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Why do we have to watch porn every single night?

Q.   Unique porn problem ~ married very sexually active and outgoing have or will try anything at least once. My husband has always liked porn when we were younger it bothered me but, I have 5brothers and I know what boys do :) - but, now the porn is ...

A.   4 September 2009: You should read some of the letters we get here. If the husband even thinks about viewing porn the wife or partner goes into a state of moral shock. So I think you are very permissive in your approach. Your husband is lucky. He needs to know that... (read in full...)

My mom caught us having sex after I told her nothing was going on between us! I'm hiding at a friend's house... help!

Q.   PLEASE HELP!!! I am 17 yrs old and my mom just walked in on me having sex with my neighbour, he is 28. She has asked em if anythig was going on between the two of us for the last few weeks and I said no and when I went over today she waited a...

A.   4 September 2009: Is 17 underage in Canada? If it is, your boyfriend is in a whole heap of trouble. If not, ( 16 is the legal age in Australia ) then you might be best waiting for them to calm down . I'm sure your neighbour has already copped it from them. The... (read in full...)

Is his cannabis really any worse than me having the occasional fag socially on a night out?

Q.   Hi - really just looking for some opinions and advice. I've recently got back with my high school sweetheart after 5 years apart and everythin is gonig really well, however I've recently learned that he smoke cannais maybe once every one to two ...

A.   4 September 2009: The only real difference is that Cannabis is illegal, but that also depends where you live, here in Australia it is largely decriminalised. I often find the worse people to offer advice are those who have no idea of the effects of cannabis. And ... (read in full...)

What's the big deal about race?

Q.   I don't understand what the big deal about race is. I've been in an interracial relationship for nearly 3 years and my fiances family and friends seem to focus a lot on me being white. His family is latino and were born in mexico and his friends are ...

A.   3 September 2009: Hi, racism rears its ugly head in all forms. People seem to forget that racism affects all races and is not just limited to the traditional racism we are used to in modern western countries - where it is predominatly anti-immigrant. Not much you... (read in full...)

Early in relationship shes saying she wants to settle down

Q.   This is the whole story of my last 2 months: It was a girl I knew since high school, but we never kept in touch, and now a couple months back, I met her again for the first time. After the first meeting, we really clicked and our conversations we...

A.   3 September 2009: Sorry mate, she very may well be thinking on the lines of a long term partnership and this lead her to the decision to call it off. But realistically if it was as rosy as you suggested I think its unusual for her to pull out the "we don't have a l... (read in full...)

He said "he's available but not reliable"

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been dating this guy for almost two months- He has been really great, affectionate (says great things like: "you are my dream girl- everything about you is great!" - siting all characteristics about me he loves- physical and i...

A.   3 September 2009: Good on you mate. ... (read in full...)

He's asking me to try things in the bedroom I'm not completely comfortable with.

Q.   My husband's attitude towards sex has changed a lot in the last few months, it's not like his sex drive has shot up, that's stayed the same, it's rather what he wants to do to me sexually that's worrying. He's asked me to dress up like a fireman, ...

A.   3 September 2009: Hi, different strokes for different folks I guess. But as you are not into this I fear for your future. It is very unusual these requests, and he is kidding himself if he thinks you are not going to question his sexuality because of it. From my p... (read in full...)

Wasting my time and he isn't that interested?

Q.   I have been dating a great man for a for a few months now and just recently, a friend of mine mentioned that he was back on the dating website we meet on and he is active. My friend had signed up when I told her how wonderful it was meeting him, she ...

A.   3 September 2009: Hi, the only reason I can think that you are not giving this guy the heave ho straight away is you lack self confidence. Surely these are warning signs enough, he is obviously a player and you are one of many conquests. Everything you have sai... (read in full...)

My wife's new work 'friends' are making inappropriate suggestions

Q.   My wife and I don't have a problem with us, but we're not sure how to handle her new friends. My wife and I got married very young, 1 year after high school. She stayed home and we have 3 kids, now she started going to work to help pay for our...

A.   3 September 2009: Hi, sorry to say but I think you are both overreacting here. It's simple office banter that's all. It is unusual these days for a person in her mid twenties to already have 3 school age children and to have had only one sexual partner. It'... (read in full...)

G/f doesn't like sex!

Q.   My girlfriend of almost a year now has recently told me that she doesn't like sex. She enjoys having orgasms but is never in the mood to have sex. When I pressed her for more information she told me that she thinks instead of having sex we could be ...

A.   3 September 2009: Hi, I think the Aunts can offer all the advice they want on this one, but at the end of the day her previous abuse has affected her behavioural patterns to the extend she is blocking out particular sexual norms. She needs professional counsell... (read in full...)

She texts with the ex and doesn't see it as a problem

Q.   Dear all, My girlfriend and I have been going out for over a year now. Before our relationship, her ex and her met up and slept together a few times, including him cheating on his then girlfriend with my girlfriend. So I had my suspicions at th...

