New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login238711 questions, 1053675 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*2DuszJ agony aunt

*2DuszJ

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *2DuszJ to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *2DuszJ a private message

*2DuszJ's Ratings

Rating: 7.83

Excellent72%
Average9%
Poor19%
*2DuszJ's profile:

123456Next > [6 pages, 210 answers]

Our sexual needs are different

Q.   My girl friend and I got in an argument last night about sex. I get tired it’s me who wants sex. She never starts it, and now she is too tired, because of work, one full time job an one part time job. I realize that, but now it’s the holidays. She ...

A.   11 December 2017: You know that saying, sex happens between the ears not the legs? If you have a good sex life usually and that's CHANGED, that indicates there's something going on in her head- that or she has a medical condition.. there is nothing someone's too ... (read in full...)

Do I owe her an apology?

Q.   Dear cupid, Guys I've done something stupid and I don't know how to make it up. I feel like I am a dirt bag for this but I feel like I was being taken advantage of and I lashed out. See I've kind of sort of been seeing this girl for the past 7 m...

A.   11 December 2017: Yes- you're being too nice. You know how their are so many male "players" out there? Well there's a good amount of female players/ man eaters.. I don't think you've found a great girl here. Look- imagine you were REALLY into a girl (like this one... (read in full...)

My ex's actions make me feel like I was never worth fighting for

Q.   Hi guys, So this is an ongoing problem with my ex bf that has left me feeling confused, angry, resentful, but mostly hurt, and I need advice on how to deal with the situation. So earlier this year, I posted on this website about whether or no...

A.   4 December 2017: He's his own person and we can throw all kinds of clichés at you that will relate to people time and time again. I.e you can't make the horse drink etc. Look if he went out shagging girls left right centre whilst lying to you would THAT be your ... (read in full...)

What do I do and say? His depression is hard to deal with

Q.   I need help. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 months and a bit more , and I love him so much but he has depression . I help him as much as I can and I’m here for him all the time but he always complains to me how he feels and I understand that he’s ...

A.   3 December 2017: As another one of gazillions that suffer from depression I want to state that you CAN'T cure him- the only thing that can help him is professional help- and at his age without professional help, understanding and control over his illness, there's ... (read in full...)

He wants me to trust him but he doesn't behave as someone that I can trust!

Q.   Hello. Thank you for taking the time to read my post. I've been seeing my current boyfriend off and on for about eight months now. During that time we have had several breakups. Once over him being too flirty with another girl as I stood by as a ...

A.   3 December 2017: He can't even stay FAITHFUL after 8 months? Well WHY does he deserve your trust? Or one more minute of your time, out of your LIFE? He's a cheat. That's all there is to it. Use your brain, gather your courage and get out now, before he hooks yo... (read in full...)

My pretty friend gets constant attention. How do I cope?

Q.   This is long but I feel that details and some background info are important to get an understanding for some answers. This is not your typical, my friend is evidently prettier than me story. I have a friend who is very pretty. She's not a supe...

A.   3 December 2017: This is an insecurity issue.. if someone is naturally pretty and goes out with painted lips and curls, they ARE going to turn heads and shouldn't affect you like this! If she dresses to show off her figure in a slutty way that is going to get her ... (read in full...)

Should I have an affair with a married man?

Q.   This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...

A.   3 December 2017: By the way if a married guy came onto me i would tell his wife what a sleazy piece of shit she's married to... (read in full...)

Should I have an affair with a married man?

Q.   This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...

A.   3 December 2017: You may be young and impressionable but you're old enough to have a husband yourself- how would YOU feel if you were this guy's WIFE?? I tell you if you were how would you feel about him? Guessing you would hate his guts and see him for the JERK he ... (read in full...)

The boyfriend and the friend who doesn't know we're together: I want to be put first for once

Q.   One of my boyfriends friends and I don't get along because of things that happened in the past between us, so we mutually agreed not to speak to one another. My boyfriend tells me that he likes the guy, but they aren't that close. I don't mind them ...

