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I had a dream that my much older boyfriend is gay. Should I be concerned?

Tagged as: Age differences, Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2016) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2016)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hello,

I had a dream a couple of nights ago that my boyfriend of a year had a homosexual affair. what happened was, in my dream I visited a lad who was in my year at school whom now works at my place of work. my boyfriend arrived at the house and I hid under the lads bed. They then proceeded with an affair where I ran out shouting 'What the hell?' I then woke up.

He shows no signs at all of being gay and he is very manly and straight. Not questionable straight though. He is 38 and has had a lot of straight relationships and loves women over all and has even had a child with his ex girlfriend. I am 16 years his junior and I am worrying about this subconsciously, although I am not actually worried about it in real. it just keeps bothering me. It's probably important to mention that when I had this dream I was very ill and am suffering with a bad virus at the moment including it bothering my sleep.

What do you think?

Thank you

View related questions: affair, ex girlfriend, his ex

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A female reader, boo22 United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2016):

boo22 agony auntHi

The only person that can decide whether your dream was your subconscious mind telling you something or not is you.

All sorts of crap comes out in my dreams but every so often I will dream something and I know it has meaning.

Why is it bothering you so much? x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2016):

Dreams mean nothing. They are often triggered or influenced by our anxieties, insecurities, daily experiences; or just an over-active imagination.

Being half Native-American, I've been taught by the more traditional side of my family that dreams foretell the future, remind us of the past, and warn us of oncoming tragedies or our destiny. That's spiritualism at its best; but paranoia can turn everything into a sign of oncoming doom.

I think you really need to get your head out of such nonsense; before you create a problem you can't reverse.

Dreams are created in the imagination. Only have basis in reality when factual incidents you have experienced or witnessed are replayed as flashbacks due to trauma or crisis. You may also fixate on wonderful events in your life; and they may revisit as a pleasurable dream. But they still remain in the realm of fantasy. Nothing more.

How would you like him feeling suspicious of you, based on a dream you were a lesbian or a cheat?

Please keep your feet firmly planted in reality.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (15 February 2016):

Tisha-1 agony aunt[FWIW, I know many manly gay men. Not sure what that means, exactly. They are physically fit, on the top at their careers, look great and lead healthy happy lives. They travel, compete in sport and have lots of friends, gay and straight.]

Maybe the dream is pointing out to you that the age gap is bothering you on some level. Or maybe you had or now have a crush on the "lad" who is now your co-worker?

Maybe you were in the fact the lad and the person hiding under the bed was someone who disapproves of the year-old relationship?

Or maybe you were so dehydrated and very ill that you just had a jumble of nonsense going on in your dreams and you happened to wake up and remember this little snippet?

Hydrate and be sure to practice good hygiene so you don't pass on or contract another virus again!

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (15 February 2016):

aunt honesty agony auntI think that this was just a dream that you had, or if you would like to call it a nightmare. Our minds like to play tricks on us, especially when we are ill as we probably are feverish. It is nothing at all to worry about, you can even share it with your boyfriend and laugh it off.

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