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*ls022

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Do I ask him about marriage? children? He says he doesn't ever want to marry again

Q.   Is it wrong to ask my boyfriend to think about having children and getting married? We both have a daughter each, and he has been divorced for the last 3 years officially. He is 10 years older then me, and we met while he was in the process of g...

A.   23 June 2017: I think you just need to tell him what you told us - you've been thinking about it recently, you've realised that marriage is something you'd like and you were wondering where his head is at on the matter. Of course there is a chance he'll say that ... (read in full...)

I did not choose the dress my boyfriend loved. Did I make a mistake?

Q.   Hi. I took my boyfriend shopping. He is one of the rare guys who enjoys shopping with his girlfriend. He likes to help me find clothes and watches me as I try them on and always gives me his honest opinion. Yesterday we were out shopping...

A.   5 June 2017: It's your sister's wedding and your body! You chose correctly in my view. Your boyfriend is entitled to an opinion but not to make the decision for you. Personally I'd completely ignore his petty little huff and continue to get excited for your ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend doesn't want to move abroad

Q.   We've been dating for only a few months, our first month I told her I have a dream to move to another country and she said "Yeah if you go we'd break up because I wouldn't leave my family behind!" We decided to stay together but recently a few d...

A.   3 June 2017: My ex boyfriend of 6 years was always talking about how he wanted to move abroad. He never did anything about it so I assumed it was a bit like how I say I'd like to learn the piano - I absolutely would but it's not a priority or something I ... (read in full...)

Why does my wife lie about her sexual past? I overheard a convo she had with a friend. Should I tell her?

Q.   I have been married for many years my wife had a couple of sex partners before we met. She always said that when she was with the them that they didn't have a lot of sex which would not have bothered me if she did. My problem came up as we talked ...

A.   1 May 2017: The problem with asking questions like this is that the only answer a man ever wants to hear is that he is GENUINELY the biggest and best his partner has ever had and, well not to be too harsh, that might not always be the case. That means the wife ... (read in full...)

We used to text a lot up until yesterday. Should I be worried?

Q.   I've been dating a girl for about a month or so no. We really get on and when we are together time flys, we text quite a lot too.. More or less every morning she sends a good morning message, if she falls asleep before receiving my good night t...

A.   27 April 2017: As someone who is currently working 40 hours a week and studying for a masters, I know all about being busy so I feel I'm more than qualified to answer this question. While I'm usually very good at replying to people, recently there have been a f... (read in full...)

Why do girls do things that make them unapproachable and rude?

Q.   Why do girls always have to be glued to each other or have their noses in their phones or in a book? Don't they realize that makes them unapproachable and that it's just plain rude? Also, they do the same things on dates too and act rudely just to ...

A.   20 April 2017: Maybe they don't want to be approached OP? Just because you want to talk to them doesn't mean they are obligated to respond. And yeah, most people don't accuse someone of stalking unless they are seriously crossing some lines. What sort of things do ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong to end things with a good person when they are not your type?

Q.   Is it wrong to end things with someone cause they are not your type? they treat you wonderful,they come on really strong,you wish your ex would of treated you this way. the one who treated you bad you fell for,now I have someone who would do ...

A.   20 April 2017: I think this is exactly what your ex will have felt. Sometimes a person can do everything right and be perfectly lovely, but there's just nothing there. No click or no spark. It doesn't mean you are being punished for being too nice, it means you ... (read in full...)

Girlfriend doesn't make any real effort to lose weight despite wanting to

Q.   I've been in relationship with my girlfriend for about 7 months now. I liked her for her personality and character but her weight had always bothered me right from the start. She was actually slim just under 2 year back(she looked amazing) but gai...

A.   31 March 2017: Definitely end it. You started seeing her at this weight and had it in your mind that you could get her to go back to the weight she was before. That's not kind or fair. Next time, never start a relationship with the intention of trying to change ... (read in full...)

Was I being used, by her ?

Q.   I was dating a girl for 5 weeks – I felt there was something special there and every time we met there was always at least one point where we both laughed so hard we were crying. We even had cute pet names for each other (I called her peach). ...

A.   29 March 2017: Definitely keep up the no contact and accept that she just wasn't that into you. I'd also suggest you reframe your thinking. Many people believe they have been 'strung along' or 'taken for a ride' when the other person simply wasn't feeling it. ... (read in full...)

Should I tell her that on our break I paid for sex?

Q.   Hi, my and my gf of 5 years have sort of had a bit of distance come between us, on my end mainly. She was always so insecure and sort of clingy and although I loved her it chipped away at me and I felt I needed space. We took space and things were ...

