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*anniepeg agony aunt

*anniepeg

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*anniepeg's profile:

I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.

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I never get what I ask for from my husband

Q.   My marriage is in trouble and I need help. I have been married 4 years and we have a little boy together. My husband is a nice man, does provide, makes tea and tells me he loves me. But, he doesn’t listen or take action. For example, we have...

A.   10 June 2019: I think it's a problem of him not wanting another child and also poor time management combined with making promises he can't keep. Him having other children that he can't have full time makes him hesitate about having another child. His other ... (read in full...)

Why can’t he say that promise when I’m having an anxiety attack?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for over 6 years. We we've been together since school. We live each other very much but last year my anxiety got worse which nearly resulted in us breaking up. When this happened I went through a period of ...

A.   16 May 2019: The only thing to fear is the fear itself. I can assure you, the worst thing in life is not being single again. It is anxiety attack itself within or without a relationship. We can tell you to take deep breaths, meditation or whatever, but sometimes ... (read in full...)

Is he backing off to give me space to deal with father's illness or backing away completely?

Q.   I met a guy 6 weeks ago and it was a bit of a wonderful whirlwind, he was very keen and just pretty damn perfect from the get go but things are now starting to feel different. About a month before we met my Dad was diagnosed with cancer and things a...

A.   9 May 2019: I think you need mutual understanding so you can have peace to just concentrate on your family without worrying that he would lose interest. He might be the type of person that needs a lot of space and cannot commit to a relationship when one family ... (read in full...)

Why does married man come on to me do I look like I date married men?

Q.   Dear Cupid I am single and been single for a very long time. Today at work I ran into a guy friend I use to work with at the one company and he always tells me how beautiful I am but he is a married man Im thinking to myself nope I will never stoop ...

A.   6 May 2019: I think they ask how come you are not in a relationship as a response to hearing that you are single. It's better to say out loud that, "good, now we can flirt and I can possibly give you some loving." There is no "I date married men" look. Any ... (read in full...)

I just want to know that I am sane. He made me feel crazy

Q.   I have posted about this particular man some years back. I met this European man on a dating website. For almost 4 years of whatsapp messages, we have only video called on Skype twice, the first video call was both our ideas and the second video ...

A.   1 May 2019: He could be talking to an American because he's fed up and done with European women. It seems like distance serves a purpose in masking unknown issues. You cannot use this Danish guy as an example that he's more mature than American men. His ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my husband's weekend depression?

Q.   Hello, So my husband seems to be currently suffering from weekend depression. He works hard, split shifts, and is exhausted. He is stressed about money too. During the week, apart from being tired and complaining alot - he seems to be ok. But when...

A.   26 April 2019: It's hard to feel compassionate when you are at the receiving end of verbal attacks. The first is not to take any insults personally. He was projecting his insecurity onto you. You need to ask him how he is feeling. If he is not speaking with an ... (read in full...)

Is it possible that a man could be so nervous that he can't stop shivering around women?

Q.   I've been seeing this man for about 2 months, everything was going great but I'm not sure how can i make him more comfortable around me whenever we are on a date. I have more experience with men but he claims that I'm the first girl who went on a ...

A.   26 April 2019: It's not a good sign that he can be so nervous. It's possible that he has some neuorological disorder or he is suffering from alcohol/drug withdrawal. A blush, flustered look on the face can be cute, but not when someone has no control over their ... (read in full...)

Are these warning signs after a second date? Should I give it a go or run?

Q.   Hi all, I am mentally quite stuck and would really appreciate some advice. A bit of background. I am 35 years old and have had 2 relationships in my life. One for 3 years from the age of 24 and one for 6 years from the age of 28. Both were fl...

A.   11 April 2019: I think you are asking the next question which is how to break up after two dates. Seems like you already decided. I think you should break it off because you will be used as therapy and an emotional punching bag. She is pushing for emotional ... (read in full...)

Does anyone have any advice on dating a divorced man with 2 young children?

Q.   Does anyone have any advice on dating a divorced man with 2 young boys (2 and 3 years old)? He's 6 years older than I am and from the moment we met, there was an instant connection. He treats me much better than I've ever been before and I believe ...

A.   9 April 2019: I think one of the greatest blessings in the world is to have people care about you besides your parents, so don't undermine your potential position as a step mom. In a world where everybody is isolated in a little bubble between walls (even more so ... (read in full...)

How can I resolve these emotions with my parents?

Q.   How can I put this bad episode in my life past me? I am in my early thirties and am living at home hiding my life from my family and everyone around me . I grew up in an old school Italian family where appearance was everything . My parents ...

A.   9 April 2019: Your parents may not want to hear about your struggles, and you don't feel safe telling them. I bet your emotional struggles are what preventing you from forming relationships with men. I am betting your parents are worried that you may have a ... (read in full...)

