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*azyGuy's profile:

I am 37 year old dutch male who used to think he was the mythical "nice guy" but realized that he really was just to lazy to be bad.

Worked a lot of different jobs, going where-ever the money happens to be and traveled a bit.

Latest articles:

Men can't read women

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

30 March 2008: Slashdot is a geek site focussing mostly on tech. Relationship advice is not something you will find there, but this story just has to be mentioned.

1234567891011Next > [60 pages, 2342 answers]

I am interested in a man that bakes alot o f cookies. Is he Gay?

Q.   I have a wonderful life. I have everything bit cannot find love. I have been very unlucky in my search for love. M question is , I met a man that works at my gym. I am attracted to him. Everytme , I goto the gym he comes over and talks to me ...

A.   2 February 2013: Well, you did talk to him a lot it seems. If he is more interested in himself then he would have turned every subject onto himself and rarely would have asked your opinion in something. You: I went to Spain on holiday. Self-focused him:... (read in full...)

I feel more like I have a child than a relationship and my ex is always on my mind!

Q.   Hey everyone, I completely forgot I had an account on here. It seemed everything was going all right for me (finally!) but of course nothing good seems to last forever. And sorry about this post, it's probably going to be long. But I need help. . ...

A.   2 February 2013: This post isn't going to be very nice: I think you are a little girl afraid of men and therefor playing with boys but frustrated they don't behave like men. It seems rather a big coincidence that neither of the two boys you are after for a matu... (read in full...)

Is it possible to get my ill boyfriend to understand that everything I do isn't on purpose to make him angry?

Q.   I have been living w/ my boyfriend for 4 years. We own a business together that is rockin. He was diagnosed w/ cancer only 6 months into our relationship and has not been able to work. I have been pretty much doing 90% of the work in the co. Along ...

A.   2 February 2013: So... this guy after a diagnosis of cancer continued smoking for over 3 years? That to me is a gigantic red flag. Especially since the cancer is apparently so bad (or the treatment is) that he hasn't been able to work since diagnosis. I am sadly... (read in full...)

My boyfriend makes plans and then can't keep them claiming that he has forgotten. This happens all the time!

Q.   I am 27 and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. The problem is he always forgets about plans we make and ends up cancelling on me at the last minute. For example, months ago we were invited out to a meal for my friend's birthday which is ...

A.   2 February 2013: I get from your story that he isn't just forgetting stuff when it comes to you but that he is like this in general. That means he is disorganized. He also refuses to use a diary considering it "losery". That means he is an idiot and a lose... (read in full...)

How can we help our daughter get through college when she's being bullied about being masculine?

Q.   Our 18-year-old daughter told us she had something to announce yesterday. We waited to hear, and were surprised by what she said; she admitted she felt like she should have a gender reassignment [her words!] and that people bully her in college ...

A.   30 January 2013: When you are young, everything is more urgent, more pressing, more extreme. But lets look at the fact. She is not butch. She doesn't get bullied in her chosen classes and she has a diverse number of friends. But I would say she is a bit of an ou... (read in full...)

Why do people have to make comments that are hurtful?

Q.   Dear Cupid, The other night I was talking to this guy that I know fairly well but is still considered an acquaintance. We were texting and he asked "why do you wear so much makeup? Not to say you look bad but i'm sure you're pretty naturally...

A.   30 January 2013: Because it is easier to say "don't mean to offend" then not to offend. I don't think he meant to hurt your feelings, just that he thought you were just waiting for his critique to complete you as a person. You weren't. Ignore it. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend can't keep it up and I'm ready to walk!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years. We came across a sex problem after about 6 mths. The problem was, he couldn't stay hard and we got into an about that aftet it happened several times cuz I was left hanging. Now, it...

A.   30 January 2013: A vacuum cleaner? Please tell me you meant vacuum pump (penis pump) because if you mean the machine you do the floors with... YIKES. It is soft tissue, it can be damaged. Penis pumps don't even work and I have read claims that they may even be ... (read in full...)

I was wondering if there was any sort of vitamins or remedies I can take or use, to help boost my ever so low libido.

