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*anniepeg agony aunt


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I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.

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I've grown to care for a sex worker that I see and feel I want to be more than her friend

Q.   Dear Cupid, I've been seeing a prostitute for some time now. When I started seeing her, I was in a very bad place emotionally (borderline depression, work pressure, family issues). We didn't have sex on the first few "dates". We mainly talked an...

A.   12 December 2018: There are 3 outcomes. She became your girlfriend. She is just your friend but still have to pay for sex. She doesn't want any business with you anymore. I don't know why you would limit yourself to just 3 lousy options. You said she could do a lot ... (read in full...)

No sex in almost a year, he's watching porn but says nothing is wrong with our relationship

Q.   Hi I’m 32 and in a relationship for 5 years the first 4 years were good then our sex life became non existent I asked my partner what was going on if he was depressed or stressed about anything he said no then one day I heard him watching porn while ...

A.   12 December 2018: Healthy males should be able to have sex with their wives at least once a week up until their 60's. That's males who don't watch porn. Porn programmed your boyfriend's brain to seek variety, which means if he watched the same porn actress, same ... (read in full...)

I'm planning on getting married but afraid of divorce

Q.   I am engaged and planning the wedding next year. But off late I have been having recurring fears about divorce. I am worried about my husband (to be) falling out of love with me when we grow older. Not because i will stop loving himbut because I am ...

A.   12 December 2018: Unless you are obese and unhealthy, women remain attractive for a long, long time. You may gain 10 pounds or more, some stretch marks but you also gain wisdom and understanding. These will be the qualities that hold your marriage together. Maybe you ... (read in full...)

My younger boyfriend just asked me to marry him

Q.   I'm 31 years old woman divorced with 2 kids one of whom have a a disability. I've stayed away from relationships all together because my life is not easy and I have my priorities. Lately, a younger man started to show interest in me, he is 5 ...

A.   10 December 2018: A cancer survivor or anyone who experienced trauma sees life differently. They are able to cherish every day and give the most to people they love. Reason why he's not considering younger women is because he might see them as immature, fragile or he ... (read in full...)

Is this relationship even worth working towards if she is so secretive about her past?

Q.   In July I met a girl at work, she had just moved to my very small hometown a few weeks before we met. She is 23 and has a 1 year daughter. We quickly became friends and I started crushing on her at the same time. She very quite but lots of fun once ...

A.   5 December 2018: Did she ask for a relationship or are you just thinking ahead of yourself? If she is secretive because of fear of judgment, I can understand. Some adopted children feel less than children with intact, biological parents. Maybe she is adopted but her ... (read in full...)

Am I being too harsh on my 17 year old daughter? How do I deal with her?

Q.   I am having trouble with my 17 year old daughter. We've recently returned from a trip to Europe and are jet lagging. It being the weekend, I texted her at 11am to see what she wanted for lunch. She replied that she was still sleeping. At 2pm she ...

A.   5 December 2018: I don't know how she talks to you normally, like in a whiny tone or neutral. In a text that's even harder to tell if she's giving you a demand or just stating a wish. If she has a habit of asking you for stuff and complains that you need time, then ... (read in full...)

I love him and want to stay with him, so why can't I let go of these fears that my marriage wont last?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He's 23, I'm 25. I'm the first girlfriend he's ever had, he's my fourth relationship. Everything with us is pretty much perfect. I've never had a relationship this comfortable before. It seems like ...

A.   4 December 2018: Your mother had been on both sides of this. Her first marriage didn't last long but her second one was "till death do us part." She was neither foolish for her failed first marriage nor was she a chump for believing in a second marriage. If she ... (read in full...)

I work as a cam girl but don't want my boyfriend watching other cam girls

Q.   I work as a cam girl on a website. This is actually my second job to make extra cash. My boyfriend was aware of this before we started dating. Few days back he thought that since I was working as a cam girl it made it ok for him to join one of t...

