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*ot My Name agony aunt

*ot My Name

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*ot My Name's profile:

I guess I am an analytical type of person who tries to consider all aspects of a situation from all angles and view it with logic rather than react with emotion. I am an observer of people and oft reflect upon human behaviour including my own which is not always ideal lol) and feel this has given me a pretty good perspective on the varying dynamics of human situations. Well most of the time anyway :-) I've always seemed to be the one being sought out by friends for advice.

I am a spiritualist by religion (yes - talking to dead people) but with a scientific approach. I am considered quite knowledgable in paranormal matters, and oft counsel and empower people having issues in that dept, but as comes with the turf will also help with people's problems. I am not a thou shalt do this and don't do that type tho, that mind control crap in many religions makes me sick! I think we answer to our own conscience at the end of the day and if we grow and learn from an experience no matter how moral or immoral it is percieved by others, then we are progressing as people which is what it is all about at the end of the day.

Realtionship staus - hmm, kinda complicated, maybe later :-)

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What is this guy on????

Q.   I wanted to know if its disrespectful when you just met a guy gave him your number then 3 hours later the first call he's calling you asking if i wanna go sauna with him and his male friends??? i said no i aint gonna go sauna with you and your ...

A.   18 July 2010: Sounds even worse than just wanting to get you in to bed. Think about it, he wants you in the sauna with his mates, ..then same night gives you an ultimatum to come to his house to watch movies. What do you think you would be watching and how... (read in full...)

How can I talk to my doctor about this when he's male?

Q.   Hi there, this is a pretty personal question and i am a tad bit embarrassed although it must be addressed. my husband and i have been together for 6 years, and up until about a year ago i used to like intercourse to be deep and rough. we experi...

A.   18 July 2010: You dont have to give him specific details of your sex acts if you are embarrassed. Just tell him that intercourse is causing you pain and respond to his questions from there. ... (read in full...)

Condoms! We don't use them, why do you have them?

Q.   Serious problem! I've been in a relationship with my guyfriend for the last three years, and during this time we have never used condoms during intimacy. A couple of weeks ago, I discovered condoms in his nightstand, and he hurriedly rushed over ...

A.   18 July 2010: Nope, he is all over the place with excuses coz he is the one lying and cheating. If he is not going to admit to it, you are going to either have to think of other ways to confirm it, or just go with the obvious and simply walk away. ... (read in full...)

He won't move out and the police don't help..how do I evict my 46yr old drug addicted roommate?

Q.   Please help with this problem. I live with a guy who smokes crack frequently. It didn't start out this way years ago when I met him. He was in AA and clean. He started this, unbenownst to me at the time, when he took his first drink again after ...

A.   10 July 2010: Have the police pick him up for use or possession. Problem solved. :-)... (read in full...)

Is there another piece of jewelry that can be used to signify engagement besides a ring?

Q.   I was wondering instead of engagement rings can you have another kind of jewerly to say ur engaged or some thing like that? No i'm not actually getting engaged or anything I was just curious....

A.   4 July 2010: Obviously rings are the traditional thing. However, who says you have to be bound by tradition. I think you can attribute meaning and sentiment to any item you choose to. When my friends mum and dad got engaged, he could not afford a ring at ... (read in full...)

I got married 8 days ago and think I made a mistake!

Q.   I am lonely, only just married. I got married only eight days ago, and I am already feeling I made a mistake. He is very neglectful of me emotionally and sexually. I am a very attractive woman. I am a very sweet, kind woman. We have been living ...

A.   4 July 2010: In some places you have something like 30 days to annul a marriage without going through the hassle of divorce. If you are thinking of bailing out, it may be opportune to do so sooner rather than later. ... (read in full...)

Not sure who the baby's father is, considering abortion

Q.   I caught myself thinking of an abortion not to long ago and im almost 5 months, i'm watching maury and all these young girls around my age are screaming they want a baby not knowing who the babys father is and ect. my biggest fear is to have this ...

