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*erenity80

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Why am I always the 'friend' and never the girl friend?

Q.   I am not unattractive and I click with men very easily and I have been very close with them , obviously not at the same time and they have been single ,looking for love like me , but there always seems to be a piece missing in their eyes.What am I ...

A.   23 July 2012: Do you have any close male friends? You should ask them for their honest opinion, as they will definately know the answer.... (read in full...)

Why on earth would a woman say something like that to her husband? Should I start playing the same game, to make her realize that I can stray if I am not getting what I want at home?

Q.   My wife and I are in our mid 40's and have been married a long time. Lately she has been changing quite a bit: working out a lot, getting botox, wearing revealing clothes out with ner girlfriends, communicating with guys she used to know from high ...

A.   27 March 2012: When she said that to you in the bar, you shouldn't have looked upset. You should have responded in a confident way, such as replying "I know sweetie, that's why I married you" and give her a cheeky smile. I think there is probably a lot you can do ... (read in full...)

My g/f has had 35 plus partners and I know 4 of them!

Q.   my girlfriend of 10years has had about 35previous partners an i can't stop thinking about it and 4of them i know. i have these feelings of anger alot i still even think theres more an she is lying an theres a chance she cheated with 2 or 3 aswell im ...

A.   9 March 2012: It sounds to me that you've become depressed about this.. you feel like you've ended up with damaged goods, and a woman who isn't worth anything now she's been passed from man to man without any of them wanting her. You've the loser who got the ... (read in full...)

Is going to the gym scary?

Q.   Hiyaaaa, Well, I've got to a stage in my life where my body isn't going to go any slimmer and as in 6th form (college) we stopped having P.E lesson even though it wasn't exciting I still had fun and its you know exercising! I wanna start going ...

A.   29 February 2012: I started at a gym when I was 17. People either love them or hate them! Check out a gym, phone them up and say you want to look around. They will show you around, and answer any questions you have. You should give it a try, if you don't like it, you ... (read in full...)

What should a teenager wear to a posh restaurant?

Q.   Hey guys, I am to go out with a "friend" on saturday night for dinner and I don't know what to wear, basically. We're both 17 so it's not like I have a suit and I wouldn't really feel comfortable in a shirt/trousers. It is a posh restaurant and i...

A.   26 January 2012: Smart casual is absolutely fine for what you describe. Where a casual shirt which looks "smart" on you, along with a smart pair of jeans and (clean) shoes. See if you can get a haircut a day or two before, remember to cut those finger nai... (read in full...)

I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now

Q.   We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...

A.   18 January 2012: Thanks for the update, I am sure this upsetting incident will actually bring you closer in the long run. All the best.... (read in full...)

I found out my wife had 2 abortions and never told me. I don't know what to do now

Q.   We have been together for 5 years and we got married a few months ago. Recently she got pregnant, however 6-7 weeks later, it turned out to be a miscarriage. During one of the visits at the gyn, the doctor mentioned that this is her third abortion. ...

A.   16 January 2012: Forgive her, she didn't not tell you for any reasons to hurt you. They were probably traumatic times for her, and she probably found it too hard to bring up for all number of reasons. If she had gone out behind your back and cheated on you I co... (read in full...)

Obsessed with wife's prior sexual history

Q.   I have been married for 25 years. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. My wife is a wonderful person. Everyone loves her except my family. My problem(s) stem mostly from my lack of self esteem. I have suffered from clinical depression and a...

A.   10 January 2012: I'm not saying anything you don't already know but this relationship is really not healthy and it is clearly damaging the pair of you. Intentionally withholding affection, what a horrible thing that you are doing. You are pushing your wife awa... (read in full...)

Can an online relationship with a pen-pal guy in prison and me a virgin in UK work?

Q.   I have a prison pen pal, and have been writing for a few months. There is definite connection but last night he asked if we can be in a relationship. I'm in the UK and he is in the US. I am kind of a 'loser' out here in real life. I am 34, still a ...

