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*lifton

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Undergraduate degree in Psychology, minor in Sociology. Currently obtaining a Law degree.

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I think my girlfriend is too promiscuous to me. Break up?

Q.   Dating for a few months I'm 30 she's 22, yesterday I found out a lot of pictures of her with her ex on her facebook from a few years ago. I asked her why she keeps them and she said she forgot to delete and that doesn't make any sense since they're ...

A.   23 March 2018: Sounds to me like you are the problem. She should do whatever the hell makes her happy and not cater to your insecurities. She can have whatever pictures she wants on her social media page and she can dress however makes her comfortable. You need to ... (read in full...)

Does she really love me like I love her?

Q.   I just recently found out that my wife, I'm a lesbian, only watches straight porn. I'm questioning a lot now, not so much about how I feel about her but if I could ever truly make her happy or if I have ever truly satisfied her. She's brought it u...

A.   16 November 2017: I think you are definitely overreacting. People watch all sorts of porn and it definitely doesn't reflect on what they actually like in real life. My God if people judged me based on the porn I have watched in my lifetime, they would think I was ... (read in full...)

I made a fake account and my boyfriend chatted with it!

Q.   i made a fake account recently and send request to my bf...and he asked who s this and then i started talking to him by telling fake family nd fake profession and all..he shared all his personal details with me he even send his pictures to me( fake ...

A.   28 May 2017: Your boyfriend is a cheater and a liar. The fact that he's willing to tell a random girl he doesn't know that he's not in a relationship means that if she were a real person, he would have been okay with cheating on you with her. He's dishonest and ... (read in full...)

I thought we'd made plans but she hasn't texted back!

Q.   Hey all! Need some advice here please. Earlier in the week a girl said I was amazing and that we should hang out this weekend. I texted her yesterday asking if the plans were still good and she said heck ya so I replied sweet that's what I like to ...

A.   28 May 2017: She definitely got your text. She's either really flaky and never really had the intent of meeting up with you, or she's nervous. Perhaps even a little combination of both. It's worth trying her again. Obviously don't be pushy but shoot her a text ... (read in full...)

Why he'd come back after 3 years after things ended so horribly?

Q.   Long story short, I was briefly acquainted with a man 3 years ago and it went downhill very fast. We were supposed to be strictly friends and things started getting weird and complicated with attraction and feelings and miscommunication. We were ...

A.   30 September 2016: Your post is quite vague. Maybe in an attempt to keep it short and sweet you left out more details then you should have. If you guys liked each other so much why didn't you pursue it? Were you both in relationships? Were you living out of town fro... (read in full...)

10 years later my ex writes me to say she's sorry. Do I ignore?

Q.   A random question here .. about 10 years ago with my first gf ,, we was going out for a couple of months and then she ended it and spread loads of bad things about me .. which tbf didn't help me and probably hasn't helped me to this day .One thing ...

A.   30 September 2016: It depends. I wouldn't be opposed to it. She may have just grown up and matured and looks back and regrets her actions. She might be sincere. If you are over it and forgive her, let her know. I see no reason why not. However, you owe her nothing.... (read in full...)

Is it selfish if I get mad at my boyfriend's appearance and silly behavior?

Q.   Is it selfish if I get mad at my boyfriend's appearance and silly behavior? Once he joked about we're having budget marriage with other bridegrooms in a ballroom. He also joked about the pressure of marriage in front of my friends. He said marriage ...

A.   25 September 2016: Honestly listening to the way you talk about him it certainly doesn't sound like you love him. I mean you just flat-out called him fat and said you don't like his appearance. And that you don't think he is funny. What exactly do you like about him? ... (read in full...)

I need help with my online dating profile

Q.   I am a gay female and have been on a online dating an friendship website for years. I am honest, caring and genuine, and also quieter and non party, but enjoy conversation, honesty, kindness and good communication is essential to me I hav...

A.   25 September 2016: First of all, I wouldn't necessarily call it judgemental to meet someone for a first date and determine that you are not compatible or attracted to the person. That's kind of the nature of online dating. You need to determine whether you click or ... (read in full...)

Am I crazy or is this gaslighting?

