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| | softtouchmale2003's profile:I am 50 years old in the middle of my adult life. I was with someone for 6 and 1/2 years and our relationship was broken apart by outside intervention, that is other people, for the 2nd time in those 6 and 1/2 years. This time I fear its for the final time.
Having had my heart broken twice by the same woman, I am still reeling about aimlessly in space.
With that, there is a willing person here to impart lessons of life, love, learning and so much more.
I live in the Southeast and travel widely. My relationship status is lonely.
I enjoy new sensations, exploring the world, and anything that can bring life; especially now to an empty heart.
My book can be found at lulu.com:
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I will leave my husband as I have been living a lie, what is your advice?
Q. When I married my husband I was so in love. I trusted him but recently found out he had betrayed me by spending thousands and thousands of pounds not only on gambling but on other women. I found text messages from a girl, called Claire... and I ...
A. 24 November 2009: Hi there,
Well you could spend an enormous amount of time obsessing over his infidelities. Frankly I would have to say, if you filed for divorce, you can go with option 2, that is the gambling, or sudden loss of thousands of pounds a month.
... (read in full...)
Do other christian girls masturbate?
Q. Do other christian girls masturbate? i feel like im doing something horrible. I dont have a boyfriend and never even had one. Lately ive been so horny so i wanted to hear more stories about girls my age who do and are strong believers too. I know ...
A. 22 November 2009: Instead of feeling guilty about this, remind yourself that God gave you a body that works in all sorts of ways. And that's important.
Forget the preachers, forget the judgmentalisms; forget all the taboos about masturbation. Its all made up junk.... (read in full...)
How do I get her to fall back in love with me?
Q. The woman i grew up with and was to get married to broke up with me years ago. 2 yrs ago we got back in touch and we both admitted we still love each other. But the last 2 yrs all the guys she tried to meet just use her and degrade her. When i asked ...
A. 22 November 2009: This one's simple. She hasn't figured out what she wants out of her life. Until she sees a future with you, she's going to keep looking for whatever it is she thinks she wants.
As a friend, you're "safe". But as a friend, she's using you because ... (read in full...)
Cheated now confused... I am sad and lonely... why?
Q. Hi, I just need some advice I dont know what to do I cheated on my husband because I wasnt getting the affection I needed, but I knew from the begin that the guy I was cheating with was married and it would never be anymore than sex. Now Im just so ...
A. 22 November 2009: The first issue here is whether you want to keep your husband and it seems from what you've written -- you do.
The second issue is you're going through a guilt and shame phase. You cheated because you weren't getting the attention that you need... (read in full...)
I told him I had Herpes and now he won't see me
Q. Met this guy 5 times and really hit it off. Just before 3rd date I told him that I had genital herpes. He said he was falling in love, and still met me for date, but then told me we could only be friends. I havent seen him for 2 weeks, and last ...
A. 22 November 2009: Well it could be he's gun-shy. Did he just break up with someone else? Are there lingering ghosts of a past marriage?
Sometimes its hard for a guy to just get into a relationship with a woman especially if he's still hurting over the last one.
... (read in full...)
I told him I had Herpes and now he won't see me
Q. Met this guy 5 times and really hit it off. Just before 3rd date I told him that I had genital herpes. He said he was falling in love, and still met me for date, but then told me we could only be friends. I havent seen him for 2 weeks, and last ...
A. 22 November 2009: It could be personal problems. It could be the herpes. My experience is that you can still have relatively safe sex with herpes, you just have to be careful when the virus is active.
You might want to be kind, wait a little bit and ask him if h... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 21 November 2009: The only thing that concerns me is that she's still visiting the online dating site.
That's creepy. If she's got you then what? Is she looking for more options?
Would she feel all comfy if you were on the same online dating site hitting on ... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 18 November 2009: Its one of those things. Maybe she saw what she was losing? Maybe she didn't know what she had?
It could also be she's cake-eating. That is dangling you on the end of a string while going out and having the time of her life.
In either event my ... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 7 November 2009: Sadly it appears you have not been able to reconcile with him.
