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... Send lildeesbg a private message | | | lildeesbg's profile:I am 24 years old and am currently in the process of obtaining a BA in psychology. Next year I will continue studying in order to get my MA. I am extremely down to earth and I love to have a good time enjoying the positive things in life.
My approach to responding to peoples questions is to help them see something their overlooking. In order to do so I might ask them questions that they would have to be truthful answering. Most people deep down know the right thing to do or say but their scared to be honest with themselves because fear or letting go of someone or realizing something isnt right can be scary. If we are truthful with ourselves then a positive change can occur.
I believe that communication is extremely important. That is why many of my responses suggest people to talk with the person or persons their having issues with. If you speak about your problems then you can have a more indepth sense of what the other person is feeling. I always suggest that communication comes first before any action is taken.
Overall, I feel this site is wonderful because people can get different aspects of their situation.
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| Latest articles: Fear Of The Unknown
This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
27 October 2007: "You never realize what you have until its gone" Such a powerful quote, for people who have experienced this type of loss. Think about it, having something so good that you cant even appreciate it until its no longer there. Dont you think that is ...
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How do I orgasm without a vibrator?
Q. how do i give my self an orgasm with out sex toys all i have is a back vibator that i use as a vibrator...
A. 3 June 2008: Well your finger where ever your vibrator goes and is successful then thats where your finger should go. However explore and get to know yourself.
Just so you know, becareful not to over use the any vibrator because you can become dependan... (read in full...)
Why do they ejaculate on my belly? Is this normal?
Q. I am on the pill and recently started having sex. Even though I am supposed to be safe, the boys I've been with still pull out and ejaculate on my belly. My friend tells me all guys like to do this. Is this normal? Is it necessary at all?...
A. 3 June 2008: Despite the fact your on the pill accidents happen! and a guy who your not serious with isnt going to take a chance on getting you pregnant PERIOD. Therefore the quickest space where they can ejaculate is your stomach. You also need to remember that ... (read in full...)
This will be my first time, and I don't know where to start!
Q. i dont know wat to do this will be my first time and i dont know where to start. please please help....
A. 3 June 2008: Before i begin I just want you to realize the decision your making! YOu dont want to be 31 and regret who your first sexual partner was. Okie, well basically i can tell you that you will definitely be very nervous (which is soooo normal). It migh... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is having trouble letting go of the fact I wasn't a virgin!
Q. My boyfriend of six months is having troubles letting go the fact that I wasn't a virgin before we started dating. I was totally honest with him when we first started dating that i wasn't a virgin coming out of a year relationship with someone else. ...
A. 3 June 2008: Its simple he has a mixture of feelings, as a guy he cant picture another guy with his girl, especially since you took his virginity, he might feel cheated. I think you did the right thing being open. I think he is taking it abit far, coming from ... (read in full...)
Cunnilingus blues... this discharge is ruining my sex life!
Q. I've had thick white-ish discharge when I get wet for as long as I can remember. All my friends told me they got it too sometimes, but when my boyfriend found out, he stopped going down on me. I try to clean it off whenever I can find it, but it's ...
A. 3 June 2008: Here is an idea... why dont you and your guy go to the gynocologist together and have your doctor explain to him the normalcy of your issue. (If you dont have a gyno you should get one regardless because its important for us women). Any way maybe a ... (read in full...)
Wondering about his foot fetish, I'm not sure how to take this!
Q. Over the past couple months I have been hanging out with my brother at our lake house and his friends. Im 29 and they are in their early to mid 40's. I started to fall for "Colin" whom I have hung out w/ 4 times. This past weekend "Colin" invited me ...
A. 3 June 2008: Well its simple, your dating/interested in a man with a sexual fetish. There are different types of fetishes however for him feet are his turn on (which is definitely the less extreme of other types of fetishes). Its a really clear and cut ... (read in full...)
My best friend bragged about being asked out my the boy I like, is she a true friend?
Q. Hey My best friend has betrayed me. she kinda knew that i liked this lad. she went to ____ last night a massive party for teens. he was there. so when she got home she started bragging about him, trying to make me jealous. he asked her to get off ...
