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The death of my pet caused me to perform terribly at work!

Q.   Hi everyone. This is a coworker relationship question. Nothing romantic. Just wasn't sure where to go to ask this as I like going here. I started this job about two months ago. It is a unique job. Without getting into too many details, I...

A.   21 June 2018: Tell them you have lost your pet and appologize for not being at your best because of it. They won't be able to understand if they don't know what's going on with you. They don't know you well yet, so they can only judge on what they see at work. If ... (read in full...)

I don't want a boyfriend, I'm not interested in sex and I just want to be left alone!

Q.   I have absolutely no interest in sex and while I've had it before, I'm honestly disgusted by it. The whole thing: having people in my bubble, having a face too close to mine, random unnecessary touches, kissing is just gross to me. I don't like the ...

A.   21 June 2018: It sounds like you are asexual, which means you like companionship, emotional intimacy and cuddles, but nothing more sexual and have no desire for sex. That is 100% ok. I disagree with some Aunts who said you can't have cuddles and a romantic... (read in full...)

I hate my boyfriend’s best friend and don’t want him at my wedding!

Q.   I got engaged to my boyfriend and we are currently planning the wedding, making guest lists etc. My partner wishes to invite his best friend to the wedding. The thing is i can’t stand being in the same room as my fiancées best friend as he severely ...

A.   21 June 2018: Does your fiance know that his best friend bullied you? Being bullied is nor pleasent, and it can leave lasting effects on self esteem. I can understand why you would not want a person who caused deliberate harm at your wedding. Some Aunts here have ... (read in full...)

How do I distract myself from his absence?

Q.   I have been dating this guy for 4 months now and he is going on vacation for 6 weeks. What should I do during that time that won't make me sad or depressed that he is gone?...

A.   8 June 2018: You're being smart, asking for ideas for things to do to keep busy while you're apart. You don't want to dwell on his absence. A healthy relationship involves being able to enjoy time apart so you can both do things separately with other friends and ... (read in full...)

Everyone around me seems to want to sabotage me.

Q.   Hello, this is less a romantic question and more of a coping question. Due to some mistakes I’ve made and struggles I keep having, I had to move into a homeless shelter. I’m going to call it The Haven and I want to make it clear that any names and ...

A.   8 June 2018: It sounds like you did the right thing moving out from living with Andrew. It sounds like he wanted a romantic relationship with you and his behavior sounds controlling. If you need your post and documents, do you have a mutual acquaintance who ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend ignores me for computer games, should I be upset?

Q.   Hi, I feel like this is a bit of a strange question and I'm not sure if I am allowed to feel this way or not. Hopefully you can shed some light for me. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and recently moved in together 3 years ago. I fe...

A.   8 June 2018: I came across a website that has good advice... http://www.techaddiction.ca/boyfriend-husband-addicted-to-video-games.html... (read in full...)

Boyfriend ignores me for computer games, should I be upset?

Q.   Hi, I feel like this is a bit of a strange question and I'm not sure if I am allowed to feel this way or not. Hopefully you can shed some light for me. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 years and recently moved in together 3 years ago. I fe...

A.   23 May 2018: I tried answering this question earlier, but my answer has not appeared. So I will try to answer it again as best as I can. .. I've been where you are. I could have written your question 10 years ago when I was with a man for 3 years who was obse... (read in full...)

My ex said hurtful things about my body. I'm self conscious and my get up and go has gone

Q.   I I hope you guys don't mind me asking for advice. I have been feeling low since splitting with my ex around 5 month ago, I have lost my get up and go and I work and then come home and that's it or I go to bed and fall asleep crying. My ex said I ...

A.   14 May 2018: Those men in your life who told you that you are ugly and no good were 100% WRONG! You are a perfect, beautiful woman exactly how you are, without changing a single thing. Only you get to decide if you want to change your appearance, and you don't ... (read in full...)

This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?

Q.   Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...

A.   18 December 2017: Thank you Honeypie. You have helped so much. I have no one else to talk to about this as everyone in my life knows him... I did meet up with him today, briefly. I wanted to see what he would say and how it would feel to see him. It was not good... (read in full...)

This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?

Q.   Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...

A.   17 December 2017: I have heard of a mean drunk, and that does describe him. He has made jokes at my expense, spoken to me in mean ways, not let me go to sleep because he wanted to argue, and has tried to throw me out in the middle of the night, whilst drunk. He has ... (read in full...)

This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?

Q.   Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...

A.   11 December 2017: Ok, the reason for not leaving immediately was because it had been snowing and I did not want to walk up a snowy, icy hill in the dark to get home. In the end, when I started walking he felt bad, appologized and convinced me to stay the night. I ... (read in full...)

This is the second abusive relationship I've been in. Am I picking the wrong type of men?

