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*indy303 agony aunt


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Hello, My name is Cindy, I live on the East Coast, USA, I am 34 years old and have a 10 year old daughter. I work for a surgeons office here in Virginia.

I have recently found this site and was amazed at the thousands of questions and responses and advice coming from all over this world. I only use my own personal experiences with some common sense and a lot of TLC when responding to the people on this website.

I love to read and listen to music. I enjoy going to baseball games, and watching college basketball. Spending time with my daughter, who seems to be growing up too fast. I enjoy cooking and my favourite household chore is laundry!

I hope you stop by and say hello.

123Next > [3 pages, 61 answers]

My sister's marrying her BF next year and the family are very uncomfortable with this - he has a record!!

Q.   Hi, I have a problem, I live with my girlfriend and my family and I'm worried about my sister - she's 18 and her boyfriend is 34. I already think this is a bit wrong but the thing is he's just got out of prison after being there for three months. ...

A.   16 April 2008: This seems like a pretty serious situation. How long has your sister known this man? I dont believe that he is meeting young girls on the net to just "be nice to them". That seems a little off to me. I would sit your sister down with this ... (read in full...)

When's the right time to tell her I have a child?

Q.   I met a really nice girl about 3 weeks ago and we have been out on one date that went really well, i'm 32 and she is 25. Since then we have been texting each other alot and we are arranging to go out again real soon. I really do like this girl alot...

A.   16 April 2008: Take it from a single mom here, hiding the child wont help anything. I think you need to step up to the plate and lay it out there for her. If she really likes you she will accept you and all you have to offer, including what I am sure is an ... (read in full...)

I don't trust the pregnancy tests...!

Q.   I had sex for the first time on 2/25. It was unprotected, although I had been on the pill for a week and he withdrew. I took the morning after pill within 7 hours. I had my period on time two weeks later. It was really heavy and then my next period ...

A.   15 April 2008: You need to relax and stop being worried. I cant believe your pregnant. You had your period on time and another once since. If all four tests came up negative, chances are they are correct. Just relax and stop the worry. All the best, Cindy... (read in full...)

Teacher student relationship goes terribly wrong Warning!!!

Q.   What do I do?I'm going through a serious case about my teacher and I.First off we were dating.I'm 16 and he is 37.I knew it was wrong from the begining but because of having to see him daily and having him being flirty i gave in to him.There were ...

A.   15 April 2008: I am looking at your age, and remembering what it was like for me at 16. Looking at the male teachers I had, and there were a few cute ones, but that is just what young girls tend to think sometimes. This teacher is a grown, married man and YOUR ... (read in full...)

Is it normal for female parts to swell when aroused?

Q.   whenever i hve sex or when my boyfriend stimulates me, the lips of my vagina an clitorus kind of...swell Up soo to speak.. like really big tho is this normal or is there something wtong with me?...

A.   6 April 2008:  When a girl is not excited and the inner lips are drawn apart the clitoris is in most cases is visible. When she gets excited the clitoral shaft increases in size, the clitoris becomes engorged with blood and the inner lips become bigger. Before ... (read in full...)

I know what I did is bad. but am I wrong for thinking this is something she should be able to get over?

Q.   i have been dating a woman for 1.5 years. in the beginning of our relationship i was not the perfect guy (sometimes running around with friends seemed more important.) we got past all that shortly after she made me aware that she would not tolerate ...

A.   6 April 2008: Russell, First off, I am sorry that you have lost the woman tha tyou seemed to love alot. You loved her so much that you allowed her to tell you that you could not be running with your friends because she would not tollerate that bahaviou... (read in full...)

She can't say the "L" word!

Q.   I am with a woman who can't say the L-word. We have been together a year and a half and I feel like the woman. I say "I love you" and I get silence...she cant say it and tells me anytime she ever said it in her life everything went wrong---but i ...

A.   6 April 2008: Just because she cant say it doesn't mean she doesn't love you. Saying those three big words can be hard on someone. She is just looking at her past, everytime she says it something bad happens. She is trying to protect herself by not saying ... (read in full...)