A.   2 December 2018: You have to consider what's more important, money or boyfriend. He also should not go into a relationship if he's not okay with his girlfriend being watched and drooled over on the internet. He probably went into this relationship with the thought ... (read in full...)

Our sex is becoming just sexual gratification for his sordid fantasies!

Q.   I need help. I'm concerned about my boyfriends sexual orientation/preference. We have been dating for 4 years now, as the 4 years have progressed his sexual habits have changed. He isn't tame , it's always got to be depraved , he's always got to ha...

A.   1 December 2018: I've had the exact same experience. My ex was into porn, but he was also sexually abused as a child. He also had a brain tumor (don't know if it was related to the abuse) and had a memory black out. I remember he had told me his obsession with ... (read in full...)

How could he treat me so badly and now act like nothing bad ever happened between us?

Q.   Hi 6 years ago I met the man of my dreams I was madly in love with him and things were going well after a year of been together I fell pregnant and miscarried the baby the next day my boyfriend kicked me out of his flat no explanation as to why he ...

A.   1 December 2018: It's possible he is narcissistic and can't feel any empathy. He could also be trying to get narcissistic supply by wanting to know your whereabouts. If you are still upset about him then it means he has power over his emotions. It is a sick way to ... (read in full...)

How to deal with a needy friend who’s staying over the Christmas?

Q.   (sorry I've just realized how long this post is) She’s a friend I’ve known all of my life. Our fathers were best friends. She has always been extremely needy and I’ve dealt with it and not always in a good way (meaning that I would often say ...

A.   29 November 2018: I bet she talks to herself at home. She has a mental illness, and will not understand what boundaries mean. Since your parents hosted this celebration, they are okay with your friend staying, probably out of compassion and years of relation. Also ... (read in full...)

Parents moving- what should I do with my pet?

Q.   Need some help please on a family related issue please.. My parents have been alcoholics since I was little and I had a hard upbringing. The only thing that really helped me growing up at home was having my pet dog alongside me (he's mine since...

A.   29 November 2018: You mentioned the three options, which are all difficult. Your dog has lived a good life, received a lot of love from you and I am sure whatever your decision is, he will be forever grateful. My first choice would be euthanasia. The vets are very ... (read in full...)

Trying to force me to have an abortion but still seeming to care.

Q.   I have been in an on - off relationship for 2.5 years, mostly on, and very passionate. The man in question is an MD of a large company, but had just finished with his wife of 20 years when we started our relationship. He told me that they had been ...

A.   29 November 2018: I think he wants children someday, but the timing is just bad, because he probably didn't separate from his wife. There was a sense of urgency for that abortion too. Financially you know he could support his child, there has to be some secret he's ... (read in full...)

I'm confused! Is she interested or playing hard to get?

Q.   Hey Guys, So I met a girl a few weeks ago. We had a great night really flirty and she actually would have come home with me if one of her guy her friends hadn't literally dragged her away. We sent a few messages in the following week a...

A.   20 November 2018: I would rather have someone who texts a lot to plan dates rather than have lots of texting but no dates. I think she is afraid to fall hard too fast and scare you off. It's not necessarily playing games. It's nice to build things slowly because if ... (read in full...)

I really like her and I'm wondering when and how to tell her... But I don't know if she likes me too

Q.   There's this girl I work with and I really like her. We've hung out a few times with other friends, but I don't know if she likes me the same way cause she'll tell me that we're just friends but her body language says different. We play around w...

A.   20 November 2018: You don't pour out your heart to anyone you don't know well. You are young and full of hormones, it is easy to feel strongly towards the opposite sex but it is all in your imagination. You keep it casual by mentioning something you would like to do ... (read in full...)

I'm confused as to why she unfriended me. Did I do something wrong?

Q.   Met a girl in class and I liked her (as a friend). Someone I thought I could get a long with as I enjoyed talking to her. She came across as strong, loud and opinionated but not over the top, I liked this. She has a bf and I have a gf so I figured ...

A.   20 November 2018: So people are fine with the concept of men and women being friends. Most aren't. She interpreted your offer as a date. Maybe it would have been acceptable if all four of you did a double date. It's possible that his boyfriend saw the facebook posts ... (read in full...)

