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Boyfriend's emotion letter to ex for closure has left me feeling second best

Q.   I'm in a confused relationship, my boyfriend of 3 years (were living together) send a closure to his ex-gf behind my back. She cheated on him with another guy 5 years before we got together. He already told me that he dated one girl after her before ...

A.   20 May 2017: I feel your pain. This happened to me before and I left. Best thing I ever did. I would advise that you do the same. He's not over her. He's still in love with her. You are there to fill the void but he still feels empty without her. Don't ... (read in full...)

I'm 18 years older than him, I know its crazy but its so intoxicating!

Q.   I feel like I've completely lost my mind here, so maybe someone can give me some perspective. I'm a 38 year-old mother of one. I've been divorced for years. I've always thought of myself as a rational person until now. For reasons I cannot explain, ...

A.   20 May 2017: I agree with chigirl. I think it is great that you are taking this opportunity to enjoy life and experience some happiness and excitement. Who knows where this relationship will lead. The point is that you got an opportunity to experience joy and ... (read in full...)

Can a relationship work when you love their personality but aren't attracted to them sexually?

Q.   I talked to a guy for a long time via text before actually meeting him. I loved talking to him and we share the same humour. Upon meeting him I continue to love his personality but I am not physically attracted to him. Can a relationship ever work ...

A.   20 May 2017: If he is an amazing lover then yes. I've dated guys that I was not physically attracted to at first. The ones that I fell in love with were absolutely amazing in bed. The ones that were just so so, I quickly lost interest. ... (read in full...)

I'm worried how rude the nurses will be

Q.   Im going into hospital tomorrow for a minor procedure and the nurses are known to be nasty, what can i do? Am staying overnight and on the ward im going to overnight on the nurses are well known to be sarcastic and cold... I have spoken to s...

A.   19 May 2017: I know exactly how you feel. I've been hospitalised twice in my life where I had to stay a few nights. I've had some really lovely nurses, but I had some really horrible ones. My last hospital stay was particularly bad because one of the night ... (read in full...)

She's pushing but it seems too soon

Q.   Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...

A.   13 May 2017: I think you need to be very clear and honest with her about your intentions and you have to be prepared to face the consequences. She has her heart set on getting engaged to you after investing 3 years of her life into this relationship. If you ... (read in full...)

I'm upset my girlfriends parents haven't integrated

Q.   So me and my girlfriend have been dating for three and a half years and renting a flat together for a year. We have a good relationship, are very much in love and plan our future together. There is, however, one issue that drives me insane. Her pare...

A.   13 May 2017: I live in a very multicultural city where many different languages can be overheard on a street corner, the bus, the grocery store, etc. It has become the norm really. It is a plus to become multi-linguistic here. If I travel to a city in Quebec, ... (read in full...)

How do guys cope with knowing their Gf's ex was well endowed? Do girls miss it and just settle ?

Q.   Hello all, I have always struggled with intimate things as I would be worried about if my partner had been with very well endowed men. I know that statistically most guys will have to deal with that. But how do they? It always seems like...

A.   15 April 2017: My ex husband was well endowed and I did not enjoy sex with him. It was very painful and I could not wait for it to be over. It was awful. I've also been with a guy who was less than average size but my God the sex was amazing because he somehow ... (read in full...)

My Gf attends functions with her friends by herself in order to avoid the risk of losing face. This concerns me. How should I handle this?

Q.   I have a problem and I need some sound advice. I'm caucasian and my girlfriend is asian. We both get along great except for one big issue in our lives, and that revolves around how she worries about how some in her community may frown upon inte...

A.   8 April 2017: Personally I would not date anyone who was not proud to be seen with me. I've been on both sides of the fence regarding this issue: The one who did not want to be seen with my partner (I did not feel comfortable being seen with him because deep ... (read in full...)

Coping strategies would be appreciated for bad office situation!

Q.   Not a relationship problem but hoped you guys could give me a bit of advice. I work in a small company of just over 20 staff, most of us working in a large open plan office. One of the women, who is in her 30s, has taken to wearing short SH...

A.   8 April 2017: If this had happened in my office, the person who is improperly dressed will be sent home immediately without pay for that day. The same thing would happen if someone was wearing a strong perfume. The HR department sends out regular e-mails to the ... (read in full...)

Getting my love's past behavior out of my head

Q.   Dear agony aunt, Please bear with me – my story might be a little long. But to make it short I work as an expat in a foreign country. I’m in my early thirties and about six months ago I met women who is 7 years my senior (also an expat, albeit...

A.   1 April 2017: She is being very vulnerable with you, by opening up and telling you about her past experiences. This means she trusts and loves you. In a way, it's a test to see if you will accept her even with these mistakes. Nothing feels safer than opening ... (read in full...)

