Self medicating with masturbation and hypersexuality to alleviate stress?
Q. In addition to the obvious reasons for masturbating, I do so as a means of self-medicating myself and alleviating the stress and anxiety I feel in my life. I find that my life has only become only more stressful and demanding in recent years and ...
A. 13 May 2008: We don't know your age, but I assume you're a grown man.
I haven't experienced this, but I think you're taking away all the fun of masturbation. It is not intended to alleviate stress or whatever. It is intended only to alleviate some sexual u... (read in full...)
Should married couples seek outside help or try to work it out on their own?
Q. Should married couples get help with their problems from third parties? Or thrash it out at home? One to one using their own brains....
A. 13 May 2008: I think one to one would be best, but I wouldn't exclude marriage counselling.
The marriage counsellor can help you see better. However, in the end, you will have to deal with your issues one on one. And the recommendations you get from the coun... (read in full...)
Women, so confusing! What should I do about contacting her again?
Q. I am very confused at the moment by this girl I met 7 weeks ago. We were doing great, really liked each other, until 4 weeks ago when she started to ignore me then told me it wouldn't work, although until that point everything seemed to be going ...
A. 13 May 2008: I think she spoke her mind when she said you and her wouldn't work. Let her be.
This status, "With Every Tear I Wonder Why I Ever Ruined What We Had", might not be aimed at you, but at somebody else. Maybe she was on the rebound and you were the... (read in full...)
Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them?
Q. A question to the guys: Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them? This is the line that my boyfriend pulled on me and bailed, after HE implied that we're in the relati...
A. 13 May 2008: It would have been good to know the time frame. With this information at hand, I think I can't really know what is going on in his head. Maybe he is "hot and cold", yes. But, in a general sense, sometimes people can stay away from you because ... (read in full...)
Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them?
Q. A question to the guys: Can you care about someone so much and it makes you so afraid of losing them, that you'd rather not be with them? This is the line that my boyfriend pulled on me and bailed, after HE implied that we're in the relati...
A. 13 May 2008: Unbelievably, yes, and this can happen not only with people you're in a relationship with.
Suppose there's a co-worker, for example, who you value a lot, but who might be easily offended by the things you do or say. You will start by treading... (read in full...)
Why do I always put down my husband?
Q. I love my husband. Why do I always seem to put him down? I think that he is the most generous smart lovable good person that I've ever met. He is very shy, not real forthcoming with his feelings or affection for that matter. Doesn't like bei...
A. 13 May 2008: I agree with twist of fate: "You are the dominant partner and you will strive subconcously to maintain that position."
Also, you have some pending accounts with him, which you can't settle because he won't speak.
This should be an easy probl... (read in full...)
So Long Mr. NICE GUY!!! Pt.1
Q. "Nice guys always finish last" This is true in this modern society "Nice Guys" always finish last especially with women. If you're a man reading this (and I hope you are..) you realize this to be true. If you felt that statement was too far fetc...
A. 13 May 2008: Anonymous, I like your article. But you can't expect anyone to give you "good reviews". If you get bad reviews, well, so be it. You need to base your opinions, as much as your articles, on what you honestly perceive as true. Let other people ... (read in full...)
What are your thoughts or experiences about relationships between people of different nationalities?
Q. My question is about relationships with people of differing nationalities. I am Australian of english/irish heritage and my boyfriend is Greek but was born/raised in Australia. his brother is married to a women who is half greek and half anglo. ...
A. 13 May 2008: I happen to be the son of people of different nationalities, and I have been in relationships with people of different nationalities, too.
I would say that there is no need for you to worry. There is reason, however, to keep your eyes and, abo... (read in full...)
We both tested positive for Clamydia, does this mean she cheated?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for one year. We recently got tested and we tested positive for chlamydia. I have never cheated on her and I know it can be symptomless for a while. Funny thing is, I had my symptoms a couple of days after her. I ...
A. 13 May 2008: You need all your bases covered before you can be sure someone cheated on you. Ask your doctor.... (read in full...)
Have any aunts/uncles here ever met up and got on ok?
Q. I was just wondering (seeing how everyone on here seems to know the rights and wrongs of everything and can give perfect answers to everyone) if anyone had met each other as agony aunts/uncles on here and were now in a successful relationship? ...
A. 13 May 2008: Your question is in the line of "doctor, heal thyself". It seems to make sense: if we give advice to people on what they should do or shouldn't be doing, and occasionally we get angry and treat people harshly, then our relationships should be ... (read in full...)
