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Should I be mad because my friend helped get me fired?

Q.   I was working with this girl K and my friend L and her friend C. Our boss LO, was always ingrained in L's life calling and texting her, and L asked me to make him stop with the text messages. After a while I discovered that LO was spreading rumors ...

A.   25 April 2017: I don't know about being mad but it sounds like a mad house you were working in. Go and work somewhere more normal, and quit the txting. Definitely quit the txting at work. Get your head down, do your hours then go home.... (read in full...)

Are the things we find attractive different for men and women?

Q.   I can appreciate attractive people but find that in order to get aroused by a man or turned on , I need to know him and feel an attraction . A man simply looking physically attractive is not enough to turn me on. Therefore pictures of random naked ...

A.   25 April 2017: There is attraction and then there is love. You generalise in your question about men but are specific when speaking about women - as if you speak for all of them. Put yourself in the desert island scenario. If you were there for long enough woul... (read in full...)

How can I find out if my neighbor likes me?

Q.   Hi, I live in a mid terrace block of 3. To one side I have my sibling and to the other I have a really nice guy. I moved in here near the end of last year and I must admit it was a shock. Not because I have a place of my own, but because it's nex...

A.   24 April 2017: Ask pairs of friends to dinner. Also invite him. Park the kids somewhere for the evening. See how it goes.... (read in full...)

Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite?

Q.   Is my girlfriend being a hypocrite? So, my girlfriend works as a cam girl on a website. I was aware of her occupation before we started dating. Since she was on that site, I thought there'd be no problem if I register as a member of that site too...

A.   24 April 2017: If you are serious about her then offer to support her so she doesn't have to do sex on cam anymore. Is she a hypocrite? Well yes and no. It could be hard for her to perform if she thinks there is someone who knows her closely watching. The cam girl ... (read in full...)

He doesn't want to be more than FWB do I tell him how I feel?

Q.   Hi I've been friends with a guy for 3years the friendship turned to friends with benefits in January he stopped talking to me and now has got back in contact with me he said he stopped talking to me as he had soem family issues which he explained. ...

A.   24 April 2017: You ask should you tell him how you feel. Well, how do you feel? He has told you he doesn't want a relationship now. He stopped talking to you and now he is back - sort of. This isn't a person who loves you. No mater what his, 'family issues', are ... (read in full...)

I'm seeing a prostitute who says she is pregnant and the baby is mine

Q.   Here is the situation I am in love with a prostitute, from the beginning I accepted her for who she is and what she does as a prostitute but it's hard to me as a man, knowing she dates other men for money I mean i do love her and she says she does ...

A.   23 April 2017: Paternity test and rehab. If you are to have a future together then there needs to be a change. It looks like a struggle to make this one work. Not impossible but very difficult.... (read in full...)

I enjoy getting hit on but how do I keep my respect?

Q.   I am 42 yr old average looking guy and am getting hit by young girls more then before since I took up fitness and gained weight. Now I find my every interaction with the opp sex becomes sexual. Even my sis in law has started flirting with me ...

A.   23 April 2017: You are being fooled by your own ego. You feel fitter; you think you look better, and you are naturally expecting to see a reaction in the eyes of others. OK, go with it, but don't take yourself too seriously. It's great that you are taking c... (read in full...)

She says she's into guys but does she like me?

Q.   A girl has been getting closer to me and grabbing my wrist, and above my wrist but below the elbow. I'm also a girl but am not a lesbian. She says shes into guys but me and my friend are not so sure. my other friend is a girl. Do you think that girl ...

A.   23 April 2017: I think there is too little to go on. Some people are more touchy feely than others. If she really fancied you - if she wanted you sexually it would be in the eyes.... (read in full...)

Worried about future involvement

Q.   I am an extremely emotional person. I had ended my first and only romantic relationship four years ago. There have been quite a few women who have shown interest since then but I wasn't ready for it again. I now find myself finally into a nice lady ...

