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*remor agony aunt


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*remor's profile:

What's to tell?

I've always found myself being the 'shoulder to cry on' in my little group of friends, and the role has grown on me. I like to help.

I like to think I have a healthy amount of common sense. I try to be practical when it comes to advice. I am currently in a long term, committed relationship, so I hope I know at least a little of what goes on when it comes to relationships - I seem to be doing alright so far. =)

I'm young - there are a lot of things I don't know, or have no experience with. But that is why I'm here - to learn, as well as to help.

Latest articles:

The language of fans - A solution to teenage drama?

This question has 2 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

17 July 2008: After reading an abnormal amount of questions along the lines of "He looked at me, does that mean he likes me?!", I got to thinking about how much easier life could be if there was some sort of way we could communicate emotions without confusion. ...

1234567891011Next > [10 pages, 376 answers]

During sex, should I put up with the pain to please him?

Q.   I'm a 16 year old girl and i recently lost my virginity to my 17 year old bf of 3 years. My problem is that i enjoyed my 1st time (and the other time after that) but i'm very tight so i experience a lot of pain during and after it. My bf luvs that ...

A.   23 October 2008: It is not 'your duty' to put up with pain in order to please him. You're his girlfriend, not a sex toy. It's not just for his pleasure - you should enjoy it too! Does he know that it hurts you? If not, tell him! How can he help stop it if he doesn... (read in full...)

He keeps asking for sex. Do you think I should have sex or should I wait?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with my BF for 5 months and we have known each other for 1 and half years. We have not have sex yet. But we have french kissed and cuddled. He keeps asking for sex. He says that we should take it further because it is a ...

A.   23 October 2008: It sounds to me like he way too damn keen to get in your pants, and is using dodgey arguments to put pressure on you. I disagree that french kissing in more intimate than sex. While french kissing is an intimate act, ultimately, it's just you guys... (read in full...)

Period was due 2 weeks ago and nothing has appeared! Am I pregnant?

Q.   I know that many of you have probably heard all this before but I'm worried I might be pregnant. I had unprotected sex about a month ago and I'm on no sort of permanent contraception. I was due on my period 2 weeks ago and yet nothing has appeared. ...

A.   23 October 2008: Stress can cause your period to be delayed. It may well be late because you are freaking out about pregnancy. The best thing you can do is go and see your doctor. They can let you know for sure whether you are pregnant or not, and if so, help you ... (read in full...)

Lost my virginity to him but I think ...he gave me a STD!!

Q.   I have been with this guy who I lost my virginity to for 6 months. Before I went to the doctor, I had sex with him about 10 times. I went over the summer and she said everything looked fine and I was negative for ghonnehrea and chlamydia. I also ...

A.   23 October 2008: It sounds like you may have a yeast infection. This can be passed on through sexual contact, but there are also other causes. See your doctor again to be sure.... (read in full...)

Can I get pregnant by doing this?

Q.   ok, so my boyfriend and i still havent had sex, and we have been together for a year and six months. well, we now have made some moves. like dry humping. i keep my pants on (which are sweats) and he pulls out his dick, so he can feel it b...

A.   22 October 2008: It's pretty much impossible for you to become pregnant this way. It would only be possible if some of the pre-cum managed to make its way through your pants, and into your vagina - HIGHLY unlikely. Sperm is resiliant, but it's not THAT resiliant. ... (read in full...)

Mom won't let me date a 30 year old guy!

Q.   my mom wont let me date a 30year old. I am 16 years old...

A.   17 October 2008: I'd be wary of any 30 year old who is willing to date a 16 year old.... (read in full...)

Do you think my ex is over me?

Q.   So i was going out with some guy for about 3 months and i broke up with him because i heard he was cheating on me and stuff. So after that he still kept calling me so i felt like we could still work things out but then i heard he was trying to go ...

A.   17 October 2008: It certainly sounds like it.... (read in full...)

Why would there be a condom wrapper under his bed? We haven't used them in months!

Q.   Okay I am seeing a guy, for quite a while now, almost half a year... he doesn't want a relationship, I'm having trouble coping. Either way my question is I found a condom wrapper under his bed, with HIS boxers. We don't use condoms, and I have been ...

