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| | Lexie88's profile:I'm in my mid 20's. I'm a lawyer during the week and a photography/music/sport lover on the weekends. I have a degree in psychology but it's not that which qualifies me to answer questions as such...it's really the experience I've had with relationships and people that allow me to offer an opinion on this website.
I discovered this website when I was having 'issues.' It was great to get opinions from strangers and it helped me get things sorted. Now I like to help others by offering my own view on things and if my answer or even a sentence helps someone see the light then it's worth it. |
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We go to tea, but i'd like it to be more. How do I tell him? Advice please!
Q. I am interested in a co worker very much but not sure if he is just being nice to me? We have gone to lunch a few times casually its just lunch and tea---- but he DOES go with me when I invite him. However its always my initiative.......I'm not sure ...
A. 22 November 2009: Sorry I'm not a man but here's my two cents.
You don't have to tell him you like him. What you should do is set up an opportunity for him to ask you out...to do something outside of work. When you go to lunch/tea and you're talking and so on, ment... (read in full...)
How do people have interesting conversations via text messaging?
Q. What do you girls usly talk to your boyfriends about well your texting? And what do you guys like talking about with your girlfriend. Becuse its hard for me to like have a real conversation about any thing well were texting its mostly how was your ...
A. 18 November 2009: My bf and I only use texts to let each other know one of us is running late, to send a reminder about something and so on.
If you want to build a proper relationship, stay away from text conversations. A long time ago I gave up on men who couldn't... (read in full...)
Having a bad tug of war with my heart..over my current guy and the ex bf! Help!
Q. Alright, so my ex and I had been dating for just over a month when he broke up with me because I was distracting him from God (since we are both Christians) and that he just needed time and space to figure things out in his life because he has a ho...
A. 18 November 2009: Your ex broke up with you two times...what makes you think he won't do it a third time if you go back to him?
He knows you're with someone else, that's why he wants you. He said he can't stand the thought of you with another guy. He wants you beca... (read in full...)
Help! I'm in love but I barely know him?
Q. Alright, here is my situation. I am in love with this guy. Every time there is even a slight chance of seeing him I get butterflies and my heart races. I can't get him out of my mind and I think I see him sometimes when I'm out. He is very funny, ...
A. 17 November 2009: Listen to what pinktopaz has to say, she's absolutely right.
You're not in love, you're very infatuated. Happens often and it's different to real love. Real love takes time and there are no butterflies and all that crazy stuff.
Get to know h... (read in full...)
Am I right to be concerned or am I thinking too much?
Q. I met a great man on this dating site. He's nice, caring, loving. We both like the same things and we feel comfortable around each other. When we go out, it's not that I'm proud to show him around but I feel comfortable around him. It's not like I'm ...
A. 17 November 2009: I don't think you're thinking too much...I think you're thinking too far ahead. You're talking about what can happen to him when he's 40. Sure, it's fine to plan and think of the future but a life lived like that, thinking about everything that can ... (read in full...)
Maybe I am paranoid or maybe I should trust my gut...
Q. hi everyone, i am 21 and have known my boyfriend since i was 15. Now we have been dating for 3 yrs. For some reason i have been having these feelings that he is hiding something from me. i would have never thought of this when i was younger, but ...
A. 11 November 2009: I also forgot to add that you perhaps feel trapped. You've know him for so long and deep down you might think that you 'should' stay with him. You don't have to do that. It's ok to break away and be alone for a while. You have to do what will make ... (read in full...)
Maybe I am paranoid or maybe I should trust my gut...
Q. hi everyone, i am 21 and have known my boyfriend since i was 15. Now we have been dating for 3 yrs. For some reason i have been having these feelings that he is hiding something from me. i would have never thought of this when i was younger, but ...
A. 11 November 2009: Pancakes rule is right...it does seem like you're not too sure if you want to stay with him. If you are feeling like this then there is a reason for it. I think you need a bit of quiet time to try and find out what exactly is bothering you. ... (read in full...)
