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*enizen

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Something is holding me back from having sex with my boyfriend

Q.   I keep stopping myself from having sex with my boyfriend. I'm still a virgin and my boyfriend knows this. The last two times we have spent the night together, he has tried to initiate sex which I have no problem with. I feel i want to have sex...

A.   18 September 2017: Perhaps you could help prepare yourself so that there isn't so much physical trauma when he and you decide to make love. Don't make this a big thing in your mind though. When you feel relaxed and ready things will progress normally as they alwa... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene!

Q.   My girlfriend has poor dental hygiene. Her teeth are yellowish and her breath smells bad.I love her but everytime I wish to express it with a kiss I hold back. How do I bring this up with her?...

A.   18 September 2017: You say:'Darling you really must see a dental hygienist'. ... (read in full...)

I'm not as turned on by my IRL girlfriend as I was with the LDR!

Q.   I've recently started dating a girl from my work who is the sweet, caring, interesting, real girlfriend material. Before her I was casually seeing a girl I met online, it was nothing serious, just dating and a lot of sex really. Now here's my ...

A.   18 September 2017: I would be interested to hear what you think the reason might be. You know the situation. the dialogue, the promise and fascination, so much better than we. We can, after all, only guess. Perhaps it's just pheromones, or lack of them?... (read in full...)

I love my boyfriend but am looking elsewhere

Q.   My situation.. I met my boyfriend a year ago while while I was living overseas, he is from that country. We ended up getting into a relationship quite fast. Our parents met each other and everything was great. A week later or so, he had to g...

A.   17 September 2017: Sounds as if you are not ready to settle down. Best end your current relationship asap. No-one wants to be the other party in a one-sided relationship. You now need to be cruel to be kind.... (read in full...)

I want to get over crushing on my teacher!

Q.   Hi, I'm a 19 y/o female student and I have this burning question within me for a year already, and I don't exactly know where to get my answers so I thought I'd give this platform a try. Anyway, I have a HUGE crush on a same-gender female teacher ...

A.   15 September 2017: Haven't you asked this question before. If not it has cropped up many times. The answer is to direct your attention elsewhere: hobbies, exercise, sport and never forget the cold showers. Looked up previous questions like yours in our vaults.... (read in full...)

My step daughter is making my life hell!

Q.   My step daughter is making my life hell. I'm a nurse on a trauma unit and I work nights. My job is stressful enough without coming home to a battle every day. My husband is far from perfect but his main flaw is his unwillingness to discipline his ...

A.   15 September 2017: If he called you repulsive and meant it then I would definitely leave. What is the point of staying? Get your own place to live TODAY! You could perform a quid pro pro on the brat. but what would be the point? You would perhaps start an esca... (read in full...)

How do I encourage my girlfriend to deal with her depression?

Q.   I think my girlfriend is depressed, I've been dating her for 8 months now and she doesn't have any close female friends and she's incredibly lonely. Most of the time she'll only leave the house to go to classes and she misses quite a few, she has ...

A.   15 September 2017: It's good that you are concerned for her. The trouble is that it isn't anything you can fix. You should encourage her to see her GP. I mean, it can't do her any harm can it? That's one argument you might use. Personally I would not recommend she ... (read in full...)

My long distance boyfriend is a bad communicator.

Q.   I have been dating a guy for about 7 months. We started out as friends and had known each other for about 4 years, and then began dating. We started out dating close proximity, but then due to work and school, were forced to become long distance. We ...

A.   11 September 2017: You could try not communicating with him so much and see what happens. It is hard to keep a relationship alive purely on texts, letters etc. Be sure you have something to say when you do reach him.... (read in full...)

Angry about my parents divorce.

Q.   Long story short, when I was 6 my mom cheated on my Dad with a married man that has 2 kids older than me. Less than a year they both left their spouses for each other. When I grew up my step siblings ignored me like I don't exist. My step dad son ...

A.   10 September 2017: You may never want to forgive. However you don't have to let it affect the rest of your life. You don't have to carry this around with you anymore if you don't want to. Accept that you cannot change what has happened. But your life is yours to live... (read in full...)

I have weird feelings towards my teacher and wonder if he likes me

Q.   Hi? Im 15 yrs old and I have this weird feeling towards my male teacher. I can say that we are close because his not just my subject teacher but also my trainor in dancing .I admit Im a little attracted to him . I just want to know if he has this ...

A.   8 September 2017: No he doesn't like you. He keeps wondering why you are looking at him like that. If you make any untoward moves on him it could cost him his job, get him arrested and get you thrown out of school. Find someone in your peer group to have a crush on ... (read in full...)

