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"Always be Kinder than necessary"... J M Barrie

I've added some new quotes today (but also kept the earlier ones below)

And the next two quotes are from a wise Uncle on this site called BrownWolf http://www.dearcupid.org/people/brownwolf

“I very thankful for the ounce of common sense I have...because sense is not that common. :) “

"Stay away from foolish people; they have nothing to teach you."

That quote about foolish people from BrownWolf is so true. A weak person cannot be trusted. With a strong person you have more certainty, they are not afraid to stand up and be counted when they are needed.

And I especially like BrownWolf's first quote above on common sense and so I asked BrownWolf for permission to replicate it here. BrownWolf then generously offered the second quote, above, as well.

When you meet a person for the first time, then imagine they are facing their biggest challenge ever:

With this mind-set it reminds us to be kind and use empathy because we can never truly know the extent of personal challenges a person is currently facing.

Badgering a person and humiliation with unreasonable demands for "I have to know" is more likely to harm than help. We do not "have to know". Be kind. Listen carefully and remain supportive. Then the person will willingly reveal more and feel safe to reveal more again.

We can never assume that things are much easier than things are for ourselves.

It encourages one to listen carefully and employ empathy in our dealings with others.

In life we face many things. But with each challenge we can grow a little stronger. When you meet a person with great strength of character it is possible that they grew that strength as a result of some very tough obstacles and some personal tragedies.

Never underestimate such a person.

Strength does not imply brutality nor cruelty and often not even physical strength.

A truly strong person will never seek to harm another. They know their strength and they know that kindness will move mountains more easily than brutality.

Then there is one of my favourites: Sun Tzu.

The wisdom of Sun Tzu is still as fresh as the day he wrote it 4000 years ago:

“A leader leads by example not by force. “

And now some less well known quotes:

“It is much more valuable to look for the strength in others. You can gain nothing by criticizing their imperfections.”

by Daisaku Ikeda

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”

by Maya Angelou

“Challenges are what will make us stronger.”

by Zainab Alsaati

Respect other people's feelings. Even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean everything to them. (quoted by many, but generally considered to be by 'unknown')

'As I grow older, I pay less attention to what men say. I just watch what they do.'.....Andrew Carnegie

I also respect the Chinese idea of "face" - there is no need to humiliate people. It demeans the one doing the demeaning. there are better ways to call a person to account with dignity. Focus on the Issue when there is a problem rather than be accusatory to the person

'Spilled water is hard to regain' (fù shu nán shou)

"Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate." .....Albert Schweitzer

'A sunny disposition is worth more than fortune. Young people should know that it can be cultivated; that the mind like the body can be moved from the shade into sunshine'. .Andrew Carnegie

"We will not be remembered by our words, but by our kind deeds." ... Author Unknown, from A Great Life Lesson

“It always seems impossible until it's done.”... Nelson Mandella

"Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless." .....Mother Teresa

"Human kindness has never weakened the stamina or softened the fiber of a free people. A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough." .....Franklin D. Roosevelt

'Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.'...Andrew Carnegie

what's your favourite quote?

But all is not sweetness, kindness and light in this complex world.

There really are afflicted and inadequate people in this world who get their pleasure from deliberately trying to hurt others.

They do this out of an inflated sense of their importance in the scheme of things. They feel entitled to be mean to others. They have become arrogant over the years.

Yet they are not the strong individuals they think they are. Instead they are passive aggressive bullies.

There are those afflicted with traits that are so petty and unkind that one wonders what has happened to make them that way?

Their arrogance will not allow them to step back and get help for their afflictions.

Instead, like a bull in a china shop, they just keep on head butting harder and harder, using the same tactics they've been using for years to try to get their own way.

What traits cause the problems for such insecure arrogant persons with an inflated sense of entitlement?

Here are a few of the afflictions that continually cause problems in their relationships:

Negativity?

Passive Aggression?

Being Hate filled towards those they see as ''less'' than themselves = everyone?

