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*ollowtheblackrabbit

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Latest articles:

The Cheater's Badge

No replies yet...

27 April 2016: Can you ever forgive me? Will you ever believe me? I swear it, I love you. It was not you, it really is me-my fault. How could I ever tell you about it all? I love you because you remind about the best I have within myself. I can laugh with you. You ...

The Art of Arguing. What helps you to resolve issues in your relationship?

This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 May 2015: There's a song by Ne-Yo that absolutely cracks me up now whenever I hear it. "When You're Mad" talks about how sexy it is when your partner gets angry and more than implies the joys and benefits of make-up sex! Deep within my nature, I do hav...

Jack and Jill Are Crushing

No replies yet...

28 August 2011: Jack thought Jill was hot. She wore short, jean skirts with leggings underneath. She had nice legs. Her shirts were always nicely filled and her lips looked very...lush. She was smart too. Really cool. Jill though Jack was cute. He was funny, h...

Nice Guys

This question has 22 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

28 June 2011: Nice guys- a lot of us have overlooked them, rejected them, or simply ignored them. Then, we become interested and they're married. So, it's like a chick flick scene where a pretty girl tells her nice guy admirer that he's too much like a brother ...

Virginity

This question has 8 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

7 November 2010: Every time I see a sex question posted by a young girl 13-15, I cringe and tell myself, "Don't you dare read this." Myself stubbornly refuses to listen, blows me a raspberry, and reads on - hell is sometimes unleashed. The questions which affect me ...

A Glimpse into Love

This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

10 October 2010: I'm the kind of girl who goes around barefoot, fights pessimism daily, and has thoughts wild enough to graze with antelope. I've heard love on the radio- songs that sigh heartbreak or gush with joy at finding someone who truly grasped their he...

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He was still receiving photos from his ex!

Q.   So I found out that my boyfriend of 9 months still received pictures from his ex. He knew that it bothers me everytime she send texts, call or send selfie pictures. However, I do understand that my bf has no control of what his ex is sending him. ...

A.   22 September 2017: "My bf has no control of what his ex is sending him" soooo his phone can't block a number from contacting him? He has no absolutely no way of telling NOT to send her pictures to his phone? Interesting. I have male friends and I have female friends, ... (read in full...)

She's going into an arranged marriage, unhappy with the man. Please help!

Q.   I am an Indian. In our culture arrange marriage system is prevalent. Recently my best friend got engaged to someone. Her parents found that guy for her. Its been an year but not a day passed when she didn't complain about him. She always tells me ...

A.   22 September 2017: So sorry! Misread your details...... (read in full...)

She's going into an arranged marriage, unhappy with the man. Please help!

Q.   I am an Indian. In our culture arrange marriage system is prevalent. Recently my best friend got engaged to someone. Her parents found that guy for her. Its been an year but not a day passed when she didn't complain about him. She always tells me ...

A.   21 September 2017: It's wonderful that you care so much and put so much value on your friend's happiness. I will first say that I wish with all my heart that relationship counseling was mandatory before marriage for everyone. Why? Because we as human beings, ... (read in full...)

Do I tell potential dates from the start that I have acne on my butt and thighs?

Q.   I just got out of a 11 year relationship. I have body acne bad like on my butt and inner thighs. I feel gross...like no one will ever be with me because of the acne down there....would you be with someone who had acne there? Do I tell people about ...

A.   30 August 2017: "Hi, my name's Joe, I like working out, making my lady feel special and love animals. I also have terrible gas after eating pizza. I mean truly just knock you out, gas-mask bad gas. My left testicle is higher than my right and I have yellow ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says my friends took advantage of me.

Q.   Hello Everyone! Just wanted some insight on this situation. Last night, my boyfriend and I had friends over (my friend and his girlfriend) to watch the Game of Thrones season finale. I cooked a lot more than my boyfriend thought I should have but ...

A.   30 August 2017: Hello all! Anonymous_123: I don't think he has any trouble with this friend. In fact, he's said a few times that he wishes some of friends were like mine. If he does feel something negative, I guess he simply hasn't told me. HoneyPie: No,... (read in full...)

Is it ever ok for your boyfriend to insinuate that you're fat? Feeling hurt and ashamed, how do I react?

Q.   Hey guys :-) I was just hoping for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 7 years and I think of myself as a really good girlfriend to him. When we first got together we were both in very good shape. However over the years we've both put w...

