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She has decorated my bedroom space with love letters and trinkets and it's suffocating. What can I say and how should I approach this subject?

Q.   I am in quite a new relationship with my girlfriend (just over 6 months) and things have been going well. Although recently she has started to decorate my bedroom with photographs, love letters and little trinkets. It is sweet, do not get me wr...

A.   21 January 2017: does she trust you or does she think that you be inviting other girls to your room also? it is ok for her to decorate her own room like this if that what she likes, but it seems odd that she would do it to your room. i agree with the previous ... (read in full...)

Fed up with him. Don't think I can trust him any more. How should I handle this situation?

Q.   hi everyone ive been with my fiancé for 3 years now just lately I don't feel happy anymore and now ill explain why. We met through facebook and after that he told me he doesn't use facebook anymore. I had him on my friends list he just never bother...

A.   21 January 2017: he is up to something (or would like to be) if he has made an FB account that he has intended to keep secret from you. i think you KNOW the answer to your question already but you do not want to admit it to yourself because you don't want to leave ... (read in full...)

I'd like to date this lady but she's hot and cold and I'm not sure what is going on?

Q.   Hi everyone I'm need some advice I'm trying to date this lady friend of mine she's the parent of this young lady I train Well we kinda got a little close recently I've think she great her daughter are good friends with my daughter I'm divorce by the ...

A.   23 July 2015: kissing a woman on her neck is a rather intimate thing to do, so it seems very wrong to do that to a lady who you are just friends with. i think she did not stop you because she was surprised by it and probably felt very awkward. she may have been ... (read in full...)

I'm not sure who I'm meant to be and meeting my real birth mother didn't help things

Q.   I have been adopted and I'm in care at the moment I have struggled for the past year with my identity and not really knowing who I'm meant to be, if that makes sense. It saw my birth mum a few months ago and it really hit me and I'm sort of really ...

A.   23 July 2015: have you spoken to your carers about this? i am sure they will be able to arrange some counselling to help you come to terms with things. for what its worth - some people that have stayed with their birth mother all their life do not have a good ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend claims he is still on a dating app just to make friends?

Q.   So I've been seeing this guy and we have met loads of times, been on plenty of dates, ive met his family and stayed at his and are now dating for about two months and ive noticed hes still on the dating app... which i find insulting.. but he says ...

A.   23 July 2015: you KNOW this guy is lying to you. please don't continue to doubt yourself. as dating sites go, i have heard that POF is one of the more sleazy ones, so personally i would not believe anyone who says they're on it just looking for platonic friends. ... (read in full...)

My relationship is making me feel unconscious, mentally foggy, and extremely unhappy

Q.     I think my relationship is making me feel unconscious, mentally foggy, and unhappy and just out right not myself anymore. I have been with my partner for 2.5 years and things were great in the beginning. I thought we had the same vision in l...

A.   23 July 2015: i agree with the previous poster, things will get more messy if you try to break up when living together. he sounds horrible. you have listed a lot of his bad points,i suppose you struggle to find any good ones. if someone you really cared about ... (read in full...)

Should I tell him that I'm really 50? I lied on the dating website!

Q.   Hi Friends here I have been dating a guy for about 2 months. We see each other every week and text everyday. We originally met each other on a casual dating site...and i guess both of us do not expect that that we are so attracted to each...

A.   22 July 2015: just tell him. he also lied to you about his age remember? if you can get away with pretending you are younger, you are lucky. putting a younger age on your online dating profile can guarantee more dates, so why not? what you have done has not ... (read in full...)

I feel he's not the man I thought he was. Should I still travel to meet up with him?

Q.   So I have been talking to a guy I met on a date site for 3 years now. We live over 2000 miles apart. We always tried to make plans to finally see one another in person but they never came through for one reason or another. He skyped with me once and ...

A.   22 July 2015: i wouldnt waste any more time on this man. if you like talking to him online, fine, keep it as that. in the meantime try to get to know people in the real world or at least closer to you than 2,000 miles away. i agree with honeypie - why has this ... (read in full...)

Is it healthy to keeps talking to your ex when your breakup is fresh?

Q.   I broke up with my ex boyfriend 2 days ago but we've been talking ever since like we're still dating. I ended things because of who I became dating him(I was sad and not my self). I know it's hard for him and he probably thinks am joking as this w...

