New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login240437 questions, 1064502 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap
*2DuszJ agony aunt

*2DuszJ

United Kingdom  (Female   XML/RSS

Like what she writes?
... Add *2DuszJ to your favourite agony aunts

Want to get in touch?
... Send *2DuszJ a private message

*2DuszJ's Ratings
Excellent70%
Average9%
Poor21%
*2DuszJ's profile:

Live long and prosper!:)

12345678Next > [8 pages, 292 answers]

My husband slapped me on the face because he didn't like what I was wearing and I wouldn't change

Q.   3 years ago, i thought i met the love of my life. I've been in the US for 4 years, since I've been working there i met this man, we got into a relationship and after 1 year, he proposed to me. I was madly in love with him. Since we got married, he ...

A.   5 August 2018: A poor excuse? Well there's NO excuse to physically assault you. EVER. Please imagine if this was your daughter writing this?? What would you tell her- get far away and fast! Listen to your FAMILY, who are the ones that TRULY care. What a ... (read in full...)

My relationship was perfect for 4 years, now its constant drama? I blame TV. What should I do?

Q.   I feel like Im a very simple creature. I just want sex, food, affection, and some nice things said to me every once in a while. My gf, she's more complicated. I literally don't know what she wants. One moment she's happy, the next she's sad, and ...

A.   31 July 2018: Firstly well done to Wise Owl for exposing to you the sheer horror of what you did to her- you obviously dont have the capacity to understand how such a brutal destructive thing affects someone who loves you! All I can add is that if you truly lo... (read in full...)

He’s unreachable every weekend!

Q.   Hey guys, I’m really upset right now and I’d appreciate some help. I’ve been with this guy for about 7 years. We met in college and I moved to the states in 2015, pregnant with his child. I admit he made sure to keep in touch with me as much as po...

A.   31 July 2018: You don't love him you said yourself you're lonely and scared to be alone.. which is why you FEEL you can't break the last thread and cut him lose. But you CAN! He isn't worth having around. A guy that cared for his girl is going to want to BE WI... (read in full...)

What does this type of hug mean?

Q.   I was getting ready to leave my friend's house when I asked him for a hug. He accepted by stretching his arms out towards me, inviting me in. At first, he had his hands on my upper back. Then, after a few seconds, he decided to lower them down to my ...

A.   31 July 2018: Boys your age don't seek out close friendships with girls unless they're crushing on them.. There's a crude saying 9 out of 10 of your male friends want to sleep with you.. thats especially true for teenage boys! Hugs aside just look at the odds... (read in full...)

I feel the need to have a child but I want it to be my lover's not my husband's

Q.   DO NOT JUDGE I am female, 34 years..i am married to a man-boy kinda of husband (45 years) who has no clue how to raise children..we have two..one mine and the first one is his...his past time is drinking....but he come through with finances......

A.   27 July 2018: You're really 34? You're acting like a spoilt hormonal teenager with no regard for your EXISTING children and treating your husband like shit. Your "lover" is not the great paragon of virtue you think he is- he's OK with shagging another man's wo... (read in full...)

Shall I stop being a gentlemen and be a man?

Q.   Just wondering what you guys would think what’s on this girls mind. She is married with 2 kids. She is few years older than me, we work together. She is quiet person, well respected and often hates guys advancing. For example a friend of mine will ...

A.   18 July 2018: Sorry for your break up but it's no excuse to wreck the lives of others.. how would her kids, husband be affected if you started an affair?? Doesn't matter what basis you're attracted to each other on. There's however many billions of people out ... (read in full...)

This confusing guy is sending mixed signals!

Q.   So I met this guy off a gay dating app. We had tremendously good sex. As he left my house he told me he "really wanted" to see me again. He lives in a different city and for a hook up from an app, it was brave of him to say that. I asked him when he ...

A.   13 July 2018: I wouldn't say the signals are that mixed really, just look at the actions and discount the words- which are cheap! Example, If a guy SAYS he wants to go on a date, arranges a time place, but then doesn't TURN UP, and gives a weak excuse his actions ... (read in full...)

