Should I believe my intuition and ask my husband not to go on a business trip?
Q. I feel very uncomfortable talking about this even with my close friends. A couple of times in my life I had a very strong intuitive feelings about people whom I love (friends and family). Since I am a rational person, I've tried suppressing them...
A. 22 February 2016: Hi there,
I think you should tell your husband about your feelings, and that ought to convince him not to go. I don't know, but this happening so many times with you has got to mean something.
Many years ago, one evening, my mother suddenly ... (read in full...)
Are my best friend and I in love?
Q. Okay so things with my best guy friend of about 4 years (I have known him since we were babies) have recently got more complicated. A few years ago our relationship was sort of flirty but nothing ever happened between is and then it fizzled ...
A. 22 February 2016: Hi there,
I honestly think that it's great that you two have feelings for each other and that you're best friends. It's literally every person's dream to be with someone who is also their best friend.
I don't see a problem with the two of you h... (read in full...)
I've been hung up on him for two years but haven't been able to rekindle our friendship or relationship! What should I do?
Q. So there's this guy that I've been hung up on for the past two years nearly. When we first met we instantly became friends maybe even a tiny bit more (constant flirting, long conversations etc). Then after a couple of months things got awkward. I ...
A. 22 February 2016: Hi there,
I actually think that you should give it one more shot and then let it be if he doesn't reciprocate.
Don't do it in a needy way, but just let him know that you're there as a friend if he needs to get anything off his chest or a shoul... (read in full...)
Starting to mistrust these excuses
Q. I was in a failed marriage for 10 years when i started dating a colleague who is 3 years younger. He was quite confident of our future at that time so i went ahead and filed for divorce with my husband. Now the guy I am dating feels that I am rush...
A. 17 February 2016: Hey OP,
I'm sure you'll do amazingly well in your life. You concentrate on getting on your own two feet, and being there for your daughter. I'm sure you'll find someone who is everything that you're looking for when the time is right.
Wishing... (read in full...)
My girlfriend flirts with all the boys!
Q. okay so I have this friend I'm going to call her Anna. she has always been really desperate and boy crazy even in the third grade she brags that she tongue kissed a 8th grader. she was one of those girls who made everybody uncomfortable at slumber ...
A. 17 February 2016: Hey there, Have you read the book 'Emma'? Please do not meddle in your friends' lives. Firstly regarding Ronda. Telling her parents that she is a lesbian is most probably, for one, a lie, and second, even if it might be true, it doesn't give you... (read in full...)
Confront the cad or befriend the heartbroken girlfriend!
Q. So, out of nowhere 6 months ago a random facebook friend stole my heart. He wished me a happy birthday, charmed me right off of my feet and for a few months after that we chatted incessantly, day and night. He's a world traveling performance artist ...
A. 16 February 2016: You say he's a performance artist who's travelled the world - are you sure she's not simply a lovestruck fan?
Why don't you ask him about this and see what he has to say first?... (read in full...)
Does my friend really love me?
Q. Sorry it's a long post, but I am really confused and need some help. A friend of mine told me last year that he loved me. I told him clearly that I felt only friendship about him. We went out later, got a bit drunk and we kissed each other. Life...
A. 15 February 2016: Hi there,
I don't know if his feelings are genuine or not, but at least from reading his responses it does seem so. Also, sorry to say, but you are definitely leading him on.
Why are you texting him to meet for coffee when you *know* how he fe... (read in full...)
Starting to mistrust these excuses
Q. I was in a failed marriage for 10 years when i started dating a colleague who is 3 years younger. He was quite confident of our future at that time so i went ahead and filed for divorce with my husband. Now the guy I am dating feels that I am rush...
A. 15 February 2016: Hi there,
Wow. From what you've written, I would say run for the hills. This guy is as spineless as they come.
Seriously, why didn't all this 'following his parents' wishes' thing come up when he was having an affair with his married colleagu... (read in full...)
I'd like to get to know my biological father but I know it will upset my mom and possibly him and his family too
Q. this is sort of the confusing story but I will do the best I can.I had a baby 2 years ago by a boyfriend I had been dating for 2 years before that. my mom my adopted father liked him ok, but they really didn't like me having a boyfriend because my ...