Q.   Last night my boyfriend punched me in the mouth. I've left him. He asked me not to leave. But I said I have to be alone right now. It came about after an argument over a male friend of mine. My boyfriend said that my face lit up when my friend a...

A.   10 December 2017: Thanks for your advice. The reason I got angry was because he had been having a go at me for most if the night, then when I'd had enough, I tried to go to bed but he wouldn't let me, he wanted to keep arguing, and then he told me to get out, in the ... (read in full...)

The sex is just not working out. What are we doing wrong?

Q.   My boyfriend often complains that we don't have enough sex. But he doesn't initiate ot, or try to turn me on. The other day we were hugging in bed then he rolled over, saying that he had to because he was horny ... like, sex could've happened if he ...

A.   18 September 2017: Thanks. I had a talk with him today and told him if he wants more sex he needs to initiate it by making moves on me. It's really annoying and a turn off when he complains that we "don't have enough sex" and makes little sarcastic comments about it, ... (read in full...)

Why do guys keep breaking up with me?

Q.   Why do guys keep on either playing me or just break up with me?...

A.   9 August 2015: It is hard to say without more detail on your past relationships. I'll try to help from my personal experience. I have been played or humped n dumped a few times. My guess as to why, is that I only sleep with guys who I am strongly attracted to, ... (read in full...)

What makes a man fall in love with a woman and want only her?

Q.   What makes a man fall in love with a woman and want only her?...

A.   7 August 2015: I think there is no one person who can fulfil every relationship need and desire we each have. Each person we connect with will complement different parts of ourselves. I guess what makes us choose to stay with someone is when there is a strong ... (read in full...)

Should I stop having a FWB relationship? Or go with the flow?

Q.   I've only been in two serious relationships... One ended because my ex forced me to give him head a few times and told me he was using me for sex. The other guy was recent, he was my everything, but I go to college out of state and it ruined us. He ...

A.   12 March 2015: I won't hold promiscuity against men, because I respect the fact that they are adults capable and allowed to make their own decisions about what they do with their body. I accept a man's sexual past and require he accepts mine, or how can you love ... (read in full...)

Should I stop having a FWB relationship? Or go with the flow?

Q.   I've only been in two serious relationships... One ended because my ex forced me to give him head a few times and told me he was using me for sex. The other guy was recent, he was my everything, but I go to college out of state and it ruined us. He ...

A.   11 March 2015: I'm just wondering what would happen if we turned anonymous's statement around and said: "Most girls like promiscuous guys when they want to be promiscuous, not when they want a boyfriend. A casual sex reputation will hurt your appeal among girl... (read in full...)

Should I stop having a FWB relationship? Or go with the flow?

Q.   I've only been in two serious relationships... One ended because my ex forced me to give him head a few times and told me he was using me for sex. The other guy was recent, he was my everything, but I go to college out of state and it ruined us. He ...

A.   11 March 2015: Sorry I just have to interject with anonymous saying... "A casual sex reputation will hurt your appeal among guys looking for anything committed. And that problem will not go away if you stop sleeping around later. It's unattractive that you were... (read in full...)

Why does every girl I like only want to be friends?

Q.   So what should I do about my terrible luck with girls? Why does every girl I like or show interest in chose not to date, too busy, or just want to be friends. For example there was a shop I worked at, girl A would come by everyday, never bought a...

A.   11 March 2015: Aw man you have had a run of bad luck. Don't blame yourself, I think life just isn't fair to some people. But don't be disheartened. You sound to be doing the right things. Girls obviously enjoy your company, it's just unfortunate you've not met a ... (read in full...)

Is it okay to send your boyfriend a video of you masturbating?

Q.   Would you consider it okay to send your boyfriend who is away for a few weeks on business a naughty video of you masturbating? Just to keep the spark going and to give him something to look forward to when he comes back?...

A.   10 March 2015: I really wouldn't, simply because once it's recorded, it is entirely possible for it to end up being viewed by someone other than your boyfriend. That would have repercussions for you down the road. Worst case scenario it gets out there after you ... (read in full...)

I bought the ticket, now I am not sure if I should go or not!

Q.   This isn't really a big relationship questions, but it's bothering me a lot. I met this guy from Germany last month, he was travelling around my country with his friends and we hung out a lot, eventually made out and had a really fun week togethe...

A.   31 August 2014: Oh no, that's an awkward situation. Yeah it sounds like at the time he was really up for you going to Peru to see him, but at the same time, like he didn't expect you to actually go for real. You said he changed his travel plans to come to visit you ... (read in full...)

I'm worried I may be paranoid about them laughing behind my back.

Q.   Basically I met this group of girls through my job. I've been there about 8 months now and I would like to think I get on with everyone, however, generally I just do my work and go home. I don't do 'office gossip' if you will. I am quite introverted ...

