Can I call the police because my boyfriend is posting horrible things about me on social media?
Q. My ex boyfriend is posting horrible things about me on facebook, can I call the police? I'm not sure if it's harassment or not because he has posted it on his timeline, not in a private message to me. Everyone on his friends list can...
A. 1 October 2014: Report the posts:
Tap in the top right of the post, tap 'Report/ Mark as Spam'., tap 'File Report'.
After doing that with every post about you, I would deactivate Facebook for a while - as long as it takes for you to get to the point where you do... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and like a 15 year old from a different city
Q. So I met this girl while I was away for a weekend. I straight away liked her and we hung out a little and I seemed to think got along. The issue is at the time I thought she was 16 or 17 to then find out a few days later when I got home 15. W...
A. 1 October 2014: By all means continue to make friends with her. But this line "And the one this year [she] has offered me a place in her 2 person tent which is hard to refuse as a place to sleep when I dont have a tent or money for a hotel. " worries me - you'll ... (read in full...)
I haven't known my boyfriend and feel like I'm barely getting to know him and we have an 11 month old baby together. Break up or make up? Relationship problems going on.
Q. This question is going to go a little deeper from this post: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-boyfriend-told-me-let-me-get-fat.html I've been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years now coming December 13th. We've hit some bumps in the road a...
A. 6 July 2014: OP, I'm sorry the situation is this dire. But I wanted to encourage you that if you do break up with him, I highly doubt you'd lose custody of your child. Can you get some free legal advice to start off with? Find out about custody and what he ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me, "let me get fat and see if you want to hold me." I'm speechless!
Q. So, I'm in a relationship and I'm holding onto to something because I'm resentful. . About a month and a half ago my boyfriend told me, "let me get fat and see if you want to hold me." I was speechless at the time and didn't know what to say so I ...
A. 3 July 2014: OP, your follow up is very enlightening and I'm sorry my reply might have trivialised your situation. I imagined your situation very differently, assuming it was a crass but one-off comment in a more committed, stable relationship (i.e. living ... (read in full...)
How to find inner peace and closure when my ex refused to give it?
Q. How to find inner peace and closure when my ex refused to give it? I posted on here a couple of weeks ago. Just some follow up kind words would be nice. My ex broke up with me. Said it was not a lack of love on her part, but that she was having m...
A. 3 July 2014: I think she gave you as much of an explanation as she could. She was struggling to look after herself as well as look after the relationship. She told you she has her issues and she left for her own well being. What more can she say than that?
I ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend told me, "let me get fat and see if you want to hold me." I'm speechless!
Q. So, I'm in a relationship and I'm holding onto to something because I'm resentful. . About a month and a half ago my boyfriend told me, "let me get fat and see if you want to hold me." I was speechless at the time and didn't know what to say so I ...
A. 3 July 2014: Why is he with you? Maybe because he loves you and wants to keep the family together. Doesn't mean he has to love the weight you gained. It would be easier for you, and much better for the child you share, to lose the extra weight than find a ... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel anything when bad events occur? is it a mental issue, or am I just scarred?
Q. Hello everybody! Just before I start this too much, I'd like to say that I don't really appreciate mean replies and answers, but if you feel like you absolutely HAVE to tell me, then go ahead. So, I can't seem to understand why, but my emotions ...
A. 29 June 2014: Forge, I suggest you go back to see a different professional therapist. Maybe the one you saw didn't know much about getting over abuse, and it can take a long time to see results, so don't expect immediate 'results'. I agree with Janniepeg that you ... (read in full...)
My online boyfriend shouts at me and hangs up, but I am lonely without him
Q. I am in a relationship with a guy. We came to know each other through online dating website. It's been 1 year we have still not meet each other. In the initial 2-3 months he was very loving. He made me feel true love. He has been going through ...
