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*inginbluebird

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Want to help people and enjoy it. Stay safe and make sure, true love is self love first.

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My fiance is very secretive and it makes me wonder if I am making a mistake

Q.   Hello, and thanks! So I'm engaged but not sure if I'm making the right decision. My fiancee is very secretive. I find things out mostly by social media because I'm friends with his friends and they post and it comes up on my newsfeed. Th...

A.   10 July 2020: Too many red flags here. Hes living a life completely separate from you. He doesnt sound like hes partnership with you. Hes also young and heavy pot user. I think its time re evaluate what you want and move on from there. I think its best lea... (read in full...)

Are women past their 50s still interested in sex

Q.   I have been divorced for many years. Now that the kids are grown up and have left the house, I feel like I need to have a partner and get married. I am almost a 60 year old man. I would presumably be looking for a woman close to my age. Sex is ...

A.   29 June 2020: Plenty of women over 50 still want and crave sex but actually worry men 55yrs old+ are no longer interested because of ED, lack of care and arousal, and less interest in romance. Online date and court and find out for yourself who you prefer b... (read in full...)

Girlfriend refuses to discuss our relationship.

Q.   My girlfriend got drunk one day after an argument. She met up with a friend and they took a guy back to her place. Her friend left but the guy stayed. The next day she said nothing happened and told me they were both naked in the bed. She also told ...

A.   21 May 2020: Is she 12? This is childish. Leave... (read in full...)

I like dressing up and acting as a woman but my wife is pushing me to have sex with a man

Q.   My wife encourages me to dress as Joanne every day. She tells me that she told all of her co workers about me, about how my eyebrows are plucked into thin, highly arched lines, how my ears are pierced, how I keep my fingernails long and shaped ...

A.   11 May 2020: This is trolling only. Pretty sure OP is messing with us ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband have an unhealthy obsession with me, my body and other men looking at me?

Q.   I am a 35 year old woman married for the last 6 years and have a 2 year old child. My husband is a genuinely good person who dotes on the baby and me. The problem is that he dotes on me a little too much. Despite being married for 6 years and ...

A.   8 May 2020: Honestly youre best thing in his life and he knows it. He's a pervert but to his wife. I would try sit him down and try fix this, but that hasn't seem work. You can try therapy. Or reverse psychology . By acting pervy back, it will eventually freak ... (read in full...)

I've met a girl online and the relationship is hard work.

Q.   Let me begin by saying I never had a girlfriend. I met this girl online, and we really hit it off. Im going light on the details but thing is, she wants something more, to bee more than friends and I feel something for her. We know each other ...

A.   5 May 2020: Long distance is hard. Please meet before you even decide be together, 5min in person tells you more about someone than 5 months talking online. Be logical. Try date locally. Dating should feel easy and effortless ... (read in full...)

Is there a such thing as an obsessed partner?

Q.   Me and my fiancé have been together for almost 4 years lately I feel myself being more and more unhappy because I feel that I can’t balance time between him and my kids and myself. My fiancé seems to be very needy for my attention and when I can ...

A.   27 April 2020: Set strong boundaries. Babe i love you and love way you love me but i need some time for myself to rejuvenate so i can come back to you and my boys with more energy. Its feels great be together but tuesday and thursday evenings i reall... (read in full...)

Happily married yet lusting over a doctor! Help me please!

Q.   I have been married for 4 and a half years and have a 3 year old daughter. There are no problems in my marriage and I thought till a few days ago that I was very happy and content with life. My husband adores me and we have a healthy sex life. I...

A.   24 April 2020: LOL crushes are normal !!! I remember liking the guy I was dating and started a new job one week, BAM!!!! I met my team lead and literally had huge crush. I mean literally blushing, fantasizing, dreaming, thinking of all those lovery dovery things ... (read in full...)

