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*sSadie

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Teenager is going to study and live alone in Canada

Q.   I have a daughter, she is 13 years old. We are divorced with her mother. Mother wants to send our daughter to the secondary school in Canada to study. She plans that our daughter will stay alone and study. I don t agree with this plan, as I thi...

A.   3 September 2013: I agree with you. 13 is very young to travel halfway across the world to study. Is the issue the quality of the education that she is currently receiving? If so, would you be willing to research the top schools in your country for girls in your ... (read in full...)

Is it a red flag when a 55 year old man has lots of female friends young enough to be his daughters?

Q.   Hello. I am 35yrs female (single). I am dating a guy who is 55yrs old (divorced). I like him very much and we are taking our time knowing each other. There is not intimacy between us yet and I like the way he respect it and we share quality time and...

A.   2 September 2013: Are they all from his workplace? I can understand why you'd feel insecure, but it isn't necessarily anything to worry about. My father, who's almost 60, doesn't use social networking, but the women who work at his corporation absolutely adore hi... (read in full...)

No matter what I do, girls still don"t like me!

Q.   What am i doing wrong , girls still dont like me ? Im a junior in hs and alot of girls dont like me . Idk y though , i tried be confident, an asshole, ect. pretty much everything Nothing works !!!! And all my female friends say im real attr...

A.   1 September 2013: It's probably your insecurities showing, despite your best efforts to hide them. Your desperate efforts to be what you think girls desire most likely come off as disingenuous or try-hard. Those are two of the most unattractive traits a person can ... (read in full...)

Sister in law wants sex and my wife wants me to give it to her

Q.   I'm not a young man anymore. I've had a good marriage so far, at least I though we did. First, my wife and my sister in law were both victims of being raped by their father as teens, it was kept a deep family secret. I'm not sure about this ...

A.   1 September 2013: I think you do know what her motives are, hence why you began your question by informing us that your wife and her sister were sexually abused. You're not comfortable with it, so just say no. Additionally, be a good husband and help your wife add... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has cheated on me several times. Is it acceptable for me to have an affair of my own to show her that there are consequences to her behaviour?

Q.   My 28yo GF has been with me for 5 years. This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time. My GF openly says she used to be a huge cheater. Then...

A.   1 September 2013: "This is the best relationship either of us have ever had. Its not perfect but we enjoy each other and we are good for each other most of the time." I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but this relationship of yours is no good. I'm sorry that it'... (read in full...)

I think I have a physical sexual problem but don't want to tell my mom! What should I do?

Q.   I don't know if I should be asking for this kind of advice on here or not but I don't know where to go with it. I'm shy and don't want to speak to/show my mum, but I have a problem with my vagina, i don't know how to explain the problem and i am not ...

A.   1 September 2013: Sorry, honey, but you're going to have to go into a little bit more detail than that. By "things there that shouldn't be there" do you mean bumps, blemishes, extra skin, discharge, male parts, discoloration? Have you had any other symptoms b... (read in full...)

Why do people assume it's just for a green card?

Q.   Why is that a foreign guy leaves his family , his country , where he has spend his childhood, his friends and everything for American wife and relocate to US but still he will get this taunt of getting married for green card? Why American girls ...

A.   31 August 2013: I respect your opinion as well, Cindy. I actually have travelled quite a bit. Not to Pakistan, where our OP is from, but I'm an American who spent the first decade of her childhood living abroad due to my father's job. We moved around Europe every ... (read in full...)

I'm curious about what my girlfriend meant.

Q.   My girlfriend told me that she will always love me for who I am no matter what comes or happens in between....From a female perspective, what does that mean? I'm just curious as hell. Please help............

A.   30 August 2013: What is the background to the situation? It's hard to share my perspective with so little context. Supposing that she said that to you completely out of the blue or in an intimate moment, I think she meant exactly what she said. If you two we... (read in full...)

I feel I am too intimidating .....

Q.   I feel like i am too intimidating to guys and therefore they dont talk/approach me. I have a general 'don't mess with me/i am my own person' attitude that lets boys know that if the try to mess me around like they do to other girls i just won...

A.   30 August 2013: Don't change a thing about yourself, especially if it's just to get a boyfriend. The most likely reason you've been unable to hook a guy is that you're 16-17. When you're that young, your community/social circles are small and you're in environm... (read in full...)

Why do people assume it's just for a green card?