Its very hard to find true love in this world. As time marches on, if your now ex-boyfriend doesn't see the bigger picture, he will forever be wandering about looking for somethin... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 28 October 2009: I can see what you're saying there. I am so sorry that he was mean to you. I've been hurt by many women in the past, and I don't recall ever calling any of them a "bitch, whore or slut".
I think maybe he's still a bit immature, and so it takes ti... (read in full...)
Nice guy has turned into a jerk! Now what?
Q. Ok well here goes nothing..I have nobody else I can talk to and I need to get some advice. First I am going to ask people not to put me down for my decisions, because i could never regret them. I have 2 beautiful children who I love very much. My ...
A. 24 October 2009: Wow! I feel terrible for you. What is it, does "loser" run in the male side of that family? Twins no less?
Okay here's a possible solution to your problem.
Your boyfriend has to stop taking drugs and drinking. The booze and the dope have comple... (read in full...)
Did she disappear because I said I love you?
Q. please help on this case i wish some experienced aunties would give me some fullfilling answers me 33 yrs and a girl 37 yrs both married but she intiated the flirting atmosphere with me, in other words she was persuing me for a long time before...
A. 24 October 2009: The flirting was just that. She doesn't want you as a lover. She was playing with you. Now that she got you to say the magic words, its not fun anymore.... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty about watching porn?
Q. I watch a lot of porn and can't help myself everytime I try to stop. Should I feel guilty about this?...
A. 24 October 2009: At your age? No. But I would suggest setting it aside and trying to find a real person to occupy your desires instead of trying to enjoy sex vicariously through pornstars.
Just a suggestion. Having a desire for sex, or a curiosity about it is he... (read in full...)
How can I help him see I'm trust worthy?
Q. I have been with this guy for a little over a year our begaining wasn't so good. I have learned to trust him but he still don't trust me. How can I help him see I'm trust worthy?...
A. 24 October 2009: There really isn't much detail here about why the beginning was so rocky.
Trust is something that has to be built up through a lot of communications and time spent together.
He may have a lot of baggage dragging behind him, so that trust is no... (read in full...)
Should I end my marriage or stay in it for my son ??
Q. 37 years old, successful doctor, married for 8 years and have only one child .. he is 6. I am in love with another woman for sometime now .... she doesn't want the role of being mistress ... she want a full relationship and to divorce my wife if I ...
A. 24 October 2009: A few questions come to mind.
First you say, "Previous times of affairs were just for sex ... this time, I am really in love ...."
Were these previous affairs connected with the same marriage that you are in now? Or were they affairs that led... (read in full...)
Why do I feel ashamed after I cum?
Q. How is it that when I cum I feel ashamed after?...
A. 23 October 2009: Its a very good question. It all depends on where it all goes. Is this after you have sex with someone else? ... (read in full...)
I will leave my husband as I have been living a lie, what is your advice?
Q. When I married my husband I was so in love. I trusted him but recently found out he had betrayed me by spending thousands and thousands of pounds not only on gambling but on other women. I found text messages from a girl, called Claire... and I ...
A. 22 October 2009: I am so sorry for you. It seems that you have been through something. The gambling, the seeming porn addiction, and possible affair.
There appears no hope to reconcile here? Not at all?
In either event, there is little advice to offer here as... (read in full...)
I would like to hear your story if anyone has had any dental surgery done!
Q. This isn't a question as much as a thank you, and a request. I've been a site member for a little while now and I've gotten a lot of really sweet emails from a lot of Aunts and Uncles. Some thanking me, some asking for advice, and some just to tal...
A. 22 October 2009: Hi Satindesire, and thank you for all the kind words you've sent out to every one. Here's a few kind words for you.
May your wisdom teeth be gone, your time in the chair be brief; and your recovery be swift and painless.
And ... if you do ge... (read in full...)
I feel awful and don't enjoy the hookers I visit..how do I rid myself of this sex addiction?