Do you consider race a factor when choosing a partner?
Q. I'm a African-American male that likes all types of women. The women I used to be with are Latinos. I do not really care about ethnicity because if you look for someone that understands your needs and your strives, that someone may not be your color ...
A. 13 May 2008: I'm afraid that all the answers you will get will be in the line "race doesn't matter". We all know it shouldn't, and we all know it does. In more than one way.
There are, of course, those who wouldn't entertain a serious relationship with you... (read in full...)
How do I do break up without hurting her?
Q. Does it seem like I'm thinking this through rationally, am I being an asshole, or both? My girlfriend of a year says she loves me, and is always good to me. We have fun together, but she never hangs out with my friends, and when she does, she do...
A. 13 May 2008: You can't dump a person who loves you without hurting her. What you can do is break up in a mature manner, one that will spare her as much pain as possible. To me, that way is being frank and honest about what you feel and what she can expect from ... (read in full...)
If I lost her do to my shady sexual history, I'd be devastated! Should I reveal what I've done?
Q. I've recently started a relationship with the most amazing woman I've ever met. Things are better than I could have ever imagined and have ever been with anyone else and I'm certain we are both deeply in love with each other. The problem is that ...
A. 13 May 2008: Here in Dear Cupid it's usually the women who ask this kind of questions. I think the same advice we give to them would work for you.
First, don't say a word. Second, if she asks, tell the truth. And, most of all, think that your value for her ... (read in full...)
Where does your confidence come from? Any tips on improving my self-confidence?
Q. Hi, I know this is going to seem like a really random question but it would really help to have some ideas. I have always suffered from confidence issues and have low self esteem, though I have no reason to feel underconfident or inadeq...
A. 12 May 2008: My guess is that your lack of self-esteem or confidence come from being made feel that you couldn't do anything by yourself, or then from your looking at yourself in very hard or demanding terms.
You need to believe in your own powers. I guess on... (read in full...)
Should I include her in my future or not??
Q. About 6 months ago i met this really great girl through the internet. We met on a dating site, but we were there just to find people to chat with (wasn't strictly at dating site) because we had both just come to terms with our sexuality. An...
A. 12 May 2008: I'm sorry for your heartbreak. It is very clear that you do love her, and you think she is your great chance.
However, she's been very clear: she will never see you as anything but a friend. I think you should not include her in your future. ... (read in full...)
I'm feeling unbelievable lust for this man other than my husband. What are your thoughts on open marriage?
Q. Help! I am married to a wonderful man for 7 years now. We have 3 wonderful kids. I was out with my girlfriend and met this Brad Pitt look-alike from Brazil. He is so amazing in so many different ways. In the heat of the moment i shared with him a ...
A. 12 May 2008: I think you want us to approve your open marriage. That's not for us to do.... (read in full...)
I want her back as a partner, not a friend.
Q. My fiance' and I were together for 4 years. We have split and come back a few times, but recently she decided that it was time to end it for good. She still wants to be friends, but I still love her and wish her back. Is there anyway that I can ge...
A. 12 May 2008: No.... (read in full...)
We both tested positive for Clamydia, does this mean she cheated?
Q. I have been dating my girlfriend for one year. We recently got tested and we tested positive for chlamydia. I have never cheated on her and I know it can be symptomless for a while. Funny thing is, I had my symptoms a couple of days after her. I ...
A. 12 May 2008: Just in case, to avoid any mistakes, I will try to summarize what you said.
You have been seeing a girl for one year. Recently, you two had symptoms, and you two got tested. She was the first to have symptoms, and, a couple of days later, y... (read in full...)
He says he needs space...so why is he seeing someone else?
Q. Hi, My boyfriend told me he needed space and is seeing someone else. He still calls me, comes over, we go to dinner, etc. I love him so much and I don't know what to do. Should I just let him go? My heart seriously hurts everyday that I ...
A. 12 May 2008: I guess you should let him go. By saying he needs space, he has put your relationship in a sort of a stand-by: he can see or go out with anyone, and you can't complain. At the same time, he does things to keep you at arm's length. I think you ... (read in full...)
He was acting like a doormat but now things have changed and I feel like a doormat! Why?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 months. I know things change as you become more comfortable with each other, but it seems he has totally changed! He was the type of boyfriend that if I told him to jump, he would say how high. If ...
A. 11 May 2008: Very difficult question. You have produced a significant and everlasting change in this man. He used to be a doormat, and would have been one for anyone, but now he has changed his mind and realized it doesn't have to be that way. He will never ... (read in full...)