I think he's going through a midlife crisis he went to Thailand and met a girl and he doesn't know that I know

Q.   I have been dating a man for over a year who has just recently gone through a divorce. (Nothing to do with me). I felt he used me as a punching bag as he was very angry about the divorce although I knew he loved me. He stopped speaking to me f...

A.   19 November 2018: People don't to travel to Thailand to have a rebound relationship. Mid life crisis yeah, but you don't spend thousands of dollars to get some "space." He could have been having sexual problems because he was emotionally shut off after the divorce. ... (read in full...)

Was dirty sexual encounter a deal breaker?

Q.   I met this older more top man online. We had a coffee and we decided to play around in his hotel room. He was nice and friendly but no sooner had he lain on the bed than I saw the bedcover smeared with shit from his rear - even though he had at ...

A.   16 November 2018: I would say so. It sounds like anal incontinence is what he has regularly and his hygiene is not good. You were trying to be polite even if you felt grossed out. I don't need to be a gay man to tell you that what you had seen was not normal. Be ... (read in full...)

Am I being unreasonable asking him not to meet up with an old flame?

Q.   Hello Cupids I have been with my partner for six years and living together for three. Yesterday he told me that he has been meeting up with a woman he sort of used to see and I'm not sure how to take it. We all met in university, and the pair ...

A.   16 November 2018: Some boyfriends treat their girlfriends like princesses and would do whatever the girlfriends asked. Some boyfriends treat women equally and would not like being told what to do. Your boyfriend didn't tell you about meeting up with her to avoid ... (read in full...)

He insists he has changed, can it be true? Or is this all a front to win me back?

Q.   I recently posted a question a few weeks ago about my situtation of after a long break apart, my ex boyfriend is claiming and insisting he is a changed man. We have met up occasionally as "dates" which often led to dicussing our relationship and set ...

A.   16 November 2018: His changes are topical and probably not long lasting. Real change comes when you reconcile with sad things that happen in the past and can feel at peace with your life today. You don't want an effort at acting. Change has to come from within so ... (read in full...)

She lied, is this a red flag or is it too early in the relationship for me too care.

Q.   I went on a date with a girl, it was great and we've been chatting a lot since. She asked to meet me again in a few days. The first date was friday. The second date will be the following tuesday. However, i have found out she has lied to me about...

A.   14 November 2018: How do you know she travelled a few hours to see a guy? Weekend has two days. So maybe on Saturday she travelled, on Sunday she rested. She omitted the fact that she saw another guy. I would assume it's a date because if it's a friend, it's no big ... (read in full...)

My LDR knows all about me while I know very little about him.

Q.   Hi! In need of some opinions on my long distance relationship. I'll give you the backstory: We've been together for almost a year now, meeting on a dating app but didn't date right away. At the time we were matched, I learned that he was just in the ...

A.   14 November 2018: A hurtful subject is something traumatic that happened in the fast which has no bearing on today, so why not just bury it in the grave. Having a son is not a traumatic event. It is something to be proud of. It should be in daily conversation such as ... (read in full...)

Do I go with the flow on this one? Or try and dial it back to friends only and if so how?

Q.   I got back in touch with an old male friend around 9 months ago. We were close friends years ago and I was a good friend of his girlfriend. I've been in a relationship with someone else and whilst it started out as friends only, around 3 months in ...

A.   13 November 2018: It can get confusing as because I look at FWBs as emotionless relations. Sees like men don't want to date anymore, but they feel like they have to play some emotions in, to lure women into FWB situations. People who talk friends into sex are lazy ... (read in full...)

I'm married and in (unrequited) love with someone else for years. How can I get over her?

Q.   Hello aunts. I am almost 35 and married, but deeply in love with someone else who does not feel the same way about me. For the long story, please read below. Year 1: A few years ago, halfway through a master’s degree, I had to quit school and ...