A.   29 March 2017: If you were not permitted to see other people, then the fact is you cheated on your girlfriend with a prostitute. So yes I do think you should tell her. Wouldn't you want to know if she'd cheated on you during this period of 'space'? Or would you be ... (read in full...)

Her past bothers me, though I do like our sex life!

Q.   Hey guys, I've been dating a girl for a few months and it's going really great, but her past has come up more than a few times (mainly by me) her lifestyle bothers me a bit she's 22 and loves to club. Has had 12 sexual partners her last dude wa...

A.   24 March 2017: One thing I can never understand about questions like this is actually covered in what you wrote. Some men put such a high value on virginity and women behaving in a way they deem 'respectable', but they also value wild and exciting sex lives! O... (read in full...)

How can I stop coming on so strong?

Q.   Hey everyone. So I've been posting here for quite a while about all of my struggles with attracting women. I think I may finally realize what's been going on. I come on too strong and over analyze things on pretty much every attempt. It's just who I ...

A.   14 March 2017: I'll be brutally honest with you, I find this a very difficult question to answer because I would warn any woman to give a man like you a very wide berth indeed. You are a grown ass man, you shouldn't need to be taught patience with women (or anyone ... (read in full...)

Why douche and hide it from me?

Q.   My girl had to douch before we had sex for the first time after I got home from prison...and she tried to hide it from me that she did it. Does this mean she slept around recently before I got home...why else would she douch and hide it from me?...

A.   2 March 2017: For the exact same reason you might have chosen to shower and clean your penis before you had sex with her - for freshness! ... (read in full...)

How can this be resolved? I want a Baby. He couldn't think of anything worse.

Q.   My husband told me the other day he never wants to have children. I’m devastated. Don’t get me wrong I love him completely and can appreciate that it’s just how he feels but I feel angry and bitter and am having serious thoughts about leaving him if ...

A.   22 February 2017: I think you need to start thinking long term to make this decision. Can you envision yourself as an elderly woman with no children or grandchildren? Will you resent him if he's your only family in old age? I ask these questions as I have an aunt ... (read in full...)

I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...

A.   12 February 2017: 'I went through life thinking I had to take responsibility for everything I ever did! I refrained from doing things that were stupid risks or might come back to haunt me' That's great for you male anon, but expecting everyone in the world to have ... (read in full...)

I need help to deal with new found info about wife's past. What should I do?

Q.   My wife and I have been married for five years and have two kids. I have never asked anything about her past all I knew is she wasn't a virgin when we met. This past summer we were at a pool party and one of my best friend's from school was ther...

A.   9 February 2017: I understand this must be upsetting OP, but I'm not sure you need to get too worried quite yet. I find it really hard to believe any woman who had a threesome in front of a large crowd at a party full of people she's still friends with would manage ... (read in full...)

Is this male theory correct? Do woman wear matching black bra and panties when having sex is intended?

Q.   Is there any truth to the theory that women wear black when they are planning to have sex with someone and also if you're going to have sex you wear matching bra and panties?...

A.   8 February 2017: Nope definitely not true in my opinion. 90% of my underwear is black and I always make sure it matches, yet I've not had sex in about 18 months. To me it's similar to wearing odd socks. Even if no-one would see them underneath my boots, it's still ... (read in full...)

Why do men say they need porn?

Q.   Why do people so often say men need porn when it's clearly a want not a need. No man has ever died of lack of porn and although men may prefer porn to masturbate with porn , men for thousands of years masturbated without the hardcore porn available ...

A.   1 February 2017: Any man who says he NEEDS porn for any reason, is simply trying to make excuses for the fact he uses it. In short, he's an addict. Personally I'm not overly bothered about porn use, but I do get annoyed at the number of stories I hear of men lyin... (read in full...)

Should I dump uni' for a small screen role?

Q.   Hi everybody, I have a difficult decision to make. I am a student at uni studying accountancy. About half a year ago I suffered a nervous breakdown and was allowed to take break from my studies. I was experiencing a deep depression and took this ...

A.   30 January 2017: If it were me, I'd postpone my studies and go for the dream. It might not lead to a career, yet equally it might. The only way to know is to try and see what happens. You're in a position that so many would love, so if it's something you want I t... (read in full...)

I hid a recorder and heard breathing, is he cheating or watching porn?

Q.   Hello Everyone, I have a unique issue. I don't trust my husband. For varies reasons. Alot of people thought I should hire a Detective. I really don't have the money for that. A friend of mine suggested I get a voice recorder and set it in the m...

A.   27 January 2017: "I just keep hoping he will grow up and see what he's doing to me and change" With all respect OP, why would he? There are literally no consequences to his actions because you put up with it. Sure you might complain or shout at him, but from his... (read in full...)

Moving in together and disagree on houseguests. Help!