A. 28 June 2014: You should break up with him again and unfortunately go through the loneliness that will follow. Along with loneliness, you should also feel a sense of relief to be away from this man so try focusing on that. And go out and make some friends in real ... (read in full...)
Why would he say, "in another life, we would have been inseparable"?
Q. Can someone help me understand? I'm just getting to know this guy and our relationship is growing by the day. But he said something really odd and I couldn't reply except say "oh ok" because I didn't really understand. He said "I think in another...
A. 19 June 2014: He means that there's some obstacle stopping you from becoming inseparable. Ask him what it is. ... (read in full...)
I feel like we're just having sex for him
Q. Hello! I feel really awkward about this, but I need answers before I go insane. I started dating my best friend, we've been together 8 months, before I started dating him I had a craaazy sex drive, always have had. By anyones standards, th...
A. 19 June 2014: Is he giving you foreplay? If there is no desire to have sex, it's certainly no fun and it can be dry and painful.
A way to address the problem would be to self-stimulate (or masturbate) during sex with your boyfriend. Practise using differen... (read in full...)
His entire demeanor has changed. Is he withdrawing from me?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 3 months. He lives in NJ and I live in NY- we are about an hour and a half away from one another. Some background on us- we met 7 years ago on vacation and really hit it off. He had a girlfriend so nothing ever ...
A. 17 June 2014: Hi OP,
Why do you never reach out to him?
I am not sure if he's losing interest because you two are not compatible (for example, the conversation doesn't flow easily) or because he's fed up of you not 'reaching out'. I must admit that if I was da... (read in full...)
What is Appropriate/Inappropriate behavior for a relationship??
Q. I feel very confused about my current situation with my long term boyfriend, and am looking for some outside advice... We have been dating for a long time. Several years ago, I found out that that he was chatting with girls online, having c...
A. 17 June 2014: Personally I think you deserve better. You don't need to put up with this level of disrespect just because that's what your mum did. I realise it's not easy to walk away from a long term relationship, but ask yourself if he is treating you with ... (read in full...)
My gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month and completely takes it all out on me but the moment I have ONE bad day myself, it's the end of the world. Why is that? How is that fair?
Q. I need some advice. Maybe from the guys who have experienced this, personally, but also from the girls who can possibly explain this phenomenon. I always feel like my gf has constant mood swings, especially around that time of the month, and compl...
A. 6 June 2014: I agree with the other ladies. She can't blame all this on her hormones. Hormones don't suddenly change because the right food arrives, for example. That example you gave is manipulative behaviour, and she is being rewarded for it.
I suggest you ... (read in full...)
How do you know if it's going to be just FWBs or lead to something else? I want to avoid being used!
Q. This is a general question which I'm sure will have varied opinions but I'm asking because of situations I've been in which I just don't know how I could have prevented. I'm going to use the classic girl / boy situation because it seems the most ...
A. 5 June 2014: "Please don't say to talk things over first or wait til your in a relationship - that's not how things work anymore and you would scare most people off by being too intense." - not true, OP.
I've had frank talks with people on the first date, wh... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants sex every day and it just isn't fun for me!
Q. My boyfriend of 2years wants sex almost every day. We have four kids and I work during the week. He works as well but he is his own boss. With 2 babies in the house he does help me during the nights but I feel tired all the time. When he wants to ...
A. 5 June 2014: How on earth would you have the time or energy to cheat, with 2 young children in the house? He is being unreasonable, and possibly accusing you of cheating because he's cheating (or thinking of doing so). Don't let his accusations of cheating put ... (read in full...)
Friend with benefits has an ex visiting from overseas and told me not to contact him or visit him while she's here! What should I do?
Q. I have been seeing and sleeping with a man for just over 9 months now. Just out of the blue, he told me his ex from the USA is coming over to stay with him for a month. First he said it was without warning, and then his story changed, saying it was ...
