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I fell in love with a part-time escort and not sure what to do now

Q.   Long read, please be patient. I am a working professional in my early 30’s and I've been living and working in Southeast Asia for the past 10 years. I live and work in a rather remote and industrial area and thus I've always found it diffic...

A.   26 May 2017: There is a cultural element to this which I think you might understand better than many of us. 'Escort' has such broad definitions. They range between prostitute and companion. If you think you might like to date this woman exclusively would she ... (read in full...)

Why can't men just say they are not interested in pursuing anything anymore rather than string you along with the crumbs?

Q.   I did it again. I swore never to talk to another man online due to my past experiences of getting too close without having any kind of commitment. It took time to get over the last guy I spoke with for 18 months (I found out he was dating someone ...

A.   26 May 2017: Just remember StillStrong, he is the lesser person not you. You have the courage to open up about yourself. In the end, he bottled it. He took the cowardly way out. Be proud that you have the inner strength to show others who you really are. Swap ... (read in full...)

Why can't men just say they are not interested in pursuing anything anymore rather than string you along with the crumbs?

Q.   I did it again. I swore never to talk to another man online due to my past experiences of getting too close without having any kind of commitment. It took time to get over the last guy I spoke with for 18 months (I found out he was dating someone ...

A.   25 May 2017: I think your mistake was to invest too much meaning in an online friendship. Is this the only way you can talk to men? And where did this sense of humiliation come from? Did you share too much personal stuff over the internet? To be fair he is ri... (read in full...)

Does his invite mean he likes me?

Q.   There is a guy I'm interested in and he has a son who is turning 3 this weekend. He recently invited me to go to a birthday lunch for his son with him and his family. We are friends from church, but he is not inviting any other of his friends from ...

A.   25 May 2017: In answer to your question, possibly. I take it that you are interested in him. A little strange to be asked to a three-year-old's birthday though, unless you too have a child around that age. If that is the case it could be no more than a ... (read in full...)

I am troubled and feel so down.

Q.   Just looking for advice. I'm 33 and separated from my husband due to domestic violence we separated in December having only been married 3 months. I wasn't happy for a long time and only married as we have 2 kids one is 2 1/2 and the other is 15 ...

A.   24 May 2017: You may well want to get some professional help with your depression. CBT seems to work well for many people. Personally I suggest staying away from meds. In my opinion they try to mask the symptoms, but underneath the problems are still there. I... (read in full...)

Why does my husband have this need to tell virtual strangers they are attractive?

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 yrs. our relationship was the result of an affair that started as friendship. He is 20 yrs older than me. We have been incredibly happy for 8 yrs. He recently turned 70 and now seems to need attention ...

A.   22 May 2017: I think this is a question you should be asking him and not seeking speculation from strangers. At his age, entering the latter part of his life, there are many thoughts crowding in on daily existence. If you feel threatened by his behaviou... (read in full...)

I want to show him the fun me! Do I ask him for a second date?

Q.   I recently stumbled across an old friend and he admitted he liked me 20 yrs ago as i did him . He thought i wasnt interested in him and he was a bit shy so thought i didnt like him that way but i did i fancied the pants off him. im the first to ...

A.   22 May 2017: 'Just wanted to be friends,' is the killer phrase. It suggests he isn't into you in a romantic way and wanted to make that clear from the start. By all means try and fix another date. Who knows? He may revise his opinion. However invite him to do so... (read in full...)

How do I talk to him while we are both at the gym? I'm shy

Q.   There's a guy at the gym i have my eye on. I had seen him around at the gym many times, but never talked. However, we both ended up doing the Spartan Race back in January. We both recognized each other, and started talking. After that, we started ...

A.   22 May 2017: Ask him if he wants to share a juice in the cafe after the session. He will either be too busy or, if he cannot spare the time then, arrange another time. You should probably find out if he's married or otherwise spoken for first. Men can be f... (read in full...)

I am not sure if she feels the same about me. what can I do? I've developed feelings for a female co-worker.

Q.   Not sure where to start.... So I am a 24 year old female and have developed feelings for a co-worker who is also female but is 45years old. We have worked together for over 2years now, we work amongst a team and work with different colleagues. I wo...

A.   21 May 2017: At some point you have to open the topic of sexuality albeit in a general way. You need to find out if she might be open to some sort of advance from you. Ask what she thinks about lesbian pairings in general. Ask her if she has ever been down that... (read in full...)

Why is he ghosting me now?

Q.   Why is all of a sudden ghosting me? This guy bought us concert tickets, we spoke for a while he gave me his number. He spent over £200 for these tickets, continued chatting a while then all of a sudden he started ghosting!! His ignored my me...