A. 13 February 2016: Hi there,
You really have an incredible amount of courage and persistence. Really, you are much much stronger than you know, and than your parents think.
I feel that you should definitely contact him. He is family. His children are your sibling... (read in full...)
How do I know the girl I met on European dating site is for real?
Q. Hi, I am an American man in my early 40s. I joined a European dating site 4 or 5 months ago out of curiosity. I've never been married, never related so well to Americans. Always liked Europeans more. I am employed but shy, never so good with wom...
A. 13 February 2016: Hi there,
Whatever happens, please do *not* travel to visit her, or do anything else rash like that, unless you can confirm that she is who she says she is.
OK now, regarding your questions.
Yes I do think that it's possible to know someone... (read in full...)
Wouldn't most parents be thrilled to have a kid like me?
Q. My mom and I are having problems right now and I don't know why. I will probably graduate at the top of my class in May. No drugs, gangs, or anything I like that. I am managing money for my dad and his partners and collecting nice management fees. I ...
A. 11 February 2016: Hi there,
I think that your mom is undergoing some stress in her workplace, or in some other spheres of her life, and that her frustration is coming out on you.
Maybe you not turning up to help your aunt was an incident which she took to mean... (read in full...)
How does he get away with cheating and then get the perfect girl and relationship and I'm left looking like the big bad wolf.
Q. I'm probably going to get a lot of hate over this but this is why I'm writing, for help and advice. Around 19 months ago I had an affair with a guy 11 years younger than myself who was in a relationship with an extremely beautiful girl a...
A. 11 February 2016: Hi there,
I'm sorry, but from your post, it seems that your main focus all along was on *her* and not him.
You didn't pursue him because you found him attractive, or liked him, rather, because he was 'with' her (so to speak). It seems like al... (read in full...)
Would I be better off on my own?
Q. My partner and I have been together for 6 years and have two small kids a baby and a 2 year old, lately it seems like we just talk bout the kids or house, I feel like I do everything with the kids on my own he works long hours but would never help ...
A. 11 February 2016: Hi there,
No I don't think it would be better if you lived on your own. Taking care of two young children is difficult in itself, without you being a single parent and the primary caregiver.
I think you both are in a bad mood because of the s... (read in full...)
Is it worth it to force my wife to talk about a 2 year affair she had years ago? We never talked about it and she doesn't want to now
Q. Ladies....Do you think its worth trying to insist that my wife and i talk about a two year affair that she had MANY years ago, that at the time, we never really did talk about,other than me telling her to end it or else it was going to be the end ...
A. 6 February 2016: If you need closure, then yes, you two probably should have that talk.
But remember that she ended that affair and decided to be with you. Don't use this conversation as a weapon against her. Just tell her calmly that you have unresolved issues r... (read in full...)
How does one encourage diversity and diverse ethnicity in volunteer hobby groups?
Q. This is a very different question that normally gets posted on this site but I've often found help (or at least food for thought) from the least likely of sources so here goes..... How do you encourage ethnic diversity within an organisation whe...
A. 6 February 2016: Hi there,
I don't know if I'm qualified to answer this question, but I would just like to add my two cents.
Regarding your question on why there aren't many people of colour in theatre groups. Usually acting as a hobby is considered to be... (read in full...)
My girlfriend slept with someone else when we were seeing each other. Can't get over it. Help!
Q. I need advice from the outsiders. As a summary, my girlfriend and i have been together for a year and a half now. A few months ago, we were on holiday to an exotic island, i pop the question, she said yes and we were all happy. At the end of our t...
A. 3 February 2016: I'd have to disagree. She didn't have to tell you the truth about what had happened, but she chose to. I think that is a huge plus point. It is understandable that you feel bad. This is the time where the two of you have to speak together and get... (read in full...)
I'm straight, my bi bff hits on me
Q. I am straight and a girl and my bff has recently come out as bisexual a few months ago. We all knew it by then, though. I don't have a problem with that at all, BUT... My problem is that she is hitting on me in public and when we are alone togeth...