I don't believe my b/f is going to start becoming thoughtful after 3 years together but it bothers me

Q.   My Bf and i settled down very quickly into our relationship when i found out i was pregnant. My pill wasnt effective due some medication i was on and aboetion was not an option i wanted to take. But we were in love and happy and in ok jobs so we ...

A.   1 April 2019: I don't think having a child together is going to make someone fall out of love unless he didn't really love you. It is easy to fall in love, to have a connection with someone but having a long term commitment is a totally different thing. It sounds ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend gets angry when I talk about being committed

Q.   I live whith my bf at his place, he can be 2 different people sometimes, one nice warm and kind the other not so. We have been together for about 3 years but when I ask about being more committed to each other he gets angry . I want children and he ...

A.   1 April 2019: Him getting angry is a way of dodging an important conversation. You entered into an arrangement with him without proper commitment. I don't know how much rent you pay. It seems like he is nice to you when he wants you that night. When he wants ... (read in full...)

Need help in dealing with feelings of hatred for my mother for the pain and hurt she's inflicted on me and my sisters while we were growing up....

Q.   We hear so much in the media about child abuse but we grew up in the 60's when such things were taboo. I am writing this on behalf of my two sisters and myself, we are all in our 50's. When we were growing up we were all abused by our mother, not ...

A.   27 March 2019: Totally understand if you have conflicting feelings of not wanting anything to do with her, contrasting to feelings of wanting to be a daughter and to be there for her last moments. Dying patients can seem they are ignoring you but when they are ... (read in full...)

Wife hides her family and past from me

Q.   I recently found out that my wife’s sister has past. I am upset because I never even knew she had a sister. My wife hides her family and her past from me. Worse she asked me not to come to the funeral and wants to go alone. We have been married for ...

A.   18 March 2019: There is nothing you do on your part. This is not about you but her family. Ideally couples share everything because they have trust. This is harder for families especially of Asian descent or those who had taken an oath of secrecy. I can relate to ... (read in full...)

His ultimatum makes no sense! What do I do?

Q.   I'm in a dilemma - my long distance boyfriend and I have spoken about marriage and he says he wants to marry me. However, he at first didn't want a child and then agreed to have one with me "because he wants a life and marriage with me". We hav...

A.   11 March 2019: You may think where you live has no bearing on whether to have a child. His reasons could be that he wants to have a lot of savings for the future, like a child's education and living expenses will be cheaper where he lives than in a big city. He ... (read in full...)

Am I fighting a losing battle? She is still speaking to her abusive husband!

Q.   So... there's a woman I've been talking to for a little over a month. And when we're together, things are good for the most part. The problem is... this woman is married to a man that she has been involved with for a few years. He has threatened h...

A.   20 February 2019: The only future with this woman and her husband is that she and maybe you too will get beaten up so badly. It is not hard to get out of this. She has to apply for divorce and restraining order from him. What is her living situation? I hope she is ... (read in full...)

He played games with me and I need your help to understand why!?

Q.   I am a mature person (not perfect and have many flaws, I am only human), I met this guy who was 10 years older than me 4 years ago, I told him I did not want not want to go out with him as my previous relationships have broken down and they have ...

A.   20 February 2019: No one would say you caused his cheating and the breakup, but you did allow this game to continue for 4 years. Sounds like he wants to be the opposite of what you expect him to be. You first did not want to go out with him. He would not accept ... (read in full...)

How do I show this man that I'm worth having a relationship with?

Q.   How does a woman show a man shes worth having a relationship with, ive been on quite a few dates with a guy but he said he wants to sort himself out a job , own place then maybe a relationship with someone. The words he used were someone he didnt ...

A.   16 February 2019: What is a guy doing out there looking for women but not ready for a relationship? He is probably looking for free sex with women who are too easy, desperate or demanding nothing. A man would never admit to that. He never said he is going on dates ... (read in full...)

Were my comments racist?

Q.   Hi everyone, I had an interesting and slightly upsetting conversation with a friend tonight. We got on to many inane topics that a few drinks brought to the surface and he asked me about my ‘type’. I explained that I am not someone to gener...

A.   15 February 2019: I think your friend might not be in the best mood that night and was looking for an argument. Whatever you answer could be considered racist. It's almost as if you had to say you prefer dark skin to lighter skin in order for you to not be a racist. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is preoccupied with his size and performance

Q.   Recently my B/f has become paronoid about not being able to please me. He ususaly lasts a min or two and then that is it. Plus he worries that as he isnt as big as he would like to be that I might not be enjoying our love life as much as I could. ...

A.   10 February 2019: There is enjoyable sex, and there is also mind blowing sex. Not every woman hankers over mind blowing sex, but your boyfriend has the curiosity of seeing you reacting in one. Vaginas are built so that they are able to squirt when there is enough ... (read in full...)