He was drunk and said he never wants to speak to me again... sober, he said he can't remember.

Q.   Last night me, my boyfriend and quite a few friends were out in town. All of us extremely drunk. At the end of the night my boyfriend told me to leave him alone and he never wants to speak to me or see me ever again, I don't know why because I ...

A.   6 April 2008: People say and do things when they have been drinking that they dont remember and that they dont mean. I know I am guilty of this myself. If your boyfriend is fine with things today and says he doesn't remember then dont stress about it. After ... (read in full...)

How should he tell his mum he has a girlfriend?

Q.   17 year old guy meets 17 year old girl etc. they take it slow at the start and then after seeing each other for a month, make it formal and go into a relationship. this is the first relationship the guy has been in, how does he tell his mum he has a ...

A.   6 April 2008: Breaking the news to your parents that your seeing somebody when you think their reaction may be negative is so hard to do. If you both are mature enough to start dating then show your parents you are able to do this without blowing exams and by ... (read in full...)

What do I say or do to convince him to stay with me?

Q.   earlier today i rang my boyfriend and he told me he dosent want to carry on seeing me for the moment i begged him and pleeded him not to end it he said he would ring me back later on today i dont want things to end between us because i love him so ...

A.   6 April 2008: There is nothing you can say or do to convince a guy to stay with you. First rule of thumb.....NEVER beg a guy to call you,talk to you, stay with you, etc. NEVER! That is something you will learn as you grow older. Your boyfriend wants to break ... (read in full...)

I don't know if I'm pregnant or not...

Q.   Hi. I don't know if I am pregnant or not, but I came off my peroid on Friday, but I had sex for the first time that night I looked in my knickers there were some brown stuff, but normally I have that anyway, I dont know if I am pregnant or not, ...

A.   6 April 2008: Love, I see your age and that just worries me so. I have a daughter who is nearly 11 and I cant imagine her thinking about having sex at such a young age. Please understand that you can get pregnant at your age. You need to use protection and ... (read in full...)

Met him on a marriage site, now he wants to marry me but I've never met him.

Q.   hello I am a woman 29 years of age. I met this man on a marriage site we live in 2 different countries we chatted, sent pictures, talk on the phone, I talked to his family. And we found that we have many things in common the problem is that ...

A.   6 April 2008: You are 29 and I want you to think for a minute about what your asking. Marriage is a very serious step in life for people who have been dating and together for years. Your parents are so right and I hope you listen to what they are saying and you ... (read in full...)

Will we leave a tell-tale mess in the hotel sheets?

Q.   me and my girlfriend are ready to start having sex but we don't have any privacy . we've decided to go to a hotel next w/end so we can start to know our bodies and learn what to do. I'll wear a condom but we're wondering if there'll be any mess...

A.   6 April 2008: The one thing about a hotel room is that when you leave, you wont see the people that are cleaning the room. It is possible that there could be something left on the sheets, with our without a condom. If you notice something there, just strip the ... (read in full...)

In Love with my ex, we are both married now, both have kids, we are talking again, what do I do?

Q.   I need some help. My ex-boyfriend and I dated for a year and a half and I broke up with him 12 years ago and A LOT was left unresolved and we were both devastated, he was A MESS. I never, ever meant to hurt him but I was 20 years old and confused. I ...

A.   6 April 2008: your story is one that sounds all to familar to my own. Please feel free to email me privatly and we can talk if you wish. I know what your going through and I wish you all the best trying to see your way through this. Cindy... (read in full...)

He tells me hes not cheating because the thought of me leaving him has changed him, but has it?

Q.   i am at my wits end i have been with my husband for 19 years .He has always been a bit of a flirt but has taken to more than that with two people who were meant to be my friends. 6 months ago i found out he had been spending time with a friend of ...

A.   5 April 2008: The heartache and pain that you feel when you find out such a secret can be the end of everything as you ever knew it in your marriage. The fact your husband is going on singles sites and chats shows he has interest in other women, and not just ... (read in full...)