A. 31 January 2016: If it's making you uncomfortable then you ought to tell her. Maybe she has feelings for you and has mistaken your platonic love for her as romantic love. She has probably assumed that you are bi as well.
Be gentle, kind, yet firm. Be sure to tell ... (read in full...)
Why do people string others along?
Q. My problem isn't romance or relationship related, but at this point the stress I'm feeling feels like a rejection. I seek advice here. Last year October I met with a mentor of mine and I expressed to her that I was looking for a job in a parti...
A. 23 January 2016: Hey there,
I'm sorry, but there are people like that around. Maybe he just felt that it was too much to tell you not to expect anything from him.
You should not lose hope. You have to try all sorts of avenues when searching for a job, and not p... (read in full...)
My husband left me for another woman. When does the shock go away?
Q. My husband of 7 years has left me for another woman and I'm very upset and not sure how I can handle this. My husband had been acting strange the last month or so and I've been worried, but when I ask him what's wrong he would always say he's ...
A. 23 January 2016: I'm sorry for what you're going through. But it will get better. Don't beat yourself up over it. He wanted something else, and the fact that he's not with you is his loss.
If he really valued the relationship he would have told you whatever... (read in full...)
Can't turn back the clock on what I saw
Q. Hi Aunties A few weeks ago I walked in on my boy friend masturbating in my bedroom. He has a key to my apartment, and I let him sleep there during the day when he works nights and I am at work. At the time it happened, he didn’t know that I ...
A. 23 January 2016: Hey there Amy,
It really is no big deal. He is just a normal guy. As someone else suggested, you could have offered to be a part of the situation rather than treat it as something external to both of you.
Relax and ask him what his fantasies ar... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? I walked in on my boyfriend while he was masturbating
Q. My bf has a key to my apartment. When he works nights, he likes to sleep in my apartment during the day because my apartment is quiet, and his apartment is often noisy during the day and he has trouble sleeping in his place. Recently, I got...
A. 16 January 2016: Hey there,
I think you could bring it up in a naughty or seductive manner. That way he wouldn't be embarrassed.
Or if you two are open enough, you could just have an open, casual talk. It's only a big deal if you make it out to be one. Treat it... (read in full...)
What's a reasonable degree of involvement with your in-laws?
Q. I'd like to have opinions from the Dc community about what's a reasonable / sustainable degree of involvement with your in laws. ( I have my own opinion, and I am also pretty sanguine about it- but, although I hate to admit it :) I can't al...
A. 13 January 2016: Hi there, I think how much ever involvement is comfortable for your friend is good enough. Every person might have a different level which they find comfortable, much will be dependent on the culture they grew up in, and of course, their ow... (read in full...)
I am at the end of my rope and struggling with health and family problems.
Q. This isn't about a romantic relationship, but I am at the end of my rope. I desperately need help but I am petrified because it seems hopeless. Let me preface this by saying that I had an emergency surgery a few days ago... I am heavily medicate...
A. 7 January 2016: Yes you CAN live on your own! You really can do this! Don't give in to all those negative thoughts, you just pay no heed to them and do what is good for you, your health, and your life. Whatever he tells you, they're only words. They might hurt,... (read in full...)
My husband is angry and said I was careless!
Q. Hy.im muslim.my hubby got 2nd marriage.its a long story bt the short question is my husband shared something with me about hr..one day my husband nephew borrowed my phone when he was going with hr friends.me gave n he changed the sim.bt didnt ...
A. 7 January 2016: You should tell your husband that it was completely unintentional from your side. Don't try and make her look like the bad guy because that won't look good from you.
Just apologise and tell him that you never meant to hurt anyone. And just for... (read in full...)
My partner abuses me and accuses me of cheating!
Q. i am in a relationship but my partner always suspect me just because before i did some mistakes like my ex dont told him but within 2 month i told him that i have allredy in relational but this not good relation thats i dont told you he always abuse ...
A. 7 January 2016: If he is abusive and keeps wrongly accusing you of things you haven't done - why are you still taking it from him?
You might think you love him, but this relationship seems more like a bad addiction than an actual loving relationship between ... (read in full...)