A.   21 April 2017: Look chum, when you fall for a woman you accept the whole package. You love the quirks along with the tenderness. It sounds like you are being over analytical. And as for your being 'extremely emotional' what does that mean - you cry when you see ... (read in full...)

I want to ask her out, I don't know how

Q.   I went to a school for 9 years, this year I switched for high school. I had a close friend at my old school. She is very nice and very pretty. I have not communicated with her in the last few weeks. I want to ask her out, but I am not sure she feels ...

A.   21 April 2017: Ask her to join you for a coffee. See how it goes. If you find things to talk about you can ask her on the spot if she would like to join you for a pizza or a Sub' sandwich another day. If she declines the coffee then it's no big deal. But every ... (read in full...)

Should I ask out my instructor?

Q.   Should I ask out my instructor after I graduate? I really like one of my lecturers, he is really cute and nice, and obviously very smart. I've gone to his office a few times, and during one of my visits he scooted his chair over really close to ...

A.   19 April 2017: I don't think you should make any approaches to your tutor, particularly on the evidence you offer. He's there to do a job. He isn't there to be your friend, confidant, or more. If you appreciate the work he has done with you then send him a nice... (read in full...)

Boyfriend travels constantly and has friends and family he refuses to let me meet

Q.   I'm 44 years old, my boyfriend is 53. We have been dating for 4 years now. He has 2 jobs. One job has fee flying perks. So far in 4 years he has gone to Costa Rica, Dominican Republic, Mexico, Philippines, Thailand, Japan, he went to Las Vegas and ...

A.   18 April 2017: Dear lady I think you are being cruelly used. What kind of relationship is it where he never takes you away? You never meet his family except by accident and you only see him three hours a week? Please don't continue with this. There seems noth... (read in full...)

A week after losing my beloved dog, my partner wants to split up with me

Q.   4 weeks ago my gorgeous staffy died. She was 15 years old. I got her from rescue when she was 18 months old. I am still heartbroken over her death. I knew it was coming as she hadn't been herself for a while and she was on steroids. I had to get ...

A.   18 April 2017: At the moment feelings are raw. I would advise you both to take things slowly. Don't rush to enforce decisions which you might later regret. In the meantime may I suggest a trip to the dog's home? There are so many animals just waiting to give thei... (read in full...)

Are my own strong feelings for guy number one affecting my feelings for guy number two? Is this why I can't commit ?

Q.   Six years ago, I was going through a very weird stage in my life. Mentally. The following year, I ended up being diagnosed with anxiety and impulsive control disorder. During this time I met this guy, and my whole life changed. He is the male...

A.   13 April 2017: I don't think you are in the right state of mind to be in a relationship at all. It can take years to get over someone. Until you are completely free you are better off staying free and enjoying being your own person. It isn't fair to your new boyf... (read in full...)

My housemate has invited her new Bf to stay in my home over Easter. I feel intimidated and think he's a criminal. What can I do ?

Q.   My housemate (lodger) has recently starting dating someone from a foreign organised crime background and they are staying over this weekend in my home. My housemate met this person on holiday 5 weeks ago and has been seeing this person every week...

A.   13 April 2017: Either tell her that she may not invite this person into your house or give her notice to quit. It can be difficult to be tough about these things, but sometimes you just have to take the bull by the horns.... (read in full...)

I don't really feel like a part of my boyfriend's family and I know his sister dislikes me immensely. How can I try to become friends with her?

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend now for almost 2 years and I don't really feel like a part of his family. He isn't an only child and his parents work pretty much full time to support quite a large family, which I fully understand. Whenever I have spo...

A.   11 April 2017: You should look up the Benjamin Franklin effect. In his autobiography, Franklin explains how he dealt with the animosity of a rival legislator when he served in the Pennsylvania legislature in the 18th century: "Having heard that he ha... (read in full...)

