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*anthic

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I make it a point in life to be as open-minded and accepting as I possibly can be, and regardless of the situation will attempt to see things from all sides. I firmly believe in being fair and blunt; sugarcoating leads to damaging results in spite of meaning well.

Latest articles:

Facebook: What does it really mean?

This question has 12 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

11 July 2010: Nothing! Several situations can be mistaken to mean something more, when they truly don't carry much significance. For example: The friend you've been crushing on for the last six months accepts your third attempt at a friend request, and...

What to do when the person you're attracted to is already taken.

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 July 2010: Run the hell away. I've seen several questions of this nature on the site. It seems like a simple problem, although in reality it's not. It's complicated and messy, and almost always leaves one person's emotions in ruins while the other enjoys hav...

1234567891011Next > [19 pages, 730 answers]

I thought we were dating but he's still remaining active on his online dating account!

Q.   Three weeks ago, I started dating a guy through on-line dating . I think we are a really good match for each other. He is exactly what I am looking for in a guy and seems really keen on me. He treats me really well and we have the same values, ...

A.   27 November 2011: Unless he outright agrees to be in an exclusive relationship with you, you're not exclusive. You're only setting yourself up for disappointment by simply assuming without an actual discussion about it.... (read in full...)

Is my man interested in more than friendship with her?

Q.   Well my current relationship is kinda unsure to me, only because i often hear about his friend he had in high school. He said more then once that if he was ever to marry anyone, it would be her. He claims she is a friend to this day and often calls ...

A.   25 September 2011: He's actually said that about her to your face? Why the hell are you still with him and taking care of his kids? You can try with all your might to please him, but it's never going to make him change. He's still in love with this woman and has ... (read in full...)

Should I tell my perfect match that I wear coloured lenses?

Q.   I don't know how to go about this. I met this guy who is amazing in so many ways, it is shocking how good looking he is!! But more so that he is on the same wavelength as me and i've never met anybody who has been more of a perfect match for what ...

A.   25 September 2011: You're worrying way, WAY too much about this. He's probably not going to care or even notice. Even if for some ridiculous reason he does care about something like that, do you really think he's worth dating? Worrying about it is going to make you... (read in full...)

Should I break up with my boyfriend for being jealous?

Q.   Hi I was for a week on vacation with a girlfriend to Italy. First days my boyfriend texted me said he missed me and asked me how I was doing. When I said that I met French and Polish guys and was going out with them that night he starting asking me ...

A.   23 September 2011: It's obvious you were trying to make him jealous purposely, otherwise you wouldn't have have bothered to tell him those men were flirting with you. How would you have felt if he was thousands of miles away on vacation and told you a bunch of girls ... (read in full...)

Ten year age difference ...

Q.   I'll try and get straight to the point but it's a long story, lol. I have been dating a guy that's ten years older than me for about a month and a half on and off.. simply because he has issues with my age, which don't get me wrong.. I do ...

A.   23 September 2011: I'm not sure you really do understand. He's confused because he knows he shouldn't be dating a 16/17 year old. When you're the younger one in a relationship it doesn't seem like a big deal, but think of how it would be to date someone three or four ... (read in full...)

I cheated on him, now he wants me to pay

Q.   Hey! So, cheated on my bf and I know it was bad and all. So, please, please, please, no judgment. Trying to win him back. He says he loves me, but his trust is gone. Then he came over to my place tonite and tried real hard to have sex.I refused cos ...

A.   23 September 2011: Sex is never going to really win him back, he's just looking to use and degrade you and sees this as the best excuse he'll get to do so. Anyone willing to treat a person like that doesn't deserve the time or effort you're giving him, no exceptions. ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this irritating man child whom I had been dating?

Q.   I'm really mad. I was seeing this 40 year old man child for 5 months. He tells me he really likes me, sees us together but needed time to get himself together after a break up. He wasn't married or engaged to this woman. This guy would only call ...

A.   23 September 2011: Exactly as idoneitagain said, he responded with 'lol' because after three weeks of no contact and in spite of his childish games, he finds it funny that you're still interested in seeing him. He's obviously being dismissive and immature, why bother ... (read in full...)