A. 4 June 2014: OK, it's time for you to step away from this guy all together. I know you've developed feelings for him, but he doesn't reciprocate them. You've fallen, he hasn't. You want a committed and exclusive relationship with him (or you wouldn't be so hurt ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants sex every day and it just isn't fun for me!
Q. My boyfriend of 2years wants sex almost every day. We have four kids and I work during the week. He works as well but he is his own boss. With 2 babies in the house he does help me during the nights but I feel tired all the time. When he wants to ...
A. 3 June 2014: Have you told him of about any of this? How you feel and why? That would be a starting point, assuming you haven't already. ... (read in full...)
Could this Facebook ad be a scam?
Q. Hello, i Read an advertisment on Facebook. Regarding a family looking for a caregiver, chef and housekeeper i applied for the job which Is in the Uk. They told me they Will Pay me 1200 monthly and they will pay for m'y ticket and visa, but i need ...
A. 3 June 2014: OP, it costs £289 for a visa, and then it's only valid for 6 months, at which point you'd have to return home.
https://www.gov.uk/domestic-workers-in-a-private-household-visa
Even if it's not a scam, you may end up being a slave to this fa... (read in full...)
Starting to like a guy I'm dating, but I think hes still looking for others?
Q. Ive known this guy for a couple of months now. We met on T--r (a new dating app), and i wasnt sure about it, but my friend recommended it to me, help me get out more and meet and date new people. Now I've met this guy, and we're suuposed to be ...
A. 28 May 2014: I think people do still look for others when in the early stages of dating, particularly if 'introduced' through a dating site or app. It's pretty normal. There's the "grass is greener" aspect (he might see someone else he likes the look of) and ... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 13 May 2014: Male anon, no one except you mentioned the word paeophilia. You accept he crossed the line saving the photo for his sexual gratification, so we're all basically in agreement, no?
OP, you've learned a lot about yourself. That's a very good thi... (read in full...)
LDR and suddenly he's harder to contact. Am I overreacting?
Q. My bf works for UPS and goes in work at either 3, 4, or 5am and gets off no later than 11. He always text me after he's done which he did today at 10 am "goodmorning sleepy head :)" I text him back about 5 mins later and never got a text back. ...
A. 13 May 2014: I think you're catastrophising. Making a catastrophe about nothing much. I've done it a million times. There could be many reasons why he hasn't been in touch, the least likely are cheating or an RTA. Don't let your imagination and fears run amok. ... (read in full...)
I feel disgusted he saved an inappropriate picture of his daughter's friend!
Q. Hi There, Agh, I am actually a embarrassed to write about this. I couldn't even bring myself to talk to any of my friend about it in the last 3 days. I have this habit of going through my boyfriend's email, phone, etc. It's a bad habit, I ...
A. 12 May 2014: To me, the urge to snoop heralds the end of a relationship. Whether you have genuine/ legitimate motives (confirming infidelity for example) or an ongoing snooping issue, it's a sign that things are seriously wrong.
In your situation, you snoo... (read in full...)
I want to move on from a girl I fell for. Is it OK to ignore her if she texts me?
Q. Last year a girl joined my college course and straight away I fell for her. We became friends and then I asked her out at the end of the year and she turned me down. After that nothing changed, we were still friends although she did move into the ...
A. 12 May 2014: There's a lot to be said for making peace, but you might not be in that frame of mind for a while. Don't make peace if you don't really mean it. While you still have feelings for her, I think it's better to ignore any messages from her. Do whatever ... (read in full...)
Depressed and deliberately avoiding my friends. Any advice?
Q. This is hard to explain, but I am going through a difficult time at the moment. Sometimes, I have ignored my friends when they have tried to contact me. I don't know how to explain to them that I am going through a difficult time at the moment. I ...
A. 12 May 2014: Hi OP,
I agree with RevMick, I think you should confide in at least a few of your friends and let them know how you are feeling. It is common for people to isolate themselves when they are depressed, when in fact it's one of the worst things t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend is moving in - how do we work out finances?
