New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login241027 questions, 1065476 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*inginbluebird agony aunt


United States  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *inginbluebird to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *inginbluebird a private message

*inginbluebird's Ratings

Rating: 7.51

*inginbluebird's profile:

Want to help people and enjoy it. Stay safe and make sure, true love is self love first.

1234567Next > [7 pages, 227 answers]

I don't like children at all but why am I thinking about the possibilty?

Q.   I’m 26 and have never ever ever wanted children in my whole life and the thought of giving birth and being pregnant makes me feel sick and squeamish. I don’t even find babies or children cute and I get very uncomfortable around them~ at Christmas I ...

A.   18 February 2019: Your dealing with what most women in late 20s sometimes think about. Which is children . And that's okay, it's an idea. Having children or not is a personal choice and its yours alone and with your partner. But from everything you've stated it ... (read in full...)

I’m falling out of love, but can’t manage to walk away! Any advice?

Q.   Hi everyone my name is James, i am currently in a 9 year relationship. For the last few years i felt like ive fallen out of love with my girlfriend. I am the only source of income in the relationship. Im very ambitious she is the complete opposite. ...

A.   18 February 2019: I'm sorry hear this. But you said exactly what you yourself need do. Break it off and move on. You are not responsible for anyone's happiness, not even hers. But i think you should have broken up with her much much earlier, because now she's ... (read in full...)

Should I be doubling my efforts to become a social media butterfly? Should I just be me and hope she accepts it?

Q.   I am quite shy and not a big talker. I’m also (I think) thoughtful and an excellent listener. I seem to get along well with extroverted women who talk enough for the both of us and appreciate my attentiveness. I’ve had a few relationships (lasting ...

A.   8 February 2019: As a female who rarely if ever texts/call people, I feel your pain. I don't understand people who constantly need be communication every few hours, esp if there are plans to see each other soon already. My advice is communicate. Tell her how you ... (read in full...)

I'm bisexual and I have a girlfriend but I develop deep, emotional but non-sexual bonds with much older women. Why does this happen?

Q.   Hi everyone! Thanks in advance for taking the time to read this. I'm not sure my question belongs on a relationship site, but this is seems like the most suited place I've come across so far so I'm just gonna give it a try. I'm a bisexual (or pan...

A.   4 February 2019: It's call friendship connection. I've had that alot, more with men but also a few women. We humans are all seeking that deep connection so when you feel it, you feel it. Nothing be shamed about and its not cheating so I don't see a problem here at ... (read in full...)

What is more important for a long term relationship: sexual attraction or comapnionship?

Q.   The last two relationships I was in were with two very different types of people. One was with a guy who flirted with me from the day we met, and who I was strongly attracted to. Once we broke the ice we couldn't keep our hands off each other. The ...

A.   2 February 2019: Seek someone where you can have both. Of course second is more ideal because they last longer, are built over time, and there is trust. But sexual attraction is very important as well. No sex and a relationship is basically friendship. The right guy ... (read in full...)

How to deal with social anxiety and awkwardness?

Q.   I am an introvert and struggle in social settings. I feel like there is really no good reason for this - I am confident, reasonably attractive, successful, etc. (the point being that I have nothing to feel insecure about). I do great in one-on-one ...

A.   31 January 2019: Why do you assume this is a weakness? You sound intelligent and self aware. You say you're excellent on one-on-one interactions so try cultivate that strength. It hardly matters if you're great not great in social groups, if you hold yourself as a ... (read in full...)

Should a man break up with a woman over not getting enough sex?

Q.   Been in a relationship for two years, am 63, she is 58, I work one job she has one full time job an a part time job. I pretty much live with her, own my own house to.what's up is maybe sex once every two months, she always got an excuse.she just ...

A.   21 January 2019: Sex is extremely important and it differentiates friendship from a romantic relationship. My advice is bring it up that you're needs are not being met. If she loves you she will try to meet them ( As you should try meet her needs for cuddling, ... (read in full...)

How do you cope with the loss of a potential relationship?

