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| | Irish49's profile:Hello, I'm a Canadian...born in the east (Labrador)and raised out in the West. I do feel very fortunate for all my blessings in life and try my best to always stay positive, happy and strong.
Isn't this site amazing? I came here, back in summer 2005. Like many others on this site, I had some 'life'issues and got some pretty amazing advice. Well, the problem I had back then has been resolved. So as a result, I decided to contribute a bit of what I know. So far, it's been a great ride..I enjoy your messages and feel honored to have exchanged views and personal thoughts with a lot of you. Thank you so much and bless you all
Irish xxxx
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My boyfriend puts alcohol before me and his children!
Q. My boyfriend of 7 months is a raging alcoholic and I dont know what to do. I did not know that it was this bad until recently. He is always putting his friends and his drinking before me. The other night he called me and said that he was on his wa...
A. 18 November 2009: An alcoholic, like your fiancee can totally disrupt family life and cause harmful effects that can scar for a lifetime. His own children are going to be terribly wounded by his alcoholism if something isn't done quickly. Call the children's mother, ... (read in full...)
I am struggling with the end of our relationship. I need closure.
Q. I am struggling to cope with the end of a 9 year relationship, and need some advice on how to get through it all as my now ex-bf has cut all contact, leaving me with many unanswered questions and no closure at all. We were together 9 years, lived ...
A. 18 November 2009: I am so sorry for your hurt..your heartbreak just jumps off the page here. Nine years is a long term committment, but sadly, everyday, people break up and, that is a harsh fact of life. Like you, many of wounded, pained partners want the closure. ... (read in full...)
Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend?
Q. Am I over reacting if my boyfriend has a wedding on the day of my birthday and I do not want to attend? I am not close with the couple that is getting married and my birthday is the only day out of the year that it is all about me. He gives me a ...
A. 16 November 2009: Your bf has been invited to a friend's wedding which landed on your birthday. The past 5 years, you have become accustomed to doing some special on your birthday. My suggestion:
Go to the wedding, dear..this couple is celebrating a new life tog... (read in full...)
Why did my wife stop having sex with other men and is unwilling to discuss it?
Q. My wife and I have acted on my fantasy of watch her have sex with other men - four times and three times with one of the guys. I was so turned on! Before this fantasy became a reality we talked about it and she was okay with it because it was for ...
A. 14 November 2009: I have to wonder if this wife of yours, could've simply thought, that this 'fetish' of yours was a tad selfish, just simply, a means to fulfilling your own sexual fantasy. It could be she doesn't like doing this anymore and that is her right to ... (read in full...)
My husband has no morals
Q. I recently found out that my husband of 3 years has basically been cheating on me with several different ladies since we met (6 years ago) he has not had affairs as such but flings and emotional affairs, I found out a year ago he did this in his ...
A. 12 November 2009: I also think your husband is a serial cheater and may have a compulsion...it's likely counseling would help him.
Here's a good article to read:
http://couplestransformations.com/extra-marital-affairs-the-serial-cheater/... (read in full...)
My husband has no morals
Q. I recently found out that my husband of 3 years has basically been cheating on me with several different ladies since we met (6 years ago) he has not had affairs as such but flings and emotional affairs, I found out a year ago he did this in his ...
A. 12 November 2009: No he isn't a trustworthy, moral man. His past history with you and with his other relationships is telling you all that ..loud and clear. And there is absolutely nothing you can do to make this man a less cold, heartless person. If he won't fix ... (read in full...)
Problem with my wife getting over a twitter infatuation.
Q. Problem with my wife getting over a twitter infatuation. My wife recently had an intense 'relationship' on twitter with a man that she just clicked with. We are going through some very difficult financial problems which has put a strain on our rela...
A. 12 November 2009: The trust has been shattered here. I don't know if you and her can get back to where you were. It depends on whether you both can fully commit to working hard to retrieving that back again. It takes a lot of work and soul searching. It's also ... (read in full...)
His ex is controlling him even though he's with me now.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend about 6 months now. He has 2 kids and 2 ex wives. Yonger one's mom is very strict with his visitation schedule and I have no problem. But the older one's mom is... she always comes up with plans to be without her kid and ...