A.   28 August 2017: Hi There, Your feelings are perfectly normal. I come from a culture where people tend to be very blunt and a cousin of mine commented that I was "going to rip through" the dress I was wearing. I went home and looked at myself, realizing that my ... (read in full...)

He finally admitted he didn't have an ex-girlfriend, he has and ex-BOYfriend!

Q.   When we first started going out, my boyfriend told me that he had an ex-girlfriend and that they broke up because she was horrible to him. I believed him and chalked up his refusal of talk about his past relationship to it being too painful. We have ...

A.   28 August 2017: This is a tough situation. I don't think any of us like hearing about the exes of a significant other and this situation is no different. I was concerned that he lied to you initially about this relationship but then, looking at this from the ... (read in full...)

I don't think I can give my girlfriend the best sex

Q.   So my girlfriend are I started dating two months ago but before that we were pretty close friends. We told eachother a decent amount about our sex lives. Now that we are together I feel like I won't be able to give her everything she wants. I want ...

A.   23 August 2017: Don't worry about it. Relationships are give and take and if you're not comfortable with something, you don't have to go for it. My ex mentioned to me that he likes thongs, I consider them "butt floss" and absolutely hate them but he wasn't phased. ... (read in full...)

I'm grateful for the advice, but I feel I will be single forever. How do I come to terms with this?

Q.   First off, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has advised me so far on this forum. I've gotten some great responses from some of you (WiseOwlE, BrownWolf, thanks for being so active in my posts and listening to me complain as much as I did). ...

A.   23 August 2017: Well, if you really want to focus on being single, watch out that's one way of getting a girlfriend! I was SO sure I was going to remain single and not two months after this pledge, in drops my boyfriend from the sky. He admitted later that me not ... (read in full...)

Guests are constantly criticizing my home, is this a new trend?

Q.   I have realised that one of the things that drives me crazy is people who come into my home and criticise it saying things like: 'This isnt a home..this is a house!" And always telling me how great their place will be or my place would be if they...

A.   23 August 2017: *Sigh. Yes, I have the same issue. My boyfriend and I moved into a nice (albeit older) apartment and we like it. I'm not big on knick-knacks etc so our walls only have pictures of his sea-diving and our furniture is basic. Our our friends came over ... (read in full...)

I don't want to marry a man that doesn't understand when he is being hurtful

Q.   My relationship is a jumbled mess, and I don't know if I should stand by any longer or make a break for it. We both treated each other badly for a long time, but to be fair, neither of us had standards back when this all started. 10 years ago, ...

A.   23 August 2017: I would like to bring two things to your attention: "He threatens me with sexual acts I don't like" and "He doesn't understand when he's being hurtful." Honey, these are signs of abuse bordering on sexual assault if these sex acts are forced on you ... (read in full...)

A guy I have a crush on wants to do things I've never done

Q.   Hi, Im 15 years old, and there is this guy who I like and he likes me back. He says that he wants to finger me and do stuff with me, and I want to as well but I am shit scared. There are so many things that Im worried about, and questions I want a...

A.   18 August 2017: First and foremost, I applaud you for questioning and thinking about these "things." Now, I have a few questions for you: How well do you know this boy? Have you gone on outings? Has he asked you to be his girlfriend? Do you go to the same school? ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wants to wait but I'm frustrated

Q.   My girlfriend doesn't want to have sex until she is married. She is a virgin. I am frustrated telling her how important sex is in relationship and how deeply emotionally we can be connected. She even used to give her ex bf liberty to have sex with...

A.   24 June 2017: Marry her or leave her. Sex may be important in a relationship but it's more important that two people accept each other's boundaries and respect them. If you can't do that, let her find someone who will and you can date someone who shares your ... (read in full...)

He's going to prison for 10 years and I don't want to wait for him. Is that wrong?

Q.   This is a really unique situation, I'm sure. So my fiance is going to be in prison for the next ten years. I've been with him 3 years. Is it bad for me to not want to wait for him?..I'm only in my mid 20s, and I don't want to put the rest of my ...

A.   22 April 2017: There have been plenty of romantic books and movies where the heroine tearfully promises to wait for her beloved as he goes off to war, a long sea voyage or a lengthy trip to "find himself." In your situation, your fiancé committed a crime and has ... (read in full...)