If he doesn't trust me then I can't stay

Q.   OK, so i have fucked up..... Multiple times and i obviously haven't learnt my lesson else i wouldn't be in this situation to begin with. Some history: I'm a single mom of a beautiful boy (Almost 3 years old). I left his father as i was no longer ...

A.   7 September 2017: He sounds like a control freak, and you are letting him do this because of some retrospective guilt you feel. You need to reclaim yourself. Even if you were married there are things that remain private to you. There are things you don't have to s... (read in full...)

My co-worker is trying to paint me as a bully!

Q.   Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles. I work with this girl who is trying to paint me as a Bully. We don't always see eye to eye. She says I pick on her when I have to tell her she is doing something wrong. I don't like being that person. Its because I have a...

A.   6 September 2017: It doesn't sound like your job to correct her. Let her fall on her face. The boss can then take the right action. I understand that you have the company's best interests at heart but some people just can't be told. So, stop interfering with her work... (read in full...)

Advice please on handling these locals glaring at me!

Q.   Hello, this might seem like a silly problem. I am 44 years old and while i can be fiery i have calmed down a lot as i have got older. When i was younger i was very different as a person, fiery and i thought nothing of having casual partners. I ha...

A.   6 September 2017: Sorry but you can only control what you can control. You can't stop anyone looking at you in a public place or even glaring at you. All you can do is control your part. You can take yourself away or decline to react. I fail to understand what the ... (read in full...)

She suggested a holiday but then didn't raise the topic. She finally said it was too expensive, is this a sign of problems ahead?

Q.   My girlfriend suggested we go away a few months ago on a specific date. Since then, shes never raised it - but I have on numerous occasions, offering to book things, asking if she was still interested, or even not wanting to go, and all the time she ...

A.   6 September 2017: Perhaps the test would be to say that you want, need, and deserve a holiday and, if she isn't going to come with you, does she mind your going without her? I think her reply might tell you something about the state of your relationship.... (read in full...)

"More than best friends"

Q.   Hi, i really need some advice About 2 years ago, I met this guy thru a my best friend. The 3 of us became best friends but he liked me and I never seen him like that. Until 8 months ago I saw him more of a friend. The first move was made by him,...

A.   4 September 2017: No don't text him. Block him. You made a mistake about him. You made yourself available but to be frank you weren't the one he wanted to spend the rest f his life with. Let it go. You gave it a try and it might have worked but in the end no harm... (read in full...)

Why won't he be honest?

Q.   Why wont he tell me the truth? Me and my ex split in 2013 both are choice. He moved to the north of the midlands. Anyway last yr he got bk in contact with me and since we have met a few times and he's been on weekends away with me and my little on...

A.   4 September 2017: Do you really love this piece of work that much? You split - probably for good reasons - and now you have let him back in your life and it is screwing your head up. He is being secretive, probably lying, unfaithful, and you give him your prec... (read in full...)

How do I materialise this online association?

Q.   I have been using online dating and started talking to this guy 3 months ago. We quite quickly got to messaging each other everyday. He has a really busy job and when I kept suggesting meeting up he would say he is working late so can't meet and at ...

A.   4 September 2017: He isn't that interested in you no matter what he says online. He is stringing you along. He may be lying to you too about your being the only one. If I were you I would be too busy to see him and keep looking for something better. You deserve some... (read in full...)

Family interfering in my romantic life

Q.   I had completed my bachelor's and currently working in MNC. I am in relationship for about 5 years. This guy A is of my age 22. He is not yet settle. Still looking for better job. Even I am not happy with my job too. Now the problem is my parents ...

A.   4 September 2017: I think you need to get a few things straight in your mind. You have been in a relationship with this man for five years, longer than some marriages last. He has a lot of money. And yet... And yet he isn't ready to settle because... Because he is l... (read in full...)

How can I stop being so weak towards men?

Q.   How can I stop being so weak towards men? I come from I guess an abusive(verbally) broken home where whatever I did was not good enough or was always compared to someoene else. 28 years later I suffer from very low self worth/esteem- on...

A.   4 September 2017: You describe yourself as: "on the outside I'm this perfect modeled/beautiful girl". That doesn't sound like someone who has a problem with self worth. In your position I might say of myself I'm not too bad looking. But perfect, modelled/beautiful? ... (read in full...)

My wife of 30 years just confessed that she was not a virgin

Q.   my wife of 30 years confessed that she was not a virgin when we were married. I was not a virgin when we met and if she had told me before we were married I would have been fine with it. My problem is she made such a big deal of telling me she was ...