Q.   I was dating a guy for a few weeks until this weekend. I wasn’t overly keen for the first month or so, but finally something clicked on the weekend and I finally let my guard down and invested. We had sex and he stayed the night. A few days lat...

A.   30 September 2018: You resisted him and then gave in and he lost interest. Its same story everywhere but you opened up physically and didnt tell him how you felt. He felt no connection. And he got the sex and left. He needed to felt inspire to be with you and he felt ... (read in full...)

Our tastes in porn seem to clash

Q.   Hello. Thank to you for reading my post. When me and my boyfriend got together he mentioned porn use a few times casually. And from time to time he's admitted to using it for masturbating during our brief periods away from each other. I thou...

A.   14 September 2018: He may be uncomfortable with fact that your porn involved women only and may wonder if youre only attracted to women ? It sounds like you are not but it leaves him uncomfortable. He suggested watching men because he wants to see if men turns you on ... (read in full...)

Is she worth pursuing?

Q.   I'm in a really low place right now. I've been dating a girl for the past 4 months ( I'm 30 she's 26) and during the past month she's grown incredibly distant. She only texts me when I text her now, sometimes it takes her days to reply, she never ...

A.   7 September 2018: Just stop. Dont degrade yourself by continuously pursuing her! Shes not being forthcoming, shes doing the fade and of course people are immature for doing it but actions speak louder than words. Shes not talking to you, shes cancelling plans, shes ... (read in full...)

She's had more sexual experience than I have. Will I regret it later?

Q.   I'm a 25 year old guy, my girlfriend is 33. We've been on/off for a year and have quite a strong bond (we broke up once, recently rekindled it, now its getting serious again. No other partners in the inbetween) I have a real problem with our...

A.   4 September 2018: Break it off. The fact that you second doubt this relationship means it will never work. Either youre all in or not. Her past is not even a concern, I think youre not a fit. If you truly love someone, their pasts becomes absolutely unimportant so ... (read in full...)

Should I continue to try this relationship or end it early? She's great but I find myself wanting more

Q.   I'm a 36 year old working professional and have been with my girlfriend for a little over a year, she's 24 and had just graduated college and recently gotten a job (a decent one too). Like any relationships, at the beginning it was all sweet he...

A.   19 August 2018: End it now. Your post is literal cry for a woman, not a girl. I think she's too young for you and you know it, when you speak of a deeper conection I think you mean you want a woman you connect with deeply emotionally and intellec... (read in full...)

He earns three times more but wants to split the bills 50/50

Q.   my boyfriend has recently asked me to move in with him. we had a conversation about our finances and his expectation of what i should contribute to the household expenses. He wants to split everything 50/50. We got into an argument over this because ...

A.   26 April 2018: Do not move with him. END OF STORY. ... (read in full...)

I'm 25 my girlfriend is 67, its time we went public with the Age Gap.

Q.   This question is about being true to myself in front of my family and friends. I seem like a normal 25 year old guy. I graduated from college 3 years ago. I have a good job. I don't smoke. Don't drink. I go to church when I can. On occasion, I date ...

A.   18 March 2018: Please dont. Age is just a number, yes, but if you have not had sex nor lived with her, marrying her would be a terrible idea. I understand youre attracted to older women but she will be 70 soon, and when shes 80 youll only be in your 30s. You... (read in full...)

I have first date jitters, due to my acne! I

Q.   I'm in my mid/late 20s and met a woman off a dating website who seems incredible (she's in her late 20s/early 30s) - we started chatting briefly using the site and found we had a lot in common. We then exchanged numbers and started chatting ...

A.   5 February 2018: My advice is just show up, be you, be confident or better yet just be COMFORTABLE with who you are. You dont need permission to love yourself as you are, show up, have fun, give her an amazing date, be the best version of yourself , and thats all ... (read in full...)

Advice needed - break up or work through it?

Q.   Hi, I've in my late 20's and I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. I love her and she is an amazing woman but our relationship has recently taken a lot of hits and it's affecting both of our happiness. To the point, we are both seri...

A.   4 February 2018: I think because you are asking this question, you should break it off with her. Lots of religious men are willing to date women from different cultures/religions, the ones that cant are very similar to you (they only see life thru their own eyes). ... (read in full...)