A.   24 December 2011: This is such a messed up idea. You should have a platonic 'pen-friend' friendship if you want, but if you want a relationship you should address the issues that are stopping you from having one now. You can have a 'real life' relationship with ... (read in full...)

Went through his phone. Not sure what to make of findings

Q.   Huge problem. I went through my boyfriend's phone almost a year ago, found nothing, but he got really pissed and I promised never to again. But I did tonight. And I'm freaking out a little because his friend (a girl) texted him saying if she didn't ...

A.   1 December 2011: I don't think having photos of your bits on your phone constitutes him cheating. I don't know, it seems to me that you need to detail more about what is going on in the relationship. What is the deleting facebook account about? You seem to have ... (read in full...)

I am interested in a 17 year old girl and her mother is encouraging us to have sex! Why??

Q.   I am interested in a 17 year old girl who seems to like me but is a little reserved.She is an only child. Her mother is encouraging the relationship actively. She even told me that sex was okay if I loved her. What is mother up to? I find it a ...

A.   30 November 2011: What, so her mum said to you "It's fine to have sex with her"? That sounds very weird. Did you hear this so-called fact from the 17yr old, or the mum?... (read in full...)

Should I wait like a lady for my boyfriend to pick me up like my mum says?

Q.   My bf of 2 years has night shifts and at the end of the week, I usually drive over to his house and wake him up because he is capable of sleeping till night time (cause of his night shifts)... Well I never saw anything wrong with that cause if we go ...

A.   25 November 2011: Do what works best for you both, but don't be the only one making the effort. Does your boyfriend make efforts in the relationship for you? Or is he lazy, and doesn't make any effort. Did he used to make an effort but things have changed?... (read in full...)

My body failed to respond to my ex boyfriend's caressing.what is wrong with me.am I over him.

Q.   hai everyone.my ex and i have been broken up for six months.it was a bad breakup (he cheated on me),so i broke up with him.but i have forgiven him.well he asked me back and he has shown me signs that he wants this to work,but i don't know what i ...

A.   23 November 2011: You say you have forgiven him, but do you think actually, you haven't? Your body is rejecting him for a very good reason. He is not to be trusted. Of course you still have feelings for him, in that you want to be with him, but that doesn't remove ... (read in full...)

My friend created a fake profile to trap my long distance B/f, when she realized he too had a dating profile. I'm upset at both of them. What do I do?

Q.   I need some advice on a situation with my friend and my Long Distance boyfriend. My friend created an account on a site to meet friends that she found my long distance boyfriend had an account on. She didn't tell me or ask me before doing this, so I ...

A.   23 November 2011: I would feel exactly the same as you. Your friend was out of order. Did she mean well? I don't know. To me, it seems a little nasty that she would go to all the lengths to do that. Is she jealous of you? It sounds like you need to have an honest a... (read in full...)

So lost and hurt after discovering my boyfriend has been sleeping with some of his female friends

Q.   What do I do? i love him so much but i'm so lost and hurt. I found out recently my bf has been sleeping with one of his friends since we got together and then found out he recently had a threesome with two of his other female friends. That and ...

A.   21 November 2011: You're being cheated on, the relationship is over. ... (read in full...)

Should I dump him despite the fact he's given up the porn??

Q.   I have a problem. My boyfriend of nearly seven years has watched and masturbated to pornography throughout behind my back. He has also lied to me when I have caught him out. He even continued to do this whilst I was pregnant and after our baby ...

A.   21 November 2011: It doesn't sound like you two are compatible. If no compromise can be made, there is no other option but go your separate ways.... (read in full...)

I hate my boyfriend's son and ex!

Q.   I really hate the fact my boyfriend has a 15year old son and i hate his ex even though i dont know her.I have very strong hate feelings towards them and i hate it when his son comes to stay.We have been living together for 2 years and i have my own ...

A.   16 November 2011: You have a lot of hate inside you. Are you insecure that you don't feel enough because he also has these other significant others in his life? I don't think this relationship will work unless u can feel more secure and get over your anger. Anger ... (read in full...)

Is surgery worth loss of sensitivity?