Is it time to end this relationship? 2

Q.   Hi hope someone can help. I've been with my fiance for over 3 years now lately my feelings for him have changed due to him almost cheating on me. He went to the pub with his mates and I was meeting him later in the same pub. I walked in and caught...

A.   10 April 2017: You might as well end it. His attentions are elsewhere. You will be doing the both of you a favour.... (read in full...)

Boyfriend slept with married woman before we dated

Q.   I found out through old messages that my bf slept with a married woman before. It bothers me because I believe marriage is sacred. Also I never would have thought that my bf would do something like that. But in the messages he told his friend that ...

A.   10 April 2017: Your curiosity has opened a Pandora's box. You either have to trust that he will be true to you or else be haunted throughout your time together with the suspicion that he will cheat on you. It's your call.... (read in full...)

I've been unemployed for 3 years, having a hard time getting out of bed in the mornings

Q.   hi all. I am a life science post graduate. I graduated three years before. And worse part is, I'm unemployed for last three years. I love shopping and used to do so in my college days. The problem is my mother used to scold me whenever I was abou...

A.   10 April 2017: Depression, self assertion problems, low self-esteem. Do you think that perhaps it is time to get some professional help? It is quite common that fairly intelligent people can be very slow to pick up on how to help themselves. If money is the prob... (read in full...)

Boyfriend likes to ejaculate on my boobs and face and he finds this "adorable". Is this normal guy behavior?

Q.   Ok I need some other perspectives on this. My boyfriend is just my second sexual partner, so I'm not sure what to make of this. He's also 11 years older and way more experienced. Anyway, he's really good in bed compared to my first boyfriend. He ...

A.   10 April 2017: This has become more normal, in my opinion, over the last 20 or 30 years. As long as he is attending to your needs as well then let him enjoy it. ... (read in full...)

He won't accept my apologies! How do I get him to listen?

Q.   So today my boyfriend and I were having a great time.He came over to fix my computer.He is so clumsy and dirty.And I'm not clumsy and I love my room and bathroom clean.So he made a mess in my bathroom and I got mad at him and then we went pass ...

A.   10 April 2017: Where do I start? You are both acting like children. You don't know how to talk to each other and the results you are now enjoying, or not, are because you both have not respected the other. Stop calling him because that is making him feel more powe... (read in full...)

Married man gave me his phone number!

Q.   I'm a blogger and I'm trying to get an interview with this married guy I'm semi-acquainted with on social media (I'm married too). We follow each other and we have never spoken until a few days ago when I asked him if he would be interested in ...

A.   8 April 2017: Sorry but I disagree with many of the comments by other aunts and uncles. If you are in the business of news gathering it is completely normal to get someone's phone number. You sound as if you may be new to this so I guess you haven't started buil... (read in full...)

My boyfriend texted his ex and said he missed her

Q.   Hi all, I think I've got a messy situation on my hands... I love my boyfriend very much. We've been together for half a year and he had only just broken up with his ex when we got together. He was with her for 3 years. Normally I wouldn't be ...

A.   8 April 2017: I think his comment was inappropriate You have every right to be upset with him. He shouldn't be contacting her saying he misses her. It sounds like he has regrets, and that means he can't focus on you. Sort this out now and save yourself pain late... (read in full...)

When is it ok to have "the talk" or expect to be exclusive ?

Q.   Hi all .. How soon is too soon to expect a guy to commit when it's a long distance relationship? You know us women are always being told not to "scare" me away by putting too much pressure on them. I've been dating a man long distance since N...

A.   8 April 2017: What do you expect from this relationship? I mean how do you see it progressing? Will you ever be together? If so ho and when. These are the questions you need to be working with unless you are happy to spend the rest of your life at a dist... (read in full...)

My friend is controlling and copies everything I do. Is it kinder to end the friendship than to feel resentful of this?

Q.   I have a female friend who is very controlling and the more I try to gain space and step back the worse it gets. I have tried really hard not to end the friendship as I know she is lonely but I am beginning to feel actually frightened by her ...

