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*anniepeg agony aunt


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I am 34, married a second time. My son is 9 years old and 2 cats. He keeps me busy. My hobbies are movies, recreational games like xbox games, darts, badminton and dear cupid of course. I used to play the piano but stopped. I have been here for 6 years. Every year I see myself change. Every day is a surprise, an opportunity for growth while some days are just coasting along wondering what the point is. My relationship views are a mix of traditional values and modern, open minded ones. I still believe in long term monogamy as it feels right to me. Other than that I feel there are too many rules in a relationship that I would like to get rid of. Dearcupid is a source of my learning about relationships. I am too young to form a conclusion of what love is. I guess I will grow old with this site.

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I am devastated to think maybe our marriage doesn't have a future

Q.   Hi everyone, not been on here for absolutely ages and had a rough few years. So my question is the following! Sorry it’s a bit drawn out. Ok so I met my husband 22 years ago at work, he was married to the daughters boss, but not happily. Anyway I...

A.   4 December 2017: You have more control in the direction of this marriage than you think. Sounds like you lost respect for him as a man. You have a stronger soul and drive for him being that you suffer two major life tragedies but you still have it going on while he ... (read in full...)

He doesn't turn me on but I don't want to hurt him by dumping him harshly!

Q.   One of my closest male friend asked me out 3 years back. He swept me off my feet with his romantic gestures and when he asked me to be his girlfriend i said yes to him.Some 6 months into the relationship I realised that I am do not have any passion ...

A.   4 December 2017: He had incredible patience, bordering on denial to have waited 7 years. Your friendship with him will be miserable on both parts. On his part, it is built on false hope, and you are standing on this pedestal because he fantasizes how marriage life ... (read in full...)

My pretty friend gets constant attention. How do I cope?

Q.   This is long but I feel that details and some background info are important to get an understanding for some answers. This is not your typical, my friend is evidently prettier than me story. I have a friend who is very pretty. She's not a supe...

A.   3 December 2017: Besides beauty, the other things that draw attention is the unseen. Health, fertility and a sense of well being. I am not a medical professional so I can't tell you how to make your thyroid issues go away. If you watch Miss Universe year after year, ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother isn't accepting of my children and myself

Q.   i met my boyfriend 6yrs ago I have 2 children from previous relationship and left their father due to domestic violence. We are happy and since meeting my boyfriend we have so much in common and my children love him like a dad. We met his mum and ...

A.   3 December 2017: You have to decide if your boyfriend is worth sacrificing your children to have a chance of an extended family. For me, I would cut off contact with the in laws. As good as your boyfriend could be, there's nothing he could do to open their hearts to ... (read in full...)

I'm being taken for granted and wonder if I should marry him!

Q.   I have been with my bf for 9 years now and we both dicided to get married, and we had registered. Just lately I have been very uncomfortable with my fiancee, i dont fee like i am being loved, i am only his comfort. It has been probably my faul...

A.   18 October 2017: When you see married men who side with their family, there are two kinds. One is the patriarchal, old fashioned type who sees women are possession with no power or say. The other is the man child who is still under the family's purse string and is ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I argued again, this time over laundry

Q.   I suppose this might be my fault but my boyfriend and I haven't spoken in the last 24 hours because of...laundry. Enter scene: I'm a 25 year old working two jobs currently (soon to quit one to go back to school). He is a 29 year old working on h...

A.   18 October 2017: This was not really an argument. He started something so that he could get some space, to ponder about the future. At 29 with no job and tons of debt, reality hits him that he has no idea how to pay it off, let alone supporting you. His being ... (read in full...)

I think he likes another girl but I don't know how to broach the topic

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for a few months but it's not exactly official, his family don't know and only a couple of our close friends know, it's like a need to know basis. Recently he went on holiday back to his home town with a mutu...

A.   17 October 2017: It's not hard to broach the topic as it is to lose him right now. It's as basic as saying you hear what your mutual friend said. Maybe that other girl is the reason why you are not official. Don't be afraid to bring this up because you are still ... (read in full...)