A.   17 October 2008: Perhaps he just doesn't clean under his bed. I know my boyfriend and I have found wrappers under his bed from months back - very clean of us. Of course, if you check under his bed quite often (why were you looking under his bed anyway?) and it's... (read in full...)

What does a 'X' on its own in a text mean?!

Q.   This is probably a very silly question. A man I know who I'm friendly with and who I share occasional 'latest news' texts with has started sending me texts with just a big X all on its own in the text. Is he trying to tell me something? He's done ...

A.   17 October 2008: Generally, an 'X' is the text symbol for a kiss - just like when you write a letter and sign it 'x x x'. If you like him, you could respond in kind, or perhaps with an 'O' (a hug) instead and an invitation to go out for a drink.... (read in full...)

I suggested to my ex we meet for drinks and he said ok but only in a group.

Q.   Hoping people can help here. I broke up with my ex about a year ago and we have emailed occasionally. I ran into him in the mall the other day. I suggested we meet for drinks. He said that would be ok but only in a group... what is he implying by ...

A.   16 October 2008: It sounds like he is simply being wary of you. He may think you are trying to get back together, and going out as a group is his way of letting you know that he's not interested in trying again.... (read in full...)

Blowjobs or handjobs for uncircumcised or uncut men?

Q.   Blowjobs or handjobs for uncircumcised or uncut men. Help? Should you do things differently than with a circumcised penis? How? Please, help me out. Tips/techniques/general things to know are all welcome, as are websites. Thank you....

A.   16 October 2008: I'd say that one is pretty much like another. I've only ever been with an uncircumcised man, and have never had any trouble. Be a little careful when you pull the foreskin back, but otherwise, proceed as usual.... (read in full...)

Why didn't she text me after the movie?

Q.   I asked my girlfriend to txt me when she was done watching the movie she was watching with her family at her house and her brother started txting me around 8:00 and we got to talking and he told me the movie was done at 5:00! I talked to my ...

A.   14 October 2008: She probably just got involved in the movie and forgot. I wouldn't read into it too much.... (read in full...)

Why does it hurt everytime I have sex as much as the first time?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been having sex for about two weeks. We have done it about 8-9 times and every single time it hurts just as much as the first time. I don't understand why my body won't adjust and it seems that even if i take a little while ...

A.   7 October 2008: Perhaps you aren't lubricated enough. Do you do a lot of foreplay beforehand, or is he one of these 'touch her once and dive right in' types? It's important to make sure you are really good and wet, otherwise you get friction (ouch!). Perhaps try ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend proposed and I said no because I wasn't ready. I feel guilty.

Q.   My boyfriend of 3 years proposed to me. I told him no because i'm not ready to get married. I do feel a bit guilty cause he was a little upset. We've been fighting about dumb stuff (like who forget take out the trash.) What should I do? The guilt is ...

A.   7 October 2008: If you feel you aren't ready, then you have done the right thing by refusing him. A bit of guilt now will probably save you a lot of heartache later on. And remember that just because you've turned him down this time doesn't mean you've turned him ... (read in full...)

Halloween - Going as a sexy she devil. But what could he be?

Q.   I am going to be a Sexy She Devil for Halloween. My boyfriend kinda wants to match with me but we can't really come up with any ideas for what he could be. anyone got any ideas?? thanks a lot....

A.   7 October 2008: Maybe some kind of subserviant demon man. You could put him on a leash. =) Or you could go with the opposites and have him dress up as an angel.... (read in full...)

How much do guys fantasize about other women when they're having sex with their girlfriends?

Q.   How much do guys fantasize about other women when they're having sex with their girlfriends? I know I never think about other guys when I'm having sex with my boyfriend, but I'm curious about how it is for guys. I once asked my boyfriend, but he ...

A.   7 October 2008: You said you only think about him when you have sex - so why is it 'unrealistic' that he should do the same?... (read in full...)

Help! I don't want my girlfriend pregnant!!!