A.   22 July 2015: he is probably hoping that you will get back together and if you keep talking to him he thinks he has got a chance of getting you back. it sounds like you are using him, just for someone to talk to. now that you are separated, use this time to make ... (read in full...)

I have self confidence issues. Why wouldn't my boyfriend defend me when nasty remarks were said?

Q.   I have almost zero confidence when it comes to my body. I'm a size 16, and due to being bullied as a child due to my weight I have never had any confidence with guys. I have had boyfriends in the past, but I had been single for nearly two years...

A.   22 July 2015: firstly size 16 is not a whale! if you are not happy and confident with your size though join a gym and lose a bit of weight and tone up, that will make you more confident. i agree with you, if my partner just laughed off a comment like that i would ... (read in full...)

Double date with parents! What affection is appropriate?

Q.   Hi! I know I ask a lot of questions but I really like having outside opinions from people other than my peers. So anyway here's my situation. So Saturday I am going on "a double date" with my parents. My boyfriend and I and then my parents will ...

A.   22 July 2015: if i was your parent i would be ok with you hand holding, cuddles, putting your arm around each other. quick kisses. anything beyond that is best saved for when you are not with parents ... (read in full...)

Does anyone believe it is possible to love two people at the same time?

Q.   I am not exactly young or naive, but does anyone believe it is possible to love two people at the same time? I don't understand why so many peole think it is impossible to truly love to people when you can love more than one child, more than one ...

A.   22 July 2015: yes its possible, but it is wrong if the man you are with is not happy with it, or doesn't know! ask yourself how you would feel if the man you are with loves another woman, would you be happy with that? ... (read in full...)

Why are so many men so shallow and judgmental?

Q.   I have many female friends who are happy with their boyfriends of all shapes and sizes and seem to be totally disinterested in looking at men on the street let alone naked in porn. It is very rare I hear a female friend make a negative remark about ...

A.   22 July 2015: men are more visual. women care more about other qualities in their partner, not just what he looks like. have you ever noticed all the beauty treatments and surgery that women undergo to make themselves look more attractive, but yet men are more ... (read in full...)

My fiance is fine one minute and shouting me at the next. I don't know what to do!

Q.   My fiance always seems to be fine one minute and the next he's shouting at me for nothing. We've been together 3 years and have 2 children. He makes me feel very unloved sometimes. We don't argue much because I sense his moods and try and keep ...

A.   22 July 2015: he is being an arsehole because you are letting him by not calling him out for his behaviour - could be a lot of reasons he is doing this. he is the only one that knows. you really are gonna have to sit him down and ask him whats troubling him so ... (read in full...)

How do I find out what web sites my husbands on and see his profiles

Q.   How do i find out what web sites my husbands on and see his profiles...

A.   22 July 2015: google 'reverse email search' to find a site that will do this search for you. bear in mind - if he has created email addresses that you do not know about then this will be of no use to you. do yo have reason to not trust him or are you just being ... (read in full...)

He says it's not him. Yet the swinger's site show he's a member. What can I do? I don't want to lose our relationship.

Q.   hey everyone, I really need some advice! Me and my partner have been together for 5.5 years, we were childhood sweethearts and got together at 16! Our relationship has always been good, we are both very laid back and therefore we don't t...

A.   22 July 2015: you are torturing yourself and he is letting you. you know what you saw. you know that he did not need to create profiles like this just to masturbate over explicit photos (there is plenty of porn on the internet to look at without the need to ... (read in full...)

Have any girls on here gone to a bar alone?

Q.   I have been on my own for a long time now. It has been bothering me for a while but it has only become a problem recently. I don't have particularly great coping skills and feelings of loneliness have become overwhelming. I really need to make some ...

A.   13 December 2011: if you are going to the gym and coffee shop alone and have not suceeded in making friends there, what are you going to do differently in a bar? presumably you fee like you and others will be more friendly because alcohol has loosened you up, which ... (read in full...)

I feel like I'm being a pest.....do they really like me?

Q.   Basically, i started highschool about a week and abit ago, and so far everything has been going brilliantly, i'm doing well with the work, my sets are getting sorted out and my anxiety ( i have a severe anxiety disorder) is getting easier to ...