A.   29 June 2010: You may think of an abortion as a means of erradicating your guilt, but what more often happens to women choosing this option is that they then carry guilt about the abortion itself. Your trading one guilt for another and need to ask yourself... (read in full...)

My mother caught me masturbating with her underpants! Help!

Q.   hey im 14, and my mother caught me masterbating over her underpants. how do i handle this?...

A.   27 June 2010: I think it is one of those best not mentioned situations. As a mum of a son I think that would be my tactic as long as it was not something I was aware was ongoing. I know you're dying of embarrasment now, but life will go on, and one day you ... (read in full...)

Help! I'm afraid there's some physically wrong with me!

Q.   hey. I wanted to ask is it natural for 16yo virgin boy, after getting an erection twice in 40min. period, not to get fully erected again when there's naked girl laying beside you and you're touching her? Because it has happened to me and I think ...

A.   27 June 2010: Ditto what CG said. It's perfectly normal. ... (read in full...)

Physical evidence that he's been cheating?

Q.   my boyfriend has 2 red big patches in between his upper theighs and i asked him what they were from one time and he said maybe it was because i was giving him oral sex and they were from my head rubbing up against him...I can see that happening, but ...

A.   19 May 2010: The only way I think a person could get a thigh rash from getting head would be if the person doing it had facial hair/stubble. Probably just chaffing tho from weight or too tight clothes. ... (read in full...)

Am I allergic to condoms?

Q.   me and my boyfriend have just had sex for the first time together, it wasn't our first time completely as we have slept with other people before. every time i have sex and use a latex condom, it gets about 10 minutes into it and it feels like it ...

A.   19 May 2010: Perhaps try some lube first to eliminate the friction problem. If it still persists try a non-latex condom.... (read in full...)

Gone off sex and it's destroying my marriage! Help me get it back!

Q.   i an a 49 year old have been married to my second husband now for nearly five years , i love him to bits but i have gone off sex this is destroying our maggarige and i want to know what to do to get it back . i have been through the menopause ...

A.   17 May 2010: Yes, women can often lose their libido during menopause. Talk to your doctor about this, something like hormone replacement therapy may help you out. ... (read in full...)

Replaced by a dildo!

Q.   *Op's own title* hi i have ED on and off for the past year and its something my wife will nor acsept. she as taken to using her dildo or other things. i find when she does things like that i get hard or if she taks slutty that seams to work. at...

A.   17 May 2010: Get her to talk dirty whilst playing with a dildo, then take over once you get hard from it. ... (read in full...)

My husband threw me out the house coz I don't get along with his brother.

Q.   me and my husband are young married couple. everything messed up when my brother inlaw and his girlfriend move in with us... just to make the story short... they didnt like me and i didnt like them... and at the end of the day my husband thrown...

A.   17 May 2010: It depends on the type of person you are. Personally I would not bother with a guy, hubby or not, who threw me out for those reasons. I'd have more pride than to go crawling back to that situation, or that man.... (read in full...)

Cramping after my period and plan B?

Q.   I had I had protected sex with my boyfriend for the first time on April 23. My period came about the 5 of April usually last about 4 days. My periods are very irregular cannot predict my next one my cycle is typically 30 -35. I believe I was ...

A.   17 May 2010: Extremly highly unlikely, but why dont you get on some birth control (in addition to condoms) instead of repetatively causing yourself this undue worry as you are likely to keep doing. ... (read in full...)

His Coworker, Me, and Him.

Q.   *OP's own title* Boyfriend tells me he doesn't want me thinking he doesn't want me talking to anybody that he knows that certain people are going to cross my path that I cant avoid, that it's life. He tells me he talks to this female co-worker and ...

A.   8 May 2010: There is nothing wrong with speaking to other people. If you have issues with a partner engaging in simple conversation then you are wanting to control their most minor actions. You need to lighten up and stop reading in to things where there is no ... (read in full...)