Envy

Jealousy

For those afflicted with those horrible traits all I can feel for these tormented souls is pity that they are beset with such inadequacies and negativity.

The traits result in them concocting a lie that they are the victims, when in reality they are instead the bullies, the overly judgmental and nasty arrogant persons who enjoy hurting others.

Just feel sorry for them and their inadequate responses.

Then go forth and find things to enjoy in life. Find the positive, find ways to be supportive and kind to others. It is win win in every way on all sides.

Turn your back on cruel unkind and bitter people. Leave them to scheme alone. Their negativity causes their faces to betray their bitterness within.

Their hearts harden and they wonder why others can be so unaffected by all their schemes to hurt others. They are the losers who think their nastiness towards others is justified.

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A.   28 March 2016: small steps one step at a time - you certainly delighted her. that's nice... (read in full...)

Should I help my son financially?

Q.   My son is 28, and has basically never worked. I'm soooo disappointed in him, I can't begin to say. He hasn't spoken to me in over a year.He doesn't respond to phone calls, emails, texts, or anything. He thinks I belittle him because when I was i...

A.   22 March 2016: And consider that he's been like this for years. Why should he ever even try to be responsible when he is allowed carte blanche to do as he pleases? I read your previous question about your son and I can see he has been a source of concern for some ... (read in full...)

Should I help my son financially?

Q.   My son is 28, and has basically never worked. I'm soooo disappointed in him, I can't begin to say. He hasn't spoken to me in over a year.He doesn't respond to phone calls, emails, texts, or anything. He thinks I belittle him because when I was i...

A.   22 March 2016: All you will be doing for this adult man is enable him to live a little longer with his Mom and without exercising any responsibility on his part. Personally I think it would be depressing to still be tied to the apron strings for an adult ag... (read in full...)

If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?

Q.   I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...

A.   16 March 2016: On reading your follow-ups you have certainly been prudent and you have checked with HR. It is good to be so pro-active and cautious in these times. I would expect that your life experience will allow you to read the situation and recognis... (read in full...)

If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?

Q.   I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...

A.   15 March 2016: Good guys in the music industry write great songs all the time. Often with a particular person in mind. In fact who they meet, their experiences inspire them constantly. Some people erroneously think Pharrell Williams was an overnight success whic... (read in full...)

If I am to do so, how do I tell someone they have been creatively inspirational?

Q.   I am a singer/songwriter, who like many artists, is at times inspired by a member of the fairer sex, as the old phrase goes. There is someone I get to work with every so often, and to say she has piqued my interest is an understatement of the ...