A.   31 August 2014: It sounds like they are a bit cliquey. You may be being a bit paranoid, but then again, they could be a little bitchy or gossipy about you, as you sound like you are new to their group and are not yourself around them. It seems to be pretty common ... (read in full...)

I think I like my BEStfriend

Q.   I think I might have a crush on my bestfriend, we flirt sometimes with each other But We never catch ourselves.. it just comes naturally, anyways we've been bestfriend for like 2 years And I think Im starting to Develope a crush on her, because I ...

A.   31 August 2014: Do you think you like her enough to be your girlfriend? If not, then maybe it's better to just stay friends. But if you think you really like her, and want to start dating, you should do something about it, or you will always wonder what if. If you ... (read in full...)

He lied about studying so he could go out with a friend

Q.   Hello, my boyfriend lied to me today..In the morning I was at his place (we don´t live together) and he told me to go home, because he had to learn a lot (he´s ending the college so I understand) but then when we were lying next to each other, he ...

A.   4 May 2014: It's not great that he lied. But I guess he could be planning to study before he goes out in the evening. If he wants to go out with a friend by himself, that is fine. But he should have said to you that he wants to study AND see his friend. T... (read in full...)

I rarely see my boyfriend, is this a rough patch?

Q.   Hi everyone, Lately I've been find it hard to cope with how much I'm seeing my boyfriend. We've been dating for a year now and recently he got a new position at work which has limited the time we see each other. We use to see each other almost ev...

A.   4 May 2014: As he has recently changed jobs, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt and say he's being an arse because he's stressed because of his current workload and all the new things he has to think about. Give him a few weeks to adjust and see if things ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend isn't supportive of me when I'm shy and socially awkward

Q.   Dear cupids, I really hope you can help me because I'm quite upset at the moment. I am 27 and really quite shy. I've always been like this, and although I've tried lots of things to become more confident such as online courses and self help books ...

A.   20 October 2013: Hi there. You sound very much the same as me. I also used to have a boyfriend who was very loud, confident and charming. People loved him. Sometimes he also got frustrated with me for my shyness and couldn't understand why I couldn't just, go and ... (read in full...)

My question is did he like me or what is going on with him?

Q.   Hi Agony Aunts and Uncles! I have a question about a boy. He’s friends with one of my housemates and last week he came to visit. I'm shorter than most people, just over 4 foot in height by the way. My housemate and me are like brother and sister a...

A.   14 October 2013: Let me get this straight... This guy is supposed to have a girlfriend, but he didn't mention her at all in his visit. Then he was speaking to you and not to any other girls, but later at this party he kissed another girl? Ok, if he has a girl... (read in full...)

How can I tell him that the one night stand meant nothing?

Q.   I'm after a little bit of advice. I really have messed up and don't know how or if I can fix this. I really like this guy, but I thought he had made it clear that he wasn't interested in me. His best mate started flirting with me and I stupidly...

A.   4 September 2012: Pfft if he's gone off you because you had a one night stand months ago, he's not the guy for you. If he really liked you, it wouldn't put him off you. Maybe he's just not that into you. Wait and see. If he's really into you he will want to be with ... (read in full...)

Ladies: What does it feel like to not be over a relationship?

Q.   What does it feel like to "not be over" a previous relationship for girls? I met someone 4 months ago. We've only met 5, may be 6 times during the first 2 months. Since then just texts and a seldom phone call. At first I thought she had ...

A.   25 August 2012: Don't assume that because she is "not over" her ex, that she truly wants to get back with him or wishing he was calling her and spending time with her. I also split from a 3 year relationship and I knew it was the right thing to do and still do now, ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about the size of my penis

Q.   hi, so im worried about my penis size... im 19 still a virgin, i have recieved oral sex before and im just worried about the size of my penis, its roughly (ive never had it measured by a doctor) 3 inches depending on how warm/cold i am, i might get ...

A.   25 August 2012: Don't be.... (read in full...)

After nine months, and after hearing it from me, my boyfriend still hasn't said he loves me!

Q.   OK I have a lovely boyfriend who treats me great, generous, affectionate goes out of his way to drive 2hrs to see me every weekend , invites me to family events and I've even been invited me to his friends wedding next year! But after 9 months he ...

A.   21 August 2012: Aw actions speak louder than words. Love is a very subjective thing. Perhaps he feels that love is something which takes a longer time to develop and is cautious to say it now when your relationship is still fairly new. I know to some people 9 ... (read in full...)

How do I get my mom to send me to a mental ward?

Q.   Lately depression has been taking control again, it's been really hard to fight it again. I've always been a negative person, which makes it harder for me to deal with depression, or the begining of it even. I'm happy, usually a while in a day, but ...