My anxiety and insecurity is getting in the way of my happiness

Q.   Hi everyone, I’m coming here for advice about an ongoing problem I have with dating. Bear with me- I annoy myself with this and am certain I sound exhausting. I’m a female in my late twenties and have dated a handful of men. I’m currently dating...

A.   22 April 2020: Seek therapy. These are hard times, be cant be your everything. Hes just one man. Hes the boyfriend. Be sweet, fun, loving gf you are. For anxiefy, sadness, insecurities..reach out to your mom, female friends etc. This is what other women are for, ... (read in full...)

Are these enough warning signs that my partner isn't into me?

Q.   So I have been in a relationship for almost 6 months and am wondering whether this relationship will last. I've had a lot of bad relationships, and childhood was not ideal so I doubt myself a lot and struggle with what a normal relationship should ...

A.   20 April 2020: Nope, this isn't your guy. Move on NEXT... (read in full...)

8 years of being a stay at home mom. I want to work hubby doesn't want me to. I think I want out

Q.   Hi, I’m hoping I can get a little advice here, I’m feeling slightly .. lost? Here’s a little background I hope it doesn’t bore you. Me and my partner have been together now for nearly 9 years, we have 3 beautiful children together. When I firs...

A.   4 March 2020: Men can use money to control women. Set boundaries, tell him you want to work and have social life or its over. No talk, only actions. May have to show him youre not always obedient. But no fighting or throwing tantrums, handle this as a woman. ... (read in full...)

She left because I didn't propose after 2 years of dating

Q.   Hi, I will quickly describe the situation, though I ask you to please not to condemn me harshly. I am in my upper 40s, never married. Met a woman two years younger, also never been married. We dated for two years. It has been my first long-term ...

A.   29 February 2020: Women have diff mindset. We work on diff time frame ,so do men. Let me say this What men desire more than anything: freedom, financial success, winning in life, fun, adventures What women desire more than anything: commitment with man she lov... (read in full...)

No matter how much of an effort I put in, my husband looks at me like I'm am old dish rag

Q.   I feel my husband is not attracted to me . He shows very little interest in me . I could walk around naked or in lingerie and he wouldn’t bat an eyelid but with other younger women who he clearly finds attractive he definitely pays attention . If we ...

A.   29 January 2020: This is psychological. If you stop trying prove yourself, trying impress him or seduce him, and focus only on you, your life, your hobbies, what you enjoy and not trying always seek validation from him...he will notice that space youre allowing... (read in full...)

Is there such a thing as "harmless flirting"?

Q.   I don't have a girlfriend at the moment and I don't date older women. There is this attractive lady in her early 30s. I think she is about 7 or at most 10 years older than me. A few years ago when I first got to know her, I used to flirt wit...

A.   28 January 2020: Lol this is adorable. Honey she cuts hair!! She flirts with everyone i assume. Her job is being fun while cutting hair, keep her same clientele coming back to her and getting nice big tips. Waitresses also do this very well. Shes just a great ha... (read in full...)

My FWB has gone cold on me all of a sudden.

Q.   After a wild weekend away with my FWB she won't talk to me and has gone completely cold. I don't get why though. She seemed to love every second of it. We’d known each other for years as acquaintances but both had messy break ups last year and ha...

A.   9 January 2020: She may want more. Or she may have met someone else. Or shes busy with work, a project or etc. If you continue to press, she may dissapear altogether. Wait a few more days or week then ask again for clarification. ... (read in full...)

My motivations and decisions are based on my ex wife somehow.

Q.   Hi, Seeking advice on the following issue ; Having trouble actually letting go of my ex wife. Let me explain further - 14 months ago I found out my ex wife was being disloyal, I found messages of a sexual nature on her accounts as I had susp...

A.   8 January 2020: Go easy on yourself. This was a person you loved, shared, created, made love to and was loyal to for 10 years....it will take years get over her and thats normal and very okay. Theres a saying, the length of the relationship is equal to length o... (read in full...)

