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*andid Cally

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Friendships, like all relationships, begin when like-minded people meet on common ground.

1234567891011Next > [13 pages, 482 answers]

Rebuilding our friendship after an argument, what do I get this friend as a birthday gift?

Q.   Hello everyone.(Early) happy holidays! So the story goes; Early April last year, me and two (at that time ONLY) close friends had a small argument that ended with the "silent treatment". The "silent treatment" lasted from April, through June...

A.   22 December 2012: Instead of a birthday gift for one, why not buy both of them gifts to celebrate the holidays? This way the friend who doesn't have a birthday in early January won't feel jealous or left out. (even if you think it won't bother her, it will if you ... (read in full...)

I am totally into him. And he's leaving for abroad in January. But has he just pranked and punked me? Was he never into me?

Q.   the whole story began in february. actually we had holidays but i did an extra uni course and stayed at the student's dormitory and so did some other students... there was my neighbour who is single. he came over to watch tv and chat a few times...

A.   22 December 2012: If he isn't having sex, why would he come over to borrow a 'rubber?' If you would like his phone number, you should ask if he would like to exchange numbers with him. If you like him, you need to tell him an see if he feels the same. Because... (read in full...)

Upsetting breakup. then the silent treatment. Is she putting up emotional barriers just to push me away?

Q.   So my ex broke up with me 3 months ago after I broke her heart by writing a goodbye message to her and ignoring her for two weeks, then showing up like nothing happened. (I was angry at her for a number of reasons, which I should have talked to her ...

A.   22 December 2012: Please just leave her alone. You broke up with her and didn't bother to contact her for 2 weeks. She doesn't have to tell you the relationship is over because you already broke up with her. It is over. Please be an adult. Stop being spiteful... (read in full...)

Conflicted: Is it really love? If so, now what? If not, how can I escape?

Q.   I am trying to decode this relationship I am in. I am having an affair (reluctantly) with a married man and I am also married but have been separated for years. He refuses to let me go. He has tried with my encouragement, but he is very weak for me ...

A.   22 December 2012: After reading through everything: I think your use of the word 'affair' confused me initially. To me a person who is having an affair is engaging in both sexual and emotional intimacy with someone they are not married to. As I understa... (read in full...)

Why are married men drawn to me?

Q.   I really have the hots for this guy that works at my place of business but he is married well actually the both of us are really feeling each other. I know this is wrong but why does this happen to me? it's seems like I attract men that are taken an...

A.   21 December 2012: There has to be something in your body language and personality: lots of eye contact*, lots of smiling*, engaging others in conversation*, being genuinely outgoing and welcoming of others, how you dress and carry yourself, and/or an air of genuine ... (read in full...)

I've got a crush on my brother in law and he's got bad taste in women...

Q.   hi, i think my brother in law got a crush on me. before i used to hate him for things he had done and trying to come between me and my husband. now all of a sudden he is being nice to me. we never used to talk but now he is holding conversation with ...

A.   21 December 2012: If he tends to choose unsuitable partners, use self-control to not become one of them as well.... (read in full...)

I admitted I was bi-curious, now she wants to date me...But I prefer men!

Q.   I'm in trouble. One of my closer girlfriends would like to date me but I don't think I should date her at all. I admitted that I was bi-curious but honestly, I've never acted on it and I don't believe that it changes that much about me. After she ...

A.   20 December 2012: I've lived through this sort of thing. I told my friend the truth, that I loved her and could see her as much more than a friend, but i valued our friendship too much to risk losing that special bond over a romantic gamble that could be devastating ... (read in full...)

I have a beautiful friend, and I'm jealous to the point where I don't want to hang out with her in places where she draws a lot of attention.

Q.   I have a dilemma. I have this friend, a girl, who I know for the past 5 years. She is very sweet, and we are not that terribly close, but we see each other we really enjoy each other company. The thing that about 9 months ago she broke up ...

A.   20 December 2012: Did you speak up to try and join the conversation? Did you text your friend to make sure she wanted to continue the conversation with the guys? I don't think you are angry with your friend for being beautiful, nor do I think you are seeking ... (read in full...)

I can't get past the fact that my husband had lap dances from strippers before we were married.

Q.   I have known my husband for abt 10 yrs now, married for 6 and we both are very happy, committed and loving to each other, expecting our first baby now. But just the other day, I was talking of pregnancy stretch marks and he goes - dont worry ho...

A.   20 December 2012: You are very pregnant and your hormones are likely making you feel very emotional. Have you ever been to a 'strip club?' The women who work there are pretty normal looking. Sure, they are wearing sexy clothes, and are covered in make-up and glit... (read in full...)

I'm an uncircumcised virgin. My penis swells after masturbation and it has me a little concerned.