Why couldn’t he understand that I needed his emotional support that day?

Q.   Monday was a sad day for me. I lost my job and broke up with my boyfriend of 4 yrs. Although I'm not too worried about being able to find another job, it still is not a happy event to be let go... I called my boyfriend and he sounded shocked ...

A.   13 July 2018: Honestly.. seems like he was taking you for granted and taking a lot more than he was giving; he KNOWS you have to get up at 6:30 but he still expected you to sacrifice sleep just to serve his needs?? And ending a four year relationship *just li... (read in full...)

I cheated and want to fix my relationship, but how?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, since I was 23. He is a wonderful person. I love him, he loves me, and we've always worked so well together. We've never had any problems beyond whose turn it is to do the dishes. ...

A.   5 July 2018: And WTF you don't even want him that much! You're still after the other guy??! Did your parents spoil you as a child or something, you haven't learnt ANY sort of restraint.. we can't have everything we want that's not how life works! Opportunity ... (read in full...)

I cheated and want to fix my relationship, but how?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for two and a half years, since I was 23. He is a wonderful person. I love him, he loves me, and we've always worked so well together. We've never had any problems beyond whose turn it is to do the dishes. ...

A.   5 July 2018: You are clearly a really selfish person at this point in your life.. as the selfless thing would allow him to move on and find better. You are only worried about getting him back- which is what YOU want. When in actual fact a flaky shallow ... (read in full...)

I'm 8 weeks pregnant and questioning my relationship with my partner because I just found out that he's slept with numerous prostitutes before we met.

Q.   Hello. I am 8 weeks pregnant , was so happy with everything and looking forward to the future but now I’m seriously re thinking the whole thing. I have been with my partner a while and we were just discussing the blood tests I am getting for...

A.   5 July 2018: I would feel the same, it's about values and standards that you clearly differ on.. he should have let you know EARLIER about the fact this feels like a normal frequent thing to do, where as you (like many women I think) think of it as revolting- ... (read in full...)

He looks up his exes when we argue!

Q.   I noticed my boyfriend had looked up an ex recently and he has admitted that after some bad arguments he has looked up exes as a form of escape. He's done this "every month or so", just looking at their pictures. I understand looking up exes out of ...

A.   2 July 2018: I agree with the others, arguing all the time is the biggest sign you're not compatible and a trying to maintain a relationship is just going to be an uphill struggle! The fact that nothing changes and you KEEP arguing is not promising. All p... (read in full...)

My marriage in in crisis because I've decided my wife is too skinny and her boobs aren't big enough.

Q.   Hi everyone, Thank you so much for reading this. I am genuinely looking for advice regarding my marriage which is in a state of crisis right now. I will keep it as short as possible. TL;DR: I met my wife in an online relationship. We got marr...

A.   2 May 2018: Divorcing her is the right thing to do because as you're too superficial to not be attracted to a beautiful woman as she is, you'll clearly go elsewhere looking for someone closer to your *ideal standards" to cheat with. Don't pretend for a second ... (read in full...)

My marriage in in crisis because I've decided my wife is too skinny and her boobs aren't big enough.

Q.   Hi everyone, Thank you so much for reading this. I am genuinely looking for advice regarding my marriage which is in a state of crisis right now. I will keep it as short as possible. TL;DR: I met my wife in an online relationship. We got marr...

A.   2 May 2018: Like Code Warrior said what makes YOU feel you DESERVE a "perfect woman"?? You're clearly not perfect yourself. Even if you're physically attractive your personality stinks! Your attitude is that of the Donald Trumps and the CEOs in charge o... (read in full...)

I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?

Q.   I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...

A.   29 April 2018: Yuck! So it's not just a one off he sexually preys on any young impressionable girl with a pretty face? Sorry but he's in a position to TEACH you guys and help you with your FUTURES not take advantage of them and fuck with their heads! You h... (read in full...)

If I make him feel better why did he inbox his ex?