My mother can't afford the wedding, my b/f's family can but won't help!

Q.   Me and my fiance are planning our wedding. I've always wanted to get married in a cathedral, and have a ball-gown style dress, and of course marry the man of my dreams. Unfortunately...my mom who would be fronting the bill, can't afford how much the ...

A.   21 September 2011: Postpone the wedding, finish school and work towards saving up enough to pay for the wedding yourself. Your mother isn't obligated to pay for anything, the least you could do is be considerate of the fact that she just doesn't have the money to fund ... (read in full...)

I've started developing feelings for my FWB but I'm worried that it isn't mutual..

Q.   i've been in a friends with benefits relationship with this guy i've know for almost 6 months and im just really confused if he may be developing feelings for me or if im a complete fool and he is using me. we text alot and i go over at least th...

A.   21 September 2011: The feeling is not mutual. The things you've described are nothing out of the ordinary between platonic friends, excluding sex obviously. Hanging out, introducing you to a few relatives, etc. are things friends normally do. If he really had feelings ... (read in full...)

G/f gave permission to cheat since she wants to wait till after marriage to have sex

Q.   I pretty much just met the woman of my dreams... except for one thing. She doesn't want to have sex until marriage. She tells me that she is a virgin and wants to stay that way until she is married. The strange thing is, she has told me that I could ...

A.   31 August 2011: She has already decided what she wants and doesn't seem to be open to compromise. You need the decide if this is something you can handle for the next year or two, or if the sexual aspect of a relationship is too important for you to give up for any ... (read in full...)

Will my strategy to ask her out work?

Q.   She's a good friend, I think we both have feeling for each other, so Im going to make the first move and ask if we could date. Would it be fine (put yourself in her shoes) if I asked her if she had time to quickly meet up during the weekend so t...

A.   31 August 2011: A quick meeting is definitely not the way to go, it would make things seem rushed and could potentially be awkward. Besides, it shouldn't be about guaranteeing she'll show up. It's better to make plans to hang out, spend some time together doing ... (read in full...)

The guy I'm seeing says he just doesn't want to be with anyone. Will he change his mind?

Q.   Hi everyone I have been sleeping with my fwb for a few months now I have began to have very strong feelings for him and I'm pretty sure he feels the same as he calls me babe all the time texts me kisses when we meet up its not just for sex he gives ...

A.   11 August 2011: Of course the age difference doesn't bother him, you're a young woman willing to have sex with him without a relationship. If he truly saw you as a potential girlfriend he would pursue you as one, but he's not. To him you're just a friend with ... (read in full...)

How should I break the touch barrier?

Q.   Hey all. SO I am fairly new to dating. I have only have had one girlfriend and that was a dorm relationship and those don't really start the traditional way if you know what I mean. So now after months of being single I finally met this amazing...

A.   10 August 2011: It's not stupid or childish, everyone experiences this at least once in their lives. It's just part of dating and getting to know someone. I suggest you test things first by briefly touching a 'safe' place, such as her arm or back. If she doesn't ... (read in full...)

He said it was "unofficial," what does that mean?

Q.   he said it was "unofficial" and i don't know what thats supposed to mean,i want to ask him about it but i don't want to make it awkward between us or make him feel pressured. we joke around all the time about getting married and he asks me if there ...

A.   20 July 2011: If he said your relationship is unofficial, it means you're just dating and are still free to date other people as well.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend ruined my expensive pot, should I make him replace it?

Q.   When I moved into my first apartment I invested in a really expensive ($200) cooking pot. My mom has several that I grew up cooking with and they have lasted her almost 30 years each, still going strong. I LOVE mine and treat it carefully. I now ...

A.   18 July 2011: It was his responsibilty to clean it, yet he didn't. His carelessness is the sole reason it's ruined, the quality or price of the pot doesn't matter. There was absolutely no reason for him to leave it uncleaned for such a long time, he most ... (read in full...)

What is the best course of action for me, now that he has moved in with his new partner?