Am I justified in feeling hurt or did I do the wrong thing?

Q.   Dear Cupid, Sorry for the long post, Thankyou to anyone who takes the time to read my story. I am in my late twenties and in a new relationship of 6 months with a man 2 years younger than me. He is the most amazing person I have ever met a...

A.   30 January 2018: Hes def showing you who he is and def hes getting over you. I also wonder if you left out clues about what else happened that night for him to act completely cold and selfish ? He clearly is fine with you getting to know his friends, he invited ... (read in full...)

Three dates in and she does't want to kiss!

Q.   So I met a girl through Tinder and we went out for dinner. I'm 30 and she's 27. We hit it off really well. We talked for nearly 4 hours. She had a pretty bad cough though, and I didn't attempt any sort of physical contact except a brief touch of the ...

A.   30 January 2018: Shes not as interested as you or else she would have kissed you by second or third date. Cut her off and say youre not interested. Move on and be open to dating women who stick with plans, desire you, and have positive views on men ... (read in full...)

Three dates in and she does't want to kiss!

Q.   So I met a girl through Tinder and we went out for dinner. I'm 30 and she's 27. We hit it off really well. We talked for nearly 4 hours. She had a pretty bad cough though, and I didn't attempt any sort of physical contact except a brief touch of the ...

A.   30 January 2018: Shes just enjoying the attention and probably is dating around as well. She repeatedly cancelled on you and threw you around to fit her schedule. Tbh you should stand up and say you wished she had told you before , before she decided change her mind ... (read in full...)

He’s very affectionate towards everyone! Does this sound strange?

Q.   Hi there I started seeing a guy around 3 months ago. One of the things i love about that he is very very affectionate towards me. At gome and out in public. He sometimes says to be before we go out'can i kiss you a lot tonight in publi...

A.   28 January 2018: My immediate thought was that hes probably a passionate man,very empathetic, a giver. prefer works with his hands, and his love language is touch. So theres absolutely nothing wrong with him , however he should be a little mindful with hiw ... (read in full...)

He seemed so into me, said he had no wrong intentions... Then why did he ghost me after that evening of no sex?

Q.   I commute to work and every Friday, as I'm waiting at my bus stop, a young man would come and wait for the bus as well. We would exchange polite nods of the head, smiles, "good mornings" and then both of us would retreat back to our cell phones, ...

A.   28 January 2018: Hes prob a young guy thinking older women are a young easy lay , not true but he has his misconceptions. He sees that all time he took texting or seducing you, that youre not easy. So hes no longer interested. Just move on , dont call him and it may ... (read in full...)

Do I buy him a Christmas present?

Q.   Hey all.. I've met a lovely guy - on tinder actually - we have had 3 dates and have both come off tinder as we have agreed we would like to see where this relationship goes. We are seeing each other again on Saturday.. but Christmas day is Monda...

A.   24 December 2017: Nope! Three dates only ? Just send a happy birthday text or when you see him, a small Christmas treat only. Keep it light and easygoing for now :)... (read in full...)

I broke up with my fiancé after 5 years together, she is begging me to come back!

Q.   Hello, We live in one of the bigger cities on the West Coast. Met my ex-fiancee (wow, writing that still hurts) 5 years ago. I run a couple successful tech companies so for the last two years I've been traveling back and forth (spending together...

A.   30 October 2017: I think you broke it off for valid reasons and you seem so genuinely nice but it sounds like youve allowed her to walk over you for a really long time. Shes so used it-- she knows if she cries or beg you back, you willingly take her back because she ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is being too needy, is it unhealthy?

Q.   How often is too often to see your significant other? In the last few relationships I’ve felt burned out too quickly from them and I think it’s a problem I’m having with myself. I’m dating a girl now and have been for the last year. She does e...

A.   26 October 2017: It sounds like youre burnt out, communicate how you feel or break off the relationship. 5-6 times is a lot, I am a female who also loves my space so even once a week was very satisfying with previous men I have dated. With dating, quality time ... (read in full...)

