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*ls022

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My annoying girlfriend makes me want to bang my head against the wall!

Q.   My girlfriend frustrates me, I have been working hard all week, I haven’t even bothered trying to be close to her as when she sees me she remembers to take me to get replacement fan, than it’s food shopping, than it’s some other chore. This week...

A.   8 July 2018: If your girlfriend (and indeed all women) are so bad OP, why not stay single?... (read in full...)

Our sex life is non existent

Q.   Me and my gf sex life is non existent. Sometimes I look forward to it and it can be over so soon. No foreplay happens, she doesn’t let me go anywhere near her for foreplay. She used to be really wild, and now it’s gone to nothing. I’m still up for ...

A.   21 May 2018: ‘If she is rushing into the inter course it must be because it feels good whatever you are doing’ I’m not trying to be mean but I actually think the opposite might be true here. If she’s rushing to intercourse yet has no real interest in the sex,... (read in full...)

I have a phobia of wasps and it's consuming me!

Q.   This isn't a relationship question, but I have a huge dilemma and I need some advice. I have a phobia of wasps, such a severe phobia that it's not rational. If I truly had a medical condition, then it would be rational, but I'm healthy and don'...

A.   12 May 2018: I agree with femmenoir but just wanted to add one thing: Being brave isn’t the same as not being scared. Bravery is being scared but doing the thing anyway. So I’d say the way you trapped the wasp despite your fear, shows you are a very brave an... (read in full...)

Is having a child something that you can end up thinking wow this is the best thing I have ever done or do you stick with your gut feeling?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and are just in the process of buying a house. She is wanting to have children in the next 2 years. The problem is I have never really been interested in having a child. I have a good job which I ...

A.   8 May 2018: My goodness no, of course I wasn’t suggesting having children purely to keep you company in old age so sorry if my post read like that to anyone! I was more getting at the fact my auntie has always envisioned her life surrounded by a big family, but ... (read in full...)

Is having a child something that you can end up thinking wow this is the best thing I have ever done or do you stick with your gut feeling?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 5 years and are just in the process of buying a house. She is wanting to have children in the next 2 years. The problem is I have never really been interested in having a child. I have a good job which I ...

A.   7 May 2018: You’ve already had some great advice, but I just wanted to add another point of view based on a conversation I had with my auntie not that long ago. Note that this isn’t designed to change your mind one way or the other, it’s just something I’d ... (read in full...)

I love her and really don't feel like breaking up. How can I handle this situation?

Q.   I'm in a relationship with a girl for more than a year now. At first it was all going really well but then in last few months we have not stopped fighting. This is frustrating and it's taking A toll on this relationship. She has this habit of over ...

A.   6 May 2018: You say ‘she has this habit of overthinking which leads to a number of unwanted thoughts and then fights’ then ‘she feels I try to blame her always’. Which is exactly what you have done in your post - blame her entirely for the fights you have... (read in full...)

Partner of 5 years lied about a 'friendship and now I feel like I'm blowing things out of proportion

Q.   Hi agony aunts and uncles. I've been a long time reader and love seeing your advice and views. I never once dreamed I'd be writing in and asking for advice. So where to begin. It's currently 2.30 am where I am and this has just happened in the ...

A.   5 May 2018: I don’t think you are in the wrong here at all. If there was nothing to hide, he shouldn’t have hidden it, but he did. I could believe that he might not mention it if it were just a few innocent texts, but to LIE? No, that’s shifty no matter how you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said he liked my skinnier self and now I'm very hurt.

Q.   I need help. Just had a big fight with my boyfriend of 5 years. We are in a hotel room travelling to Memphis and we were enjoying a week long road trip. I've put on some weight since we met. But then so has he. He had once told me he would...

A.   24 April 2018: While I agree that you should never ask a question like this if you can’t handle a negative answer, I also think your boyfriend has been massively tactless in his response. Most people know that such questions are asked by people looking for reas... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.

Q.   Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...

A.   21 April 2018: Anonymous female, I don’t think people are disputing there are times when one person (usually the female) doesn’t orgasm during a quickie, but the way you phrased your post suggests there are times when a man just wants to get off and can’t be ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is all about himself during sex, but never about me.

