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*ls022

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I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...

A.   12 February 2017: 'I went through life thinking I had to take responsibility for everything I ever did! I refrained from doing things that were stupid risks or might come back to haunt me' That's great for you male anon, but expecting everyone in the world to have ... (read in full...)

I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...

A.   9 February 2017: I understand this must be upsetting OP, but I'm not sure you need to get too worried quite yet. I find it really hard to believe any woman who had a threesome in front of a large crowd at a party full of people she's still friends with would manage ... (read in full...)

Is this male theory correct? Do woman wear matching black bra and panties when having sex is intended?

Q.   Is there any truth to the theory that women wear black when they are planning to have sex with someone and also if you're going to have sex you wear matching bra and panties?...

A.   8 February 2017: Nope definitely not true in my opinion. 90% of my underwear is black and I always make sure it matches, yet I've not had sex in about 18 months. To me it's similar to wearing odd socks. Even if no-one would see them underneath my boots, it's still ... (read in full...)

Why do men say they need porn?

Q.   Why do people so often say men need porn when it's clearly a want not a need. No man has ever died of lack of porn and although men may prefer porn to masturbate with porn , men for thousands of years masturbated without the hardcore porn available ...

A.   1 February 2017: Any man who says he NEEDS porn for any reason, is simply trying to make excuses for the fact he uses it. In short, he's an addict. Personally I'm not overly bothered about porn use, but I do get annoyed at the number of stories I hear of men lyin... (read in full...)

Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?

Q.   Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...

A.   30 January 2017: If it were me, I'd postpone my studies and go for the dream. It might not lead to a career, yet equally it might. The only way to know is to try and see what happens. You're in a position that so many would love, so if it's something you want I t... (read in full...)

I hid a recorder and heard breathing, is he cheating or watching porn?

Q.   Hello Everyone, I have a unique issue. I don't trust my husband. For varies reasons. Alot of people thought I should hire a Detective. I really don't have the money for that. A friend of mine suggested I get a voice recorder and set it in the m...

A.   27 January 2017: "I just keep hoping he will grow up and see what he's doing to me and change" With all respect OP, why would he? There are literally no consequences to his actions because you put up with it. Sure you might complain or shout at him, but from his... (read in full...)

Moving in together and disagree on houseguests. Help!

Q.   My boyfriend and I are both 26 and moving in together for the first time. We’re doing it for the right reasons and discussed everything we could think of before making the decision together. Currently we spend most of our time together at his place, ...

A.   20 January 2017: I'll be brutally honest, I'd have a real problem living with someone that refused to accommodate any houseguests EVER. When I first saw the title of your question, I assumed he was prone to inviting people back to stay on the couch after nights out ... (read in full...)

Present employer could jeopardise new employment

Q.   Not a dating/relationship question, but would really appreciate any input from anyone who has any ideas/thoughts on this problem, as it could turn out to be a big problem for me. I have worked for a number of years for a small, family-owned com...

A.   8 January 2017: Many companies now refuse to issue a reference containing anything more than the basic facts as they are afraid it could be used against them in the future if the other company or employer disagree with their opinion. So I don't think future ... (read in full...)

Do his comments about other women signify insecurity or a potential cheat?

Q.   Hey, My boyfriend is very loving, sweet, complimentary etc but he does this thing that is really starting to grate on me... Basically when we watch films/ tv when a fit women comes on he's VERY vocal about it I.e. "id put it in her" "she's so s...

A.   4 January 2017: My ex told me he'd 'ruin' a girl once too. I told him if he did I'd ruin him right back, then jokingly used my fingers to mimic scissors and pointed them at his nethers! He never said anything like that again! :D... (read in full...)

Is my jealousy justified?

Q.   Hello aunts. I am writing this because I really need help with a recent situation that I am just not handling well. Thanks in advance. First, some background. I'm 30 and I met my current wife two years ago in a business dinner. We flirted a bit an...

A.   4 January 2017: Male anon what does meeting halfway look like though? A person can't change their past so the only options the sufferer has are to either find a way to accept it, or find someone else. Most people presume the OP wants to stay in this marriage so ... (read in full...)

Is my jealousy justified?

Q.   Hello aunts. I am writing this because I really need help with a recent situation that I am just not handling well. Thanks in advance. First, some background. I'm 30 and I met my current wife two years ago in a business dinner. We flirted a bit an...

A.   4 January 2017: So basically you begged, pleaded and badgered her until she dated you and now you're annoyed that not all guys had to do that to get her? I'll be brutally honest with you OP, I don't think there was much of an initial attraction there with you... (read in full...)