A.   20 May 2017: Sorry but I don't understand what you are talking about. He bought 'us' tickets? Who is the us? Then he started ghoating. What does that mean? Can you explain as if you were talking to a small child or a golden retriever.... (read in full...)

Has anyone felt lost in life?

Q.   Has anyone felt lost in life? And has someone gotten out of this funk- I'm 33 and I've gotten the education - the fancy corporate job - done everything by the book - the worrying - the - counting the pennies - the over exercising - the nice ...

A.   20 May 2017: Thank goodness. You are human. Anyone with half a brain arrives at the place that you have sooner or later. At your age you still have to work so finding something that gives a bit of meaning to your life is important. Some exec's, like your... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is grounded and I feel its my fault.

Q.   My boyfriend has college review classes and is not allowed to go out after classes. But the other day, he broke the rules and went out to have lunch with me. When we were almost done with our lunch, his dad called him and got mad at him because his ...

A.   19 May 2017: Are you really between 18 and 21?... (read in full...)

Why's my teacher acting so cold?

Q.   My favourite teacher in the whole world is my art teacher. He's 30 so he's younger and is able to connect with certain students really well. He's the type of person who can make stupid or rude remarks that make you laugh, but he'll only do this ...

A.   19 May 2017: It may be that you were crossing the boundary of teacher/student relationship. You were getting too close, and he realised it was becoming unhealthy and undesirable. He isn't there to be your friend. He is there to be your teacher. If your sch... (read in full...)

Is this kind of kiss usual?

Q.   What does it mean if a guy kisses his hand and then touched your lips with the hand he has just kissed? No guy has done that 2 me before have always gone with a proper lip on lip kiss Yes I properly sound young and not very experienced but ...

A.   19 May 2017: Silence...... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is grounded and I feel its my fault.

Q.   My boyfriend has college review classes and is not allowed to go out after classes. But the other day, he broke the rules and went out to have lunch with me. When we were almost done with our lunch, his dad called him and got mad at him because his ...

A.   18 May 2017: He's grounded? He's a grown man for heaven's sake. Some people have already left home by that age and are holding down a job and paying for their own accommodation. This is not your fault. In fact, looking at it one way, taking a break for lunc... (read in full...)

How can I distance myself from a friend without hurting their feelings?

Q.   I am currently a grad student in college. I used to be best friends with this girl all throughout middle school. We grew apart through highschool, and I am now a graduate in college. Half a year ago, I thought it would be cool if to reach out to her ...

A.   17 May 2017: Just make excuses like everyone else does. She will get the message. There is no easy way. she might be slightly offended or wonder what she has done. Then you use a white lie like everyone does and say you have been very busy and under stress. ... (read in full...)

Is this kind of kiss usual?

Q.   What does it mean if a guy kisses his hand and then touched your lips with the hand he has just kissed? No guy has done that 2 me before have always gone with a proper lip on lip kiss Yes I properly sound young and not very experienced but ...

A.   17 May 2017: It depends on the situation and your relationship to the man. It is an affectionate caress. Describe the situation and we can tell you more.... (read in full...)

How much do I need to earn to be an acceptable bride?

Q.   Hi , Thanks for reading my post. I am very confuse with my current situation. I am 38-year-old female. I am in US. I work as nanny. I done my becholer from Middle East. But, I was not able to focus to my career in US. My father was sick I was takin...

A.   17 May 2017: Sorry to hear of your family troubles. Your question is a little out of time. It harks back to the time when a woman had to bring a dowry to a marriage. Generally speaking that is no longer true, although in some areas of society, like royalty, ... (read in full...)

Is his attitude to me just a phase?

Q.   This guy I did like told me he liked me. And then his whole personality changed in attempt to impress me. He agrees with everything I say and seems to say stuff to just try and impress me, almost like he's googled something to just make ...

A.   16 May 2017: Well I'm not sure your usual choice of guys is very healthy. Perhaps that is why you aren't with them now but that aside. This new man will probably revert to his normal frame of being. Water runs down hill doesn't it? However how nice that he care... (read in full...)

He is too close to his ex' and it bothers me

Q.   I have recently started dating someone at work (discreetly) and it has been going really well. I was very wary of him at first because he has an ex' in the same workplace who he is still close to. He also led me to believe that he liked me before (a ...

A.   16 May 2017: I would tell him that this contact with his ex' bugs you and he needs to dial it back. You don't contact your ex' and you expect the same. It's a question of loyalty. It's lovely they are still friends particularly in the work place but you have... (read in full...)

How do I cope with parents now I'm pregnant?

Q.   Hi everyone, I need some advice and hope right now. I'm soon to be 18 and I'm pregnant... I'm happy to have the baby and I'm happy for my bf too but our parents... Please, I don't want anyone to judge, there will be enough of that, thank yo...