Q.   Hi I have a very long story and not so sure where to start. For two and a half years I've been having an affair with a man. After being friends, we admitted our attraction to one another and agreed to have sex as a "one off" but as time went on...

A.   18 July 2011: He's not in love with you. A man in love would do anything in his power to make you happy, not keep you on the side and make excuses. If he didn't want to be with this woman, he wouldn't be with her; he just wants to have his cake and eat it too. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend won't call everyday but always answers his phone if I call. Why?

Q.   I'm confused. My boyfriend of 7 months has been away for 2 months for work. He doesn't call me every day despite the fact that I've made it clear I would like him to. However, he DOES pick up his phone no matter what time I call. (i just don't wa...

A.   17 July 2011: Uh, wow. You need to relax, seriously. You're making a small issue into a really big deal, and are even getting a bit spiteful about it, which is in turn making him walk on eggshells around you. You seem to be taking it as a personal insult, when ... (read in full...)

I am so hurt, why do I let him do this to me?

Q.   We've been seeing each other on and off for a few months. We've slept together but he still doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. He keeps coming in and out of my life. It had been a month and out of the blue he contacted me again. I'm ...

A.   17 July 2011: He comes back because you continue to have sex with him, regardless of what he says or does. You can't buy his love with sex, it just doesn't work that way. Your behavior has taught him that it's okay to disrespect and use you. Wait until you're in ... (read in full...)

Dating for a year and never gone on a "date" yet!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year. We get along fine and time with just ourselves is great. We have never gone on a date yet. I've tried to plan 3 but always something came up with my bf and the date would be called off. Afte...

A.   15 July 2011: I agree with YouWish, he IS hiding you and he definitely doesn't consider what you have a real relationship. It seems as though he's been telling you what you want to hear to keep you around, but doesn't actually mean what he says. This sounds more ... (read in full...)

Is it that bad that I get frequent pictures of my newborn nephew from my sister? My wife is making a big deal out of this!

Q.   I have been a husband for almost 5 years now. My wife and I fight all the time. I wanted to get advice for the most recent reason she got mad at me. My sister just had a baby a few weeks ago and has been sending me a text message with a picture ...

A.   23 June 2011: Your wife is being petty and jealous, there's absolutely nothing wrong with the fact that your sister sends a picture of her son each day. After all, he's your nephew. Your wife needs to understand that not every waking second you have will be spent ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend and I are going on a break, and I feel very uncomfortable about it

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for 10mths now. He cheated on me in the past and i forgave him for it and said that we could start over because i really love him with all of my heart. Although i forgave him, things haven't been the same and ...

A.   19 June 2011: Usually when men say they want a 'break', it really means 'I want your permission to cheat, but I still want to have you as a backup in case things don't work out with another girl'. Considering the fact that he's already cheated on you in the past, ... (read in full...)

Should I try being a FWB? None of my relationships work out. Need help please.

Q.   well ive recentley gotten out of two relationships the first i was with him for 2yrs. and loved him deeply but one day he just up an left without a text or call or a reason to him leaving .An i didnt know why he left i still to this day dnt know why ...

A.   19 June 2011: Reducing yourself to a convenient lay for some guy isn't going to fix your problems, it'll only make them worse. You're obviously the type that gets attached quickly, otherwise you wouldn't be calling a one-date encounter a 'relatio... (read in full...)

He doesn't give me enough notice. What's his deal?

Q.   I have been dating this guy for about a month. We both recently ended relationships . We have gone on 2 dates so far. Last Thursday, He asked to get together for Friday and he never contacted me until 8:30 Friday night. he was sweet and told me ...

A.   6 May 2011: Usually, people do this when they're holding out for something better to come along. If that's not the case, he's just a flake. Either way, it's very inconsiderate on his part and shouldn't be tolerated. If he can't do something as simple as give ... (read in full...)

Our "casual" relationship!

Q.   So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...

A.   7 April 2011: You really need to end this, it's never going to go anywhere. Seriously, never. So what if he's not sleeping with anyone else right now? That doesn't mean he won't at some point, and when that happens you'll feel even worse than you do now. What he ... (read in full...)