Does a bruise on my boyfriend's stomach mean he is cheating?

Q.   My boyfriend came home with a noticeable bruise to the right of his belly button last night and this concerns me. We have had rough sex many times but not recently. I asked him where he got it and he said he has no idea and just noticed it himself ...

A.   30 December 2016: I have a HUGE bruise on my hip right now and I have no idea how it got there. It doesnt hurt, plus I'm single and have had no sex, so the bruise on its own doesn't prove anything. The real question is why don't you trust him? Has he cheated before? ... (read in full...)

I love her but don't know to what extent I love her

Q.   I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...

A.   19 December 2016: As someone who wasted 6 years on a man who was 'never quite sure' whether he wanted a future with me, I'd urge you to end things with this woman. Three years is more than enough time to decide if someone is the one, and if you're still not sure it ... (read in full...)

Making love vs having sex

Q.   how do you know when your making love and not having sex,...

A.   21 November 2016: To me, sex is mostly about the feeling and the pleasure of the act, whereas making love is as much about connecting with the other person as it is about the physical sensation, if not more so. Sadly, many people these days don't seem to want to ... (read in full...)

The guy who meant nothing to her in her past got to live out his fantasy while I, despite being her boyfriend, don't get the same privilege. Isn't it unfair?

Q.   I guess the question I have is what do I do? About 3 years ago before my girlfriend met me she had sex with a girl while a guy she occasionally hooked up with watched. They were all out at the pub and the girl was interested in her and the guys ...

A.   21 November 2016: Oh and to the male anon who suggests this is the same situation as a man who decides he doesn't want to buy expensive gifts for his current girlfriend when he did for previous ones - are you serious? Do you really believe giving your body to someone ... (read in full...)

The guy who meant nothing to her in her past got to live out his fantasy while I, despite being her boyfriend, don't get the same privilege. Isn't it unfair?

Q.   I guess the question I have is what do I do? About 3 years ago before my girlfriend met me she had sex with a girl while a guy she occasionally hooked up with watched. They were all out at the pub and the girl was interested in her and the guys ...

A.   21 November 2016: The only suggestion I have is for you try to adjust the way you view relationships. At the moment, it sounds like you think because you have provided her with emotional support and tried to be a good boyfriend, you are somehow 'owed' more sexually ... (read in full...)

Why do men sexualize women this way?

Q.   Why are men so disgusting? I'm not trolling. From what I have seen of men, they are foul. They admit to looking at every woman as a sexual partner, imagining her naked... They think disgusting things. They use disgusting words when referrin...

A.   20 November 2016: Are you online dating by any chance? I've found this sort of talk to be SO common online and it gets me down too so I know where you are coming from. It's clear there are a lot of men out there who see women as a sum of their body parts and they are ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's excuse made me feel belittled

Q.   The other night my boyfriend and I had plans for dinner. We talked about it in the morning and he seemed super excited about it. Well later on in the morning his friends asked if he could do a boys night in which he responded with “I don’t feel like ...

A.   18 November 2016: While I know this is very common and I don't think he meant to offend you, I would definitely mention it. Simply say that you're worried that by using you as a scapegoat any time he doesn't want to say no to his friends, he is likely to make them ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me but claims she was taken advantage of, what do I do?

Q.   My girlfriend and i have been dating for about two months now, and it's been a semi long distance relationship with her going to a different college than me about 30 minutes away. We argue here and there about little things but at the end of the ...

A.   16 November 2016: As a rape survivor, some of the opinions on this question really concern me. Firstly, your own misconception that a woman wouldn't want to be sexual right away is incorrect. I've been to enough rape support groups to know that there's no one size ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me but claims she was taken advantage of, what do I do?

Q.   My girlfriend and i have been dating for about two months now, and it's been a semi long distance relationship with her going to a different college than me about 30 minutes away. We argue here and there about little things but at the end of the ...

A.   16 November 2016: As a rape survivor, some of the opinions on this question really concern me. Firstly, your own misconception that a woman wouldn't want to be sexual right away is incorrect. I've been to enough rape support groups to know that there's no one size ... (read in full...)

How to avoid being tempted?

Q.   Hello, Here is an interesting one for you. I am married (with kids). My wife is very beautiful (former Miss), we have great sex - I can get it on demand, whatever I want, I think I love her, surely I wouldn't want to hurt her. Yet, I can't sto...

A.   14 November 2016: That's exactly it OP - there will always be temptations for both men AND women. It's what a person does about those temptations that determines their character. ... (read in full...)

High heels during sex...yay or nay?

