Do my actions warrent a breakup?
Q. I hope I didn't destroy my relationship with the man I want to spend the rest of my life with!! He has epilepsy, brought on by a blow to the head when he was in high school. He is on medication for it and as long as he takes it, he is fine. I hadn't...
A. 2 November 2009: I think your bf is being VERY unreasonable. He is your partner- he cant just dissapear off the face of earth like that. Fair enough he needed time to think- but all he had to do was send you a short message saying he would like some time alone for a ... (read in full...)
Where do you draw the line between cheating and not cheating when it comes to dancing?
Q. I'm going to ask some... um, shall we say, hypothetical questions here about dancing and whether or not it is "cheating". Hypothetically if you've been with a guy for 4 years or so, and you do these things: 1. Slow dance alone in a room with anot...
A. 30 October 2009: It doesnt matter if your define it as cheating or not, what matters is whether or not it upsets your bf. And if it upsets him, then you need to respect his feelings. What is more important to you, your bfs feelings (where his love and the ... (read in full...)
Is this the beginning of physical abuse in the relationship?
Q. My boyfriend and I had a fight. It was bad, I would not give up without talking, he wanted to sleep (had a test the next morning) so he ignored me and my tears (I am extremely depressed lately and feel like I have no one to turn to, so there is a ...
A. 29 October 2009: Trust your gut, because it is right!!! You know deep down that this is abuse and it is not ok, so trust that because it is very right.
This isnt the "start of an abusive relationship" this IS an abusive relationship already.
Often abusers... (read in full...)
Is this bleeding normal?
Q. been checked out: clean. I've never had sex without a condom thus wasn't worried. had sex with my boyfriend before but it was gentle, slow. recently hes taken to fingering me with more than two fingers and it hurts alot, he tends to do it before i...
A. 19 October 2009: You should see the doctor. Im not saying that because I think there is something dangerously wrong, but I am saying it because with any medical question you should seek professional advice. Even if someone here was speaking from personal expeirence- ... (read in full...)
If I can get her into it it's OK, right?
Q. if i was in the mood for sex and my gf isn`t and i did things to make her horney like foreplay is it safe to assume i can proceed? if she resisted at first but then gave in then it`s ok? its not rape if she ends up enjoying it right?...
A. 5 October 2009: What you are doing is NOT OK.
Its called sexual assualt/sexual abuse and it is illegal.
The point is she said no, and you continued to manipulate, pressure and coerce her into something she said no to. Even if she didnt no (but didnt say y... (read in full...)
Could this be classed as consensual sex?
Q. My ex boyfriend always wanted to have sex, and when i told him no, that i didnt want to, he would would always guilt trip me into not actually saying yes, but still let him go through with it. Is that even considered consensual sex? ...
A. 4 October 2009: Ok first just to clarify what happened, you told him you didnt want to have sex. He tried to guilt trip you into it (how exactly? I assume by saying things like "if you loved me you would do" etc...) and eventually he had sex with you. You stopped ... (read in full...)
Girls, do you like it when guys wear eyeliner, or "guyliner"?
Q. do girls like it when a guy wears guyliner? i would like girls' opinions. thanks for any responses... ...
A. 3 October 2009: Alot of people here are saying no to guys wearing eyeliner.
But I bet if you asked these people if they found alot of the male celebrities hot they would say yes. Well, 99% of those guys wear eyeliner on tv and in magazines.
It might no... (read in full...)
My mom is sneaking around with a new guy. I feel like my home isn't a 'safe place' anymore
Q. recently my mom divored my stepdad. and that ok. but in the middle of august she went on a trip for her work and on the way back she met a guy. i guess they got long. but the thing is.. that hes married. apprently arent going well for him an dhis ...
A. 3 October 2009: You have every right to feel safe in your own home. Your mother should not be putting you in this position. She shoudlnt be bringing guys home who she hasnt known for a long time. Especially not with a teenage daughter.
You need to tell another ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is going out clubbing without me, how do I feel comfortable about this?
Q. Friday night My girlfriend is going out this Friday night and I am beginning to feel anxious. I just need someone to talk to about it to as I get a bit paranoid. Basically she will be going out after work at about half 9 with her friends in...
A. 28 September 2009: I know how you feel. My ex bf used to always go clubbing without me and I would worry so much. I would worry that he might do something stupid beause he would get so drunk, or that other girls might make moves on him and he might make moves on them ... (read in full...)
I want to change my lifestyle and have friends but I'm not sure how to do it!
Q. I've just started my last year before university. I'm pretty much a loner. I don't have friends and aside from school I'm always on the computer playing poker on facebook or watching sitcoms on t.v. I know it's not good to do this and I want to ...