A.   13 December 2011: you have had trouble with people in the past and this is why you find it difficult to trust peoples motives now. you seem to have a great personality and i am pretty certain that these people that hang around you actually DO like you.it IS hard to ... (read in full...)

Am I just a convenient arrangement for him? Or am I being over-sensitive and too demanding?

Q.   Am I just convenient? I have been dating a man for just over three months. He is 36, I am 34. At first everything seemed brilliant - he was attentive, complimentary and in constant contact. We were seeing each other for about two months before w...

A.   3 November 2011: hmm, a few things to think about... while you do not need to know the 100% truth of his past sexual partners, you really need to have at least an inkling as to whether he is horn-dog player man-slut or not. i wouldn't worry too much about 'how to ... (read in full...)

She is no longer the wife or mother she used to be and the whole family are feeling neglected, how do we talk to her about this?

Q.   I don't know what to do anymore. My wife of 19 years is no longer the woman I married. We have three children 11, 13, and 19. In the last few years she has taken in pets and recently has taken on 8 more added to the 15 she already has. She spends ...

A.   1 November 2011: sounds like she is using the animals as a form of escapism from her routine with the family. talk to her. is she menopausal or pre-menopausal? (a blood test can detect this) - if so this can do crazy things to a woman's mind as she experiences the ... (read in full...)

How is he still confused about how he feels after being with me for a year?

Q.   I just want to know is it possible to be confused on if you love someone or not for almost a full year? The man I am with has been unsure about how he feels for a while. This does not make me want to leave him, but it sure makes it hard for me when ...

A.   1 November 2011: love is a confusing thing for those that really think about it. the easiest thing in the world would be for him to say 'yes, of course i love you' just to make you feel better and relieve your concerns. he wants to be 100% per cent sure before he ... (read in full...)

Am I just a convenient arrangement for him? Or am I being over-sensitive and too demanding?

Q.   Am I just convenient? I have been dating a man for just over three months. He is 36, I am 34. At first everything seemed brilliant - he was attentive, complimentary and in constant contact. We were seeing each other for about two months before w...

A.   1 November 2011: you are not being unreasonable. it sounds as if in the early pursuing/chasing stage he made it number one priority to impress and woo you. now you have given up the 'the goods' he does not have to do the chasing anymore. and as you have grown more ... (read in full...)

Lovers for 5 years. Both married, but not to each other. How can I deal with this much pain? He said he loved me but where is he now?

Q.   I starting having an affair with a man since 2006. We both are married and I lived a distance from him so I wasnt worried to get attached. Well I thought it would be just a short period this would last. We were together for almost 5 years. ...

A.   1 November 2011: it will get easier but only when you accept it is over and stop referring to him as 'best friend' - isn't your husband your best friend? your marriage must be very lacking in something if you needed to have a five year affair in the first place. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's sister dislikes me and its getting very uncomfortable for me!

Q.   I feel like hell. I've been dating this amazing guy for 4 months and its just amazing. But I don't think his sister likes me. Every time he asks me to go away with him and his youth group I decline because his sister is going to be there and she ...

A.   1 November 2011: i think if you want to carry on being with him you will have to brazen it out with her. just put your most confident front on, be friendly to her, don't let her know you are intimidated. yes i know this means faking it as it sounds like you don't ... (read in full...)

Will our child miss out on so much because he will grow up without extended family? Since we don't have one

Q.   Today my family had a halloween party. I was having fun until i started to notice that my cousins and their kids got along so well. I started to feel jealous of how they all were talking and hanging out and their i was just sitting down. I tried ta...

A.   1 November 2011: there is nothing you can do to change this matter so it is not worth getting upset about. lots of families have many members but that does not always mean that they will be close or even like each other! people who come from big families are not ... (read in full...)

He thinks I am playing games. Is it wrong for me to withhold sex from the guy I'm currently seeing?

Q.   is it wrong for me to withhold sex from the guy i'm currently seeing? i just don't feel like i know him well enough yet to sleep with him, but in his mind i think he's getting frustrated because he thinks i'm just using it as an excuse and that im a...