A.   2 September 2017: Are you sure she isn't lying now? Perhaps she was a virgin but for some reason she is telling you the opposite now. You are taking this very seriously and she must have known the news would affect you. I think you need to dig a bit deeper on this.... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   31 August 2017: I do appreciate the statement from jls022. I appreciate it for its honesty and because it finally approaches the OP's question: "Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while?" You mention: "low drive; trying and fail... (read in full...)

Why would a man still hang onto his girlfriend even if he is cheating with other women?

Q.   If a guy is cheating on his girlfriend, why would he not leave her? He obviously is not the right man for her. So, why not just leave her, let her find a better man for her, instead of hang onto her knowing he is hurting her? Clearly a rel...

A.   31 August 2017: There is another long running question/answer string, Question ID: 334473, which you might want to look at. Essentially the dialogue falls between women not feeling they are getting the love and tenderness they want, and men feeling the women no l... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   31 August 2017: Sorry but I have to return to you detractors. Can you not see what you are doing? You are saying listen to us or you won't get good or regular sex anymore. You make sex like a commodity that won't be available to men if they aren't behaving in a ce... (read in full...)

I can't get over a guy I dated for a month?

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. I still have feelings for an ex that I was only with for one month and it's really troubling me. He wasn't my first boyfriend, and it wasn't my longest relationship, but I've never felt this way before. We had a lovely ...

A.   31 August 2017: Was he your first big love? We all have a special place for our first. The heartbreak is bitter sweet. You are going to mope about for a while but you will move on. I suppose circumstances dictate whether you ever get together again. Don't worr... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   30 August 2017: Well Anonymous 123 the answer to the question directed at me is, 'Yes', unequivocally. But we aren't talking about me. What I was trying to direct your attention to, on behalf of the OP, was the change in attitude towards how women engage in sex ... (read in full...)

It seems women lose interest in sex after a while ...

Q.   Why do women lose interest in sex after being in a relationship for a while? Maybe this Isn't the case with all women, but it seems to be like a continuously notorious pattern in my relationships. Women lose interest in sex but I still want it....

A.   30 August 2017: I think the women who have posted here are in denial. A little more honesty would be welcome. As Len Deighton wrote in London Match: "The tragedy of marriage is that while all women marry thinking that their man will change, all men marry beli... (read in full...)

He let the mother of his child stay over. Is something going on?

Q.   This is new to me, my boyfriend allowed his baby mama to sleep in his house while i was working away. He told me she is going to bring their 2years baby girl to the house and he was going to take them out, that was it and he stopped communication. ...

A.   30 August 2017: First of all not, 'Baby Mama'. You are an adult so speak like one. Second, I have to ask, do you trust him? There are things you write which could swing it either way. Going to a party could just be to reunite with old friends, but where was the ... (read in full...)

Does he like me? Or is he just generally outgoing and flirty?

Q.   There is a guy in my friendship circle, met 3 months ago I'm pretty sure he likes me but then again I am also seriously doubting as well. I have such an intense crush on him. Signs that make me think he does are: He "accidentally" t...

A.   30 August 2017: No, this one is just a close friend. If he were serious he would probably behave differently. Just relax. If he wants to take you out he will ask you. Men are quite direct. We don't do hints.... (read in full...)

I feel angry because my boyfriend liked his ex's pic on facebook

Q.   Should I be bothered that I've noticed my boyfriend has liked a picture of his ex on Facebook. She is 30 years old so 13 years younger than me and when I saw he had liked her with a 30th birthday balloon in feel angry and upset...

A.   26 August 2017: You can feel angry and uspset but I'm not sure where it gets you. You can of course always express your feelings in a non-abusive way and see if he understands your displeasure. You will know how to proceed from there. BUT don't get heated abou... (read in full...)

I need help to try and rebuild relationships with my partner's family which I've ruined because of my anxiety and depression

Q.   I need help to try and rebuild relationships with my partners family and also stop hating myself for my past. I struggled a bit with anxiety and depression shortly after I got together with my bf of 5 years. This made building relationships wi...

A.   25 August 2017: If you can't say it out loud then write a card or send a small gift. It is OK to explain about your illness. People are very understanding once they know the reason. And, if you haven't sought professional help yet then do so. You can't fix your... (read in full...)

Have I wasted my life just waiting?

Q.   Hi all. I'm 26 female, educated but unemployed. I'm in search of job since last 3 years but I haven't been successful in it yet. I live in small city and I have lots of issues with my mom who is single parent. All my friends in my city moved away ...