A.   16 May 2017: Marriage would fix most of the problems. Your parents might be upset that you didn't wait until this arbitrary age of 20 but that isn't a law, it is just their guideline. As you have a little one on the way that guideline seems superfluous now,... (read in full...)

Are there any ways of telling for certain whether he's into me or not?

Q.   There's this boy that I really like from college, and I'm a bit confused because he exhibits ALL the signs of being into me in person but doesn't message me that often. I can't tell if it's because exams are coming up and he needs A*s for uni, ...

A.   13 May 2017: No, there aren't any cast-iron ways to know if someone is into you; will he be faithful and true; will he love you as you want to be loved? We all use some indefinable sensors to assess our partner to be. As time goes on, and we learn more - our ... (read in full...)

Should I accept his invitation to have this short vacation together?

Q.   Hello.. There's this nice man living in an adjacent state, who wishes to visit the coast of my country, which is basically located south of it. He wants us to spend 8 days or so together by the end of August. Originally, I'm from the more mo...

A.   12 May 2017: I should have also said, make sure friends know where you are at all times and where you expect to be next on the journey.... (read in full...)

Should I accept his invitation to have this short vacation together?

Q.   Hello.. There's this nice man living in an adjacent state, who wishes to visit the coast of my country, which is basically located south of it. He wants us to spend 8 days or so together by the end of August. Originally, I'm from the more mo...

A.   12 May 2017: If you go you should be prepared to pay your way. You don't want to end up feeling that there is some debt you might be expected to pay in one way or another. You can research some places to visit online and plan a route together. Be clear what the ... (read in full...)

She behaves so sweetly in public. But she cheated on me. What can I do to forget a crafty girlfriend, who I trusted and love?

Q.   My LDR girlfriend cheated on me. I found out and I told her about her cheating. She cried, she denied her cheating. I said to her that I would not sponsor her into U.S as the fiancee. She replied to me that she did not want to go to U.S. After...

A.   11 May 2017: No you aren't stupid. Your intentions were good. I'm sorry she wasn't the person you thought she was. ... (read in full...)

She behaves so sweetly in public. But she cheated on me. What can I do to forget a crafty girlfriend, who I trusted and love?

Q.   My LDR girlfriend cheated on me. I found out and I told her about her cheating. She cried, she denied her cheating. I said to her that I would not sponsor her into U.S as the fiancee. She replied to me that she did not want to go to U.S. After...

A.   10 May 2017: Be strong and cut the ties. This is never going to end well for you. It seems very clear you are being mislead and probably used. Can you not find a real flesh-and-blood girlfriend near you? Someone you can actually date? This LDR thing is bogu... (read in full...)

Too needy? Or is he making excuses to not see me?

Q.   I have been dating this guy 9 weeks now and he is really loving and affectionate with me when we are together. My worry is that he seems to be not wanting to see me as much any more and days he is really busy. We were seeing each other every other ...

A.   10 May 2017: He is definitely reducing his contact with you but for what reason. It may be that he cannot keep up the level of sex you have enjoyed so far. However if he loves you he would surely still want to be with you. Presumably you share interests? Thes... (read in full...)

How do I ask him his true feelings, and ask about commitment, without it appearing as me pressuring him?

Q.   I've been talking to this guy for about 4 months now. He doesn't live near by so we video chat, call each other and text more then we see eachother. I sense things getting serious by the way he starts talking about our future together. He consta...

A.   9 May 2017: I think the very fact that he is talking about marriage, children and shaking up is pretty clear. What's wrong with you? How clearer could he be? You might want to establish a few ground rules before moving in together, if your hopes are for marr... (read in full...)

Could I successfully end up with my first love after all the years we've been apart? Been divorced, now separated from my second husband.

Q.   I need serious advice. Do you think you can end up with your 1st love after years apart? I have 3 children, seperated for over a year, married twice but all my children from my 2nd husband. When I was 15 I fell in love for the 1st time-was no...

A.   9 May 2017: It sounds from you as if it could be a possibility. And you clearly would like it to be so. My advice is to enjoy the journey. Your emotions are probably fizzing and a voice in your head is saying keep calm. Take it easy and enjoy each step on the ... (read in full...)

Why is my ex-fwb still contacting me after he ended things?

Q.   I was recently dumped by my fwb because he and his girlfriend is getting serious. i wanted to end things when i found out he got back with his girlfriend but i wasn't strong enough to leave. after a week he ended things he texted me something that ...

A.   8 May 2017: I think he said he didn't want to sleep with you because you are not together because he realised how obvious he was being. He doesn't want to lose his fxxk buddy. Let's have a little recap'. He has a girlfriend with whom he is getting serious and ... (read in full...)

My friend told my parents that I am contacting girls

Q.   My frnd told to My parents about my relationship...i mean not exactly bt he told that, ur son is contacting to girls.. And my parents hate to be in contacting with girls... So plz tell me what should i tell my parents......