Q.   This question is for you women out there. I really want to know if high heels are a sexual turn on for you girls or not? I love them and I want my wife to wear them every time during sex. But she doesn't!! It's the single most sexual turn on for me. ...

A.   1 November 2016: Nay, nay, nay! I mean I'd be willing to do it now and again for my partner if he asked but it wouldn't do anything for me and I certainly wouldn't be happy if he expected/needed it every time to enjoy sex. It's supposed to be HER you desire, not the ... (read in full...)

Why are more men dependent on women's support these days? Women is the child bearer, care giver, career holder, and now the financial supporter to men? What roles do men play then?

Q.   First and foremost, no offence to the men in this room. I'm posting this question because I am really curious to know the answer. Why are more men dependent on women's support now a days than men taking care of their women? I've often read posts...

A.   21 October 2016: As a single woman I do see what you mean to a certain extent. I've been shocked at the number of men in their 30s who still live at home, work a maximum of 10 hours a week (if that) and have no intentions of changing that. These men are clearly ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants me to unfriend a male acquaintance on Facebook. Should I have called him out for being controlling?

Q.   I'm either really stubborn or he's controlling. I can't tell. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and in that time I've never gone on a night out without him. I ended up going on one a few hours away with my friends who liv3 down there and I en...

A.   20 October 2016: If I'm reading this right, it's a friend of your ex rather than your ex himself right? I could just about understand your boyfriend's point of view if he was upset over an ex as many people don't think contact with an ex is appropriate, but a fr... (read in full...)

Why would my wife threaten to leave me over my porn use?

Q.   My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn. What is wrong with her? I have no idea why she thinks watching porn is bad. This is something I like to do and do it privately. I never told her I was into porn and many of you can guess wh...

A.   20 October 2016: "That question could be turned around and posed to the OP's wife just as easily: What's more important, her marriage, or her desire to control what her husband sees and hears?" She's already made her position clear, it's a dealbreaker to her and ... (read in full...)

Why would my wife threaten to leave me over my porn use?

Q.   My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn. What is wrong with her? I have no idea why she thinks watching porn is bad. This is something I like to do and do it privately. I never told her I was into porn and many of you can guess wh...

A.   19 October 2016: Your post doesn't make sense OP. You say on one hand you don't think you're doing anything wrong, but on the other you state you've been hiding your porn use from her. So that suggests you knew fine well she wasn't a fan of porn, or at least ... (read in full...)

How long can a relationship survive without sex?

Q.   My Fiance and I have ended up at each others throats recently and it's getting too much for us both. We're both in our Mid twenties, and have been together now for almost 6 years, but to simply put it, she no longer wants sex. She doesn't get arou...

A.   17 October 2016: If she's on the pill, I'd definitely suggest she considers coming off it or changing brand. I completely lost my sex drive for 4 years and I didn't realise until last year that the pill was the cause. I stopped taking it and I'm now back to desiring ... (read in full...)

Afraid family will learn I'm on the pill

Q.   Sorta to do with dating. I've been talking to this guy and things are looking up :) I've always told myself that I should go on the pill as another contraceptive (as well as using condoms). However, I don't really want my parent finding ou...

A.   17 October 2016: I had to go on the pill at 17 due to heavy and painful periods so there are other reasons you can go on the pill. My sister used this to her advantage when she was 18 as she told my parents she was going on it for the same reason when it was really ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to use a prostitute to gain experience?

Q.   I am a male virgin who has never kissed a girl or been on a date. I've made up my mind recently on how I will be losing my virginity. I am currently saving up money to visit one of the legal brothels in Nevada. I feel like at my age, being a kis...

A.   13 October 2016: Male anon - but the situation will always be at least slightly different because men and women ARE different and as such they view things differently. For example you can argue that it's unfair because women have an easier time finding uncommit... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to use a prostitute to gain experience?

Q.   I am a male virgin who has never kissed a girl or been on a date. I've made up my mind recently on how I will be losing my virginity. I am currently saving up money to visit one of the legal brothels in Nevada. I feel like at my age, being a kis...

A.   12 October 2016: OP it really is up to you. If you have no moral issues with it and wish to feel what sex is like then there's nothing stopping you. However, you must realise that it won't solve any of your problems. In fact based on previous posts here, it has made ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend thinks we should find other people because I last way too long in bed and she takes a minute to orgasm and then gets bored

Q.   My girlfriend says she thinks we should find other people because I last way too long in bed and she takes a minute to "O" and then gets bored and wants me to just get it over with. We do foreplay and I am trying to teach her how to satisfy my wi...