Q.   So I'm here for some advice about my sex drive/low libido whatever you want to name it. I'm 20 years old been with my boyfriend for 10 months. I'm a virgin he isn't. So our sex life isn't brilliant but our relationship is great except for the s...

A.   29 January 2013: There are lots of reasons a woman might have a low sex drive. There are yet more reasons why she might not lubricate. But before we send you to a doctor, do you masturbate? Ever? And then did things work as expected? Another post a bit highe... (read in full...)

Is my Bf bi-sexual or gay? He says he's shared oral sex with guys. Do I seem to have a closed mind?

Q.   My boyfriend of 3 months recently told me that has fooled around with men before. He hasn't had sex with them, just oral. I wasn't ok with this when he told me and I am having a really hard time with it. A lot of people tell me that if a guys e...

A.   29 January 2013: It is classic research that for the first time proved scientifcally that most people are neither 100% straight not 100% gay in their feelings ALTHOUGH they might behave as such. How they behave m... (read in full...)

Her need to pee is really getting in the way of our sex life

Q.   my girlfriend stops me in the middle of sex frequently and says she is afraid she needs to pee. i hate to say it, but it's beginning to ruin the mood, as it's hard to get into it when she's stopping all the time. now don't get me wrong, i underta...

A.   29 January 2013: The pre-lude to the female orgasm is often described as feeling the need/urge to pee. Has she ever had an orgasm before? During masturbation? Perhaps an option is to use some towels or do it in an area she doesn't need to worry and experi... (read in full...)

Your thoughts on this? He's verbally abusive, spends time online gaming and watching porn. Have to ask him for his % share of bills. Is this relationship working or is there an answer?

Q.   hey guys i am writing this because i am at the end of tether with this man who is supposed to be my husband. We have been married for 4 years and it was long distance. I moved to the US about a year ago and since coming here my relations...

A.   29 January 2013: Usually, when a man changes, there is something that caused it. Something major often, at least to him. But did he change? I find it a bit of a coincedence that the moment you two started living together, things fell apart. What exactly was the ... (read in full...)

Why did my B/f have three naked pictures of the same girl on his phone?

Q.   I have been with my partner nearly two years now, he has never been the type to admire any other girls ever.. he got a new phone and when he had it I said would you like some pictures of me to get off to when I'm not around he refused and said he ...

A.   29 January 2013: So... what is upsetting you more. The other girl (talking about porn or pictures he made himself (and when did he make them)) OR that he is treating you as a fool? Oh and in the news: http://abcnew... (read in full...)

My boyfriend watches an inordinate amount of porn.

Q.   I feel like this is a question that's been asked over and over again, and will probably be asked again many times in the future. My boyfriend watches an inordinate amount of porn. He's 22. While the fact that he's watching porn seriously bugs me,...

A.   29 January 2013: What is an inordinate amount of porn? Anyway, if he hadn't come to pick you up because he was watching the soccer, in the pub or any other reason, wouldn't it just be as bad? If the hospital appointment was for anything even remotely serious ... (read in full...)

A virgin dating a player. I'm scared about having sex with him!

Q.   Hey everyone, I'm dating a well known business man of my city,and even before I knew him I'd read about how he's a player and is not really looking for a relationship,I never ever thought for the life of me I'd date him some day!so when I got into...

A.   24 January 2013: "he has definitely changed for me in terms of being a player" Not just a virgin, naive too. Enjoy being a disillusioned ex-virgin.... (read in full...)

My 19 year old stepdaughter is having an affair with a man 30 years her senior. We can't make her see reason!

Q.   My 19 yr old step daughter is having an affair with a 49 yr old rep that delivers hair products to the salon where she works. Her dad knows but doesn't care and her mother and I are worried sick he is only after one thing. He takes her away for ...

A.   20 January 2013: When I was a young men and dinosaurs walked the earth, I dived of bridges into shallow water and raced a dirt-bike across a forest-path at night without lights as a daily commute. One day I hit a tree stump and sailed over the handle bars and landed ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants to go to Amsterdam for a stag party for gorgeous hookers and strippers

Q.   Hey, this is probably a divided opinion sort of question haha, but please try to respect my opinion. :) My boyfriend of 4 months has on occasion openly "gawked" over other girls, girls 1000000x more attractive than me. On top of this, not once (...

