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What are the chances of me being pregnant?

Q.   My period started on the 4th, so I started taking my birth control that same day, for the first time in 5ish months.. Period was normal. Well Saturday, 16, my boyfriend accidentally came inside of me, whats the chances of me being pregnant?...

A.   19 January 2010: Ok just for me to be sure of what you mean, the 4th of Jan you got your period and you started taking the pill for the first time on this day? Is that right? If so, the most recent medicical literature argues that if you take the pill for the first ... (read in full...)

My friends don't take me seriously, there is either a problem or I am too needy

Q.   My friends seem to not take what I say seriously- when I tell them something they kind of brush me off or not take what I say to heart. Maybe I'm being too sensitive, but it feels like they don't really care about me or my life. But then when they ...

A.   12 December 2009: I dont think its that you are too sensitive, it is more likely that they are just insensitive. How do I know this without hearing examples of the things you get upset about and they dont take seriously? well, you said they go behind your back and ... (read in full...)

How can I accept my sexual past?

Q.   I feel terrible about the number of people I've slept with. I don't feel the need to post the number here because, really, all it is is a moral judgment and I know people will see it differently. I have friends who've slept with more, whatever... ...

A.   8 December 2009: Thats a hard question. I guess it comes down to why you think its not ok for you to have had as many sexual partners as you have had? What do you think is wrong with it? Why did you sleep with x amount of guys? At the time, did you feel you were ... (read in full...)

My husband and best friend text daily M-F, should I be worried?

Q.   I just found out that my husband and my best friend have been communicating via text message pretty much everyday Mon. - Fri.. I knew they texted a lot and I am O.K. with that. Sometimes he'll come home and tell me what they texted about that day, ...

A.   7 December 2009: So he spends his day texting your best friend...why doesnt he text you? You say its nothing sexual, but the thing is they obviously share some emotional connection and while they may not be having a sexual affair, there is such a thing as an "e... (read in full...)

My husband and best friend text daily M-F, should I be worried?

Q.   I just found out that my husband and my best friend have been communicating via text message pretty much everyday Mon. - Fri.. I knew they texted a lot and I am O.K. with that. Sometimes he'll come home and tell me what they texted about that day, ...

A.   7 December 2009: You say they text alot, but you dont really say waht they actually talk about in these text messages. It would be helpful to know this to be able to have a better understanding of the situation. I understand your feelings, Ithink if I was you ... (read in full...)

I don't feel like 'oh my god I did it' or anything like that... is something wrong with me?

Q.   I’m 27 and the other week had sex for the first time. I’m not religious so I wasn’t waiting for marriage, I just didn’t find the right guy to sleep with while I was dating…and in the past guys left me because I wouldn’t give in to sex early on in ...

A.   7 December 2009: You probably think that your reaction and feelings to have sex for the first time arent normal because typically people are younger when they have their first time sex, so therefore they are more emotionally immature etc...which can lead to all ... (read in full...)

Why does he listen to his mates so much?

Q.   I have been with my fella for 2 years now, and love him more than anything! it started off great, we were the perfect couple, everyone was jealous... as we saw eachother everyday for a whole year, n still missed eachother when we werent together, my ...

A.   7 December 2009: Darling, this is not about you, it is all about him and his selfishness! He is not hiding you from his friends because hes ashamed of you, he is hiding you because he wants to be able to check out and hook up with other girls while still having a ... (read in full...)

How can I make him see that she is trying to break us up

Q.   My problem is my boyfriends female friend who has tried everything possible to break us up. The first time I went out with them she got ontop of my boyfriend and tried to kiss him. The second time I went out with them she pecked him on the lips ...

A.   7 December 2009: I have been in your situation before. If there is one thing I learnt, it is that it is easy to blame the other girl and have anger towards her, rather then have those horrible feelings towards your bf. But the truth is, your bf is responsi... (read in full...)

Why would she still want to be friends after we broke up?

Q.   Hey, i just got out of a relationship about 3 1/2 months ago and just talked to my ex today. it was casual and she told me about her new boyfriend. It didnt really bother me as much as i thought until she said that she was completely over me. i was ...

A.   18 November 2009: Everyone grieves in their own time, some get over things quicker and some don't. You are right though, in expecting your first relationship to usualy take longer to move on from compared to the ones you experience later. Its always the hardest, as ... (read in full...)

He doesn't like using condoms and says if I get pregnant, so be it!

Q.   Hi All, Im 19 and have a 23 year old BF, I love him very much and he loves me too. The problem is he doesnt like using condoms, Im not on any form of birth control and I dont want use any, except condoms as I feel more safe. I really DONT want a ...

A.   13 November 2009: I dont know how good your sex education is where you live, but either your bf has been not educated properly in sex, OR he has been fully educated and he is just so selfish that he doesnt care about you. What he has told you about the condom s... (read in full...)