A.   1 November 2011: you are not wrong, men are always keen to get women into bed, its just nature. if you are being genuine when you say that you feel you don't know him well enough and you don't feel ready yet then absolutely you shouldn't cave in just coz its what ... (read in full...)

Technically speaking was it not cheating? since we had had a break up. Am I right in my assumption?

Q.   My girlfriend dumped me and after three months she came back . We were together for 2 years before I picked up fight with her over small issue which resulted in a being dumped in the last week of July this year. During those three months, I was ...

A.   1 November 2011: your girlfriend didn't want you back despite all your efforts, so why should you not look elsewhwere? i really don't think you have done anything that most people would do. why should you remain true to someone who is watching you beg and crawl and ... (read in full...)

Do you ever get over a first love?

Q.   Do women get over their first love that they had sex with for their first time, or even if it wasn't a first love that they had sex with the first time?nEven if it has been several years since it took place? I would like to hear views from the lady...

A.   29 October 2011: ok well there are a couple of things here that you cannot change - you cannot change the fact that your wife was with someone before you met and that she had sex with and had feelings for him. your wife is not actively doing or saying anythi... (read in full...)

He's married and won't always pay attention to me!

Q.   Im 22.. And I'm having sOme affair with a 31 yrs old married man.. He says that he is not happy because her wife is already 51 yrs old and he really wants a baby.. Which her wife can't give because of the age (unable to bear a child) he's just ...

A.   23 October 2011: look at the facts ... married to an older woman purely for visa messing around with you and wants to get you pregnant presumably? lying to her picking up and dropping you whenever it suits all this tells me that he is NOT a good person. yo... (read in full...)

Do you ever get over a first love?

Q.   Do women get over their first love that they had sex with for their first time, or even if it wasn't a first love that they had sex with the first time?nEven if it has been several years since it took place? I would like to hear views from the lady...

A.   23 October 2011: your marriage sounds lovely and i think you should just enjoy it! some people are never lucky enough to find that special someone who they want to give their heart to and stay with forever. you are SO fortunate! and i agree with the last comment by ... (read in full...)

I told him about my past, he went silent and now wont speak to me until he has 'forgiven me'!

Q.   I need some help. When I was 12, i was quite badly raped and beaten to within an inch of my life (I was in ICU for the following 2/3 months afterwards.) I did not open up to anyway and I still remain that way (like, i will jump if anyone touches me, ...

A.   23 October 2011: i am glad you have told him to 'stuff it' (or whatever words you used!) you are not SO damaged that you have to tolerate that sort of treatment from anyone. always remember that! he has got no empathy. you can do WAY better than him. best ... (read in full...)

I am very upset that someone else is treating my son in this way - what should I do?

Q.   Dear Cupid My son is 8 and lives with my ex-husband and his wife every second weekend. Last weekend, the wife had an argument with my son and my son lay face down on the couch. The wife told him to stay there until he had calmed down. He went t...

A.   20 October 2011: that definitely sounds abusive. speak to your ex. see what his take on the incident is. speak to her as well and let her know that if there is any repeat you will be involving the cops. adults often think its ok to restrain kids and 'discipline'... (read in full...)

Army wives and girlfriends - do they ALL cheat when soldiers are deployed?

Q.   I am in th army and I leave for deployment in less then 3 weeks. My current girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months, we have a great relationship. This will the first time either one of us will eb dating someone who is deployed. a few ...

A.   19 October 2011: i believe that this is a very stupid and sweeping statement that your friends have made. of course SOME will cheat, but not all all. some girls are just not the cheating kind, no matter were you are in the world they just won't do it. talk to your ... (read in full...)

A girl at work is very touchy-feely with me but she has a boyfriend.

Q.   A girl I like text me to wish me happy birthday. She works with me and is quite a bit younger than me (I'm late 20s, she's early 20s). The texts were really informal, call me by my short name and had lots of x's in them. She even sent a text (the ...

A.   19 October 2011: sounds like she's got it BAD. what is your problem exactly though? do you like her? and is so does she know? she is not happy with the boyfriend by the sounds of things, or maybe she is just incredibly two faced and she may be just as flirty and ... (read in full...)