Q.   Hello, I was hoping I could ask for some help regarding my sex life. I have a wonderful 2 year relationship with my boyfriend. Genuinely feel like I've found the one for me, I think he's amazing. However, he's the first person I've slept with...

A.   19 April 2018: ‘Sometimes a man just wants to have sex and to put it more bluntly wants to just fu*k’ I honestly can’t decide if this makes me want to cry or scream! While the poster of this comment might be happy to let her partner use her body as a human ma... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   6 April 2018: ‘Are you upset because you believe someone thinks you are fat, or are you upset because you don't like your own body?’ Neither, I’d be annoyed because the person I love thinks it’s ok to deliberately pick out my so-called flaws and tell me they ... (read in full...)

Is online dating worth the effort?

Q.   So I have been trying to make sense of this... does online dating is worth the effort? I ask this because I put up my profile on 2 sites (one famous paid site and one famous free site) and I'm very disappointed with the results. I have a decent p...

A.   4 April 2018: I’m currently active on a few dating sites, so I feel I’m qualified to answer your question OP. In short, I do think it is worthwhile but it can be soul destroying. For men and women alike, albeit in different ways. So I’ll try to explain why I ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   3 April 2018: To the blokes on here saying we should learn to laugh at our imperfections rather than expecting our partners to keep silent about them, imagine if your partner made a ‘joke’ about your unsatisfactory penis size and justified it by saying ‘well ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   3 April 2018: As someone who was in a relationship with a man that sapped all of my confidence during the 6 years I was with him, I’d recommend you leave now. I put up with the ‘jokes’ and insults for way too long, and he always found a way to make me believe I ... (read in full...)

How can I build the sexual tension I need without being labelled a tease?

Q.   I’m currently dating but I’m having a problem with the sexual side of things. Basically, it takes me quite a bit of time to feel ready to have sex with someone. I’m talking about a good few dates to give the sexual tension time to build up and for...

A.   25 March 2018: Thanks everyone for your replies. CMMP you say: “I think you just don't go home with him or bring him home until you're ready for sex” This is exactly my problem in a nutshell. It’s not that I need to get to know the guy more, it’s like I need... (read in full...)

Advice needed - break up or work through it?

Q.   Hi, I've in my late 20's and I've been with my girlfriend for a year and a half. I love her and she is an amazing woman but our relationship has recently taken a lot of hits and it's affecting both of our happiness. To the point, we are both seri...

A.   3 February 2018: Regardless of the faith issue, which I completely agree with Honeypie on, I think if my partner had a ‘cons’ list like that about me I’d prefer he ended the relationship. Ignorant and uneducated are not terms you should use about the person you plan ... (read in full...)

My job interviewed didn't offer me a job but asked me out on a date. Is this appropriate?

Q.   I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a ...

A.   25 January 2018: I’d definitely consider reporting this to the company. Who’s to say he deliberately didn’t offer you the job so that he could ask you out on a date without breaching company rules? Either way, his behaviour was 100% inappropriate and I’d want to try ... (read in full...)

My new wife sunbathes topless and I've seen other men looking

Q.   We are in honeymoon. My wife did topless tanning in a beach with a lot of people. I dont feel so comfortable with this so I discussed with her. She didnt like it and she told me that I am jealous and that she did it only for tanning. I accepted it ...

A.   5 January 2018: I think the reason many of the women posters, including myself, react negatively to posts like this is because it can get a little tiring having to constantly adjust our behaviour in a way men don’t. I do understand where you are coming from OP,... (read in full...)

No Christmas gift from him!

Q.   I have a December birthday and my boyfriend of 9months got me a gift for my birthday but today on Chritsmas no gift. He got one from me. After his family left I asked if he had a gift for me, he said no he ran out of money and hopes to take me...

A.   27 December 2017: I’m starting to become quite disillusioned by the sort of behaviour people think it’s reasonable to accept in a relationship these days. Honestly OP, you are the one that went to the trouble of getting him a gift. Then, despite having discusse... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to be near me when I am sick.

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for past 2 years and it's going on good and we meet on weekends and stay together on weekend. One thing that concerns me, not sure if I should be, he doesn't want to meet and around me whenever I'm sick, he says he doesn...