Husband's penis smells like condoms and we never use them!

Q.   Yesterday my husband came very late from work, and he had been drinking and his penis smelled like condoms!, Earlier he called me from work and said hey! I want to take you to the mall and didn't say for what reason, he wanted it to be a surprise ...

A.   11 March 2017: If your instincts are telling you that your husband is cheating then most likely he is. The red flags are certainly there. He will never confess to cheating. The only way to find out for sure is to do some investigations yourself or if you can ... (read in full...)

People changing their minds about crushing on you years later...

Q.   When someone turns you down romantically or makes no time for your friendship, then years later they see you again. Suddenly, like nothing has happened they are all over you, and suddenly attracted you. Do you give them a chance or leave them? ...

A.   14 January 2017: I would call them out on it and ask them all the hard questions that they probably don't want to answer. If there are any unresolved feelings on your part then you need to confront them about it and talk it out. If they run away from you because ... (read in full...)

Should I listen to my heart or to my mind?

Q.   Hi, i have fallen for my assistant. Its just that we are so different. We come from different strata s of society, different upbringing and different religion. We have different tastes. But we get along very well in office. Now i cant stop thinking...

A.   14 January 2017: “Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.” - Rumi It's best to pursue something now and find out if the relationship will work, rather than live with regret years later and exist in... (read in full...)

I'm concerned that my wife is texting a younger male co-worker outside of work!

Q.   My wife is a manager in a small store of 20 employees. She texts and Facebook messages a male employee half her age. The texts/messages are both work related and non work related. Non work related include videos of songs and home decor along basic ...

A.   14 January 2017: I think your insecurity is getting the better of you. If you dictate who your wife should be friends with because you are either jealous or don't think you measure up, that's not good. This is your issue. Not hers. If it was a female employee, ... (read in full...)

How do I tell a sexting creep I'm not interested without hurting him.

Q.   Hi every one, I need help to tell him I'm nit interested. I had a one night stand about 5 months ago, and have been texting him since. But he has tried sexting me for a few weeks now, I keep trying to change the subject, but he's not getting ...

A.   31 December 2016: Be direct. Tell him exactly how you feel. You don't need to be mean to him. You just need to be truthful, clear and direct. The truth may disappoint him, but it's not your responsibility to coddle him, and you should not feel guilty about being ... (read in full...)

22 years in a loveless abusive marriage. What should I do?

Q.   Have been living a loveless marriage for 22yrs, always abusing me verbally like am not pretty, not compatible, he's always the one that brings quarrel telling me to go. But the kids am afraid of quitting am also from a broken home I knew what I ...

A.   26 November 2016: You have to develop the inner strength and courage to leave him. The only thing I can assure you is that there is nothing to fear when you step out into the unknown. Somehow guardian angels show up in the form of strangers to help. Somehow you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't act like a boyfriend

Q.   So.... My boyfriend and I have been together 3 years and are living together. We rarely argue. My problem is that most of the time I feel like I don't have a boyfriend. No texts or calls from him unless he has a question. When he gets home from work ...

A.   19 November 2016: You should read up on the 5 languages of love: "It outlines five ways to express and experience love that Chapman calls "love languages": receiving gifts, quality time, words of affirmation, acts of service (devotion), ... (read in full...)

My partner is more interested in pleasing his mother than me

Q.   My fiancé and I have just discovered that I'm pregnant and our wedding was booked for the same month the baby is due so we've decided to bring it forward. We've given our small party of 40 guests the new date which is still 3 months away and ...

A.   22 October 2016: Time to put your foot down. Either it's going to be the date that you selected or no wedding until you are ready to walk down the aisle. The mother is being very unreasonable. If you don't put your foot down now, she is going to rule the roost in ... (read in full...)

Why did he present as single and not wear any ring? Only telling me later? I broke up, but now he's pursuing me. How do I handle this?

Q.   I'm a divorced mom of 2 children. Single for almost 3 years now. I am tall, thin, athletic, and would consider myself a 7.5 – 8, however, six nights a month doesn’t really allow a lot of free time to date. About 7 months ago, I met a very cute ...

A.   8 October 2016: I think he is an experienced cheater and you're not the only one he's cheating on his wife with. He is using your vulnerability to get some action on the side. He knew exactly how to play you and he enjoys the thrill of the chase and the sneaking ... (read in full...)

I believe my husband’s client was flirting with him! She shared way too much personal information!

Q.   My husband is a building contractor and recently met with a woman to give an estimate for repairs at her residence. I accompanied him as we were on our way to dinner after this as it was in the early evening hours however, I remained in the vehicle ...

A.   10 September 2016: In a job like his one and in any customer / client oriented jobs, you will always get a customer who shares too much information, but if you want the job and a good recommendation afterwards, you shut up and listen. It is part of good customer ... (read in full...)