A.   13 November 2018: You want someone one you can't have. It's not that Manami has some endearing quality or that Asian mystique. In fact I feel she is a woman who is able to attract any man but doesn't actually want a real relationship. Perhaps based on the fact that ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is perfect, but I want an open relationship.

Q.   Hi people. I met my current girlfriend a little over two years ago and I was not the social type back then. I never really went out a lot and hanging out with friends was pretty much 'indoor'. After I met her I became very outgoing. We went t...

A.   11 November 2018: I think it's the fact that she had played the field and you haven't, so you want to make it even. This should be the fact that she is not perfect for you. She is also not perfect, because you probably wanted a girl with no history, but since you ... (read in full...)

I can't believe he couldnt see how I felt.

Q.   I love a guy who is a good friend of mine and he doesnt know that I love him. At present we are not at all in talking terms. Let me explain how all this happened. 6-7 months back it came to my realization that I love him because I sensed jealousy...

A.   11 November 2018: He has got to be dumb to not know. He thrives on unspoken feelings and your friendship only survives because of the uncertainty and the fantasy playing in his mind. That he is the hero and women secretly want him. I don't believe male female ... (read in full...)

Should I be strong and not burden people with my problems?

Q.   I'm really upset but wondering if I have every right to be or if my boyfriend was spot on and I need to get a grip. I have two children with my ex, we were together 8 years but then he cheated with his now wife. They got married within months of...

A.   11 November 2018: You are not burdening people by saying you are upset. In fact your ex and his wife are setting a bad example for your daughter, and giving her a bad environment to grow up in. I think all the argument started because his wife senses that he still ... (read in full...)

Sometimes I feel lost about who I am.

Q.   Hi All, Might sound like a silly issue raised, but I have a problem trying to have self belief sometimes. I feel I have come from a relatively tough background (in comparison to most people around me) divorced immature parents, a mother with a pe...

A.   10 November 2018: I think the true reflection of how you feel is when you get to be alone. All other things, entertainment and hobbies can be a distraction when you have an identity crisis. Outside measures of success such as career and a beautiful house do not ... (read in full...)

We got together for just sex things blossomed but I messed it up.

Q.   I need advice on how I can either get over or fix something I started 7 months ago. . 5 years ago I drank in my local bar with my sister that night I noticed this older man eyes set on me all night which made me very uncomfortable at first. ...

A.   4 November 2018: He had a reputation as a player but at his age and as his sexual prowess starts to decline, he might want to settle down. He can understand why you panicked but you also have to be realistic that once you start a relationship, the excitement does ... (read in full...)

I think my bf is bored with me and I'm feeling insecure about sex

Q.   So lately I’ve been feeling insecure about sex. Me and my bf had an argument that he was following strippers on Instagram. He ended up deleting it. I told him that it made me feel disrespected and insecure. He said that he thought about why he ...

A.   31 October 2018: Having you initiate 3 times a month is not a problem, only if you can give him the condition that he does not look for outside sources for excitement. There must be reasons that the other two relationships didn't work out, because they were too much ... (read in full...)

I think my bf is bored with me and I'm feeling insecure about sex

Q.   So lately I’ve been feeling insecure about sex. Me and my bf had an argument that he was following strippers on Instagram. He ended up deleting it. I told him that it made me feel disrespected and insecure. He said that he thought about why he ...

A.   28 October 2018: I think he went behind your back and secretly looked for strippers on Instagram because instead of talking to you about initiating sex, he just assumed that good girls are passive and therefore are quiet about sex. He only went on the defensive and ... (read in full...)

My mother's controlling attitude has put a huge strain on my marriage and I was too much of a coward to deal with her. What do I do now?

Q.   I dated my wife for 5 years, now we are happily married for 6 years with 4kids. My mother was ok with her the first 2 years of us being together but after that she hated my wife for no reason. My mother became jealous of our relationship then she ...

A.   25 October 2018: One of the hardest thing to face is mental illness within family. A denial tactic would be, mental illness exists everywhere else, but close to home. Part of the cowardice is the fear of pain when facing this fact, and accepting how bad it is ... (read in full...)