Q.   Am I crazy? My husband has the habit of lying to me about little things. For example, he'll say he has nothing planned for the weekend and the weekend will roll around and he'll tell me that he has to go to work (and he does- I can verify that and ...

A.   25 September 2016: From someone who has truly been a victim of severe gaslighting, no, this is not the same thing. Little white lies are quite different than intentional, manipulative tactics designed to make you completely question your own sanity and understanding ... (read in full...)

What to do? I'm dating a woman aged 30 and I can't handle her "sleeping around" in the past.

Q.   I'm in my early 20s, not perfect but I met a woman who's 30 recently and we really hit it off. However shes has a LOT of bad things in her past. I'm not misogynist and I have obviously slept with girlfriends but she did a load of crazy stuff when...

A.   20 September 2016: First off, being "liberal" doesn't mean you fuck dudes in crowds. Just throwing that out there. There is no correlation between the two. Who cares if she has a past?? Don't we all? What matters is the type of girl she is now. Is she honest? ... (read in full...)

Two years and the relationship has never advanced?

Q.   I've been seeing this guy on and off for almost 2years we have not advanced in our relationship yet he tells me he loves me but makes no effort. is it too late to ask him to just be friends?...

A.   20 September 2016: Of course it's not too late. It's not like you have to be like "well, since it's been two years, I guess I have to stay with him forever whether I like it or not." If it hasn't progressed, it's time to move on, as this isn't meant to be. Nothing ... (read in full...)

Would the average guy spend 1.5 hours in a store or was he lying?

Q.   Is it possible for a guy - your boyfriend - to be in a store for 1.5 hours??? The same store??? He was out for awhile and I asked him about it and he said he was at an auto parts store for that long. He said he was browsing. That there were lots ...

A.   20 September 2016: The real question to me seems to be why are you so suspicious? That's a bit much to be counting the minutes and seconds he's gone to the store. Has he given you a reason to doubt him like prior history of cheating or do you have significant trust ... (read in full...)

I'm alarmed at my LDR boyfriend's interest in a receptionist

Q.   I'm in a long distance relationship. We only see each other about once a month. We've been together over 3 years. My boyfriend enjoys buying old cars from auctions, fixing them up, then reselling them. He has always brought his cars to a friend's...

A.   18 September 2016: I'm always an advocate of trusting your gut! If your gut is telling you something feels off, than something is probably, in fact, off. As to what to do about it, your options are limited. You could be the overly possessive gf who forbids him from... (read in full...)

I'm feeling hurt after finding a photo of my Gf giving a kiss to an older guy at an outing with work colleagues. How do I get over this?

Q.   i found a picture of my girlfriend kissing an older guy at a bar. My girlfriend an i have been dating for almost 6 years now and i always let her know that i do not mind her going out to hang with co-workers or friends. She never goes anywhere so...

A.   18 September 2016: Okay, so I do see why you are upset. But I think this is one you have to let go. I can envision the picture in my head of what it must have looked like, and it honestly sounds pretty innocent. You may hear some differing opinions here, however, it ... (read in full...)

I'm married. Should I be trying to contact my school crush from many years ago?

Q.   Hi I'm about to reach my 30. I'm married and have a child. Living life happily with lovable wife. Recently, I got the contact of a girl who was my classmate in middle school. I had a crush on her but it was untold as my family moved out of tow...

A.   18 September 2016: You need to cut contact as you are being deceptive and unfair to your wife. You cannot love this woman, as she was just a child when you met her. You are getting to know her again, as an adult, but love takes time to build. Time you can't gi... (read in full...)

I met up with someone from a dating site, didn't like her and don't know how to tell her

Q.   There is no way to say this without sounding bad but here goes: I met this girl on a dating site and she said her profile that she was looking to 'casually date with possibility of more' she even said she wants to talk 'awhile' before meeting i...

A.   18 September 2016: Damn, you've got a stage 5 clinger on your hands! These things happen all the time when you try online dating. I've been duped many times from pics where the person looks nothing in person like their photos. It is somewhat deceiving. Like false ... (read in full...)

How does this plan look to you?