Can you be 12 weeks pregnant on not realize it?

Q.   can you be 11-12 weeks pregnant without actually realising? I have been feeling out of sorts lately, tiredness, being uncomfortable at night, very slight nausea etc. This past week when i put my hands in my jacket pockets n feel my belly it doesn't ...

A.   5 April 2008: I was nearly 8 weeks pregnant before I knew it. I even took three over the counter pregnancy tests and they all came out negative. Even though I missed my period twice, I still had no idea. I ended up at the hospital with slight pains and they did ... (read in full...)

Is there any way to be in a relationship with your teacher without any problems?

Q.   Okay lets say you love your teacher and then you find out he loves you back....cant there be someway for the two to be together with out any problems??...

A.   5 April 2008: Looking at your age, not even 18 yet I dont see that anything can or should happen with your teacher. You should not be even thinking about getting involved in such a situation. He will end up with no job once this is all over. I would stay clear ... (read in full...)

I had an affair and I love him.

Q.   Last year i had an affair with a married man and too this day i am still in love with him. i have never been able to get over him and i know for a fact he loved me aswell. I have decided to write him a letter but as if its wrote to his wife. SO he ...

A.   5 April 2008: This man loves you so much that he has been in contact with you how many times since he ended the affair? He loves you so much that he is still married to his wife, he loves you so much that he never ended his marriage and went with you. I think ... (read in full...)

I'm being sexually harassed by an online stalker!

Q.   Help! Please. I'm fourteen years old, and I'm being sexually harassed by someone over the internet. I've blocked the person from my contacts list and everything, but he always finds a way. He knows every single website I go on and sends me naked ...

A.   5 April 2008: Best of luck with this. I think by contacting the authorities you are doing the right thing. Your uncles friend is a sick man and needs to be stopped. All the best, Cindy... (read in full...)

Why am I seeing so many underage people asking for advice about sex?....

Q.   Why am i seeing so many underage people asking for advice about sex? they not have responsible parents anymore?....I know there is a lot more pressure to perform nowadays, unlike when i was a teenager, but it still dosent explain it to me, do ...

A.   4 April 2008: The questions I read from the younger generation here scare me so much because my daughter is almost 11 and some of these young ones are just a few years older then her. I hate to think what I dont know about her life. I try so hard to keep an eye ... (read in full...)

My relationship is an emotional roller coaster...he keeps yelling at me!

Q.   So me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost a year. At first everything was great and he was so sweet and always there for me. Now he yells all the time and tells me what I'm suppose to do and I better do it. He dont want me to talk to anyone ...

A.   4 April 2008: My dear its time to get rid of this man. He is abusing you verbally and one of these days that angry yelling will turn to a fist in the jaw. This man has issues and he needs help. You need to get out now with your little girl before he turns ... (read in full...)

How could he fancy me, when everyone says I'm ugly?

Q.   in the past ive been told by most people that im ugly and i believe them. ive got a horrible face, a huge nose, horrible eyebrows n im fat too. but now there is 1 lad (who is a lil older than me) who texts me a lot and tells me he thinks im gorgeous ...

A.   4 April 2008: Your post made a tear come to my eye. I know how you feel. When I was in high school I was nothing special. I never dated and never really had any guy tell me he liked me. I never even got asked out to the prom!!!!! I learned as I got older that ... (read in full...)

How can I trace my father?

Q.   I was born in 1977 and my father never acknowledged me. I was adopted by who I call my real father when I was 2. My mother wont give anything away but iv had my gran tell me his name and where he was from at the time. I dont know what to do...

A.   4 April 2008: Being the single mother of a daughter who is nearly 11, I had made the choice to walk away from her father when I found out I was pregnant due to some difficult issues in his life. My daughters father knew she had been born, but respected my wishes ... (read in full...)

Is my husband have still having a relationship with his old gf?