How do I handle this? I walked in on my boyfriend while he was masturbating
Q. My bf has a key to my apartment. When he works nights, he likes to sleep in my apartment during the day because my apartment is quiet, and his apartment is often noisy during the day and he has trouble sleeping in his place. Recently, I got...
A. 7 January 2016: Not a big issue.
He probably woke up from sleep - usually when guys get up they experience arousal, and he probably was thinking of you while pleasuring himself - thus your panties were next to him.
Relax, it's not a big deal. All the best.... (read in full...)
I love/hate him and feel I am going nowhere.
Q. The blush is beginning to fade from the rose. Met a guy in Nov. 2014 at a French speaking club. He pursued me from the get-go. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship (my first one) earlier that year. So, when he came along, I was ambivalent...
A. 7 January 2016: I think CindyCares has given excellent advice. I also agree that this guy neither seems like a liar nor a player. However, I feel that you harbouring so much resentment due to the fact that he can't spend more time with you, could be cleared ... (read in full...)
I am worried I may leave my children motherless.
Q. I am 5 weeks pregnant - 35 years old - just found out. Bf who I have had 2 other kids by (2 boys) - this would be my 3rd kid with him - so making it 4 kids in total is not really reacting much to the news. He was shocked at first but is leaving it ...
A. 6 January 2016: Hey there,
I think you should first talk to your doctor on the chances of a healthy baby, safe birth and your safety should you go ahead with your pregnancy.
If he/she says it doesn't look good, I think an abortion would be the best option.
... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend has been seeing his ex the 3 years we have been dating. Advice please?
Q. Have been in a relationship/known a man for 3 years. It's different to other relationships I've had and hasn't always been straightforward. Despite all that has happened, I do genuinely love him and feel a connection with him. My main issue is th...
A. 4 January 2016: Why are you still seeing this person? Yes, he is leading you on. I do not think that he is serious about the future of you both as a couple. He certainly didn't mind meeting his ex (actually not really his ex, is she) and continually lying to you ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is moving in with me next week and now I'm having all these doubts
Q. After a disastrous relationship before and subsequently staying single for the last 6 years, im now in secure relationship of a year but im scared and having trouble dealing with my emotions. Im naturally very independent and really enjoyed my time ...
A. 4 January 2016: Hey there, I think it's just nervousness regarding the big change in your relationship - I wouldn't give it much weight. From what you have written you and your boyfriend share a happy relationship. It seems like you are worried whether thi... (read in full...)
Is it best to end my relationship now? Or does he just need time?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years. He's my best friend and we had plans to buy a house together in 2016. He's been very hot and cold on the subject and I find myself worrying about our relationship more and more. He's promised me ...
A. 14 December 2015: Hi there,
He sounds quite a bit like me - procrastinator to the T. If I didn't have someone by my side, like you, who would keep egging me to go ahead and get things done, I probably would have done absolutely nothing.
Since you have been wi... (read in full...)
Might it be possible for him to be friends with me again? Or did my cousin say something to upset him?
Q. So in July of 2013 I started working at this new place. And well I became friends with one of my co-workers. He had a family (girlfriend, and 2 kids with a 3rd on the way) well I fell for him. And he knew I liked him. I ended up losing my virgin...
A. 14 December 2015: Why do you even want to be friends with this fellow? Certainly not a keeper. He cheated on his pregnant girlfriend with you. You lost your virginity to him. He stayed with her. Until now it seems like this could have been an honest mistake/ error ... (read in full...)
When do my needs start to count?
Q. I need help and I need help quick. My boyfriend is divorcing his ex'. The court hearing is in January. They get along. She has someone in her life. Me and her do not get along. Me and my boyfriend fought all this week because my daughter took a ...
A. 13 December 2015: The fact that that is her birthday which is also a cancer benefit makes it tough for him to decline that invitation in order to go out with you. I know that it hurts the ego (it would have hurt mine) but they were married - she had cancer. I think ... (read in full...)
How do I get this guy in my life?
Q. Hi, i just wanted to know if there was anyone who could help me, to tell me how it is best to get a guy that hasn't been in my life properly to be finally in it. i haven't seem him in a while and i obviously still like him at times it reall...