A.   20 August 2012: Do not think of a mental ward as a clam place to heal. They are not. I've been there, trust me. You will be with people who have much worse problems and to see that when you are depressed will be traumatic. It should be a last resort for when there ... (read in full...)

How does the drug Ecstasy affect the body?

Q.   Hi, just curious... what exactly is ecstasy? I don't plan on taking it, but I'm just curious because I'll see commercials for Trojans Ecstasy condoms, and I want to know exactly what it does, not the condoms, but the actual drug. I've seen questi...

A.   15 August 2012: Good point chigirl. With uncontrolled drugs like ecstasy, you are taking a gamble every time, as they are not controlled substances, they could contain anything. One dodgy pill and that could be it, you could be dead or a basket case. Which is why, ... (read in full...)

Is this a FWB or an actual relationship?

Q.   Hi,this could be confusing, but im confused too, sooo here it goes ive been seeing this guy as a friends with benefits since may 26th 2012, its now august 2nd, and were still seing eachother as that. I am falling for him and im not sure what i ...

A.   14 August 2012: In this vein thought, don't ALL relationships start off as FWB, because feelings of love take a long time to develop? Many people don't hold off on sex at the start of relationships but you still have no idea if this is the person you want to be ... (read in full...)

How does the drug Ecstasy affect the body?

Q.   Hi, just curious... what exactly is ecstasy? I don't plan on taking it, but I'm just curious because I'll see commercials for Trojans Ecstasy condoms, and I want to know exactly what it does, not the condoms, but the actual drug. I've seen questi...

A.   14 August 2012: In my personal experience, ecstasy is my favourite drug, in it's pure form. Yes you can get bad pills mixed with all sorts or with no mdma in at all, but when you get the good ones, they are good. It's called ecstasy for a reason. Everyone ... (read in full...)

Ever since the split My anxiety has went up! Will I ever learn to calm down and move on?

Q.   I was with my boyfriend for 6 years, I loved him very much but we have now been split for 4 months now, I feel like my life is crashing down, although the split was both what we wanted and I wouldn't go back I'm still finding it hard. I seem to be ...

A.   14 August 2012: You will. Give yourself time. This will pass. Find yourself a distraction. Something to focus on and get very involved in. Keep as busy as possible and in time you will feel better. If you feel totally overwhelmed get yourself to the doctors and ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend fondles himself constantly

Q.   My boyfriend has this habit of fondling his penis all the time. Even in non-sexual situations like when he's reading a book or just having a drink, he has his hand on his penis, fondling it or playing with it. It embarrasses me since he does it ...

A.   13 August 2012: It is a habit, non sexual. my ex used to do it and was very open about it, after we got to know each other. He would do it if we were just hanging out at home, not in public though, lol. If it really bothers you, try telling him. If he can't/won't ... (read in full...)

My twin sister and I are dating twin brothers. Is that weird?

Q.   We are identical twins and the guys we are with (4 months) are identical twins and we only just found out because we hadn't met each other's boyfriends before and I'm not sure what we all think of it. It's a bit strange. What should we do?...

A.   30 July 2012: Highly unlikely, but stranger things have happened.... (read in full...)

He was mean to me. Sent me dirt nasty text. So I did something he called spiteful. Was I wrong to do that?

Q.   Two months ago I met this guy at the birthday party. He seems nice and we exchaged phone numbers! We met three times, and afterward I tried to avoid him (i thought he was difficult and feel like all he wants is just have sex!) And here's a deal...

A.   29 July 2012: I have to agree with Cerberus and shordingerscat on this one. You stood up for yourself, and you had every right to. The text was extremely inappropriate for a guy to send to someone he'd just met. I don't see how it could possibly be a joke either. ... (read in full...)

Do you think this Work colleague likes me, after he said my husband, "would be crazy to not love me"?

Q.   I'm a 35 year old married lady though not happily and on my way out of a marriage. I just got chatting with a collegue and as part of a conversation i said 'i dont thing my husband loves me' and he said 'He'd be crazy not to' Do you think he has f...

A.   29 July 2012: Ah, just saw your follow up. Well there's your answer. He wants something to happen with you obviously. You are a desirable woman to him. However, you are still a married lady, who is unhappy in her marriage. I know it may be tempting to continue ... (read in full...)

Do you think this Work colleague likes me, after he said my husband, "would be crazy to not love me"?

Q.   I'm a 35 year old married lady though not happily and on my way out of a marriage. I just got chatting with a collegue and as part of a conversation i said 'i dont thing my husband loves me' and he said 'He'd be crazy not to' Do you think he has f...

A.   29 July 2012: He could just be trying to give you an emotional boost as he cares about you since you've been sharing your problems with him. Or maybe he could see your good qualities and beauty and is being honest when he says your hub would be crazy not to love ... (read in full...)

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