Q.   I'm not talking about implants! I know most men are against implants but are for other surgeries(reductions, lifts, nipple reductions etc) From your point of view, do you think better looking breasts are worth the loss of sensitivity? ...

A.   16 November 2011: What do you mean by "ugly". ugly to who? You are assuming they are ugly to men, aren't you.. but you are very wrong there. Your time would be better spent having more confidence in yourself and your body instead of wishing to change it. I... (read in full...)

My husband wants me to be in charge in the bedroom and I don't know what to do!

Q.   My husband has expressed a desire for me to be "in charge" in the bedroom. I am not experienced in that area whatsoever. What do I need to do to give my husband the "woman in charge" sex that he wants?...

A.   16 November 2011: I think he means he wants to see a confident sexual side to you as this will make him feel desired and wanted by you. I am talking along the lines of making the first move and talking suggestively to him about how you want him, and be physical... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is extremely lazy, has no ambitions in life and his personal hygiene is a big issue!

Q.   My boyfriend is extremely lazy and has no ambitions in life. He doesn't do his schoolwork, puts everything off till last minute, has no eagerness to do anything. When I come over his house, usually I would want to go somewhere but he will instead ...

A.   16 November 2011: It sounds like you do want to break up, but feel worried because you think 2 years is a long time together, and you think you won't meet any one else. 2 years is nothing, better than wasting 20 years of your life with the wrong person. You wil... (read in full...)

Now that we are official she won't do "special" things to me!

Q.   Hi, I've been in a relationship with this woman (on and off) for almost 3 years. At first, the sex was ridiculous (we weren't official at first, just friends with benefits.) But now, since we've officially decided to be in a committed rel...

A.   15 November 2011: I guess you either need to accept this new behaviour, or leave her - explaining your reasons.... (read in full...)

My girlfriend seems to have lost interest in sex

Q.   So me and my gf have been dating for almost a year now ( 11 months to be exact). we had sex already...for some reason my penis size really bothers me... i am about 1-2 inch flaccid only and about 4-4.5 inch erected... i have a rather small ...

A.   15 November 2011: Sex is not the problem here, it's your confidence. You need to work on that, and the rest will fall in to place. If you are consistently feeling down it's going to affect your girlfriend and that will affect her sex drive. You also need to focus ... (read in full...)

I don't know how to take care of kids, I don't think they're cute, I don't like them or know what to do with them, and I don't want one, ever.

Q.   Today I was talking with my mom, and my sister, who joined in, and they said it was wierd that I have no maternal instinct. Every woman in my family, and even a lot of men LOVE babies and kids, whenever there's a baby around, everyone coos over it, ...

A.   15 November 2011: No, it's not weird at your age at all. I think you are WAY over thinking this in the fact you are thinking of fostering in the future! Enjoy your life as it is now, the desire to have kids will probably come later on.... (read in full...)

Girlfriend is contacting her ex. What should I do?

Q.   Me and my girlfriend are going through a real rough patch at the minute, i found phone calls and texts to her ex on her phone bill, but she said he was pestering her and she was telling him to leave us alone, this phone call lasted about 38 minutes, ...

A.   14 November 2011: She's potentially straying because she is not happy in the relationship. You need to go back to making it more fun, making it so that she WANTS to be in a relationship with you. If you were a great boyfriend, she would not be looking for attentio... (read in full...)

My first boyfriend ... And how do I tell my overprotective dad?

Q.   I'm 13 years old and I have just started to go out with this boy. This is my first ever boyfriend. My overprotective dad says I can't have a boyfriend till I'm 15?!? But he knows I'm trustworthy and I've told my mum already and she said she is ...

A.   14 November 2011: You would be a very wise and sensible girl to listen to your dad, even if you don't understand why he is telling you these things. He is telling you because he knows what is best for you. I do not agree your dad is "overprotective"... (read in full...)

His ultimatum: Get rid of my online friends and date site profiles,or he is going to leave!

Q.   My boyfriend of 6 months has given me an ultimatum. Either I get rid of my on line friends and Date Site profiles,or he is going to leave. I have been on them for 3 years and enjoy it. I feel a bit like he is telling me what to do. Which shall I go ...