There is no physical chemistry, which makes me think he is not "My Guy"

Q.   Dear cupid, I have been dating a friend of mine who confessed that hes had feelings for me for a year now, and since I just got out of a toxic relationship he said he had to tell.me how he felt before I started dating someone else, hes a great guy, ...

A.   31 December 2019: So then, he's not your guy. Trust your gut. If he's not your guy, he's not your guy. Move on and since you're freshly out of a break up, you can enjoy being single, cultivating a rich beautiful life and enjoying things before diving back into dat... (read in full...)

Should I quietly delete him?

Q.   I think i know what people will advise but its better that i hear it from other people and their views. I joined a dating site 4 month ago met a man had a few dates then he decided he wanted to be single he had split from his girlfriend 5 months ...

A.   19 September 2019: Delete ! He's not interested sweetie. If he is he would write to you everyday. Be the lady, always let men chase and do their job. Sit back and just relax ??... (read in full...)

Why does my former boss/lover want to stay in touch?

Q.   I had an affair with my boss. We are both married. I’ve worked for him for 7 years and I’d say emotionally it’s been going on since year 1 or 2. Physically, it started nearly two years ago. Within 8 months of it starting physically, I ended it (for ...

A.   8 September 2019: Why ? Free sex. Men are easy understand. This guy is pig, married but if he can free action on side with low risk, with a prequalified woman and with no investment ( he doesn't have commit, it can be secret etc) hes going go for it. Also he... (read in full...)

My wife and I are sexually incompatible and I'd like to know how I can kill my libido

Q.   I am 30 years old and married. I love my wife very much but we have never had the best sex life. I knew from the beginning that we weren't a perfect match sexually but, when we talked about it, she always said that she thought she would get more ...

A.   6 August 2019: I'm so sorry hear this. Sex isn't everything but it is so essential and important in building a satisfying romantic relationship-- or else you both are just friends or roommates. You sound crazy for her but I don't think your needs are m... (read in full...)

How do you deal with getting older and society treating you like you are invisible?

Q.   Just looking for a little advice on how to deal with getting older as anwoman and losing looks and it seems visibility in society . Some seem to say enjoy the invisibility but I find it heartbreaking when I’m basically ignored say in a store for a ...

A.   12 May 2019: I'm so sorry you're going through this but you're not alone. Youthfulness has always been seen as a prize, look at what women do their bodies with surgeries, implants, lifts, injections, and makeup all in attempt retain or enhance their ... (read in full...)

I've lost my sex drive. How do I get it back?

Q.   Hello everyone, I must say I’m a little embarrassed with this one, I’m 27 years old, been with my GF for roughly 3 years and have completely lost my sex drive. We went from having sex multiple times a day to once a week/fortnight. I just fe...

A.   6 May 2019: Once a week is still very healthy, if it was once a month I would be worried. I think the fact shes pressuring you may be turn off. Its subtle. My suggestion may be unfavorable but I think this is situation where you both may see each other to... (read in full...)

Where to meet guys after college??

Q.   Ever since graduating from college 5 years ago, I can't seem to meet guys. It took over a year before I met my ex and that was through a friend. I didn't meet him on my own. In college, I had no problems getting dates simply because everyone was ...

A.   6 May 2019: Online ! Use match.com or better dating apps. You may enjoy bumble as you get message first and decide whom you may want meet. Women have all power to date now. Screen profiles, put great pics, have fun, flirt, put that you are seeking a re... (read in full...)

My husband loves looking at other women

Q.   My husband loves looking at other women. He used to go online and ask them to send him pictures. I asked him to stop. He stopped now that we got married 8 months ago.he has posters all over his garage and playboy and looks at pictures on facebook. I ...

A.   25 April 2019: So many things are wrong here. Why did you marry him ? He already shows you he doesn't care about your feelings, he doesnt respect you as a woman or as his girlfriend/now wife, he shows you he won't change, he shows you hes a player and enjoys ... (read in full...)