Q.   So I have posted about a guy I met online. I managed to find cheap plane tickets to visit him, so I am going there in a little bit. We have been messaging for over a month and skyping/texting for over 2 weeks. I really like him and I just want to ...

A.   18 September 2016: Wow, you're flying in and leaving the same night? That's a lot of effort to meet a guy. You must really like him. Sounds like a good plan. Why didn't you stay the night? Could have gotten a hotel, worst case scenario. ... (read in full...)

Unexpected break-up. Can anyone give me any advice? Advice from guys would be much appreciated.

Q.   Me and my boyfriend were together for nine months and I was so happy. Suddenly, he broke up with me on Monday and I don’t understand why. He said he thinks we’re not suited and have different life experiences but I don’t understand how this can...

A.   18 September 2016: I know you didn't necessarily ask why he may have split with you, but it sounds like the distance may have been the culprit. Long distance is definitely difficult as you don't get to see the person much and there are so many other potential options ... (read in full...)

How do I go back from a bad first impression?

Q.   I said something without thinking and now someone at work is offended. I feel so stupid because I didn't even realise it could be offensive. But a TV presenter introduced himself to me and also made it known that he was a presenter. I didn't ...

A.   17 September 2016: Wow, yeah, he sounds like a smug, arrogant asshole. I wouldn't even worry about it or give it second thought. Someone seemingly so vain and arrogant deserves to be knocked down a few notches in my perspective. Can't imagine behaving that way.... (read in full...)

I can't fall in love again..why?

Q.   Since coming out of a two year long toxic relationship way back in February, I've been finding it really difficult to fall in love with anyone else. I really loved the guy I was with and still believe I feel something for him as he was my first love ...

A.   16 September 2016: First of all, try to relax as its only been a short time since you split with your ex. Of course you'll find love again. But you have to be ready for it. Second, what I think you're mistaking for love from your previous relationship sounds m... (read in full...)

How do I cope with all the guilt?

Q.   Please don't judge me! Two years ago I got hired as a live in nanny for a family that I met at a gym. About 9 months after I started working there the father kissed me. There had been some flirting hit I didn't think anything of it until he kissed m...

A.   15 September 2016: Hey there. Reading all the responses and your latest update I get the impression that you genuinely really do feel bad for how everything played out. Try to keep in mind that you were still quite young and you made a mistake. Everybody makes ... (read in full...)

I know my boyfriend is fed up with my working hours but does that excuse the fact that he's making stuff up and playing silly mind games?

Q.   I'm having a bizarre argument with my boyfriend and I wonder if I should stay with him because of what he's said. I work unsociable hours in a job I really don't like but as I live by myself I have to work even if I don't particularly lov...

A.   14 September 2016: Yes, that would put me off, as well, as I consider myself to be a very responsible person and would never consider dating someone who would place hanging out over a job. That's very childish. I, myself, work weekends, so I completely understa... (read in full...)

Does he now not want to see me any more?

Q.   I hooked up with this guy i have been meaning to hook up with months ago So i went to his place and things were going on but midway just before the intercourse i stopped and asked him to stop and just left quickly I haven't heard from him yet. ...

A.   14 September 2016: That's a very vague question. I'm confused. Why did you stop him? Were you not wanting to sleep with him? Were you having doubts? What caused you to stop him and leave in such a rush? Those details matter. If I were in his shoes, I'd probably... (read in full...)

Please advise!!! What should I do about this situation with my girlfriend??

Q.   Okay, so this is my first time posting any sort of question online. I've been on and off this site for years just browsing never thinking I would ever need to post anything on here, but here I am. So here's the issue, me and my girlfriend have bee...

A.   14 September 2016: Wow, I am sincerely sorry to hear you are going through this. I can only imagine what you must be feeling. You are being very calm and rational despite how I feel I would be behaving if I were in your shoes. To me, this could and would very lik... (read in full...)

I'm extremely insecure about my boyfriend's lesbian friend who seems so accomplished compared to me

Q.   My partner of 3 years and I are engaged, I am feeling so down about myself and insecure over something I have noticed ever since I first got with him. He tells me he loves me very much and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and everyone ...

