDs and ...

A.   15 June 2008: Im puzzled as to why he still has a problem if you have both been tested and are in an exclusive relationship. I think you need to try to talk to him. Good luck xx... (read in full...)

How can I get my face to look thinner?

Q.   how can i lose weight on my face?I notice that when i exercise i loose weight everywhere but from my face.Any advice?Or are there any make-up tricks i can use for a slimmer face??...

A.   14 June 2008: Hey Sweetie, A make up artist friend of mine showed me how to do 'contouring' which may help! What you do is get your blusher brush, a nice big one, and apply it to your cheekbones as usual, then lift up your chin and sweep the blusher undernea... (read in full...)

Having a partner is not everything but I don't really want to spend the rest of my life on my own, any helpful advice would be so appreciated

Q.   I split up from my partner in september because he cheated on me, it was the most painful time, emotionally and financially, i,m now starting to get on my feet at last and i can tell you, it hasn't been easy as i did love him to bits and i thought ...

A.   13 June 2008: Hi Sweetie, It sounds to me like you're doing really well rebuilding your life after what has happened. September isn't all that long ago and I think you should try to see this time on your own as an opportunity to enjoy rediscovering yo... (read in full...)

My GF's past is eating me up inside, partly because the long distance favours my idle mind to produce negative thoughts about her. Help?

Q.   My gf and i have been dating for the past 1 1/2 years. I has been long distance relationship since we started going out. Every month i make a trip to see her and she does the same. After our 1 year anniversary we decided to have a conversation about ...

A.   13 June 2008: Your girlfriend has done nothig wrong at all. She has no need to apologise for sleeping with other people before meeting you and Im afraid that this an issue that's yours to deal with or move on! If you do move on, please note that you won't b... (read in full...)

Why didn't he call?

Q.   I go to this resturant every couple months with my family and the waiter always stares at me and talks to my family like he is trying to impress them. He waves to me makes eye contact and everything.My mom said the guy is trying so hard leave your ...

A.   12 June 2008: Ahh, I agree with Nikita, you could pop back and give him your number yourself, or give him the chance to approach you. He may not have seen the number, and also may have been shy to ask himself while your Mum was there. Go back with your S... (read in full...)

Should one express doubts early on in a relationship or is healthier to be positive and enjoy all the good things about the relationship?

Q.   Guilt. What is its value? Are we entitled to put it aside or de we need to recognise it and act on it? I recently met a girl at a party. I had noticed her around before but not spoken to her. We chatted, had a laugh together and she kissed m...

A.   12 June 2008: Hey again! I totally hear what you're saying, I have felt the same things you mention myself. My take on it is that yes, it can be hard to feel comfortable around someone you fancy the pants off, but you are also going to meet people you ... (read in full...)

Wish I had thought about me along the way... too late now?

Q.   I'm hitting a point in my life where I am beginning to realize that I may never be able to fulfill the many fantasies I've harbored for more than 21 years of marriage. My wife and I lead a fairly active sex life. The thing is, I've been bored for ...

A.   12 June 2008: I think you are resenting you wife unfairly here. If she's told you she's not interested in spicing things up in the bedroom then she's just being honest, and you now face a tough decision whether to accept that and stay, or to move on. What yo... (read in full...)

My heart says to me I should try one more time with my wife, though I know I will miss my girlfriend terribly! An extremely difficult choice!

Q.   I am married. I have been for 8 years. I lived with my wife for 6 years before that. We were very much in love and we still do love each other, but in 2006 I had an affair with a girl. It didn't last long and then I went on a long trip for two mont...

A.   12 June 2008: Gosh this is a pickle. Like other posters advise, I don't think you're going to be happy with either one until you decided who you really want. May I suggest you taking some time to yourself away from both, perhaps a week or two away on holi... (read in full...)

She didn't want a relationship and now she says she does.. my head hurts from trying to figure her out!!

Q.   I've been seeing a woman as a friend for 3 months. She is a divorcee. I mentioned i was interested in a relationship with her, but she said it was too soon after the break up of her marriage, 6 months ago. Anyway she went on holiday and had a one ni...

A.   12 June 2008: Ahh, I feel for you on this one, I have been in a similar situation with a guy who had just got out of relationship. After being messed about in a similar way I ended up giving it up as him just not being ready and moved on. I did take it perso... (read in full...)

Should one express doubts early on in a relationship or is healthier to be positive and enjoy all the good things about the relationship?

Q.   Guilt. What is its value? Are we entitled to put it aside or de we need to recognise it and act on it? I recently met a girl at a party. I had noticed her around before but not spoken to her. We chatted, had a laugh together and she kissed m...

A.   12 June 2008: I don't think you have anything to worry about. If she actually was flirting with your friend at the party then it was most likely before she got chatting to you. I would forget about it and focus on what you have now which sounds to me like a lo... (read in full...)

Sexual Harrassment at work - how can I make it stop?

Q.   i recently started a new job which i love the man who was head of my department was selected to train me, after only a month he started to put his arm around me, and make sexuall remarks, this has now delveloped into him groping my bottom, and also ...

