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... Send polarkite a private message | | | polarkite's profile:I draw my advice from personal experience and watching movies, as well as a small bit of fiction and psychology.
I live in Seattle, Washington and I am 26 years old.
I find giving advice to be addictive. I'm not sure why.
My relationship status is recently broken-up. |
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14 and a virgin, I feel lonely and inadequate because all my friends have already had sex!
Q. I'm 14 and from Hampshire, England. all my friends have had sex. i feel lonley because i'm still a virgin. they arn't saying i MUST pop the cherry but i don't fit in anymore eg. i'm not invited to party. i've always been a bit awkward around p...
A. 12 April 2008: I recommend you take a step back and put things in perspective. What you need is confidence. The strength to be happy with the fact that you are different. That's the kind of confidence that attracts people.
Being different can pay off. It... (read in full...)
He disgusts me so much! All I see is an old pervert instead of the guy I fell in love with!
Q. I'm having some guy issues. I'm going out with a guy who I met online and I have been dating him for 4 1/2 years. It didn't occur to me that he would ever lie to me about his age. But it all started when my mom didnt believe me when I told her he ...
A. 12 April 2008: Yucko. I often get a creepy feeling when I see younger teenage girls with guys who are in their mid-twenties. Really, a respectable guy would usually not go out with a really young girl. Not sure why, but it's just against their sensibilities. ... (read in full...)
I'm engaged but have an irrepresable infatuation with someone else. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my fiancée for six years now. We got engaged last year. I love her dearly and want to be with her. The trouble comes when I want to have my cake and eat it too. I'm just not sure how to control these feelings. You see there is ...
A. 12 April 2008: I really like Annalisa's answer. It's true, you might just need tome to step back to reflect, instead of dumping it on your girlfriend. Then you can make a clear-headed decision on your own.... (read in full...)
What can I do about feeling super horny?
Q. I need advice.... Nowadays i get really really super horny. I dont think its hormones. I know alot of diffrent ways to masturbate. But i find it to be unsatisfying. Even when relaxed and empty minded. Btw i'm 14 years old and been masturbating since ...
A. 11 April 2008: Put that sexual energy into something else. For example, do physical exercise. Running is good. Yoga is really good. Your body is likely bored. It will give your body something to do and enjoy.... (read in full...)
Did he really like me, or did I just assume he was flirting?
Q. So here's the deal. I met a guy, a great guy. Funny, smart, tall and handsome. The works. We met while we were both working at the same location, for a few weeks. I think he "attempted" to flirt with me, jokes, teasing, poking me, asking me ...
A. 11 April 2008: He probably was interested in you, but most likely moved on after you showed a lack of interest.
Get in touch with him, let him know how you feel. Not sure what else to tell you. ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends ex girlfreind is pregnant with his kid what should I do??
Q. I need help. Me an my boyfrind have been together for five months and we love each other so much. But he just found out from his ex from ten months ago that she just had a baby and it might be his. Please help me and give me some advice on what sho...
A. 11 April 2008: The main question will be how is he going to deal with this, not you. He has some stuff to take care of now.
Plenty of girls would just ditch this guy at this moment. But it's up to you, how you want to react. Given your confusion, you might wa... (read in full...)
Do young woman say 25 to 35 usually find men say 50 to 58 old and sexually unattractive?
Q. Do young woman say 25 to 35 usually find men say 50 to 58 old and sexually unattractive? I find myself interested in a woman 35 but am not sure if she really feels anything for me sexually or is just being nice as a friend?...
A. 11 April 2008: It's unlikely, but it can happen. Watch the movie "As Good as it Gets."
You could just tell her how you feel and see what happens. She probably likes you on some level. Usually people are "nice" for a reason.... (read in full...)
I'm engaged but have an irrepresable infatuation with someone else. What do I do?
Q. I have been with my fiancée for six years now. We got engaged last year. I love her dearly and want to be with her. The trouble comes when I want to have my cake and eat it too. I'm just not sure how to control these feelings. You see there is ...