A.   7 April 2017: For heavens sake! Why have you let this continue for so long? You need to blow this person off ASAP. What a drain on your energy. And not a little bit creepy too. Let her find some other person to leech on to.... (read in full...)

Married man gave me his phone number!

Q.   I'm a blogger and I'm trying to get an interview with this married guy I'm semi-acquainted with on social media (I'm married too). We follow each other and we have never spoken until a few days ago when I asked him if he would be interested in ...

A.   7 April 2017: Interviews are always best done face to face. A good reporter can read body language and inflections, and know when to press and when not to. If the distance between you is too great then phone or Skype might have to do. You can also present your... (read in full...)

Is the breakup real this time?

Q.   Is this a real break-up or a stalemate? I have been in a relationship for 6 years with a woman that I'm inexplicably just drawn to. I love her and I believe we have always had a mutual attraction. We've been content not getting married until ki...

A.   6 April 2017: It takes two (at least) to have an argument. You should examine the root of these disagreements, and both address that. Some couples thrive on this pulling apart and coming together again. If that isn't your style then what is setting off these stor... (read in full...)

Is there something between us that could mean something?

Q.   Hello seeking a little advise.. We meet six months ago via internet finally met in person with our children spent a week together. Because of the kids we kept our distance neither one of us telling of our feelings. I've hinted that I'm interested ...

A.   6 April 2017: When you say you met via internet, was that a dating site? You then say you spent a week together. That all looks like a prelude to something. Perhaps you need to ask him how he sees things developing between you if indeed he does. That is of cour... (read in full...)

Ovarian cyst ruining our sex life

Q.   Hello. I've recently been to the doctors with a medical issue and am awaiting a scan to see if I have a cyst on my ovaries. My scan is in 5 weeks. Me and my boyfriend both have high sex drives except due to the potential cyst it's incredibly painful ...

A.   6 April 2017: Why don't you explore non-penetrative sex until your health problem is sorted out. Some people prefer it.... (read in full...)

I prefer staying home to attending his family gatherings! Is this going to be a problem?

Q.   Dear all, I am married to a wonderful guy and yet I've always been a bit of a loner. We always joke that we love being loners together. He comes from a large happy family and they meet every now and then for a huge meal. I have no issues with his ...

A.   6 April 2017: Well yes, you should make the effort to go. Let me let you into a little secret - we all hate family gatherings. And if not hate we have to make an effort. But they are important. Family cohesion is a priceless part of our culture. If you cont... (read in full...)

I want some good old attention from my husband!

Q.   Is it wrong of me to want some good old fashioned sexual attention . My husband barely notices me . I dress up , get my hair and nails done regularly . Plan trips away . Yet all he is interested in is his girly sites online . I'm happy in my life ...

A.   4 April 2017: Then perhaps you both need to go for some relationship advice. You seem to have tried most other things. If he wants to re-invigorate your marriage then perhaps that's the best way to go. Sometimes they advise a period of abstinence and courtshi... (read in full...)

Want a new relationship but having children is out of the question am I wrong or not?

Q.   Dear Cupid,I have been a single parent all of my children's life now they are fully grown I want a relationship but Im hoping that he doesn't want children that part of my life is history.Am I being selfish for this or not. Help...

A.   4 April 2017: I think not. You have fulfilled your biological function. Bringing up a child is hard work, and bringing up one alone harder. You don't need to do it again. Be perfectly honest about this with your partner and their can be no fault or blame. You ... (read in full...)

Are there any signs that he still loves me? I caught him cheating

Q.   i recently broke with my ex. he was having an affair with another girl and when i asked he denied it. we broke up and he said he is not a suitable guy for me and my family. but we still do video calls and talk for the whole night. actually we talk ...

A.   4 April 2017: I thought you had broken up? How can you catch him looking at you when you are sleeping?... (read in full...)

I want some good old attention from my husband!