Q.   Is my boyfriend being genuine about his feelings? The other day, my boyfriend was a little sick, not dying sick, but sick. I went to the hospital with him and he made a post on Facebook posting a picture of his hospital band and captioned it say...

A.   29 April 2018: I remember your name is this the same guy you've posted about 2-3 times? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/hes-acting-as-if-i-dont-exist.html If so please stop asking for advice if you're going to ignore it, along with the cold hard eviden... (read in full...)

I thought we were friends but he blocked me.

Q.   I had met this guy 2 years ago. He came up to me at school and asked me if I wanted to study the bible. He was with a group of friends. So I Said yes.at that time he was our campus minister for the young adults In out church. And for the longest ...

A.   29 April 2018: Social media is a WASTE OF TIME. Nothing you see on there is real life, people post what they WANT you to see i.e. their *best* side and is not a reflection of reality! If someone is using social media to play games or make someone feel bad what... (read in full...)

My well-connected but broke boyfriend has 4720 friends on Facebook but won’t add me!

Q.   I probably know the answer to this question, but if anyone has some thoughts, I'm in a long distance relationship with a much older man who is very accomplished and well-connected (flat broke, but always has younger women chasing him). We see each ...

A.   24 April 2018: He doesn't sound like a serious guy. This isn't a relationship he's just messing with you like Honeypie said. He can't of *forgotton* to add you if he adds how many adam and eves everyday- and more to the point if he is THIS INVESTED in facebook! I ... (read in full...)

I offered an adult student help, now he constantly contacts me.

Q.   I would like to preface my question by saying that this isn't exactly a "relationship" question, but I am reaching out for advice because I know that some of you are really qualified to give advice about interactions with people, in general. I te...

A.   24 April 2018: Would it be fair to call your teacher up at his house when you were at school?? It's bordering on stalking you need to put a stop to it.... (read in full...)

I offered an adult student help, now he constantly contacts me.

Q.   I would like to preface my question by saying that this isn't exactly a "relationship" question, but I am reaching out for advice because I know that some of you are really qualified to give advice about interactions with people, in general. I te...

A.   24 April 2018: You say he has no one but where are his kids? If he speaks to them THEY would be the ones to help him out with his PERSONAL LIFE- which isn't your professional OR moral obligation. Does he have a learning disability? I work with such adults a... (read in full...)

I'm wondering how some females can manage not being jealous and I'm wondering how some guys don't see how this affects their partners?

Q.   I'm single, so this isn't something I'm writing out of emotion, but something I have pondered in the past. I came across a lot of articles online lately about what guys like and dislike in relationships and it seems as though a lot of guys mentioned ...

A.   22 April 2018: Sorry I lost half my answer :( the gist of it was that if a man is blowing up over things you know are not OK then he's 99% feeling guilty and too childish to admit to his wrongdoing or just too immature to see it. ... (read in full...)

I'm wondering how some females can manage not being jealous and I'm wondering how some guys don't see how this affects their partners?

Q.   I'm single, so this isn't something I'm writing out of emotion, but something I have pondered in the past. I came across a lot of articles online lately about what guys like and dislike in relationships and it seems as though a lot of guys mentioned ...

A.   21 April 2018: And you know what, you have to remember that people who have double standards are either control freaks OR people that haven't bothered to learn how to take accountability for their own actions, as they're too tactless and immature to know they've ... (read in full...)

Help! I'm crushing on a younger man.

Q.   Help! I think I may be crushing on a much younger man - it’s embarrasing . I am working at a retail store to pay of my student loans and I work there every weekend . I am 32 year old single woman. I must admit I am lonely since it has been two years ...

A.   16 April 2018: I agree with the last post there's little that's shameful about it, you're both adults. I used to work in retail and there was a guy who came in every day that asked me out! I would say tone down anything in front of your manager, and don't as... (read in full...)

My girlfriend left, I want to fix it but she is ignoring me.

Q.   My girlfriend of 12 years has just left me. For the last 4 years we've lived together in our own place after a spell living with her family, we moved in shortly after my father passed away. I really struggled to deal with my father's passing...