How to Kiss A Taller Guy

Q.   I'm still in high school and i have a new boyfriend. The problem is that he is 6feet tall and I'm 5'3. He hasn't had his first kiss yet and I can't reach him so I'm not sure how to get him to kiss me. :(...

A.   7 May 2010: I'm 5'3 and my guy is over 6 ft. The first time I kissed him he was sitting in a chair and I just walked up, lent over, said softly in his ear, 'tell me to stop if I freak you out', and then planted one on him. He was stoked, but said he probably... (read in full...)

My family forced me to have an abortion, ...and now I think I am pregnant again!

Q.   On March 27, 2010 I was forced to have an abortion by my mom and grandmom.They knew i didnt want an abortion, so they cut had made me stop going to school,cut off my phone, and took my laptop so that I could have any contact with any one who was ...

A.   7 May 2010: If you have been on the pill for a month, taking it properly, and have not been ill with vomiting or the runs, then it is 99% likely that you are NOT pregnant. However, wait a week or 2 and do a test to make sure. ... (read in full...)

He told me never to call him again and to get tested for HIV! Why would he do this to me?

Q.   ive a psoarisis, till my boyfriend found out when we try to fist made up. he felt sorry for me and yet we still have it in protected way. (COndom) the worst part is, he left me hanging dont know why he ask me not to call him anymore and ask me to ...

A.   5 May 2010: I don't see what psoriasis has to do wih sex since it is not an std, ... but personally I'd freak out a bit if a guy I slept with told me to check myself for HIV - not coz of anything I have, .. but I'd start worrying what he had to make such a ... (read in full...)

Does it hurt? A handjob through fabric?

Q.   Alright, so handjobs- I HATE them. My boyfriend is constantly wearing basketball shorts, and the elastic is to tight for me to be able to move my arm around enough, so lately, I've been starting out by rubbing him through the shorts. My question is, ...

A.   5 May 2010: ummm, why not just rip his boxers down and eliminate the question? I know U have said you dont particularly like hand jobs, but if you are practically doing that anyway, what is the diff really between skin and fabric? You will feel more free i... (read in full...)

Will my helmet be a sex magnet?

Q.   I bought a Honda Shadow Aero today and from what I hear, if you strap a helmet to the back of your motorcycle, no matter what kind it is, the ladies will come from miles - is this true?...

A.   5 May 2010: Absolutely not! What a ridiculous notion - Where did you hear such nonsense from? ... (read in full...)

Broke up for a year and now I'm pregnant, he wants me to have an abortion!

Q.   Well last year the love of my life of 14 yrs left me and our son saying he"had to get himself together". Well it was a huge adjustment for me as well as our 10 year old son. He was always around, still active in my sons life. We remaine civil. I ...

A.   5 May 2010: No, you're not wrong. It goes beyond selfish for him to want you to do something you have been beating yourself up for years for having done previously. And honestly, I think it would not help your relationship at all if you are having guilt tr... (read in full...)

I don't want to just hit on girls until one of them says yes, ..but is it reasonable to think a connection could happen naturally?

Q.   It seems like everyone I know that's my age has had sex numerous times. I'm feeling really left behind, last time I had a girl friend was in 9th grade...I'm almost 20 years old now. First the girl this girl that I liked lost her virginity, then ...

A.   2 May 2010: I must say I have NEVER actively pursued meeting someone. Past relationships have come from school friends, friends of friends, sporting pursuits, social events, random meetings at work, saying g'day to someone down the street/in shops, ... and ... (read in full...)

Why does the man blame the woman?

Q.   why does a man do something wrong and then try to turn it around on the woman instead of making up?...

A.   1 May 2010: To be fair, that happens in reverse too, and the reasons for it are as many as the variety of situations in which it arises. Without providing any details, don't expect anyone to be able to comment specifically on whatever situation has bugged y... (read in full...)