A.   6 June 2008: PS you say your husband also works there, have you told him? xx... (read in full...)

Sexual Harrassment at work - how can I make it stop?

Q.   i recently started a new job which i love the man who was head of my department was selected to train me, after only a month he started to put his arm around me, and make sexuall remarks, this has now delveloped into him groping my bottom, and also ...

A.   4 June 2008: Wow what a creep! Do as the other posters suggest and then sue him!... (read in full...)

I happened to see my son masturbating and don't quite know what to do about it!

Q.   I am a mother of 2 kids, 11 year old boy and 8 year old girl. My husband is on a business tour and will be back only after two months. Couple of days back I happened to see my son doing masterbation in his bedroom. He does not know that I have seen ...

A.   3 June 2008: Hi There, This is very normal, and I would advise you don't say anything to him about it. Perhaps you can just be aware that he is growing up and be available to chat to him should he start to have any questions about sex and growing up. T... (read in full...)

I was happy sleeping with other men to please my husband, but he doesn't want me to anymore.

Q.   after we had been married about five years, my husband told me he wanted me to have sex with other men and he wanted to watch. i told him i didn't want to, but he begged and begged me to do this and i finally told him i would. he brought home a ...

A.   30 May 2008: I was wondering if it was a real post as well! ... (read in full...)

Can anyone help after my first night sex experience?

Q.   I met a guy in 3 months ago went on a first date who was the perfect gentlemen went home and ended up having sex. We contacted each other the next week, then left it for a couple weeks and then he asked me out again. I just said it was a drunken...

A.   29 May 2008: Ooo I do think that Birdynumnums has a point, and I think that the only way to find out is to go on a date and see what happens. He may well just be after sex, but if you go out with him again and play it cool and don't give in, and then see if h... (read in full...)

Can anyone help after my first night sex experience?

Q.   I met a guy in 3 months ago went on a first date who was the perfect gentlemen went home and ended up having sex. We contacted each other the next week, then left it for a couple weeks and then he asked me out again. I just said it was a drunken...

A.   29 May 2008: PS I also think that you've totally overcome the worry of sleeping with him on the first date. He's now chasing you like mad so although he was initially cool, your coolness has made him pursue you, so perhaps you could just forget about the first ... (read in full...)

Can anyone help after my first night sex experience?

Q.   I met a guy in 3 months ago went on a first date who was the perfect gentlemen went home and ended up having sex. We contacted each other the next week, then left it for a couple weeks and then he asked me out again. I just said it was a drunken...

A.   29 May 2008: Oh I see! That's much clearer now! In your original message, the bit about you leaving it for a couple of weeks seemed mutual, but yes, I can see how you would have been pissed off! In that case, it seems to me like you've succeeded in mak... (read in full...)

Can anyone help after my first night sex experience?

Q.   I met a guy in 3 months ago went on a first date who was the perfect gentlemen went home and ended up having sex. We contacted each other the next week, then left it for a couple weeks and then he asked me out again. I just said it was a drunken...

A.   29 May 2008: Im a little confused by your question, Im not quite sure why you told him you were seeing someone else and that it was just a fling. Was that bit true or are you saying you only said that to see what he would do? If it was the latter, Im not sure... (read in full...)

I have a working, open marriage. Could I have scared off a guy I met?

Q.   Hello, I need some help. Here's the deal my husband and i have an open marriage. We love eachother, and this WORKS for us. I met a guy at the bar one night as i hung with my sister. He was an amazing looking man nothing happened that night. I...

A.   29 May 2008: Ooo Thankyou for the update. Another option is that he likes you and doesn't see himself being able to share you. It would be quite a big factor for me if I met a man who had an open marriage, I don't think Id want to share him with anyone! ... (read in full...)

I have a working, open marriage. Could I have scared off a guy I met?

Q.   Hello, I need some help. Here's the deal my husband and i have an open marriage. We love eachother, and this WORKS for us. I met a guy at the bar one night as i hung with my sister. He was an amazing looking man nothing happened that night. I...

A.   29 May 2008: I think a lot of people would be a little concerned about entering into a realtionship with someone who was married. Did you explain to him that yours is an open marriage? Perhaps he simply thinks you're a cheater?... (read in full...)

"Yipee my son is going to be a womaniser". Why do they talk like that?

Q.   Why is it i constantly hear women with young male children, speaking to another woman. OOOH he's a proper lad he's going to be a bit of a one with the women, then a beaming smile. Like whats this all about? Yipee my son is going to be a womaniser?...

A.   29 May 2008: I actually think it's just Mums being proud of their little boys. I don't think they mean that at all, they're just using a popular expression to express their love! ... (read in full...)

Read this break up email from my bf, and tell me what it means, please!

Q.   I got this break up email from my bf. What do you think it means? I know obviously it means he wants to break up, but do you think I have a chance to patch it back together with him? I still love him and I know we've had some problems typical ...

A.   29 May 2008: Wow Sweetie, that's a harsh email for anyone to get, I don't see any hope there Im afraid. If im honest Im hoping you will get over him and realise that you deserve someone much nicer, I don't care what has happened, you don't deserve to be spoke... (read in full...)