Q.   Okay I have a little problem and it's kind of embarrassing. But ever since I could, whenever I masturbate my penis gets all swollen afterwards. I don't know why it does this. It's not like I do it a lot, I don't. And I don't do it too rough either. ...

A.   20 December 2012: Have you spoken with a doctor about this? A urologist or a general practitioner should be able to diagnose a condition if you do have one.... (read in full...)

So is this guy straight and just super comfortable with his sexuality, or is he sending me signals that he wants more?

Q.   So a little background first. I am a 29 year old closeted at work Gay man that works as a Paramedic. Recently I was assigned a new partner whom is 20 years old and quite good looking. I immediately took notice and began to develop an innocent crush ...

A.   20 December 2012: If he is socially awkward, he may not realize that you think he is flirting with you. He may also be touching you to try to get a rise out of you (pun not intended) to have you confirm your sexuality. He may also think that making his male friends ... (read in full...)

Is keeping a memory box lame and depressing? My friends comment upset me!

Q.   I just wanted to get another opinion on this as my friends comment I thought was rude and didn't make sense... Basically, in my room at university I put in this wristband someone gave me the night before from an epic night out in this box. She as...

A.   20 December 2012: Memory boxes are awesome!!! She sounds like a negative-nancy who doesn't understand the beauty and joy happy memories can bring to someone who is reminicing about their past. One thing that I recommend is that you keep a brief record of when you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend and I are both very outspoken. Will we be alright living together?

Q.   well, my boyfriend and I have known each other for 1 year and been together for 6 months, i meet him right before moving back from a other state. we have a good relationship we get along very well. we are currently live 9 hours apart, we are ...

A.   20 December 2012: I think you should both see a counselor who specializes in assisting couples with communicating. You can both learn how to approach and discuss delicate topics without stepping on each other's toes.... (read in full...)

I feel like my old friend likes it when things are not happy in my life

Q.   Hi there, I have a friend who I have known since I was 10 years old. She and her mother have always been a little bit jealous of me. My friend's mum is quite beautiful and was a model in her young days and her daughter wasn't exactly what she...

A.   20 December 2012: For many people, their most important goal in pursuit of happiness and in life is to find a loving life-long partner. It is possible that she feels like you are in some sort of competition and while you have a successful career and are beautiful, ... (read in full...)

My partner paid for his 16 year old's party and then his ex told him he couldn't go! How should he deal with her?

Q.   Ok so I am asking advice on behalf of my other half. He pays maintenance for his kids each month. He also buys things on top such as things for school. He doesn't mind doin this. However he has recently paid for his 16 year old party in whi...

A.   20 December 2012: Why didn't he simply talk to his 16 year old daughter and find out if she wanted him to go? He can always do other things with his daughter. Why not ask her what she wants to do and go do it?... (read in full...)

What can I do to deal with my flirty (but not with me) husband who will not make love to me yet masturbates regularly?

Q.   I have had it with my husband. We have been married for 16 years. The first 6 years I would say was great especially trying to have kids at that time. We ended up having 2 children. After our second child I noticed my husband wouldn't make an...

A.   19 December 2012: If you do not want to divorce him you both need to see a marriage counselor. If he will not go to counseling sessions with you, then you should go alone. Really, you need to be assertive and you need to confront him about the lack of intimacy... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is upset about what I did in a past relationship....

Q.   My bf is upset about what I did in a past relationship I am with my current bf for about a year and a half now, going on two years. We met in college and have a great relationship. My bf and I recently went back home to my family for the T...

A.   19 December 2012: I would wait for him to bring it up, then try to have a calm discussion with him about his feelings. Remember, not everyone is open to the idea of being joined by a third person in an intimate setting. If he doesn't bring it up and behaves ... (read in full...)

Why do guys ask for pictures of girls? Is he after a naked picture of me?

Q.   Guys why do you ask for pictures from a girl? Any specific reason? Is it normal for you to ask for a pic from a girl? I was texting this guy whom I've met a couple of times. He should have a "good look" at me already. So in he midst of the co...

A.   19 December 2012: Perhaps he wanted a picture of you to associate with your contact info on his phone.... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is upset about what I did in a past relationship....

Q.   My bf is upset about what I did in a past relationship I am with my current bf for about a year and a half now, going on two years. We met in college and have a great relationship. My bf and I recently went back home to my family for the T...

A.   19 December 2012: This is about what you want and whether he is mature enough to handle the situation like an adult. Do you want to have a threesome with your current boyfriend? Do you think he is mature enough to handle a threesome with another man? What if ... (read in full...)

Conflicted: Is it really love? If so, now what? If not, how can I escape?

Q.   I am trying to decode this relationship I am in. I am having an affair (reluctantly) with a married man and I am also married but have been separated for years. He refuses to let me go. He has tried with my encouragement, but he is very weak for me ...

