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| | Irish49's profile:Hello, I'm a Canadian, born in the east (Labrador)and raised out in the West. Proud Mom of 3 great kids. All grown up except for the 15 year old. He's a great kid, honor roll in school and my last one. He's been truely is a pleasure to raise. He's getting his drivers license this fall and we're 'practise' driving now, with me in the co-pilot's seat. Not sure if my nerves can take it. Sometimes, a wee nip of vodka helps before we head out...lol (I'm kidding of course, but have considered it) :D But I will say..he's a lot calmer than I am.
Isn't this site amazing? I came here, back in summer 2005. Like many others on this site, I had some 'life'issues and got some pretty amazing advice. Well, the problem I had back then has been resolved. So as a result, I decided to contribute a bit of what I know. So far, it's been a great ride..I enjoy your messages and feel honored to have exchanged views and personal thoughts with a lot of you. Thank you so much and bless you all
Irish xx |
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Is this leading to infidelity?
Q. My girlfriend had a friends with benifits relationship with a man her senior year of college. They had been friends since high school. After college they went their seperate way, and only "met up" occasionally. Well her so called friend, had a ...
A. 16 May 2008: I think this man has deeply disrespected your gf and you...and you have aa right to tell her to stop the friendship. I am wondering why she didn't tell him to 'take a hike' when he made the indecent proposal of asking her to have an affair with. ... (read in full...)
This is PASSION unbound, but I have to contain myself!
Q. I'm a dancer and I'm single I help others to learn this style of dance (Ceroc) I have become very accomplished at it and hardly ever sit down because the fact that men are in short demand at any dance venue, good male leads are even rarer ! so I am ...
A. 16 May 2008: It's ok if this challenges you, but good for you-to keep it all under control. You are smart to keep your brain engaged here. As I said before,
"She's a Mother and in a committed relationship and has a long standing, strong family life with ano... (read in full...)
This is PASSION unbound, but I have to contain myself!
Q. I'm a dancer and I'm single I help others to learn this style of dance (Ceroc) I have become very accomplished at it and hardly ever sit down because the fact that men are in short demand at any dance venue, good male leads are even rarer ! so I am ...
A. 16 May 2008: Yup, you are right. That is where it all stays, on the dance floor! To sum up, don't be foolish and mix up your feelings of fantasy, passion and sexual attraction with potential love for this lady. If these feelings are getting the best of you, ... (read in full...)
Tell him I like him or keep it at smiles?
Q. I really like this guy but i'm really spotty and struggle to get guys. This guy is unpopular too and smiles at me when I say hi. Should I tell him or should I just keep it at smiles? I really like him, really really really like him....
A. 16 May 2008: Can you not just go up and talk to him, hun? Say hi, find out things about each other. Be friendly, go slow, and really discern if he's a good guy but take the time to get to know 'who he is' before enaging all these heartfelt feelings. Use your ... (read in full...)
He has a girlfriend. I get jealous.
Q. hi, they is this guy that i like so much, well i think i do have a crush on we have talked and also we have gone further even having sex. he told me that he had a girlfriend i told him i dont mind. so we hit it off. these days i like get all jeal...
A. 16 May 2008: Think, girl. What is wrong with your self-perspective and self respect towards yourself? You are having sex with a guy who is dating someone else. And you want him? And you are jealous of his gf? Oh my.
Hun, he's a loser... and you aren't a... (read in full...)
His cum tastes awful, what can I do?
Q. Im sure many girls have this problem, but its really starting to bother me. I dont mind giving my boyfriend oral sex, but its the end that i literally CANNOT DO! the smell, the taste, just makes me wanna gag, ive asked friends and most of them say ...
A. 16 May 2008: A man's sperm varies from guy to guy-sometimes it tastes downright nasty and sometimes it's fine. As the other Aunts suggested, you could try to get him to change his diet or perhaps you can suggest some fun flavored, edible lubricants to mask the ... (read in full...)