A.   12 October 2016: I've been on both sides of this. I had a boyfriend who complained that it took too much work to get me to orgasm (it doesn't actually but he thought penetration should be enough - we were young!) and another who thought he was amazing because he ... (read in full...)

How do you tell your partner you might have a STD ??

Q.   I am recently divorced from a serial cheater. I'm ashamed to admit that a couple months ago I met my ex and in the heat of the moment, we slept together. I didn't really think anything of it beyond a stupid mistake, but after speaking with my ...

A.   6 October 2016: I think your new man will understand if you simply explain that you are worried about STIs due to your cheating ex husband, and while you have no symptoms to suggest you have anything, you know it's sensible to check since that doesn't always mean ... (read in full...)

I lost the ring my wife purchased for me. She'll be very cross. What should I do?

Q.   My wife left for Paris last week, and instead of going to work, coming home to a lovely empty apartment and playing video games like I been doing, my brother convinced me to hang out with him for the night. When I got there all the boys were the...

A.   1 October 2016: I think you've missed some key elements out if this story. Either your wife is pretty heartless to not ask if you are ok, or you end up in fights regularly and she's lost her sympathy for you. I also think it's odd that you could lose a ring whe... (read in full...)

I told my chick friend who has kids that I won’t date women who have kids and she seems to have taken offense?

Q.   A couple of months ago I moved to a bigger city along with my chick friend who has kids. We don't live together but since we don't know anybody in this town we occasionally hang out. We are both really close since we went through a big ordeal in our ...

A.   26 September 2016: I think you just hit a nerve OP. While you are right that people can set whatever criteria they wish when dating, this does mean that some people are rejected time and time again if they possess a trait which is more commonly seen as 'less ... (read in full...)

Was it just an excuse? Or am I being selfish thinking 15 minutes away was not far?

Q.   I have been dating a new guy recently and I have no car, so he usually has to pick me up and take me home. He ended things because I was too far away, despite only being 15 minutes away. Am I selfish for thinking I'm not that far?...

A.   6 September 2016: I agree that he doesn't sound like he was that interested, however you might also want to consider that a 15 minute trip for you is a 30 minute round trip for him. If he has to pick you up and drop you off that's a whole hour of driving added on to ... (read in full...)

Should I be considering breaking up with my Gf since I suffered erectile issues with her recently?

Q.   So I recently posted about trying not to get too excited when I'm with my new girlfriend. Well, tonight it went the complete opposite direction. We were at her place (she lives with her mom, stepdad, and three siblings) and things were goin...

A.   12 August 2016: It really annoys me that society makes it acceptable and even expected for women to have days where they struggle with arousal but men are made to feel there is something wrong with them. You have nothing to be humiliated about OP. You're having ... (read in full...)

He's telling them our relationship has ended before he even told me. How do I let go and move on from him?

Q.   My partner and I have been together 6 and a half years, since I was 16. We both live with my parents and over the course of our relationship we have done for 3-4 years. Roughly 2 years ago, my partner dumped me, for me it was completely out o...

A.   10 August 2016: I think you'll feel so much better in the long run if you take some control over this situation, so I'd suggest you go home before he gets back, pack his things up into bags and the minute he gets back tell him he's got to go. It's one thing falling ... (read in full...)

Dare I tell this younger woman how I feel?

Q.   hi, my name is Roger. I am a 70 yr old man and I have become very friendly with a Romanian woman for over a year now, who is 31, and also married I can honestly say I have never got on so well with a woman in all my life we do many things together...

A.   8 August 2016: I'm a 31 year old woman and while I can't speak for all women of course, I can tell you how I'd feel if a man your age confessed his love to me - a little horrified. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh but it's how I'd feel. I'd regard any friendship ... (read in full...)

My married BF says I worry too much that he is going to be unfaithful to me. Is it all my fault?

Q.   Hi. I've been dating a married man for 3 years now. We have incredible sex together and lots of fun. We get along very well and are sexually perfect for each other. I care a lot for him. He cares for me. However, my insecurity issues ...

A.   27 July 2016: The problem you have OP, is that this man's words mean absolutely nothing. I'm sure he also tells his wife that he's faithful, that he'd never cheat, that any insecurities or suspicions she has are all in her mind, when in actuality he's having an ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend doesn't like traditional sex. Is that a red flag?

Q.   Maybe this is a problem a lot of guys would wish to have, but my girlfriend of one year doesn't like traditional sex. She loves to give me oral and when we do have sex she always steers it towards anal sex. I say this jokingly, but feel like I a...

A.   24 July 2016: Couldn't it be that she prefers types of sex which have a lower risk of pregnancy? If she's your age it may be slightly more difficult to conceive but not impossible.... (read in full...)

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