I put a profile on a website and my boyfriend wanted to meet! I'm devastated

Q.   Hi, Really need some advice and help, feel as if my heart is being ripped to spreads. I'm a trucker and met a wonderful gay guy 'T' 6 months ago, his into fantasy and hi viz' etc, I wasn't but went with the flow, trying to please, and get ...

A.   27 October 2016: Sounds like he's not ready to retire the single life yet...It's tough not being able to see the person you love often but hey, at least you had weekends together which is more that a lot of long distance lovers can have! You seem like you genuinely ... (read in full...)

I don't think his behaviour is ok. He told me to 'get over it'. What should I do?

Q.   A few weeks ago after a night out I ended up "making out" with a co worker that I'd liked for ages. He basically said that he'd had feelings for me for a while too and hadn't really felt that way before. We texted for a while afterwards until...

A.   26 October 2016:  He's obviously playing the field and lying around to get what he wants. Now, based on his concern about his "ex" finding out about his little games, I would say that he's probably still involved with her somehow and is afraid of being caught or ... (read in full...)

What would be your summation of what makes a guy so sexy? Is that impossible to define? Or could you say it is just a feeling you get inside?

Q.   Is there such a thing as a guy who you've just met or seen, who doesn't look like some kind of a model, and who makes you feel, "This guy is SEX! (gaaah, droool)...? What would be your description of what makes him so sexy, or is it impossible to...

A.   26 October 2016: Haha it's different for everybody! I remember having this "Gah! This man is SEX" moment when I met my current boyfriend. My friends don't find "hot" or "handsome" but he was hilarious and SO smart. On our first date he flashed those green eyes at me ... (read in full...)

BF got caught basically cheating, he hasn't reached out?

Q.   My boyfriend and i have been together two years. We have had trust issues because he got a girls number on a trip, and texted her flirting throughout and I found out about it. He said he made a dumb mistake and blah blah blah if I found out about ...

A.   26 October 2016: He hasn't contacted you...hm. Well, he either has no guts and is shaking in his boots about being confronted by you OR he knows he's done and is respecting your space. Honestly, I am inclined to think he will try something eventually. Maybe he's ... (read in full...)

How Can one forgive BETRAYAL of someone you love, cheating and now the the woman is pregnant?

Q.   I met the man of my dreams, my best friend over a year ago. we live together and his kids come over every other weekend " I Love Them". we went on vacation 5- months ago and I saw a girl kept calling? I asked who is she then my life forever cha...

A.   27 September 2016: I felt so sad reading your past and I am sorry for your loss. The way you described your boyfriend clashes with his actions. Having this affair, getting two women pregnant at the same time, that's scary and tells me that he is not responsible and ... (read in full...)

Should I be feeling so hesitant about agreeing to marriage and to him adopting my son?

Q.   My boyfriend wants me and my son to move away with him, he wants us to get married and he has always said he wants to adopt my son which is everything I want, but I can't help but feel bad that my son's real dad doesn't want anything to do with him ...

A.   11 September 2016: Hm. You're feeling bad about essentially, putting "on paper" what is already a reality. Your fiancé is your son's father. He was there for your son where all true fathers should be. Your son knows this and your fiancé knows this. I have a younger ... (read in full...)

I need help with a fading relationship, please? Can I make him happy again?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I started talking to my current boyfriend early on in the year. We talked all the time and everything was perfect - we made each other happy, nothing ever went wrong and we trusted and understood each other. We started going out...

A.   10 September 2016: Dear Anon, it sounds like the two of you are growing apart...the things you listed like: the cute nickname for another girl, the trust issues and arguments, not being positive about you...he seems like he's already checking while you are still ... (read in full...)

Should 13 year olds date 16 year olds?

Q.   I'm a 13 year old female and I'm dating a 16 year old guy.. I think I'm in love but I don't know if that's wrong. I mean my friends say that we are cute and my parents say that it's wrong because of the age difference. All I wanna know is if it's ...

A.   10 September 2016: Yes, it's wrong. I was in your shoes once with a crush on a seventeen year old and I had just turned fourteen. Three years might not seem like much but: he's in high school, has high school friends, is able to stay out late, is able to work, is able ... (read in full...)

I thought I stonewalled my wife from saving up for breast surgery but she's raised money on a website!