My ex hasn't told me his wife is filing for divorce

Q.   I've been seeing ex for some time. Yes, I know it's wrong it's a long story. anyway, his now wife is filing for divorce but he hasn't told me. heard from mutual friend. why would he not mention this?...

A.   17 October 2017: I would say he's trying to cover up the reason for his divorce, and it has to do with his own wrongdoing besides his cheating. He doesn't want you to know that he's only seeing you because his wife doesn't want him anymore. It would make your ... (read in full...)

What if she's not willing to compromise?

Q.   I've been dating a girl for 2 months now and we are official, she's 34, and I'm 36. She has 2 young children that I've not met yet- I will be soon. Things seem really good but I have abit of a concern, please could you guys give your advice and your ...

A.   12 October 2017: People can be strong headed in a good way. You are still getting to know her. From a general conversation about dogs, there is no suggestion that you are even going to get dogs. She's just saying that if she were to get one, it would be like a ... (read in full...)

My wife's sexual past has become a sticking point for me

Q.   OK this might be a bit long winded but here we go. So I have been happilyish married for nearly ten years now. I met my wife in 2003 while on my OE in London and we got together and started dating and then eventually the "how many people have you ...

A.   24 September 2017: If a woman loves a husband, to have sex even when not in the mood at first, is not a hard thing at all. Her past matters because you are trying to figure out what makes her tick, and what turns her on. However the reasoning that other men got with ... (read in full...)

He says he will never marry me because of my past!

Q.   Hello, My question there any hope for a future with my ex-boyfriend? We dated for six months and he always suffered from retrograde jealousy for me. During this time I foolishly, casually mentioned my exes, not fully grasping what to...

A.   24 September 2017: I would move on because you most likely can't change him. Of course there are some people who claim that they find ways to deal with retroactive jealousy but you can't bet your time on this. Time would be wisely used to just find another man who ... (read in full...)

Career or relationship? On the cusp of a big decision, I would like your advice!

Q.   So life has finally slowed down a bit. Its been roughly two months since graduation and my folks think that I should move on with my life. Ive been dating my girlfriend since January last year and its been a roller coaster of emotions that I wouldn...

A.   16 August 2017: If she is really the one for you, she won't let you go if you stay in your state. Instead she would continue to support you and figure out a way to move closer to you, or wait until you have different plans in the future. I don't recommend moving in ... (read in full...)

One minute he says he's not going anywhere, the next he is avoiding discussing feelings!

Q.   I'm not sure what to think about this situation anymore. I have a male friend who told me that he'd like to be romantically involved with me, however we agreed to wait until my divorce is finalized. We have been close friends otherwise. He told me ...

A.   15 August 2017: He's being appropriate because he's not supposed to show any feelings towards you until your divorce is final. You are not going to get a clearer answer than "I am not going anywhere," which does not need to be repeated. He's ignoring your attempts ... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for her, should I tell her? She's 20 years younger than I am.

Q.   This is a bit of a strange situation, but bear with me. I am a big Meat Loaf fan, and together with other FB Mad about Meat Loaf group members, we set up a fund to get one of the members, who has ME, down to London from Hull to see the Bat Out of H...

A.   15 August 2017: Not necessarily. Don't just ask out of the blue. Talk about something like a movie or a song than ease the conversation into it.... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for her, should I tell her? She's 20 years younger than I am.

Q.   This is a bit of a strange situation, but bear with me. I am a big Meat Loaf fan, and together with other FB Mad about Meat Loaf group members, we set up a fund to get one of the members, who has ME, down to London from Hull to see the Bat Out of H...

A.   15 August 2017: On Thursday you saw her or did you see her friend as well? How about "are you seeing anyone or do you like anyone in school?"... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for her, should I tell her? She's 20 years younger than I am.

Q.   This is a bit of a strange situation, but bear with me. I am a big Meat Loaf fan, and together with other FB Mad about Meat Loaf group members, we set up a fund to get one of the members, who has ME, down to London from Hull to see the Bat Out of H...