A.   2 December 2017: You're dead right- a true lover will ALWAYS have your back and defend you against poisonous words/ people. He is upholding this guy's wishes and demands ABOVE YOURS-in turn showing you great disloyalty. Closeted? Nah.. There s a reason for the ... (read in full...)

He chose my friend over me but now I think he likes me

Q.   Me and this boy went out for about a month then broke up,he then turned for me for help cos he liked my friend.I got jealousy missed him and told him I love him.whilst he was making up his mind we were making out at mine.he then decided know and ...

A.   1 December 2017: Woah. Cut your actions short.. you don't seem to understand that you're CHEATING ON YOUR BF and that's NOT OK. At any age. This is the thing.. no matter how mature you think you are, you are going through massive biological changes, and your rag... (read in full...)

Should I treat this like I just got out of a BPD relationship or am I going about evaluating this situation wrong?

Q.   I am in high school right now and my first girlfriend recently broke up with me. We dated for about a month and a half and the way she broke up with me was not what anybody does to anybody else. I'm trying to understand and make sense of why this ...

A.   24 November 2017: Mate, look at her health issues.. she's got a LOT on her plate and focusing on school is hard enough, let alone a full blown relationship.. you guys are ridiculously young anyway.. She's been DIAGNOSED with those two conditions- NOT BPD. AS someo... (read in full...)

I'm in a horribly abusive relationship and I need a way out for me and my daughter

Q.   Hi basically just looking for some advise plz, I really don't know what to do or how to. Basically I haven't been happy with my partner we have been arguing lately quiet a lot we have a small child but the arguments ain't in front of her as he ...

A.   24 November 2017: The strength needs to come from wanting to PROTECT YOUR DAUGHTER. And yourself while you're at at- she needs her mum. THIS has gone beyond abusive relationship THIS is a survival issue- this man is a psycho and we need to be doing more in this ... (read in full...)

Head over heels in love with my teacher!

Q.   Hello everyone, I'm a bachelor student. I am sorry for my grammar mistakes. First of all, I want to say that during my school and HS years I've never had this feeling before. Last year, I met one of the best persons and teachers in the world. She is ...

A.   24 November 2017: This is infatuation and will wear off. You obsessing is futile, because she's not going to give up the family, the career she LOVES for an infatuated student. If she did start anything with you, it would come out eventually and she would lose BOT... (read in full...)

Lost my virginity and I didn't even enjoy it but now I'm wondering if I could be pregnant

Q.   I just lost my virginity, tbh it was painful and i never enjoyed it at all, according to my friend its because he never did foreplay. Even though i was not satisfied, apparently he was because he came on the inside of my thighs. The cum wasn't alot ...

A.   22 November 2017: It's unlikely pre cum but POSSIBLE. NEVER TAKE THE RISK. Unless you want to be THAT girl with the baby/ abortion See your Doctor for contraceptive advice- yes it does hurt the first time for EVERYONE. But if you're going to be doing this regularl... (read in full...)

I wasn't interested dating because I might move soon but looks like I'm in a relationship now!

Q.   So I am a 24 year old guy who had no intentions of dating anyone, because I did not want to start anything during this time in my life. I started working at a part time job and met this girl who I talked to from time to time, who eventually asked...

A.   22 November 2017: I agree with N91- the first thing I thought when I read your post is how selfish that would be .. you to lead her on when you KNOW it's just "fun" for you.. Listen you have admitted to YOURSELF that due to circumstances it's not really going to... (read in full...)

I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...

A.   21 November 2017: https://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/... (read in full...)

I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...

A.   21 November 2017: Of course they really liked each other.. they were husband and wife.. there were obviously GOOD times in their relationship which they wanted to celebrate! In the same way you do when you have a good time with your friends.. pictures/ relics don't ... (read in full...)

I've never cheated but my husband is accusing me off it because he says I am "loose"

Q.   am a young woman of 25yrs I have two children all through c section,av never slept with any other man for the past six years.my spouse is accusing me of cheating because my vagaina is loose he had started an affair outside..am shattered what can be ...