A.   16 April 2018: Imagine if your daughter was with someone like this.. would you want her to get back with him? Or would you want the BEST for her?? Real love is selfless. She deserves better, you've already put her through 12 years of SHIT so if you truly lo... (read in full...)

He compliments others and insults me.

Q.   My partner of many years verbally attacked me for the things I do to 'beautify' myself such as have hair nails and skin appointments etc done . I have never had cosmetic surgery and am not going to. He says I'm insecure and he wants someone who is ...

A.   16 April 2018: He is clearly attracted to the fake glamour girl look, this is not about him having some moral objection to it- seems like his only real *principle* is to make YOU feel bad about yourself. A guy that puts you down is a MAJOR RED FLAG. A guy that... (read in full...)

The man who was my companion contacts me through my daughter after 2 years!

Q.   Hello peeps I have a question that I'd like your honest opinions about - please...? I met this lovely, magic but crazy guy in 2016. We clicked. It was very strong whilst it lasted. But he liked his drink and we both got drunk a lot and that was...

A.   15 April 2018: Sorry if I sounded harsh everyone acts/thinks recklessly when there's strong feelings involved. Just thought he seemed like the type to go crazy on you or use your daughter as leverage. People that have substance abuse issues don't even know what ... (read in full...)

I'm dating a 48 year old man who lives in utter filth and doesn't know what he wants from life

Q.   I've Been seeing a 48 year old man for about 5 weeks now. He is not physically attractive in anyway. I looked past all this because I am actually pursuing a serious relationship and my criteria isn't based on looks. It would help but doesn't matter. ...

A.   15 April 2018: Look, the guy may have some personal issues/ fundamental character flaw/ aspergers, some other social ineptitude, even messed up psychological stuff..but the point is you clearly have nothing but dislike and disdain for him, so why are you keeping ... (read in full...)

The man who was my companion contacts me through my daughter after 2 years!

Q.   Hello peeps I have a question that I'd like your honest opinions about - please...? I met this lovely, magic but crazy guy in 2016. We clicked. It was very strong whilst it lasted. But he liked his drink and we both got drunk a lot and that was...

A.   15 April 2018: By your own admission he's not a normal guy who behaves NORMALLY.. searching for your DAUGHTER high and low is crazy intense! Bordering on stalkish. You know how many people are on facebook.. You say he's crazy.. crazy people are INTENSE.... (read in full...)

I want a sexual relationship with my professor. Should I pursue it?

Q.   I am in love with my professor and want to take thing to a sexual relationship. I need advise on how to keep it a secret. We flirt all the time we even exchanged pictures. Should I pursue this at all? ...

A.   10 April 2018: If he's unprofessional enough to do it with one student what makes you think you're the ONLY one?? Just please calling this "love" is giving love a bad name, as BJ said.. you can't LOVE someone you don't know! Exchanging messages, flirting... (read in full...)

Did my boyfriend’s dad just sexually harrass me!? I’m crying

Q.   My boyfriends dad just sexually harrased me?! I feel so embarrased to even write this! Please help I am in shock I live with my boyfriends parents and something happened I was eating late meal in the kitchen and he came in, we were having a ...

A.   9 April 2018: You do realise that by keeping quiet you're giving him the POWER over you. What's more when this eventually comes out (the truth always does) people are going to question what was REALLY going on- i.e. why did you put up with it for so long, WHY you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   3 April 2018: You know what actually, I just reread your post. "your boobs need serious help" Who is he to say what you NEED to do?? "should" "need" are all words to be avoided as they put unnecessary pressure on the individual, whoever says them. You don't ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend ridiculed me saying that I have small boobs and a big tummy!

Q.   Dear cubid, The other day my bf of 2 years and i were video chating and i was wearing a tank top without a bra so he made a comment saying " ur boobs need serious help why doesn't the fat from ur stomach go up to ur boobs , just rotate the fat" ...