A. 11 April 2008: Wow.
Sometimes some of us are just not designed to be in long committed relationships. More than likely this infatuation is a manifestation of your desire to be with other woman. I doubt that it's truly this particular woman who has such a hold o... (read in full...)
How to approach a "shy" girl???
Q. How would you like a guy to approach you if you were shy??? I have a girl in my class who i am interested in, and i think she is interested in me too. everytime i turn to look at her, she is looking back at me, and my friends all say she looks at...
A. 11 April 2008: It can be easier to talk to a shy girl in some respects, as you will come off as confident and cool if you do it right. Just talk to her, suggest that you do something, shake up her world a little. She's not gonna do it, so someone has to get this ... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin even though he didnt break me?
Q. hi, yesterday i decided to have sex for the first time, i wanted to, the guy i tried to have it with i love so much, but when he tried to put it up it just wouldnt go in, even still i bled and it really hurt, am i still a virgin even though he didnt ...
A. 11 April 2008: Let's go to the dictionary.
Virgin
–noun
1. a person who has never had sexual intercourse.
sexual intercourse
–noun
1. genital contact, esp. the insertion of the penis into the vagina followed by orgasm; coitus; copu... (read in full...)
He just wants me as a friend now-I'm confused, please help!
Q. Hi there me again, the guy that i've met 2 years ago invited me to his place last night, he stay's on a farm a few km outside town when I got there he has lighten the fire place and got us a nice dvd we were lying on the coough watching the dvd he ...
A. 11 April 2008: Why is it not right? I don't understand either.
I would get to the bottom of it. Does he have another lover? Does he think your too young for him.
Answer that question, why he believes it is not right?
Just be prepared, as he might ha... (read in full...)
My girlfriend just broke up with me shall I wait or let her go?
Q. My girlfriend just broke up with me 4 days ago. I didn't realize that we'll end up like this because I thought that everything is flowing smoothly. We've been together for almost 1 and half years now and she told me that she still have feeling ...
A. 11 April 2008: Wow that's hard. She was pretty clear with you though, which is good. I'd say she definitely wants to be alone. So for the time being, you may just want to leave her alone, and find new ways of spending your extra time.
To be honest, I can't ... (read in full...)
I'm just worried about technique in case she has started to go off me since the last time we met...
Q. Tomorrow I'm meeting up with a girl who I've only met once before. I'm just worried about technique in case she has started to go off me in that time... do I remind her of our own little private jokes etc. or what? Do I have to try and act cool or ...
A. 11 April 2008: Technique is rather overrated. Unless you are a oil magnate , there is nothing here to consolidate.
If you want this girl to "like" you, you need to have and display qualities that are worth liking. So when you are out tomorrow, do things t... (read in full...)
I'm single and he's married, is it possible to be 'just friends'?
Q. Can a man and woman be friends? He is married, I am single. We were friends in college, ran into one another, and I am not sure if a friendship is appropriate. I feel I can be friends without complication, but can a man? Do they seek friendship f...
A. 30 March 2008: I think some guys are wired that way and others are not. I think most married guys mean well going into a friendship type relationship, but obviously that's not how things always turn out. I think as a guy matures, it becomes easier and m... (read in full...)
Why can't I get him to be more open with me, and tell me how he really feels?
Q. Hello, My boyfriend and i have been together for a long time, and we have had a long distance relationship for 8 months now. Everything was going great, but recently i have been noticing that he doesn't call,text or e-mail as much. His job i...
A. 30 March 2008: I don't know what it is, but us guys don't like being text'ed and e-mail all the time. On the other hand, a serious conversation with a lover, isn't a bad thing. However, when love becomes a routine (e.g. phone call every day) it is often ... (read in full...)
I want to take our relationship to the next level, but don't want to appear cheap!
Q. My boyfriend and i have been going out for two months now and all we've done is kiss. I really want to take it to the next level, but in every other relationship i've been in, it's the guy who's taken the intiative. How can i suggest to him that i w...