Q.   Im 17 years of age and sexually active. I'm the type of person that worries over everything; and i mean obsesssively. I've looked and researched into ways of making sure i'm careful as i have a very successful life which isn't ready for a ...

A.   6 October 2008: Your girlfriend is right - there's practically no chance she could get pregnant through something like that. Sperm is fairly resiliant - it has to be if it wants to have any chance of fertilizing anything - but it's not THAT resiliant. Once it's... (read in full...)

Will small breasts on a thin frame put people off?

Q.   My breasts are really small. Ive got quite a slim frame. Do you think it will put people off? :(...

A.   2 October 2008: Not at all! I'm the same way. When you have a slim frame, small boobs tend to suit you better. Anything bigger than a C cup makes you look like you're about to tip over. It's all about proportion. =) I'm sure that people (people meaning guys, I ... (read in full...)

I'm wondering what walks of life the aunts and uncles come from?

Q.   Dear posters, I think its wonderful to have people from different walks of life, to be able to come here and look at others situations with a different set of eyes. its great! On to my question, I was left wondering what each and every one of you...

A.   1 October 2008: Might as well join the fun. I'm 18, and I'm a receptionist - which means I get to answer the phone and be nice to people who are rude to me. I'm doing a Cert II in Business, which means I get crappy trainee wages, and that is why I still live wit... (read in full...)

What is happening to our relationship? Is it me or is it her?

Q.   Hi, I'm 17 and I've been going out with my girlfriend who is 16 for 7 months now and I truely love her. Recently, she has been getting very angry at me for no particular reason and blaming everything on me. Even though I am not doing anything...

A.   25 September 2008: To hazard a guess, it sounds to me like she's found someone else. Wanting to cut down in the physical side of things may make her feel less guilty about cheating, and it seems like she resents the time she spends with you - time she could be ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend hasn't said 'I love you' yet... is there something wrong?

Q.   I know people say i love you way to much.. but iv'e been with my bf for 2 months and he has never said i love you...i know he likes me a lot cause all his friends tell me how happy he is and how he always talks about me.. but i was wonderin...

A.   25 September 2008: Two months is not very long, as far as relationships go. 'I love you' isn't a phrase most people just throw around, and it takes a while to be certain. I know it took my boyfriend and I something like four, five months to get around to saying it. ... (read in full...)

Why do guys only like skinny, slutty girls and why don't they like overweight girls, who are great people on the inside? Any insights?

Q.   i want to know why guys are so mean and picky that they only like skinny girls that are slutty and why they don't like overweight girls. It really hurts my feelings that they judge me based on the way that i look and not whats on the inside, I ...

A.   24 September 2008: It's the eternal question, isn't it? But Danielepew has hit the nail on the head. They don't ALL go for the skinny girls or the easy girls, and the guys that do are not the sort of guys you want to associate with anyway. On the flip side, thoug... (read in full...)

If you were unsatisifed with your sex life, would you speak up? Or would you just get it elsewhere?

Q.   I've been with my boyfriend for 4.5 years and we've been having sex for the last four years (we waited a few months). Usually we have a very active, very experimental, very fun sex life. We both enjoy trying new things, and there have been stretches ...

A.   23 September 2008: He's been with you 4.5 years - if he was at all frustrated at the lack of action, don't you think he'd try and initiate something with you before he decided to get it somewhere else? If you are getting along well, you are happy, and there is still... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to masturbate for him, I do not think I do it right, could I have some advice regarding this topic?

Q.   My BF Wants me to masturbate for him1!!!! i cant do it! any tips on how too i mean i masturbate but i think i do it worng! help me...

A.   23 September 2008: What do you mean by doing it 'wrong'? I don't think there is a 'wrong' way, as such. So long as you enjoy it and get pleasure from it, you're probably alright. If you are worried or not comfortable with doing it in front of your boyfrien... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to take pictures of myself in my underwear. Is this wrong?

Q.   me and my boyfriend(8months) have a really good relationship atm, we havn't actually had sex yet as i want to wait 'til i'm 16, but we mess around and that, i'm fourteen and he's in the year above. i'm really not into all the sex stuff but i know he ...