Q. My boyfriend of five years will be moving in to my home soon. I am excited but also a little anxious. He would prefer i sell my home, or rent it out and get a place together. I have a mortgage which i manage on my own and can't afford to rent it out ...
A. 11 May 2014: OP, I read your first post and then the follow up. I really don't think you two are ready to live together. He's used to living rent free and probably having his bum wiped still, and won't even discuss rules with you. Red flags.
I agree with wha... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent my step-mom a sex message intended for my girlfriend!
Q. Okay. . .I know some of you will be tempted to think this a prank message and OH BOY I REALLY wish it was at the moment. My girlfriend and I got into "the mood" and decided to send sex messages and pics to each other. We were really getting i...
A. 11 May 2014: You have a cool step-mother ;)
Glad it all worked out ok. ... (read in full...)
I told her I couldn't be with her anymore because she is married and she didn't take it well!
Q. Hi everyone, I have been dating a married woman who is in a same-sex marriage. We have only been dating for a month and a half and I have already fallen for her. We have done a lot of stuff together and she has never treated me as her mistress. ...
A. 11 May 2014: No, just let it go. No apologies for or from either of you. Any more dialogue will just prolong the agony. Move on and cut contact. All the best. ... (read in full...)
I accidentally sent my step-mom a sex message intended for my girlfriend!
Q. Okay. . .I know some of you will be tempted to think this a prank message and OH BOY I REALLY wish it was at the moment. My girlfriend and I got into "the mood" and decided to send sex messages and pics to each other. We were really getting i...
A. 10 May 2014: First of all, don't worry! Your step mother was probably a bit shocked but is laughing by now. You're 20, you have a girlfriend and a mobile phone ... I'm sure your step mother has some inkling that you are sexual with GF and I'm sure she's heard of ... (read in full...)
Do I need to have a serious conversation with him about his rough way of making love? And how should I raise the topic?
Q. I don't know what to do with this guy. I met someone 3 months ago. Really cute fun guy, But... The only thing I keep having problems with is how he has sex. He is a bit on a rough side. In addition he has large penis,which doesn't help the s...
A. 10 May 2014: You do need to have a serious conversation with him, though it might be a bit tricky if he avoids conflict, so make sure you're both calm and comfortable so he really listens. Tell him, he makes you bleed. That should say it all, really, because ... (read in full...)
How important is the look of "it"?
Q. Help .... I'm about to enter into a physical relationship with a new man after a long marriage and I need to know . How important is the appearance of a woman's vagina to a man Most of the ones I've seen in porn look very similar and much tidier t...
A. 10 May 2014: I'm also not sure if you're referring to the hair (or lack of) of the 'tidiness' of your labia.
You can easily trim or wax the area, just do whatever you're comfortable with. I used to trim and have bikini wax but now I just prefer the cleaner feel... (read in full...)
He just can't let go of my past
Q. Hello aunts, I'm having a dilemma with my current boyfriend. We have been dating for a little over a month now and we really enjoy each-other and fell in love and love spending time together when we can. We are almost one person and I've had pre...
A. 10 May 2014: Oh the irony. He cares about you and loves you so much that he can't face the thought of people treating you badly, so HE treats you badly.
The link Cerberus gave is very good, I read it before. I advise you to read it thoroughly.
You shouldn'... (read in full...)
Will I be limiting my chances of having a Boyfriend considering that I don't like giving blow jobs?
Q. Will I have limited boyfriend chances unless I give blow jobs?? I don't mind hand jobs, but I'm not a person who feels comfortable with the idea of a penis in my mouth. I also don't particularly like the idea of a guy ejaculating on me, but I don't ...
A. 9 May 2014: OP, you already have good advice but just to add; keep a box of tissues nearby. He can use them rather than a towel or you.
You won't have limited chances of finding a boyfriend at all. Don't fret.
BUT you might just find that when you're... (read in full...)
Are there any decent guys out there still? Will I ever find somebody normal?