A. 30 March 2008: You are pretty young. Maybe he's never done anything more serious than kissing!! I just hope you are closer to the 16 end in your age bucket.
Anyway, one trick that usually works, is that you could try giving each other massages. The basic tr... (read in full...)
We're in love but live too far apart!!
Q. I'm in love with a guy who's far away!! I know he loves me and i love him, that's not the problem, but he's not going to move back here, and i dont think im going to move there anytime soon really. No one has, or ever will come close to him in my m...
A. 30 March 2008: Every relationship requires that time is put into it. Well, here's the possibilities of things you can do with each other: 1. write real letters 2. talk on the phone 3. visit 4. take a vacation 5. play an online game (e.g. scrabul... (read in full...)
She is my soul mate, lover, best friend, wife, and mother of my children. All she wants to do is party!!!
Q. My wife of almost 8 years left me for partying, and to "miss me" so she can fall in love again, from what she said. I know she is just out partying. This wouldn't be as big a deal, but we have 10 years together, 8 of which is marriage, and 3 chil...
A. 30 March 2008: She's bored of being in a marriage, and wants to party while she's still young. Clearly she didn't think that was possible while being married. This is hard, very hard. She's clearly turned off the channel, as you have said. Just try ... (read in full...)
Any original non-corny suggestions that I can text to show my love to my guy?
Q. I have the most adorable boyfriend any one in the world has ever had !!! I LOVE him soooooo much !!!! I've told him I love him many times but saying I love you just isn't enough !!! I text him alot and I wanna text him some stuff that lets him know...
A. 30 March 2008: Hehe.. You could text something really hardcore like..
"your mischievous smile sets my heart on fire"
"your breath next to mine, makes time still"
I'd just recommend you read a lot of love poetry, and then the loving-yet-clever words ... (read in full...)
How come I don't want sex as much any more? Is there something wrong with me?
Q. My boyfriend thinks that I am cheating on him because I don't want sex. We've had sex before and are engaged to get married sometime next year. For the past month I haven't felt the want to have sex with him. Now he thinks that I am getting it ...
A. 30 March 2008: The reason he thinks that is because cheating (emotional or sexual) is a very common reason for why people stop having sex.
On the other hand there's other common reasons, like decreased intimacy or stress.
The way to convince him is ... (read in full...)
He swears he didn't rape her, do I believe him...?
Q. a friend of mine has recently been summoned to court because a girl is pressing rape charges against him. supposedly he raped her at a party a few weeks ago, I was at the party and I don't remember seeing anything but he swears to god that he didn't ...
A. 30 March 2008: I disagree with the other aunt's opinions. The verdict is irrelevant. Though "innocent until proven guilty" is true, "friends until proven guilty" does not necessarily follow.
If you don't want to be his friend and/or move out, do it! IT's *yo... (read in full...)
We love each other, but I don't know if it's a good idea to be with someone who has these different views towards life.
Q. Hello, I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year and in October I moved in with him. At first things were good. We were both spiritual and wanted to find a church together. Since moving here, I found a church and he has decided to give up ...
A. 30 March 2008: Yikes, sounds like a different person than the one you met! It must drive you mad that he won't even discuss these changes with you.
You've moved from another place into his home. If you think about it he has you in a vulnerable spot. I... (read in full...)
I want more than this friend with benefits, should I break it up?
Q. K so, I'm with a girl atm, well, we arn't dating or anything, we're more like friends with benefits. Anyways, we talk for a couple hours a day on the phone, we get along great, and I was planning on asking her out, but as it turns out she's got ...
A. 29 March 2008: Yeah, if she's lying to you, that's annoying. Here you are trying to be clear and she's lying. Definitely annoying.... (read in full...)
I'm scared I will lose my boyfriend because of my small breasts-help!
Q. I'm 17 and I have A cup breasts, and I'm worried my boyfriend thinks my body's ugly. He has said that he doesn't need me to have bigger breasts because he enjoys my legs and butt more. I think he's lying just to make me feel better. I'm scared that ...