A.   23 September 2008: If you are unsure about taking these pictures (or, indeed, anything else), then don't do it. It's your body, and it is up to you what you do with it or who you show it to. Because you mentioned that you don't like those kinds of pictures, I'd advise ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's ex is threatening to steal him from me. Help!

Q.   My Boyfriends Ex Girlfriend Told Me That She Has Seriously Thinking About Dating MY Boyfriend. She Told Me The Only Reason Why I Still Have Him Is Because She Knows Hes HAppy With Me. Heres Part Of The Converstaion fatel1: (09/21/2008 06...

A.   23 September 2008: Ask yourself this: If he is happy with you, WHY would he leave you for her? She is his ex, and that is probably for a reason. If she 'knows what he likes' then why did they break up? It sounds to me like this girl is just trying to stir things u... (read in full...)

Am I doing the right thing by using words instead of violence, even though it hurts my pride?

Q.   Hi. This isn't exactly a relationship question, but it is linked to my relationship. The other night, me and the girl I've been seeing for a couple of months were in a club, and this guy comes up to us and starts chatting to us both. He was qui...

A.   23 September 2008: I wouldn't worry - I think that any girl you are with would be quite impressed that you aren't some hulking beast who'll throw a punch at anything. Most of us would much rather enjoy a night out, instead of having to nurse a guy who's had the ... (read in full...)

I'm worried that my brother might be gay because he doesn't like 'man' things.

Q.   Hi, my little brother is now turning 12 and sometimes I am really woried because he acts like a homosexual. He doesnt like cars, sports or any of those man things. Insted he likes cooking, helping in the house, fix clothes, HE LIKES EVERYTHING TO ...

A.   22 September 2008: Just because he doesn't like 'man' things and has female friends doesn't mean he is gay. It's a stereotype that gay men like cooking and clothing - they can just as easily like cars and sports. It's not a person's interests that define their ... (read in full...)

I'm 14, he's 16, and I really don't care what people in school say, we just really want a baby.

Q.   I am 14 years old and my boyfriend is 16. we really want a baby. we have picked out a baby name and everything. i know my mom and dad would be really upset with me, but i really want this, so i dont know what to do. I mean everyone is always t...

A.   22 September 2008: If you really want a baby that much, you should be willing to wait. For the sake of the baby, wait until you have a stable income (i.e. a full-time job), a safe and happy family environment (this does NOT mean you living with your parents)... (read in full...)

Any suggestions to minimise the mess?

Q.   Hi I often my boyfirend and I are kissing and one thing leads to another and I end up giving him a hand job whilst he's fingering me. But I hate it when he cums everywhere its a real hassel to clean up. Any suggestions to minimise the mess? I don'...

A.   21 September 2008: That's always a sticky question isn't it? Hur hur, sorry, I couldn't help myself. The best thing I can think of is to try and get him to finish on his stomach, or, if you're into it, your stomach. Other body parts can work to, but the torso ar... (read in full...)

Copulation, contraception, lies, and paranoia.

Q.   I've, as most everyone one has, heard the rumors about contraception and sex. I've had quite a few lies told to me by even teachers, and even more by peers. I would like to know simply the facts. If, and this is still only a thought on the h...

A.   20 September 2008: Using a condom at /any/ time during your cycle will greatly reduce your risk of pregnancy and STDS if you use it correctly - That is, get the right size, apply it properly, and use a lot of lubricant to prevent it splitting. Good on you for want... (read in full...)

I'm used to my girlfriend forgiving me after I abuse her, but this time she's fed up. What do I do?

Q.   Hi everyone. I've been with this girl for 3 years now. We have a child together. I love her dearly and want to marry her. She does everything for me. She let's me want for nothing. We have the same religious background which is wonderful (first girl ...

A.   19 September 2008: ...I really don't know where to start. It's hard to understand why you think you have any chances left with this woman. You supposedly love her dearly, and yet you belittle her, abuse her, and cheat on her. What gives you the right to flip out ... (read in full...)

What is your opinion on a 15 year old sleeping with a 17 year old?