Sex is not as exciting as it used to be, ... and is it normal for 'straight' girls to crave other women?

Q.   I am 18 years old and about to finnish highschool. I have been dating my girlfriend for about 9 months and recently she has told me that sex is not as exciting anymore. I kind of agreed because we used to sneak out and go somewhere in my car all the ...

A.   1 May 2010: If you want to make it more exciting, shake it up a little coz it sounds like you guys have a bit of a set routine going on. Starting initiating the pouncing yourself too, ... she clearly wants to have sex with you since she keeps making the move... (read in full...)

Will a tight foreskin affect my ability to have sex?

Q.   hi...i'm a 20 year old virgin guy, my girlfriend is virgin too....recently i oobserved lots of hints by her that she want to have sex with me, i too want to have sex with her....now my problem is that my foreskin is still very tight, i can pull it ...

A.   1 May 2010: You don't have to pull your foreskin back to have sex. My guy CHOOSES to have his left fwd/covering coz he simply prefers it. It will slide back and forth a bit over the head depending what you are doing, but it may only go to the point of ... (read in full...)

How can I back down and tell my daughter I am sorry?

Q.   My only daughter has always been my baby girl. Ever since she was just a little girl she talked about beign a princess on her wedding day. I always told her that I would make her a princess on that day, I just didn't think that day would come so ...

A.   1 May 2010: Dont write her prospect of a long union off coz of her age alone. Ok, I am not with my long term partner anymore, ... but I met him when I was 17 and stayed with him almost 2 decades. Hell of a lot longer than many older people are together... (read in full...)

I push him away yet he keeps coming back for more.

Q.   hi. so there's this boy that i think likes me. i am of course one of the more 'agressive' girls at my school and wont take anything from anyone! so whenever he messes with my friends or me i will go up and punch him. :) and he doesnt really care, ...

A.   30 April 2010: aww, c'mon, admit it, you're sweet on him ya self lol :-])... (read in full...)

Has anyone got any tips on how to get your boyfriend really horny?

Q.   So, i'm a virgin and my boyfriends not. i know it's usually the other way around and all, but not in this situation. he's ate me out, fingered me, and we dryhump all the time. the thing is, i wanna make him really horny. what are some really good ...

A.   30 April 2010: It depends on the guy and what turns him on. So don't ask us, ..ask him! ... (read in full...)

I hate that I need "kinky" thoughts to achieve an orgasm!

Q.   porn is so visual and kinky, the fact that its not you in the act makes it so much more kinky and orgasmic, its weird, the kinkier the better to orgasm to....i find it easier to masturbate to porn (watching men strip, women strip, gay porn.) I ...

A.   30 April 2010: Have you tried to just block all thought, let go, and fully immerse yourself in simply feeling? I know we are all diff, ..but that is kinda where my head is at during sex, ... all passion, all emotion, all feeling, and I aint thinking jack - ... (read in full...)

Should I sacrifice my own dream wedding for my family?

Q.   I have a Big Problem and its very Complicated I was born a man and I dress like a woman I act like a woman I do everything like a woman but I don't like men I have a girlfriend but she dressess like a man and acts like a man so basically she's the ...

A.   30 April 2010: How about you guys do what you want for a wedding with the outfits and wot not and people who do support you, ... and then have a second ceremony that is more casual attire (perhaps even just part of the reception?) and that way you can have the ... (read in full...)

His best friend wants to go out with me but a part of me is hoping the guy I love will come back to me, what should I do?

Q.   I was talking to this guy for a year un-official and he just stopped talking to me without giving me a reason and now he has a new girlfriend and it hurts me so bad i told him many times i was in love with him but he act like he don't care i can't ...

A.   30 April 2010: You are not real clear here. Does talking just mean talking? If so, then anything else you do is no issue or relevance to him. I am not sure tho how you can deide after hanging out once if going out with his besty has any potential, .. seems a ... (read in full...)

Will she tell me she wants anal?