Q.   Why is that a foreign guy leaves his family , his country , where he has spend his childhood, his friends and everything for American wife and relocate to US but still he will get this taunt of getting married for green card? Why American girls ...

A.   30 August 2013: I have to disagree a bit with two of the first three answers. Leaving one's country is always going to be a massive sacrifice. Sure, you may be dodging some things like mandatory military requirements or arranged marriage, but that doesn't ... (read in full...)

I think I'm dating an alcoholic. What can I do to help him?

Q.   I believe I'm dating an alcoholic. Is there any hope? He's so great when he's sober. We both like to dance and have a few drinks, so for the last 6 months I've been in a bit of denial I guess. Where as I can stop at 3 drinks all night at a night...

A.   29 August 2013: I wouldn't call him an alcoholic just yet. Alcoholics and people who are alcohol-dependent are PHYSICALLY dependent on the substance. They spend a disproportionate number of hours inebriated, and to suddenly stop drinking would cause moderate to ... (read in full...)

Do I have the right to feel jealous if my on-and off bf sleep with another girl?

Q.   Hello, So technically my boyfriend broke up with me a year and half ago (in Jan 2012) but he still keeps me around. He said long distance isn't for him but I still love him and have a hard time letting him go. So, every break when I get a chance, ...

A.   24 August 2013: "He said I should try to go out more often and meet other people." I agree with him. My guess is that you have a hard time moving on because you don't have anyone else in your life to move on to. Cut the contact with this dude, and socializ... (read in full...)

Do I have the right to feel jealous if my on-and off bf sleep with another girl?

Q.   Hello, So technically my boyfriend broke up with me a year and half ago (in Jan 2012) but he still keeps me around. He said long distance isn't for him but I still love him and have a hard time letting him go. So, every break when I get a chance, ...

A.   24 August 2013: No, I don't think it's rational for you to be jealous. He's not your on/off boyfriend - you're his booty call. I know that it's hard to be single sometimes, but for the sake of your sanity and self-respect it's time to end this "relatio... (read in full...)

Would it be alright to date a former teacher that I now work with?

Q.   I have just recently become a teacher and one of my ex teachers is working at the same school I am and he is older then me and taught me for a year. However we have become friends and are getting to know each other but I was thinking would it be ...

A.   22 August 2013: If it's okay with you and it's okay with him, then there's no shame in that. Just make sure that your place of employment doesn't have any rules against employees dating each other.... (read in full...)

She doesn't want to be friends but won't block/delete my number. Why?

Q.   Question for the group here thanks for any reply: A girl blocked my number previously twice and unblocked it... shes telling me to leave her alone for a few weeks, doesnt want to be friends, yet refuses to delete my number or block it again. W...

A.   22 August 2013: Why are you continuing to contact someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to you? That's harassment. There are any number of reasons that she could have unblocked your number. When I had to block someone's number in the past, I still got notifica... (read in full...)

I gave a guy my phone number but I'm not really interested in him. What should I do?

Q.   I went out on Monday night with some friends and their friends (whom I had never met). One of the guys whom I didn't know asked me for my phone number before I left. He knows I don't have a boyfriend. I gave it to him but I'm not interested at al...

A.   22 August 2013: I've been in similar situations, but I never even want to be friends with the guy. Really persistent men can be super hard to reject, and so in those cases I'll just ignore their calls and texts. Your situation is different, though, because ... (read in full...)

I've been mourning my dog for two years -- is that normal?

Q.   Hello Aunts, It's really difficult to describe your feelings when they run deep, at least I really struggle with it. I honestly suck at expressing my deepest feelings in words and I am heartbroken to the core. So, I apologize in advance for my p...

A.   17 August 2013: Hmm, I'll tell you what my thought is: I think a big part of the issue stems from your difficulties socializing and adapting to American culture. The only friendship that you mentioned in your question was with your dog and the people you knew in ... (read in full...)

The girl I love is very goodlooking and she constantly posts pictures of herself online which other guys comment on. Why is she doing this and how can I show her how much I like her?

Q.   Too make a long story short. Theres this girl whos really hot and from 1 to 10 shes a outstanding 10, i met her at my school and she was taken at the time, so time went by and she ended up becoming single and me and her became closer. i would ditch ...

A.   16 August 2013: She's young and she's hot, and she's making the most of it. Unless you are her boyfriend, you're not entitled to her exclusive attention. You want to be her boyfriend, so man-up and say something to her. If she likes you enough, she'll be receptiv... (read in full...)

