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*ls022

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I Havent Heard From My Boyfriend In Two Days After A Fight Concerning Commitment/Marriage. Should I contact him or give him his space?

Q.   Hello everyone Bf and I have been dating for three years now. For the most part, we have a very solid relationship. We agree on most salient things and enjoy laughing with each other. We have even considered moving in with one another, somethin...

A.   8 July 2019: I’ve been in a situation very similar to yours before, so I totally understand where you’re coming from. And as much as it pains me to say it, I think you should seriously consider ending your relationship for a couple of reasons. First... (read in full...)

I've fallen in love with a woman 30 years younger than me with a boyfriend

Q.   I fell in love with a woman 30 years younger than me i behave she is my true love we have spend hours talking about everything but she treats me like a dad i think about her day and night her a boy friend\ fiance lives with her he hurts and abuse ...

A.   17 June 2019: You might believe she is your true love, OP, but she doesn’t. You said it yourself that she treats you like a dad, so she isn’t going to change her mind and start having romantic feelings for you, no matter how nice you are to her. You need to ... (read in full...)

Is it ok to lie about a vasectomy?

Q.   I just ended a 10 month relationship. I ended it because he admitted he lied to me about having a vasectomy at the beginning of our relationship. Is this a common occurrence? I have never heard of a man lying about birth control before and I am ...

A.   6 June 2019: It’s a huge deal OP and you know it is. Your reaction is completely normal so don’t let him convince you otherwise. I’m sure if the shoe were on the other foot and you’d lied about being on the pill, he’d be just as angry as you are. And rightly so, ... (read in full...)

Wife called the shots on defining the limits of our sex life...

Q.   My wife and I have been married for over 20 years, and together as a couple since we were barely teens. Starting out that young as a couple, there were infidelities on my part in high school. Then in a couple of years' span that we were apart ...

A.   1 April 2019: It is this sort of mindset that has caused the rise of the me too movement and calls for ‘enthusiastic consent’ laws. I know you might think that sounds harsh OP, but I ask you to consider the following: You have asked your wife to partake ... (read in full...)

My wife knows I don't want children and remarked that she could easily just "accidentally" get pregnant

Q.   Dear cupid, I've been married for the past 7 years (plus 6 more of dating). Lots of ups and downs of course, but I think we've been improving - or at least I am. Yesterday my wife said something (another one... yeah, maybe I suck at relationsh...

A.   1 April 2019: Honestly? I think this is actually very straightforward and you are way overcomplicating matters in your mind. Your wife is both processing her feelings out loud as she tries to determine whether she can accept the fact she will never have chi... (read in full...)

Has anyone ever lost their libido to this degree due to boredom and lack of emotional connection and was I selfish for not being a sexually dutiful partner?

Q.   Thank you to anyone who reads and responds to my post. I recently separated from a 9 year relationship, 4 years living together. I'm not sure if I have done the right thing but what I do know is that I am heart broken knowing I have broken his ...

A.   9 February 2019: I was in a very similar situation with my ex boyfriend, and in my opinion you did exactly the right thing. I lost my libido because, like you, my ex was only interested in meeting his own needs and not mine. However, I’m the type of person t... (read in full...)

I'm unhappy with the relationship want to end it but partner acts like nothing is wrong

Q.   Hi guys. Im in deseperate need of advice because im literally at my wits end. My bf is 8 yrs younger than me. We have a 3 yr old together and i have a tennager daughter from a previous relationship. We had a whirlwind romance and i ended up pregnant ...

A.   28 January 2019: ‘On the other hand a guy with a job, who cleans house and cooks, How are you going to replace that?’ It makes me really sad that society applauds men for the most basic of human skills. He SHOULD have a job and know how to feed and clean up after... (read in full...)

I love him but since his massive weight gain don't find him attractive enough for sex

Q.   Hi, okay so I really hope I don’t come across as been an absolute bitch here but I could really use some help!! So. My partner has put on a lot of weight. A good 4/5 stone! He was around 12 stone when we met. He’s 6ft3 so was really slim, I’ve alw...

A.   24 December 2018: I think the difference is the OP’s weight hasn’t changed since the relationship started but her partner’s has. So it’s safe to assume he is attracted to her as she is. It’s not hypocritical to ask someone to keep themselves in similar shape to how ... (read in full...)

My body turned him off ... he preferred to watch porn.

