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*issKin

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*issKin's profile:

Hi all. Have been using this site for a long time.

I'm in my mid 20's, in a long term relationship and have been with my significant other for over three years.

Hope to be able to provide fair and honest advice to people without judging.

Latest articles:

How to be secure in love...

This question has 5 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

11 October 2008: How to be secure in love... When you enter a relationship, it opens up hundreds, thousands of uncertain feelings. Little potholes in our sanity and they can easily make their ways into becoming tunnels. I was the most confident person in the wo...

Sex is a funny thing...

This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

13 January 2008: I have recently started going out with a guy that I am CRAZY about. I really love him and our relationship has moved really quickly. We were close friends first and both rather secretive about feeling anything more for the other, afraid to ruin what ...

1234567891011Next > [10 pages, 345 answers]

My girlfriend is insecure. What do I need to do from here?

Q.   I told my gf that we should catch up with an old friend of mine and she got jealous and upset. Ive known this friend for 15 years or so but havent seen them for 6-8 years, havent spoke to her for 3 years! Shes getting married and I tried to t...

A.   16 February 2018: I have to say, as an insecure person myself, I'd be happy to be included and wouldn't feel as jealous because surely if there was anything to be worried about you wouldn't be inviting her to go with? I think she needs to work on this issue. Talk... (read in full...)

I'm afraid if I have a baby I will have to do all the housework and take care of the baby too

Q.   My husband and I are planning a baby. I’m a bit worried however that I’ve to do all the housework and take care of the baby as well. I have told my husband that we should move to The West Coast to my friend so she can be involved throughout. My ...

A.   16 February 2018: So he is helpful around the house but you don't feel his efforts are good enough? Seems a bit unfair on him. At least he is helping even if you don't think it is good enough. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect you to look after the baby and ... (read in full...)

My husband is a hopeless cook who thinks he is great

Q.   My husband likes to cook but is bad at it. I am a great cook since I’ve worked in the restaurant industry for ten years. I want to teach him and have him start by helping me chop the vegetables and take care of the kitchen first before doing the ...

A.   16 February 2018: I think you're being over the top in your reaction. Saying that he clearly doesn't see it your way. He is happy to help and cook, but only to do it his way. You don't want him to cook you just want to use him as an assistant. My advice would be... (read in full...)

I feel jealous and insecure around my 10 years younger girlfriend

Q.   I'm dating my girlfriend for almost 3 months, she's ten years younger, very sweet and caring, but there is a few issues that I'd like to share. She's still in college, sometimes I get worried and jealous about other guys hitting on her! She u...

A.   16 February 2018: Ten years is a bit age gap at your age. You're in completely different stages of your lives. She's at the partying college stage where she does not know what she wants and needs to experience the world. You shouldn't be jealous and you can't real... (read in full...)

After 2 years together I sense that something isn't right

Q.   I'm in a two year relationship and although my boyfriend cheated on me, one night stand, at the very start of our relationship, we managed to work through it and we are still together now. We had been together for 4 months, and he confesse...

A.   4 February 2018: Why don't you start by talking to him about why is seems less interested in doing things? Don't mention the phone, don't make him think you don't trust him. Just talk to him about how you are worried he is bored of you. And go from there? I've ... (read in full...)

I didn't realise being a bridesmaid would mean so much pre wedding work!

Q.   Hi folks, I’m looking for some help working out if I’m being unreasonable; if my friend is; or if it’s a bit of both. So basically my friend is getting married in August and I’m going to be a bridesmaid. That’s all fine, but the problem is she s...

A.   1 February 2018: I understand. You didn't ASK to be a bridesmaid. And it is a lot of work if the bride makes it that way. You're not obligated to help and if I were you, the assumption that I will/can/should prioritise someone's wedding over my own life would make ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says he will break up with me if I move 150 miles away

Q.   Iv been dating my boyfriend for a year and i love him so much. But i want to move in with my friend who lives 150 miles away and my boyfriend says if i do he will split up with me and look for someone else. So now i feel trapped because i dont want ...