Q.   Hi DearCupid, I was wondering how you all feel about a fifteen year old being sexually active with a seventeen year old, just want your opinions. K, thank you (:...

A.   19 September 2008: I've always kinda felt that 15 is too young to be having sex. It's one of those ages that's right on the cusp - not /quite/ old enough to be having sex, but not quite young enough not to. But if you are certain, committed, and using protecti... (read in full...)

Can you get pregnant if you have sex on your period?

Q.   Could you get pregnant if you have sexual contact while on ur period?...

A.   19 September 2008: Yes. You can get pregnant at any point during your cycle.... (read in full...)

I don't want anyone to know about my previous marriage...

Q.   Unfortunately, I will be getting a divorce soon. I've been married for almost 6 years and my family does not know about it. My family, being my parents and siblings. I wish to keep this confidential, especially to my future gf/fiance/wife. Is this ...

A.   19 September 2008: What is the point of getting married if you aren't going to tell anyone? And how did you manage to keep it a secret for SIX YEARS? Did you keep the poor girl in a closet or something? Keeping it a secret is a bad idea, particularly if you keep it ... (read in full...)

This girl is all over him, and he does nothing to stop it. Is he cheating on me?

Q.   ok so me and my bf have been together since last year. and honestly i KNOW (underline) that he is the love of my life. recently he has had 4 ppl tell him that they like him. no big right? right. well iv herd from some of my bestfriends tell me...

A.   19 September 2008: Happy to help. I'm glad it worked out for you. =)... (read in full...)

How do I get a perfectly shaven vagina?

Q.   This is sorta embarrassing, I feel like I should know how to do this already! Here goes... I have only ever shaved my vagina once. I let it grow right back out and it got all itchy and pretty much put me off doing it again. But now that I'm old...

A.   19 September 2008: It really depends what you mean by 'perfectly shaven'. Are we just talking neat and tidy here, or do you mean going bald? I've always found that a trim works fine, if you're happy to have a bit of fur down there. Use small, round-nose scissors... (read in full...)

Her parents think we are kissing too soon....are we??

Q.   I have not told my gf that I love her yet but I did tell her that I wanted to kiss her even though we kissed one time but she thought it was too soon. I told her I wanted to kiss her at homecoming and she said "Yeah i really wanted to kiss you too, ...

A.   19 September 2008: Her parents are probably just trying to protect her, which is understandable, even if they do seem to be going a wee bit over the top. How long have you been dating, and how soon is 'too soon'? If you've been dating more than maybe a month, t... (read in full...)

How can a 13 year old find the right guy?

Q.   Hi. Im 13 and fell in love for the first time. the guy i love broke my heart and we went out five times. each time i fell for his tricks. and im trying not to again. i dont understand why i dont feel the agonizeing pain like i did before. and i can ...

A.   19 September 2008: You can never tell for certain whether a guy will be 'the right one'. That's why we date them - to find out. My advice in that regard is to look for a guy who you can talk to easily or have a joke with, and who you don't feel like you have to change ... (read in full...)

I got called a fat cow and now I'm I overweight??

Q.   Well, i just wanted to no if you think im over weight, Im 14 nearly 15, im 7 stone 2 Lbs and 5"4-5, i think im pretty chubby for my height and age, all my friends tell me im not fat and that im skinny, but the other day this person called me a fat ...

A.   19 September 2008: 7 stone 2 pounds? Hang on while I convert that... That's 100 pounds, which is only like 45-46 kilos. Dear me love, you're not even CLOSE to fat. If anything, you're probably closer to underweight. Just because someone called you fat doesn't ... (read in full...)

This girl is all over him, and he does nothing to stop it. Is he cheating on me?

Q.   ok so me and my bf have been together since last year. and honestly i KNOW (underline) that he is the love of my life. recently he has had 4 ppl tell him that they like him. no big right? right. well iv herd from some of my bestfriends tell me...

A.   18 September 2008: What exactly do you mean when you say this girl is 'all over him'? Have you seen her do it, or is it just word of mouth? Remember that teenage boys, and teenage girls, for that matter, are creatures of reputation. Perhaps your boyfriend is afrai... (read in full...)

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