A.   3 April 2018: It's not about him making a joke, there's no humour involved here and he knows it. He said it out of disrespect- saying that it's a joke is just a way of covering up the nastiness of his comment. He said it as a sly hint to let you know he wants... (read in full...)

Is my husband being shady, buying a gift for a coworker?

Q.   My husband recently bought a gift for a female coworker. I found text messages of him asking other people what this female coworker likes. When I saw the gift, I asked him, oh who is this for and he ignored my question and started talking about ...

A.   30 March 2018: "I hope to give you something better next time" is definitely over-friendly and is clearly not part of some kind of workplace gift pool- it's singling her out and on her personal phone. I agree it's not a good idea to go in guns blazing as it ju... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   28 March 2018: *support fromr family/ friemds. I hope you have a loving family. There is always the school counsellor if you really feel you can't talk to your mum or anyone right? Take care of yourself and binge watch some comedy TV! ... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   28 March 2018: Heartless? Well you hit the nail on the head- his feelings don't come from his "heart" at stage he's at. He stayed with HER because she TOLERATES his bad behaviour because she's either too naive or dense to see him for what he is. She's useful to ... (read in full...)

We’ve been dating 18 months! Do these signs he’s been giving indicate anything?

Q.   Been dating a guy for 18mnths. We havent ever said we love each other but we know we care deeply for each other. The other morning we were "making out" (we've never had sex) and he was on top of me. He gradually stopped and then just looked in my ...

A.   27 March 2018: After 18 months it's important to feel comfortable with and trust one another, if you can be physically intimate but you can't discuss feelings, there's a problem somewhere in the relationship. So like Wiseowl said- ask him straight up what's wrong. ... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   27 March 2018: You are NOT a POS. You are young, hormonal, emotional, misguided and still trying to find yourself. You were caught in his trap that most of us could easily have fallen into at your age. I know our words were harsh but we just wanted you to realise ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his brother says him and I had sex

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 8 months now whom I love dearly. I’m 28 and he’s a year older. We live together. So my boyfriend wants me to take a lie detector test because his pathological liar of a younger brother said that we slept togethe...

A.   26 March 2018: WOW. Your bf is screwy.. I would flat out refuse to take the test. If he doesn't trust you enough or know when you're telling the truth it's not going to change. Trust is just as important as love- without it there is no foundation to build the ... (read in full...)

How do you handle flirty guys?

Q.   I think I have written this before, not sure... So I'm 30 and right now I have been going to the gym. I get along with my trainer very well to the point that he teases me, tickles me and what not. I actually like him, but I do know (because he...

A.   25 March 2018: If you're interested in them there's no harm in being flirty. Flirting with someone doesn't mean you're going to sleep with them. Flirting for many is a fun lighthearted way of meeting people or just socialising- particularly for people who are ... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   25 March 2018: And "they're not soulmates"? Well do you honestly think that out of the billions of people on this earth you just happen to meet him in the same Street/ town as you. A guy who is LYING TO TWO girls. Look at the facts!... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   25 March 2018: And "they're not soulmates"? Well do you honestly think that out of the billions of people on this earth you just happen to meet him in the same Street/ town as you. A guy who is LYING TO TWO girls. Look at the facts!... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend but he took my virginity and I think he's the "one" for me

Q.   Hi, I’m in love with a taken guy. We’ve been through so much together. He took my virginity, we fell asleep together, and his mom absolutely loves me. She’s constantly asking about me and says that I should come over more. BUT, he has a girlfriend. ...

A.   25 March 2018: His gf "doesn't care" he's cheating on her? I suggest you show his gf this post and watch her try and scratch your your eyes out- what would you do if you were her and you read this?? I doubt you'd be "ok with it" If he was the one what reason w... (read in full...)

*2DuszJ's friends

These are mutual friends, so *2DuszJ has added them and they have added *2DuszJ!

Abella agony auntAbella
CassieMosswing agony auntCassieMosswing
N91 agony auntN91
no nonsense Aidan agony auntno nonsense Aidan
TEDDIEBERR agony auntTEDDIEBERR
Tisha-1 agony auntTisha-1

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.124999799998477!