A.   21 November 2017: Not calling you dumb, btw but that's how HE sees you, you'll blindly accept his crap... (read in full...)

I've never cheated but my husband is accusing me off it because he says I am "loose"

Q.   am a young woman of 25yrs I have two children all through c section,av never slept with any other man for the past six years.my spouse is accusing me of cheating because my vagaina is loose he had started an affair outside..am shattered what can be ...

A.   21 November 2017: You're being cheated on and emotionally and psychologically ABUSED. Look into divorce and child support. Your husband is a piece of shit and should NOT be around to INFLUENCE your children. Be strong, find a women's shelter because my betting?... (read in full...)

My confidence is wrecked, I regret telling people the truth about my ex boyfriend.

Q.   I just want to vent about a situation that still bothers me. Basically I had a 6 month relationship with a guy I worked with. He was the first person I'd been with after my marriage broke up. I guess because I was vulnerable and feeling really crap ...

A.   20 November 2017: Don't worry, THEY are not your problem. They have loose trousers and loose morals, and one day, they will get a taste of what they dish.. they might be all lusty and smug now but what goes up must come down.. they're not going to have their ... (read in full...)

Triangle friendship double cross!

Q.   Ive been friends with my friend (Samantha) for 5 years and its really had its ups and downs throughout the years but things started to get worse, the competitiveness, the jealousy etc. We love each other very much but there is a lot negativity and ...

A.   20 November 2017: Why don't you find something other than bitching about other people to talk about? You're an adult, you're not 14, why not talk about life, common interests, discussions rather than hurtful two-faced talk.. I think if you want Sam back, she need... (read in full...)

Sick of being ignored, what do I have to do?

Q.   I think I give off a “don’t be my friend” vibe, though I say hi and am polite? All my life people have avoided me, socially and socially at work and in group or social events, like I have A flashing sign “avoid her” I was bullied and social...

A.   20 November 2017: Do you have any hobbies, do you take an interest in the world? I think if you immerse yourself in something you find interesting, you'll naturally feel you have more to say, and if you're INTERESTED in what you're saying, it will be natural and ... (read in full...)

Lost my virginity to a man I don't know or like very much

Q.   How do I cope? I recently lost my virginity to a guy I barely knew and i regret it so much.i don't feel innocent anymore. And the worst part of it is i lost to the wrong guy,i always assumed i would lose it to someone i loved so much and it would be ...

A.   20 November 2017: Look, you're VERY young and you made a mistake.. MOST people that lose their virginity REGRET how and with whom it happened.. Take a positive out of this! You now know that sex without love ISN'T for you, that you will say NO to promiscu... (read in full...)

I have been having an affair with a woman for 7 years and I am content. Is this strange?

Q.   I have been the male equivalent of a mistress for the past 7 years. Is it strange that I don't mind? I havent dated or even tried to date because I am just fine with having her a few times a month. I am 42 years old and never been married, but I ...

A.   20 November 2017: Honestly.. I think it's basically an insult to yourself, as in at your age you still don't think you can find someone who wants to BE with you and COMMIT to you alone exclusively.. I wouldn't say you're THAT strange, just weak unable to commit and ... (read in full...)

What did you do when you found your partner was watching porn and not having sex with you?

Q.   Hiya I've been with my fiance for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together last weekend I caught him watching porn on his phone it wouldn't have bothered me so much but the last few months our sex life has been once a month so I was hurt when ...

A.   17 November 2017: Also he probably is addicted to porn but that's just a side effect of his overuse- it's DOESN'T excuse him ... (read in full...)

What did you do when you found your partner was watching porn and not having sex with you?

Q.   Hiya I've been with my fiance for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together last weekend I caught him watching porn on his phone it wouldn't have bothered me so much but the last few months our sex life has been once a month so I was hurt when ...