Q.   I split up with my boyfriend of 10 years a few months ago and he's really effected my self esteem. He said quite hurtful things about my body, I'm just looking for some opinions from guys about what kind of imperfections would really put you off. ...

A.   21 August 2018: I think we’re going to have to agree to disagree. I didn’t come here to argue. My original intention was to try to diffuse some of the tension - that’s why I said I understood that your intentions were good, but the delivery could be taken another ... (read in full...)

My body turned him off ... he preferred to watch porn.

Q.   I split up with my boyfriend of 10 years a few months ago and he's really effected my self esteem. He said quite hurtful things about my body, I'm just looking for some opinions from guys about what kind of imperfections would really put you off. ...

A.   20 August 2018: Code Warrior, I wasn’t suggesting that you have to find everyone attractive or that you can’t have an opinion on a person's looks. Of course you can. All I was asking you to do was to try to see things from the other side. To accept that it’s ... (read in full...)

My body turned him off ... he preferred to watch porn.

Q.   I split up with my boyfriend of 10 years a few months ago and he's really effected my self esteem. He said quite hurtful things about my body, I'm just looking for some opinions from guys about what kind of imperfections would really put you off. ...

A.   20 August 2018: Code Warrior, while the intent of your post was great, I think some posters are reacting to your words as the execution feels like it proves exactly what the original poster was worried about. I understand you were trying to point out that eve... (read in full...)

I’m sick to my stomach that he had a lap dance on a stag weekend!

Q.   My boyfriend recently went on a stag do to Prague and whilst he was there he went to a strip club and the whole group paid for a lap dance off of 2 dancers. Before he left for Prague, I told him that it would really upset me if he got a lap dance ...

A.   15 August 2018: I think some of the posters here have been very harsh to you OP. You discussed this with him beforehand and explained your position on it, to which he agreed, then he went off and did the exact opposite. Yet it’s apparently your fault for not ... (read in full...)

Why are some women adamantly against their husband/boyfriends looking at porn?

Q.   I'm just a bit curious. It seems that to some women the worst sin a man can commit is looking at porn and I don't get it. They are just images on a screen of women he most likely will never meet or ever have a chance with. The chances of ...

A.   29 July 2018: Because although he might not have a chance with the woman, it feels like he’s wishing he did. And that can be hurtful for some women. The thing many men don’t understand, is that men usually get aroused by looking at naked women, whereas women us... (read in full...)

My annoying girlfriend makes me want to bang my head against the wall!

Q.   My girlfriend frustrates me, I have been working hard all week, I haven’t even bothered trying to be close to her as when she sees me she remembers to take me to get replacement fan, than it’s food shopping, than it’s some other chore. This week...

A.   8 July 2018: If your girlfriend (and indeed all women) are so bad OP, why not stay single?... (read in full...)

Our sex life is non existent

Q.   Me and my gf sex life is non existent. Sometimes I look forward to it and it can be over so soon. No foreplay happens, she doesn’t let me go anywhere near her for foreplay. She used to be really wild, and now it’s gone to nothing. I’m still up for ...

A.   21 May 2018: ‘If she is rushing into the inter course it must be because it feels good whatever you are doing’ I’m not trying to be mean but I actually think the opposite might be true here. If she’s rushing to intercourse yet has no real interest in the sex,... (read in full...)

I have a phobia of wasps and it's consuming me!

Q.   This isn't a relationship question, but I have a huge dilemma and I need some advice. I have a phobia of wasps, such a severe phobia that it's not rational. If I truly had a medical condition, then it would be rational, but I'm healthy and don'...

A.   12 May 2018: I agree with femmenoir but just wanted to add one thing: Being brave isn’t the same as not being scared. Bravery is being scared but doing the thing anyway. So I’d say the way you trapped the wasp despite your fear, shows you are a very brave an... (read in full...)

Is having a child something that you can end up thinking wow this is the best thing I have ever done or do you stick with your gut feeling?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and are just in the process of buying a house. She is wanting to have children in the next 2 years. The problem is I have never really been interested in having a child. I have a good job which I ...

A.   8 May 2018: My goodness no, of course I wasn’t suggesting having children purely to keep you company in old age so sorry if my post read like that to anyone! I was more getting at the fact my auntie has always envisioned her life surrounded by a big family, but ... (read in full...)

Is having a child something that you can end up thinking wow this is the best thing I have ever done or do you stick with your gut feeling?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and are just in the process of buying a house. She is wanting to have children in the next 2 years. The problem is I have never really been interested in having a child. I have a good job which I ...