A.   3 September 2009: Hi, normally I would say you are being a bit paranoid. At your ages it's natural to have plenty of friends of the opposite sex. However, this is slightly different, they have a past of cheating with each other on their partners. Naturally you are ... (read in full...)

He said "he's available but not reliable"

Q.   Dear Cupid, I have been dating this guy for almost two months- He has been really great, affectionate (says great things like: "you are my dream girl- everything about you is great!" - siting all characteristics about me he loves- physical and i...

A.   3 September 2009: Hi, I am assuming you meant that he could not maintain an erection? He would be very embarrassed by it, i honestly believe everything he has said since then is a defensive reaction as he is finding it hard to deal with his failure in the bedroom.... (read in full...)

He says its "just sex and nothing more"

Q.   I'm living in a house with 3 guys. I fooled around with one of the guys before i moved in but it cooled off and stopped before i moved in. But within the last month weve been cuddling, and started having sex. Were trying to hide it from the room...

A.   2 September 2009: Could you a defensive reaction against being hurt in the future . However, he may really only be interested in the sex side of things . Only one way to find out is to put it to him, having said that living in the same house and starting a relation... (read in full...)

I need my family but they aren't there for me now they know I'm gay

Q.   Hi everybody, my name is John, I'm gay and I think I have a problem, I am very emotional and sensitive, this is bringing me a lot of problems now, right at this moment my life is so messed up, first my boyfriend broke up with me, second my family ...

A.   2 September 2009: Hi, Gay people always face the risk of being shunned by their family when they come out. I never understand why, you are still the same person, but people unfortunatly are so narrow minded they feel the need to judge others so quickly. And I real... (read in full...)

Is it normal that the man goes without sex for a month?

Q.   Hi guys, I want to know is it normal that the man go without sex for a month? I ve just got married lately,and my husband is not that sexually active now, because before we got married he always was horny and wanted sex ,but I did not have sex wit...

A.   1 September 2009: Well I always think when people say that you should wait till you get married before having sex is a huge mistake. Being sexually compatible is one of the most important things about a healthy relationship. To wait until you are married makes it a... (read in full...)

It's been over a year since I had a date!

Q.   Okay, so I am a divorced mom and I know that a lot of men are turned off by women with childern, afraid of baggage or whatever. But it has been OVER A YEAR since I have gone a date. I am on and a couple other dating sites, and the only ...

A.   1 September 2009: Unfortunately I think you will find matchmaking and dating sites are full of men who are either married ( I believe it is a ridiculously high percentage) or just looking for a bit of fun. Then there are the serial commitment phobes. Men who need ... (read in full...)

Is this my fault? This is not how I imagined love and commitment to be!

Q.   So I have been dating the same guy for 4 years. Well, we had an 18 month break in between where we still saw each other and slept with each other daily. I continued to help pay his rent and taking care of his daughter during this time. I felt like ...

A.   1 September 2009: Hi, Well seriously, he has you wrapped around his little finger doesn't he? I am sure all the cheating men out there would put your boyfriend up as their poster boy. He gets to sleep around and still have a girl on tap at home who will look after ... (read in full...)

She had sex with this guy and 6 of his friends and now they're all calling her an easy slut!

Q.   One of best friends is Lily she is 20 and is a cool girl. She is really quite and jsut a really good girl , the kind of girl parents they had. She really lieks this jock type guy from our college and she just confided in me that a few nights ago she ...

A.   1 September 2009: Everyone makes mistakes and your friend made a biggie alright. The good thing is she has a friend in you. As long as you can be there for her, this will eventually blow over. The jocks will move on to their next conquest and start bragging abou... (read in full...)

2 years with boyfriend but still think of my ex!

Q.   I moved here a 3 years ago and left back in my country a guy that I had been dating for almost a year. He loved me alot, and now I went back to colombia and saw him again. I had always kept in touch with him, even though we broke up. He has a ...

A.   1 September 2009: Hi, for a start, you have to let your boyfriend go. It is doing none of you any favours by stringing him along. He really is very weak if he thinks that just by staying together you can be happy. This is not the stuff of happy relationships. End ... (read in full...)

He hasn't physically cheated, but I feel betrayed. How to work on this?

Q.   Sorry this is long but I had a hard time cutting the fat from this thread. Here's the whole story. After I wrote and proofread this I realized I don't feel better at all. I'm sure you will have no difficulty understanding how that is. On Thursd...

A.   1 September 2009: Hi, That is such a long list of grievances, I'm afraid I could only make it half way through, but I think that's all anybody needs to do. I will say one thing, you have no trust in him and he seems very evasive and secretive. So at the end of t... (read in full...)

Not feeling the same about my boyfriend anymore...