How do I make him see the reason he is single is his bad hygiene??
Q. Hi aunts and uncles, I have a bit of an odd problem. I've been friends with this guy for about 8 years, and I have tried to bring this up to him numerous times in different ways but he won't listen. The problem is, he has given up on women beca...
A. 16 May 2008: There really is nothing you can do, hun. You could buy him a kit full of nice smelling soaps, underarm deodorant, aftershave and tell him 'use it"! But will he? Not likely if he is lazy. And then understand this one very important thing...his odors ... (read in full...)
The worse it gets, the more I'm in love with him
Q. Dear Cupid In March i wrote to you and i got very helpful responses from other members. Last month i was ready to move out and he cried begging me not to move after i found sms's in his phone that he's been sending his so called ex-girlf...
A. 16 May 2008: Dear, you are an older woman, who is making the classic, stupid mistakes so many women do. They can let go of a man who lies to them and destroys them, emotionally. So why are you on this self-destructive path? Because you are fearful, you are ... (read in full...)
We are ready for sex. Recommendations?
Q. Me and my boyfriend are ready for sex.We've talked about different methods of contraception and are thinking about a condom since they're easy to get. I'm just wondering though if intercourse feels better without one-especially semen pouring ...
A. 16 May 2008: Kay Kay has gret advice for you. I will even go further and say---abstain from sex completely. But we know you likely won't because sex is simply a fun thing to do for you and this bf, isn't it? I need to impress upon you, how maturity, a ... (read in full...)
I can't cope with his porn habit-Could our marriage survive this?
Q. Ok, deep breath, here we go. I'm in a lot of pain at the moment and don't know where to turn so I hope someone out there can help me. I've been married for nine months. Three years ago when we were due to move in together I found out that he'...
A. 8 May 2008: Oh gosh...I am so sorry for your pain and heartache, hun. I have answered this question on this site before, so I will tell you what I have told others.Before I do that, I will state, hands down...I concur fully with the other Aunts below---your man ... (read in full...)
I want to write my husband a letter about how hurt I am due to his cheating and what this marriage means to me!
Q. i have just found out that my husband was cheating on me for the last 3 months he has decided to leave the other woman and work things out between us for the sake of our marriage and for our 2 kids. i want to send him a letter telling him how hurt...
A. 7 May 2008: I am soory this happened to you, sweety. What a hard time for you. Have you and he ever really openly and honestly, discussed this issue. May be you have but you need further help in dealing with it and he should be willing to be loving and ... (read in full...)
Can a guy remain friends after oral sex?!
Q. Can a guy remain friends with a girl who gives him oral sex? How does he control his emotions around her, or is this different than making real love? OK, you guys out there, let's have it!!!...
A. 7 May 2008: If one is friends with a guy and one is giving him oral sex...I will say females are more likely to 'engage' their heart and emotions with any act of sex. A good amount of males have this ability to not 'engage' their emotions too readily, when it ... (read in full...)
Is he leading me on? What should I do?
Q. I have been dating a guy for 7 months and last month we had a massive argument, which stemmed from his ex girlfriend still texting him. Although i know he has no intention of ever being with her, I just overreacted and couldn't control my emotions ...
A. 7 May 2008: After 4 weeks, it appears he charmed his way back into your bed and then, emotionally distanced himself again. Is that what you are describing? The way you talk of this in your posting, to me, it appears he manipulated you for some long overdue sex. ... (read in full...)
What's the definition of adultery?
Q. Technical question - Are you committing adultery if you aren't the married person in the affair? If you are the girlfriend of a married man, are you still considered to be an adulteress? And would you only be his mistress if he supported you in ...
A. 6 May 2008: Check this out:
http://www.answers.com/topic/adultery... (read in full...)
What's the definition of adultery?
Q. Technical question - Are you committing adultery if you aren't the married person in the affair? If you are the girlfriend of a married man, are you still considered to be an adulteress? And would you only be his mistress if he supported you in ...
A. 6 May 2008: Yes, yes, no, yes....in that order. Adultry is when one of or both of the couple is married to another...plain and simple. So if you are boinking a married guy...you are an adultress and he is an adulterer. ... (read in full...)
Is it over or can we save this destructive relationship??
Q. Hi I'm in a situation and I don't know what to do. I'm going out with my boyfriend nearly 3 years and we moved in together last September, things have got pretty bad since we moved in together. I'm just not happy anymore and I don't think he is ...
A. 6 May 2008: Is your relationship over or can you fix it? Your bf is lashing out, by the sounds of it. He has a temper...he always complains, as you say. He might need to face the underlying vulnerability of himself, that is the basis for his anger and ... (read in full...)
I don't know if I'll ever get over her and will I love someone else as much ?
Q. Ok, when I met this girl she had just broken up with her long term boyfriend but I was't aware of this, we then went on to have the most amazing 3 months together, then she began going back and forth breaking up with me to be with the ex and then ...
A. 5 May 2008: Life's too short for this BS, dear. You are thinking about going back to a woman who has dumped you countless times. The best thing you can do is practice some pride, self-love and respect yourself enough to to say no. Whenever she comes back in ... (read in full...)
He says since all he could offer me was grief he could only really offer me nothing-what does he mean?
Q. I was with my boyfriend for twelve years and he ended a year ago. He was adament that we remain friends and I guess I went along with it as I thought something was better than nothing. We have not had a physical relationship in that time. He sent me ...
A. 5 May 2008: Twelve years is a long time...are you still 'pining' for him or are you over him? Do you think he has another serious love interest or a relationship in his life, that you are unaware of? This could be an 'excuse' or a way to make a final break ... (read in full...)
We had cybersex, but now I don't understand what he is really trying to tell me
Q. This guy and I started chatting a few months ago.... and had cybersex. We met a month later and got on really well. That was 2 months ago and I haven't seen him for a month. When I last saw him we got intimate, and then I went on holiday for two ...
A. 4 May 2008: Daniel gave you good advice but I have a bit of a different perspective. This guy told you, "Friendship but no committment?" That's his slick way of simply saying he's 'not into you, dear'. Sorry to sound rather blunt, but that they way I see it. ... (read in full...)
Is eating cheating? As in having a sexual encounter with a another female.
Q. Okay one quick question. If you are a married woman, and you have sexual relations with another woman is it cheating?...
A. 4 May 2008: I have to say...in my opinion, I disagree with the whole 'open marriage' perspective. I think that is destructive and a insult to the true meaning of what a 'marriage 'really is. Poster, why would someone be be married if they are going to 'open' ... (read in full...)
Can precum make someone pregnant?
Q. me and my boyfriend had sex twice, one with a condom one without... and it was my first time, he didnt cum inside of me, i guess im asking if PRECUM is enough sperm to get someone pregnant? and we had sex January 1st and my period was over Decembe...
A. 4 May 2008: To be blunt..I am sorry to state, you will have to wait this out, the full 30 days as per instructed by the doctor. Any time a condom breaks inside a women's vagina and there is a possibility of pre-cum leakage (you don't know for sure), your gf and ... (read in full...)
I was cheating, but can't I still get her to be friends with me?
Q. This might be long so let me apologize for that in the beginning. Well, I broke up with my girlfriend seven months ago. At first we were still trying to be friends. But then she hacked my mail account and read all my mails to these other girls. I...
A. 3 May 2008: Ok...you were you cheating on her 'before' the breakup and she found out? If yes, then she's right, you had disconnected emotionally from her back when you both were involved so therefore you did 'not' care for her. And she's been rudely nade aware ... (read in full...)
Is online sexual innuendo considered cheating?
Q. Is online sexual innuendo considered cheating? I ask this because earlier i saw my boyfriend and a girl using sexual innuendo and it made me feel very uncomfortable, he said it was just for laughs and it means nothing to him, but im still not ver...
A. 3 May 2008: If he's in a serious relationship with you, I think flirting and using sexual innuendo with another female, is wrong. If he knows it bothers you, then I have to assume that you let him know it bothered you, by setting a boundary and he has stopped. ... (read in full...)
How can one use somebody for sex and NOT feel guilty??
Q. How do guys (or girls) who use someone for sex, sleep at night? I mean honestly I just dont understand how they can use someone for sex and not feel guilty at all. What makes them think its OK to use someone like that? What goes on in there mind? ...
A. 2 May 2008: There are just people in this world, that like to intentionally hurt others for self-gain and their own gratification....plain and simple. These people choose 'their needs' over others. As LazyGuy pointed out, criminals have this mindset. They ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 2 May 2008: While I also think that his poor choice of a smarmy dating site bespeaks a lot about where his attitudes and mindset was at the time, I urge you to check each and ever date as was suggested below. He now knows he's on a 'grace' period until you are ... (read in full...)
Is my grirlfriend planning to cheat on me in this vacation since she does not want me to accompany her?
Q. I need desperate help. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half. Things have been a little down lately due to my side of the family issues accepting her. She plans on going on a business trip abroad, conveniently over memo...
A. 1 May 2008: We don't know what she's up to. But you do have the right as the other half of this relationship---to be honest and voice your deep concerns. Tell her that her unusual behaviors and the information you have about this trip, are leading you to ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend joined a sex dating site. I don't know what to do.
Q. Hey all, where do i start, well im new to this but just so confused ,feel like i could talk to someone better, if they dont know me, than friends who give advice, not saying that we wont become friends on this site but you'll understand when i say ...
A. 1 May 2008: This is very serious. You need to compile the evidence and lay it all out for him to see. Then you ask for an honest explanation. He is the other half of this relationship and I think, he went over the boundries of what entails a committed ... (read in full...)
I come to this site and read everyone's problems... and I start to think pessimistically about my own situations!
Q. Seriously, I love my gf and in my own little mental world I believe that she is faithful to me, and would love me unconditionally. I believe that we are soul mates and that her and I will forever live a happy life together. I believe that our ...
A. 28 April 2008: I have an opposite view. I read other peoples troubles on this site and find myself being rather thankful everyday, for the wonderful blessings I have in my life. If you have a true love in your life, cherish her and realize that millions of ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to put a golf ball in your girlfriend's vagina? Just throwing that out there....
Q. is it ok to put a golf ball in you girlfriends vagina and the have sex with it still in there and when your done swollow it?...
A. 28 April 2008: **laughing out loud**--you Aunts are a hoot!... (read in full...)
How do I dump the trouble women while keeping one or two lookers on the side for sex and still stay with me girlfriend?
Q. My love-life has been pretty hectic lately and I need some advice. I've been in a relationship with this truly wonderful, sweet girl for the past seven years. We get along great, do all sorts of fun things together and really care about each other. ...
A. 28 April 2008: Yikes...the hair on the nape of my neck just stood up...reading this! There is a scummy creepy, under-the-rock, loathsome quality when someone cheats, while holding onto the convenience of the relationship while banging numerous females behind his ... (read in full...)
Should I have affair with the hot 21 year-old or stay faithfull to my wife who has recently gone off sex?
Q. I will make this short and sweet.My wife and i have not had sexx in over three months and all we do is work come home eat and go to bed with some ammenities in between.We work at the same place but we don't see ach other till the end of the day. ...
A. 27 April 2008: You are proposing to set a 'bomb off' in your marriage and you are asking us if you should have an affair?? What we say may not make a difference, but if you are asking for our permission to press the detonator, the answer is NO. The truth is you ... (read in full...)
Does age matter for sex?
Q. Last night I experienced the pleasure of deflowering a young lady aged 18.I felt 20 years younger!! We're mutually keen on having regular sexual intercourse from now on-particularly as neither of us has any ties. Does the age gap matter since our...