Should I say anything to my best friend about her new relationship?

Q.   Just wondering what people's thoughts are on this. My best friend has been single almost constantly for 10 years and obviously at times this has got her really down and I've often had to pick up the pieces. She saw a guy briefly for about three ...

A.   10 September 2016: I don't think this has anything to do with a deal breaker. I think she feels a spark and connection with this guy that makes her want to explore a relationship with him. In the end that is what we are all seeking with someone else...a connection.... (read in full...)

Is it fair? Is he expecting me to pay more than my share?

Q.   Hi everyone my boyfriend and me have just got a house together we have 2 kids we have lived together for 4 months now the problem is he agreed to pay the rent while I pay the gas electric and water food and things for the kids I have 2 jobs only...

A.   10 September 2016: I'm a bit old fashioned when it comes to these issues. I know that in this day and age it should be 50/50, but you are making less money than he is and for me personally I would expect that he handle most of the major bills. For eg. Rent and other ... (read in full...)

How do I meet bisexual people?

Q.   So I've recently decided to explore my fantasies about being with another man. I discovered I enjoy being with a man sexually but still prefer to have relationships with women. I have very little experience as a bi sexual and would like advice on ...

A.   10 September 2016: Try a gay bar. There is also a website called grindr.... (read in full...)

Neighbors won't share parking spaces

Q.   Hi, my question is not a relationship question but I need your suggestion. I live in a 2 floor apartment. The first floor neighbors are a couple in their early 30s. We didn't have a parking and I wanted to leave few months ago for this reason but my ...

A.   10 September 2016: This is not childish at all. You have a legitimate concern. I think that you should address this to your landlord and ask him to make sure that there is a parking space for you and ask him to ensure that your neighbours understand that one parking ... (read in full...)

Has this instant connection got a future?

Q.   Several years ago I started dog-sitting for a couple, grew close to their dogs, and eventually them. I have since been through the death of one of the dogs, and the adoption of another. More importantly, I have become rather close to the husba...

A.   3 September 2016: You've got to take this chance and ask her out. Otherwise you will be living with the "what if" and "if only" for the rest of your life. The worst scenario is that she will say no but at least you will know that it was not meant to be. If she ... (read in full...)

Do other guys feel this resentment ? It's making me question my sexuality

Q.   I have this issue with my sexual identity and was wondering if other gay men possibly feel the same way. Cutting to the point, I feel jealous towards gay men or bisexual men who have or has had sexual relationships with women I can't exactly desc...

A.   27 August 2016: I think you should pay for the experience of being with a woman, meaning you should hire someone. I think it will be unfair to a woman or anyone if you "use" them to experiment with, unless you are honest with them from the start and she is a ... (read in full...)

Nice girl/ compliments/ kinda hard to understand/ help?

Q.   Hey everybody! How is it going? I need your guys help on this thing, I've never had a longboard relationship, but i blame it on me, I never had patience to put up with relationship issues and never looked for it. Although, I also never had proble...

A.   27 August 2016: Sorry man. She is not interested in you at all:(... (read in full...)

Boyfriend is insisting I sell my house

Q.   I'm a women in her late 40's and my boyfriend of 5 years is in his mid 50's. Both of us have been married 2x's and we both have children in teen's and early 20's. I own my home and he lives in a family member's extra home in a different city. He ...

A.   27 August 2016: Red flag. Red flag. Red flag. Don't let him manipulate you into giving up something that you love and cherish. You'll end up living with regret afterwards. Tell him that the answer is No.... (read in full...)

How could I make things work? I love my cousin

Q.   My cousin and i talk frequently by phone. We text and message each other a lot. I never experienced such love and comprehension for any man (not even my ex husband) like i do for him. I love him from the heart. But my feelings towards him are ...

A.   30 July 2016: In some cultures it's acceptable to marry your first cousin. If you come from a culture that accepts it, then I would suggest that you speak to your parents about it and have them arrange the marriage...if this is what you want.... (read in full...)

Is it fair that I don't want my boyfriend to go drinking with his female colleagues?

Q.   Hey guys :) so I've boyfriend for 6 years now, we are usually very happy, and we've been living together for 1 year. Neither of us go out drinking a lot (we are both very homely). Well recently boyfriend started a new office job, and his team has...

A.   30 July 2016: I don't think you should forbid him to go out with his work colleagues. That's too controlling. How would you feel if he put restrictions on your outings? This is more about your insecurities, which you need to deal with. Going out with his work ... (read in full...)

Am I being too demanding and demonstrating a "princess attitude" for expecting a Lil common courtesy?

Q.   I am 36 years old not much experienced in dating. If a guy is supposed to pick you up at 2.00 to 3.00 and until 1 pm didn't tell you of any change of plans. When you message him at 2.15 informs you that he won't be able to make it. Is it commo...