Conflicted in having to choose between my girlfriend and my out of state job offer

Q.   I'll keep it short: I am 20 and I live in Texas. I have an oppurtunity for a good job in New York doing what I love doing. My girlfriend of several years, however, is reluctant to move out of Texas. I love her more than anything, but I'm having ...

A.   13 November 2009:  Have you considered a long distance relationship? Why doesnt she want to move? How far away is the move? Im not from the US, so I dont know the distance. ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend's ex is overstepping the line!

Q.   I met my girlfriend a little over seven years ago. She was still married and living with her husband. We did fall in love, however, I told her I did not want to be in a relationship with a married woman. She told her husband about us and then she ...

A.   11 November 2009: I agree he is behaving inappropiately and crossing some major boundaries. But the thing is, your gf has NOT SET THE BOUNDARIES, so therefore, he can go whereever he wants too. I could talk all day about how this guy has no respect for your ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants a threesome!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 months now, and very much in love. We were both kind of promiscuous before we ended up together but we are very happy to be in a faithful, trustworthy relationship. The boyfriend has brought up havin...

A.   10 November 2009: Your instincts are telling you this is a bad idea- listen to your gut. It is always right. It is as simple as that. ... (read in full...)

First time for both of us...what can we expect?

Q.   Alright, here it goes. I am sixteen and have been absolute BEST friends with a boy for three years. We talk about everything; probably more so than a married couple. This past year we have both told each other that we love each other. But we de...

A.   10 November 2009: You said you both arent dating because you are worried it will ruin your friendship...well I have news for you, sex can ruin your friendship as well, if not even more then just dating. You sound like you are phsyically prepared for sex (birth c... (read in full...)

Do my actions warrent a breakup?

Q.   I hope I didn't destroy my relationship with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with!! He has epilepsy, brought on by a blow to the head when he was in high school. He is on medication for it and as long as he takes it, he is fine. I hadn't...

A.   2 November 2009: I think your bf is being VERY unreasonable. He is your partner- he cant just dissapear off the face of earth like that. Fair enough he needed time to think- but all he had to do was send you a short message saying he would like some time alone for a ... (read in full...)

Where do you draw the line between cheating and not cheating when it comes to dancing?

Q.   I'm going to ask some... um, shall we say, hypothetical questions here about dancing and whether or not it is "cheating". Hypothetically if you've been with a guy for 4 years or so, and you do these things: 1. Slow dance alone in a room with anot...

A.   30 October 2009: It doesnt matter if your define it as cheating or not, what matters is whether or not it upsets your bf. And if it upsets him, then you need to respect his feelings. What is more important to you, your bfs feelings (where his love and the ... (read in full...)

Is this the beginning of physical abuse in the relationship?

Q.   My boyfriend and I had a fight. It was bad, I would not give up without talking, he wanted to sleep (had a test the next morning) so he ignored me and my tears (I am extremely depressed lately and feel like I have no one to turn to, so there is a ...

A.   29 October 2009: Trust your gut, because it is right!!! You know deep down that this is abuse and it is not ok, so trust that because it is very right. This isnt the "start of an abusive relationship" this IS an abusive relationship already. Often abusers... (read in full...)

Is this bleeding normal?

Q.   been checked out: clean. I've never had sex without a condom thus wasn't worried. had sex with my boyfriend before but it was gentle, slow. recently hes taken to fingering me with more than two fingers and it hurts alot, he tends to do it before i...

A.   19 October 2009: You should see the doctor. Im not saying that because I think there is something dangerously wrong, but I am saying it because with any medical question you should seek professional advice. Even if someone here was speaking from personal expeirence- ... (read in full...)

If I can get her into it it's OK, right?

Q.   if i was in the mood for sex and my gf isn`t and i did things to make her horney like foreplay is it safe to assume i can proceed? if she resisted at first but then gave in then it`s ok? its not rape if she ends up enjoying it right?...

A.   5 October 2009: What you are doing is NOT OK. Its called sexual assualt/sexual abuse and it is illegal. The point is she said no, and you continued to manipulate, pressure and coerce her into something she said no to. Even if she didnt no (but didnt say y... (read in full...)

Could this be classed as consensual sex?

Q.   My ex boyfriend always wanted to have sex, and when i told him no, that i didnt want to, he would would always guilt trip me into not actually saying yes, but still let him go through with it. Is that even considered consensual sex? ...

A.   4 October 2009: Ok first just to clarify what happened, you told him you didnt want to have sex. He tried to guilt trip you into it (how exactly? I assume by saying things like "if you loved me you would do" etc...) and eventually he had sex with you. You stopped ... (read in full...)