A.   25 January 2018: I wouldn't expect him to stay with you in that distance. I also wouldn't expect you not to go. Perhaps it's life telling it isn't meant to be. He needs to sort his life out and you need to move on in yours. I don't think it's a matter of if you love ... (read in full...)

My ex treated me badly, now I don't have the confidence to date again.

Q.   I don't think I'm still fully over what happened with my ex/ex friend and it still affects potential dating. It's been over a year now since I last saw him. We started out as friends, then it became more, but he wasn't treating me well so I ended ...

A.   18 January 2018: Of course you didn't deserve to be treated that way. It's also bound to have hit your self esteem. The most important thing, I think, is to treat dating as if you're just hoping to meet new people and make new friends, have a few new experien... (read in full...)

I feel stuck,I know I love him but don't know if I can trust him.

Q.   I’ll spare the gory details, but I dated this guy for about 9 months (September ‘16 - Jun ‘17). It was the happiest relationship of my life. I was the first to say I love you (which I’ve never done before) about 6 months in; he said it, then took it ...

A.   10 January 2018: Why are you so desperate for him to say 'i love you'? Personally I think being strong enough to say it and take it back shows he wants it to be genuine, wants to be sure he can way it without ever taking it back. He obviously takes the words very ... (read in full...)

I ended things at Christmas and gave each other's presents back, but she is furious about it!

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years, but we don't live together. I've been hesitant of her moving in, because in the past she has professed the belief that a man should sacrifice himself financially for a woman. Because of this, we ...

A.   31 December 2017: I don't believe relationships can work unless your fundamental views on certain things compliment each other. You don't agree financially. Her attitude obviously annoys you and you disagree with her privileged approach to the point where you broke ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend getting friendly with my colleague. Should I worry?

Q.   My girlfriend recently became friends with one of my work colleagues on Facebook. On Christmas morning, whilst I was still asleep, my girlfriend sent my colleague a message saying Merry Christmas along with a selfie of herself fully made up. She's ...

A.   27 December 2017: This would make me worry. I don't think it's necessary to send a selfish. You could argue away just a merry Christmas text but not the picture as well unless she sent it to everyone she knows. ... (read in full...)

I'm low on cash but why are dates so weird with me but good to other girls?

Q.   I am underemployed, I am very up front with guys that I am not earning much. I even offer to alternate paying/split early on. However men I date are very funny about my financial situation. An example is a guy who I dated recently who boasted to me ...

A.   26 December 2017: It sounds to me, despite what you say, that you do WANT and EXPECT the guys to pay, even if you offer. If you can't afford to pay - do cheaper things. It shouldn't matter at the start who earns more as you just do things within your price range. ... (read in full...)

A practical joke gone horribly wrong

Q.   My friend Bailey and I played a joke on our friend Eve just to embarrass her and teach her a lesson but Bailey took it too far and now Eve got suspended and her parents punished her real bad. She's not aloud to talk to us or anyone or go anywhere ...

A.   10 December 2017: What if, to teach YOU a "lesson" (as you seem to be keen on doing for Eve) Bailey went behind your back, stuck loads of pictures in YOUR locker and then told the head teacher that it was you who did it and there's evidence in your locker? Would that ... (read in full...)

Do you think he is behaving normally?

Q.   I had to switch doctors because my old doctor retired. I went in to see him to followup on a rash I had on my face. He looked at it once and said it looked better. Then he examined my eye because I had a swollen, red eyelid. After that he examined ...

A.   25 November 2017: In first aid I was taught to use the back or my hands to feel for injuries. I'm not actually sure why. But it makes sense to me that he used the back of his hands. He'd have been assessing how 'bumpy' the rash was and maybe the back of the hand is a ... (read in full...)

Do I tell my son she's cheating?

Q.   My son's wife is cheating on him. Both she and my son are 29 and have been together for just over 9 years. I received an e-mail about 4 years ago from someone who has sent me evidence that she has been cheating on him for the past 5 or 6 years w...

A.   29 October 2017: He is your son! Why haven't you told him? I would tell him immediately. Show him the evidence. Tell him at an appropriate time but I think you've waited long enough..how could you let this carry on? Oh dear. ... (read in full...)