Q.   how to find out that my husband is still have relation with his own old girlfriend. just today i find my husband private e-mail id and i tryed some of his passwords and luckly i got it right but when i opened his mail id i find that still he is ...

A.   4 April 2008: I have to go with alot of what Music Man is saying here. It sounds like things are starting to happen with the old girlfriend, but you do run the risk of being wrong. If you think your husband is cheating on you, then sit down adn have a face to ... (read in full...)

I'm being sexually harassed by an online stalker!

Q.   Help! Please. I'm fourteen years old, and I'm being sexually harassed by someone over the internet. I've blocked the person from my contacts list and everything, but he always finds a way. He knows every single website I go on and sends me naked ...

A.   4 April 2008: What this man is doing is very wrong. You are a young girl and what is happening to you needs to be stopped. Do you know this person? Did you just meet online? This sort of story scares me so much because my daughter is nearly 11 and uses the ... (read in full...)

I'm a virgin and about to get married..honeymoon tips wanted!

Q.   I'm twenty and still a VIRGIN ALL THE WAY. i have never even kissed a boy and about to get married in a few short months to a man who is also a virgin and has also never "bin there done that" I'm pretty sure the only sexual action we have both ...

A.   4 April 2008: Many congratulations for the wonderful event your about to take part in. Getting married is so beautiful and I hope you both have a wonderful and full life together. Making love for the first time can be a scary thing, especially if your worried ... (read in full...)

How can I tell if my 2yr old niece was molested?

Q.   I really need help... My 2 year old niece plays with her vaginal area.. She will also take small things and put them inside of her vagina. When I catch her I yell at her and tell her that it is not a good thing to do that. Why is she doing this? Is ...

A.   4 April 2008: What you are suggesting here is very very serious. I work in the medical field and used to work only in Peds for a good portion of that time. We sadly did see several patients who were molested. Children are curious about alot of things with their ... (read in full...)

Should my boyfriend pay rent when the mortgage is in my name?

Q.   My boyfriend of 2 years will be moving in with me soon and I'm not sure if he should pay 'rent' because the mortgage in my name only. I don't like the idea of him paying 'rent' but it would be nice it he contributed some. Is that fair? I'm not ...

A.   4 April 2008: What man would move into his girlfriends house and not pay anything?????? It doesnt matter if you make more money then him or if you are more wealthy. This is 2008 and for myself, living outside Washington DC in one of the most expensive counties ... (read in full...)

Is it possible he's done with his wife this time? Will his kids ever like me?

Q.   I've been having an affair with a married man for the past 7 years. Since this time, he's been seperated from his wife 6 times but, he always takes her back. They were together for 19 years. His wife also having an affair with another man for the ...

A.   4 April 2008: Life is never a promise. Nothing is a sure thing. You have spent the last seven years of your life being in love with a man who cant seem to make his mind up about what he wants. He and his wife have both been a part of the deciet and lies. If he ... (read in full...)

Married and confused...

Q.   I am a married women of 10 years and never found my self interested in another man. I have now started to see one of my best friends that is no longer with his wife which is also my best friend I know this is wrong that I am seeing him but I love ...

A.   4 April 2008: Your situation is a very difficult one. I know you came here looking for some advice. If you have strayed off the road of your marriage you need to figure out why. Are you not in love with him anymore? Do you feel like you dont want to be ... (read in full...)

He denied having joined a dating site during our break, though I know he has, which makes me insecure!

Q.   hi. i read my bofys emails and found out that when we had an argument and split up for a few days, a couple of weeks ago, he joined an internet dating site. I dont think he has had any contact with any girls on the site since joining but it has ...

A.   4 April 2008: This is interesting to me. Your first sentence is "I read my bofys emails". Then you go on a few setences later to say "I felt that we had sorted things and that I really trusted him.....". You read his personal and private emails while you had ... (read in full...)

I gotta boyfriend but I love to flirt! is that bad???