A.   7 May 2018: You’ve already had some great advice, but I just wanted to add another point of view based on a conversation I had with my auntie not that long ago. Note that this isn’t designed to change your mind one way or the other, it’s just something I’d ... (read in full...)

I love her and really don't feel like breaking up. How can I handle this situation?

Q.   I'm in a relationship with a girl for more than a year now. At first it was all going really well but then in last few months we have not stopped fighting. This is frustrating and it's taking A toll on this relationship. She has this habit of over ...

A.   6 May 2018: You say ‘she has this habit of overthinking which leads to a number of unwanted thoughts and then fights’ then ‘she feels I try to blame her always’. Which is exactly what you have done in your post - blame her entirely for the fights you have... (read in full...)

Partner of 5 years lied about a 'friendship and now I feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion

Q.   Hi agony aunts and uncles. I've been a long time reader and love seeing your advice and views. I never once dreamed I'd be writing in and asking for advice. So where to begin. It's currently 2.30 am where I am and this has just happened in the ...

A.   5 May 2018: I don’t think you are in the wrong here at all. If there was nothing to hide, he shouldn’t have hidden it, but he did. I could believe that he might not mention it if it were just a few innocent texts, but to LIE? No, that’s shifty no matter how you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said he liked my skinnier self and now I'm very hurt.

Q.   I need help. Just had a big fight with my boyfriend of 5 years. We are in a hotel room travelling to Memphis and we were enjoying a week long road trip. I've put on some weight since we met. But then so has he. He had once told me he would...

A.   24 April 2018: While I agree that you should never ask a question like this if you can’t handle a negative answer, I also think your boyfriend has been massively tactless in his response. Most people know that such questions are asked by people looking for reas... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.

Q.   Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...

A.   21 April 2018: Anonymous female, I don’t think people are disputing there are times when one person (usually the female) doesn’t orgasm during a quickie, but the way you phrased your post suggests there are times when a man just wants to get off and can’t be ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.

Q.   Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...

A.   19 April 2018: ‘Sometimes a man just wants to have sex and to put it more bluntly wants to just fu*k’ I honestly can’t decide if this makes me want to cry or scream! While the poster of this comment might be happy to let her partner use her body as a human ma... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   6 April 2018: ‘Are you upset because you believe someone thinks you are fat, or are you upset because you don't like your own body?’ Neither, I’d be annoyed because the person I love thinks it’s ok to deliberately pick out my so-called flaws and tell me they ... (read in full...)

Is online dating worth the effort?

Q.   So I have been trying to make sense of this... does online dating is worth the effort? I ask this because I put up my profile on 2 sites (one famous paid site and one famous free site) and I'm very disappointed with the results. I have a decent p...

A.   4 April 2018: I’m currently active on a few dating sites, so I feel I’m qualified to answer your question OP. In short, I do think it is worthwhile but it can be soul destroying. For men and women alike, albeit in different ways. So I’ll try to explain why I ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   3 April 2018: To the blokes on here saying we should learn to laugh at our imperfections rather than expecting our partners to keep silent about them, imagine if your partner made a ‘joke’ about your unsatisfactory penis size and justified it by saying ‘well ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   3 April 2018: As someone who was in a relationship with a man that sapped all of my confidence during the 6 years I was with him, I’d recommend you leave now. I put up with the ‘jokes’ and insults for way too long, and he always found a way to make me believe I ... (read in full...)

How can I build the sexual tension I need without being labelled a tease?

Q.   I’m currently dating but I’m having a problem with the sexual side of things. Basically, it takes me quite a bit of time to feel ready to have sex with someone. I’m talking about a good few dates to give the sexual tension time to build up and for...

A.   25 March 2018: Thanks everyone for your replies. CMMP you say: “I think you just don't go home with him or bring him home until you're ready for sex” This is exactly my problem in a nutshell. It’s not that I need to get to know the guy more, it’s like I need... (read in full...)

Advice needed - break up or work through it?

Q.   Hi, I've in my late 20's and I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. I love her and she is an amazing woman but our relationship has recently taken a lot of hits and it's affecting both of our happiness. To the point, we are both seri...

A.   3 February 2018: Regardless of the faith issue, which I completely agree with Honeypie on, I think if my partner had a ‘cons’ list like that about me I’d prefer he ended the relationship. Ignorant and uneducated are not terms you should use about the person you plan ... (read in full...)

