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Is it unreasonable to ask my b/f to give a week's notice when he has the kids?

Q.   I would be grateful for some ideas and practical solutions from people who understand what I’m talking about or experience it themselves. Before I start: I know the kids of the partner by ex come first, that’s a given. The problem is this: My boyf...

A.   3 October 2011: It is NOT too much to ask. I am a single mother, and I recognize the value of a partner who is respectful of what MUST obviously be a priority in my life. I presume your boyfriend does as well. His work and children create disorganization ... (read in full...)

Why didn't he fight for me??

Q.   Pleassee help meee I've dated this guy for about a month, i broke up with him because i had a gut feeling he wasnt over his ex so i ended it, the other day i was at a local club he was there with a couple of his friends, and she was there as well,...

A.   22 September 2011: After one month of dating, it sounds like your feelings are a bit more intense for this guy than normal. I don't know how long it's been since you broke up with him. What I do know is that you finally told him why you broke up with him (somethi... (read in full...)

Should I tell him exactly what I think? Or just completely ignore him! Hes hurt me so much! Please help!

Q.   Im after some good honest opinions as im going out of my mind with frustration. I was seeing this guy for 9 months but he treats me like crap. No matter what he does though i still wanna be with him. Im in love with him. He always blows hot and cold ...

A.   21 September 2011: DON'T SEND THE TEXT. You don't need his closure. You simply need to decide for yourself it is over and - POOF! Closure. :-) Imagine if he suddenly died (knock on wood, we don't want that) and you couldn't confront him. Would life be over wit... (read in full...)

Help me to figure him out

Q.   I know women are supposed to be the confusing ones, the ones that dont know what they want, and are hard to read. But this man, i just cant figure out. what exactly does he want from me? ok lets call him Chuck* I started talking to chuck, ab...

A.   21 September 2011: He likes you, but not enough to commit and may never, is what he is saying. When you are around, he is invested in you; he makes you the focus of his evening, but when you are not around, he is his own focus again. That is what he is saying. ... (read in full...)

How do I get my sister to stop being so mean to me?

Q.   I've always been a subject to my mun's insecurities and feel I am still that confident person but I've become sensitive to a lot of her comments. Not to do with appearance but she rubs a lot of things in my face. Highlights mistakes, I feel like I ...

A.   21 September 2011: Do you have friends you can stay with? Other family, like aunts or uncles? Do you work, go to school, read books, visit with friends? What are you doing with your life? Do you believe in God? Where is your Dad? A little more information... (read in full...)

He'd rather believe the rumours than me

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together.for 7 months Now and people always make up rumors about me And tell him lies, and no matter what I say or do He believes them not me. And this time someone told him I cheated on him and he refuses to belive ...

A.   21 September 2011: If I were 16 or 17, and in your shoes, as sad as it is (in the very short term), I would dump him and move on. If he doesn't know you by now or if you have been unable to earn his trust by now, I doubt anything will change. You're young.... (read in full...)

Friends wife exposing herself in window!

Q.   How should i react to this....my friend lives across the strret from me with his wife. Lately she has begun to (vividly blinds wide open) expose herself to me at night in the window. The shower is directly in front of the window. She get's out she ...

A.   20 September 2011: You've already been given the advice of "no", and a few "shame on yous". I suspect you'll do it anyway, so why are you still asking?... (read in full...)

How can I become a more trusting person?

Q.   So short story, I've been screwed over by so many guys so many times that I am constantly suspicious and freaking out. I am in a relationship currently and my boyfriend knew before we started dating about all my baggage. He has been completely ...

A.   20 September 2011: Great! Good luck and thanks for keeping us up to date!... (read in full...)

Will our relationship get better if we have?

Q.   dear cupid. Ive been with this guy well nothing serious. We have been together for about 3 months yet whenever i mention taking things seriously he simply says i like you but im not ready for a relationship we should let things go naturall...

A.   19 September 2011: Having sex with him will not make him like you more; it will make things worse for you. If he doesn't want to be with you in a committed relationship without sex, do not have sex with him. You are young. You too, should not take things too seri... (read in full...)