A.   23 December 2017: Cindy maybe I have been ‘spoiled’ by that to a certain extent, although I do think people are overestimating the leniency of the UK sick policy. In my particular job, I can be off for 5 days before I must provide a medical certificate from my ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want to be near me when I am sick.

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for past 2 years and it's going on good and we meet on weekends and stay together on weekend. One thing that concerns me, not sure if I should be, he doesn't want to meet and around me whenever I'm sick, he says he doesn...

A.   22 December 2017: You know I remember posting a very similar question about my ex boyfriend some years back. He was the exact same way - the slightest hint of a sniffle and I was abandoned until it cleared up. In fact one time I remember sneezing a couple of times in ... (read in full...)

I no longer feel attracted to her due to her weight!

Q.   I know this is a delicate topic but I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years now - she used to be a UK Size 16-18 which I had no issue with whatsoever but she has been gradually gaining weight and now is around a 24/26 and I must admit I no longer ...

A.   21 December 2017: I can understand where you are coming from and I really do sympathise as you sound like a lovely caring guy, but I actually think repeatedly trying to talk to her about this might be making the problem worse. Weight gain and loss is a complex ... (read in full...)

Should I own up to my size?

Q.   I only have 4 inches erect and I met this girl about month ago. She is very beautiful and has great personality. We have gotten more physical in the relationship but due to nervousness I invent excuse to leave before she sees me naked or before sex ...

A.   17 December 2017: It makes me really sad that you feel you need to make any sort of apology or announcement about your own body OP. Why on earth would she feel deceived? You are who you are and anyone worth having in your life should accept you as such. I know you... (read in full...)

What can I do to make her pull her weight at home?

Q.   We have been married for over 5 years. I do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, house repairs, car repairs, take care of the animals, etc. Meanwhile my wife comes home, gets on her social media, and messes up the house. Shoes everywhere, papers, books, ...

A.   16 November 2017: This sounds awful OP, there’s nothing worse than feeling like you’re being taken for granted so I really do feel for you. It also would be awful living with someone who takes no pride in themselves or their home. One question I would ask you is w... (read in full...)

I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend

Q.   I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend... I've been seen this guy for 3 months now and things are moving forward. However, every time we start getting intimate, I freak out and stop all interactions. I'm a virgin and this is the first pro...

A.   12 November 2017: I think this is the time for complete honesty OP. At the moment, neither of you actually know what the other is thinking, which is leaving you open to misunderstandings on both sides. For example, you assume he is becoming frustrated, when he might ... (read in full...)

Why doesn't he offer birthday wishes?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for approx 2 years and he doesn't acknowledge my bday and never even wishes me happy bday. It might sound childish but I wish he could atleast wish me. If I tell him om the day its my bday, and ask whether he is go...

A.   5 November 2017: To be honest I wouldn’t stay in a relationship like this. That might seem drastic to some, but I believe this says a lot more about his character than you realise. Asking the person that is supposed to love you the most in the world to wish you... (read in full...)

How do I explain to my fiance that I want to go out dressed up as a female without hurting her feelings?

Q.   I'm engaged to a wonderful girl. I've always considered myself a female in my heart. I have been crossdressing secretly in the past but I can't anymore. I really want to go out and be feminine once in a while. I explained my fiancee my situation. I ...

A.   27 October 2017: All you can do is ask her, but you’ll need to do so knowing that you must respect her wishes if she says no. I know some people might argue that you have the right to express yourself in any way you see fit, which is right to an extent, but not ... (read in full...)

I think it's degrading to give oral if it's not reciprocated and he thinks I owe it to him because I gave it to other lovers!

Q.   An Oral Sex Dilemma My boyfriend and I have been discussing about oral sex for a few weeks now. We have very different opinions and want the opinion of outside individuals. I think that it is degrading to give oral when if it is not reciproca...

A.   4 October 2017: I'm guessing by degrading you mean that you feel he views sex as all about him. As something the woman gives and the man takes rather than something you both share to pleasure each other? If so I do get that. Honestly, it sounds like he has some... (read in full...)

Why can a woman reject sex but if her boyfriend does it, it's the worst thing ever?