He's changed how the trip expenses will be split!

Q.   So, I'm in a relatively new relationship.....we met in June but things have gotten more serious in the past 2 months where we now are exclusive......he's been talking about an event he wants to attend in the big apple in december and so we've been ...

A.   24 October 2017: I don't understand why you wouldn't have responded with "you said all I had to pay for was the ticket to the event"? And that should have cleared up the situation. Either you'd have found a compromise or you wouldn't. If you can't afford half of it, ... (read in full...)

Should I let my wife have a young lover since I can't perform as I once did?

Q.   My wife (aged 55)and very attractive, and I have been married for 24 years and over the last 3 years I (aged 57) have had trouble maintaining an erection during sex, I have tried all the usual medications but I get side effects from them, so I have ...

A.   11 October 2017: I'm confused - you go to the bathroom to masturbate? Why isn't she pleasuring you? And surely if you can find pleasure in this way then it's just penetrative sex you're struggling with? There must be a solution to that (counselling, changing ... (read in full...)

Why can a woman reject sex but if her boyfriend does it, it's the worst thing ever?

Q.   Why does a female get so offended when you reject her from any pleasure? I been in relationship nearly 4 / 5 years. She doesn’t have same sex drive as me, she felt up for it once in our week long holiday, but because I’m so used to not having it she ...

A.   2 October 2017: Clearly, you're not compatible. It's been four years and more and you're not happy. You even say "she is not worth talking to". I don't know what you can do to be honest. If you've tried talking and it hasn't changed and even when she makes an ... (read in full...)

How should this family go about dividing my late Grandmother's jewelry?

Q.   My family is dividing my grandmother's jewelery this weekend. The divide is between my mother (daughter), my cousin (granddaughter), me (granddaughter), and my cousin's 15 year old (great-granddaughter). My mom insists that my grandmother told her ...

A.   7 September 2017: Can you speak to you grandfather? Surely he should decide who has what? Clearly doing something like a "lucky dip" wouldn't work if people are greedy. Could you grandfather give it out as Christmas gifts? That way everyone gets one nice thing, a... (read in full...)

My co-worker is trying to paint me as a bully!

Q.   Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. I work with this girl who is trying to paint me as a Bully. We don't always see eye to eye. She says I pick on her when I have to tell her she is doing something wrong. I don't like being that person. Its because I have a...

A.   6 September 2017: If it is your job to provide feedback maybe you need to have a sit down with her with a manager present to clear the air. She can say what her problems are and you can say your point. It works in a "I feel offended when you say abc because I don't ... (read in full...)

Is it ever ok for your boyfriend to insinuate that you're fat? Feeling hurt and ashamed, how do I react?

Q.   Hey guys :-) I was just hoping for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I think of myself as a really good girlfriend to him. When we first got together we were both in very good shape. However over the years we've both put w...

A.   27 August 2017: It's understandable (but NOT acceptable) that he suddenly seems to be being negative about your appearance. If he is suddenly so into his own shape and weight then maybe he wants you to be the same? Maybe it's all gone to his head and he's forgotten ... (read in full...)

Why won't he Marry me?

Q.   Hi, I have been with my partner 6 years next month. I never wanted to get married, was never something that was important to me. Until I was in love. We have been together 6 years and have agreed to start trying for a baby next year after my friends ...

A.   23 August 2017: As long as you both agree that you want the same things then what is your problem? He said yes and one day. He didn't say "no, never". If you're going to be together forever why does it have to be a rush to get there? Be patient. Maybe he is wait... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's friend comes over when I'm not there, now they slept in the same bed. What is going on?

Q.   when I first met my bf he had this girl that was his friend but they also hooked up a lot. And she wanted to have a relationship with him. But he didn't want to be in a relationship. She found a bf. And after a few months me and my bf started ...

A.   23 August 2017: Ditch him. I've been there and done that and "Oh we're just friends who hooked up once and share a bed every now and then. It's just a friend thing. Don't be jealous." you will never come first and you will never be able to get them apart without ... (read in full...)