A.   15 August 2017: First of all, if you have been conversing for 2 years, you should have an idea of whether she has feelings for you too, whether she is single, and things like where her head is, what her goals are in life, etc. Feelings have to be mutual if anything ... (read in full...)

My question is does that mean I just want sex again and I'm mistakening that feeling for wanting a relationship

Q.   Hi I'm an 18 y/o girl and I've never had a boyfriend but I'm also not a virgin. I lost my virginity to my guy friend, which wasn't planned at all, but it happened and I guess I don't regret my first time. Better off with someone I trust and respect ...

A.   15 August 2017: Your head tells you you don't want a relationship with this guy but your body, ruled by biology, tells you it's important to be loved in case you get pregnant so that there's a father figure for your baby. It's encouraged by the happy hormones ... (read in full...)

We were getting on so well .... but now he just blanks me.

Q.   Is it time for me to give up? So I was seeing this man for a while, things were great and he told me he loved me and we talked about a future together. We met at work. All of a sudden he has now started blanking me, contact fizzled out apar...

A.   10 August 2017: I bet he has no idea you feel so useless and upset. He got carried away talking about the future. He thought that he gave you a brief moment of bliss and that's enough, not knowing that you would take everything he said literally. I am guessing he ... (read in full...)

My brother is about to be taken for a ride by an online Romanian stripper!

Q.   My older brother is marrying a 21 year old stripper from Romania to bring her to the US. He met her on a webcam girl site. It is likely a romance/green card scam. He is really in a mid life crisis (48) and this is totally out of character for him. ...

A.   10 August 2017: Maybe that's what mid life crisis does. He probably knows that she's there for money and a green card too but he doesn't care. Because of the imbalance (age and money wise) in the relationship, he thinks he holds the power and there's a pseudo sense ... (read in full...)

He seems a lovely guy but could I be missing something?

Q.   I have been communicating steadily with a man I met online now for around 6 months, but we have been also interacting on message boards now for more like 8 months. Things have progressed to us both being seriously interested in seeing if we could ...

A.   10 August 2017: What people say online can be very different from how they are in real life. I am guessing it is anxiety as well. In order to have a healthy sexual connection, you need a balance of tension and relaxation. The chemistry needs to be there but men ... (read in full...)

My husband refuses to acknowledge my children from a previous relationship

Q.   Am 39 years married to my husband for six years. I had two children before marriage. On of them her dad is alive but is not interested in financially supporting her or co parenting. The other his dad passed on. I hve two more kids with my husband ...

A.   10 August 2017: It's not too much to expect a decent human being to be more caring about your children. Many parents find it too tiresome to care for two children, let alone four. I think he's a bit selfish to agree to marry you knowing that he would not be ... (read in full...)

Does she want space or not?

Q.   Six months ago I re-established contact with a girl who I had a thing for when we were young. She is in a relationship but unhappy. I was coming out of a break-up and she was a pillar of support for me when I needed it most. We'd text each other ...

A.   27 July 2017: She's keeping contact in case she needs you again in the future. You are the reason why she's having problems with her boyfriend and will probably be the reason you will be having problems with your new date. When you said you could both move on ... (read in full...)

He asked me to stop tickling him but now he's the one touching me!

Q.   I developed a same sex crush on my friend. It's a long story but I will try to keep it short. He is a few years younger than me and we met at a friends birthday party a few years ago. We actually did not start hanging out until last summer. At first ...

A.   14 July 2017: I think he has conflicting feelings about what he wants to do with you. He definitely likes you but maybe he doesn't want to be known to be gay in front of family and friends. He needs courage coming out and that's his decision alone. He senses that ... (read in full...)

Now it's hard to trust

Q.   A little while ago I left a guy who tried to control me. After bad dating experiences I had walls up, so I was able to pick up on things that didn't feel right. The attention was flattering at 1st, but then got emotionally draining, he didn't tr...