A. 31 May 2008: I think that if your friend had an idea that you liked this guy and went out of her way to brag to you that he hit on her, she is obviously not a true friend.
Surround yourself with people that will be there for you and make you a better person. ... (read in full...)
He came home from working abroad and I think he is not as interested?
Q. I'm in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who's moved interstate for work. He told me he's coming home in a few weeks, but has been booked out by his friends and family and wont have time to see me. I'm not upset that he's spending ...
A. 31 May 2008: Honestly, if you two are in a committed relationship I dont see how he cannot make time for you. Why cant he ask you to join him in all these events like seeing his buddies and family?
The problem with relationships today is that people neglect ... (read in full...)
Is this a medical issue or is it that my girlfriends have been satisfied quicker than I have?
Q. Dear DearCupid, I have what feels a serious problem, I'm in love with this girl, we have been for nearly 2 years(in a relationship). We began to have sex in October last year. I love her so much; but a problem that we seem to have is that I can sa...
A. 31 May 2008: I dont think you have a sexual medical problem. Some people take longer to orgasm then others. However, when your in the act and your worrying about it and obsessing about it all it does it interfer with the moment and therefore you will not be able ... (read in full...)
Did I allow myself to be put in this situation?
Q. Ok so i was talkin to this guy and we were like almost the same. there was definitley a connection between us. and when we were around each other we got along great. i dont think that their was ever a dull moment. we went out and stuff but we were ...
A. 14 May 2008: So your concerned about remaining friends with him? If thats the case then you have to talk with him. Call him and explain to him that a friendship is important to you and you dont want to lose that. There is nothing wrong with admitting to someone ... (read in full...)
Help my bf is going too fast, how do I slow him down!!!! DESPERATE FOR ANSWER
Q. i am 12 and am dating a 14 year old he is really cool and i like him but he is moving to fast for me weve been together for about 1 week and he already wants to kiss and makeout and maybe even see me naked but says he doesnt want to "ball" me until ...
A. 14 May 2008: First off let me commend you on being a strong person to not feelings pressured into something you dont want to do! Not many people, especially people your age will standup for what they believe in, especially regarding sexual matters. I think your ... (read in full...)
His talking to his bestfriend more than 10 times a day is getting on my nerves!
Q. Why can't I move on, everytime I think about the way my boyfriend talk all the times, every hour to his friend the one that he call his bestfriend, give me doubt about him. I know they were friends before he met me but come on now, no one talk to ...
A. 20 April 2008: This is why communication is a MUST! your right to be annoyed. But instead of not picking up the phone when he calls or avoiding him, try TALKING to him. Is it possible to sit him down with cell phones off and express to him that the amount of time ... (read in full...)
She said we should take things slower, so now I fear I have ruined my chances?
Q. Hello there. I have fallen in love with a girl that I don't know very well. We went out a couple of times and I like her and want to be with her even though I don’t know her well. On the last date I kissed her and told her that I wanted to be with ...
A. 20 April 2008: You did not blow it, however...have you ever heard the term "slow and steady wins the race"? Well that holds true for many situations, especially with relationships. Saying to someone "i want to be with you" is a big statement, especially if you ... (read in full...)
Do lads like a girl who can make them laugh?
Q. a lad told me he thinks im funny n i make him laugh - do lads generally like a girl who can make them laugh? x...
A. 20 April 2008: Yes, men like when they are with a girl who can make them laugh. Being able to make a guy laugh brings many positives to the table. ~dee... (read in full...)
He's 30, and I'm almost 19, the age gap doesn't bother either of us. Given the circumstances, do you think it matters?
Q. Been meeting up with a 30 year old guy lately in the city. We originally met through work contacts and have kept in touch. I fancied him straight away, he's gorgeous and very funny. I love how sophisiticated he is; he takes me for lovely dinners, ...