I'm worried he will confuse my genuine interest in him with my usual attitude! I'm a natural flirt!
Q. I am very friendly with all my work colleagues with some calling me a bit of a natural flirt (to both females and males), however, I am worried that the new work colleague which I like will not realise that I do actually like him. Without saying...
A. 10 May 2008: He needs to see a clear difference between your flirting with other people and your flirting towards him. I think the easiest way would be to tell him something.
Or, perhaps, to increase the level of flirting to a point where he will notice t... (read in full...)
Tested for STI's and came clear. How to inform my ex that I was mistaken?
Q. I was tested for STI's the other day. The doctor done a swab and said she had detected some cells that looked like chlamydia, she gave me antibiotics and told me I needed to inform my sexual partner. She told me I would need to phone the clinic a ...
A. 10 May 2008: I think you were very responsible in informing him about the supposed chlamydia, and now you'd be responsible, again, if you informed him the tests were negative. Let him think whatever he wants. You can show him the official results if he wants ... (read in full...)
I honestly never touched a woman's body while I was away working, and my g/f doesn't believe me.
Q. I've been dating this girl for 3 months, then on the 4th month we decided to live together. On the 5th month i went to Hawaii to work for 4 months (with continous communications, sending gifts and stuff to her). 2 weeks before i finished my 4 ...
A. 10 May 2008: As to the girl, "don't do nuthin'". That's history. Forget about her and all the et ceteras. You didn't see anyone else, but she did, and now she wants to put you in the defensive by striking first. Let her have her man.
As to moving on, you ... (read in full...)
Are these signs that she fancies me?
Q. The woman who works at the shopping mall that i sometimes go to, i suspect fancies me. When i buy stuff she will "go all shy" around me when i am at the paying point, and when i walk away she will look at me for a time and smile, but she doesn't ...
A. 10 May 2008: I guess these signs can be understood either way. However, if she's not making any other advances, I guess the message is clear, and negative for you.... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 10 May 2008: That could hurt, you know, girls?... (read in full...)
Is it normal to have your left ball bigger than your right ball?
Q. is it normal 2 have ur left ball bigger than ur right ball ...
A. 10 May 2008: I agree with Susan: yes, or vice versa. There's no reason why they should be the same size.... (read in full...)
I don't trust him Am I going paranoid?
Q. hey my boyfriend has had a very bad past. he has had a lot of girls that slept with him and co he was a bit of a player. he was really tempted to luk at girls n touch them and he was a real flirt. ive bin 4 him 4 3 years now and he says that he ...
A. 9 May 2008: I don't think you're going paranoid, dear poster. I think you're simply beginning to realize that your boyfriend's behavior offers little guarantees. You know that he could flirt and touch other girls any moment, which is a way to say that you're ... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to break-up but wants to experience "Single Life"?
Q. My partner and I are both deeply in love with one another. We have known each other now for 5 years, and are very serious with one another. She has told me that she would like to marry me, and spend her life with me. I would like the same. However, ...
A. 8 May 2008: Well, man, I'm sorry, deeply sorry, for you. I will not make another post here. I did what I could.
When you end up heartbroken and miserably used, you'll remember me, and say "I was such a dunce for not paying attention to that bastard"... (read in full...)
She doesn't want to break-up but wants to experience "Single Life"?
Q. My partner and I are both deeply in love with one another. We have known each other now for 5 years, and are very serious with one another. She has told me that she would like to marry me, and spend her life with me. I would like the same. However, ...
A. 8 May 2008: I know how painful this situation can be for you, so I will give you the most honest and wholehearted advice I can give you.
Break up with her right away, and don't ever turn back.
I know I will look like a bastard without feelings, but I'... (read in full...)
Any ideas on what to do other than give her the space she needs right now?
Q. My girlfriend seems to have lost interest lately: not wanting to talk as often, not writing letters or wanting to webcam like we used to(long-distance relationship) and just seems generally distant overall. She says she just needs space for herself ...
A. 8 May 2008: Fear of losing someone you love might always be there, if you think about it. There's never true certainy that the person you love will never stop loving you. That's all the more difficult if your relationship is based in her wanting to be with ... (read in full...)
I think my husband is having a cyber affair!
Q. I think my husband is having a cyber affair from his work computer which I cannot access. He is on travel, and appears online claiming to be working very late at night. How can I go about seeing that he is telling the truth or not? ...