He wants to take pictures

Q.   Every time we go for a real hot time, he always wanted to take pictures of me playing with him. He said he is having more pleasures on that. Just like a porn picture. Is this normal? Is he a perv?...

A.   8 March 2011: Are you comfortable with the idea of these pictures being seen by people other than you? Would you want your family to see them? If the answer is no to both questions, obviously you know what the right answer is. Just remember, any pictures of this ... (read in full...)

Everyone loves me...except the one I want.

Q.   i'm just a high school student . im famous in our campus because i'm pretty, smart and talented but i've never been interested with having a boyfriend .. until i realized that i am in love with my guy best friend. he knows it for a friend of mine ...

A.   8 March 2011: Your ego could be part of the reason. Confidence is attractive, but not outright conceit. Has he directly told you he's not interested in you in that way? If not, why not talk to him about what you're feeling?... (read in full...)

He has a girl friend. He flirts with me. Could there be a chance for us? He's two years older than me

Q.   Dear Cupid, This guy and I have been friends for a few months, and we've already gotten close. He makes me laugh, and it's just so much fun being with him! But he's the kind of guy that would say flirty stuff, but you have to know that he's just jok...

A.   3 March 2011: Until he's single, leave him alone. It doesn't matter whether he likes you or not if he's already involved with someone else.... (read in full...)

He's irresistable. He's girl crazy. How can I make him fall for me?

Q.   there is this one guy in my university, who is so hot, sexy and so nice at heart who is two years older to me. he is irresistible for every girl. he is a real boy friend material, he is really too sweet with me. but the problem i have is he is gi...

A.   3 March 2011: This is going to sound harsh, but it's something I think you need to hear: guys don't fool around with women they want to be in a relationship with. If he really cared about you or loved you, he would've asked you out on a proper date first, rather ... (read in full...)

My bf says I'm the "one" but acts uninterested in me. What do I do?

Q.   Hello, I've been with my boyfriend now for 4 months and I love him more then ever but I'm confused. He tells me that I am the "one" always and that I'm different from all his ex's because there something special about me. Both his parents also tell ...

A.   3 March 2011: Just as sexless said, actions speak louder than words, and it sounds to me like he's just telling you what you want to hear. It's only been 4 months and he's already bored? Move on, find a nice guy that doesn't have the attention span of a 5 year ... (read in full...)

Am I being too sensitive over my bf's habit of revealing too much in casual conversations?

Q.   I met a nice guy a couple of months ago. I have never married, he's divorced with 3 kids. We get along really well in most respects. My problem is he when he chats to me or my family or meets my friends, the story he is telling often involves (in ...

A.   3 March 2011: I don't think you're being too sensitive, he's going into way too much detail. Also, it's a bit respectful to talk about his ex-wife in this manner, it's just too much info that wasn't asked for. Talk to him about it, just let him know it makes... (read in full...)

Does she think I'm insincere?

Q.   Okay, got a small problem. I have never been in a relationship, but I am getting close to one of my good friends. I make it my policy to tell her everything that I do, be it seeing my other female friends or things i have done in my day. However I...

A.   3 March 2011: Honestly, I don't see why you need to tell her about literally everything you do. It's nice to have an open and honest friendship with someone, but I think this is going a bit far. There's no reason why you should feel guilty for not telling her ... (read in full...)

I asked my abusive partner to leave and he won't!

Q.   I have been with my partner over a year now , he moved in just a week after we met, the lies had already started..I lent him moneu and never got it back and he lied what he did with it.. drugs actually, i know he loves me but he finds it fun to put ...

A.   15 February 2011: You can't keep telling yourself he loves you when his actions say the exact opposite. You have to put your foot down and tell him to leave, not ask him. Get the police involved if you have to. If his name is on the lease they can't do much, but that ... (read in full...)

What should I do? Do I contact him... or what?