Girls, do you like it when guys wear eyeliner, or "guyliner"?

Q.   do girls like it when a guy wears guyliner? i would like girls' opinions. thanks for any responses... ...

A.   3 October 2009: Alot of people here are saying no to guys wearing eyeliner. But I bet if you asked these people if they found alot of the male celebrities hot they would say yes. Well, 99% of those guys wear eyeliner on tv and in magazines. It might no... (read in full...)

My mom is sneaking around with a new guy. I feel like my home isn't a 'safe place' anymore

Q.   recently my mom divored my stepdad. and that ok. but in the middle of august she went on a trip for her work and on the way back she met a guy. i guess they got long. but the thing is.. that hes married. apprently arent going well for him an dhis ...

A.   3 October 2009: You have every right to feel safe in your own home. Your mother should not be putting you in this position. She shoudlnt be bringing guys home who she hasnt known for a long time. Especially not with a teenage daughter. You need to tell another ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend is going out clubbing without me, how do I feel comfortable about this?

Q.   Friday night My girlfriend is going out this Friday night and I am beginning to feel anxious. I just need someone to talk to about it to as I get a bit paranoid. Basically she will be going out after work at about half 9 with her friends in...

A.   28 September 2009: I know how you feel. My ex bf used to always go clubbing without me and I would worry so much. I would worry that he might do something stupid beause he would get so drunk, or that other girls might make moves on him and he might make moves on them ... (read in full...)

I want to change my lifestyle and have friends but I'm not sure how to do it!

Q.   I've just started my last year before university. I'm pretty much a loner. I don't have friends and aside from school I'm always on the computer playing poker on facebook or watching sitcoms on t.v. I know it's not good to do this and I want to ...

A.   28 September 2009: I understand how you feel, I was like that when I was at university too. I was also incredibly shy. You didnt say if you were shy or not in your post, are you? Do you have any fears about talking to people or insecurities? Or is the main issue just ... (read in full...)

Co-worker has g/f but is flirting with me..or is he just being nice?

Q.   I started my new job about a month ago. So far it’s been great my coworkers are nice and helpful. They have been very welcoming. Everything was find until about a week ago, one of my co-workers has started to get more comfortable with me, we been ...

A.   27 September 2009: Sounds like he is flirting. Doesnt mean he will go any further though. I find alot of people are flirty even when in relationsihps, with no intention of itgoing further. They just use others to flirt with to boost their own ego. ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend went to stripclub without telling me!

Q.   so my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year. i am a bit of the jealous type but not controlling. basically, i was went through his emails without his permission and i found a trail of emails where he went to a strip club with his friends. ...

A.   15 September 2009: He might of thought that since you were ok with it the first time, that that gave him "permission" to go whenever. Either way though, I can understand why you are upset and I understand that him not telling you is making you very worried and ... (read in full...)

Her bj technique is killing me

Q.   Hello Recently I've been dating this girl, we're both 18 I've been with her for 2 months the problem is that when she goes down on me she kind of chews on my penis. I don't really want to say anything because I love her but if this carries on I...

A.   2 September 2009: I think she would be MORE hurt with you breaking up with her, rather then you saying she hurts. Dont you think? Be brave and tell her what the problem is. Something as simple as 'hey babe can you please be more gentle' will do fine. Either ... (read in full...)

Does he want me back, or was he just horny?

Q.   I broke up with my ex month ago We still living together in our place , I tried to get back to him twice, but he rejected me, and I felt my self so cheap, and I forgot about him totally and started focusing on my life and try to enjoy it ...

A.   27 August 2009: First off, why are you both still living together? From the information, it sadly sounds like he just wanted sex. If he truly wanted anything more, he would not of just approached you for sex. He would of talked to you about how he felt (i.e. sa... (read in full...)

Cheated just before we got married, and now he wants a threesome to even the score!

Q.   I cheated on my husband 2 years ago a few months before we got married. I had sex with another man one time (the biggest mistake of my life). Now he wants to make me feel the same way that I made him feel back then by having a threesome this weekend ...

A.   25 August 2009: Hes using your cheating as an excuse to do whatever he wants in this marriage. That is not ok. Yes, you cheated, thats horrible, and in no way ok or right. But it doesnt give him the right to use it against you like he is. It doesnt give him the ... (read in full...)

How do you deal with someone who only seems interested when you back off from them?

Q.   how do you deal with someone who constantly makes excuses for their behaviour as though they are trying to test just how far they can push you? Example, they didnt email you back for a week as they said they didnt check their emails, or they dont ...

A.   20 August 2009: Its all about control. Dont try to be with a person like this, you will only get hurt. People like this will continue to play games. I have had two ex bfs like this. Each of which continued to play games like this with me for 2 years. You should ... (read in full...)