A. 20 April 2008: It does seem that having to grow up fast at a young age has lead you to develop a mature outlook at 19. Which is wonderful and its good to see someone who had difficulties rise above. My outlook on the situation is that I cant see what a 30 year old ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my long-term girlfriend I want more sexually?
Q. My girlfriend and me have been together for over 1 and 1/2 years. We have no sex. She doesnt even like to touch my penis naked. But I finger her alot. How can I tell her I want to do more?...
A. 28 March 2008: Have you and your current girlfriend had sex before? If so then there are many possibilities to consider, such as: she did not enjoying it, its painful for her, fear, she might want to become abstinant or other issues within your relationship.
... (read in full...)
My husband hit me--should we separate?
Q. My husband told me tonight that we should separate. He says if I went away for a year and lost some weight and sorted my pms, out he would reconsider. I am very hurt. Last week he hit me over the head with a glass and caused injury. He says it ...
A. 28 March 2008: Arguments happen...however, hitting you over the head with a glass object is totally UNACCEPTABLE. Your husband is physically injuring you and is causing future psychological problems for your son (if he is seeing his mother calling out for help and ... (read in full...)
I don't think he trusts me anymore after he broke off our LDR.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and as things may seem great to others. I'm not happy. We only chat on a chat site cos he lives about 2000 km away but he comes to visit me every holiday. He is really sweet but when we apart...
A. 14 December 2007: In regards to your reply.. i want you to really understand that gifts are not meant to hold you to an unhappy relationship. If people stood because of the gifts they received then no one would ever break up. And the fact that he is spending the ... (read in full...)
Sexual texts and secret meetings but he said they did nothing.
Q. Hi, I'm glad i found this site as ive got no one else to talk to. About a month ago my fiance of nearly 4 years an who i have 2 kids with got a new job and started sneaking around and was guarding his phone. It went on for weeks so i looked at h...
A. 13 December 2007: okie...though there are kids involved and a strong past between you too, here is something i think is being overlooked... What happens when you tie the knot..and this continues? and you have a past with children...get my point? This situation needs ... (read in full...)
I don't think he trusts me anymore after he broke off our LDR.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and as things may seem great to others. I'm not happy. We only chat on a chat site cos he lives about 2000 km away but he comes to visit me every holiday. He is really sweet but when we apart...
A. 13 December 2007: This doesnt seem like much of a relationship, you guys dont see each other, he doesnt trust you and your not happy. My question to you is what is keeping you here? If your response to this question is that you would miss him or are comfortable with ... (read in full...)
Do you think what I did was cheating?
Q. I have been married for 14 years and a year ago my best friend and I had too much to drink and we kissed for less then 2 minutes(female). I told my husband yesterday and he said I cheated so it's over. Do you think that is cheating?...
A. 26 September 2007: Well everyone has their own definition of cheating and what it consists of. Some men wouldnt consider that cheating...others (like your husband) do. I personally, dont feel that you cheated in a way that would cause a divorce. The fact that he said ... (read in full...)
I need to end a relationship but how do I do that without the rest of the semester being horrible?
Q. I've come to the point in a relationship where something feels... off. I can't shake off this feeling and I think I need to end the relationship. I have a class with him though, and I don't know how to break it to him without the rest of the ...
A. 19 September 2007: There is no easy way to break it off. If you feel things arent right you need to stop it now before you get any deeper into this relationship which will only make it harder to end. Honestly, if YOUR not happy then who cares what class hes in, where ... (read in full...)
I need help to stop feeling jealous! What can I do???
Q. help im a 20yr old female, iv always been cheated on in my relationships, and now i have a boyfriend of 1yr and i jus cannot trust him! i never accuse him, i just have the thought in my head he's cheated. we see each other everyday but when he does...
A. 18 September 2007: First off stop being so hard on yourself. You have a history of dealing with bad men! Its unfortunate, but it happens. I must commend you on being able to continue persuing relationships and taking the risk and also for keeping your thoughts to ... (read in full...)
She laughed of my body as we were getting intimate. What should I do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend were "getting in the mood", but when I dropped my pants she laughed and said I was small. What should I do?...