A. 7 May 2008: If this is all the information you have, I'm afraid I can't agree that he's having a cyber affair.... (read in full...)
I keep miscarrying, why can't I stay pregnant?
Q. Hi everyone, I feel like i'm about to just break down and just die it's tearing me apart that i can't ever stay pregnant, or get pregnant when i want! I was 5 weeks pregnant and i have no idea why i have miscarriages. Its tearing me apart, i dont...
A. 7 May 2008: I think your doctor should tell you whether there's something that makes you miscarry. I wonder if he hasn't.... (read in full...)
How will I know which is the right condom to use?
Q. I need to know what type of condom is good to wear while having sexual intercourse?...
A. 7 May 2008: I think sex at your age can bring many inconveniences to you, but I know there's no stopping a young guy who wants sex, so I will make a few comments. Better a young guy buying his condoms than a young guy and a young girl having a baby, or a ... (read in full...)
What's the definition of adultery?
Q. Technical question - Are you committing adultery if you aren't the married person in the affair? If you are the girlfriend of a married man, are you still considered to be an adulteress? And would you only be his mistress if he supported you in ...
A. 7 May 2008: I agree with Oldersister. The good think is that none of us is among those just slurping it up.
I think there's a reason for all this chit-chat. Being called "adulterous" or "mistress" feels derogatory. This woman wants to be just that, bu... (read in full...)
She says she is getting "tired down there". Is this because she is dry or her organ is fatigued?
Q. I have a question about fingering a girl. Theres this girl I've been fingering and sometimes she orgasms and others not. But the times when she doesn't she claims that after a while she is getting "tired downstairs" so I'm wondering if that means ...
A. 7 May 2008: Here's my suggestion, in honor of a sage lady:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/advice-to-young-men-about-young-women.html
... (read in full...)
My husband's penis is abusing him!
Q. Got your attention didn't it? This is sort of strange question. My husband has a pretty low sex drive, he does not suffer from sexual dysfunction, his drive is just naturally low. When he gets sick though he gets erect a lot, I mean a lot and s...
A. 6 May 2008: I think you should rule out priapism, the effects of which, by the way, are not pleasant at all.... (read in full...)
She said she's been "attached" too long and wants to be single and have some space...
Q. I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 years, everything was going well till year 3 when she wanted her space, at that time she never really got it and things went back to normal. Last weekend she just broke it off, she said that she ...
A. 6 May 2008: One more thing. Your female friends are telling you that she is giving you excuses. Men don't understand women, but women have the great ability to understand each other. So, if these female friends of yours are telling you that these are ... (read in full...)
She said she's been "attached" too long and wants to be single and have some space...
Q. I've been going out with my girlfriend for almost 4 years, everything was going well till year 3 when she wanted her space, at that time she never really got it and things went back to normal. Last weekend she just broke it off, she said that she ...
A. 6 May 2008: I believe it is a lost cause. Or, rather, I don't think there's anything you can do to win her heart back. If you had that chance, she'd be telling you to change this or that. Since she's informing you she's leaving, I don't think that's ... (read in full...)
Is an 8 year age gap a major one?
Q. I am dating a boy 8 years older than me. Will this be called age difference? I mean relationship with major age difference or this is normal as normal as when one is just 4 years older??? Any comments??...
A. 6 May 2008: In your case, the gap may not be that significant. If you're 21, he's 29; if you're 18, then he's 26. If you're just starting college, however, and he has already ended it and is looking for further studies, that can be a problem. I think it's ... (read in full...)
What's the definition of adultery?
Q. Technical question - Are you committing adultery if you aren't the married person in the affair? If you are the girlfriend of a married man, are you still considered to be an adulteress? And would you only be his mistress if he supported you in ...
A. 6 May 2008: I don't know if you, dear poster, are just looking for the information, or want to define a situation. I think it's the latter.
Whatever way you look at it, and whatever name you give to it, sleeping with a married person is wrong. It doesn't ... (read in full...)
She says she is getting "tired down there". Is this because she is dry or her organ is fatigued?
Q. I have a question about fingering a girl. Theres this girl I've been fingering and sometimes she orgasms and others not. But the times when she doesn't she claims that after a while she is getting "tired downstairs" so I'm wondering if that means ...
A. 6 May 2008: When she says that she's getting tired, she's telling you like it is: she's not enjoying it. You didn't please her those times.... (read in full...)
| Danielepew's friends
These are mutual friends, so Danielepew has
added them and they have added Danielepew!
|