Q.   I gotta boyfriend but I love to flirt! is that bad???...

A.   4 April 2008: We all do it! Guys and girls alike. You just have to be careful that some of your actions are not being taken the wrong way. We all do this dance. Your so young. Enjoy yourself. A flirt. I love it!... (read in full...)

How do I give a blow job without gagging?

Q.   i turned 16 in december and my boyfriend turns 16 in june. we would have been have sex for a year June 15 this year. for his birth day we will be at band camp together and he has been asking if we could do something for his birthday and when i asked ...

A.   4 April 2008: You dont have to put the entire thing in your mouth. Just take it slow and relax while you do this. It never comes easy the first time, but as you get comfortable and see what he likes and does not like you will find that you both enjoy it. Good ... (read in full...)

Do I go back to him because it is easier, and I do love him and miss him very much, or do I tough it out and move on?

Q.   I split from my husband 8 months ago, we have a 10 month old baby and a 3 yo. I found out he had been sleeping with prostitutes the whole time we were married (4 years) I caught an infection from him and had a miscarriage in between our 2 kids that ...

A.   4 April 2008: I understand the financial struggle that you are in. I raise my daughter alone and always have. Its not easy in this day and age. I cant imagine what its like with several children. Your husband is a liar and a cheater. You caught an infection ... (read in full...)

We've had no sex since his test, why?

Q.   Hi Help- met a gorgeous man instant attraction for both, I am 10 years older than him, sex the first week every night, then he had to go for a test, then he said he had to heal from the test, and then no sex, sleeping together, hugging each other, h...

A.   2 April 2008: What type of test did he have? Do you know. Why would you think he is bisexual? Its an interesting comment you made and was not sure if he had gave you ideas that he may be. How long have you been seeing him? There are alot questions that come ... (read in full...)

Does he want to marry me or not?!

Q.   The guy I've been involved with off and on for 5 years, we are now living together again, asked me to marry him Jan 1st. Then cause his credit is bad, has me get the jewelry card but he would make the payments, gets two rings, engagement and ...

A.   2 April 2008: Hello, I am not sure what the problem is. Your fiancee proposed to you on the first new day of the year. I personally see alot of symbolism with this. Something great to start the new year off with. New plans, it sounds like he had it all plan... (read in full...)

Am I being used to feed his habit?

Q.   I have starting seeing a man who i have become very fond of, From the beginning he himself, and his sister-in-law have said be careful, i was gonna get hurt, however it seems, or i thought - they were wrong, he speaks on msn to me every day or texts ...

A.   2 April 2008: I dont see that your doing yourself or him any good by giving him money or thinking that he only does drugs a few times a week. It sounds like your making excuses for what you already know deep insidey you. If he is using drugs on a daily basis, ... (read in full...)

Please help me sort my boyfriend out!

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been dating this guy for almost three years. He is sweet and good hearted and I love being around him. However, in the beginning I was able to overlook problems that are now a huge concern for me. First, my boyfriend is ve...

A.   2 April 2008: Hello, You seem to have your hands full. I think its a good idea to offer to help your boyfriend with his finances. Even though he should be old enough to do this on his own, he lacks the responsibility to do so. If you are thinking long term... (read in full...)

Now, I think I want my ex back!

Q.   I am pretty sure that I will be leaving my live-in. We have been together off and on for five years. Me bending over backwards, finally giving in. We have never done 'couple activities', besides going out to eat 7 times in those years. Ho...

A.   2 April 2008: What is the overall picture here that your missing? This man and you are better off not together. Why are you the only one working in this relationship? You bending over backwards and giving in?!?! Not having any sort of relationship, going out ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants sex but I'm only 12!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been going out for three months but his sister says he says he wants sex. The problem is i'm only 12! I just turned 12 this month and he's turning 13 in April we love each other so much that i don't know what to do, so i ...

A.   2 April 2008: My dear, I see your age and I am telling you as much as you dont want to hear this answer, I am telling you not to do it. You will regret it. You are so young. Just 2 years younger then my daughter. I cant imagine her having to make this choice ... (read in full...)

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