A. 28 September 2009: I understand how you feel, I was like that when I was at university too. I was also incredibly shy. You didnt say if you were shy or not in your post, are you? Do you have any fears about talking to people or insecurities? Or is the main issue just ... (read in full...)
Co-worker has g/f but is flirting with me..or is he just being nice?
Q. I started my new job about a month ago. So far it’s been great my coworkers are nice and helpful. They have been very welcoming. Everything was find until about a week ago, one of my co-workers has started to get more comfortable with me, we been ...
A. 27 September 2009: Sounds like he is flirting. Doesnt mean he will go any further though. I find alot of people are flirty even when in relationsihps, with no intention of itgoing further. They just use others to flirt with to boost their own ego. ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend went to stripclub without telling me!
Q. so my boyfriend and i have been dating for over a year. i am a bit of the jealous type but not controlling. basically, i was went through his emails without his permission and i found a trail of emails where he went to a strip club with his friends. ...
A. 15 September 2009: He might of thought that since you were ok with it the first time, that that gave him "permission" to go whenever. Either way though, I can understand why you are upset and I understand that him not telling you is making you very worried and ... (read in full...)
Her bj technique is killing me
Q. Hello Recently I've been dating this girl, we're both 18 I've been with her for 2 months the problem is that when she goes down on me she kind of chews on my penis. I don't really want to say anything because I love her but if this carries on I...
A. 2 September 2009: I think she would be MORE hurt with you breaking up with her, rather then you saying she hurts. Dont you think?
Be brave and tell her what the problem is. Something as simple as 'hey babe can you please be more gentle' will do fine.
Either ... (read in full...)
Does he want me back, or was he just horny?
Q. I broke up with my ex month ago We still living together in our place , I tried to get back to him twice, but he rejected me, and I felt my self so cheap, and I forgot about him totally and started focusing on my life and try to enjoy it ...
A. 27 August 2009: First off, why are you both still living together? From the information, it sadly sounds like he just wanted sex. If he truly wanted anything more, he would not of just approached you for sex. He would of talked to you about how he felt (i.e. sa... (read in full...)
What exactly are commitment issues?
Q. my ex told me he has commitment issues....but he aint the cheating typ and i know he isnt. but what are commitment issues? x...
A. 26 August 2009: It probably means hes afraid of getting hurt, therefore he finds it hard to full give himself and commit to a relationship with the fear that it wont work, or that he will get hurt. ... (read in full...)
Cheated just before we got married, and now he wants a threesome to even the score!
Q. I cheated on my husband 2 years ago a few months before we got married. I had sex with another man one time (the biggest mistake of my life). Now he wants to make me feel the same way that I made him feel back then by having a threesome this weekend ...
A. 25 August 2009: Hes using your cheating as an excuse to do whatever he wants in this marriage. That is not ok. Yes, you cheated, thats horrible, and in no way ok or right. But it doesnt give him the right to use it against you like he is. It doesnt give him the ... (read in full...)
Why am I like this in relationships?
Q. if i'm in a situation where it's obvious from the start that things are going to be going downhill soon, or at least eventually (for very conspicuous reasons), i don't feel dread or scared--i actually feel a release of some type, and i actually feel ...
A. 24 August 2009: It seems to me you dont believe in yourself, and you dont really have any self confidence. For some reason, deep down, you believe that you deserve to be in these unhealthy relationships, therefore, that is why you are continualy ending up in such ... (read in full...)
How do you deal with someone who only seems interested when you back off from them?
Q. how do you deal with someone who constantly makes excuses for their behaviour as though they are trying to test just how far they can push you? Example, they didnt email you back for a week as they said they didnt check their emails, or they dont ...
A. 20 August 2009: Its all about control. Dont try to be with a person like this, you will only get hurt. People like this will continue to play games. I have had two ex bfs like this. Each of which continued to play games like this with me for 2 years. You should ... (read in full...)
How do I cope with these mixed feelings? He was abusive towards me but I still hate the idea of him being with someone else!
Q. Hi. I just got out of an abusive relationship and I am consumed with lots of mixed emotions and I'm just looking for some guidance and advice. Above all I want to understand why I still have feelings for him. He is acting so nonchalant about the ...
A. 19 August 2009: Wow, first of all, I am so sorry you had to go through that. It sounds very traumatic.
Im not going to pretend I know exactly how you feel, but I can relate as I have been in abusive relationships before.
I know you probably already know thi... (read in full...)
Am I wrong in thinking that hetrosexual couples are unable to maintain a sense of equality?
Q. am i too logical? i love hetero sex, but i don't see the purpose in getting in a serious long term relationship with a MAN if there's no true plans on having children. men and women are not totally emotionally compatible...women and women get along ...
A. 19 August 2009: It is possible. Not all men are sexist and treat women the way in which you describe. Not all relationships are like this in reality. I wonder why you feel this way? Is that the only types of relationships you have been exposed to, where men are ... (read in full...)