A. 28 March 2008: Chances are he is being honest. Some guys are ass men and others are breast men. Sounds like this guy is open to both.... (read in full...)
I want more than this friend with benefits, should I break it up?
Q. K so, I'm with a girl atm, well, we arn't dating or anything, we're more like friends with benefits. Anyways, we talk for a couple hours a day on the phone, we get along great, and I was planning on asking her out, but as it turns out she's got ...
A. 28 March 2008: Peters' advice is good. It's like taking a car from 5th gear and moving it into 1st. You might even consider having an honest conversation with her, just to be clear about where you stand. There's no reason not to be cordial with her.... (read in full...)
I'm so disgusted with myself I didnt mean to kiss this other guy
Q. Please help: Hi, I've been with my boyfriend for nearly three years now and love him so much. It's marriage for sure. He's the most geniune guy I know and would never do anything or cheat on me. Hes not the type. Neither am I, but was out with my ...
A. 28 March 2008: If you tell him, the important thing is how you tell him, how well prepared you are, where you are, etc. Be mindful of him and his feelings. Obviously he's going to be really upset, so be prepared for it, and apologize and let him know how you ... (read in full...)
Is it fair I give up ballroom dancing because my boyfriend doesn't want me dancing with other guys?
Q. My boyfriend has a problem with me dancing with another man. Do you think it's fair? Background info: I used to take ballroom dancing with my gay friend. After I dated my boyfriend, I have stopped. He doesn't like me dancing with another men beca...
A. 28 March 2008: Anon, did really put it well. One thing I noticed..
"he said he would learn if I really want to go dancing"
Clearly, you do, or you wouldn't be doing it! Whenever guy's put "really" in a sentence it just means it's a hassle and they'll only... (read in full...)
My boyfriend dragged me in the house and forced me to have sex. I don't want him to get in trouble & I'm only 16!
Q. Is it considered rape if it was your boyfriend? A few days ago I was at my bf's house and we started having an argument, mostly because I wanted to wait until I felt comfortable enough to have sex and he was getting annoyed with me. Well I walked o...
A. 27 March 2008: Yes, it's called date rape. That completely sucks. If you don't deal with this appropriately, it will likely haunt you for a long time to come.
You need to do what is best for you. You are probably in emotional trauma or shock right now, som... (read in full...)
Why keep begging me to come see you if we're not going to have sex?
Q. My Ex-girlfriend wants me to drive 3 hours and come spend the weekend with her so we can "hang out and have fun". I just got off the phone with her and she says she doesn't want to have sex and that I can have her bed. The whole not have sex thing ...
A. 27 March 2008: Yeah sounds pretty boring. Maybe she just wants to be friends with you. Why doesn't she come see you instead?
Why don't you guys turn off the tv and talk if you enjoy talking. You could be upfront with her about that too, that you want to ... (read in full...)
Will having sex before marriage kill what we have?
Q. Ok, this may sound weird, I would like to hold off from having sex with my girlfriend till marriage... ok, thats easy right, ill make it trickier, weve been having sex for 9 months. Lets make this even more interesting, were confessed Christians and ...
A. 27 March 2008: You and your gf have changing and divergent views on sex, which are being questioned and judged by others in your community.
I recommend you determine what causes you to think this situation is "weird." I don't think it's weird at all. It's imp... (read in full...)
Are these signs of immaturity that he'll grow out of?
Q. I've been dating a 6 years younger guy. He is 25, a typical American cool guy who's life is about gym and clubbing on the weekends, very social, fun to hang out with but sometimes annoyingly immature! He is a good looking guy with a nice bod...
A. 27 March 2008: Ugh. This guy sounds annoying.
There's nothing for him to grow out of per se. This guy just wants to f**ck with you, basically. Sounds like he's in dire need of some guy friends to act immature with.
Its only been six weeks, but give it some... (read in full...)
Feeling the pressure of a steady relationship. What can I do and how can I break up with him?