Have you ever done something against your parents' will?

Q.   Hey there! I am totally dissatisifed with my life (place where I live, job...) and would like to change it. I'd love to move abroad (my bf lives there already) and start a new life there. Problem is my dad went all psycho and angry on me when I told ...

A.   19 September 2011: I started when I was a teenager. Now, I listen to their advice more, but don't always follow it to the letter. At this point, I am well-equipped to weigh things out for myself and decide what is best. Just because you move and try to set up a... (read in full...)

Should I forget about his lies? Why is he insisting on taking other people?

Q.   Hey there, I have a question about a boy. We've known each other for 8 months. He's been giving me signs but didn't make the first step. I was the first to do this. I asked him out- we were wondering where to go and suddenly he offered me to take ...

A.   19 September 2011: What were his lies? It's hard to advise about whether or not to forget them, without knowing anything about them...... (read in full...)

Ex is making me upset, do I tell the new boyfriend?

Q.   This is a really difficult one for me. My ex who was horrible to me (read my previous question to understand) is causing me to feel upset - not because I miss him, care about him or anything like that. But because yet again, I've asked him to col...

A.   19 September 2011: I would tell him, if he asks. Also let him know you can handle it and how you intend to. And, honestly? Stop communicating with the ex, already.... (read in full...)

Am I cheater? Is this really that bad? I need help

Q.   I was in a relationship with the girl of my dreams! She was seriously the most amazing person on this planet and we had so much fun together. I Miss her so much. I would kill for her and die for her in a second. She means the world to me. I wanted ...

A.   19 September 2011: Commitment is not just what we communicate to our partners, but how we communicate to others. Engaging in intimate, sexually-charged conversations with another woman is a breach of trust. The fact that you do not see this as cheating would be a ... (read in full...)

I am confused about dating and don't feel comfortable when a man pays and I am unsure what to do

Q.   I want to know everyone's opinion here because i am freaking out here a bit. To put a small background. Im 25 with a masters and ppl say im this model like doll looking girl that has her life ahead of her; truth is even though i have all these ...

A.   19 September 2011: Lost and empty, in a habit to put others before you and even to 'forget' about yourself in the process is absolutely the WRONG place to date from. That's the easy part - giving yourself time to heal and not dating - you haven't been attracted to ... (read in full...)

Commitment phobic boyfriend

Q.   I have been with my partner now for 12 months on and off (I am 47 and he is 50). We have had some lovely times together but I think he is a commitment phobic. Every few weeks he will start a row with me, usually over nothing, he has a jealous pe...

A.   19 September 2011: Well, you have some thinking to do. Good luck.... (read in full...)

Commitment phobic boyfriend

Q.   I have been with my partner now for 12 months on and off (I am 47 and he is 50). We have had some lovely times together but I think he is a commitment phobic. Every few weeks he will start a row with me, usually over nothing, he has a jealous pe...

A.   16 September 2011: You are spending WAY too much thinking about him, his fears, his needs, his ‘this’ and his ‘that’. Do you actually think he spends this much time thinking about you? Is he the right man for YOU? What if he IS a commitment-phobe... (read in full...)

I've gained 40 lbs since he seen me last. Should I postphone meeting till I lose the weight?

Q.   6 years ago I regretably broke up with the greatest man I have ever been with. He recently found me. My concern is that at the time, when we were together, I was drop dead gorgeous. Since then, I have gained 40 pounds! I am scared to death of what ...

A.   16 September 2011: Like women, every man is different. I suppose I would not like to be involved with a man that this mattered so much to, but if you are concerned, then postpone the 'meet'. You can be sexy 40lbs heavier if you FEEL sexy, but it doesn't sound li... (read in full...)

Why is it okay for boys to be boys but women have to behave?

Q.   Hi all. A quick question. Why is it that most men think they can flirt with many women, think it's their God given right to appreciate many females because they are men, but not accept it if a guy flirts with their wives or girlfriends? I ha...

A.   16 September 2011: It isn't ok. Define for yourself what is 'ok'. If your 'man' is flirty, that gives you permission to enjoy attention, too. If he calls you on it, ask him to point out what is different about your behaviours and his, especially if you are just... (read in full...)