Q.   I was dating this guy for about three months, and in those three months he cheated on me (nothing major) and treated me badly, but I didn't give up on him because I knew he could be a good person if it weren't for the people he hung out with. But ...

A.   7 February 2011: Hold on, so.. you said you didn't want to be friends, and now you're wondering why he hasn't tried to contact you? For the love of god let him go. How good could he be if he chose someone else over you, then decided to date you again only because it ... (read in full...)

Should I kiss her on the first date?

Q.   I just asked this girl out and she said yes. I dont want to go to fast, so should I kiss her now on the first day or wait a little bit? ...

A.   7 February 2011: You should wait until at least the second date, you don't want her to feel rushed. It's fine if she makes the first move or clearly shows she's interested in taking that step, but if not, it'd be better not to.... (read in full...)

In love with a man whom I dated in school. The catch: He's married.

Q.   Why do women fall in love wih married men? This is my situation. After 22 years, I got back into touch with this guy that I date in middle school. Back then, we were really close. We lost touch, because my family moved from one side of town to ...

A.   7 February 2011: Leave him alone, he's married! You shouldn't be encouraging him to leave at all, regardless of the reason. Don't be selfish, move on and let him live his life with his family. There's plenty of nice, SINGLE men out there to choose from.... (read in full...)

How do I fend off personal questions from others?

Q.   I'm back. I have relatives, acquaintances, and friends who ask me inappropriate questions. They ask things like "Do you want a girlfriend?" Then if I say "not at the moment", they start to fire more questions at me. They ask if I'm gay, or w...

A.   7 February 2011: I don't think you're being too sensitive, some people (especially relatives) can be very nosy. They don't always mean to be prying, sometimes they just don't know what else to talk about. Many of my relatives are like this too, and never fail to ask ... (read in full...)

My friend wont get over her EX, how much longer do I allow her to mope?

Q.   My friend is really depressed after her boyfriend broke up with her. It was her first relationship and she is in her 20's. He left her a few days before New Years. They had been going out for a little over 2 years. She wont get over him, she mopes ...

A.   7 February 2011: The first thing you need to do is stop being so critical of her. She's has every right to feel depressed and sad, as if a break up isn't emotional enough she had to go through it during the holidays. It was her first relationship and it lasted for 2 ... (read in full...)

Why can't he tell me if I'm his girlfriend or just a friend with benefits?

Q.   Ive been seeing this guy for 2 months and weve been having sex for one month but whenever i start talking serious about a relationship or ask what i am to him he freezes up. why cant he just tell me if im his girlfriend or if im just a friend with ...

A.   7 February 2011: He freezes up because he doesn't know what to say. He doesn't know what he wants, other than regular sex. Sorry to say it, but he probably doesn't think of the relationship as a serious one. You started sleeping together way too soon, and did so ... (read in full...)

He is just not interested?

Q.   I have met a guy on a dating website and we have been out 2x now for something to eat and drink. Physically I quite like him but I feel that the conversation is boring...it's hard work... He also so mean and never offers to pay me a drink.....

A.   5 February 2011: He's not interested in you in the way you want him to be, he's more interested in having someone to complain to and get sympathy from.... (read in full...)

Confused about our relationship status

Q.   I've been seeing this guy for a number of years and he says we're "just seeing each other" and "it means nothing..." When is it going to "mean something" and go further then just "seeing each other"? I dont even know what seeing someone means.... S...

A.   5 February 2011: Uh.. it's been YEARS and you're still just seeing each other? Sorry, but he directly told you it doesn't mean anything to him, that should've been your cue to leave and find someone that isn't such a jerk. It's not ever going to mean something ... (read in full...)

Our "casual" relationship!

Q.   So, I fancied the hell outta one of my collegues , eventually we made out, and texted for days, we have since been sleeping together but are not in a 'relationship' as he said hes 'not a relationship person'. I agreed to this and when asked he says ...

A.   7 January 2011: He messes around with other women because he can, and asks if you're jealous for nothing more than an ego boost. You can't tell him to stop because you're not in a relationship, he's free to do what he likes. I'm sure he likes you, but that doesn't ... (read in full...)

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