Q.   My boyfriend and I are both 26 and moving in together for the first time. We’re doing it for the right reasons and discussed everything we could think of before making the decision together. Currently we spend most of our time together at his place, ...

A.   20 January 2017: I'll be brutally honest, I'd have a real problem living with someone that refused to accommodate any houseguests EVER. When I first saw the title of your question, I assumed he was prone to inviting people back to stay on the couch after nights out ... (read in full...)

Present employer could jeopardise new employment

Q.   Not a dating/relationship question, but would really appreciate any input from anyone who has any ideas/thoughts on this problem, as it could turn out to be a big problem for me. I have worked for a number of years for a small, family-owned com...

A.   8 January 2017: Many companies now refuse to issue a reference containing anything more than the basic facts as they are afraid it could be used against them in the future if the other company or employer disagree with their opinion. So I don't think future ... (read in full...)

Do his comments about other women signify insecurity or a potential cheat?

Q.   Hey, My boyfriend is very loving, sweet, complimentary etc but he does this thing that is really starting to grate on me... Basically when we watch films/ tv when a fit women comes on he's VERY vocal about it I.e. "id put it in her" "she's so s...

A.   4 January 2017: My ex told me he'd 'ruin' a girl once too. I told him if he did I'd ruin him right back, then jokingly used my fingers to mimic scissors and pointed them at his nethers! He never said anything like that again! :D... (read in full...)

Is my jealousy justified?

Q.   Hello aunts. I am writing this because I really need help with a recent situation that I am just not handling well. Thanks in advance. First, some background. I'm 30 and I met my current wife two years ago in a business dinner. We flirted a bit an...

A.   4 January 2017: Male anon what does meeting halfway look like though? A person can't change their past so the only options the sufferer has are to either find a way to accept it, or find someone else. Most people presume the OP wants to stay in this marriage so ... (read in full...)

Is my jealousy justified?

Q.   Hello aunts. I am writing this because I really need help with a recent situation that I am just not handling well. Thanks in advance. First, some background. I'm 30 and I met my current wife two years ago in a business dinner. We flirted a bit an...

A.   4 January 2017: So basically you begged, pleaded and badgered her until she dated you and now you're annoyed that not all guys had to do that to get her? I'll be brutally honest with you OP, I don't think there was much of an initial attraction there with you... (read in full...)

Does a bruise on my boyfriend's stomach mean he is cheating?

Q.   My boyfriend came home with a noticeable bruise to the right of his belly button last night and this concerns me. We have had rough sex many times but not recently. I asked him where he got it and he said he has no idea and just noticed it himself ...

A.   30 December 2016: I have a HUGE bruise on my hip right now and I have no idea how it got there. It doesnt hurt, plus I'm single and have had no sex, so the bruise on its own doesn't prove anything. The real question is why don't you trust him? Has he cheated before? ... (read in full...)

I love her but don't know to what extent I love her

Q.   I am facing a dilemma. Whether to marry, or to leave my girlfriend. I am inexperienced, and I need your opinion on what our relationship looks like to you, and what you think I should do. I also would like to hear what you think is important in a ...

A.   19 December 2016: As someone who wasted 6 years on a man who was 'never quite sure' whether he wanted a future with me, I'd urge you to end things with this woman. Three years is more than enough time to decide if someone is the one, and if you're still not sure it ... (read in full...)

Making love vs having sex

Q.   how do you know when your making love and not having sex,...

A.   21 November 2016: To me, sex is mostly about the feeling and the pleasure of the act, whereas making love is as much about connecting with the other person as it is about the physical sensation, if not more so. Sadly, many people these days don't seem to want to ... (read in full...)

The guy who meant nothing to her in her past got to live out his fantasy while I, despite being her boyfriend, don't get the same privilege. Isn't it unfair?

Q.   I guess the question I have is what do I do? About 3 years ago before my girlfriend met me she had sex with a girl while a guy she occasionally hooked up with watched. They were all out at the pub and the girl was interested in her and the guys ...

A.   21 November 2016: Oh and to the male anon who suggests this is the same situation as a man who decides he doesn't want to buy expensive gifts for his current girlfriend when he did for previous ones - are you serious? Do you really believe giving your body to someone ... (read in full...)

The guy who meant nothing to her in her past got to live out his fantasy while I, despite being her boyfriend, don't get the same privilege. Isn't it unfair?

Q.   I guess the question I have is what do I do? About 3 years ago before my girlfriend met me she had sex with a girl while a guy she occasionally hooked up with watched. They were all out at the pub and the girl was interested in her and the guys ...

A.   21 November 2016: The only suggestion I have is for you try to adjust the way you view relationships. At the moment, it sounds like you think because you have provided her with emotional support and tried to be a good boyfriend, you are somehow 'owed' more sexually ... (read in full...)