A. 16 September 2007: Sometimes when a person is nervous they say and do things out of nerves. She could have been nervous about being intimate with you and to break the intensitiy of the situation she said what she said. For example when people go to a funeral and laugh ... (read in full...)
We broke up and she's been ignoring me. What to say to make her at least talk to me?
Q. I recently lost my virginity to a girl and we were in love, but she moved and things went to hell when she moved, but she broke up with me and i still love her and want to spend the rest of my life with her, but she has been ignoring me for the past ...
A. 16 September 2007: There is nothing specific to say that will MAKE her talk with you. I think right now you both just need time. I know that you have unfinished business with her and that you want closure on all this but at this time she wont allow that. I know it ... (read in full...)
He shows no care when we make love, doesn't react when I'm mistreated, why is he like this? Please advise.
Q. I have been with my partner for just over a year and even though i have asked to meet his friends,i never have, he only visits them if we have an arguement,he has also lied to me a lot. Last year he slept at his ex partners sister,when we had ...
A. 16 September 2007: Take a step back for a minute...Look at all you just wrote. What does his actions say to you?....Honestly to me it tells me that this man just doesnt care! Do you want to be with a man like that? When your in a relationship the one things that a man ... (read in full...)
Should I chuck him or keep holding on and waiting for some miracle to occur?
Q. I'm 16 years old and have had the same boyfriend for about 1 year and a half. At first it was really lovely, and then it just went sour. We have our good days, but when it gets bad, like some stupid argument over who buys what, we shout and scream ...
A. 10 September 2007: The best question i can throw out there for you to get to the bottom of this is...is it worth working things out?
First off know that every relationship has its good and bad days. There is fighting, yelling, and unfortunately name calling ... (read in full...)
Am I being suspicious for nothing?
Q. Hi. I've not been the greatest wife in the world. We have had stressors way beyond the norm and I have been the primary money earner throughout those times. I escaped from personal problems by throwing myself into my work and by drinking when I was ...
A. 5 September 2007: I dont thing you are being too suspicious at all. You realized right away that something was fishy when he brought up an affair. Now what is the next step?....First of let me start by asking you, Do you think if he did have an affair will he e... (read in full...)
My older girlfriends daughter is worried I'm only using her mum for sex, even though we haven't even had sex yet!
Q. I am a 34 year old male and am dating a 41 year old woman for two weeks now everything is going great between us. we have not had sex yet as i am prepared to wait till she is ready, but the problem is she has a 21 year old daughter who is worried ...
A. 5 September 2007: Well obviously this situation had to happen to this girls mother once before. I assume this because if you are only dating each other for 2 weeks thats rather soon for someone to judge anothers persons intent. It seems as if you really like this... (read in full...)
I'm 12 and want to have sex! I'm scared but I want to. Should I???
Q. i am 12 i want to have sex with my boyfriend. what should i do? i am so scarde but i want to, so should i have sex with him ...
A. 5 September 2007: My question to you is WHY do you really want to have sex? Answer that question. Look, when i was younger i hated when older people used to tell me I am too young. But the reality right now is that you are too young to have sex. You have your entire ... (read in full...)
I either feel nothing, or pain during sex. This hasn't happened with other guys. Do i have a problem?
Q. I've had sex about fifteen times. With several different partners. I am seventeen and now have a boyfriend who i have sex with regularly. His size is not a problem, he's not massive but not miniscule either, quite perfect. He can get me to orgasm ...
A. 28 August 2007: Have you ever orgasmed during sex? If you havent that is normal 60% of women dont. However, the pain part could be a few things, your either tense when you have sex with him, your not having enough lubercation, or you can have an infection and when ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to not be able to orgasm with penetration only?
Q. I have been married a month but have known my husband for 2 years. I cant orgasm with penetration on when he fingers me, is this normal? I have always assumed it is but then he gets upset with me and says its because all i want him to do is finger ...