Does my boyfriend want to please me or himself?
Q. Me an my bf are going out for about 5 months now. I'm 18. A lot of times he tried to get into my pants and every time I pull away. I just can't relax until this very day. It's not that I don't want to and that I don't like him. Today he tried again ...
A. 11 November 2009: He's doing it for his own satisfaction. You know how I know? Because you've repeatedly told him no and he repeatedly tries to do it. If he was really doing it for you he would not just go for it after being told no many times, he would let you ... (read in full...)
Her boyfriend is in the way!!!
Q. About 2 months ago I started school at college. In one of my classes, I saw this girl for the first time and I knew that I was going to talk to her. After class I went and had lunch with her and immediately we got along. About a week later, she ...
A. 11 November 2009: No problems. I also agree with the advice by xnickx, he's right about such girls. I hope things work out for you and I hope you find someone who deserves you.... (read in full...)
He is complicated...drinks a lot and ignores me for days! What can I do?
Q. Since the beggining he messed up. Stood me up, would make plans and ended up getting drunk, getting drunk all time,even once when we argued and i left,he spent the night with hes ex (but this happened in the first week we met, not a relationship ...
A. 11 November 2009: You need some sense. Why do you want this man? I don't get it.
You get one life and one shot at it. If you want to be happy as I think you deserve to be you need to leave this man and look for that happiness elsewhere, you will never get it from ... (read in full...)
Her boyfriend is in the way!!!
Q. About 2 months ago I started school at college. In one of my classes, I saw this girl for the first time and I knew that I was going to talk to her. After class I went and had lunch with her and immediately we got along. About a week later, she ...
A. 9 November 2009: This is a tough one. I know you like her but have you ever stopped to think that if she can cheat on her boyfriend with you she would possibly aslo cheat on you with someone else if you were her boyfriend.
That aside, how long have they been tog... (read in full...)
How can I convince a lover to stay without throwing myself at them?
Q. how could i show someone that i love them and want to be with them, and convince them not to leave out of state without actually throwing myself at them?...
A. 9 November 2009: If they can't see that you love them and want to be with them there really isn't much you can do. A person needs to make their own mind up and want to stay with you.
The only thing you can do is be honest and adult about the whole situatio... (read in full...)
Confused...is he interested?
Q. dear cupid, i am really confused about this guy that i think im really starting to like!! it has been a while since i met someone that im slightly interested in since my last break up. and finally im starting to like someone but i am really confused...
A. 9 November 2009: I don't think that any of us here can tell you what he's thinking exactly.
I'd say that as a general rule, if a guy was really interested, he wouldn't wait so long to contact you after getting your number, he wouldn't just text you, and he would... (read in full...)
Ever since I became happy with myself, I seem to repel men!
Q. I am a 27 year old editor and I have the worst luck with dating out of anyone I know. This year, I have been on dates with seven men, every one of whom has not felt compelled to continue seeing me, almost always after three dates. ...
A. 4 November 2009: I totally agree with aksoldersister and caring guy. I really do think that this has nothing to do with you per se but the kinds of guys you're going out with. Because you're good looking and successful you will attract many men. The ones who pursue ... (read in full...)
A man FINALLY fancies me for more than sex and I am not as interested in him! What should I do?
Q. hi seemed to atract men how only wanted sex , and am fed up as want more than that,now i have meet a man how wants to spend time with me treat me right and is lovley person has a fab job , and is very honest, the trouble is i just dont fancy him he ...
A. 4 November 2009: Do you fancy him even a little? If you do, then take a chance, spend some more time with him, see what he's like.
If you seriously don't see things happening between you two then it's better to let him know now and let him move on.
Also, d... (read in full...)
What do you think of a man, who...?