Cougar needs advice - does he like me?

Q.   Hi everyone. I am a 32 year old mother of 2 children. But I am stuck in a loveless marriage with an uncaring husband. However I have recently fallen for another man who is intelligent, has many of the same qualities as me, and ohh so gorgeous ...

A.   16 August 2013: Is this real life or are you testing out material for an erotica story? That's how the first four paragraphs read. The first thing that needs to be addressed is your desire to stray from your husband. With two kids by this man, you need to try t... (read in full...)

How do I let her know I like her and can't wait for the next date but not come across as an annoying idiot?

Q.   Hi I just met this girl, she is much younger than me, but this isn't the first time I've hung out with a younger girl so I am aware of any potential pitfalls. She was very nervous about meeting me and backed out once, but the second attempt it ...

A.   15 August 2013: Has it been a long time since you've been genuinely interested in someone? That could have something to do with it. Why are you so concerned that she'll suddenly meet somebody? It's not like she had been "getting around" before you two hooked u... (read in full...)

If a guy misses you, does that mean he has feelings for you?

Q.   Hello everyone. I just have a question. I hope to hear from some men as well. When a man tells you he will miss you (he is going away on a trip for a week)..... is this a good sign that he has feelings for you/has an emotional connection ...

A.   15 August 2013: If he's made the decision to be exclusive with you, then there's already an emotional connection. Guys don't do that if they don't genuinely like you.... (read in full...)

I'm wondering if my friend is gay?

Q.   I come here again for advice or at least hoping to get answers that will help me understand this whole situation. So I just moved to a new state with a friend of mine we will call him D (who I met online on a business group) we pretty much do t...

A.   14 August 2013: Tread carefully. Sounds to me like D is curious. I wouldn't conclude that he's gay or that, even if he is, he'll come out of the closet for a long time. If you're okay with being a curious man's "experiment," then go ahead and outwardly show tha... (read in full...)

If a guy misses you, does that mean he has feelings for you?

Q.   Hello everyone. I just have a question. I hope to hear from some men as well. When a man tells you he will miss you (he is going away on a trip for a week)..... is this a good sign that he has feelings for you/has an emotional connection ...

A.   14 August 2013: Can you give us a little more background on your relationship with the guy? If you two are just platonic or have been flirting up to this point, then I'd say that his words are indeed indicative on an emotional connection to you. Make somethin... (read in full...)

How do I let my boyfriend know that I don't want a ring?

Q.   This may be a bit of an odd question, but it's a subject I'd rather not bring up with women I know personally because so many of them are so materialistic. My boyfriend and I are not engaged, but we are getting serious and from comments he has ...

A.   14 August 2013: I'd just casually bring it up. If you can gear the conversation towards your feelings about materialism, slip it in there. As a side note, it's great that you have a cause and want to take a personal stand. But don't think your "f**k you" to the m... (read in full...)

I am a very quiet and boring guy, will girls like me?

Q.   I am a 23 year old guy and never had a girlfriend before. Its not that I don't like women/girls, its because I don't know how to get one due to the fact that I always keep my mouth shut, but I can't help it because its my personality. It is kind of ...

A.   14 August 2013: Who cares if you're quiet? Some girls like that. I think the bigger issue is the "boring" part. Does this mean that you have no hobbies and don't ever leave your home? Because having hobbies and being active are how you'll meet a woman who will... (read in full...)

My 14 year old daughter gets attention from older guys

Q.   Hi, I have a 14 year old daughter and if you looked at her (the way she dresses her makeup and how she acts) you would think she's at least 16. This doesn't worry me, she's very mature and beautiful and most people can't believe she's just 14. She's ...

A.   13 August 2013: When I read "older guys" I was thinking you meant guys who are like 35 and older. What you're actually describing is teenage boys doing what teenage boys do: ogle. Remember adolescence is basically all about budding sexuality. Your daughter... (read in full...)

My married ex called me to say he still has feelings for me. I feel the same but what should I do?

Q.   I'm 21 years old my whole life I have only had 3 serious relationships. I have a 2 year old with my ex. We broke up march 15th of last year and it was so hard i was devastated i thought i'd never get over it. I always knew that he was the one but ...

A.   13 August 2013: I think what you should do is take a step back and analyze yourself, your need for love, your eagerness to find "the one" at 21, and who you fall for. Let me start with a genuine compliment: It's great that you and your child's father have a g... (read in full...)