Didn't like what I saw on my husband's facebook. Am I overreacting?
Q. Dear Aunts, I recently stalked my husbands facebook account (no I don't think its wrong!) and I found that the adage 'look hard enough and you will find what you're looking for' is annoyingly true. I found out that he was ading random (and ve...
A. 19 August 2009: Ok first of all, from your post it sounds like you are just accepting his behaviour as the norm, as you said 'why do men do stupid things'. This is not true- not all men are like this .There are men who would treat them women alot differently to the ... (read in full...)
Are people just superficial as a general rule?
Q. is it just me, or where i live, or humanity in general--- but are people just superficial as a general rule? for instance, i met this guy who is a family friend (i started working with him), and my family, who is normally accepting and fr...
A. 19 August 2009: Wow, I totally understand your situation.
I too am quiet and reserved, especially when meeting new people. And people think I'm "weird". Yes, people will judge you if you dont fit the social norms. And like they say, first impressions do count. I... (read in full...)
He still doesn't call me his girlfriend. Won't even refer to us as a couple!
Q. Theres this guy that I met in January.We initially met online in December,and then met and had dinner together a month later.Anyways,we have been going out since that time.Usually on weekends because of our work schedule,and also because of ...
A. 17 August 2009: I understand how you feel. Not knowing where you stand with a guy is very frustrating. It can also be hurtful because it causes you to have alot of doubts in the relationship you ahve with him, and makes you question alot of things- all valid and ... (read in full...)
Dominant and submissive...I'm afraid that I'm not going to be able to give him what he needs!
Q. I really need advice. Stat. I am a 33 year old straight woman. I just found out today that my new boyfriend is pretty submissive. I'm submissive too (as in I like a man to be in charge), so that creates issues right there that neither of us ar...
A. 17 August 2009: I dont think you can change who you are and you shoudlnt not try too. If you are submissive by nature, then thats an important part of who you are and in my experience as hard as you try to change something like that itjust wont change. You shoudlnt ... (read in full...)
Dating 6 months how do I approach b/f to tell him I want to have a baby?
Q. Well this is my first post here so I am not sure how I should ask this and I also know peoples opinions differ but what I am wanting to ask is how would I go about asking my bf how he would feel if I said I wanted a baby.....weve only been together ...
A. 14 August 2009: I would probably bring up the topic of babies and marriage in a general sort of way with him first, just to get a clue to his feelings on the topic. Maybe you could just ask him one day if he wants to have children, and generally, most people who do ... (read in full...)
I need help?! My dad stares at my breasts and down there, is this normal?
Q. ok hi my parents are divorced and my dad likes looks at me at lot 2 times i saw him looking at mt breasts and he always hugs me and if he sees that i have make up on he tells me im beautiful without it and i also saw him stare at me a lot and once ...
A. 9 August 2009: I think you should talk to your mum or another trusted adult about this. They will be in a better position to give you advice. ... (read in full...)
Does online dating work?
Q. Does anyone here ever tried online dating? Does it ever work like you can expect something serious to come out of this? I am asking because I am about to try this out and would want to know if its worth the time and effort generally. If no...
A. 7 August 2009: If by online dating, you mean using a online dating website to start chatting to guys and then eventually meet them? then yes it can work. However if you chat to guys far away and never meet them, then it probably wouldnt work becuase having a long ... (read in full...)
He can't stop drinking and complains about watching the kids. Should I marry him?
Q. Me and this guy have been dating monogamously for about 2 years. He proposed may of this year. I am 24 he is 42. I have two children and never married, he has no children and married once. We have a great relationship other than a little struggle on ...
A. 2 August 2009: I think your gut instinct is telling you something very important. Its telling you this relationship isnt right. You should listen to it. I think you know that its right, but part of your doesnt want to accept or believe it because you love your ... (read in full...)
Do a few beers each night amount to addiction?
Q. Torn between loving my boyfriend of 5 years and worried about his drinking habits becoming more of a problem -he seems to need at least two / three bottles of beer a day after work and if its a night out he has to get full drunk. I just have a few ...
A. 30 July 2009: There are many different opinins on how much alcohol is too much and is it healthy or not at all.
I think the general concensus seems to agree that 1-3 drinks a day is 'acceptable', anymore then 3 drinks a day is considered 'binge drinking... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after an emotionally abusive relationship?
Q. Is it possible to have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after an emotionally abusive relationship?...
A. 30 July 2009: Yes it is most certainily possible. In fact, it is quite common. I was in an abusive relationship and suffered from it. You should see a doctor about it. Even if you arent suffering from it, going through any traumatic expeirence such as an abusive ... (read in full...)
I was in danger and could of died, but he couldnt care less because he needed his sleep!