A. 28 August 2007: That is COMPLETELY normal...i want you to know that most woman can not orgasm by having sex...60% of women can not orgasm through sex. So do whatever works for you. However, keep trying. One major reason why women cant orgasm through intercourse is ... (read in full...)
I have been with a married man for 6 years, am I wasting my time?
Q. Hi I have been in a relationship with a married man for six years now. He and his wife were having probs when we met. Eventually he told her about us and she moved out of the house. After a year though she has now moved back in as the kids live...
A. 28 August 2007: Wow six years, that is a long time to be with someone who is not committed to you. Think about it, the wife moved back in...thats a HUGE RED flag that they must be working on things in order for her to move back with her cheating husband...wouldn't ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me when he was drunk, what should I do?
Q. I am in love with this guy and as you can see from previous posts things have been rocky at best but i am in love with him. Recently i have gotton very close to his family and i thought that things were going very well...we are just dating not going ...
A. 25 August 2007: RED flag being waved all over! Girl you gotta let this guy go. I know it is sooooo hard to do, but you have to have some self worth. Think about it what is actually going good for you two right now? You cant committ cause you are both off to ... (read in full...)
We broke up, but I'm still bothered by him seeing other girls
Q. Lived with longtime boyfriend of 6 yrs, Moved out because he did not want to take the next step, he has committment issues (at 45 yrs of age) also he wants to date other woman. But he still continues to text, email, calls to ask me out to dinner...
A. 25 August 2007: He is bothering you because he shared something with you! And for a man of his age who has committment issues you were as serious as he allowed himself to get. Even guys with the same issues as him do have a little heart and know when they lost a ... (read in full...)
He's visited masage parlours in the past and paid for sex, now I feel worried about our future!
Q. I'll start off my saying i'm very much in love with my boyfriend. He's a good guy with a lot to offer, one that i can see a future with, so far, still a lot to learn about each other. We've been dating for over year... and conversation cam...
A. 25 August 2007: Well you're not over reacting, that is a big shock! However, you can't make things an issue that happened in the past. We all at some point did things in our past that we regret, aren't proud of and can even be shocking. So don't hold it against ... (read in full...)
Living with clamidia a year, does it affect fertility and is there surgery to remedy it in this case?
Q. Oh i had clamidia for about a year. I finally got it treated and taken care of. See the problem is the std causes infertility. Do you think since i had it for so long it probably took effect on me already? Is there surgery out there to fix it or is ...
A. 25 August 2007: Well any STD that is not treated for a long time can cause infertility. My best advice is go to the gynocologist ASAP. There they can probably do some tests to determine if any damage has been done. ... (read in full...)
I have no desire for sex.
Q. i am 49,male, have no desire for sex, my wife has been patient but for how long. i am not unhappy with my wife, am just happy with everyday life. i do not look elsewhere either. ...
A. 23 August 2007: Well here is what i can address to you and maybe this can bring something to light!
First it could be that you have Sexual dysfunction. There are signs and symptoms to that. If so you would have to see a therapist about it.
However, thou... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts on a 15 year age gap online relationship?
Q. Anyone can tell me their opinion about a 15 yr old age difference relationship i.e 17, 32 (older male) views from the male side are appreciated (even female), and what if the meeting was from internet that started as a joke and then became a serious ...
A. 23 August 2007: The first question I have to ask you is this... What do you think a 32 year old MAN wants with a 17 year old girl?...Next question I have to ask is...What do you think a 17 year old teenage can give to a 32 year old MAN?
Look age CAN be nothing ... (read in full...)
I want so bad to sleep with her, I want to make love to her and tell her that I am in love with her but she's MY WIFE'S SISTER!!!
Q. I have fallen in love with my wife's sister. I love and care for my wife but not the way I feel for her sister. I want so bad to sleep with her, I want to make love to her and tell her that I am in love with her. If she asked me to sleep with her I ...
A. 23 August 2007: Well lets be real here... its not practical at all! It is one thing to fall out of love for your wife and divorce but its another thing to be with her sister. That is double/triple the pain for your wife... You cant be selfish! This is a line you ... (read in full...)
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