Should I try to see if he is available? If so how?

Q.   Ok! Where do I start? I met a boy seven years ago. We were on a summer abroad in Australia and we fell madly in love with each other. When the summer ended we both went back home. But lived in opposite parts of the country and it just wouldn’t have ...

A.   23 October 2017: If after 7 years and you are not over him you have to messsage him and see what happens. These feelings are not going to go anywhere if you do not face them. It sounds like hes not quite over you too. Message him and see what happens. Meet him . ... (read in full...)

Is 15 years too big a gap for us?

Q.   Hi I have been talking to a guy on line who states he is 39 although looks a little older in his picture. I am a 54 year old woman but I do not look my age and have stated that I am 43. I work as Cabin Crew and surrounded by loads of young p...

A.   22 October 2017: I dont think age matters in this case if you young at heart, fit, and confident but starting off with a lie about your age is not a good thing. It will be only thing working against you in this case. Its always best be truthful so you both start on ... (read in full...)

Why can a woman reject sex but if her boyfriend does it, it's the worst thing ever?

Q.   Why does a female get so offended when you reject her from any pleasure? I been in relationship nearly 4 / 5 years. She doesn’t have same sex drive as me, she felt up for it once in our week long holiday, but because I’m so used to not having it she ...

A.   2 October 2017: All I can think of is, why are you with her ? Everything you listed have been cons, there are no pros. After 4 to 5 five years and youre not happy, time to call it off and enjoy single life for a while. Then you can focus on finding someone you are ... (read in full...)

Is this something I can fix by correcting a few actions in our relationship? Do I give her space and trust that she will end up with me? What do I do?

Q.   My gf of 1.5 years recently told me that she likes a guy from work as as more than friends but is unsure about what to do. She said she loves me and she doesn't love him because it is too early to tell. She said she recognizes that it is unfair to ...

A.   20 September 2017: Reverse role and if a guy said what your girlfriend said to you to another girl, everyone would call him a douche, player, and loser. She is essentially that. Shes saying I want to see if I have chemistry with someone and have sex with him but I ... (read in full...)

I'm not as turned on by my IRL girlfriend as I was with the LDR!

Q.   I've recently started dating a girl from my work who is the sweet, caring, interesting, real girlfriend material. Before her I was casually seeing a girl I met online, it was nothing serious, just dating and a lot of sex really. Now here's my ...

A.   20 September 2017: Easy-- you just had more sexual chemistry with the casual girl. She probably was more interested your body, fun, bold, and horny. I feel like your girlfriend is probably mote sweet and endearing than sexual. Every girl is different. You have to tell ... (read in full...)

I'm 28, watched my father die, and now watching my mother die. How to deal with anger?

Q.   I am 28 years old. My parents have been divorced since I was a child. Both of my parents have had poor health for as long as I can remember -- extreme obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, heart issues, and so on. As I grew up, I watched my fat...

A.   20 September 2017: Im so sorry to hear this. I am 27 and I lost my parents within a year, both due to poor health choices. My mom reluctantly died of cancer after a few months of diagnosis. I eas devastated, she also by choice did not have chemo. I was also very angry ... (read in full...)

His porno preference is ruining our marriage

Q.   I simply can't accept that my husband wanted to look at porn with women that were the age of our daughter, around 20. I find this disgusting and don't seem to be able to get past it even though he tells me he isn't looking at it anymore. It's not ...

A.   18 March 2017: I'm a female who loves porn. My advice is stop playing the victim. I am compassionate but honey, it's all just entertainment ! You're the woman he comes home too, had a life with, the woman who he gives pleasure to and kisses !!! These are women he ... (read in full...)

Where Can I Find A Guy To Date Casually?

Q.   I moved to a new city recently so don't know too many people outside work (I do have lovely good friends, but they're mostly older women who can't introduce me to many guys) and not many single guys my age. I'm inexperienced with guys too, never ...

A.   15 February 2017: Sure, try Okcupid, POF, or Tinder. There are wonderful dating sites out there, I cant even promote dating sites enough. How else can you meet a variety of cool people from all walks of life, all types of careers, throughout the entire city??? ... (read in full...)