A. 12 November 2009: Good advice from 'caringguy'..he and I are on the same page here. Your posting is a good message for other females to take note of. If you get involved with a man, who has children from prior relationship/s...be prepared to know fully, what the ... (read in full...)
He's my fiancee but I am no longer attracted to him!
Q. My fiance and I have been together for a little over a year. We have been throught a lot in our short relationship. He has a child from a previous relationship and that caused a great deal of stress in the beginning of our relationship, he was ...
A. 12 November 2009: Every couple comes into a relationship with a set of values. Sometimes those values don't match and that is where relationships get into a heap of trouble. He is doing something that you find offensive and damaging to the relationship. And for him ... (read in full...)
He didn't call after we had sex on the 3rd date...should I just forget about him ?
Q. I met this guy through a friend. We went out three times, on the third date we went out dancing and had sex. The following day he didn't call. I asked him if I had done something wrong? he said that it wasn't me, that it was him and that he ...
A. 12 November 2009: No, just stop all contact and save yourself further pain. Sorry to say this, but this guy sounds like he is 'just not that into you", hun. When two people connect, they will do anything to be together and they communicate, they work hard at ... (read in full...)
He gets a real bad pain in his stomach when we have sex!
Q. Ok so il just cut straight to the chase when me and my boyfriend have sex he gets a real bad pain in his stomach. he has been to the doctors about this and they gave him tablets but they didnt really work. I just want to know has anyone expierienced ...
A. 5 November 2009: What was the diagnosis from his doctor..and what type of tablets is he taking. Look we are not medical doctors on this site so it could be any one of many things. Prostrate trouble, infection, a whole host of things could cause this type of pain. ... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my 20 year old marriage is over. Am I right?
Q. Hi, I have been married 20 years. My husband was laid off from his job, but got hired same type of work at a company in another state. We own a big home here and have a big labrador pet. I can retire in a year so I could not go. He left, calls me ...
A. 3 November 2009: It appears to me that the both of you have just grown indifferent and 'given up'. When you say you are retiring in a year, I am taking that to mean you have a job/career in which you have one year left to retire with retirement benefits. If that is ... (read in full...)
I'm overwhelmed with the thought of something happening between my girlfriend and her ex!
Q. My girlfriends Ex is coming down he is threatening our relationship and me(we use to be friends) im terribly in love with my girlfriend.I get the feeling something might happen this makes me feel so empty and unhappy and agitated and a voice in my ...
A. 3 November 2009: "Paranoia is an ever-present feeling of suspicion that others cannot be trusted. Such feelings are not based on fact or reality; insecurity and low self-esteem often exaggerate these emotions. Typically, paranoia is not seen in children, but in most ... (read in full...)
I'm overwhelmed with the thought of something happening between my girlfriend and her ex!
Q. My girlfriends Ex is coming down he is threatening our relationship and me(we use to be friends) im terribly in love with my girlfriend.I get the feeling something might happen this makes me feel so empty and unhappy and agitated and a voice in my ...
A. 3 November 2009: I think we need some more information here. Did this ex bf actually state something to give you the impression he is a threat? Or are you just 'imagining' he is a threat. Either way you are incredibly intimidated and afraid of what is going to ... (read in full...)
Public place and PDA?
Q. My girlfriend and I have been going out for five months now and we are going to an nhl hockey game tomorrow. I'm excited but i don't think that she is and i know that she wants to make out at least a little. We have season tickets so the people i ...
A. 27 October 2009: Are you really 36-40? I think you are a youngster who's clicked on the wrong age group box??
... (read in full...)
Is there a better way to get love and loyalty from people?
Q. Im the kind of person who doesnt give up on relationships easily, be it romantic or just friendships. Trouble is it means I often get treated a lot worse than i should. I have a guy friend at the moment and he is a real fairweather friend. I know a ...
A. 22 October 2009: There really is no way to make people treat you better, dear. They are who they are. Perhaps, you have to be more selective by looking for people who choose your views and principals. It's likely, that it is just in your personality, to be a ... (read in full...)