Q. Hi Im from the UK and just want someone to help me about a sex addiction before it gets out of hand. I am a 21 year old guy who has never had a girlfriend and just feels lonely. I have hobbies that i do (gym a lot) but for some reason recently ...
A. 22 October 2009: Its not very thrilling or satisfying to have sexual relations with women for money. There's no emotional connection there, and you feel terrible about it because you're getting sexual gratification, but mean nothing to the women you're having sex ... (read in full...)
He is deeply spiritual and senses spirits around him. Should I stay away?
Q. Hello Advice please asap Ive met a great guy online and plan to meet me him on Sunday. He is deeply deeply spiritual, says he feels things, knows things, senses spirits and that he feels them around him all the the time.... His mother was...
A. 22 October 2009: If he's truly a "medium" perhaps his spiritual friends can give him a heads up on your doubts. :)... (read in full...)
He is deeply spiritual and senses spirits around him. Should I stay away?
Q. Hello Advice please asap Ive met a great guy online and plan to meet me him on Sunday. He is deeply deeply spiritual, says he feels things, knows things, senses spirits and that he feels them around him all the the time.... His mother was...
A. 22 October 2009: It all depends on what he believes. People who live in that version of the world may very well experience spiritual encounters. They may be real or maybe they aren't. If he's functioning normally, I would suppose he's harmless. On the other hand i... (read in full...)
How do other women get over their husband's unfaithfulness?
Q. PLEASE, How do other women 'get over' their husband/partner's unfaithfulness??? As far as I know it was 'only texting' sexy and flirty stuff but it's just too much to bear! I can't see myself EVER being able to cope xx...
A. 21 October 2009: The first question should not be "how do I get over this?" it should be "Why hasn't he told me why he would do this?"
Is there something going on or not going on in your relationship with your man that would cause him to stray outside of the marr... (read in full...)
I'm at a loss for new fantasies. Any ideas?
Q. My boyfriend and I have sex 1 to 2 times a day. We both like kinky wild sex. The problem is that he often tells me to tell him my wildest fantasy, to not be afraid to tell him anything, to tell him something I haven't told him before. This really ...
A. 21 October 2009: Its sounds like both of you are sensation junkies. That said, try joining a BDSM club and mingling with some more fetishists. You know you don't have to engage in just about everything 2x a day. Take a break and try and pick living out a few ... (read in full...)
My mom kicked me out and I have no idea where to go.
Q. Hey, I'm 16 (turning 17 in January) and my mom kicked me out. I don't know what to do because my Dad just got kicked out too (sensing a theme anyone?) and he lives with his mom so there's no room for me. This is the first night so I have no idea ...
A. 21 October 2009: Probably your best bet is to go to one of the womens' shelters or contact the United Way in your town.
There are half-way houses for runaway teens, though you didn't run, it seems heartless that your dad and grandmother can't make space for you ... (read in full...)
Stay as I am, or move on?
Q. I think I'm falling for someone else. We're scarily similar, we connect completely and this is a rarity because we're both sort of oddballs in amongst our friend groups. We like the same EVERYTHING, and I've started to find myself looking out for ...
A. 21 October 2009: It seems you and your boyfriend have hit the fork in the road. You may love him, but his behavior is getting violent towards you.
This could be that he senses that you're attracted to someone else, or that the two of you have diverged and ended up... (read in full...)
I cant get enough...Has anyone felt this before?
Q. im 18 and i really like this guy who is 33 years old he likes me too , we know it's wrong ,but just can't gt enough of each other has anyone ever felt this before?what to do?...
A. 21 October 2009: There's nothing wrong with being attracted to one another. What else would there to be wrong about that.
If the two of you have started seeing each other and the emotional energy is there, that energy can continue indefinitely if you want it to. ... (read in full...)
Moral beliefs on fantasies?
Q. I was wondering what people think about this one. I feel that if you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't fantasise/masturbate over someone else. To me, at that moment in time you're choosing to be with (think of) someone other th...
A. 20 October 2009: I have to also agree with Satindesire's last post. It isn't just men who fantasize. Women especially have rich fantasy lives which often does not get articulated enough in many marriages and relationships.