A.   14 November 2011: 6 months in on a relationship and you still have an active dating profile? Why would you do this? I suspect you don't think this guy is the one for you, or you would have deleted those profiles long ago. If I were dating a girl for 6 months a... (read in full...)

My fiance told me he had sex with some girl his friends knew a month before we met. Should I be concerned?

Q.   My fiance is away for a while visiting his grandma in his hometown, and we were talking on video chat from facebook, and we started talking about when the last time we had sex with other people before we met. Before, he told me when we were dating ...

A.   14 November 2011: Why is this kind of conversation coming up when you are engaged to each other? Sounds like you have got engaged too early in your relationship as you clearly don't know enough about each other about the things that are important to you. I don't th... (read in full...)

My Gf wants to get a tattoo of her ex who died and it worries me that I'll always be a second choice in her life

Q.   Hi i am in a dilema my girlfriend wants to get a tattoo of her ex 's name who died it worries not cause im jealous but because im afraid of being her second choice and not being able to make her as happy as he did i dont wana tell her not to get the ...

A.   11 November 2011: It sounds like she has not got over her ex and is still mourning his passing. Is she as young as you? Hopefully this idea of getting a tattoo will pass. She'll probably regret it, having to have a tattoo the rest of her life to remember a boyfri... (read in full...)

Why do some guys like women to send them nude pictures???

Q.   Before I say anything just thought i say that DO NOT judge me for this cause I`ve beaten myself up about it and regret it, plus i`m an adult. Also i have another question which relates to my post so instead of making another post I decided to post ...

A.   11 November 2011: Stop beating yourself up, you've been with this guy 2 years. Do you have a future together? If so, see what you have done as something special for him. You're only choosing to see it as "disrespecting" your body. Maybe this is true if you were ... (read in full...)

Broke her heart and lost her over Facebook, no excuses. But is what I did truly unforgiveable? I still love her.

Q.   I Broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago. I sexted a girl on facebook when i was drunk. It was wrong and it was the only time it happened even though i dont remember doing it and my facebook was hacked when this was happening. Multiple sex stuf...

A.   11 November 2011: Maybe she wanted to get out of the relationship anyway, and has used what happened as an excuse to get free? All I can say is.. learn from this, but don't feel you are any less good. She is obviously wanting to purposely make you feel bad. Bes... (read in full...)

I can't see a future for us while her weed-smoking, unemployed brother is living here!

Q.   Ive moved into my girlfriends home 6 months ago knowing the fact that her brother lives with her. We both have good jobs and money is not an issue but her 33 yr old brother (thats been living with her for the last 5yrs) doesnt work and hasnt since ...

A.   10 November 2011: You are the man, and you are 41 - 50 years old! Get a good enough job to get your own place, and have your girlfriend move in with you. ... (read in full...)

My wife shared a hotel room with a male colleague!

Q.   Is it ever OK for a married woman to spend the night in a hotel room with another man? My wife has been working at this new job for 2 years. The company scheduled an out of town trip for seminars which will help her get a promotion that s...

A.   10 November 2011: You have a good right to be upset. What happens if this guy wanted to try it on with your wife? She would have been in an awful situation and it would have been you and her left to pick up the pieces. She should NEVER have been put in that situ... (read in full...)

Dangers of Porn

Q.   I was listening to the recent case of Vincent Tabak who killed his neighbour after he had watched violent porn, particularly of men placing their hands around woman's throats and tying them up in the boot of a car!!! So what did he do, he strangled ...

A.   9 November 2011: Well said Gabrielle, I like to see a reasonable and sensible argument; and you didn't need to refer outside to a reference or statistic once.... (read in full...)

Why do I attract horrible guys?

Q.   Why do I keep attracting horrible guys? what is wrong with me?:(? Am a nice sweet girl, am loyal, caring loving would never lie or cheat on my bf. Each time I meet a guy, they all seem so sweet and find me amazing and I'd think we're in...