I am a transgender man, dating a woman but I prefer sex with men.

Q.   I am a transgender man and I have been dating a very respectful, understanding woman for a few months now. We have reached the stage where she wants to define our relationship and move forward together, though I feel conflicted on how to progress or ...

A.   15 February 2017: As I say, follow your groin. Its telling you something, I think you should continue to date men and be open to all possibility of men. Seek a more emotional connection, I know you stated its only been physical and lust with men but why not channel ... (read in full...)

Is my wife secretly interested in a threesome?

Q.   So we've been married now for 3 years. And we have 2 beautiful boys. Our romantic relationship is starting to get better than it ever has been in the past and my wife(Bev) and I are really enjoying ourselves and each other. Bev only has a couple ...

A.   15 February 2017: No, if shes interested in a threesome she would not hint at it. She would straight up say she wants one... (read in full...)

I'm tired of the way our life is going and wonder if its time to throw in the towel

Q.   Hi I need some advice and somewhere to express exactly how I feel, I have been with my current partner for a little over 7 years now, she fell pregnant very early in the relationship (within the first 4 - 6 weeks). After which she was diagnosed wi...

A.   14 February 2017: I'm so so sorry hear about your going through. Hugs, but I am going to give you some tough love. Why did you keep having kids? Please stop right now. A woman or even a person who is having depression, is not in their right mind to give life ... (read in full...)

How can manage to be less idealistic in this situation? I accidentally idealize my LDR partner and get disappointed when my expectations don't mesh with reality

Q.   I'm in a long distance relationship which is hard because in his absence, I fill in the gaps of who I think he is or what he's like from memory and my memory is always more rosy than reality. Like right now I just think he's the greatest I want to ...

A.   9 February 2017: It's clear he is not the person you envision him to be because you just stated he acts different from the idealized bf you imagined. I think you need to talk to him more and meet him more. Some people who pursue long distance partners do so b... (read in full...)

I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...

A.   9 February 2017: Talk to her! Only she can clarify if its true or not and if that person was indeed her and only she can explain her actions. She is your wife, she deserves love and compassion and also I'm sure she wants to hear your side of things and youre ... (read in full...)

Its awkward at work and I am considering quitting!

Q.   Months ago I made mistake of expressing interest in a work colleague by giving him my number but he never called/texted then exaggerated/lied as to why he didn't call.I felt little embarrassed but no big deal.I tried to be still friendly and ...

A.   3 February 2017: My advice is stop being friendly and cordial and leave that job asap. He's clearly not comfortable even being around you so far as to change his shift and lied that he quit! He is avoiding you at all cost and to him. Hes treating you so awful and ... (read in full...)

Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?

Q.   Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...

A.   30 January 2017: Life is so short--- School will always be there! This opportunity is once in a lifetime. Even if acting career doesnt pan out, you can always say you did something cool in your 20s. You have the rest of your life to go back to school. But only... (read in full...)

After 9 years together and 3 children our sex life remains bland. I love her. How can I find ways to interest her in oral sex?

Q.   Hi, I'm 26 years old. I have a fiancé I've been with for 9 years who is also 26 years old. We have 3 beautiful kids together. My question today is, why won't my fiancé suck me off? I have literally tried everything but I cannot convince her to d...

A.   30 January 2017: There are a lot of great answers from aunts and uncles on this site for similar questions such as yours. Here is one: That said, in your case--it sounds like shes always... (read in full...)

*inginbluebird's friends

These are mutual friends, so *inginbluebird has added them and they have added *inginbluebird!

Abella agony auntAbella
Bearinhk1981 agony auntBearinhk1981
Eagle'sfan1986 agony auntEagle'sfan1986
EyeNeedhelp agony auntEyeNeedhelp
Honeypie agony auntHoneypie
jfire86 agony auntjfire86
MyPersonalLife agony auntMyPersonalLife
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
sgh agony auntsgh
Songwr1ter agony auntSongwr1ter
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1
Yamadron agony auntYamadron

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft