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*eltic_tiger agony aunt

*eltic_tiger

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*eltic_tiger's profile:

I try to give people honest opinions about situations, and give an unbiased balanced view of their options.

Some people may think I am harsh, but often a "softly softly" approach does not work, and a good dose of reality is needed.

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I work with her. Should I act as if I do not know that she blocked me on FB? Or do I confront her?

Q.   My friend at work blocked me on fb... I think it's pathetic, so do I confront her or not? (I'm thinking that I wouldn't really like to give her the satisfaction of knowing it's annoyed me...versus the making her squirm/lie about it...!!) ?? How d...

A.   5 March 2017: Seriously, its just facebook. Facebook is not reality, it is a place where all the fabricated dreams and ideals of people can be shown off, and where you can pretend to be anything you want. Most of the content is posted as a way to show off, get... (read in full...)

The red-blooded male in me says to give her more experience, the gentleman in me says to wait a few years!

Q.   Sex question- a girl I've met online is very inexperianced and wants me to teach her about the physicality of sex. What's the problem?- there's a 12 year age gap and while she's above the age of consent and therefore it would be legal, the ethic...

A.   3 March 2017: If you are 29, then the oldest she can be is 17 - don't go there. Seriously, she may be "very mature for her age" but that is a complete load of rubbish. NO seventeen year old girl is mature. THey are very good at pretending, but deep down, t... (read in full...)

My married lover won't commit to me.

Q.   Been having a relationship with a married man for 11 years, I have asked him on numerous ocassions for me and him to be a proper couple.....but even though he says he wants to in the future he can't right now because of the impact it will have on ...

A.   1 March 2017: What shall you do? Stop being so selfish. You have been his mistress for 11 years, yet you still fail to see that it is not just you and him who are affected by your deceit. There are three other people involved in your relationship, and t... (read in full...)

He's a handsome foreigner, twice-divorced, aged 60. But all is not well in the relationship. Is it time to break up with him?

Q.   Hello, I´m a single working mother of two. One is 13yo and the second 5yo. Six months ago I met a handsome foreigner twice-divorced aged 60. After 2 months, he came to live with us. He´s the first man to ever enter my household because I´ve alw...

A.   26 February 2017: The worrying thing here is that you moved a complete stranger into your home having only been in a relationship for two months - 8 weeks - 60 days. Personally that shows very little concern for the wellbeing of your children, or how your relation... (read in full...)

How do I tell someone that their romantic feelings toward me are not mutual?

Q.   I'm not into relationships at all, just casual stuff mainly. However, a guy I've recently been seeing thinks he's fallen in love with me and wants to be in a relationship. The issue is I can't bring myself to tell him that's not what I want. I'm ...

A.   25 February 2017: This is the problem with casual relationships. At some point one or other develops deeper feelings. This is a risk when entering a casual fling. We hear so many stories on DC about hearts being broken because a "casual" fling has develope... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's parents are strict and I'm not sure what to do anymore

Q.   Hi everyone, I'm kind of new to this so I apologize if this is a bit unorganized. My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost a year and a half and besides the ups and downs we are very much in love with each other and even plan to have a f...

A.   23 January 2017: This is about his culture and religion, not about strict parenting. As the others have said, it all stems from their traditional ideas, which are VERY VERY different to western ideals. The majority (not all) of muslim or arab immigrants do not w... (read in full...)

What do I do? How can she still want to be with someone who she is not sexually attracted to, nor IN love with?

Q.   Apologies if I ramble but I have some much to get off my chest ?? My Fiancée of nearly 14 years and the mother of my 2 beautiful daughters (11 and 6) had told me she loved me but is not IN love with me several years ago. We have also not had...

A.   9 January 2017: I just have one small comment - "my fiancee of 14 years" Do you think that she might have got fed up waiting for you to commit fully to her, and now has given up all hope? Your relationship in real terms has never been made "official" in ... (read in full...)

When he said he had a daughter, I started thinking of all the firsts I wouldn't have with him and the trips we couldn't take!

Q.   I am single after being in constant relationships since I was 16. I was with a man from 16 to 21 and when we split up I got with a guy from 21 till I was 22. The past few months have been hard, but I have learnt how to become independent, I have ...

A.   8 January 2017: Just to add - You are worth so much as an individual. Self-worth is an important thing to learn (its taken me long enough), you do not need to be in a relationship or someones "girl" to be worth something. Being part of a relationship is ... (read in full...)

When he said he had a daughter, I started thinking of all the firsts I wouldn't have with him and the trips we couldn't take!

Q.   I am single after being in constant relationships since I was 16. I was with a man from 16 to 21 and when we split up I got with a guy from 21 till I was 22. The past few months have been hard, but I have learnt how to become independent, I have ...

A.   8 January 2017: You have actually answered your own question. You are not ready to become a step-mother. And that is perfectly ok. Not wanting to date someone, just because they have children is not a terrible thing - you just have to be honest from the ... (read in full...)

Was it wrong to raise a glass at the graveside?

Q.   I am involved in a bit if an argument. A mutual family friend passed away aged 49 from breast cancer. On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave. The took ...

A.   20 December 2016: I'm a little confused by part of your post: You say "On her 50th birthday some of the family (not her family) and friends took some champagne and celebrated her birthday around her grave." Are you saying that it WASN'T the deceased ladies ... (read in full...)

I need some advice for a last minute trip to a London gig

Q.   Hi. I hope someone can give advice on this trip. I am thinking of going to London tomorrow night to see a gig, but it's all pretty much last minute. I only found out a couple of days ago that someone was selling two tickets for the gig. Origina...

A.   8 December 2016: In all honesty, it sounds like a lot of stress and hassle for a single gig. Do you really like this performer so much? Is the person selling the tickets a tout? Or a private individual? Are you 100% sure that the tickets are real, and will be ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's family is refusing to let me stay with them.

Q.   I have been dating my boyfriend for 18 months now. He is Indian and his family is Muslim. We intend to get married in the next year (not engaged yet) and they know we are serious, but because I am a white blonde girl they treat me completely ...

A.   15 November 2016: I think you are probably seeing a little of how they may react in future, and I agree it is about "keeping face" within their community. I know you are all loved up, but have you considered that although they are tolerating you for now, they may... (read in full...)

Sex with my uni professor, help please

Q.   Hello I am 24, he is 42 (I know he is so much older than me) I have always been drawn to and dated older guys (besides my first boyfriend.) Anyway he is my professor, now when I say my professor, he is a lecturer at my university and he is the ...

A.   5 November 2016: Just to add - the age thing is irrelevant in the situation. I wouldn't matter if he was 32 or 22.... he is still your Professor. ... (read in full...)

Sex with my uni professor, help please

Q.   Hello I am 24, he is 42 (I know he is so much older than me) I have always been drawn to and dated older guys (besides my first boyfriend.) Anyway he is my professor, now when I say my professor, he is a lecturer at my university and he is the ...

A.   5 November 2016: As someone who has worked within a University, as a tutor and lecturer, I can honestly say that even if your Uni has no official "issues" with student/professor dating (which I somehow doubt), professionally and morally he is breaking every rule in ... (read in full...)

First time sex wasn't good for my g/f and I want to help next time be better

Q.   My gf and I attempted sex for the first time… and it was a little rockier a process than we had initially anticipated! When i tried to go in, it wouldn’t go in past the tip. In addition my gf was not getting to feel it that much. I felt really ...

A.   28 October 2016: From your post, I get the impression that you think it is her fault that the sex wasn't great? Otherwise why would you think buying HER a how-to book would be a good idea? Unless you are far more experienced than she is, you are BOTH on a learning... (read in full...)

Our wish to adopt a child has provoked some negative reactions, how do we deal with them?

Q.   My husband and I have decided to adopt. I was surprised by the negative reaction of some of our friends! I was prepared for the usual fears and prejudices (it's not your flesh and blood, you can never love him the way you would your own etc.) b...

A.   15 October 2016: I think that adoption is not just about taking on a child that is needing a family, it goes far deeper than that. You are also taking on the childs biological family, and all the emotional baggage that it brings with them. It appears that many peo... (read in full...)

Why get married? How do I tell my family that they're waiting for something that will not happen?

Q.   Why is getting married so important!! I'm 25 I have been with my partner 10 years my relationship is fantastic I trust him we get on like best mates there's no drama it is as close to perfect as I could have ever imagined! We own a home 50/50 not...

A.   11 October 2016: I think regardless of what you believe about the religious elements of marriage, going forward in your life together I would urge you to think about the legal aspects of getting married. It does give you more rights as a legally recognized partner. ... (read in full...)

Do I tell some white lies? Or compromise and invite my Bf to visit me and meet my Dad?

Q.   Hello! a few basic info first: I'm currently a 19 y/o college student and living with my dad and brother. I'm unemployed as for now but I'm also thinking about getting a part-time job somewhere. I have a boyfriend who's 27 y/o currently and he's got ...

A.   7 September 2016: The problem here is not that it is a LDR - there are far more issues here that should be ringing massive warning bells in your head. Does your *boyfriend* know how old you are? Have you been truthful? Red Flag 1: The age difference - this is... (read in full...)

Is it fair? Is he expecting me to pay more than my share?

Q.   Hi everyone my boyfriend and me have just got a house together we have 2 kids we have lived together for 4 months now the problem is he agreed to pay the rent while I pay the gas electric and water food and things for the kids I have 2 jobs only...

A.   6 September 2016: To put it bluntly - this man is using you. No it is not fair, that he only pays £250 a month. £250 for rent, food, bills, cooking, cleaning, free sex...... he has it made, and his own private servant. YOU. This man is a grown up. He has TW... (read in full...)

Was I in the wrong at all here? Should I complain? Should I leave a bad review?

Q.   Hi all! Some advice needed please. I've been going to this beauty salon for almost 3 years and they have a very strict policy whereby if you give less than 24 hours notice to cancel your appointment, you are fully charged. I have no problem...

A.   4 September 2016: You are not in the wrong at all. The salon here is at fault, and their customer service is appalling. While in principle it might be deemed ok to have a no-show policy, there is no need to be rude to a client. It appears it is in their best... (read in full...)

My boyfriend rushed our goodbye and did not even kiss me. Should I feel bad?

Q.   My BF and I work together. We left early today as our company lets us off early every other Friday. He is my manager and our relationship is kept professional at the office. And it is our private business outside the office. He is ver...

A.   2 September 2016: I think you need to take a step back from this situation. Although I understand you would feel a bit pissy he didn't say goodbye properly after work as he was going away, I feel that due to your professional relationship he is wise to keep wor... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has no time to spend with me! What should I do?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating over 3 years, we met at university and moved to our parents separate homes afterwards. This worked great as we both worked weekdays and paid a little rent meaning we saw each other at weekends and had some money ...

A.   5 August 2016: Sadly, I think you are seeing the reality of University relationships University is a bubble. You are living on top of each other, not a care in the world, lots of fun, parties and living a lifestyle which has no basis in reality. Relatio... (read in full...)

How do I stop feeling so alone when every single friend is coupled up and I have no family?

Q.   I have two different friendship groups who I socialise with regularly plus a few friends who I see individually on a regular basis rather than as part of any group. I have known all of them for between 4 and 10 years. They are all aged between ...

A.   2 August 2016: Just out of interest, what sort of age range are you looking at when online dating? There are a lot of women who do not want or do not have children in their late 30's and 40's..... perhaps you are looking in the wrong place. Have you cons... (read in full...)

Choosing Boyfriend or potential job?

Q.   Hi there, I hope you are all well. I am kindly seeking advice for what is for me a big issue and which I keep thinking over. Basically me and my boyfriend have been together for almost four years this December. We met in the beginning of our ...

A.   17 July 2016: I think you should go for the job. University romances very rarely continue beyond graduation. They are great whilst inside the bubble of University and study, but once out into the real world, suddenly the rose coloured glasses come off and the ... (read in full...)

I'm not in the mood all the time like he is so our sex life has gone downhill!

Q.   I have been with my partner for 6 months. Previously I was in a relationship for 5 years and he was for 6 years. Automatically our sex life was incredible and intense. We had it so often, multiple times a day but now it's gone down hill due to me. ...

A.   9 June 2016: To be perfectly honest, he sounds like an incredibly selfish idiot. How old is he? The sex you two have is not about being in a relationship, it is about getting his rocks off. It has nothing to do with you at all. I think he sees you as a way to... (read in full...)

Row with my mom caused to leave for the night. What if she doesn't return?

Q.   me and my mum had a big row today and im worried it has ruined the love i used to have with her. i asked my mum for £50 to buy some shoes and she said yes then said as long as their sensible and i just murmerd yes mum. then i went out and bough...

A.   17 May 2016: To be perfectly frank OP, you sound like you have been a bit of a brat to your mother. You have totally taken advantage of her, and certainly do not understand the value of money. £50 is a lot of money - it might not seem like it to you, but i... (read in full...)

Should I be sending risque pics to my boyfriend? Will it get on the internet?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months and we have a very close relationship. He is an incredibly sweet person and I honestly trust him with anything. The other day we were talking and it just so happened that he sent me a topless ...

A.   19 February 2016: As you are in the UK and under the age of 18 - LEGALLY you are considered to be a child, and are covered by the laws regarding child pornography. Currently "sexting" or sending any photos of a child in a sexualised context - naked pictures... (read in full...)

What does a guy have to do to lose his virginity?

Q.   What does a guy have to do to lose his freaking virginity? I've posted here a lot and I have taken everything I've been told to try and it just doesn't seem to work for me. I'm going to be 23 in April! I know I've made mistakes like going to a ...

A.   7 January 2016: I think this is the crux of your problem.. "I'm almost 23 and having a frequent/epic sex life is very important to me" You have fallen into the trap where you believe everything you read/see/hear about sex, the frequency of sex, and the "ep... (read in full...)

Where would you suggest I look to find a woman willing to cuckold me and become pregnant by another man after she and I are married?

Q.   Have looked and having trouble finding, yet I KNOW they exist. I am a single male, seeking a female for a relationship and eventual marriage. I am mostly submissive and definitely a cuckold. Seeing my gf having sex with men is amazingly erotic...

A.   3 January 2016: Regardless of your sexual preferences.... You are being incredibly selfish here. You are not considering the health, wellbeing or potential harm that could be done to any child created in these circumstances. Can you imagine how confused, mi... (read in full...)

Would this be a good opener to ask a nice girl going past me?

Q.   Just a simple question. If I see a nice girl going past and I just say "excuse me, are you busy" or "are you in a hurry?". Wouldn't that be the best opener to judge if she's interested? Her response would show straight away if she has any interest...

A.   22 December 2015: "I see a nice girl going past and I just say "excuse me, are you busy" or "are you in a hurry?" Quite honestly, if I was on my own (which I am assuming you would only say to single girls on their own) I would probably be quite scared and think th... (read in full...)

We have started living together and I am scared she feels trapped!

Q.   Every time I try and initiate sex with my girlfriend at the moment she turns me down, and on the rare occasions we do have sex I feel like a prick and that I've pressured her into it. She says it's ok and I shouldn't feel bad about it- that it's jus...

A.   21 December 2015: I don't think this has anything to do with your sexual preferences as such, but it also might not be helping. Living together changes the nature of a sexual relationship between two people. When you are first in love, and getting to know ... (read in full...)

Refractory period last for too long, anybody has the same experience?

Q.   Thi is not a new thing. My husband has always had a long refractory period. The minimum is about 24h. We met in mid-20's and now are in our forties. We're both in good shape, eat well, exercise, still love each other and are very much attracted to ...

A.   15 December 2015: I think you are looking at this problem all wrong. YOUR problem is the lack of sex - really this is just a symptom of the REAL problem. Stress. This is the thing you need to address before anything else. His mind is preoccupied, and you nee... (read in full...)

What are the dangers or issues associated with not wearing underwear? Assuming there may be any dangers or issues.