Q. My boyfriend and I had a rocky beginning. I loved him more than anything and it wasn't mutual. I did let him go and it took me dating another for him to realize he loves me. We've been together for five years and I thought everything was fine but ...
A. 23 July 2009: I dont think you are exaggerating. The point is, you felt you were in danger, no matter what the situation is, whether people here or your bf finds it dangerous or not so dangerous, the point is YOU felt in danger, and he should of been there to ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is playing games with my head!
Q. I need help! Okay my boyfriend he's amazing everytime I lay in his arms I feel like I have the world and I love him to pieces but..he calls me beautiful and says that I love you...but the next couple of days later he says he's annoyed of me when I d...
A. 12 July 2009: Darling what your bf is doing is NOT OK! He is emotionally/mentally & verbally abusing you. This has got to stop. More then likely, he wont stop abusing you, because he is an abuser. It has nothing to do with you. So dont start thinking things like ... (read in full...)
I need help understanding shy guys, does he like me or is he just being polite?
Q. Shy guys are very confusing and frustrating. This guy at my work is around 26. He is so so shy his dad tries to set him up on dates and from what I have found out he only has had one girlfriend. One of my friends at work told him that I thought he ...
A. 7 July 2009: did you say he gave you a huge hug and said you would have to do it again? if so (especially the hug part) then i would say thats more then being a polite! a person being polite would of just say i had a good time, and left it at that, and they ... (read in full...)
Brother's friend..wants phone sex but is that all he wants from me?
Q. I need someone else's perspective on my situation. I met my brother's friend 4 years ago at a bar. Nothing happened but I was attracted. As they both are in the army, our paths crossed briefly over the years but nothing went further than jus...
A. 2 July 2009: Sadly, I think hes using you. If he wanted more then he woudlnt be behaving in the way he is. Sure he contacts you alot, but some guys are willing to give you fake signs to give you false hope which makes you hold on- so basically they do certain ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend threw a chair across the room!! What do I do?
Q. My boyfriend of 3 years just threw a chair across the room because he got mad that I was questioning him about an online account he has. We live together now for 6 months and in the entire 3 years he has NEVER throw anything, let alone a chair!!! ...
A. 28 June 2009: Abusers generally start showing signs of abusive behaviour towards other things and other people, but not you! At least at first...eventually it will be your turn.
Sure, he threw a chair, no one got hurt, but that doesnt matter. Someone could of... (read in full...)
For the guys: If you were showing all the signs of being into one girl, would you be likely to see others too?
Q. Out of curiousity for all you men out there- If you met a girl and are seeing her for a month, and you text her everyday and you ask all your friends (that are friends with her) about her and you mention her to your close family, are you likely t...
A. 27 June 2009: Im not a guy btu I will answer anyway because I have 'experience' in this type of situation.
I dont think anyone can say if he is or wants to see anyone else based on his behaviour towards you. In my expeirnece, sometimes, a guy who texts you non ... (read in full...)
First date go on a ghost walk?
Q. I've just started chatting to this girl who seems to like me and I like her. This may sound a strange thing to do on a first meeting, but would it be acceptable if I asked her on a ghost walk? If not, what do you think and where would readers ...
A. 22 June 2009: Ok so going on a ghost walk is not what you would consider the norm, but being different to the norm doesnt make it a bad thing as such.
Do you know if shes into ghosts and all that type of thing? If so, then it might be a good idea. If shes not... (read in full...)
I'm obsessing about her sexual past
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for a little under a year and I find myself obsessing about her sexual past. We are both in our late 20s, so we’ve been through the highschool, college, and post-college freedom experiences. I’m sure that she ...
A. 16 June 2009: Just to clear something up, do you KNOW she has a past of sleeping around? Or do you just suspect it? Or are you worried about the unknown,thinking this could be a possibility?
If you arent sure about her sexual past, then you should start a ... (read in full...)
Guys, what does it mean?
Q. If a girl is standing somewhere focus on something, not really paying attention, and a guy reaches over her to get something and press his body against her butt. The girl took it as an accident and thought nothing of it. Then he did it again, and ...
A. 16 June 2009: Im not a guy but I think I can still give you an accurate opinion based on my experiences with guys.
It sounds like it was no accident what this guy did. Like you said, he did it twice and there was PLENTY of room for him to go around.
It does... (read in full...)
Mother trying to force her religious views on me and break up my marriage
Q. My mom (she's christen) doesn't like my wife (of 3 years) because she's atheist. My mom has been on my case about it since she read her facebook religious status. She says if I don't find someone who believes god or I'll cut out her will and I'll go ...
A. 15 June 2009: You are how old and you are pretending to your mother that you are a christian? i think that is half the problem. she probably thinks that since you apparantly beleive in god, heaven and hell, she probably thinks you would CARE about going to heaven ... (read in full...)
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