A.   25 August 2017: It doesn't matter about the past. It is just that, past. You can however start changing things right now. Step outside your comfort zone. Take little risks. Don't take stupid risks but consider how bad could it be if you fail. Often not so bad: a jo... (read in full...)

How do I bring some excitement into my dull and boring life?

Q.   How do I get over getting lost and bored all the time? I'm 18 and about to go out to university and I just feel so bored with my life. I have no source of excitement except going to university and my life's just becoming really routine: get up,...

A.   25 August 2017: Essentially your life is going to change completely when you go to uni', providing you aren't still living at home with your parents. The three or four years is great growing up time and every young person should have it. It used to be the arme... (read in full...)

Worried life is passing me by

Q.   So I've been doing a lot of reading lately, romance novels to be exact, and the cheesy one not the erotic kind. And after contemplating the choices I've made and the life I currently lived, and I feel empty. So I've recently finished college, and ...

A.   24 August 2017: Jeez! You do sound a sad sack. Know that whatever you do it will still be you. Lots of people have boring jobs but that doesn't mean their lives are boring. They use their jobs to fund the way they spend the rest of their time. However, for you,... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable in supporting my husband financially?

Q.   Am I being unreasonable in that my husband is from a different country and I help him out financially. I plan to go back to his country shortly teaching English and we are due to meet in Turkey beforehand to have a holiday. He wants us to be i...

A.   24 August 2017: You have received sound advice from all the Aunts. Now it is up to you. Are you going to get a grip on your life before it all slips away, or are you going to keep doing as you are told? I say enough is enough!... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable in supporting my husband financially?

Q.   Am I being unreasonable in that my husband is from a different country and I help him out financially. I plan to go back to his country shortly teaching English and we are due to meet in Turkey beforehand to have a holiday. He wants us to be i...

A.   23 August 2017: I do think he is acting like petulant child threatening to destroy his passport if he can't get his way. Perhaps you should think twice about going back to his country. Things may be very different for you there and you may not enjoy the rights and ... (read in full...)

Dealing with my son's father?

Q.   My son's father never wanted to know anything about his son when I tried to reach out to him when our son was born. Now at 2 months he finally responded to my texts and his mom actually was the one to speak to me. She has been kind this whole time ...

A.   21 August 2017: It seems like the mother is the one you have to talk to in this. She is acting as a go-between. So be it. He should not be making deductions from your maintenance for his gifts. That is plainly wrong. I agree with you that he doesn't seem that int... (read in full...)

My ex wants to chat again. Is he just trying to keep all of his options open?

Q.   I was seeing this guy three years ago and the relationship was very rocky. Eventually we split, he met someone else but we stayed in contact. We spoke last month and admitted there was still something between us. He says his relationship is ending ...

A.   21 August 2017: Could be. Who knows? But, and it is a big one, if the relationship was turbulent before isn't it going to be more of the same? You split up for a reason. Take the lesson and move on is my advice.... (read in full...)

She didn't like my solo comment to a girl online and now she won't speak to me

Q.   Been seeing this girl a month , I like her she is the good girl sweet type.. It took her forever to have sex with me.. she hasent had sex in 4 years had an abusive ex .. long story short I was on Facebook chatting up another girl I wasn't hiding it ...

A.   21 August 2017: At your age you should understand a bit more about women. It may all have been perfectly innocent in your mind but can't you see how it looks? When you are in a relationship you cannot behave in the same way as you might when you are single. Take... (read in full...)

I've been snooping and finding messages my boyfriend has sent to people on Craigslist

Q.   Hi everyone My boyfriend and I have been living together for 2 years dating for 3. This summer we moved to a new town for his work. He really hated the job but had to do it to move up. One week, our sex life was amazing, he was tired but came h...

A.   20 August 2017: I think, snooping aside, your relationship has problems. He is curious and unsatisfied. This doesn't bode well for the future. To me it looks as if things are going one way. Now you will always be keeping an eye on him. It's obviously up to you ... (read in full...)

Do couples have to be united on everything?

Q.   Do couples have to be united on everything? my boyfriend is frustrated because he feels like people treat him as less than. When I first met him, I saw that he was the butt of peoples jokes. That was 10 years ago. We've been together for 5 y...

A.   20 August 2017: You could go to a relationship counsellor and ask him if your partner will go with you. In UK we have Relate. If he won't attend with you then go on your own. You will get support and be able to examine your feelings honestly. It will put everything ... (read in full...)

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