A. 27 April 2008: Any sexually physical relationship is wrong and selfish when one partner (you) uses the other person (her), to feel good about himself, again. I think you need to realize that your self-confidence, your own inner sense of value is not expecting a ... (read in full...)
She's addicted to gay porn and it's getting out of control!
Q. I have a problem with my girlfriend of five months. She's addicted to gay porn and it's getting out of control. She has always been very honest about her interest in porn. At first, this didn't bother me in the slightest as I watch a lot of porn ...
A. 27 April 2008: This is my opinion, on your dilemma. Male or female...people do get addictions and compulsions and that can wreak havoc on relationships, because in my books---a mature, adult relationship is two people who look after each other. They both need to ... (read in full...)
SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew
Q. Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...
A. 26 April 2008: I meant ..."moisturizing cream slathered on my face". So if you think my spelling is atrocious, can you imagine what "verbalizing and speaking these same words", would come out like?! lol..... ... (read in full...)
SITE VIDEO: April 2008 video from Andrew
Q. Been a while since we had a video update. Anyone interested in being able to post their replies to the site as YouTube videos??...
A. 26 April 2008: I usually sit at the computer, early in the morning, in my old, pink housecoat, my hair askew and mositurizing cream salthered on my face when answering these, questions, Andrew. Putting my mug on video would absolutely be a terrifying experience ... (read in full...)
He's flirting with me, but is he really interested in me?
Q. This guy I really like flirts with me, nothing explicit, just like smiling, staring and winking at me. However, I know he has a girlfriend. Not knowing his current situation with his girlfriend, they maybe on the verge of breaking up for ...
A. 26 April 2008: If he's flirting with you, then he's either doing it because he does like you or it's just an ego boost for him. Some people can be attached but like the constant validation of having their ego stroked.
I would suggest you just carry on with lif... (read in full...)
I am 18 and he is 27 and we're in love. Could problems arise with this age difference between us?
Q. Hello all, I recently got involved with a man a fair bit older than I. We both new that it was probably not a good idea, but we just fell in love. I am 18 and he is 27. He is very kind and polite, he does not rush me in anything. Are there proble...
A. 26 April 2008: You are both legal adults. I see nothing wrong with this age gap. If he respects you, treats you with kindness and you both share similar life values, I see no problem, with dating him. Good luck, be positive and carry on.... (read in full...)
What's her game plan and what is she up to?
Q. Opinion please. I go out with a girl for two years, I find out she has being seeing someone else by chance… I don’t know the full details but I say, fair enough and walk away heartbroken, but maintain my dignity. Weeks later she comes to me with ...
A. 26 April 2008:
Well,we aren't great mind readers here, but judging from her actions as you describe them...it appears she may have some regrets about hurting you. The reason you are confused about this woman is because you are still emotionally attached to her.... (read in full...)
Is my best friend jealous? Is she even my friend?
Q. -When I tell her who I like, she either puts them down or starts flirting/talking with them and when I ask later on what she was doing she says whatever she wants. I'm not the only person she does this to. -I'll say "I'm sexy" and things of that nat...
A. 26 April 2008: Mandy is right, your best friend has a problem. She is competitive and jealous and can't be trusted. Don't allow her bad, uncaring behaviors, to erode your sense of self-confidence and don't allow angry feelings to eat away at your own goodness. So ... (read in full...)
I became closed after my first relationship (with a manipulator) and it's affecting my current relation. How do I learn to GIVE again?
Q. I need help learning to love and give again... When I was younger (18) I was involved in a relationship with someone much older. It took 3 years to figure out that he was someone with big issues and my continous pouring of love into the relatio...
A. 26 April 2008: Your ex bf abused you, his actions were evil, you got scarred deeply from that experience so now I have to ask...why are you still allowing him to control your present life and happiness? You now know he was a very shallow, broken person who ... (read in full...)
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