How do I cope with these mixed feelings? He was abusive towards me but I still hate the idea of him being with someone else!

Q.   Hi. I just got out of an abusive relationship and I am consumed with lots of mixed emotions and I'm just looking for some guidance and advice. Above all I want to understand why I still have feelings for him. He is acting so nonchalant about the ...

A.   19 August 2009: Wow, first of all, I am so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds very traumatic. Im not going to pretend I know exactly how you feel, but I can relate as I have been in abusive relationships before. I know you probably already know thi... (read in full...)

Didn't like what I saw on my husband's facebook. Am I overreacting?

Q.   Dear Aunts, I recently stalked my husbands facebook account (no I don't think its wrong!) and I found that the adage 'look hard enough and you will find what you're looking for' is annoyingly true. I found out that he was ading random (and ve...

A.   19 August 2009: Ok first of all, from your post it sounds like you are just accepting his behaviour as the norm, as you said 'why do men do stupid things'. This is not true- not all men are like this .There are men who would treat them women alot differently to the ... (read in full...)

He still doesn't call me his girlfriend. Won't even refer to us as a couple!

Q.   Theres this guy that I met in January.We initially met online in December,and then met and had dinner together a month later.Anyways,we have been going out since that time.Usually on weekends because of our work schedule,and also because of ...

A.   17 August 2009: I understand how you feel. Not knowing where you stand with a guy is very frustrating. It can also be hurtful because it causes you to have alot of doubts in the relationship you ahve with him, and makes you question alot of things- all valid and ... (read in full...)

Dominant and submissive...I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to give him what he needs!

Q.   I really need advice. Stat. I am a 33 year old straight woman. I just found out today that my new boyfriend is pretty submissive. I'm submissive too (as in I like a man to be in charge), so that creates issues right there that neither of us ar...

A.   17 August 2009: I dont think you can change who you are and you shoudlnt not try too. If you are submissive by nature, then thats an important part of who you are and in my experience as hard as you try to change something like that itjust wont change. You shoudlnt ... (read in full...)

Dating 6 months how do I approach b/f to tell him I want to have a baby?

Q.   Well this is my first post here so I am not sure how I should ask this and I also know peoples opinions differ but what I am wanting to ask is how would I go about asking my bf how he would feel if I said I wanted a baby.....weve only been together ...

A.   14 August 2009: I would probably bring up the topic of babies and marriage in a general sort of way with him first, just to get a clue to his feelings on the topic. Maybe you could just ask him one day if he wants to have children, and generally, most people who do ... (read in full...)

I need help?! My dad stares at my breasts and down there, is this normal?

Q.   ok hi my parents are divorced and my dad likes looks at me at lot 2 times i saw him looking at mt breasts and he always hugs me and if he sees that i have make up on he tells me im beautiful without it and i also saw him stare at me a lot and once ...

A.   9 August 2009: I think you should talk to your mum or another trusted adult about this. They will be in a better position to give you advice. ... (read in full...)

Does online dating work?

Q.   Does anyone here ever tried online dating? Does it ever work like you can expect something serious to come out of this? I am asking because I am about to try this out and would want to know if its worth the time and effort generally. If no...

A.   7 August 2009: If by online dating, you mean using a online dating website to start chatting to guys and then eventually meet them? then yes it can work. However if you chat to guys far away and never meet them, then it probably wouldnt work becuase having a long ... (read in full...)

He can't stop drinking and complains about watching the kids. Should I marry him?

Q.   Me and this guy have been dating monogamously for about 2 years. He proposed may of this year. I am 24 he is 42. I have two children and never married, he has no children and married once. We have a great relationship other than a little struggle on ...

A.   2 August 2009: I think your gut instinct is telling you something very important. Its telling you this relationship isnt right. You should listen to it. I think you know that its right, but part of your doesnt want to accept or believe it because you love your ... (read in full...)

Do a few beers each night amount to addiction?

Q.   Torn between loving my boyfriend of 5 years and worried about his drinking habits becoming more of a problem -he seems to need at least two / three bottles of beer a day after work and if its a night out he has to get full drunk. I just have a few ...

A.   30 July 2009: There are many different opinins on how much alcohol is too much and is it healthy or not at all. I think the general concensus seems to agree that 1-3 drinks a day is 'acceptable', anymore then 3 drinks a day is considered 'binge drinking... (read in full...)

Is it possible to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after an emotionally abusive relationship?

Q.   Is it possible to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after an emotionally abusive relationship?...

A.   30 July 2009: Yes it is most certainily possible. In fact, it is quite common. I was in an abusive relationship and suffered from it. You should see a doctor about it. Even if you arent suffering from it, going through any traumatic expeirence such as an abusive ... (read in full...)

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