I need emotional support which my husband can't give me.

Q.   Hi everyone.. its been months since my last post here. I had my 2 weeks old son now after long labor and he is perfect. Im the one who posted about trouble with my husband and mother in law. Things are not getting better. Im still living in my in ...

A.   22 October 2018: Your thoughts about upgrading your life are in the right track. He refuses to grow up and is living like a parasite. It is he who is losing respect here, not you. A person with an addiction problem can not think outside of himself. He is not in a ... (read in full...)

My husband wont discuss things and gives me the silent treatment.

Q.   Hello and thanks I tried writing in before but can't seem to find my question. My husband is very popular, and 10 years younger than myself. His friends are a huge part of his life and I knew that from day one. Sometimes I do get a bit a...

A.   18 October 2018: Cultural differences can be bridged but not sexual orientation and lifestyles. I mean, bisexual people can be faithful just like anyone else. Your husband is simultaneously having relationships with other people behind your back. He was either ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend of 5 years is no longer sure he wants to be with me. I think he is going through some sort of life crisis

Q.   Hi everyone. This is pretty long so just bear with me please. I (25F) and my boyfriend (30M) have been together for 5 years. We have lived together for all of that. Before dating, we were very good online gaming buddies for another 5 years. I m...

A.   13 October 2018: Thinking of the worst, he could be using his depression to stall the break up process. He sounds like someone who got a crush on someone else, probably at work. A new person is always going to be exciting. I would not want to have sex with a person ... (read in full...)

How do you tell if your mother is a narcissist?

Q.   I know my mom is a narcissist. Or maybe I am. I don't know. I hope not....My question is ... how do you tell? Little bit of back story... I started watching Bates Motel and I'm noticing some overlap when the show is juxtaposed with my real lif...

A.   13 October 2018: I don't think either of you are narcissistic. Don't know why you would think you are becoming like her. Probably because you never had good female role models growing up, to guide you on how to have good relationships. You are still attached to her, ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend’s family getting in the way of our relationship and they want to take my baby away

Q.   I am really overwhelmed by a situation going on in my personal life with my partner. I am a mom of two, we live together, we have a one year old, I have a daughter and we live in an appartment inside his mom and step dad’s house who are not marr...

A.   13 October 2018: I am not alarmed by your story. This is also common in the US and Canada. We might not be able to relate because we are not familiar with the support system in El Salvador, such as affordable daycare and college financing. I suggest continuing your ... (read in full...)

It seems like boyfriend's love is fading not sure why

Q.   Hi I’m sorry if this is long. I’ve been with my new bf for 4 months. Everything was perfect. He told me he loves me from the bottom of his heart he went on holiday for two weeks and we spoke lots on the phone and video called each other. When...

A.   13 October 2018: Your love language could be different. For him, saying romantic things mean that your relationship is promising and he really likes you. It doesn't mean he will keep on phoning and texting you when he's trying to catch on sleep. Especially if he ... (read in full...)

Dad needs some help in his relationship.

Q.   Hello, Please could someone help give me some good advice, I don't know what else to do.... I am currently in a 10 year relationship and we have 3 young children and the kids are our worlds and we do love each other, but I am deeply disappoin...

A.   27 September 2018: She messed up. Lies are all bad but the more acceptable lie was that she was afraid you would judge her. She lied because she was in contact with her ex. That was not forgivable. As more truth comes out, you find that she has very low self esteem ... (read in full...)

Would women actually want a relationship with someone who already has a kid?

Q.   Call myself c and my daughters mother m. I'll try to keep things short. Our relationship was great before the child came and we even got engaged. I'm not great with women or people in general and I struggle just to hold a conversation to get a tip ...

A.   27 September 2018: Probably single mothers want a dad with a kid. Those who are done with more kids. Women without children might want men without children also. You have to be prepared to be someone else's stepdad too. I don't know why you call yourself douche dad. ... (read in full...)

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