A.   17 November 2017: Please use punctuation. It's very simple and makes your post possible to read. Look, you have a daughter so you need to start opening your eyes, and using some common sense. It's normal to find other people attractive, but the difference is th... (read in full...)

I love someone more than my boyfriend. And I cheated on him with the other person.

Q.   So i recently cheated on my boyfriend. This is actually quite a long story but I’ll try to sum it up as much as possible. Early this summer I started talking to this guy, let’s call him James, we’ll james and I hit it off. He was perfect beyond ...

A.   13 November 2017: You break up with Dennis because this isn't just about you- Dennis needs to find the person that wants to be with him as much as you want to be with James.. stay with Dennis and you're not giving him the opportunity to find the love of HIS life.. ... (read in full...)

Is $3000 too cheap for an engagement ring for a high maintenance girlfriend given my income and background?

Q.   Hi, I would appreciate if you can help me with my question. If a guy is a university professor, in his mid 40s with some debt from divorce, planning to propose to his high maintenance girlfriend who is beautiful and highly educated do you think ...

A.   13 November 2017: She's marrying you- not your money (right?) £3000 is extortionate IMO (esp. for someone in debt!) £1000 is perfectly adequate- why does she need the spare 2 grand, she has YOU. You may be highly educated but I think you have your love... (read in full...)

My sister's boyfriend kissed me and now we've been making out behind her back!

Q.   My sisters boyfriend kissed me what should I do?? I’m 15 years old and my sisters boyfriend is 19 they’ve been dating for about a year I’ve known him as long as she has known him. This all started about 3 months ago when he started grabbing...

A.   13 November 2017: I agree with Youwish.. this is beyond "you're seeing your sister's bf" Seriously? Not only is he after his GF'S SISTER, but under 16 makes you a CHILD- the fact you don't understand what's happening here alone demonstrates that. In most civil... (read in full...)

Is online cheating okay?

Q.   OK! I found out that my boyfriend of 8 years has been going on adult dating sites looking for women to hook up he'd say he hopes they can come over see I'd stay at my daughters sometimes and baby sit. is cheating OK if there's no actual contact ...

A.   9 November 2017: The only reason he hasn't PHYSICALLY cheated (that you know of) is due to distance of the women/ them probably wanting money to travel to him, him just wanting a lay with the nearest woman available. He has shown INTENT. If a woman knocked ... (read in full...)

Why didnt he just tell me he didnt want o be with me anymore?

Q.   My ex of 5 years and I have recently broken up. For a couple of months I noticed him being extremely distant. I'd confront him about it and he tells me things at work aren't good and it's not allowing him to spend time with his son like he use to. I ...

A.   9 November 2017: Sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder about something, as that is a surefire way of hurting you and prolonging your pain- it's a very cruel way of breaking up with someone and not excusable unless you did something earth shatteringly bad i.e ... (read in full...)

Relationship started out well but now he's asking for more and more money. Is he using me?

Q.   To cut my story short, I met a turkish guy at a resort during my holiday 2 months ago.We are both muslims and have similar cultures as I am from the middle east, so we seem to understand each other's views and lifestyles. Everything was going smooth ...

A.   6 November 2017: That's daylight robbery, sorry. WHY is it a woman's responsibility to PROVIDE for a guy she just met? I'm guessing you/your family are well off- and I'm sure he's picked up on that. I agree with Aunt Honesty, tell your family ... (read in full...)

How do I tell someone not to touch my boyfriend?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for almost two years. We have a good relationship, not much drama, we both prefer that way. He is introvert but in social situations he can have fun if he wants to. I'm an introvert who is socially shy and Don't have m...

A.   4 November 2017: So what? It's not about other men or their reactions- he LETS another woman put her hands all over him. ALLOWING this is DISRESPECTFUL AND HUMILIATING to you. It doesn't matter what shes after, it matters that HE wants her hands over him. ... (read in full...)

Friend sponges off everyone. How do I deal with her?

Q.   Hi, I have a friend who's used to living off other people. She's funny, smart and she still takes money from her parents (she's 39 years old!), "borrows" money and promises to pay back at some point. Goes out for drinks, meals and almost never...