A.   14 March 2016: you could offer her an opportunity to be mentored by you, with no strings attached and tell her you would like to succeed in what is a tough business. This would allow a professional relationship to develop and when she does start to get recognit... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   31 January 2016: and similar to the one with 70 replies is this great contribution with 50 replies on ideas suggested and some implemented to improve the site over the years. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/wanted:-your-input-on-dearcupidorg.html Great t... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   24 January 2016: This Article is Gold and deserves to be sitting alongside the other star articles, even though it is not an article. But with 70 plus responses I think it qualifies as an article on what you would like to see developed on the dearcupid site. Histo... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   15 August 2015: this is not an article but it is a gorgeous answer that Missy_25 wrote in reply to a poster. Missy_25 answered the following question - and her answer is worth pinning up somewhere prominent at home. Her advice was AAA all stars and I loved it... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   21 May 2015: Dating tips. Thanks to a fairly new poster commenting on the following post I would see that this great contribution deserved to be in this compilation. So here it is: Need to think of some questions to ask on a date? Below is a great list o... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   12 April 2015: Well I just realized that GeeGee255 's article is so good that I have recommended it twice. That's what happens to really good articles. They are enduring. Wise advice is worth sharing with others. And dearcupid.org certainly does have a lot of w... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   12 April 2015: GeeGee is a wise Aunt with three sons and some amazing life experience. She started dispensing advice at age 13 and is now a very busy grandmother. I've let her know that I thought her post was really relevant to teens today and so I am highlighting ... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   2 March 2015: Relationships - it's not plain sailing sometimes. Now the following is not from an article. But the answer from very wise Uncle wiseowle was so good to this question below that I am including the post in this compilation of really Great arti... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   24 February 2015: Looking much younger than your chronological age. What a great article One of the Uncles: mfj78 has written here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/the-perills-of-looking-young.html I love articles that really demonstrate a key is... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   1 September 2014: Always on the lookout for new good articles to group together in this archive of great articles on dearCupid.org. It makes it easier to find the articles so that I can recommend the articles to others . Today I am adding a guide o teen dating w... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   1 September 2014: I am adding a new Article to the DEAR CUPID Hall of Fame. It is about DATING TIPS and deserves to be here with the Best http://www.dearcupid.org/question/first-date-tips.html Although it started off as a question it is so good that the ans... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   28 June 2014: Online dating: Thank you Mark1978 I just added an article by Mark1978 to my list of TOP articles. Mark1978 has just created this excellent article on online dating. http://www.de... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   29 May 2013: This compilation is so useful. I just recommended three articles celebrated within this Article. You can find out which articles I just recommended by clicking on to the link below. My responses to the question below are all about datings. a... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   1 March 2013: Thank you for reading the article on articles. You Should be on the list of my favorite Articles DirtBall. You write some wonderful advice. Not only is the article a great way to find a group of good articles I also hope it alerts people ne... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   6 February 2013: Valentine’s Day – that special time each year for lovers. To some people Valentine’s day is very very special. To others the day passes without another thought. So often people start thinking about Valentine’s day and need some ideas or some sup... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   6 February 2013: When I see an outstanding Article I intend to add it to this resource. So I can easily find the article again in the future. So now this resource holds 58 really Great Articles by really thoughtful and excellent Aunts and Uncles on this site. ... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   19 September 2012: There can always be new variations and new issues that have not yet been asked and have not yet been posted on Dear Cupid. So if you are in love with your teacher or your lecturer then DO post your NEW question please Sometimes some addition... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   15 September 2012: Teacher Student Crushes keep on happening. Often the student wants to know if others understand their feelings So today I thought I would create the Definitive resource on past advice on Students in love with their teacher or with a Crush on their... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   12 September 2012: Thank you anonymous, for your Recommendation for an Article that really Resonates with you, and no doubt many other readers. And "I am here to help you" is indeed a big contributer on this site. Well spotted. There is nothing worse than that hor... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   12 September 2012: This following question from 2010 has a response by Yos. There are 66 responses to this question on Retroactive Jealously from some amazing Aunts and Uncles in Dearcupid.org. Now Amazing Yos if you do not yet know it is, seriously, the BEST expo... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   2 September 2012: Now over 40 articles so far in this resource - the ones in the initial article at left, plus the additional articles I have added in through followups, including this new follow up. And it is not finished yet. I am still going through lists of... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   1 September 2012: Another reason not to post an Article as Anonymous. I have been trawling through some Articles that might be almost impossible to find. Except some digging around has revealed four more articles from the past that deserve to be read again. I cou... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   31 August 2012: Thank you So Very Confused. I am not finished yet. Still looking for more good articles Regards Abella. ... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   31 August 2012: Thank you CTR And I intend to add any article I need to find in a hurry and think might be useful in the future, be it an article published 4 years ago or 4 minutes ago I can't guarantee to put up every article. Only the ones that I think might ... (read in full...)

22 Great Articles from Great Aunts and Uncles on this site. Can you add to the list? Do you have a favourite article on DearCupid?

Q.   Articles written by other Aunts and Uncles on DearCupid. Which ones are your personal favourites and which ones helped you the most? I often find it hard to find the best articles on DearCupid. I know there are some great articles on the site, bu...

A.   31 August 2012: I have just found some more articles that deserve to be added to the list of my favourites This resource is already proving to be very useful when I go looking for that amazing article. wish I had thought of this earlier. Here are the extra ar... (read in full...)

*bella's friends

These are mutual friends, so *bella has added them and they have added *bella!

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