Many times they suppress their own fant... (read in full...)
Am I going to resent him for all my suffering? I cheated.
Q. After 10 yrs and three children, I cheated on my fiance. I dont know how to make him understand that I was going through some serious emotional problems. He feels that I fell inlove with the man, and although some actions gear towards that ...
A. 19 October 2009: PPD man that's rough. Okay well, the advice I gave would still stands but the problem I have is the abuse you're going through. Maybe you made a mistake and cheated, but its not a reason for him to torment you.
If your husband is abusing you, the... (read in full...)
Should I convert to Christianity for him?
Q. Hi dear cupid. I need help again. I broke up with my boyfriend for one week but now we get back together again.(we're long distantance) We broke up, because of his family. And I told him if he stop listen to his family and move on with me (just me ...
A. 19 October 2009: Religion is the biggest problem in the world, not just in relationships between men and women.
Faith is an unquestioned belief in a superior power or diety called God or Allah or whatever the name is.
From this point of view, you say you were... (read in full...)
Moral beliefs on fantasies?
Q. I was wondering what people think about this one. I feel that if you're in a relationship with someone, you shouldn't fantasise/masturbate over someone else. To me, at that moment in time you're choosing to be with (think of) someone other th...
A. 19 October 2009: If you don't let your imagination grow with you, then you're suppressing your inner self.
Fantasies are healthy. Some can be legitimately acted upon and some not.
You're going to old-school Christianity that says if you think it, you've sinne... (read in full...)
She deleted me off her contact list. What's wrong with her?
Q. well when my ex found out i had a girlfriend she was suprised and started asking me when i went out with her and that she wanted a picture of her then she kept calling and texting me all the time and most of the time i didnt answer her back and she ...
A. 19 October 2009: You two either need to keep seeing each other F2F, or just leave each other alone.
What's going on is simple. Like Satindesire said. A total failure of communications BOTH WAYS!
No one can understand what you wrote, because neither one of t... (read in full...)
Boyfriend broke up with me because his friends don't like me
Q. My bf broke up with me because his friends didnt like me. They put an enourmous amoutn of strain on our relationship. Obviously, his friends and their opinions are important to him. And I can understand him wanting his friends to like me and for me ...
A. 18 October 2009: His friends are pigs. He let them tell him what to do in his life.
You, on the other hand, have things that you do in your life that are less raucous than drinking and partying. So his friends may have been jealous that you were pulling their dr... (read in full...)
Do lack of actions show lack of care?
Q. I have a question, if someone that claims he loves you but then never calls, writes, or does anything to initiate contact, do you back off???? Very confused and told that it is your not believing in the love or trusting that is the fault. But ...
A. 18 October 2009: I would have to say that if he's neglecting you and avoiding you, no matter what he says, its obvious that you are not on his priority list. Now of course I do not know the context of how this message was delivered. As in, "I love you as a friend" ... (read in full...)
Is not wearing 50% of my clothing a self esteem issue?
Q. I know this isn't a relationship question but I'm a bit concerned... I have a vast closet and many, many clothes. They're all my size and in-style and I like them and everything BUT I don't wear 50% of them! I just feel like everything looks bad on ...
A. 18 October 2009: You MUST lose the clothes horse inside of you! This is a self-esteem issue and also an issue regarding vanity.
Personally, a woman who hoards clothing that she does not wear is an immediate sign of concern as a life-partner. In other words, i... (read in full...)
I fancy him but it would be social suicide to go out with him!
Q. This guy at school really fancys me but theres one problem. Hes a geek. I think i might fancy him aswell but it would be social sucide going out with him! He's asked me out loads and i keep saying no. I know your just going to be like well if you ...
A. 18 October 2009: "Social suicide"? Are you kidding? Didn't you know frogs grow into princes. Just look at Bill Gates. Don't let your fellow school mates (animals that they are) tell you who to date or imply that you must avoid at all costs, boys who interest ... (read in full...)
How can I learn to get over my past and trust a new person?