Q. What do you think about a man whom, you leave a phone message in the morning asking if he wants to have dinner and at 8:30pm he calls, leaves a message that does not mention the call, you try to call back and know he is there because he is on ...
A. 4 November 2009: Right, you should not date him. You want more than he does and he's got all the power in this right now.
Stand up for yourself and deman what you want. If he can't give you that than he's not the man for you.
He's evasive for a reason and he's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend seems unworthy compared to my long-time crush!
Q. I had a crush on a guy since the 6th grade. I'm now in the 12th grade and it's turned into a repressed lust/gargantuan crush. My heart skips 68923 beats when I see the kid and every other guy to me (even my current boyfriend) seems unworthy. I don'...
A. 4 November 2009: You've probably built this guy up so much that nothing and no one can be better than him. Because you don't know him well and you've had so much time to think about him your mind has created all these ideas about him.
You say you want closure.... (read in full...)
How often is too often seeing each other while dating?
Q. So how often is too often seeing each other while dating? Or how much is not enough? We work together so we see each other every day. Although this probably shouldn't count as seeing each other, it's hard to guage. Right now we see each other ...
A. 3 November 2009: It really depends on what you both want out of this...are you just dating and are free to see other people or are you both interested in forging a proper relationship?
If you're looking for a relationship I'd want to see someone on the weekends... (read in full...)
Is this sophomore with a girlfriend being too friendly?
Q. Hello, i am a freshman in high school, and i am involved with theatre. not if have have ever been involved with theatre you know how close you get to the whole cast. well there is this senior who is always hugging me, around me, will touch me, hold ...
A. 3 November 2009: He might be attracted to you and probably likes to flirt by doing those things. What I would say to you is to leave him alone...a guy who does this while he is with someone else is not a guy you want in your life. Let him touch someone else. Guys ... (read in full...)
Why are men so reluctant to commit?
Q. Guys, please help me out here. Since, my divorce I have had two relationships with commitment phobic men. Why are men afraid to commit. Is it that there are so many pretty , smart,successful girls to choose from? What makes a guy chose one girl over ...
A. 2 November 2009: Back to the original question...a man won't committ for the same reason you wouldn't committ...because you're not IT for him, you're not the one. See what human_male and rhythmandblues2 said below.... (read in full...)
I'm flirting with someone's boyfriend. Does he like me?
Q. I finally told this boy I liked him, even though he has a girlfriend. He always flirts with me and the other night he was sending me some extremly flirty texts about if he didn't have a girlfriend he would get with me and do stuff. I really like...
A. 2 November 2009: In a situation like this you are the only one who will get hurt. Don't go there. He's enjoying the attention you're giving him and he's not going to be your boyfriend.... (read in full...)
She likes me, she likes me not. Should I pursue her?
Q. Hey so there's this girl that I like and have only known her for around 6 months, she was a friend of a friend but has now become quite close to me. Every time we meet up on a night out with friends etc we really hit it off. The only problem is ...
A. 2 November 2009: If she's genuine in her feelings for you and she wants to pursue something, you will not push her away if you ask her out. If she does back off it will just mean that she isn't that into you, even though she enjoys your company and flirting with ... (read in full...)
Help! Is he leading me on, or does he want to date me?
Q. Hey guys, I have been talking to this guy for a week or so through the internet, we met through a social event so its not an online thing. The other day he asked me for my number because he was asking me about going to the movies together. I gav...
A. 29 October 2009: How much do you know about him? Is it possible he has a girlfriend?
I think if he really wanted to see you it would have happened by now. He's either not that interested or he has someone else and he's realized that he can't actually take you out.... (read in full...)
She adores me but isn't ready for a relationship. What does this mean?
Q. I to a girl whom I have been seeing for a while now that I love her and want to be with her. She paused and told me that she can't say the "l" word back because she has been through so many bad relationships and said she needs some time before she ...