Q. Ok im 17 and have been with my boyfriend for 2 years, we regulary have great sex and i love him.. however im starting to feel the pressure of going steady for so long! its like when im with him everythings graet but when im not with him i have my ...
A. 27 March 2008: Breaking up isn't easy, but it's doable. It's like taking a car from 5th gear and bringing it to a stop. You don't want to just slam on the breaks, you need to take your foot off the gas, apply the break, and down shift before you can come safely ... (read in full...)
Need to tell him I'm not sure if I want to sleep with him without hurting his feelings...
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for a while now, We've been on and off since I started at this school. Its been sorta Y'know. 'I cant come. I'm really sorry but I cant I'm extremely swamped' and it was true I know we had the same classes. [Thats ...
A. 27 March 2008: It's plain.
Just say to him, "[SensitiveGuy's Name], I understand that you want to do X-sex, Y-sex, or Z-sex, but I am not ready to have any kind of sex with you. I'm old-fashioned, and sex is a really big deal for me. It may take some time bef... (read in full...)
I recently found out she had a threesome last week with her best friend and a local DJ.
Q. Hello Cupid, There's this girl I really like. We have a strong internet friendship and have never met. The last few months we've started flirting a lot more, things have become a lot more serious and we talked about being together. She te...
A. 26 March 2008: What do you think? What are you infuriated by? The fact that you haven't told her how you feel, or the fact that she's promiscuous, or both?
Whichever way it is, from what you've said, she hasn't really wronged you in any way.... (read in full...)
Can you becoming pregnant if you swallow?
Q. Can you become pregnant if you swallow cum? I was just wondering. Thank you very much....
A. 26 March 2008: This is a great question!
Though improbable, there exists a small chance which increases based on how much cum you are able to swallow and how frequently. If you swallow more than a litre, the cum will form a naturally protective globule that can... (read in full...)
He told me "dating you would probably never happen"...so what does this really mean?
Q. One time this guy said to me that dating me would probably never happen and i said well i am not going to expect it but if it does well then it does what do you think he meant by saying probably never happen was he thinking that i wouldn't want to ...
A. 26 March 2008: There could be several reasons dating you "won't happen." You pick:
1. He doesn't find you attractive
2. You are not his "type"
3. He is pretending not to be interested (e.g. lying)
4. He's actually a fortune-teller
5. Reason X
Truth... (read in full...)
Is this relationship salvageable?
Q. Okay, so it's kind of a complex situation. My boyfriend (on and off) of more than 5 years and I have decided we want to get married. I have just recently finished college and am currently looking for a decent job. He has just decided he doesn...
A. 15 March 2008: Often I think people see money as having anything to do with relationships, because money has nothing to do with the heart.
I suggest that you guys really need to connect and stop resenting each other.
Separate out all the concepts and pre... (read in full...)
What does his text mean?
Q. i got this text from this boy that i think likes me i donno what it means. "i love you can it be our little secret u dont have a bf right can u come to our beach party fri night i wanna prove it to u love u xxxxx" what does this mean does it mea...
A. 29 February 2008: That's just creepy. If someone wrote me that I would run away. NSA: No String Attached... (read in full...)
Is my mother sleeping with my boyfriend?
Q. I’m a little confused. I have been dating this wonderful guy (Greg) for 9 months now. He is 21 I’m 20. I live with my mother and my younger sister ( our father left when we were little – so it’s just us girls). My mother loves my boyfriend to bits ...
A. 29 February 2008: It sounds like your sister is jealous, and is playing games with you. Just relax and trust your feelings. Maybe there is something going on, but it might not be what you expect.... (read in full...)
Where to look for a relationship? I'm 27 and never dated.
Q. Where is a good place to look for a relationship? I'm 27, soon to be 28, and have never dated. I am interested in trying now, but I don't know where to look or even what to do if I do find someone. ...
A. 29 February 2008: Talk to the next attractive woman you see and ask her for her phone number. ... (read in full...)
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