A.   20 January 2013: Oh god... more brits, just what we need. If you put a sign up in a cafe window "no blacks" or "no muslims" you would get a righteous smackdown. There are plenty of places in Amsterdam that say "no brits". Nobody objects. Not even the brits, ... (read in full...)

I broke up with abusive boyfriend but he keeps bothering me!

Q.   i broke up with my ex four months ago.He was quite abusive and very manipulative. He used to blame me for everything which was happening in his life. he lost his job also. on that time i was very emotional but still i broke up because it was t...

A.   20 January 2013: Abusers work in circles, they abuse, then they apologize, then they abuse again. Victims work in circles, they get abused, they threaten to walk way, they accept the apology, they get abused. He can't break his circle. Can you break yours AND ... (read in full...)

I am my husband's punching bag! I'm very lonely in this marriage

Q.   My husband is 12 years older then I. We dated for 1.5. Then married. I feel so lonely in this marriage. He complains about everything. Talks about everyone behind their backs. But will not confort them. So i become the punching bag. He allows people ...

A.   20 January 2013: A wife-beater/abuser often behaves like this: Kiss up, kick down. Think of a bad boss, the abuses his employees but sucks up to his boss. Your husband sucks up to people more powerful then him (lets them walk over him) and vents his frustr... (read in full...)

Is he sticking around for sex or he genuinely likes me?

Q.   Met this guy online. First date was at his house, and yes ended up making out in his bed but no sex. Second time i was drunk and lonely. He texted and ask if i want to go over to "cuddle". again i agreed, and i ended up at his house. No sex as ...

A.   20 January 2013: If you have to ask, it is sex. And really, going over to a guys house after meeting online and ending up in bed is NOT a date. It is called cheap hooker. I mean I heard of cheap dates but the girl coming to your door for making out for t... (read in full...)

Do people somehow get a free pass to behave less well because they have an ex and kids? While those without an ex and kids are expected to come second?

Q.   Hi aunts. Can I have your opinion on this: If one partner in a relationship is divorced with kids and the other never married no kids, what responsibility does the divorced partner have in the relationship? Is it less than if he had no kids or ...

A.   20 January 2013: To be blunt. One woman rejected him, could it be she had legitimate reasons to do so? Is the guy an asshole because he has an ex OR does he have an ex because he is an asshole? If the relationship is as you describe, then he is an asshole. Gett... (read in full...)

How do I live the rest of my life married to someone I don't love and I can't marry again?

Q.   Dear Cupid I am 30+ years old Indian (Asian) women with a great career. Married but not living with my husband (no kids, he is impotent), it was arranged marriage we never got along well. Trying for divorce, but my husband wants to give this ano...

A.   20 January 2013: Presuming you are living in India and have no choice but to live in that culture... live is about making choices and accepting the consequences of those choices. You accepted the arranged marriage instead of fighting it and now have to live wit... (read in full...)

My girlfriend got drunk and ended up falling asleep on the couch of a male friend. She says nothing happened. I don't know what to do.

Q.   My girlfriend of 6 months went to some bars last night with her best friend and some other friends and I didn't go as I had a law exam today. She messaged me at about 10pm and said she was ok and told her I was going to bed. I woke up and shed...

A.   5 December 2012: As others pointed out, the story doesn't add up. Did you re-tell it wrong or how did she go from going home to going to another guys home? There are such things as cabs, you pay them, they take you home. There are such things as hotels, you pay ... (read in full...)

My husband seems to prefer watching porn over having sex with me.

Q.   My husband and I got married within a year of knowing each other and we have only been married for 6 months. Since I've had our daughter he seems to prefer watching porn to having sex. we only have sex if i basically tell him to have sex with me. a ...

A.   29 November 2012: 6 months married and a baby. Ex with a baby. Sexual communications with ex. I would say that your relationship has a shit load of trouble and the porn/non-sex is just a tiny symptom of it all. He only has sex with you, when you tell him to?... (read in full...)

Debate: GIrls love being treated like dirt!

Q.   Girls are weird. Whether u all admit it or not. Most my school and teen years I used to see guys being docks and girls getting hurt and complaining. I always wondered why they didn't go out with nice guys like me who would not hurt them. F...