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for about a year now and he treats me very well. he is a complete gentleman, he gets along with my family and i with his. I love him but i find that over the past couple of months i'm getting very irritated with ...

A.   1 September 2009: Hi, I think you need to let your current boyfriend go. It is not fair on him that you are entertaining thoughts for another guy . Now I am not saying this is a bad thing, you are still very young, it is natural for your priorities and feelings... (read in full...)

B/f constantly accuses me of cheating but I'm not!

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 2 months now and we jus recently broke up and got back together bc he thought I was cheating on him and I've gave him my email address and password give him my phone everything jus to prove to him ...

A.   1 September 2009: Hi, no no no no no... fortunately for you , you have not been in an abusive relationship before. Sorry to say, but this is the first step. He controls your every move. Good grief, take a look in the mirror and ask yourself, does this man make me ... (read in full...)

I dumped him but am having second thoughts -- should I contact him?

Q.   I met a really nice guy and we 'dated' for about two weeks. He asked me out each time, paid for all dates, was a gentleman. In the two weeks I knew him all we ever did was kiss lightly, no make out, no nothing else, he didn't push my boundaries at ...

A.   31 August 2009: Hi, sounds like you are settling on door number two after door number one opened up and you saw the flames of hell. But you closed door number two and it should remain closed. He may be your perfect man, but in your current frame of mind you are... (read in full...)

Her past has been eating me inside as my mind can't accept it, please advise.

Q.   I am a 45 years old and married for 8 years. My wife told me about her past affair when we were dating. She also told me that she is not a virgin. When I met her she was not that interested in me and after my persistence she started to get involve ...

A.   31 August 2009: Sorry mate, not much to tell you. You can spend a week on this site and see identical problems to yours. the guy writes in , he has been married for 2,3,5,10 20 years and is still obsessing over his wife's "past". Of course the man's own past is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend cheated on me, I cheated on him, got pregnant, how do I tell him?

Q.   I have a boyfriend and he cheated on me and i wanted to pay him back, so i cheated on him and i am pregnant and i know that the baby belong to the other guy. How do i tell my boyfriend?...

A.   31 August 2009: Oh dear what a mess. You got pregnant by cheating on him, and you didnt use a condom? For a start I would check myself out for any STD's, after all you have had unprotected sex. It sounds like you have problems already in your relationship, do you ... (read in full...)

We have a sexual relationship only, should he at least have sent me a birthday card?

Q.   I have a sexual relationship with this man. We have been seeing eachother for a while, mind you mainly just for sex. It was my birthday the other day and he did not call to say Happy Birthday. I did not expect a gift but I was expecting a phone ...

A.   31 August 2009: Hi, From what you have said he couldve at least sent you a card. I agree. But when you are in a no strings sex only relationship I wonder if he even knows when your birthday is? If he does, it would've been nice for him to at least send you a ca... (read in full...)

Do you think he only wants me around for sex, without a comitment?

Q.   I have an unusual relationship with this guy, which is why I need help with it. Normally my relationships follow the same pattern - Guy likes me, I want to get to know more about guy, we get to know each other for about 6 months, he asks me to be ...

A.   31 August 2009: Well normally I would say yes he is just after sex, but this guy has helped you through a very tough time and he wouldnt've done that unless he cared about you. What this post is really about is you are ready to commit to a full time relation... (read in full...)

He heard from this 24 year old hottie, I haven't heard from him since, should I move on?

Q.   I bumped into this guy I used to work with years ago, went on a great date with him, and then in a post-date phone call, he tells me about this hot 24-year-old he'd dated four times a couple months ago. He's 38. She broke it off because she was ...

A.   31 August 2009: Hi, I think you know what to do without anyone telling you. Give this one a miss, talking about a 24 year old "hottie" to you just after a date is shallow, insensitive and cruel. You can do better. If she blows him off, you might just get ... (read in full...)

Kicked out because of a ladies night out!

Q.   Hello. I'm having a very difficult time in my relationship of 8 yrs. We share a child together and my "boyfriend"/ " husband" kicked me out of the house and took my car back due to me having a ladys night out a week ago and my friend and I ...

A.   31 August 2009: Hi, yep, you are better off without him I say. He is possessive and immature. Do you want your son to grow up to be like his Dad? An a- hole? It's a very unfortunate state of affairs, but he sees you as his possession - nothing but a broadmare to... (read in full...)

Will circumcision make me last longer in bed?

Q.   Due to having very tight foreskin when my penis is erect and also suffering from frenulum breve i am having a circumcision. I suffer from premature ejaculation. Quite serious, only lasting around 20 seconds when having intercourse but looking arou...

A.   31 August 2009: Just be sure you need to do this procedure and there is no other way around it. Because once it's off you cant put it back on. Get a second opinion ( preferably from a doctor who is in tact ) because there is an awful lot of mixed opinion out ther... (read in full...)