Did he marry me for love? Or was it out of lonliness?
Q. Hey all, i have been married for just over a year now and my husband married me a few monthes after his mum died and his dad also died about two years before his mum. I have been a bit unsure about whether or not he married me for love or because ...
A. 19 October 2009: We can't tell you 'why' he married you. But his actions are saying here, that he's trying to cheat on you, so if I were you, I'd be more concerned about his online habits rather than worrying if he married you out of love or loneliness. If he's ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend carries around naked pictures of his exes!
Q. My bf of 10 months, but we worked together for a year n a half prior ... Has a lunchbox full of nude pics of himself w/ him, exes end , exwife. They are all very tiny and apparently very comfortable w/ themselves. I believe that he loves me and may ...
A. 19 October 2009: You need to insist that you are the lady, he has a fresh, clean start with. So...tell him to get rid of them. Set a boundary and maybe he'll respect you because he isn't doing that now, is he. Many people in relationships may feel it's okay to ... (read in full...)
My ex is really persistent and I don't know how to deal with it
Q. Dear Cupid, I have now been single for 10 months. I ended my last relationship due to finding out that my ex of 9 month had a drug addiction to percs and occasionly usued anonomys drugs. With built up hostility I forbid to give him another chan...
A. 18 October 2009: Please be careful. And please understand, when someone is this obsessed they do not know how to love. You are a 'possession' and 'only' his feelings over-ride everything. A healthy love interest does not do this. A person who is healthy thinking and ... (read in full...)
My ex is really persistent and I don't know how to deal with it
Q. Dear Cupid, I have now been single for 10 months. I ended my last relationship due to finding out that my ex of 9 month had a drug addiction to percs and occasionly usued anonomys drugs. With built up hostility I forbid to give him another chan...
A. 17 October 2009: Let's start here. I am seeing a lovely person here who seems to be drawn to a man, who she says, HE has nothing to offer her, anymore. You may need to really learn what it is about 'you' that keeps you reeled in and attached to this man and about ... (read in full...)
I love my boyfriend but am terrified of him!
Q. I really need some help. I am trapped. I don't know where or who to go to bc the stupid part of me feels that this isn't reality. My boyfriend of 2 years is from Italy. I am American. He's been coming down from depression and I have been trying...
A. 17 October 2009: can't understand how one can love a man who scares the crap out of them. Does a man who loves a woman ...treat her in such a way? No he doesn't. He respects, he honors and he protects her, in every way he can. Listen, you have suffered. His ... (read in full...)
18 months later and b/f still doesn't have a job..time to leave?
Q. Please can you advise me although I think I may know the answer already.... I have been with my current boyfriend for 18 months after being friends for about 4 years. Previously I had always gone for 'bad' boys and was in a relationship where th...
A. 11 October 2009: In all relationships, both people must be held accountable for their choices. Giving up your self-respect and values to hold onto someone who is dragging you down, is corroding your sense of self and I have to ask why, you are allowing it? He has ... (read in full...)
How do I fix my severe insecurities?
Q. hi there. i have a problem and its something that on mind 24/7. ive met this guy who is the only person since my first love that i was giddy and excited with butterflys. were doing a long distance relationship. he is 4 years younger than me ie 19 ...
A. 10 October 2009: It's my opinion, that insecurity in a relationship is based all on one's fearfulness. And more often, it's that ole fear of rejection, rearing it's ugly head. Believe me, you are not alone on this. I think every human on the planet, has endured this ... (read in full...)
I do not want to ruin my marriage for a ghost! Please Help!
Q. I have been happily married for 11 years, no kids :-( my husband is wonderful man and I could not have asked for more. He gives me everything I've ever wanted. I am a very conservative women and for the the past 11 years I have never ever thought ...
A. 10 October 2009: I am concurring with a lot of the advise below. You need to think clearly here with your sensibilities and not your hormones. This man on the phone, is just a lustful fantasy..nothing more. His attentions to you... get your motor running, doesn't ... (read in full...)
Help! I don't know how to decide between the two...
Q. Well... This is something that I don't know how to deal with. How do I do the right thing? There are two girls who I like. The first one I am really close to. She knows how I feel about her. Thing is though, she never rejected me as such...
A. 10 October 2009: We can't really tell you who to choose, dear. Dating is a tough selection process, isn't it. All I will say, is you are 18-21 years of age and this is the time of your life where you should be having fun and exploring all sorts of dating situations. ... (read in full...)
Which is worse and how to move on?
Q. I have been with my fiance for over three years now. At the beginning of our third year together I made a few mistakes. I once gave my number out to a guy, but told my fiance on the same day and didn't know why I did it. I then developed a crush on ...
A. 10 October 2009: Love is not supposed to be this bitter hateful and painful, like this. Something is not working here. It sounds almost obsessive and you both love the battles, the war, the hurt... whereas it shouldn't be.
I think you both acted in a very dest... (read in full...)
Why does he want to sleep with me now that he's married?
Q. Dear All, I have a problem 14 years ago I was in love and thought I had meet the man who would one day make me his wife. We spent 5 years together and had a child, both of us being young and all we made some stupid choose cheating etc.... The ...
A. 3 October 2009: Hi there. You ask why he's doing this. Well, it's my opinion that usually married men, who pursue other women other than their wives are merely after sexual conquests, hun. Sometimes when a marriage or relationship gets complacent, some married ... (read in full...)
Worried about my ex, he looks and sounds awful..I want to get back with him!
Q. Ok, so my Bf broke up with me at the beginning of this month. I was devasted and shocked, because it was out of nowhere. We were a week away from moving in together in an apartment. Anyway, he would occasionally text me with empty stuff like ...
A. 28 September 2009: am sorry for your pain..really I am. But, please, please, please stop waiting for this guy to call you. You saw him on Thursady...he said he'd call. It's now Monday and he's not calling. The guy is not thinking of getting back together with ... (read in full...)
Update on text cheating husband...
Q. Hi everyone, This is an update on the situation with my text cheating husband which I posted about a few times. We have recently returned from a cruise which was completely marred by 'her' and spent nearly every day arguing because I kept b...
A. 2 September 2009: Hi there, hun. What your husband did to you was crappy and I am so sorry. But it seems you are taking this angry pain/anxiety and continuing to live in constant fear. Fear of what? Of losing him? The other Aunts are right in asking you...why are ... (read in full...)
My wife's sex drive is nearly extinct and I don't know what to do anymore!
Q. My wifes sex drive is nearly extinct, I don't know what to do, 9 times out of 10 she states she doesn't want sex when I try to start intimacy, or she has some other excuse. My wife (common law)is a very sexual person, in the first 3 years of us ...
A. 16 August 2009:
Try checking out this link...a great article:
http://www.goodhousekeeping.com/family/marriage-sex/women-sexual-desire-0307... (read in full...)
How can I make our relationship develop in a very short time?
Q. Hi, guys, I have been liking the guy from my college, we are both draduates. After months, he asked me about my feeling and uncovered his interest, yet he is very shy and reserve by nature. He asked me not to take him wrong as he might need some ...
A. 15 August 2009: The only way a relationship can be developed is 'spending quality time' together. I would think he's want that too. It appears your fellow is traditonal in the sense that he is ready to find a bride and he's quite marriage minded. And usually, a ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for him again, but he's still with the baby mother
Q. Need some advice. About 10 years ago right after high school I was seeing this guy...we will call him John. Everything was great between us until right after John's high school graduation. See I bought him a present which happened to be a gold ring ...
A. 14 August 2009: John knows exactly why he's back in your life and so do you. He's not being too incredibly honest here, is he? It's time for you let go and never look back. He's not looking for friendship..he looking for a warm body to fill his emotional void. Or ... (read in full...)
Is it possible that she just fell out of love with me overnight? Or is there another reason why she ended things?
Q. Ok, time to tell you the story. Right, im 20 years old, and my ex is 18. We meat in college last september, and from day 1 I knew she was special. Within a week of college me and her had become great friends, bestfriends, but i was to afraid t...