How can I manage my wedding envy?

Q.   First let me tell you that I know how utterly ridiculous I sound, but here's the story. I am 29 and have been with my partner for 9 years and we are engaged. We have travelled together and have good jobs. We were going to get married this year bu...

A.   20 August 2017: I think it's a natural feeling when someone younger than you reaches a "milestone" before you that you're really excited to get to. Just try to be happy. Day dream about your own wedding and use their experience as advice for what might go wrong... (read in full...)

My boyfried wont communicate!

Q.   My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...

A.   5 August 2017: You've got two children together???? He should be ashamed of himself. How often does he speak to them? Has he not seen them in months either? Honestly sometimes you're better off without. He doesn't not sound like he is in love with you and isn'... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wont give me a BJ!

Q.   My girl and i are in long distance relationship since the starting and we love and trust each other deeply. We do occasionally meet and have wonderful sex . Currently we are even planning to get married and get our parents involved . Now m...

A.   5 August 2017: Blow jobs do NOT equal love. Her unwillingness to give you one does not mean she does not love you. It's ridiculous. And don't use the excuse that you give it, so you should get it. Have you even asked her if she likes them? I used to do things w... (read in full...)

My boyfried wont communicate!

Q.   My bf and I took a long break but decided to try it again in Dec.My issue is he lives and works 2 hrs away. I haven't seen him in 3 months.I told him I need some form of communication (text,call,video chat)atleast once a day.Not for hrs at a time ...

A.   5 August 2017: Two hours isn't really THAT long a distance. Why have you not managed to see each other at least once a month? I used to have a bf who moved to uni and for three years we were 200miles and a 5.5hour train journey from each other and I saw him once a ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend masterbated to porn next to me while I was sleeping

Q.   Hello, so I woke up next to my boyfriend yesterday and noticed porn in his history, I was confused so I asked him why he had porn in his history and he said he fapped last night. I asked him if he did it right next to me and he said yes!!!! Is it ...

A.   29 July 2017: I think it's disgusting. You're not over reacting. You have every right to not approve of it. I wouldn't be happy about it. Masterbate when I'm not home, not when I'm home in a different room, home and in the bath - no. Yea everyone has a righ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriend being wise and protecting himself? Or is there more to the story?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have a very happy relationship, we spend a lot of our time together, we go out, stay in, and we have a lot of sex and we're very affectionate towards one another. We are in the process of selling our houses separately and buying ...

A.   25 July 2017: We have just bought a house. My boyfriend had a £15000 deposit and I had £4000. That's a huge difference. We both own the same amount of the house. We agree that should we break up and it is still appropriate, we will make sure he has an extra ... (read in full...)

I cheated on my fiance and am looking at others because of the lack of sex in our relationship

Q.   Looking for advice... I'm marrying my fiancé next year whom I've been with for 9 years. We've had our ups and downs over the years and he's not had much time for me over the past couple of years as he's been studying on top of his full time job. Thi...

A.   13 July 2017: How callous and heartless and thoughtless of you both to agree it is only a "one time thing" like that is any justification for what you did. Cheating is cheating. Leave your fiance if he isn't giving you what you want. He deserves better and y... (read in full...)

Is it that bad I really feel down about it?

Q.   This is so silly but Ive been feeling really down about my friends accomplishments. One being; I've been learning to drive for a good while now and not booked a date for my practical test. My friend has just started (well not long started) and she...

A.   11 July 2017: Learning to drive is just one of those things that takes different people different times. It's okay to have a moment of "Oh I wish I was booking my test" or a little bit of jealousy but it's important to let it go quickly. You re your own person ... (read in full...)

Hes been exchanging suggestive messages with an ex ... should I break up with him?

Q.   A few months ago, my boyfriend and I argued over a woman that he had been making sexual comments with on facebook. He said that he was joking, but I didn't think it was funny. She said she had a soft spot for him, then he mentioned a "hard spot" , ...

A.   7 July 2017: You sound so distressed and so unhappy. You obviously have trust issues which have not been helped by his complete lack of respect and his choice to think sending sexual messages to anyone other than his girlfriend is okay. It isn't about if he ... (read in full...)