A.   3 November 2017: *Lend* her it if you don't want to see your $800 again- you WON'T be getting that back. If she's not homeless she gets benefits right? So she can survive Ok if she needs to.. She needs to learn that she can't get whatever she wants for FREE- at... (read in full...)

I'm confused, is she interested or just making conversation?

Q.   So I work with someone who I find attractive. I have never led her on or flirted with her. I am in a happy relationship and she is married. But sometimes I have to work with her and sometimes she will touch me or make light conversation about my ...

A.   2 November 2017: Erm? You're in a happy relationship but you want to do the dirty on your girlfriend for a CRUSH at work?? AND break up a marriage?? It doesn't work like that. You LEAVE your gf if you're unhappy/don't love her- NOT chase after skirt at work, an... (read in full...)

Do you ever get trust back in a relationship and if it’s possible how on earth do you get it back?

Q.   I have been with my partner for just over four years now. We have had a rocky relationship, many hurdles along the way but overcome each and every one of them. I have trust issues, I don’t partially trust people and find it difficult to ope...

A.   2 November 2017: A relationship can maybe survive if someone cheats once if there are extreme circumstances and it's a ONE OFF- but even then the trust is crazy hard to get back.. -As an already un-trusting person, how WILL you ever be trust someone that has been... (read in full...)

I hate the person who I used to love for his std and promiscuity

Q.   I'm in love with my partner , we've been together for a year and a half, we've been through so much, specially at the beginning. The truth is, even though I thought I knew him ( we were friends for years before falling in love ) the fact is I did ...

A.   2 November 2017: Yeah like femmenoir said, be drastic here and don't dilly dally being indecisive- don't FORGET that he put YOUR health at risk and how many others? Begging for no condom sex swayed it for me- really says bad stuff about his character When you feel... (read in full...)

I hate the person who I used to love for his std and promiscuity

Q.   I'm in love with my partner , we've been together for a year and a half, we've been through so much, specially at the beginning. The truth is, even though I thought I knew him ( we were friends for years before falling in love ) the fact is I did ...

A.   1 November 2017: You can't be with someone you have so much disgust and resentment for- that will destroy you. You also have such a strong difference in values- so that's probably going to come between you.. I would be constantly worried about him sleeping around. ... (read in full...)

How do I tell someone not to touch my boyfriend?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for almost two years. We have a good relationship, not much drama, we both prefer that way. He is introvert but in social situations he can have fun if he wants to. I'm an introvert who is socially shy and Don't have m...

A.   1 November 2017: Please give us an update on your situation I just want to say that being shy/ introverted just means you're less sociable and are more comfortable spending a lot of time alone. It's not like a CONDITION that prevents you from sticking up for ... (read in full...)

How do I tell someone not to touch my boyfriend?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for almost two years. We have a good relationship, not much drama, we both prefer that way. He is introvert but in social situations he can have fun if he wants to. I'm an introvert who is socially shy and Don't have m...

A.   1 November 2017: Make one last attempt to fully explain to him WHY it's unacceptable and how it makes you feel. If he shows no signs of improvement then leave this relationship- because him continuing this behavior means he doesn't love you- it happens all the time. ... (read in full...)

How do I tell someone not to touch my boyfriend?

Q.   Dear Cupid I'm with my bf for almost two years. We have a good relationship, not much drama, we both prefer that way. He is introvert but in social situations he can have fun if he wants to. I'm an introvert who is socially shy and Don't have m...

A.   1 November 2017: That IS her being over-friendly. She is either wanting to whore attention from men in general- or is after your bf. Cupping your face is TOO intimate. The best way to describe it is couples behavior! There are guys with their head in a box type... (read in full...)

*2DuszJ's friends

These are mutual friends, so *2DuszJ has added them and they have added *2DuszJ!

Abella agony auntAbella
N91 agony auntN91
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
TEDDIEBERR agony auntTEDDIEBERR
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.187499799998477!