A.   15 November 2012: If you watch Jerry Springer you might get the idea that all of America is full of rednecks. It is not. There are hillbillies to. Lousy jokes aside, it is very easy to get a distorted view of reality. 50% of marriages end in divorce. OH MY G... (read in full...)

How can I help my friend? I can see she is hurting....

Q.   I'm trying to help a friend. She is now 19, and with a kid and boyfriend. She came to me upset and asked me not to tell her boyfriend. I'm really not sure what to make of this, so I'm not sure how to help so here's her story. She met her boyfrien...

A.   15 November 2012: So... her aunt charges her rent but doesn't tell her instead goes to someone else, unrelated, tells him she wants the rent for her niece. This person then pays it for a period. Then her aunt demands it from her. Then the friend demand sex for p... (read in full...)

Caught my husband watching porn, what should I do?

Q.   dear all, i feel devastated after i caught my husband watching porn and masturbating. we just came back from a vacation in italy and had a blast! im 27 and even though i hav 2 kids i have a good thin body . i. wat happened is that i woke up and w...

A.   15 November 2012: Two things I note: You two sleep apart? Sex doesn't satisfy you. Snoring and such can be a reason not to sleep in the same room and not all sexual activities satisfy both partners BUT here is a thought: He was horny and didn't want to dis... (read in full...)

Are these men just time wasters?

Q.   ok, I am all but a young girl but I still get very puzzled by some male behavior: there are these two guys, not even one, two, who once in a while start a chat with me, but when we actually meet at the pub or with friends don't really ever come clo...

A.   15 November 2012: Stop trying to find meaning in what men do, we are not that complex. They get the urge to chat with you (it is a hormone thing, google it) but then can't think of anything more to say, so it dies out and the soccer has come on. "Why on earth... (read in full...)

I don't understand the big deal about men watching porn.

Q.   this is a genuine honest question that i can't seem to understand. I've seen many questions on here about girls who are unhappy that their boyfriends watch porn. Thing is, I don't ask my boyfriend if he does because I assume he does for his own ...

A.   15 November 2012: I think mostly it is about jealousy. After all most men also don't like it if their women drool to obviously about say Titanic or even worse Twilight (Come on, admit it, no woman ever went to see those movies for the plot) We want to feel like we ... (read in full...)

When I'm not home or sleeping all my boyfriend does is watch porn.

Q.   So I have a question thats been bothering me alot lately.... I been with the same man going on a year and the last month or so I have noticed that when im not home or sleeping all he does is watch porn... I mean there is like 50 things a day from ...

A.   15 November 2012: Ah, the old popup excuse. There are such thing as popup blockers you know, so either he is lying or stupid. Second, you might be amazed at how much of the internet doesn't have porn on it, nor porn popups. The old myth that most of the internet... (read in full...)

Is it illegal to watch porn online?

Q.   Ok now i no im about to sound stupid but... a couple of weeks ago and again last night i watched porn on an online site( strictly adult couples nothing wrong or sick ect ) I dont know why I watched it, I think it was just curiosity but it suddenly ...

A.   15 November 2012: Look at the flags when answering questions: England is even more prudish then America. From wikipedia: United Kingdom The sale or distribution of hardcore pornography through any channel was prohibited until the rules were relaxed in ... (read in full...)

How do you kiss a girl?

Q.   There is this girl that I have been going out with for a while and I haven't kissed her yet. It's not that I don't want to kiss her, it's just that I have never kissed a girl before. People say that it just comes to you, but things like this don't ...

A.   8 November 2012: Nervously and awkwardly. Noses will collide. It will be great. ... (read in full...)

Any advice on where to meet guys? Tried hobbies, gym and bars with no success.

Q.   I absolutely don't know where to meet guys. At work most of guys are married or involved or much older, plus it's not a good idea to date anyone from work. In Gym where I go to, there is never any interaction. I just work out there 3 times a week a...

A.   8 November 2012: You are meeting guys a plenty it seems but none are to your liking. So... what do you like? If you want to catch the fish, you got to be the fish. Who is this Mr Right, what does he do, where does he go to do it? Then go there and hook him. ... (read in full...)