A.   7 May 2017: What do you think the reason is that they don't want you to contact girls? In western culture this would be a normal occurrence. They might even be pleased you were acting like a normal young man. I take it you mean ordinary young women and not ... (read in full...)

The teasing in our relationship is starting to get to me

Q.   Me and my fiancee are planning to get married in just over a year but I'm starting to have a few worries. We like to tease each other and give each other a hard time, its just part of the dynamic of our relationship, but lately I've been taking it ...

A.   5 May 2017: Yes talk. Always good. Call him out on his comments. For example, the clothes. When did he become the style guru for the area? Just tell him to 'leave it out' and if he continues give him the cold shoulder until he gets the fact that there is a li... (read in full...)

Should I move back home? I'm feeling pathetic with no close friends, boyfriend and stalled career

Q.   I'm feeling so lonely. I live with a roommate who is also very alone. I satisfy myself by watching porn. I recently found out the I was the side girl with a guy who was cheatimg on his main gf and basically wasted 8 months. My family is not near ...

A.   5 May 2017: Then how come you haven't made any friends? Is it just that you are feeling generally low and run down at the moment? Would taking yourself off on holiday help? It can be hard to arrange when you feel down but I'm sure a good travel agent migh... (read in full...)

Will it bother this man that I'm dating that I have personal problems?

Q.   So I guess I'll start from the beginning in September my dad became very unwell I was originally born in London but live in Ireland in Dublin as my parents split up when I was younger. Since I found out my dad was sick I've been travelling to Londo...

A.   5 May 2017: Honesty is the best policy. If you don't feel able to date him then tell him that too.... (read in full...)

Should I move back home? I'm feeling pathetic with no close friends, boyfriend and stalled career

Q.   I'm feeling so lonely. I live with a roommate who is also very alone. I satisfy myself by watching porn. I recently found out the I was the side girl with a guy who was cheatimg on his main gf and basically wasted 8 months. My family is not near ...

A.   5 May 2017: Have you done anything to improve your social life? It sounds as if you don't have one. In order to build a circle of friends you need to pursue different interests, hobbies, volunteering, sport etc. Baby steps! Get out there. Get involved. Get doin... (read in full...)

Why is my General Manager so hung up on whether or not I like him?

Q.   He is already liked by the entire staff. Especially the female staff. I am not sure if he is looking for "all" of us female to like him to boost his ego, but all he keeps mentiong is how he doesn't understand why I don't like him. I never gav...

A.   5 May 2017: If this doesn't interfere with work then don't give it another thought. You only have to get on with people at work well enough to do the job. Have a life outside work. That is the important one.... (read in full...)

I can't be what my LDR boyfriend wants me to be!

Q.   My ldr watches porn stars mistress who dominate men . When we talk sexy I am extremely self conscious. It's simply not in my nature to be anything like that . That's not how I am as a person but I know that's what really floats his boat . I have...

A.   5 May 2017: Perhaps I'm wrong but I suspect his motives. A long distance relationship in which you are expected to strip and be sexy on Skype or role-play over the phone just sounds dodgy to me. You wouldn't be the first woman to be duped into being expo... (read in full...)

Should I try to become friends with him again? I feel tempted to try again

Q.   Hi,I was in a 6-month LDR with this guy, but I ended it due to me having feelings for him (while him not). So, there's been no communication for the last 1,5 month. Now I feel like contacting him again to become friends - I have no expectat...

A.   4 May 2017: It depends upon your expectations. He has made it clear he isn't that into you. You on the other hand might still be harbouring feelings that it could lead somewhere. Furthermore as it is LDR you are likely to end up disappointed. If you know all ... (read in full...)

How do I show my emotions, open up to my boyfriend and confide in him?

Q.   I have a hard time with showing my emotions to people. It 's only hard for me because I think it's embarrassing and I was honestly raised to not show any emotions like sadness or even love at times. But my boyfriend wants me to share my feelings ...

A.   4 May 2017: You don't have to share your emotions with anyone if you don't want to. However people in general do find it helpful to talk through issues with someone they can trust. It seems that you have found a couple of people with whom you can share your ... (read in full...)

Unhappy in my relationship and I'm attracted to my friend but he's got a girlfriend.

Q.   Hello dearcupid, I am a 24 year old woman, currently in a monogamous relationship with my boyfriend--let's call him K. We have been together for over five years, and a lot has changed during that time. He is about to turn 39, so there is an age ...

A.   3 May 2017: Hopping from one relationship to another, even if it were possible, is a recipe for disaster. End your current relationship. Recover yourself - that might take longer than you imagine - and then look to a new future with someone more suitable for ... (read in full...)

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