Q. I'm a depressed, 32 year old female and I'm starting to wonder whether I will ever find a normal guy....I'm loyal, attractive, caring, trustworthy and I seem to end up with all of these guys that have 1 or more major issues. I know nobody is ...
A. 9 May 2014: OP, I got to the same point you're at a few years ago and unfortunately I could only conclude that the common factor was me. Despite all my positive attributes, pretty much the same as yours, I was only attracting, or I should more correctly say, ... (read in full...)
My husband requests fellatio all the time and not only that! What do you do when your husband denies you a sexual orgasm or intercourse if you don't do it first?
Q. I don't want to bash my husband or write insensitively of him but it has caused a little ripple in our marriage where it hasn't completely gone away. By continually asking for me to give him oral sex but it's not as bad as it was before when he kept ...
A. 9 May 2014: He was addicted to porn for several years and now he expects you to behave like a porn actress. He seemingly doesn't realise that women in porn get paid to pretend to enjoy certain things that aren't enjoyable at all. Of course you feel objectified ... (read in full...)
It's obvious there is something 'off' about my new neighbor, how do I deal with it?
Q. I think there is something wrong with my new neighbor . He is in his late 50s, has a very sweet wife, grown children and an 8 years old granddaughter. We live in our house for 3 years, and mostly young families with small kids. They just moved in a ...
A. 7 May 2014: He could be a harmless old flirt, he could be someone with no social skills/ awarness or he could be dangerous. The problem is you don't know which of these he is.
If he gives you another compliment, state firmly "I don't think that is appropri... (read in full...)
Anyone have experience at speed-dating?
Q. I was the anon who wrote this question originally: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-do-i-re-enter-the-dating-world.html Well, an update, things are going well so far, not saying it in an egotistical way, here's hoping it continues ;) ...
A. 6 May 2014: I agree with Euphoric and your friend. Both are being pragmatic about it. I get his reasoning and I don't even have Aspergers (!).
He's right, what's £17 for the potential gain of making new connections whether male or female? Or just having a... (read in full...)
How do I deal with my negative thoughts?
Q. This is a question about negative thoughts towards myself. It may just be human and I am not dealing with it right , but I have always had negative thoughts towards myself . be that going for a job interview or talking to a girl or anything . ...
A. 6 May 2014: Kerin has nailed it. You need a major overhaul on how you think of yourself and why. Time for some work, be it reading self help books, therapy, counselling or whatever fits your life best.
You are viewing yourself and your life through a part... (read in full...)
How do I explain to my family how I met my girlfriend?
Q. Ok. So long story short.... Me and my gf of 3 years, are planning to get married. However since we haven't told any of our patents yet, we need to Annouce and tell them how we met. I am Indian, so culture reasons don't make it easy for us to mix ...
A. 5 May 2014: OP, you're making up random scenarios when you say it' was random anyway. So why not tell the truth? What's the big secret?... (read in full...)
I'm shy, would working with children be alright for a job?
Q. I am a shy person. Would working with children be right for me ?. I am on Jobseeker's Allowance. My advisor at the Jobcentre has said that I need to do some voluntary work. She has put me forward for a voluntary job at a Youth Club where children ...
A. 2 May 2014: I have read this and your other post(s). While I fully sympathise with your shy nature and your nervousness and anxiety, the 'deal' with being on JSA is that you are actively looking for paid employment. Otherwise, you will risk losing that JSA.
... (read in full...)
I had a threesome before I got married. Do I tell my husband?
Q. I was involved in a once only threesome with my ex bf and another girl. Deeply regretted. Should I tell the man I married later? He has had premarital sex but not of this kind....
A. 2 May 2014: No, don't tell him.
If you look up the amount of posts here on retroactive/ retrograde jealousy you'll see that it can cause a massive amount of torment for a partner to know too much about the other partner's former sex life. Once it's said, you ... (read in full...)
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