My wife's old journal mentioned sex with her ex and now my imagination is making me jealous

Q.   I was wondering if you could answer a couple of questions: I recently found my wife's journal, and of course I should have put it down but I read part of it and she had a section in there about sex with her Ex... She was quoted as saying "I have ...

A.   19 October 2011: maybe you are experiencing a bit of a fear of the unknown, because you do not KNOW how they had sex, your imagination is filling in the gaps and making it some epic that it might never have been. she was younger and less experienced back then and ... (read in full...)

Do you ever get over a first love?

Q.   Do women get over their first love that they had sex with for their first time, or even if it wasn't a first love that they had sex with the first time?nEven if it has been several years since it took place? I would like to hear views from the lady...

A.   19 October 2011: you are probably over-thinking this, i can only tell you from a woman's point of view and can tell you that me and my friends never ever chat about our first loves with each other, so therefore, they are not on our minds. obviously i cannot comment ... (read in full...)

Why is my fiance trying to look different?

Q.   Ever since we got engaged, my fiance has been trying to look different. While I want her to have all the freedom she wants (I don't want to be controlling), She is no longer recognizable to the attractive, beautiful woman she was. She used ...

A.   19 October 2011: what is your relationship like, in general? do you think she might be feeling a bit stifled or controlled by you? if everything else is ok, then i don't think you should worry about her appearance. lots of girls get bored with their look and want a ... (read in full...)

I'm starting to see a red flag -- is it really there?

Q.   I wanted your guys or girls opinion on something? I met this realy nice lady, we are about the same age we hit it off great and actually still are, though we have been going out exclusively with eachother for only 6 weeks. Now this woman has neve...

A.   19 October 2011: gosh - you sound like my EX boyfriend, the way you read into her getting home at 1.45am, 'bar time' thats just the sort of thing he used to accuse me of (of note - prior to meeting me he was having an affair with a married woman, so he knew a thing ... (read in full...)

I'm starting to see a red flag -- is it really there?

Q.   I wanted your guys or girls opinion on something? I met this realy nice lady, we are about the same age we hit it off great and actually still are, though we have been going out exclusively with eachother for only 6 weeks. Now this woman has neve...

A.   19 October 2011: gosh - you sound like my EX boyfriend, the way you read into her getting home at 1.45am, 'bar time' thats just the sort of thing he used to accuse me of (of note - prior to meeting me he was having an affair with a married woman, so he knew a thing ... (read in full...)

Do you ever get over a first love?

Q.   Do women get over their first love that they had sex with for their first time, or even if it wasn't a first love that they had sex with the first time?nEven if it has been several years since it took place? I would like to hear views from the lady...

A.   18 October 2011: i got over mine years ago! this is a very broad question though and i think it depends on who the lady is and who the first love is and the relationship that they had. some will get over, some will not x... (read in full...)

Why is my fiance trying to look different?

Q.   Ever since we got engaged, my fiance has been trying to look different. While I want her to have all the freedom she wants (I don't want to be controlling), She is no longer recognizable to the attractive, beautiful woman she was. She used ...

A.   18 October 2011: why the change? has she gotten new friends? does she go out more or has changed her job? has she started to idolise someone who looks this way? (a celebrity or someone she knows) maybe she did not really feel confident before, and it does not sound ... (read in full...)

I told him about my past, he went silent and now wont speak to me until he has 'forgiven me'!

Q.   I need some help. When I was 12, i was quite badly raped and beaten to within an inch of my life (I was in ICU for the following 2/3 months afterwards.) I did not open up to anyway and I still remain that way (like, i will jump if anyone touches me, ...

A.   18 October 2011: 'forgive' you? sorry this is a deal breaker, to say that to you and walk out on you with no further contact is absolutely appalling! i hope if he does come back you tell him where to go! after what you have been through you need someone who will... (read in full...)

I'm starting to see a red flag -- is it really there?

Q.   I wanted your guys or girls opinion on something? I met this realy nice lady, we are about the same age we hit it off great and actually still are, though we have been going out exclusively with eachother for only 6 weeks. Now this woman has neve...

A.   13 October 2011: very often people pick up on things and it pricks their intuition but then they bury it, the question them self and try to convince their self they are over reacting. so this is tricky. the bruise and the telling you about the ex does not strike me ... (read in full...)

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