Q. I have been searching for answers for sometime and haven't found anywhere to turn to for help. I hope you can offer some advise to a man after a divorce. There are soo many places for women to go but not men. I was married for 9 years with 3 kids. ...
A. 17 October 2009: What you're suffering with is both shame (associated with a failed marriage) and fear (that you'll be abandoned again).
In order to avoid these to issues, you need to try and focus on your relationship with your new girlfriend. As you said, sh... (read in full...)
Will marriage stop a man from having an affair if he's in love/lust?
Q. My question is mostly for married men. Is it possible to lust over another woman and not act on it? I mean of course I know it is possible for a beautiful woman to get under your skin, but I'm wondering if there are men who even though the other ...
A. 17 October 2009: If a marriage is very good, a married man may act on an impulse to cheat on his wife for the thrill of sex with another woman.
However, at some point he's going to have a great deal of guilt and shame associated with the cheating. Its called l... (read in full...)
Am I turning into a jealous jerk?
Q. why is my wifes guy friend so important to her? My wife and I are pretty rocky right now. I don't know how to handle her spending so much time talking to her guy friends(one in particular). Its to the point where I have a lot of rage built up in...
A. 17 October 2009: Simple. Tell her you'd like to start seeing and hanging out with your female friends, and, if you don't have any tell her you'll put an ad in an internet dating site. Seriously.
Obviously she doesn't see that she's neglecting you, or worse ig... (read in full...)
My mother is ruining my relationship...what can I do?
Q. ever since i remember, my mother was in charge of everything. i'm also the youngest one, so i know she's trying to protect me and doesnt want me to get hurt. but that's the problem. i'm 20 and i have a boyfriend for three years now. she knows him ...
A. 17 October 2009: You must tell your mother to bugger-off and leave your love-life to yourself.
You alone are in charge of your heart. Inasmuch as your boyfriend and your mother love the same person (YOU), it is YOU who loves them both too.
Therefore, yo... (read in full...)
Why was my girlfriend angry with me?
Q. Last night my girlffriend was annoyed with me and continued berating me even after we had gone to bed. In short she was angry with me for not contacting her as soon as I arrived home. The background goes like this. I work full time and have ear...
A. 17 October 2009: Sometimes we neglect to spend time with each other in relationships.
What she's upset about is that it was Friday night, and she probably wanted to surprise you with something, and you being unawares, did something for work which --- she didn't a... (read in full...)
Am I going to resent him for all my suffering? I cheated.
Q. After 10 yrs and three children, I cheated on my fiance. I dont know how to make him understand that I was going through some serious emotional problems. He feels that I fell inlove with the man, and although some actions gear towards that ...
A. 17 October 2009: This is the part where you have to sit down with your fiance. The only way to heal this situation is for him, your fiance', to understand that you're suffering too. That though you love him very deeply and he's the one; what you did by having th... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 9 October 2009: Well pretty much what you've updated here tells me the same thing I saw before. She's regressed to her teenage years. She wants to be popular, a high school drama queen, etc.
I'd say she's still very immature for her age. What you're in love wit... (read in full...)
She's just not that into me and should I forget it!!!
Q. Hi :) I've been seeing the lady for 5 months now. She is 41, 2 kids separated for 3 years and her life is upside down - no job, bankrupt and mentally exhausted but an amazing women. She is trying to get out of it and probably will but who knows. I...
A. 5 October 2009: Finances, kids and fantasy lives all get in the way of a really good relationship.
She says she's 16 inside, which tells me that she's far too concerned about herself, and perhaps her children to be that into you right now.
However, she ... (read in full...)
I've let my insecurities get the better of me and just stuff everything up...
Q. I don't know what to do.. i feel as though my relationship, more myself has gone off track by a mile. I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years and am 19 and in the past year have become overly obsessive and insecure. i really don't kno...
A. 5 October 2009: The cornerstone of every relationship is trust. What you've got going on and have had going on for awhile now is a lack of trust or confidence in your boyfriend.
He's a flirt. Men do that. Sometimes its ego-stroking, sometimes its a way to get y... (read in full...)
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