Money, my relationship, my girlfriend's friend and her boyfriend "chipping in". How do I deal with all of this?

Q.   Hey, I been with my gf for 3.5 years. We are living apart due to finances. Throughout our relationship I have been supporting and providing. Recently I have not been able to due to my work, our meeting has been suffering, we are unable to do ...

A.   7 February 2019: You are the more mature one in the relationship. You see that her idea of happiness is being able to go out and drink. You and her may have different value systems. You may think it's a double standard that she doesn't want you to go out with your ... (read in full...)

I'm going out of my way to be good to his children as well as taking care of our family but all I'm reduced to is a mom and waitress.

Q.   Hi I love my husband more than anything. He is a great dad and works really hard. However I am trying to think of ways to save our marriage as he just doesn’t see things from my point of view and very rarely listens to me unless it’s in an argum...

A.   4 February 2019: Oh, you shouldn't end a marriage over this. Your husband could be more sympathetic though. You've never been a step mom before, and he has never dealt with your situation either, so he doesn't know how sensitive you got. His children is young. On ... (read in full...)

Do I have cold feet or am I overthinking? I feel marriage is a huge responsibility that I want but I'm not ready for

Q.   My fiance and I have been together for two and a half years, and engaged just two months. We've always had a great relationship. I was so touched when he said yes and soaked up all the engagement bliss during the first month. During the sec...

A.   30 January 2019: Maybe you expect your marriage to be perfect and you feel stressed that you won't be able to deliver your best. Allow yourself to be imperfect and allow your fiancé times that he can't be romantic and organized. The purpose of marriage is for deep ... (read in full...)

He's coming on too strong, talks about sex a lot, has a child with an ex. Should I ignore these red flags?

Q.   So about 6 months ago I met this attractive guy.. we met in a cute way as I got him lost accidentally by trying to help with directions, and he later gave me his number and name, which I hadn't asked for. I added him on Facebook and he messaged me, ...

A.   25 January 2019: My first thought was with the others then when I saw Youwish's post I agree with her too. The thing he did wrong was to mention sex when there was no talk about relationship status. He went ahead of himself, knowing that you won't give in until you ... (read in full...)

She forces me to be completely silent when she talks to her parents!

Q.   I am 42 years old and my girlfriend (soon to be wife) is 32 years old. I love her, and she loves me too. Our respective family members know of our relationship, and that, we are going to get married soon. We’ve their blessings. Also, we are both ...

A.   24 January 2019: I don't look at her as a teenager seeking approval. I look at her as a diplomatic person trying to keep peace with two families. She is already going against tradition by agreeing to living with you. By making you silent, she is not trying to make ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won’t call after we have an argument!

Q.   We Dear Cupid: I have been in a relationship for two years. I am 42 and he is 50. He does not like to text nor be on the phone and we do not have hardly any communication during the day and we see mostly during the weekend as he only comes to my ho...

A.   24 January 2019: I think the fact that he doesn't want to talk means he does not want to live with you, or anyone else, after experiences with his exes not working out. There is no discussion about this. Two years ago, did you have an agreement that long term is ... (read in full...)

I need my boyfriend to want me!

Q.   i recently met this guy and i feel good about things. He is well hot and seems v nice. The trouble is he is a bit backwards at coming forward. My last B/f was like a mad stud in and out the bedroomanad we would just do stuff were and when ever. Th...

A.   22 January 2019: With each relationship you have to hit reset and refresh your mindset. If you tell him about your ex and your expectations, that's going to give him pressure and push him away. It will be a catch up game for him and he would never live up to the ... (read in full...)

Should I let her go unless she takes the initiative?

Q.   I have been in a relationship for many years. We do not live together because we both agreed we would wait until each of our children are grown before we combine our households. There have been "ups and downs" over the years, but never anything ...

A.   22 January 2019: She may be starting premenopause and her emotions are all over the place. You have to reassure yourself she is not feeling comfortable with her life now, and this is not about you. When you sense an argument coming, ask her first, why is she angry, ... (read in full...)

Ended relationship, but already having doubts

Q.   Last week I ended my relationship with my girlfriend of 6 years. I hadn’t felt the same about her for some time, and for the last few months didn’t try to conceal the fact. I felt that I was clinging more to the situation we found ourselves in rat...

A.   21 January 2019: You have to decide if you are depressed because you are single, or because you are in a bad relationship. I believe you get in relationships because you think you need the female energy to balance yourself and to feel good. If you can harness that ... (read in full...)

Can we get married in a church if neither of us are religious?

Q.   My fiancee and I would like to get married in a church, however neither of us are religious. Does anyone have any thoughts or advice on this? Neither of our families are religious either. We have come across many churches locally and while ...

A.   18 January 2019: I am sure the only church that lets outsiders rent their space is the universalist church. It won't have the grand look of a cathedral, but you will be able to exchange vows in a spiritual way without having to believe in the bible. For catholic ... (read in full...)