Adult son's fiance is too old for him

Q.   My wife and I have been aware of our son’s dating preferences since he left home for college. He prefers older women. We believed it was a phase and did our best not to get bent out of shape. We have met several of his older girlfriends over the ...

A.   15 April 2019: He needs you more than ever if you love him. He is not thinking, he is using his feelings to guide him and he's young, this life lesson hes learning right now is crucial. He needs support, even if this means letting him "marry" this older person. ... (read in full...)

I get dates but then I think there might be somebody better so I ghost them

Q.   Hello everyone, I am looking for some help and would be grateful for your opinions. I'm single and looking for a woman, and I've had 13 dates so far this year. I'm not a fussy guy and I liked 9 of them. With 7 of these 9, I have had second or th...

A.   14 April 2019: You just haven't met right one. Not hearing from someone is fine after 2-3 dates but if they message you, it would be ethical thing and common courtesy to tell them youre not interested so they can know and let things be. But if both parties go ... (read in full...)

Its seems being committed is hard work.

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together nearly 4 years. We rent an apartment together and we have a good life. He's adorable and funny and kind, but sometimes I feel like I love him more as a friend than a lover, and I don't know if that's normal or ...

A.   5 April 2019: I remember your first post. Sweetie, your in a sticky place. This is a personal post about self growth and self discovery. There is no wrong or right answer. Yes you can break it off with current boyfriend and regret it later because you might st... (read in full...)

I cannot flirt, create a spark or connect sexually with women

Q.   I find it impossible to give off sexual vibes. I revert straight into a friendship style of communication. If there’s ever any slight indication of sexual interest from someone I freak out and go into a seemingly calm and causal interaction which ...

A.   5 April 2019: I suggest paying to learn flirting skills. There are ways to practice and its by continuing to date, meet women, learning to flirt and smile. It doesnt even have to be sexual, it's all about being comfortable and casual and relaxed. Continue to ... (read in full...)

Can I learn to love my husband? Arranged marriage I have never felt attracted to him

Q.   I have been with my husband for over 5 years now. It was an arranged marriage. I think I made a mistake in marrying him. He’s handsome, successful, nice, funny, and an all around good person. When we first met I never felt a connection or spark but ...

A.   4 April 2019: I think you've posted this before. Honey, break it off. No feelings can develop over time if by now you've felt nothing. Let him go to find a woman who do want him. Life is too short. Find the man of your dreams. Let him find his. Break it off. This ... (read in full...)

Can I learn to love my husband? Arranged marriage I have never felt attracted to him

Q.   I have been with my husband for over 5 years now. It was an arranged marriage. I think I made a mistake in marrying him. He’s handsome, successful, nice, funny, and an all around good person. When we first met I never felt a connection or spark but ...

A.   4 April 2019: I think you've posted this before. Honey, break it off. No feelings can develop over time if by now you've felt nothing. Let him go to find a woman who do want him. Life is too short. Find the man of your dreams. Let him find his. Break it off. This ... (read in full...)

Wife called the shots on defining the limits of our sex life...

Q.   My wife and I have been married for over 20 years, and together as a couple since we were barely teens. Starting out that young as a couple, there were infidelities on my part in high school. Then in a couple of years' span that we were apart ...

A.   1 April 2019: Sorry sir, but it's her body. She has rights to do with it what she wants and if she doesn't want threesome, she doesn't want it. Continue enjoy her only and the videos. People change through out years and her sex choices will as well. Mature out of ... (read in full...)

Is he interested or being a polite neighbor?

Q.   I recently relocated to a new city. Within a month of moving in, my neighbor introduced himself and I was immediately stricken and attracted to him. The other day he stopped over and we ended up having drinks with neighbors and friends. He kept ...

A.   28 March 2019: He is interested but don't ask him out. Let him make first move and be man and ask you out, just continue be open and enthusiastic around him and feminine. Good luck ! ??... (read in full...)

It is his 30th birthday at the end of March - What do I get the guy I have only been seeing for a few weeks?