How do I cope with this first time hook up? I'm completely and utterly disappointed in myself...

Q.   I really don't even know where to start. I'm completely and utterly disappointed in myself and filled with regret. I met this guy Dan through a friend a couple of years ago. We really hit it off, but he was then deployed to Iraq. I haven't seen ...

A.   29 May 2008: Please don't worry, you've known him a long time, and he was only home for a short time, so it's not as though you just met a stranger and slept with them that night! He may be feeling the same as you! Also he may be tied up catching up with fam... (read in full...)

Is this size small for a 5 foot 5 inches tall man?

Q.   is a 6 and a half inch,2 inch wide penis small for a 5 foot 5 man?...

A.   29 May 2008: I couldn't agree more with Tisha! xxx... (read in full...)

Problems with curly hair...

Q.   Hey, this doesn't really have anything to do with love... directly... but my hair is naturally very curly, and sometimes it looks really nice but other times its awful, and i hate the unpredictability of it, so can anyone suggest a way to manage it ...

A.   28 May 2008: Hi There! Im a curly-top too and I love Aussie's 3 Minute Miracle 'Frizz Remedy' conditioner. It's the one with the navy blue writing! Also, I use Tigi shampoo, which I buy in a salon and have found that it's so much better than shop bought... (read in full...)

Hes so jealous and controlling and I have to force myself to have sex with him and don't want to!

Q.   Hello. I just turned 21 in October. I've been living with my boyfriend for almost 3 years. Things were good at first cause I was new to the area and had no friends there. Well I made friends...and course they wanted to hang out with me. At first he ...

A.   28 May 2008: Hey Sweetie, I was in a similar situation when I was 21, I had been with my first boyfriend for 3 years and although it was great for the first two, by the end I felt controlled and possessed and was not happy at all. I ended up staying with ... (read in full...)

Try Jesus, 9 out of 10 jews can't be wrong.

Q.   Good Evening London. Theres times when i come to this place and i lose all hope and faith in mankind. It seems to be that time of year where the birds and the bees are at it.. how they manage that i'll never know. And everyone if meeting n...

A.   28 May 2008: Actually, I must agree with Annalise here, the original post isn't particularly about religion, (in fact Im not exactly sure I understand what it is about as it's slightly confusing!) but I would like to point out that while I don't believe in ... (read in full...)

Try Jesus, 9 out of 10 jews can't be wrong.

Q.   Good Evening London. Theres times when i come to this place and i lose all hope and faith in mankind. It seems to be that time of year where the birds and the bees are at it.. how they manage that i'll never know. And everyone if meeting n...

A.   27 May 2008: Ooo I was so not going to rise to this one and stick my two-pennoth in but I can't resist it! People do shitty things to otehr people in the name of religion because they have done for years! Religions are all man made philosophies, es... (read in full...)

My boobs become very painful around my periods... do you think anything could be wrong?

Q.   am 17 years old and a bit over weight as a result my boobs are quite big am a 44dd but for the past couple of moths right around my periods my boobs become very painfull a started my periods when i was nine and this has never been a problem before i ...

A.   27 May 2008: Hi Lovely, I also used to get this quite badly as a teenager and still do sometimes, I really wouldn't worry but like the other ladies have said below you could go to your GP just to put your mind at rest. Ive also got a history of cance... (read in full...)

I'm 23 and my 15 year old nephew got me pregnant!

Q.   Im 23 and my 15 year old nephew impregnated me! I want to keep the baby because I love him but he tells me he cant. Im so confused I love him and Ill love our child just as much. Advice?...

A.   26 May 2008: Well relatives having children together is never a good idea gene-pool wise, and like the previous posters have said, he is under age. As you have said you love him, I must wonder if your motives for wanting to keep this child are influenc... (read in full...)

I don't know what to do I don't have a man in my life and my job is shit.

Q.   I don't know what to do I don't have a man in my life and my job is shit. Everytime I try and change my life for the better- it ends up being the worst decisons Ive made i.e trying to get a new job or finding a new man. I don't know what to do ...

A.   26 May 2008: Hey, you sound pretty amazing to me, to keep trying to change things for the better is a brilliant quality. I agree with the advice below and just want to say keep trying, hang on to that belief that you can change things and they will get bett... (read in full...)

Should we be friends with benefits or just completely call it quits?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 8 months. We do love eachother but last night we called it quits. We just feel like our personalities clash and we have different hobbies. I thought I would be okay with the situation because he ...

A.   25 May 2008: Oh gosh, this must be so hard for you, it sounds like you really like him but I would advise you not to become 'friends with benefits' as it sounds as though you like him more than he likes you sadly, and you are likely to get hurt. Essen... (read in full...)

Time to end the fling with the married man?

Q.   I have been involved with a married man for 2and a half months and things started off really well and he used to pay me so much attention but recently, things have just gone downhill he hardly calls or makes any effort to stay in touch. Although ...

A.   25 May 2008: Hey Sweetie, I think you've answered your own question really, this man's not treating you well at all, and never will while he is married. It sounds as though he has no intention of leaving his wife, so yes, it is time to end the fling, befor... (read in full...)

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