A.   9 November 2011: You're still really young, and many guys at this age are horrible and want one thing. You should get to know someone more slowly and find out what is important to them, for example find out their morals and values. See how they are around their... (read in full...)

How can I trust him knowing he was sneaking around on some dating site?

Q.   My bf and I have been together for 2 yrs. Well just the other day I found out he signed up for a dating site. I know that it was somewhat recent because in his description it said has a kid and we have a 4 month old daughter together. Well I co...

A.   9 November 2011: I agree with YouWish. His behaviour is a symptom of a problem in the relationship and it is for both of you together to tackle that, to communicate your feelings better to each other about what is wrong, and working out a plan to work at fixing ... (read in full...)

How can I forget these images of my girlfriend with her ex's?

Q.   I want to know how can I take my mind off things from my girlfriend. She had sex with t different guys before she met me and several times with them but now I'm with her and since she told me I really got mad. It gave me the bad picture of thinking ...

A.   8 November 2011: No no no, you don't love her. Not yet. If you continue in the relationship, and come to accept her past without it negatively affecting the way you treat her, that will be love. At the moment you are highly attracted to her and want her to ... (read in full...)

I cheat on my boyfriend but I love him and! don't want to break up

Q.   I cheat on my boyfriend and am more uninterested then I used to be, but I love him and don't want to break up. What is wrong with me? I'm not a victim and I'm not looking for sympathy. What I have done is wrong and I have issues that I need to fix, ...

A.   8 November 2011: I think you have a confused idea of what love is. You see, love is not about you, but about the other person. It is about putting what they want above yourself. Therefore you don't love him. I don't disagree that you have many feelings for him,... (read in full...)

One for the guys: is sex with someone new still special when you've had previous partners?

Q.   Gentlemen of DC, when you're in a relationship with someone new, is having sex with them still a special experience even if you've had previous girlfriends? Apologies if this comes across as a rather daft question - I'm feeling a bit insecure about ...

A.   8 November 2011: Definately. When emotions are involved, each person is totally unique and special.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants our LDR to be an open relationship...

Q.   My boyfriend and I had been dating about three months when our relationship became long distance due to circumstances beyound our control. It's been three months since I had to move, and we've only been able to see each other once since then. ...

A.   8 November 2011: Time to face facts.. this relationship is as good as over. He basically wants to have sex with other women, whilst keeping you as a backup option for the future. If he was really in to you, he would not be suggesting that he sleep with other... (read in full...)

Shouldn't I feel something (anything!) on the first date?

Q.   I'm trying to forget this man I fell hard for and get into a committed relationship. It's hard but I'm trying. I went on a date and though the man was nice, cute boyish face, and we had a lot in common-I didn't feel anything. I hoped and hoped he ...

A.   8 November 2011: Sounds like either he aint the right guy for you, or you aren't allowing yourself to let go of this other guy. Don't try to "forget" this past guy, rather "accept" that it is over. Give yourself the chance to meet a new guy, they could be WAY b... (read in full...)

Broke her heart and lost her over Facebook, no excuses. But is what I did truly unforgiveable? I still love her.

Q.   I Broke up with my girlfriend 2 months ago. I sexted a girl on facebook when i was drunk. It was wrong and it was the only time it happened even though i dont remember doing it and my facebook was hacked when this was happening. Multiple sex stuf...

A.   8 November 2011: Tell her one more time how you feel about her, and that if she does not want to give it another try then you need to cut all contact forever and move on with your lifes seperately, explain that the reason is because you love her and it's too ... (read in full...)

Obsessed with wife's prior sexual history

Q.   I have been married for 25 years. We have a wonderful 11 year old son. My wife is a wonderful person. Everyone loves her except my family. My problem(s) stem mostly from my lack of self esteem. I have suffered from clinical depression and a...

A.   11 January 2011: Wow man. I'm quite taken aback at your message. I have to say, I did read it in its entirety and I feel for you but I don't think anyone on the Internet is going to help you solve what are seriously deep issues within yourself. It sounds like you... (read in full...)

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