A.   2 July 2016: I think he's still seeing this other girl and you are his side chick. I would break up with someone like that. I don't care if someone accuses me of having a princess attitude. If a man does not treat me well, I will find another man who want... (read in full...)

Is this fair? I've developed depression due to my concerns. Should she be contributing more? She leaves me to pay everything in order for us to live

Q.   I'm feeling incredibly depressed lately. Be been married for 1year, we've been together for over 6years. I really do love her but I feel like she is bringing nothing to our relationship. She got a great degree from a state university, she cou...

A.   2 July 2016: You need to have a serious talk with her about sharing the responsibility of running a home, and by serious I mean you have to be firm. You should show her visually (maybe by means of a spreadsheet) how much money is involved in running a ... (read in full...)

Four months into the relationship, so why is he choosing to sleep in a different bed to me?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm dating a guy younger than me for past 4 months. We hang around in his place during weekend. It's the second time I find him sleeping in living room because he says he steal his blanket and he can't sleep or I turn around a lot. ...

A.   25 June 2016: It doesn't sound like the two of you are compatible for each other. The thrill of the relationship seems to be waning, so it's natural to just drift apart. I would suggest you keep your options open for a more compatible mate.... (read in full...)

Not sure if 'No' means no for good

Q.   Asked a female out for a drink from the office of where I work and she said she would get back to me. And she did, unfortunately it wasn't good news. It was a rejection reply. I absolutely hate them. Anyway she explained she wasn't able to see me ...

A.   25 June 2016: It could be that she's going through something personal and private and does not think it's appropriate to go into details about why she is busy. It also could be that she is not interested in you. Either way, I'd say give it a couple of months ... (read in full...)

My friend has gone away to work on a project. Plus family issues and my own sadness. How can I go forward?

Q.   My father drinks a lot and it's having an effect on his relationship with my mother. I feel powerless and feel I can't doing anything to make it right. They argue, swear at each other and doors always slam. I've told dad to go to counselling...

A.   4 June 2016: It sounds like you are having a really tough time. I can empathize because I was in the same situation when I was your age. The one thing that saved me from falling into a deep depression is that I got out of that situation and moved out on my ... (read in full...)

Confused and angry with myself for caring

Q.   Hi everyone I lost my lovely husband 2 years ago and recently found someone else who I thought was very nice and charming. Although to begin with I was not very interested he was so nice and attentive and I felt flattered that someone was ...

A.   14 September 2015: Don't beat yourself up about this. It happens to the best of us. Call it an experience and try to look at all the positives you got out of it. He came into your life to make you feel wanted, desired and loved again, and he helped you move on from ... (read in full...)

Is there ever a right time to give someone a piece of your mind?

Q.   Help. My friend who I thought was a friend was making a play for my man all along. We split up and he blocked me and then chose her instead of me, but mainly because she was stirring things up between us with lies and my ex chose to believe her ...

A.   29 August 2015: Go for it sweetheart. Tell that B&*^% off. It feels good to blow your top once in a while, and in this situation, you have a damn right to tell her off, using any and all profanity you wish to express. Get it out of your system, and then purge ... (read in full...)

I'm dating a woman who's bigger and I'm totally into her. Why do some people question my choice, my preferences and my motives?

Q.   There seems to be an issue that's come up a lot in my life and I'm wondering if others have perhaps have experienced the same thing. Ever since I was a teenager I have been more attracted to females that are more full-figured. Its not that I don...

A.   23 August 2015: Sizeism: prejudice or discrimination on the grounds of a person's size. I don't think this kind of discrimination has been brought to the forefront like racism or homophobia. A lot of people discriminate against size. Your post really gives a ... (read in full...)

Why would this woman I thought was my friend turn on me and befriend my daughter?

Q.   I have had a friend for nearly 20 years. At least, I always thought of her as a friend. We first met when I was a struggling single parent who was attending college classes and working. We bonded immediately at a church function and would spend ...

A.   22 August 2015: Maybe she is going through a tough time in her life and is taking it out on the people she loves. Bitterness / depression / mental illness can lead to erratic behaviour like this. When someone is depressed, mentally stressed or on the verge of a ... (read in full...)

Why do most guys like big boobs so much?

Q.   Why do most men (especially guys my age...) like big boobs so much? As I see it, it's just extra fat! And last time I checked, for men, too much fat is bad. I have small breasts and feel so inadequate. Breasts are so "out there" (unlike a penis - ...

A.   13 August 2015: I know a lot of men who do not like big boobs. One man even said that he loves a mouthful, no more, and he had a small mouth;) As far as I'm concerned big boobs is just a fad. At one time, the "Twiggy" look was in and she hardly had any boobs. ... (read in full...)

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