A.   14 September 2016: Everything YouWish said. It's not the girl that has done anything wrong. She even complimented him on how wonderful and beautiful you are. She's not interested in him. I actually have a situation almost identical to this where my Fwb (who is ... (read in full...)

Our LDR started out with good communication and I just want that back. Am I being unreasonable?

Q.   Help! I've been in an on again off again long distance relationship with a younger man for about a year. He came on very strong, consistent, and attentive, and things were great. He would call, text, we had weekly face time dates, and he would ...

A.   13 September 2016: You you are not paranoid. If inwere a betting person, I'd bet everything in my bank account that he's in a relationship either with that same woman or a different one. Either way, you are feeling the way you do because he's seeing someone else and ... (read in full...)

Should I stay at this workplace and ''prove'' myself or accept one of the offers I've received from other car dealerships? My manager here is difficult.

Q.   I need help on a career decision.. Sounds bad right? Well I have been working for a car dealership for about 5 months now. They were looking for young people with little to no car sales experience. I had a lot of experience selling other pr...

A.   13 September 2016: I would put in my notice and leave. Sounds like you are very under-appreciated and like they don't have any intentions of letting you prove yourself. If you are being offered other sales positions at other lications, I would immediately jump on ... (read in full...)

I have nothing in common with my work colleagues. How do I get out of spending time with them? Any coping strategies that might help?

Q.   I'm a fairly new member on this forum but thought I would post as there seem to be some people who talk a lot of sense when posting on here. I would be interested to hear your views on my situation.(Apologies in advance for the length of the post...

A.   12 September 2016: Hi there. I certainly am in no position to diagnose you. Although you know yourself better than anyone else. If you think you may have autism than perhaps you do. That being said, you stated "Anyone got any coping strategies when you work wit... (read in full...)

How can I better control my emotions when I'm hurt during tae kwon do tournaments?

Q.   Hi, i need help with stopping myself from crying when i get hurt. I was doing a taekwando tournament, i am a white belt and the person i was sparring with was a black tag. She battered me and punhed me in the face and head till i fell to the floor. ...

A.   12 September 2016: Is it anger you are feeling that is leading to tears, or is it pain? Or frustration? What emotion/feeling is triggering your tears? Try to figure that out, and you may be better able to learn how to effectively deal with it better. In general,... (read in full...)

Crushing on someone 31 years older. But how can we have a future?

Q.   I am crushing very hard on a 57 year old man and he doesn't know. He's told me that he feels a "connection" to me is attracted to me and cares for me. We went out as friends and ended up talking for almost four hours in a restaurant. He was ...

A.   12 September 2016: Hey there. I just replied to a different thread about age gaps, but the OP was a minor. It's completely different when both are grown adults. I can absolutely see how and why you could fall for a man who is so gentlemanly and has much wisdom. And I ... (read in full...)

When does an age gap become too big?

Q.   How big do you think age gaps in relationships should be? In all kinds of relationships: friendships, romantic relationships, sex buddies. Do generational differences get in the way? When does an age gap become too much to relate to someone in ...

A.   12 September 2016: Sorry, just saw you aren't from the states, as I referenced what state you live in.... (read in full...)

When does an age gap become too big?

Q.   How big do you think age gaps in relationships should be? In all kinds of relationships: friendships, romantic relationships, sex buddies. Do generational differences get in the way? When does an age gap become too much to relate to someone in ...

A.   12 September 2016: Judging by your age range, I would be the approximate age of the person you're asking about. With that being said, I would NEVER consider a dating/sexual relationship with someone your age. It may not be illegal depending on the state you live in, ... (read in full...)

Should my dinner companion have taken offence? An acquaintance said I was rude to check my purse while the other woman was talking. Was I rude?

Q.   Was this wrong? I only meant to check my purse, did not mean to be rude?!? Went out to dinner last night witha friend i dont often see.. We talked while we ate, as people do. After eating she was talking,i WAS listening but quickly checked my purse...

A.   11 September 2016: Lord no that's not weird!! If my friends got butt hurt over such petty things, I'd reconsider the friendship. It's one thing to be on your phone or distracted the entire time, and another to check your purse for 3 seconds. No, this shou... (read in full...)