A. 29 October 2009: I'm so glad you declined her 'offer,' it shows you have respect for yourself and don't need her crumbs. Anyway, I'm sure that you'll find someone who really appreciates and values you...that's what you need to look for. Good luck!
q1605, both wom... (read in full...)
Will I ever get closure?
Q. I met a guy two 1/2 years ago. We dated for 3 month on our last date we said bye like normal but he never came back. I need closure. I want to understand what happen. we speak alot through emails but i'm afraid to tell him how I feel. He ...
A. 27 October 2009: He's not interested anymore for whatever reason and you need to stop replying to his emails. Why is he emailing you? Who knows but he knwos that he can as you seem to be replying.
He's not going to come and see you. If he wanted to he would al... (read in full...)
She adores me but isn't ready for a relationship. What does this mean?
Q. I to a girl whom I have been seeing for a while now that I love her and want to be with her. She paused and told me that she can't say the "l" word back because she has been through so many bad relationships and said she needs some time before she ...
A. 27 October 2009: So are you still with her? To me it sounds like you're just not 'it' for her and not 'the one.' I don't think it's so much about past relationships and needing time, if she felt the same way about you none of this would matter.
I think you two ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my boyfriend that I am attracted to another guy?
Q. i have been dating the same guy for almost a year now. i can say i truly love him and i have never met anyone like him. he cares about me and i care about him too. i love him with all my heart, but lately i met this guy i am attracted to, i cant ...
A. 27 October 2009: quiet-echo is right...don't tell him if you don't plan on leaving him, it'll just create drama. Being attracted to someone else while you're with another person is not unusual...we often get a little too comfortable with someone and a new person ... (read in full...)
Is having a spark with someone important in the early stages of a relationship?
Q. So I've gotten to know a really sweet guy. He's funny, cute and sweet. But I don't like him as MUCH as he likes me. There's a little spark somewhere and I want to develop it. I want to like him a lot more. But I don't know how to develop my "like" ...
A. 26 October 2009: CaringGuy puts it well. I used to think that things had to start off with a bang in order to be special but how wrong I was! I've dated guys where it was fireworks from the beginning and guess what? The fireworks finished as quickly as they started. ... (read in full...)
I still love my ex but we have different backgrounds. Can it work?
Q. Well it's simple, I'm still in love with my ex and she says she still has feelings for me. I'm just not sure if I should take her back. When I was with her I tried to be the best boyfriend I could. I always did what she wanted me to, I bought her ...
A. 26 October 2009: By the sounds of it, this girl doesn't deserve you. I know you say you love her but it seems like she took you for granted. Leaving you for another guy tells me that her feelings for you were not genuine.
Although I can't tell you what will hap... (read in full...)
Is my curiosity going to hurt my girlfriend?
Q. Ok, here we go. First off, me and my girlfriend have been going out for about six months. My friend, which is a girl, broke up with her boyfriend just recently. Me and him use to play in a band together. And thats how i meet the other girl. I...
A. 26 October 2009: You wanted to kiss her, curiousity has nothing to do with it. You have feelings for this other girl. Perhaps it wasn't planned and you don't consider it cheating but if I was your girlfriend I'd see this as cheating. You have to first decide wha... (read in full...)
How do I let him know I need something more serious?
Q. Hi there, I've been seeing this guy for nearly 2months now, and its all very casual, soon after we started texting each other he told me he'd just gotten out of a 4year relationship and wasn't really looking to get into anything too serious righ...
A. 26 October 2009: Your fear of losing him is stopping you from getting what you really want. The first mistake I think you made is telling him in the beginning that you didn't expect anything serious. I bet that you were at least hoping for something seriou... (read in full...)
Why won't he respond?
Q. my first question is so me and this guy have been talking for awhile on facebook and texting and at school he always sayings hi to me and he smiles but when i asked him to hang out he stops talking but when i said happy birthday he replied but h...