Q.   Angry at wife for finding her on a free breast implant website. How should I make her stop? I've been married to my wife for 10 years and we have two children together. Six months back, she said to me how unsatisfied she's been with how her bre...

A.   12 July 2016: Wow. This is interesting. On the one hand, I understand where you're coming from with the surgery. Implants are not a necessity and honestly, the surgery can be very dangerous-especially for a woman in her 40s/50s. So many things could go wrong. I ... (read in full...)

Grieving for my twin brother who died. My parents don't mention him. How can I get through this grief?

Q.   I lost my twin brother, actually i feel like i lost half my soul. I am never going to be the same person again because half of me has died. Family give reasons and excuses and say everything will work out. We had always been together, never ...

A.   9 July 2016: I am sorry for your loss. Losing someone we love is I think, the hardest factor in life. I don't think your parents want you to forget your twin brother who you were close to-he was also their son. But every one deals with grief differently. When my ... (read in full...)

I love women. But I seem to react differently. do get an erection when a woman sees me naked. Does this mean I might be gay?

Q.   There is something weird about me. As far back as I can remember, I have always been sexually different from normal men. I do not think I am gay. I am not attracted to other men at all. I am attracted to women, but in a different manner from ...

A.   4 July 2016: I don't think you're gay at all. Some people seem to believe that sexuality is black and white and that attraction is as well-not true! People don't speak about it often because we're so conditioned to think in terms of what is "normal" and what is ... (read in full...)

I fell in love with my much older professor. Help!

Q.   Okay I just graduated from a medical school. So I should feel blessed as being able to become a doctor after 5 years of hardships. But it do not turn that way, as I could not forget one of my professor at all. Well he is too old, now he is 70+ . and ...

A.   21 June 2016: I'm sorry you're feeling this way. Being infatuated with someone is more intense than some people like to think! But my dear, you are 25 and he is 70+. Right now, he may seem SO interesting in comparison to the men in your age group and that's okay. ... (read in full...)

I feel betrayed and devastated that my husband is regularly visiting a brothel. What are my options to deal with my hurt?

Q.   after 6 years of marriage I feel everything is falling apart! and I am completely devastated .. My husband is having an adultery, he is a regular brothel visitor. we got married after years of crazy deep love and commitment, now we are married for ...

A.   13 June 2016: I am so sorry you are going through this and no loving mother wants to put their child through a divorce but in this case, I don't think you have another choice. He had lied to you for years and spent money that could have gone towards making you ... (read in full...)

His mother uses foul language and my boyfriend say I need thicker skin!

Q.   Dear Cupid, My boyfriend (24) and I have been together for about 7 years. His mother never truly liked me. She told him I was ugly from the get go and expressed her jealousy in vicious ways. It is only until recently that she started warming ...

A.   11 June 2016: Wow. I wouldn't much like this either. It's not about thick skin but rather, respect. Now, people all over the world have different views on humor, but I have not yet ran into culture where uncalled for insults to another person was funny. My ... (read in full...)

Has anyone been in a lasting relationship where there was an age difference?

Q.   When I was 28 I was in a 4.5 year relationship with a younger girl, she was only 18 when we started dating. We had a son together and when our son was 18 months old she said she made a mistake settling down with me and wanted to experience her yout...

A.   10 June 2016: Yes, these relationships can last and do. Maturity does step in eventually and it seems that she does care for you. One note of caution: take things slowly. In the bliss of being reunited, both of you might want to rush into marriage etc but don't. ... (read in full...)

Why can't he see the potential I can see for our relationship?

Q.   OK there's this guy i was seeing for about a month I'm not going to lie and tell u it was amazing or anything but we got on great we always had a laugh and he always went on about how much he liked me and we even spoke about a future together. so ...

A.   8 June 2016: Well, I think the best thing to do is cross him off as a potential relationship and move on. HoneyPie said it all. He's not mature and the excuse that living 25 minutes away is "too far" is just that, an excuse. He probably just wants a friends with ... (read in full...)

Have I ruined things by telling this girl that I'm autistic? And inviting her to have coffee? Things are now awkward between us

Q.   I told a girl at work who I'm friends with. That I'm autistic and that I sometimes find it difficult to communicate people with people and to read people for example. Before I did a very stupid and foolish thing by asking if she wanted to meet for...

A.   6 June 2016: I know this is easier said than done but don't overthink things so much :) Asking her for coffee wasn't stupid or foolish, you like her and want to progress the friendship to hanging out outside of work. If she feels uncomfortable because you told ... (read in full...)