Should I go out with him and tell him I am a Virgin?

Q.   Hey…remember I talked about going to spend christmas with a boyfriend i really do not like so as to stay away from my fathers house. He said we are no longer staying in his house this december. He brought up a suggestion that we should hangout in a ...

A.   5 November 2012: Wow... is this the clearest example that some women are terrified of being alone? Here is a hint... if you want to be away from your fathers house and your bf is making you pay for half the cost of the hotel... GO ON YOUR OWN AND PAY FOR A SINGLE... (read in full...)

Is serial dating a bad thing to do? There's no sex involved but is it wrong?

Q.   I've asked a similar question before but I think people got the wrong end of the stick! Anyway. I split up with my boyfriend of seven months about a month ago, he really didn't treat me very well and I'd just had enough of him having tantrums all of ...

A.   5 November 2012: Just going to repeat the same thing as before. Dating more then one person is not wrong, getting over a relationship doesn't have to take ages... but if there wasn't anything wrong, you wouldn't ask. Why did you go on a forum and ask total st... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has given up on giving me oral sex!

Q.   Even thought I still enjoy it, I can't orgasm through sex, and my boyfriend isn't very good at stimulating me manually. At the beginning I put it down to lack of experience and I didn't want to offend him by making a big deal out of it, hoping he'd ...

A.   2 November 2012: Some people are just amazingly self-centered. Is his male ego hurt here because he has no idea what to do and you won't tell him? Or is he unwilling to learn and consider that you should just come with what he does and else something is wrong wi... (read in full...)

Should I just take some time out to be single?

Q.   Since I was 16 the longest I've been single is about a week. I have had an 8 year relationship and I've just come out of a 7 month relationship. Within a couple of days I was on a date with somebody else. My ex wasn't at all nice to me, really ...

A.   2 November 2012: You only mention two relationships but I presume there been more? Many more? And each time they ended, for whatever reason, within a week, you were in a new relationship? What counts for you as being single? Because going in less then 1 week fro... (read in full...)

How can I handle my abusive toxic Ex? Makes out he cares to my mother. Then abusive tirade at me,

Q.   My ex bf of nine months dumped me in a text message after I had a nervous breakdown. After the breakup we kept having arguments and he blocked me from phones, emails and facebook. I then went on to have an early miscarriage. I didn't know I was pr...

A.   30 August 2012: Women want closure. The only one you will ever get is when they nail the coffin shut. He is toxic and abusive. END OF STORY. Stop trying to understand your abuser, Stockholm syndrome is so last century.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend either doesn't like sex or just doesn't like having it with me

Q.   OK this is long! Either my boyfriend doesn't like having sex with me, or he just plain doesn't like sex (I wish I knew which). We've been together nearly three years (I am 30, he is almost 40). Compared to my previous relationships I've alwa...

A.   9 March 2012: If he masturbates over it, it is porn to him. It is known that some women have a lot of difficulty orgasming and some never have it. Could the same apply to some people? How much we feel a sensation is different in all of us. How much we enjoy it... (read in full...)

What is he really saying when a guy says he's not ready to be in a relationship?

Q.   There's this guy and I know for sure he likes me but he says he's not ready to be in a serious relationship because he broke up with his girlfriend 2 months ago. He said that I'm really beautiful and he's given a lot of thought about us. What d...

A.   9 March 2012: It means he is not ready to be in a relationship. Digging further is pointless, it means what it means. Maybe tomorrow he meets another girl and he will be ready, but right now, with you, he isn't. That you and your girlfriends can't figure it ... (read in full...)

Why does my b/f want a threeseome with 2 girls but won't even consider 2 guys?

Q.   hi so i need some good advise ive been with my bf 3 yrs now he watches porn which is not a problem i watch it with him but he likes to watch group sex and said it really turns him on then the other night he asked me if i would have a 3 some with him ...

A.   9 March 2012: Simple, male homosexuality is not accepted as much as female homosexuality. Just simply 2 women walking hand in hand vs men isn't the norm (in the west, other parts of the world it is perfectly normal). As for threesomes... jealousy in an u... (read in full...)

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