Q.   Is it wrong of me to want some good old fashioned sexual attention . My husband barely notices me . I dress up , get my hair and nails done regularly . Plan trips away . Yet all he is interested in is his girly sites online . I'm happy in my life ...

A.   4 April 2017: What have you done to get him sexually aroused? Men often think women do their hair and nails to please themselves; or to keep up standards among their female friends. It isn't going to make him think sex. You will know well enough by now that men ... (read in full...)

I'm becoming close with my best friend's hubby's best friend! Is there something there or is this wrecking a friendship?

Q.   I've becomever very close with my best friends hubbys bestfriend. We hang out all the time and he stays at my house most nights or I'm at his.(unfortunate event car accident and he's got to vehicle)people think we are dating but we are "just ...

A.   3 April 2017: Well M1chelle82, let's get down to brass tacks. What do you want out of this? If you wanted to reel him in I don't think it would be too difficult. If you don't think he is interested enough in you to justify having him as a boyfriend then throw him ... (read in full...)

Is my LDR guy taking me for granted? Or is he cheating on me?

Q.   Hey, Aunts! I'm in a LDR with my guy for some months now. I understand it's difficult cause we don't get time together like we used to before. Nevertheless, communication was indeed great in our relationship. Since the last month, I've been ob...

A.   2 April 2017: Honeypie has hit the nail right on the head. Just cool it and see if he makes any effort. Sometimes absence doesn't make the heart grow fonder - it seems more like out of sight out of mind.... (read in full...)

How should I respond in this situation? I don't know who I really like, nor who likes me.

Q.   Hi... So I have had a crush on this guy , V, at school for almost a year. He's always been giving me mixed signals. One day he'll blush seeing me , the other day he will ignore me . I've often seen his friends teasing him when I'm around in th...

A.   2 April 2017: You are still too young to know your own mind. Wait and your feelings will become clearer. Don't be depressed. Enjoy being with your friends. Don't rush to be too serious. There is time enough for that.... (read in full...)

I want to stop comparing my life with others. How do I learn how to slow down?

Q.   How do I learn how to slow down? I have been with my partner for a long while and we want marriage. But all of my friends are getting married left right and centre and I can't help but want everything at the same time as them and I put all this pre...

A.   2 April 2017: What exactly is the problem? You have been together a long time you say, and also you both want marriage. Are you waiting until you are rich? Are you waiting until you can buy a house? What? You don't have to have a big wedding. It can still be a gr... (read in full...)

My partners family are ruining our relationship and I don't know what to do!

Q.   Hi, just looking for some advice please My partners family are ruining our relationship and I don't know what to do. Background info- we've been together 2 years, live together (against their wishes). I'm 25 and he's 26. I have never given ...

A.   31 March 2017: It is up to your partner to sort this out. He is taking the easy way out, and ignoring the problem. Perhaps he thinks he can't sort it out, and therefore won't come down on your side. Ask him, if it meant you two breaking up, whose side would he c... (read in full...)

Does my boyfriend have commitment issues? He won't change his address

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been living together for almost a year, but he hasn't changed his address with the post office. He is still picking up mail at his parents house. We moved in together June 2016. Last weekend I mentioned it and he said, "t...

A.   29 March 2017: If it's a matter of trust you will have to be patient. I take it the house is in your name? Kicking him out is a real option? Is that correct? You could decide to own the house jointly - put both your names on the lease and both pay the mort... (read in full...)

I'm becoming close with my best friend's hubby's best friend! Is there something there or is this wrecking a friendship?

Q.   I've becomever very close with my best friends hubbys bestfriend. We hang out all the time and he stays at my house most nights or I'm at his.(unfortunate event car accident and he's got to vehicle)people think we are dating but we are "just ...

A.   29 March 2017: I think it's friends. And if I were you I would stop these sleep overs. You have a reputation to protect don't you. To be honest I don't understand your line about wrecking a friendship. How do you see that happening?... (read in full...)

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