A. 26 October 2009: It means he's not interested in hanging out with you but he's too nice to ignore a birthday message. Talking on facebook and texting doesn't take much effort and I'm sure he thinks you like him which he feels good about. Once you asked to hang out ... (read in full...)
Is it supposed to be this hard to hang out with her?
Q. I met this girl a while back on a movie set we were both production assistants. Well we chatted during the downtime for about 2 hours. she was really cute and cool. Well, after hitting it off with her i felt bad cuz she was leaving for Tanzania for ...
A. 23 October 2009: She's not interested. If I was interested I would have accepted your invitation immediately. Does she have a boyfriend perhaps? She could have given you her number to be polite as I'm sure you're a nice guy.
You don't need to write her off comp... (read in full...)
Why is he ignoring me?
Q. This is ridiculous but I've been ocassionally sending txts to my ex - wishing him well.Last time we spoke we had a huge arguement and he said he was going M.I.A. for awhile. (he went from adoring/infatuation w/ me to in a flip of a switch,want...
A. 23 October 2009: Does it matter? he's your ex, he's in the past. Even though you say you're not asking to get back together, you still want something.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way but he's ignoring you because he doesn't want you anymore, you don't ma... (read in full...)
She's 100% mediocre and I just want to get rid of her. How do I do this painlessly?
Q. Ok so I met this girl a couple months ago, and we're dating now. This is the first girl I have ever had real feelings for. When I'm with her I turn to mush, I smother her and make myself sick to my stomache with how nice I am to her. She isn't ...
A. 22 October 2009: It's not about being able to do better. What the hell is that about? If you find someone you gel with that's what it's all about. If you're looking for someone who looks better, is better in bed and whatever else...you're being really shallow, and I ... (read in full...)
Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum?
Q. Ok everyone I need your advice. Is it ever ok to give an ultimatum? I have been with my boyfriend for five years and I have had it. We have been in the same holding pattern for the last three to four years not moving forward not moving backward only ...
A. 22 October 2009: You don't need to give ultimatums. You need to tell him how you feel and that you're not happy with the situation. You need to tell him what you want and expect and if he can't give you that then it might be for the best to part. Let him think about ... (read in full...)
Nothing I do is good enough!
Q. Okay, so.. I have been living with my boyfriend for about 8 months. I am currently 7 months pregnant (obviously, with his child.) and I'm having major issues with him. I do everything I can to make him happy, but it seems like it is never enough. ...
A. 22 October 2009: "Tonight, he actually made me walk the 8 blocks to the gas station in the dark by myself to go get him cigarettes because he was mad that I didn't get them for him earlier today!" - THAT right there would have made me show him the door...no ... (read in full...)
I want another chance with him!
Q. I used to date this guy and he was super nice and everything was good but things kinda just fell off after we had sex, I left him. I was hearing a lot from friends and I took their side even though he had done me nothing. I still like him. I want ...
A. 22 October 2009: Do you want him back because you have no one now or because you genuinely think you made a mistake.
If you're genuine about it, the only way is to get back in touch with him and just go slow. See if he wants to meet up over a drink or lunch...... (read in full...)
Why does he get pissy and make comments when he doesn't get his way?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for almost two years now. he is living with family and is unemployed still. he make comments in reference to us in the future. for instance, like us having home together, kids, etc.. but what puzzles me is ...
A. 22 October 2009: What this means is that he's a bit immature. Him saying he'll just go home or he should have stayed home means that he's not willing or able to deal with things head on and looks for an easy way out. It shows he's not ready to be in a serious, adult ... (read in full...)
Is this guy playing me?
Q. A boy I like have a girlfriend. He does not know I know he have a girlfriend. But I know he likes me and he said heis interested in me some times. We were dating four three times. When we are together I see clearly how much he likes me and there ar...
A. 22 October 2009: This is a mess and you better get out of this situation as it will never turn into anything good.
He's playing you but you were also playing a game with him. There is no trust here and I don't see how there can be any in the future either. ... (read in full...)
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