Why do men sexualize women this way?

Q.   Why are men so disgusting? I'm not trolling. From what I have seen of men, they are foul. They admit to looking at every woman as a sexual partner, imagining her naked... They think disgusting things. They use disgusting words when referrin...

A.   20 November 2016: Are you online dating by any chance? I've found this sort of talk to be SO common online and it gets me down too so I know where you are coming from. It's clear there are a lot of men out there who see women as a sum of their body parts and they are ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's excuse made me feel belittled

Q.   The other night my boyfriend and I had plans for dinner. We talked about it in the morning and he seemed super excited about it. Well later on in the morning his friends asked if he could do a boys night in which he responded with “I don’t feel like ...

A.   18 November 2016: While I know this is very common and I don't think he meant to offend you, I would definitely mention it. Simply say that you're worried that by using you as a scapegoat any time he doesn't want to say no to his friends, he is likely to make them ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me but claims she was taken advantage of, what do I do?

Q.   My girlfriend and i have been dating for about two months now, and it's been a semi long distance relationship with her going to a different college than me about 30 minutes away. We argue here and there about little things but at the end of the ...

A.   16 November 2016: As a rape survivor, some of the opinions on this question really concern me. Firstly, your own misconception that a woman wouldn't want to be sexual right away is incorrect. I've been to enough rape support groups to know that there's no one size ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend cheated on me but claims she was taken advantage of, what do I do?

Q.   My girlfriend and i have been dating for about two months now, and it's been a semi long distance relationship with her going to a different college than me about 30 minutes away. We argue here and there about little things but at the end of the ...

A.   16 November 2016: As a rape survivor, some of the opinions on this question really concern me. Firstly, your own misconception that a woman wouldn't want to be sexual right away is incorrect. I've been to enough rape support groups to know that there's no one size ... (read in full...)

How to avoid being tempted?

Q.   Hello, Here is an interesting one for you. I am married (with kids). My wife is very beautiful (former Miss), we have great sex - I can get it on demand, whatever I want, I think I love her, surely I wouldn't want to hurt her. Yet, I can't sto...

A.   14 November 2016: That's exactly it OP - there will always be temptations for both men AND women. It's what a person does about those temptations that determines their character. ... (read in full...)

High heels during sex...yay or nay?

Q.   This question is for you women out there. I really want to know if high heels are a sexual turn on for you girls or not? I love them and I want my wife to wear them every time during sex. But she doesn't!! It's the single most sexual turn on for me. ...

A.   1 November 2016: Nay, nay, nay! I mean I'd be willing to do it now and again for my partner if he asked but it wouldn't do anything for me and I certainly wouldn't be happy if he expected/needed it every time to enjoy sex. It's supposed to be HER you desire, not the ... (read in full...)

Why are more men dependent on women's support these days? Women is the child bearer, care giver, career holder, and now the financial supporter to men? What roles do men play then?

Q.   First and foremost, no offence to the men in this room. I'm posting this question because I am really curious to know the answer. Why are more men dependent on women's support now a days than men taking care of their women? I've often read posts...

A.   21 October 2016: As a single woman I do see what you mean to a certain extent. I've been shocked at the number of men in their 30s who still live at home, work a maximum of 10 hours a week (if that) and have no intentions of changing that. These men are clearly ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants me to unfriend a male acquaintance on Facebook. Should I have called him out for being controlling?

Q.   I'm either really stubborn or he's controlling. I can't tell. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and in that time I've never gone on a night out without him. I ended up going on one a few hours away with my friends who liv3 down there and I en...

A.   20 October 2016: If I'm reading this right, it's a friend of your ex rather than your ex himself right? I could just about understand your boyfriend's point of view if he was upset over an ex as many people don't think contact with an ex is appropriate, but a fr... (read in full...)

Why would my wife threaten to leave me over my porn use?

Q.   My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn. What is wrong with her? I have no idea why she thinks watching porn is bad. This is something I like to do and do it privately. I never told her I was into porn and many of you can guess wh...

A.   20 October 2016: "That question could be turned around and posed to the OP's wife just as easily: What's more important, her marriage, or her desire to control what her husband sees and hears?" She's already made her position clear, it's a dealbreaker to her and ... (read in full...)

Why would my wife threaten to leave me over my porn use?

Q.   My wife says she will leave me if I keep watching porn. What is wrong with her? I have no idea why she thinks watching porn is bad. This is something I like to do and do it privately. I never told her I was into porn and many of you can guess wh...

A.   19 October 2016: Your post doesn't make sense OP. You say on one hand you don't think you're doing anything wrong, but on the other you state you've been hiding your porn use from her. So that suggests you knew fine well she wasn't a fan of porn, or at least ... (read in full...)

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