Why? All my life people have taken an instant dislike towards me and I don't know why. What needs to change?

Q.   All through my life I have struggled getting people to like me, people take an instant dislike to me and I don't know why. I'm not rude, I'm polite, I can be painfully shy at times and I think people mistake this as being rude or stuck up. Been ...

A.   10 September 2016: Well that does clarify things a bit. It does sound like you've made a bit of an effort with them. Some people are just hard to get to know. They may be particularly catty and sometimes, families can be quite judgmental of their siblings or child... (read in full...)

Is she insecure controlling or both?! What do I do!!

Q.   My girl friend doesn't know how to relax, everything bothers her. My friends claim she cries way to much and her friends claims she's bossy. I've stopped doing many things because she claims she doent like them and now I cannot respond to her claims ...

A.   10 September 2016: The most important thing I learned from my previous relationship was that I cannot hold my feelings in. My feelings and emotions matter. And I won't ever be manipulated out of expressing them ever again. That being said, you should never feel too... (read in full...)

Is it possible that my therapist may like me a bit too much?

Q.   I haven't had a session with my therapist for a while. I met him again recently and he was acting differently to me (I've known him for a while). His eye contact felt like he was staring at me and he was constantly smiling at me. We also joked ...

A.   10 September 2016: Well, smiling and eye contact are certainly traits all good counselors should have. Eye contact is an absolute must for the job. And sometimes, intense eye contact can feel quite intimate. And also, the tone of voice may be geared towards soothing ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with this? He broke up with me due to the lifestyle of my Uncle, who died 23 years ago.

Q.   Hi, My friend of 1 year 3 months decided to break up with me because of "society" as he says. Because my family background doesn't match up to his expectations,my uncle(my dads sister married him)the uncle in question,who died 23 years ago was a ...

A.   10 September 2016: Not that I liked George W. Bush (US president) - I loathed and despised the man. But he married a Democrat while he was a well-established Republican. Of course, she eventually changed over and sold-out. However, point being, politics is just a cop ... (read in full...)

Do I drop these friends or just renegotiate my friendship with them?

Q.   Now I'm 30 I realised I'm surrounded by people who push their own needs. Example 1 the friend who is unable to have fun if it doesn't involve alcohol and drugs, he has an infinite appetite to take drugs and alcohol and looks a state when he does. He ...

A.   10 September 2016: Assuming they are in your age range, they most likely won't change. Especially the one you say is particularly resistant to change and new things. I have a friend just like this. She eats the same things (cheerios EVERY NIGHT from the box, a certain ... (read in full...)

Neighbors won't share parking spaces

Q.   Hi, my question is not a relationship question but I need your suggestion. I live in a 2 floor apartment. The first floor neighbors are a couple in their early 30s. We didn't have a parking and I wanted to leave few months ago for this reason but my ...

A.   10 September 2016: Of course it's not childish! It's incredibly rude they park and block the driveway! Why on earth would they do this? Completely disrespectful. They don't own that driveway. They rent the place just the same as you and you have just as much right to ... (read in full...)

Can people tell when they're "the mutton dressed as the lamb"?

Q.   Just in case people are not familiar with the term “mutton dressed as lamb" - it refers to older people who try to appear younger (and usually fail dismally). And it's most often applied to women who wear clothes that are aimed at a much younger ...

A.   10 September 2016: Maybe I'm the wrong person to answer this, but I say wear whatever the hell you think you look good in! Life is too short to give a damn about how people judge you. But this is coming from a person who would probably wear a burlap sack if I felt the ... (read in full...)

Why? All my life people have taken an instant dislike towards me and I don't know why. What needs to change?

Q.   All through my life I have struggled getting people to like me, people take an instant dislike to me and I don't know why. I'm not rude, I'm polite, I can be painfully shy at times and I think people mistake this as being rude or stuck up. Been ...

A.   6 September 2016: You said: "I try and make the effort in getting to know them better as I never bothered before but now I'm trying to get along with them as it's important, but I can just tell they don't like me at all." If somebody never cared about getting ... (read in full...)

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