Q.   So I have only known this guy for a few weeks but I have found out that it is his 30th birthday at the end of the month. It is quite a significant birthday and whilst we haven't known each other long, he is incredibly thoughtful and we have been...

A.   2 March 2019: Nothing. Just bring best version of "you" out on the date. Have fun, laugh, be joyful, flirt and flirt. Men want have to fun, they never care about gifts so shine away ! He will feel like his best gift is a hapoy, sexy, girlfriend who desires ... (read in full...)

He is all that I have ever wanted but I feel trapped. Is an open relationship the answer?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years, we met when we started university. All through these years I've been looking forward to graduating, getting a flat together and settling down. Now I'm coming to the end of my degree and I'm panicking because ...

A.   2 March 2019: Let me tell you something girl, when a man says he choses you. He choses you. He doesn't "care" about more experiences with other girls because in his mind he "GOT" his dream girl. When a guy has claimed his main girl, he doesnt care about new ... (read in full...)

Am I just being paranoid? Overthinking? Will I ruin things?

Q.   Am I being paranoid? I have recently met a guy online and we have met a couple of times now, but I don't know if my current feelings are super paranoid or if I am looking at any red flags... This guy has been incredibly giving, thoughtful, k...

A.   2 March 2019: Yes you are but these are past baggage you are holding onto. Maybe seek therapy to get over these experiences and continue see guy, be open and allow your heart be open to receive love. He may be the right guy. If he's showing up, consistent, and ... (read in full...)

Is all fair in love and war?

Q.   I had an affair 7 years ago. He broke it off after 2.5 years. We boyh stayed married to our spouses. I really loved him and was heart broken. 2 months ago he reached out to me. He claims he still loves me, is in love with me and on and on. I ...

A.   2 March 2019: Move on. ... (read in full...)

I don't like children at all but why am I thinking about the possibilty?

Q.   I’m 26 and have never ever ever wanted children in my whole life and the thought of giving birth and being pregnant makes me feel sick and squeamish. I don’t even find babies or children cute and I get very uncomfortable around them~ at Christmas I ...

A.   18 February 2019: Your dealing with what most women in late 20s sometimes think about. Which is children . And that's okay, it's an idea. Having children or not is a personal choice and its yours alone and with your partner. But from everything you've stated it ... (read in full...)

I’m falling out of love, but can’t manage to walk away! Any advice?

Q.   Hi everyone my name is James, i am currently in a 9 year relationship. For the last few years i felt like ive fallen out of love with my girlfriend. I am the only source of income in the relationship. Im very ambitious she is the complete opposite. ...

A.   18 February 2019: I'm sorry hear this. But you said exactly what you yourself need do. Break it off and move on. You are not responsible for anyone's happiness, not even hers. But i think you should have broken up with her much much earlier, because now she's ... (read in full...)

Should I be doubling my efforts to become a social media butterfly? Should I just be me and hope she accepts it?

Q.   I am quite shy and not a big talker. I’m also (I think) thoughtful and an excellent listener. I seem to get along well with extroverted women who talk enough for the both of us and appreciate my attentiveness. I’ve had a few relationships (lasting ...

A.   8 February 2019: As a female who rarely if ever texts/call people, I feel your pain. I don't understand people who constantly need be communication every few hours, esp if there are plans to see each other soon already. My advice is communicate. Tell her how you ... (read in full...)

I'm bisexual and I have a girlfriend but I develop deep, emotional but non-sexual bonds with much older women. Why does this happen?

Q.   Hi everyone! Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I'm not sure my question belongs on a relationship site, but this is seems like the most suited place I've come across so far so I'm just gonna give it a try. I'm a bisexual (or pan...

A.   4 February 2019: It's call friendship connection. I've had that alot, more with men but also a few women. We humans are all seeking that deep connection so when you feel it, you feel it. Nothing be shamed about and its not cheating so I don't see a problem here at ... (read in full...)

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