Boyfriend cant control himself, what should I do?

Q.   What should I do about my boyfriend? So I have been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and it has been pretty good. We have good and bad times like any relationship but recently our arguements have upset me. We both have a short temper and...

A.   16 September 2011: I agree with RedAthena that we teach people how to treat us. Do not accept his bad behaviour. Remove yourself from the situation. Work on your own temper as well, as no one deserves it from you, either. You've set a precedent here where you c... (read in full...)

Friendship to Relationship doubts

Q.   Hi I was wondering If you could help me. I lived with two guys this year and was really attracted to one of them. We ended up sleeping together occasionally, but I knew I wanted more. Eventually when it came to moving out of our house, we were going ...

A.   16 September 2011: I don't understand why you are not being affectionate with each other because you are worried about it not working out. It sounds like a self-fulfilling prophesy, don't you think? You start as flat-mates, then friends with benefits, have a couple... (read in full...)

My friend acts like my shadow

Q.   Ok so i have a friend, she is amazing and i love her too bits but she seems to want to do everthing i do, she wants me to wear the same things as i do when we go shopping she wants me to buy everything she does if we're meeting up she wont even walk ...

A.   16 September 2011: Annoying... This happened to me once and my mother told me that "imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." While this is true, it is not comfort. :-S Having said that, your friend has an issue with self-esteem, or a lack there of. She sees... (read in full...)

I deleted this hot girls number and now I regret it! Should I ask for her number again?

Q.   Hi, I need help I made a mistake by deleting the numbers of some hot girl who lives nearby my place.. What happened was when she gave me her numbers that day she was handling her phone call, when I asked who was it she said it was her boyfriend, ...

A.   16 September 2011: I 100% agree with the advice sammi star gave you. There is just WAY TOO MUCH drama-heart-ache-opportunity there! I would add that she will respect you more if she were to find out (ONLY if the opportunity comes up to say it casually) that you... (read in full...)

How can I become a more trusting person?

Q.   So short story, I've been screwed over by so many guys so many times that I am constantly suspicious and freaking out. I am in a relationship currently and my boyfriend knew before we started dating about all my baggage. He has been completely ...

A.   16 September 2011: There is no magical cream or pill that can help you. You just have to let go of your inhibitions. Just keep telling yourself that he doesn't deserve to pay for the failures of others; that he has given you no reason to feel insecure and distract ... (read in full...)

I didn't want to move too fast and now he thinks I'm not interested!

Q.   hey, i am a female and i am a little confused. i went out recently with a young man after two weeks of knowing him. he kissed me on my neck. ears and caressed my thighs and nipples. I don't know want happened but i was wet all over and almost had ...

A.   16 September 2011: I would tell people who try too soon for you that you like to take things slow. However, as you barely know this guy and he is so eager for sex and suggests you let a friend of yours, who is more likely to be sexually active date him, I would du... (read in full...)

Spots on my vagina after shaving?

Q.   i'm not sexually active, but whenever i seem to shave my vagina its all fine then couple of days later i get like spots on my vagina and i dont know what they are or how o get rid of them any ideas?!...

A.   16 September 2011: Red bumps after shaving is normal, and as you will have noted, they go away on their own. There are some creams (antibiotic) that can help reduce them, especially if applied immediately afterwards. They are often caused by ingrown hairs or... (read in full...)

Is my vibrator too intense?

Q.   I am a 59-year-old-widow. Due to an illness my husband and I did not have intercourse for the last 15 years of our marriage (no masterbation during that time . realy need something now) .After my husband's death, a woman in my neighborhood who was ...

A.   16 September 2011: Understand that what works for one woman, won't work for all of them. Get creative. Buy a new vibrator every once in a while to shake things up. Try using the vibrator through clothing - try changing positions… Let your imagination fill you with ... (read in full...)

34 and single: Did I miss my chance to marry?

Q.   I feel like I've missed the marriage boat and I'm starting to panic. I'm going to be 34 years old tomorrow. Objectively, I am good looking; better than average, smart, successful, have a good career, own my own apartment, etc. All my best fri...