A.   12 July 2017: It's very normal to feel like you do. Here trust has a few meanings. Despite what happened to you in the past, you still need to respect your partner. You have boundaries in a relationship, at the same time you need to give them space to breathe. ... (read in full...)

Should I take the risk for Mr Perfect?

Q.   I've never met a guy who is finally.... finally the guy of my dreams acquiring everything! I could ever ask for (looks, persona, charm, demeanor, intelligence etc). At first when he came to me I would always feel like the situation is too good to be ...

A.   12 July 2017: I would propose to him. You don't need a ring or a ceremony right now but you two need to be in this for a long time. I don't believe in Perfect, just what works for now and for long term. It's not ideal to live with in laws. Normally I would say, ... (read in full...)

Is his request weird or not?

Q.   So lemme know if this is weird or not. My boyfriend has been serious/joking with me about if I we had kids, that he'd want to drink my breast milk from my boobs. I shudder at the thought, and I can only imagine the issues women have with their ...

A.   9 July 2017: There is a breastfeeding fetish though not as common as the foot fetish. I think having fetishes are okay but not to the point of obsessing over them, feeling entitled to them and can't feel satisfied unless having them. His request is not weird but ... (read in full...)

Went out with a colleague but things took a downward turn. He's not interested anymore and I feel stuck blaming myself. What should I do?

Q.   So me and my colleague started to like each other so we exchanged numbers. I wasn't looking for anything serious because of the age difference but I was sexually attracted to him, and it appeared mutual. We were texting and we decided to go out ...

A.   9 July 2017: People can only treat you bad when you let them. You have to isolate yourself from this situation and look at it from the outside point of view. He basically asked you a question, "have fun or not." All you had to reply is no. No need to analyze his ... (read in full...)

Nothing ever goes right in our relationship. Should I stay with him?

Q.   I have been with my partner for over 2 years and it just seems nothing EVER goes right in our relationship. There is no such thing as peaceful, pleasant times for us. It has never been like that, unfortunately. When we got together, instea...

A.   6 July 2017: You asking about fate and what the crystal ball would tell you. How can we do that? Talking about metaphysical stuff, a person goes through 7 year life cycles. There are also partners who bring us luck and those who don't. I hope you can be the one ... (read in full...)

Online dating. He's not just chatting to me. Should I start chatting to others?

Q.   Online dating. I've had both good and bad experiences doing this . I've been chatting with a guy for a couple of week and we are meeting in a few days for our first date . He's told me the lines how he's hoping i'm the one and what he hopes will h...

A.   6 July 2017: Whether you want to chat with others it's up to you. After one date you shouldn't know if he's the one. He could also be saying this line to other women. I had done online dating before and I was like a ninja as I don't want to be seen there. I go ... (read in full...)

I am much less experienced sexually and it bothers me.

Q.   I am a lot less experienced sexually than my girlfriend. She has had atleast 13 past sexual partners aswell as a long term boyfriend. Unfortunately her efforts to try and be open and honest about her sexual past (which I respect her for) led to me ...

A.   6 July 2017: It's easier for a woman to find sexual partners than the other way round. That said, it's easier to find experienced people than to find a virgin. Right now, it is too early to settle down with one woman. I am not saying a long term relationship ... (read in full...)

Went out with a colleague but things took a downward turn. He's not interested anymore and I feel stuck blaming myself. What should I do?

Q.   So me and my colleague started to like each other so we exchanged numbers. I wasn't looking for anything serious because of the age difference but I was sexually attracted to him, and it appeared mutual. We were texting and we decided to go out ...

A.   4 July 2017: He definitely has emotional baggage. If I hear someone says they are sick my response would be "what can I do to help, hope you feel better." I would be questioning if that was just an excuse but I would keep that to myself and just trust the good ... (read in full...)

I am involved with a married woman.

Q.   So first off let’s just get the I’m an idiot, I’m a horrible person, I’m naïve, I need to grow up, and all that out of the way. I am an idiot for this and I didn’t want to let my emotions get involved but I let my guard down and now I’m lost. Ju...