My job interviewed didn't offer me a job but asked me out on a date. Is this appropriate?

Q.   I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a ...

A.   25 January 2018: I’d definitely consider reporting this to the company. Who’s to say he deliberately didn’t offer you the job so that he could ask you out on a date without breaching company rules? Either way, his behaviour was 100% inappropriate and I’d want to try ... (read in full...)

My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking

Q.   We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...

A.   5 January 2018: I think the reason many of the women posters, including myself, react negatively to posts like this is because it can get a little tiring having to constantly adjust our behaviour in a way men don’t. I do understand where you are coming from OP,... (read in full...)

No Christmas gift from him!

Q.   I have a December birthday and my boyfriend of 9months got me a gift for my birthday but today on Chritsmas no gift. He got one from me. After his family left I asked if he had a gift for me, he said no he ran out of money and hopes to take me...

A.   27 December 2017: I’m starting to become quite disillusioned by the sort of behaviour people think it’s reasonable to accept in a relationship these days. Honestly OP, you are the one that went to the trouble of getting him a gift. Then, despite having discusse... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to be near me when I am sick.

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for past 2 years and it's going on good and we meet on weekends and stay together on weekend. One thing that concerns me, not sure if I should be, he doesn't want to meet and around me whenever I'm sick, he says he doesn...

A.   23 December 2017: Cindy maybe I have been ‘spoiled’ by that to a certain extent, although I do think people are overestimating the leniency of the UK sick policy. In my particular job, I can be off for 5 days before I must provide a medical certificate from my ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to be near me when I am sick.

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for past 2 years and it's going on good and we meet on weekends and stay together on weekend. One thing that concerns me, not sure if I should be, he doesn't want to meet and around me whenever I'm sick, he says he doesn...

A.   22 December 2017: You know I remember posting a very similar question about my ex boyfriend some years back. He was the exact same way - the slightest hint of a sniffle and I was abandoned until it cleared up. In fact one time I remember sneezing a couple of times in ... (read in full...)

I no longer feel attracted to her due to her weight!

Q.   I know this is a delicate topic but I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now - she used to be a UK Size 16-18 which I had no issue with whatsoever but she has been gradually gaining weight and now is around a 24/26 and I must admit I no longer ...

A.   21 December 2017: I can understand where you are coming from and I really do sympathise as you sound like a lovely caring guy, but I actually think repeatedly trying to talk to her about this might be making the problem worse. Weight gain and loss is a complex ... (read in full...)

Should I own up to my size?

Q.   I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...

A.   17 December 2017: It makes me really sad that you feel you need to make any sort of apology or announcement about your own body OP. Why on earth would she feel deceived? You are who you are and anyone worth having in your life should accept you as such. I know you... (read in full...)

I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend

Q.   I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend... I've been seen this guy for 3 months now and things are moving forward. However, every time we start getting intimate, I freak out and stop all interactions. I'm a virgin and this is the first pro...

A.   12 November 2017: I think this is the time for complete honesty OP. At the moment, neither of you actually know what the other is thinking, which is leaving you open to misunderstandings on both sides. For example, you assume he is becoming frustrated, when he might ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...

A.   5 November 2017: To be honest I wouldn’t stay in a relationship like this. That might seem drastic to some, but I believe this says a lot more about his character than you realise. Asking the person that is supposed to love you the most in the world to wish you... (read in full...)

How do I explain to my fiance that I want to go out dressed up as a female without hurting her feelings?

Q.   I'm engaged to a wonderful girl. I've always considered myself a female in my heart. I have been crossdressing secretly in the past but I can't anymore. I really want to go out and be feminine once in a while. I explained my fiancee my situation. I ...

A.   27 October 2017: All you can do is ask her, but you’ll need to do so knowing that you must respect her wishes if she says no. I know some people might argue that you have the right to express yourself in any way you see fit, which is right to an extent, but not ... (read in full...)

I think it's degrading to give oral if it's not reciprocated and he thinks I owe it to him because I gave it to other lovers!

Q.   An Oral Sex Dilemma My boyfriend and I have been discussing about oral sex for a few weeks now. We have very different opinions and want the opinion of outside individuals. I think that it is degrading to give oral when if it is not reciproca...

A.   4 October 2017: I'm guessing by degrading you mean that you feel he views sex as all about him. As something the woman gives and the man takes rather than something you both share to pleasure each other? If so I do get that. Honestly, it sounds like he has some... (read in full...)

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