A.   16 September 2011: eddie85 and sammi star have given you some good advice. The only thing I would add here are these thoughts: (insert after eddie’s third paragraph cautioning you..) You may not SAY anything that indicates you want to be married, but if you want ... (read in full...)

I am confused about dating and don't feel comfortable when a man pays and I am unsure what to do

Q.   I want to know everyone's opinion here because i am freaking out here a bit. To put a small background. Im 25 with a masters and ppl say im this model like doll looking girl that has her life ahead of her; truth is even though i have all these ...

A.   16 September 2011: “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” The above is an excerpt from a much longer quote, but it is this bit that I think you need to pay attention to. No one can guarantee th... (read in full...)

I didn't want to move too fast and now he thinks I'm not interested!

Q.   hey, i am a female and i am a little confused. i went out recently with a young man after two weeks of knowing him. he kissed me on my neck. ears and caressed my thighs and nipples. I don't know want happened but i was wet all over and almost had ...

A.   16 September 2011: How do you know he thinks you are not interested? I am not challenging you, but the answer is important if I am to help you.... (read in full...)

I don't think he's ever going to comit to me properly and fully

Q.   Im not sure where we are going anymore.I have been with my partner for 18 months now,though i have known him for over 4 years(we were friends for a long time) Our relationship has always been a long distance one,he is currently in kabul i see him ...

A.   16 September 2011: Excellent!... (read in full...)

I have concerns about my son dating a Turkish girl

Q.   I've got two children, a 17-year-old son and a 22-year-old daughter. We went on a family holiday to Turkey last month for 2 weeks, and it was pretty much great - Mediterranean sun, beach, breeze, cool air, etc. However, you normally hear abo...

A.   15 September 2011: I don't know what kind of horrors you've heard about Turkish dating. Maybe I am too far away (in Canada) to have heard these stories, but as I don't know what you fear, and can't help until I do. ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about history repeating itself. Should I tell my partner I feel insecure?

Q.   My ex left me when we were at our prime time in the relationship (marriage). We were buying a house, we both got new jobs, we'd just bought a new car and he threw all that away to go with someone he met at the new job. I've been with my current ...

A.   15 September 2011: If you CAN'T tell your partner of three years, with whom you live and buy property, when you are feeling badly, then you are with the wrong person. Although I strongly recommend that you wait until he is awake enough to give you the reassura... (read in full...)

Friends wife exposing herself in window!

Q.   How should i react to this....my friend lives across the strret from me with his wife. Lately she has begun to (vividly blinds wide open) expose herself to me at night in the window. The shower is directly in front of the window. She get's out she ...

A.   15 September 2011: Really? "Thy shall not covet your neighbour's wife." And if we can't at least agree not to admire our neighbour's nude wife, can we at least muster up enough self-control and decency to not watch and drool over our FRIEND's wife, never mind... (read in full...)

This guy won't commit to me but he doesn't like it when I'm in contact with my ex

Q.   Please read my last two posts, they are all about the same guy. After all of this that I have been through with him, we still manage to continue seeing eachother on and off. I have an apartment now close to his house and he is over at least a few ...

A.   15 September 2011: It's a lot to ask us to hunt down your previous posts, especially given that there is no link provided, but pretend that we will... Of all of the posts you have made, which ones pertain to this guy and which ones are about your ex? ... (read in full...)

Long Distance Relationship or a dragged on Summer fling

Q.   I am a 36 year old woman who met a 30 year old guy in April while we were both out of town on our own respective business. We happened to be staying at a common friend's house. I did not know him before. Sparks flew and we made out of three straight ...

A.   15 September 2011: You know what is going on, but you are in denial. You like him and want to have a relationship. There is nothing wrong with that, but you won’t get it from him. He has enjoyed a casual, but fun fling for so long. Thirty year old men are youn... (read in full...)

How do I stop feeling a tiny bit betrayed about LDR boyfriend's actions?

Q.   Yesterday evening, my LDR boyfriend from on the Continent met up with one of his female friends for a bite to eat and a couple of drinks. For a laugh, they decided to sneak into the place where he works since they weren't too far away and he has a ...