Q.   Why does a female get so offended when you reject her from any pleasure? I been in relationship nearly 4 / 5 years. She doesn’t have same sex drive as me, she felt up for it once in our week long holiday, but because I’m so used to not having it she ...

A.   2 October 2017: OP it sounds like you are both having the exact same issue. You are annoyed when she rejects you, and she is annoyed when you reject her. It just sounds like neither of you want to back down or 'lose' so you're stuck in this stalemate. When ... (read in full...)

I am tired of feeling unsatisfied and sexually frustrated!

Q.   My boyfriend of over 1 year now will not satisfy me sexually. I feel like my needs do not matter to him! When I say I still haven't cum yet. Hes like "well what do you want me to do?" Then I tell him to finger me or something. He usually falls ...

A.   30 September 2017: Honestly I don't think there is much hope here. You've told him how you feel and how he can fix it and he seems unwilling to do anything about it. His response that you already 'did it' shows you that in his mind, sex begins and ends with his orgasm ... (read in full...)

Why am I stuck with the girl that doesn't want to give but wants me to do all the work?

Q.   I been in relationship for 4 years. She was virgin before we met. I have high sex drive , she doesn’t. I tried to accommodate this by doing stuff in shower and not bothering her. Sometimes I ask her to go down, and she won’t put in effort, when she...

A.   28 September 2017: Oh I almost forgot. If she needs to be drunk to want it? That is the clearest sign you will get that sex with you is not a good experience for her. Perhaps something else to think about...... (read in full...)

Why am I stuck with the girl that doesn't want to give but wants me to do all the work?

Q.   I been in relationship for 4 years. She was virgin before we met. I have high sex drive , she doesn’t. I tried to accommodate this by doing stuff in shower and not bothering her. Sometimes I ask her to go down, and she won’t put in effort, when she...

A.   28 September 2017: "So I wonder why does the guy do so much for her friend. I never understood" I think your problem is summed up in this one sentence. Your entire post reads like you view a relationship as one big transaction, where the man spends money/do... (read in full...)

Is it normal for sex to slow down in long term relationships?

Q.   My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years we were friends with benefits prior to this for 2 years. In the beginning sex was great and frequent and lately has gone to maybe only once a week and has caused some problems in our relationship. ...

A.   26 September 2017: I couldn't agree more with Honeypie. While a drop in sex is normal in all relationships to a certain degree, in my experience problems begin when the focus changes from 'I really want you' to 'I really want sex'. If you can try to spark more desire ... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   31 August 2017: 'You are saying listen to us or you won't get good or regular sex anymore.' Yes that's exactly what I'm saying, but not because I view sex as a commodity or a bargaining chip. I'm saying it because it's the only way to ensure a long term fulfilli... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   30 August 2017: I'm afraid I'm going to have to respectfully disagree with you on that Denizen. Sure there might be some women who have low sex drives but pretend to be interested to hook a man - I mean many people pretend to be something they are not at the ... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   30 August 2017: Denial in what way Denizen? I can only speak for myself but everything I've here sums up exactly how I feel...... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   29 August 2017: Couldn't agree with Cindy more! :) ... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   27 August 2017: I can only speak for myself here, but as a woman who has gone off sex with previous boyfriends, I'll tell you the reasons why and see if any of them help. 1. Im sorry if this is blunt, but one of the main reasons I've gone off sex in the past is ... (read in full...)

I want my boyfriend to be more tactile!

Q.   I am just back from a lovely weekend with my bf of 45 of one year. Things have been strained as he has joint custody of two pre-teen children and he works away twice a week plus there is 50 miles between us. There is no drama with his ex or ...

A.   26 August 2017: Questions like yours always interest me because often, you will find the advice is usually to accept that some people aren't overly affectionate and throwing away an otherwise good relationship for a lack of romance is silly. Yet, if someone ... (read in full...)

He's a sweet person except when he's turned on!

Q.   Dear Cupid(s), I am very confused. At the beginning of the year I met a guy and things seemed to be going really well. Both of us were virgins, and when we finally had sex it felt like that became all our entire relationship was about. I started...

A.   16 August 2017: I'm afraid I agree with everyone else - ending things again is your only option. And for what it's worth, I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to put up with a man who basically got himself off while I sat there awkwardly! I'd feel like he was ... (read in full...)

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