Q.   Will women just come out and say what they want? My wife originally was anti-anal, wouldn't even let me get close. As time has gone on, things have progressed and it was first playing around the outside of her anus, then pinky penetration, then ...

A.   30 April 2010: It depends on the woman if she would say something or not. Like your wife I was not in to that and tho my guy had never hit me up for it directly, I knew he had done it in his teens and wanted to again, but I told him he was never getting ... (read in full...)

Lusting is wrong... or is it?

Q.   Yeah, im a 16 year old kid and having some issues with myself, mostly to do with lust. I know that lust is wrong. When i used to lust it made me want to masturbate. When i did, it felt normal. When i fell in love for the first time i stopped because ...

A.   30 April 2010: Who says lust is wrong? Just curious where this idea has been instilled in you from as it may give people a better idea on what angle to respond to you from. ... (read in full...)

I want to share a place with someone but not a boyfriend or my parents... any ideas?

Q.   I was diagnosed with the mental illness (bipolar) over a year ago when I was 21, now you're probably looking at this and thinking then you deserve to be alone but what's a plan for not living alone that doesn't include my parents as life partners? ...

A.   30 April 2010: The first plan would be to stop thinking yourself unworthy of the simple things others take for granted. Mental illness in one form or another effects 1 in 4 people. Do you think someone with arthritis and needing medication is unworthy? No, of c... (read in full...)

No one remembers his birthday, should I greet him?

Q.   Probably this question has been posted many times but I just missed the chance to read it. Last month, I told my ex that I prefer if we stop communicating. I have always asked him before but he would just pop out again about a week or two. But...

A.   30 April 2010: If you are going to send a birthday greeting (which I personally see no problem with - but I am not the type to stop talking to ex's either) send it becasue your intent is to brighten his day, coz you feel sorry for him, coz it is just nice, ... (read in full...)

Why does he ask me these strange questions in bed?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for almost 1 year with my guy. We both have previous marriages and have dealt with a lot of "Drama" from both sides over the past year. Our sex life is great! Every night.. and sometimes more than once in a night. ...

A.   30 April 2010: I think asking about his brother is really weird. Telling you to do things like you did to an ex just confuses me and I don't know what to make of it. And the asking about another 'cock in you', well the weird factor their would depend in my mind if ... (read in full...)

Why won't he initiate sex or tell me what he wants?

Q.   I am a sexually assertive woman who is concerned that my boyfriend does not initiate sex or tell me what he wants. I enjoy sex and BJs and like to start the day with a BJ but it is always me initiating sex - sometimes I feel like I am bothering ...

A.   29 April 2010: Use him as a lab rat lol. Whilst you are doing things to him just ask him if he likes it, ... if this (alter it slightly) feels nicer, .... if he prefers one action to another, ... how about x, etc, etc, ....and just get all the info out of him that ... (read in full...)

I'm 9 weeks pregnant but have no symptoms! Is my baby ok?

Q.   im 9 weeks pregnant. im worried because i haven't had hardly any pregnancy symptoms, i have not had any sickness, at first i had really sore boobs but now they are fine and not sore at all, the only three things i have had is urinating a bit more ...

A.   29 April 2010: I did not cop any symptoms either. No mood swings, no cravings, no sore boobs, no nausea, only an 8 kg weight gain (less than 4 pounds) most of which was the baby and fluid ... and I was able to keep working right up until the day before giving ... (read in full...)

Our daughter went missing whilst oversea's 4 years ago. How do I let go?

Q.   Everything I'm about to tell you is true. Four years ago, we had a horrific tragedy occur in the family. We lost our 19 year old daughter to human trafficking. She was a very bright girl; got A's in all her classes and even graduated third ...

A.   29 April 2010: That's just terrible. I'm so sorry for you and your family xxx I can't imagine how hard this must be on you all, nor can I think of anything constructive to say about a situation that for most is just beyond imagining. I think you (as a family... (read in full...)

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