A.   4 July 2017: You need to back off on the emotional bond and the sex. So no texting, no talking until she gets a divorce. She would either do it fast if she wants to keep you or she would find some other dude to play with. She wouldn't know if this is some ... (read in full...)

I'm unhappy at home and crushing on a co worker

Q.   Hi not sure if anyone will be able to help but hoping someone can give some advice or even discuss similar experiences? So I'm 38 have a boyfriend of 7 years and 2 young children (5 and 6) life is quiet and settled never any arguments, however ...

A.   4 July 2017: Last two times I crushed on others when I was still involved in relationships, I ended them. There was no point staying if I don't love that person anymore. I think crushes can be a healthy thing to remind you what it feels to be alive, what it ... (read in full...)

Trivial Fights getting out of control

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years. We have had our ups and downs. When it is good it is REALLY good. The passion is high. We share a lot and are similar in many ways. But we have had our share of down-at-the mouth fights. Somehow we ...

A.   4 July 2017: Fights like these do not come out of nowhere and I would say these are not part of normal ups and downs. He's trying to break up with you or get you to break up with him. When a person really loves you, even when he's tired he would be in bliss that ... (read in full...)

Do men lose out on any pleasure by using condoms?

Q.   Hi Aunts. I've met this amazing guy and we have been chatting for a while, he is going at a slow pace with me :)he is kind, understanding and says he is very much in love with me, I feel the same. I can trust him and I think he's perfect for me ...

A.   3 July 2017: Don't be embarrassed to tell him about problems after being on the pill. Although yeast infections sound gross, a lot of people report problems like mood disorders and digestive issues which are equally troublesome. Women should not have to feel ... (read in full...)

Her comments have me wondering if she's into me or not?

Q.   I've started talking to this girl a lot over the last week and we've hung out quite a bit. We have made plans to go for dinner, she also asked if I'd like to go away to Madrid for a couple of days next week. Today when we were together for a quick ...

A.   3 July 2017: She's asking someone she doesn't know to spend a couple thousand dollars for a few days in a foreign country. Even if you live in the east coast it's a 6 or 7 hour flight. That's not into you. That's wanting a travel companion with whomever. In ... (read in full...)

Should I tell her that I have no experience with women what-so-ever?

Q.   I'm an honest guy. I like to tell the truth. I'm thinking about pursuing a specific girl in my life who seems to like me. Would it be wise to tell her that I'm "love-shy" (really really really bad with women)? I feel like it would take a huge load ...

A.   3 July 2017: You can open up to your family and friends. The girl is new to this. Your inexperience should not be the first thing she knows. I think the more you focus on the problem you impose on yourself, the more anxious energy you give off. The reason why ... (read in full...)

Hiking partner blows hot and cold! What should my next move be?

Q.   I fell for a guy 12 years old than me who was at my hiking group. Over the years we have had a rocky relationship where he would show me interest but would serial date other people. As a result I would ignore him as I was hurt and then he would get ...

A.   3 July 2017: When you act outside of your character because of one person and you don't know why, you have to be aware that some people are energy leeches or emotional vampires. They feed on fear and need of validation. Having an immature guy in a hiking group ... (read in full...)

I'm keeping him at a distance so I wont fall in love!

Q.   Does everyone really maybe not know where things will go when you start hanging out with someone you like??? I mean right now of course we like each other and he says a connection is there he just dont know what it is yet.... So yea we had good ...

A.   2 July 2017: He is of course allowed to say he doesn't where this will go but would you be okay if he dates other women while you wait till you are completely healed? Even people who take their time dating can agree to be exclusive. Is his connection with you ... (read in full...)

I am still breast feeding my school aged child

Q.   I do not see a problem with this however I wondered what the general consensus would be .... I am breastfeeding an almost 7 year old? I am quite out spoken about breastfeeding but a side from close family and friends, no one knows that we are still ...

A.   2 July 2017: This gives you an idea of how you compare to mothers of the world. If your son goes to school and is not homeschooled by you, he would the most get three feed... (read in full...)

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