Am I reading too much into our friend with benefits relationship?

Q.   Hello, I am trying to figure this person out and hoping to get some advice. I am in a Friends with benefits relationship . I am with man who I am getting the most weirdest signals, we started dating in July and usually back than it was just the ...

A.   16 January 2019: A lot of times, men ask to be in FWBs giving the impression that they can pick and choose who's date material, and who's casual material. In fact they don't have the confidence or means to sustain a real relationship. Like money, maturity or ... (read in full...)

How do I work with what I have? I am feeling down and disheartened

Q.   Feeling so disheartened and it's impacting on my mental health. Today I went into work at the place where I volunteer. I was talking to the man who I work with and as he has said in the past, I am hard on myself where I put forward negative...

A.   16 January 2019: I have someone like you in my work place. You can't stop people from forming their own opinions of you. Most people are not open and sharing. The fact you do that, means you are trusting. The woman I work with, talks a lot at work and some people ... (read in full...)

How to impress a woman on a Speed Dating event

Q.   This question is mainly for men but the ladies can chime in as well. If you meet a woman for the first time and have only 5 minutes to talk what will you ask or say to her that would leave an impression on her? I am asking this because I go ...

A.   13 January 2019: I would start with the mindset that you what you do in this life and your hobbies is what makes you interesting. You have to believe that you are impressive. So whatever comes out of your mouth is natural and comfortable. You would want to initiate ... (read in full...)

I'm tired of being the bigger person every time we argue

Q.   Dear cupid, I've been wirth my boyfriend for about 2 yrs now, we live together and are very committed to each other and growing our life together. 2 nights ago we were watching a movie and there were preganant women and kids it. I'm in my early 30s ...

A.   11 January 2019: If you were ten years younger, then I could defend his response but at his age he's still not ready to be a father? He could have his own personal reasons but I have to wonder if he wanted kids at all. He certainly shouldn't be wasting time because ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend won’t stop lying to me

Q.   Hi I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 7 months. He just turned 19 and he goes to college 5 hours away. This isn’t a problem we started dating Way before he started college and he didn’t plan on picking a school that far away but we make it ...

A.   9 January 2019: You shouldn't have to lie to your family and friends about your boyfriend. If they really care about you they will feel bad and suggest you to dump your liar boyfriend. If it's about money, there are lots of gifts that require little money. You ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend tries to have anal sex without my permission. Does he not respect me?

Q.   I am 64 female,boyfriend is 60,seeing each other for 6 weeks now and have had amazing sex,he is much more sexually experienced and into porn very much. He tried to enter me analy without asking me and I jumped back because it really hurt,told him ...

A.   9 January 2019: So he basically raped you. Being a boyfriend doesn't mean you don't need to ask for consent, especially anal sex since it hurts. He does not respect women and has no empathy. His relationship is only centered around sex. He could care less about how ... (read in full...)

Should I cut off my mom from my life without giving her an explanation?

Q.   Guys... this new year I’m going to cut off my mom from my life. I have written a question regarding our relationship before and things have been going downhill from there. She has been mean to me and my family all year long. I have a sister w...

A.   30 December 2018: I think you should cut your mom off. It takes a lot of courage to do it but years of demeaning should fuel your motivation to change your life for the better. Meaning cut out negative influences that stop you from healing from depression. She ... (read in full...)

Is his reaction to these comments a red flag?

Q.   Hey guys! Hope everyone is well :) I recently entered into a new relationship. We've been "dating" for the last 2 months, and official for the last month. We have also already entered the "I Love You" phase. Everything moved very quickly, bu...

A.   30 December 2018: It would bother me more if my date didn't react. It is a sign that your date is concerned about your feelings. His male protective instinct came in, and it's especially needed in the type of place you work. I think you have to honestly ask him if he ... (read in full...)

Does he like me more than a FWB?

Q.   2 Months ago, a man and I arranged to "Hook up" after matching on Tinder, things went well. Afterwards, I carried on as usual, assuming It was just a "One night stand". 2 weeks after our "Hook up" He had asked me to become his Friends With ...

A.   30 December 2018: He was asking for friends with benefits. His criteria for FWBs is that he gets to have romantic times with you and can show you off on social media. Partners in FWBs do not have to be invisible, but they lack the promise for the future, the trust ... (read in full...)

How do I stop crushing on jerks?

Q.   I always crush on a guy who is kind of a jerk, but the type of guy parents love because he totally sucks up to them and looks really good on paper — smart, ambitious, handsome — but deep down, he is not the nicest person. He usually has a ...

A.   30 December 2018: Women crush on jerks because masculine guys show jerk traits. Domineering, adventurous and powerful. There are many types of guys. You just have to wait till you meet one who has the good qualities you want but at the same time not too nice to be a ... (read in full...)

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