A.   19 December 2012: I think you need to ensure that the married man sees and understands the following regarding his marriage: " Only you can restore her faith in you. A lot of homework may have to be done before a professional counselor comes in. You may need to find ... (read in full...)

How do I make it up to my room mate that I have ignored after he's been kind to me?

Q.   i have a room mate and i have really ignored him for no reason. he did alot of work for me for my car and stuff and i said i'll cook for him yesterday but then some of my friends came over that night and i offered them to eat with us but he did not ...

A.   18 December 2012: You need to make him food like you promised or pay him for his work.... (read in full...)

After a week on talking online he says he loves me and wants to marry me?

Q.   I recently placed a personal ad saying i m looking for a mate, I had over 20 response , most of the guys were playing or seeking sex so I finally came across a guy who sound great anyways we chated though email then he gave me his number , we ...

A.   18 December 2012: This is way too soon. He is either trying to scam you, or he is mentally or emotionally unbalanced.... (read in full...)

I was abused in the past. Do I have the right to become celibate in my relationship?

Q.   After years of having sexual problems, I have decided to become celibate. This is due to extreme anxiety and depression before and after sex that stems from emotional and slight sexual abuse. I was never forcibly raped, however, no matter how hard...

A.   17 December 2012: You have a right to be celibate. Your boyfriend also has the right to know that you are unable to perform sexually. I recommend that you see a counselor. You may want your boyfriend to come along so you can discuss celibacy and what it mean... (read in full...)

Ex was peeing while talking to me?

Q.   Ex bf of many years talking to on the phone often. he has now married. the other night i was talking to hime on the phone and he was taking a leak while he was talking to me. Is this a way some married guys get off?? or does he just feel comfortable ...

A.   17 December 2012: It means he had to pee while he was talking to you on the phone. Some people (especially men) don't realize you can hear what they are doing (like peeing in a toilet) while they are talking on their cell phones. ... (read in full...)

In love with my younger second cousin.

Q.   I am in love. But there are two problems that society will see with this. First is that she is my 2nd cousin. We've know each other for years but just recently fell in love. I the other problem is that she is 16 and I am 20. We really love each ...

A.   17 December 2012: The age difference is likely more of a problem than being second cousins. Please research the laws of your state before either of you act on your feelings. You could be charged and convicted of sexual offenses depending on what state you live in.... (read in full...)

I'm thinking about not going on holiday because it will give my boyfriend a chance to cheat on me again!

Q.   Please can somebody help me make a decision on this one... ';ast year me and my boyfriend broke up for a week or so and i actually did think that things were done between us spo i put a large deposit down on an expensive holiday for me and my child...

A.   17 December 2012: Is your child looking forward to going on holiday? If so, take the holiday! Your child is only young once. You can't forgo making pleasant memories together because an unreliable and untrustworthy man. This man will continue to be u... (read in full...)

Was my boyfriend really clean from drugs from the last 7 years? The internet searches suggest otherwise. Should I confront him?

Q.   Hi everyone, I've been in a very tumultuous relationship for the past year and a half. We love each other very much but we fight quite often on lots of different things. One of them is the fact that I have trouble accepting his drug addict past. He ...

A.   17 December 2012: Is it possible he lied to you about how long he had been clean because he knows how much you abhor his "drug addict past?" The truth is this: if you do not get along, if you are always arguing, and you cannot accept that he was once addicted... (read in full...)

FWB occasionally over si years .What did I do to turn him off so fast? And why build up expectations?

Q.   I have a guy who was a friend for a while and became a fwb about 6 years ago. We only would see eachother when not in relationships. I was fine and he was fine and although we have always been attracted to each other, our jobs are different an...

A.   16 December 2012: Could he be genuinely sick with the flu or something? I just think there is something else going on if someone who works out regularly doesn't make it to the gym because they feel tired or under the weather...that's usually a symptom that someone ... (read in full...)

Do you think this text was meant for some-one else?

Q.   Do you think txt was meant for someone else? Jsut want to know if you think im being paranoid or is this dodgy, A guy I have been seeing for a year now has been away to a friends birthday for the weekend. He has sent me a message everyday while he's ...

A.   16 December 2012: Call him.... (read in full...)

Mixed messages from tutor whose behaviour towards me keeps changing. This is the most confusing situation I have ever been in, can you help me figure out what on earth is going on?

Q.   Apologies for the really long length of this but I have a question regarding on/off 'mixed message' behaviour going on over a long period of time. I've asked about this before but would like an update please! Please don't judge me as obsessive, ...

A.   16 December 2012: First and foremost, separated does not mean single nor does it mean divorced. Next, he knows he could be punished for having a romantic relationship with a student. He would never put himself in a position where he could lose his job because ... (read in full...)

Sometimes I feel I must be the loneliest person in the whole world, and I can't see it ever getting better.