A. 13 December 2015: If you know his name you could always search for him on Facebook and contact him like that.
Since you don't really know him all that well, you could always initiate the conversation and get to know him first. Maybe online initially, and then pos... (read in full...)
I want my house back! Relatives of my husband keep on visiting, and then they stay. Solutions please?
Q. My husband is originally from Spain but moved to the UK to be with me and he now has residency here and we are married and we bought a house together. What i'm finding really annoying is that members of his family (from Spain) keep coming over...
A. 13 December 2015: I think since it's your husband's relatives, *he* should be the one to go and tell them that they have to lend a hand in the household chores.
Where I come from, the guest is treated like God. But even here, if someone stays for that prolonge... (read in full...)
He seems to feel resentment towards me. Should I sever contact with him and leave him alone?
Q. Ok, the story goes thus. I jilted a guy that liked me when I was 17 in the university some years back. I wasn't dating guy no 1 in particular but he had voiced out his intentions. I made him wait and then dated another guy. I remember the look on ...
A. 13 December 2015: I think he might still have a thing for you. Or he might have moved on and still bear resentment for what happened earlier. I know for a fact that I still do bear hurt for stuff that happened practically a decade ago. Even though I have moved on, it ... (read in full...)
I keep getting crushes on random people and fantasising about them. What's wrong with me?
Q. What is wrong with me? Someone please help. I have a wonderful husband that treats me like a queen (been married 4 years and been together for 8) and all I keep doing is getting crushes on random people, fantasising about them and stalking them on ...
A. 13 December 2015: I think all these are signs that serve to show that it is time to spice up your relationship with your husband!
Go out for some romantic time together, spend quality time and get back the spark in the relationship.
You clearly have something v... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm her 2nd option. Is it time to end this friendship? Sick of her letting me down.
Q. I am so frustrated with my friend because whenever we make plans to meet up or go out she always cancels last minute and its beginning to really annoy me! For example we had dinner plans the other week. I went to the restaurant and got us a tab...
A. 13 December 2015: I think it's time to call it quits on this friendship.
It's really good that you finally told her that you won't put up with her behaviour any more. In your post, you haven't mentioned any situations where she was there for you and was a really s... (read in full...)
He takes me for granted and I want to leave him. What's my best strategy?
Q. i hate everything my boyfriend says or does he has become a pain in my ass..... He is self centered and only treats me like a lump of shit...he is 24 hours on a stupid game...on his phone i dont mean anything to him he isnt how he was...he has star...
A. 12 December 2015: If it really is that unbearable then the right thing that you should do is to end it.
As the other aunty was asking, how does he not let you leave? Does he cry or throw a fit? If there is too much drama in this relationship, it'll be tough to... (read in full...)
I'm scared to tell my boyfriend that we are HIV coz he been suspecting my ex has it...
Q. boyfriend and I met after a long time chasing me...we had our 1st sex unprotected;we were drunk but I still remember I had told him I want a condom that night...months later when I became pregnant he kept asking me and telling me about my exes that ...
A. 12 December 2015: Yes, I totally agree with female anon reader.. Do let us know how you and the baby are doing.. Wishing you all the very best.... (read in full...)
I'm scared to tell my boyfriend that we are HIV coz he been suspecting my ex has it...
Q. boyfriend and I met after a long time chasing me...we had our 1st sex unprotected;we were drunk but I still remember I had told him I want a condom that night...months later when I became pregnant he kept asking me and telling me about my exes that ...
A. 11 December 2015: OH wait, just a second, sorry. He suspects that he got infected when he had unprotected sex with you?
OK, sorry sorry, I misunderstood earlier.
First of all, you can't know whether you infected him or were infected by him, or whether the two ... (read in full...)
I'm scared to tell my boyfriend that we are HIV coz he been suspecting my ex has it...
Q. boyfriend and I met after a long time chasing me...we had our 1st sex unprotected;we were drunk but I still remember I had told him I want a condom that night...months later when I became pregnant he kept asking me and telling me about my exes that ...
A. 11 December 2015: OK, one second.
He was already HIV-positive, before he met you? Why would you be worried about him walking away from you if you are HIV-positive, when that is already his status?
If he was HIV-positive and knew it, and he *still* indulged... (read in full...)
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