I need him to be more adventurous in bed

Q.   Well, my boyfriend and I have a decent sexual relationship. However, I wanted to try something different and interesting, but he wanted nothing of it. Most of the time when one of us wants to have sex or fool around, we dance around the subje...

A.   1 July 2017: I think what you're asking for is for it to be more spontaneous? As in, you don't want a discussion beforehand so you've given pre-permission. Maybe you should talk to him about what HE might be comfortable with. He clearly isn't keen on what you... (read in full...)

I've never met this online date yet but his mother died. How do I approach this or help him?

Q.   Hey, my online date im yet to meet has just told me his mum died last week . We have been talking a while but im going on holiday so we cant meet just yet . apart from the usual that would be said how else should i handle the situation i dont ...

A.   27 June 2017: There's nothing you can say. You just say you're there to listen if he wants to talk and you want to be there for him however you can. The reality is nothing you can do can change anything or help really. So don't beat yourself up. He needs to ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't appreciate all that I do for him

Q.   I'm wondering if I can get any help and advice. My boyfriend and I, have been together since January. We met on tinder and have been a strong unit since. He had a good-ish paying job, a nice car, a very sweet and cheeky nature, and is just plain ha...

A.   25 June 2017: You are still recovering from your sexual assault. You are suffering from a lot of mental health illnesses. You are also learning to live with the ones that will continue to be ongoing. You are living in supported accommodation on income support. ... (read in full...)

We don't want kids or pregnancy but husband is against abortion. Help!

Q.   My husband and I never wanted children. I dislike children and the thought of being pregnant. He is fine with them but prefers not to have any of his own. We have always used condoms. I have never used any other kind of birth control. I do no...

A.   22 June 2017: Is it possible that he hasn't completely given up on the idea of having children? This is the only thing I can suggest as to why he would be against it. He obviously wants the option to remain open. If he was that against it he would be pushing for ... (read in full...)

Is my boyfriends best friend trying to break us up? Should the relationship be put after his best friend?

Q.   So this is a bit of a long story so I do apologise in advance. Back in December my boyfriend broke up with his ex girlfriend, then on a drunken evening on New Year's Eve he slept with his best friend, that was all it was to him. We are all part of a ...

A.   21 June 2017: I've actually been in this situation. It did not end well. You shouldn't have to put up with this. He should stand up for you and put his foot down with his "friend" but I bet that he won't. My ex didn't either. They basically cheated together but ... (read in full...)

14 months into the relationship, things aren't looking good, he is criticizing and we are arguing. What would you do?

Q.   Help!!! I am sorry if this is a long post but I need some advice. where to start? ok, so about 14 months ago I met the man of my dreams. He is loving, caring and we have so much in common (or so I thought) we started off slow and then got into a ...

A.   18 June 2017: You said yourself you are enjoying going to bed alone, you are enjoying your space, you are your own person and you don't want the criticism. Being in a loving, healthy relationship is about making each other feel good and inspiring each other to... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wanted to use an old tube of lubricant during sex but I got upset because he's used it with previous partners. Am I being silly?

Q.   Hi Everyone, So I have a bit of an awkward question, but genuinely don't know if I'm overreacting and too embarrassed too ask friends/family. So my boyfriend of 1 year has had a tube of lubricant in his drawer for a while, I noticed it a whil...

A.   16 June 2017: I've never really been bothered by this. I guess if it was hygienically used I'd be fine with it but if you're not comfortable, is it really a big deal for him to replace it? Why don't you buy some and just replace it yourself? I'm sure if he ... (read in full...)

Why would a man of his age want to have an affair with a much younger woman?

Q.   I am married and now having an affair with a man who told me he 70, but I did abackground check and hes 82!! My guess is he did not want to reveal his real age because I would have said no way. I really like him. I just think it's strange that a ...

A.   4 June 2017: I think it's strange that you're so concerned about this guys age but not about the fact that you're having an affair I also think it's odd that you're lying to your spouse and sleeping around. Maybe he didn't WANT to have affair with you spe... (read in full...)

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