A. 14 August 2009: Sorry to say this, but you can't just get her back and we can not tell you how. . If she's not on your doorstep, claiming that her love for you is endless.. it means he doesn't want to be with you right now, in a committed, dating way. And at her ... (read in full...)
I'm falling for him again, but he's still with the baby mother
Q. Need some advice. About 10 years ago right after high school I was seeing this guy...we will call him John. Everything was great between us until right after John's high school graduation. See I bought him a present which happened to be a gold ring ...
A. 14 August 2009: You have every right to ask him why he's back in your life. especially when he has a child and a gf sitting at home. Really, I am sure you'll agree that he should be giving them his time...not you. Listen, John has a child with his current gf, ... (read in full...)
I logged into his myspace to leave him a surprise but I'm the one who got the surprise!
Q. My fiance and I have been going out for almost 2 years now. I am no longer sure if I can trust him any more. I was just messing around on myspace.com I was going to sign in to his account to leave a message for him as a surprise when he log on next, ...
A. 12 August 2009: Yes, absolute trust is the building block of a quality healthy relationship. And you are having trouble with this. Can't blame you..his behaviors shattered the trust here, didn't it. I have troubles with these MySpace.com, Twitter, FaceBook ... (read in full...)
She has slept with numerous men whilst we were dating and now she has disappeared!
Q. I started a courtship with a girl in 2003, at the end of 2004 we stopped the courtship because she was pregnant and she had never slept with me. A year later we started dating again and developed an interesting and serious relationship. She is now ...
A. 7 August 2009: Where is the child from the first pregnancy? And you say she is pregnant again...with your child? To be honest, I am wondering if she's bailed on the relationship because she's found no other way to explain herself. I realize you miss her and care ... (read in full...)
I don't believe in true love so I want my friend to pop my cherry!
Q. How can I convince my friend to pop my cherry before I go off to the college? I really don't believe in "True Love", so I'm not waiting for the right man....
A. 7 August 2009: Whoa! Yos, is correct. True Love does exist and I hope you do come to the time, where you may believe in it. It's a truely remarkable thing to experience. So with those words, I want to say to you, hun...Please wait and have sex with the person who ... (read in full...)
I'm 28, He's 66. Do you think the age difference is too great?
Q. I need to know other peoples opinion about my current relationship. I am 28 year old female and dating a 66 year old male. Nobody in my family knows about it because I am quite sure they are not going to approve. I really love this man and some...
A. 7 August 2009: Hi there, OP. The anon female who answered your questions in a hurtful manner, has had her postings removed. It's ok to voice an opinion here, folks..but these types of answers are not helpful, and one does not have the right to be disrespectful, to ... (read in full...)
Is he hoping that I will ask him out or is he trying to pluck up the courage to ask me out?
Q. Asked a guy out by text as said i couldn't ask him face to face as i could never get him alone. He didn't reply but approach me and said he hadn't ignored my texts but never mentioned going out. Was this my opportunity to ask him??? It see...
A. 6 August 2009: Well, if he saw that text message , he was rather rude not to respond through a reply or in person when he saw you, wasn't he? We are not talking about a awkward adolescent kid here. This is an mature, adult male so why the game? However, did he ... (read in full...)
He's never shown signs that he was interested but all of a sudden he gave me a hug!
Q. Hi, I am new to this forum and would really appreciate some help. I am attracted towards a man whom I know for more than 2 years, I can tell that there is a spark between us. However, until now we have been like friends. He has never touched me...
A. 6 August 2009: In light of the fact, that he has never, ever touched you in any way...I can really understand why one would view this 'hug' as an opening to bigger and better things. A good test, is to initiate the hug next time you see him...and see how he reacts ... (read in full...)
I'm 28, He's 66. Do you think the age difference is too great?
Q. I need to know other peoples opinion about my current relationship. I am 28 year old female and dating a 66 year old male. Nobody in my family knows about it because I am quite sure they are not going to approve. I really love this man and some...
A. 6 August 2009: Some of the Aunts below bring up so many good valid points and I must say, I concur. Listen, you are both legal adults....so no one here can tell you that you are being silly or that this age gap relationship is wrong.
You do say that your rel... (read in full...)
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