We have a child yet he won't commit

Q.   Hi everyone I've been with my boyfriend for 4 years now we have a 1 yr old daughter the problem is that as far as our relationship is going to go he wants no more children and marriage he won't even discuss he says he scared I've asked him about ...

A.   5 June 2016: Well. There could be a lot of reasons but of course, he's not sharing them with you. Some men do feel threatened by the idea of marriage as they'll feel "trapped" or "owned" by their wife. Or they focus on the negatives of a divorce. So, ask him,... (read in full...)

Enough is enough. Is walking away a solution? my adult son has mental health issues and my ex-husband does help with our son.

Q.   Hi, I was married for many years and my ex-husband, although he does not live with me, spends a lot of time at my home to help me with our son, 24, who has always had a number of mental health issues and now drinks heavily. I am so depressed with...

A.   5 June 2016: Wow. This is a very tough situation. First off, I commend you for being such a hard-working mother and caring for your son. At 24 years old though, he needs to make more effort to be self-reliant. Is he on medication? Speaking with a psychiatrist? ... (read in full...)

What's the sexiest thing about your partner?

Q.   What's the sexiest thing to you about your partner whether it be past/present/future. What do you find most attractive in someone else? ...

A.   25 May 2016: His eyes...I get weak knees ... (read in full...)

My parents forced us to breakup. Two months later what should I do?

Q.   Hello all :) I am writing seeking some advice from you good people as I have been facing the pain of a breakup for the past 2.5 months now. I have become depressed and mentally unstable through all of this, but am working really hard to become m...

A.   19 May 2016: Hello dear, thank you for the explanation. It's sad that your parents thought to end such a relationship when to me, it doesn't seem so harmful. My first love and I were constantly in contact and once spent about 12hours on the phone lol I'm sad to ... (read in full...)

My parents forced us to breakup. Two months later what should I do?

Q.   Hello all :) I am writing seeking some advice from you good people as I have been facing the pain of a breakup for the past 2.5 months now. I have become depressed and mentally unstable through all of this, but am working really hard to become m...

A.   18 May 2016: Why did your parents feel he was controlling?... (read in full...)

Why is he ignoring me? What would I need to do to win him back?

Q.   I met a guy 9 years older than me through a dating site two months ago. We seem to have a lot in common. I only met him once because we live 45minutes away from each other and usually varsity work keeps me busy. The day I was going to meet him he t...

A.   29 April 2016: I have a feeling this won't work out...he's been borrowing money and not repaying people...red flag! Then there's this issue with the website...you sent him a text proclaiming love etc and he hasn't replied. I'd say drop it. Don't text, don't call. ... (read in full...)

I have a toxic mother.

Q.   I have a toxic mother. Shes done a lot for me, but shes also damaged me a lot. Background: my mom is unhappy in her marriage. My dad bullies her. She does not make very much money, so she relies on my dad, and my dad takes full advantage of it. M...

A.   28 April 2016: Yes, she's toxic. Honey, you've done all you can AND more. I was raised in a similar culture where you respect your parents and are in a sense, expected to take care of them. But, it took me a very long time to realize this one amazing fact: I don't ... (read in full...)

I thought we were on the same page about a baby, but now he wants to go travelling.

Q.   A year a go I found out I had pcos and it horrified me that I would never conceive. I spoke with my partner and said I don't really want to wait to try for a baby - I'm 24 so it wasnt unrealistic. A year later and all of a sudden my partner wants to ...

A.   28 April 2016: In this situation, he was wrong not to discuss having changed his mind with you. That's not fair. After ten years together, you deserve to be informed. Now, he says he wants to travel and see the world. That's fine. Is that something you want too? ... (read in full...)

Can someone help me to understand why I am feeling this way? I haven't told anyone, but I really want a baby.

Q.   Hi im almost 14 and i really want to have a baby i love children my sister has 5 and there all babies i babysit them all the time. Their my world. I have a boyfriend but i havent told him or anyone about having a baby. I dont know why i feel like...

A.   27 April 2016: Hi! Don't worry, it's normal :) I was the same at fourteen, I could not wait! I thought of baby names, looked at the cute little clothes in the baby store and had daydreams about a little son or daughter. For now, be the best auntie you can! Enjoy ... (read in full...)

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