Q.   Hello everyone, I have an odd question. I recently have decided I want to stop wearing boxers. I don't enjoy wearing clothing to begin with, and I don't even see a reason as to wear underwear if I'm covered. I'm in high school, and I want to kn...

A.   15 December 2015: SVC one of the boys at when I was at school did that too, from what he said years later, it is something you only ever do ONCE, then you learn your lesson! I am glad to be a girl! :)... (read in full...)

Does my date need to come out?

Q.   A guy I'm dating got intimate ! I gave him a couple hickies at the drive thru and we kind of had sex. Well when he turned on the light he saw he had two hickies on his face, and he was upset. I said we can go to the store and I'll help you pick your ...

A.   15 December 2015: I agree with youwish... this is NOT a sign he is gay. Many men now wear makeup, in some form or other. It is part of the grooming ritual, and the current trend for being cool and popular. Fake tan, "guyliner", concealer, eyebrow plucking... (read in full...)

What are the dangers or issues associated with not wearing underwear? Assuming there may be any dangers or issues.

Q.   Hello everyone, I have an odd question. I recently have decided I want to stop wearing boxers. I don't enjoy wearing clothing to begin with, and I don't even see a reason as to wear underwear if I'm covered. I'm in high school, and I want to kn...

A.   14 December 2015: Underwear is actually quite important. It helps keep your private areas clean and hygienic - like it or not it is an area that produces sweat and other bodily secretions. The fabric of underwear helps absorb this, keeping you a little fresher ... (read in full...)

He broke a cup I gave him, but has chosen to not replace it. Should I let this upset me so much?

Q.   I bought my hubby a cup with the words, love you more then shoes on it. He accidently broke it and said he would get another but he still hasnt. it hurts me that he hasnt replaced it and it shows he doesnt care. I've reminded him to get it and s...

A.   3 December 2015: I think you are way overreacting here - and I agree with SVC, this sounds like it could be exposing deeper issues within your relationship. The straw that broke the camels back... if you like. The whole point of giving someone an object like th... (read in full...)

Why does my girlfriend all of the sudden have that horrible odor down there??

Q.   I have kind of an embrassing question... My girlfrirnd is on birth control so we have alot of unprotected sex. Probably atleast 3 to 5 times a day. I always cum inside of her since she can't get pregnant while she is on the birth control. The birth ...

A.   30 November 2015: I have to agree with Honeypie on this - there could be a huge number of reasons, all perfectly natural and normal. Your question, does however bring up some questions about your maturity to sex. The fact that you appear to think this is only you... (read in full...)

My man is 22 yrs old and very fit. So why can he only last one round? what needs to be done?

Q.   2 issues: One that I stopped moaning during sex and the second that my healthy man only lasts one round at a time. When we first met and had sex, this was exciting and new and sensuous for me. I would moan and thrash around and be involved m...

A.   24 November 2015: Its all about sex drive. Some people have a very high sex drive and NEED sex every day, multiple times a day to be satisfied. Others only need it once every few days or once a week. Both are completely normal, and over your life your sex ... (read in full...)

New baby, but he will not lift a finger to help in any way. What can I do?.

Q.   Hi everyone I have been with my boyfriend 3 years we had a bavy girl 10 months ago I have now realised how lazy my boyfriend is he does nothing to help me with our daughter even after a emergency c section I have done everything I clean the ho...

A.   23 November 2015: Sadly he is never going to change. You need to put you and your daughter first. Don't clean up after him. You are not his mother and he is not a child. I agree with Bimbim - you need to tell him straight exactly how you feel, and how his be... (read in full...)

I have recently come out as bisexual. Any advice on dealing with homophobic family members with ingrained prejudices, some micro aggression and some homophobic?

Q.   I have recently come out to myself and close friends as Bisexual but I haven't to my family. They are not outwardly homophobic but are generally full of micro-agressions and ingrained prejudices. My grandparents are super homophobic and w...

A.   23 November 2015: Firstly, it is great that you are finding out who you really are and sharing this with your friends, and hopefully your family. What you have to remember is that the world of sexual preference has changed a lot in the last 100 years. A lot of v... (read in full...)

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