Q.   I'm 42 and I've never had a girlfriend, or really had a woman show romantic or sexual interest in me my entire life. I've struggled hard to understand why. I'm a perfectly pleasant person. I used to go out a lot and I go on dates so it's not that I ...

A.   15 December 2012: Prayers are not always answered the way we want them to be. My mother explained that often God says 'No,' as part of a bigger plan. But, she would also point out that, 'God helps those who help themselves.' Basically, prayer is not always enough ... (read in full...)

Did I over analyze this situation? Or was my bf's behavior's a red flag?

Q.   Dear friends, I met that guy 6 monthhs ago through friends and we instantly became friends then developed a love relation, it was based on respect and honesty. He told me that he used to be a player in the past and I heard that from friends too. ...

A.   15 December 2012: Could she have been a relative or an old friend?... (read in full...)

I'm tired of being rejected by girls. What is it that I'm doing wrong with girls?

Q.   girls, a question for you... why is it that girls can complain so much about things guys don't do, but then when a guy does those very things girls cry? i have been in four relationships, still in the fourth one as of now. but every girl i've...

A.   15 December 2012: Where is your passion?! You speak of love like it is simply some sort of routine, a set of duties you are obligated to fulfill. Why do you love her? What makes her special? What do you do to show her you can't live without her? Is it possibl... (read in full...)

Why does your partners use of pornography bother you?

Q.   Why does your partner's use of porn bother you? My reason is because they are getting off on someone that isn't me, I have noticed alot of other women saying it is disgusting and degrading that doesn't bother me as much as the fact it is a woman ...

A.   14 December 2012: As long as we are regularly intimate, i have no problems with my fiance watching porn. I'll even give him his space so he can watch porn in private to relieve stress or if i am too busy to join him in bed. The only time i ever had a problem ... (read in full...)

I had a vasectomy 4 years why was my wife was taking birth control pills?

Q.   Quick question for any women out there. I am married for 12 years, 3 kids, no "issues" per se. I’m a good dad, provider, etc. My wife is a good mom, hard worker and loves me. We went through a period though about 2-3 years ago for around 12 ...

A.   14 December 2012: Many women are prescribed birth control pills to treat hormonal conditions, treat endometriosis, lessen the effects of PMS or PMDD, or to control when and how often she has a period.... (read in full...)

Thoughts regarding retrograde a person's past really not any of the current relationship's business?

Q.   An observation from a straight guy: I CALL BULLSHIT on people who claim that lovers are not accountable for how their sexual past is non of their current relationship's business. What if you only ever had one girlfriend, and before she met y...

A.   14 December 2012: About anal sex...if she doesn't like it, it wouldn't matter if you or someone else did it with her first because it will NEVER be a part of your regular sexual routine because she doesn't like it. Next, just because someone tries somethin... (read in full...)

I broke up with him because he made me feel worthless! So why does it hurt so much?

Q.   Sorry about the length but... Hi Everyone, I'm so sad right now... I just ended a 10 month relationship with a guy that i actually thought i loved. We said we would never leave or walk out on each other.. I had to end it because i was left wit...

A.   14 December 2012: He didn't embarrass you in front of your neighbors. He only embarrassed himself. If you are friendly with your neighbors, perhaps you could smooth things over with them by apologizing and presenting them with a small gift (cookies, wine, ... (read in full...)

I broke up with him because he made me feel worthless! So why does it hurt so much?

Q.   Sorry about the length but... Hi Everyone, I'm so sad right now... I just ended a 10 month relationship with a guy that i actually thought i loved. We said we would never leave or walk out on each other.. I had to end it because i was left wit...

A.   13 December 2012: You didn't give up on him. You gave him plenty of opportunities to treat you with the love and respect you deserve. Instead, he chose to let his own insecurities cloud your relationship. Try to focus on work and rebuilding the friendsh... (read in full...)

I get very upset when my partner sees his child from a past relationship! How do I deal with this?

Q.   I have been with my partner for 15 months. We love each other very much. However, 7 months into our relationship I discovered that he has a child with his last partner of 2 years. I was skeptical throughout these 7 months as I had heard roumors, and ...

A.   12 December 2012: The only advice I have might help you feel a little less empty towards his son. This child should be at a fun age to interract with. When you smile and talk in an excited voice, he should smile back and act excited. He will probably love pla... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks.

Q.   I need some outside advice... We've dated for over 2 years now. My girlfriend has stood me up 4 times in the past 3 weeks. Each time, she had what sounds and feels like a reasonable excuse why it happened. First time, she had fallen asle...

A.   12 December 2012: Here's the deal: going out and having fun is low priority compared to being sick, hospitalized family members, and final exams. If she was going out and partying and avoiding you, then i could understand your hurt feelings, but she isn't. ... (read in full...)

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