A.   15 September 2011: Many people wouldn't feel comfortable about this, but that doesn't mean you have anything to worry about or that you need to act on it. He was open with you about the incident, and as you do not usually feel jealousy in this relationship, you have ... (read in full...)

Is she after me for rights to live in UK permanently

Q.   Hi, I have a GF now fiancée, I asked her to marry me, however I am now starting to think after what some people said wither she is after me for just rights to live in the UK permanently as most people from country do this, is there any way I can ...

A.   15 September 2011: Some people from her country do it. Some people from her country also do not do it. Two months into a relationship, if someone was telling me they loved me, it would be a red flag. The fact that she didn't say it then is normal. The fact tha... (read in full...)

Does she just want to break up?

Q.   So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...

A.   15 September 2011: Good for you! Even if you decide to forgive her and take her back, you are now aware of the patterns of abuse and will be able to nip them in the bud as they come up. Right now, you are teaching her that if she mistreats you, it is not as easy ... (read in full...)

Does she just want to break up?

Q.   So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...

A.   14 September 2011: Don't lose face (or allow yourself to feel that you have). Walk away from it knowin gyou did all you could and the flowers were a gesture which demonstrate your honest attempts to try with this girl. You have a backbone. You just ignored ... (read in full...)

Should I wait for a response, move on or keep texting him?

Q.   i met this guy, i didn't notice him at first, but after he gave me signals tht he's interested in me, and everybody says so, i'm starting notice him, but he never says a word. until one day he finally asked me some random things, and asked for my ...

A.   14 September 2011: He never initiates contact because he doesn't have to. You always do. I wouldn't initiate contact with you, if I were him. You have set the precedent here. You are the 'pursuer'. It's more fun to be pursued than to be the pursuer. Why would he ... (read in full...)

Does she just want to break up?

Q.   So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...

A.   14 September 2011: Reading this is making me tired. If you could take a step back and separate yourself from your emotions, you would be tired, too. You are over-thinking this. You are in a relationship with someone with a temper and a habit of allowing you to ... (read in full...)

Does she just want to break up?

Q.   So once again I'm in trouble with girlfriend. We made plans to go for dinner on Friday. She texted me at 545 when I wanted her to drop by. I texted 615. No response. I text her "???" At 605, still no response. Earlier I told her was hungry. So a...

A.   13 September 2011: Umm... In order to help, I need to know if you omitted the details that indicate where you are a jerk, or are you just so accustomed to taking the blame when she over-reacts that you think you are a jerk, when you aren't?... (read in full...)

Should I wait for a response, move on or keep texting him?

Q.   i met this guy, i didn't notice him at first, but after he gave me signals tht he's interested in me, and everybody says so, i'm starting notice him, but he never says a word. until one day he finally asked me some random things, and asked for my ...

A.   13 September 2011: You should stop texting him. Shy or not, he would have responded if he was interested. Disregarding your initial text was not a symptom of shyness. It was a rude signal that he is not intersted. He's in another country now, anyway. What do ... (read in full...)

I don't think he's ever going to comit to me properly and fully

Q.   Im not sure where we are going anymore.I have been with my partner for 18 months now,though i have known him for over 4 years(we were friends for a long time) Our relationship has always been a long distance one,he is currently in kabul i see him ...

A.   8 September 2011: You are welcome, mrsboosh. :-) If you two are truly soulmates, then maybe time is all that is needed. If he is married still (or a divorce is not yet finalized), and you've been seeing each other only 18 months, it might be he is happy to have ... (read in full...)

I don't think he's ever going to comit to me properly and fully

Q.   Im not sure where we are going anymore.I have been with my partner for 18 months now,though i have known him for over 4 years(we were friends for a long time) Our relationship has always been a long distance one,he is currently in kabul i see him ...

A.   7 September 2011: Hmmm... ordinarily I would suggest a conversation with him, but you have already said you won't ask him about his feelings because it is not a subject you like to talk about. Since they have yet to invent a magic eight ball that actually works, we ... (read in full...)

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