Do you think my colleague is using me for sex?

Q.   Im just very confused about this guy from work. I cant say I know him that well, we used to just have small talk whenever we bumped into each other and one day he asked me if I wanted to meet up for a drink, so we did and we had such a fun time that ...

A.   31 August 2009: Hi, from a male perspective ( and I am sure you will want one of these) I think he does not have any ill intentions towards you, really I dont. But he has come out of a relationship, plays in a band, has a bunch of friends. None of this adds up ... (read in full...)

In love with my teacher. He is single and I want to get more involved

Q.   I've had feelings for my teacher for a while now and I;m pretty sure he feels the same way by the way he talks to me, approaches me, and we even hug and slightly touch sometimes. Anyway, he's single and I want to get more involved but im not sure ...

A.   31 August 2009: Hi, if he has romantic inclinations towards you then he will be sacked from his job and if all goes well be sent to prison. Grow up , you are playing adult games while still a young girl. There are consequences for your actions when you are an a... (read in full...)

Now he wants to go out with friends by himself, am I right to be suspicious?

Q.   my husband and i have been together for 8 years now. we have always been the kind of couple that went out to social events together, whether it was with his friends/family or mine. in the last year he has not joined me to most social events that ...

A.   28 August 2009: Hi, you are not wrong at all to wonder about your partner's sudden change in social habits. Obviously the first thing that crops into your head is ,is he spending time with another woman. Every woman who has been cheated on will tell you there ar... (read in full...)

Is that normal or am I hot?...

Q.   okay I'm 22 6,3 with brown hair and I never had a girlfriend because I'm really shy for some unexplained reason so lately I have been noticing that wherever I go if there's a girl they almost always look at me like if im at a store and I pass a ...

A.   28 August 2009: Dude, you may look like Brad Pitt for all I know, but judging from the tone of your post I gather you have no idea how to approach a girl and talk to her. So forget about looks , concentrate on what's inside your head, that's the best way to attra... (read in full...)

We're back together, but he goes to school with an old fling, will I get hurt again?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for two and half years and everything was great until about a year ago when he (pretty much) out of the blue decided that he was to young to be in such a committed relationship and wasnt sure about us at the moment. ...

A.   28 August 2009: Hi, normally I would say if you trust him then he will stay faithful. But its hard to say, he's a young man, away from you with the temptation of this girl constantly on hand. This is what is going through your mind as well. I think it will eat... (read in full...)

She found out about us, but she's crazy, advice please?

Q.   my friends girifriend and him have been together for about a 2 years and have a kid on the way. well he has not been happy for a year now, he told me last week she is not atractive and anoying, well just this weekend he and me went to a party and ...

A.   28 August 2009: Hi, what a mess this is huh? For a start imagine if you were pregnant and vulnerable to a boyfriend who couldnt care less about you and critized your every move and your appearance. Just try to imagine it that's all. Is your boyfriend looking so g... (read in full...)

Random marriage question, what to make of it, HELP?

Q.   I was just hanging out with a guy that I have been dating for 4 months and he asked a random question that really caught me off guard. Hoping to get some perspective on this. We have only been officially in a relationship for a little over a month, ...

A.   28 August 2009: O.K.. women are from venus men from mars. No better example of this than the above question. My dear, understand one thing, most of the stuff that comes out of a man's mouth is absolute bollocks (well it is with me anyway). It probably jus... (read in full...)

She's filed spousal support papers, does anyone know what could happen?

Q.   Ok here it goes my bf is getting divorced and the papers have been filed. She did not contest the papers now she has served him with spousel support papers. Does any one know what can happen? This is a never endidng nightmare. It's adding stress to ...

A.   28 August 2009: Hi, you dont really give much information , if you want more than a few people to respond, its best to elaborate. From what you say, its a simple case of wait and see. Your partner has an ex partner who is claiming against him. Without any ... (read in full...)

His ex is still splattered all over his Facebook page, is this nornal?

Q.   I'm seeing this new guy. It's early, but he seems pretty great, and sort of weirdly crazy about me. Which is nice. Here's the thing about the new guy. He added me as a facebook friend a few days ago, so of course I checked out his profile. We...

A.   28 August 2009: This is why I will never get a facebook account. These days it seems every little thing you do is scrutinised , and this is a classic example of it. And , moreover, not the first time we have seen this on Dear Cupid. The simple answer to yo... (read in full...)

Is 19 too young to want a baby?

Q.   Well.. ive been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 2 and a half years and i love him more than anything. ive recently started a new job where the majority of the girls are either just married, engagaged or pregnant so all the office talk is ...

A.   28 August 2009: Hi, Listen to your mother, she seems to be the only one thinking logically here. You havent even moved out of home and you are talking about having babies. Good grief, change jobs and hang out with people your own age. 19 year old girls I know usu... (read in full...)

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