Does my husband really love me when he still wants to go to his ex's house?

Q.   Hey everyone im new to this site. Im not sure where to start. But i am very heartbroken my husband and i have been married for over a year we had only been dating for a month then we got married. My husband has a daughter from a previous ...

A.   13 August 2013: Things aren't looking too good for you two, no. I'm never one to judge, and I wasn't there to observe your relationship develop. That said, marriages that happen between two people as young as you rarely work. If you have been married for a year, ... (read in full...)

Your first love: Do you ever really get over them?

Q.   Do you ever truly get over your first love? It has been almost four years and I have been in a relationship for a while, but I still catch my self remininscing of the past. We were together for 2 years. ...

A.   13 August 2013: It depends. When the "first love" happened, for example, and the circumstances of the breakup could factor in to how you feel about the relationship presently. If your first love happened when you were more mature (say 18+), the relation... (read in full...)

My girlfriend has retrograde jealousy and its getting worse!

Q.   Hello Everyone, I have spent the last week reading everything I could on this website relating to the subject of "Retroactive Jealousy" but I was not able to find much relating to my case (surprisingly, since there is a lot of information here...

A.   13 August 2013: "Let's call my ex X (because this is a variable in the equation which is causing us all trouble)" That's so clever! Your handle of the english language is superb. Anyway, I agree with the other agony aunts who suggest that your girlfriend seek ... (read in full...)

How do I let her know I like her and can't wait for the next date but not come across as an annoying idiot?

Q.   Hi I just met this girl, she is much younger than me, but this isn't the first time I've hung out with a younger girl so I am aware of any potential pitfalls. She was very nervous about meeting me and backed out once, but the second attempt it ...

A.   13 August 2013: Did you guys plan the next date already? If not, shoot her a text with an idea for your next outing. Start of course with a "hey, how are you?" and then, after she replies and you two maybe have a back and forth about that, briefly share your ideas ... (read in full...)

Do I stay with my LDR friend? She's now dating but I had always hoped we'd get together again

Q.   Hi, I'm a bit stuck and need some advice. I'm 34 and met a girl who's 30 twelve months go. It was instant, very strong, attraction. Butterflies, the works for both of us. After more dates we found we liked each other very much and both thought...

A.   13 August 2013: Are you capable of only thinking of her as a friend? It doesn't sound like it, but if you are able to care about her and communicate with her in a strictly platonic way then don't lose the contact. More likely, though, you won't be able to get o... (read in full...)

He stares at my lips while speaking. Does this mean anything?

Q.   So there is an older man.. about 10 years older, I am 21... He is my superior at work. He's really smart and I find myself really attracted to him. Every time he is explaining something to me he looks at my lips while he speaks. And when he is t...

A.   12 August 2013: Does he give you any other body language cues that would suggest interest? For example, does he touch you (on the arm, shoulder, back) when you two talk? ... (read in full...)

Stretch marks make me very self-conscious

Q.   I got LOTS of strech marks (arms/legs/back) when i was 14 years old. I wasn't thin but wouldn't call myself fat. I think it was perhaps growing too fast and maybe not realising i was putting on a little too much weight. The thing is, for all my ...

A.   11 August 2013: I have stretch marks because I used to be quite heavy. Are your stretch marks still red? If so there's more that you can do about them. I recommend cocoa butter and lotions with collagen because both tighten the skin. I put cocoa butter on red s... (read in full...)

If someone likes you does it show in their eyes?

Q.   Hi all, Hope you are all enjoying your weekend! My question might sound really dumb to many of you who are from countries with races with blue and green eyes, but for me who is from a country of people with black eyes is a new thing. I would l...

A.   11 August 2013: No, what you've described holds no scientific truth. You can see intrigue and attraction in a person's eyes by the dilation of their pupils, but even that happens so quickly and slightly that, unless you're standing less than six inches from his... (read in full...)

If I tell her that I've been waiting for her, I'm afraid I'll lose her friendship

Q.   So im 27, never had a relationship, g/f, kissed, sex, etc... So i went out last night with a friend that ive had a crush on for 12 years and it just tears me up inside knowing that she is just my friend. If i tell her that over the years the reas...

A.   11 August 2013: You've been waiting for the same girl to like you for TWELVE years?! I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news here, but that isn't going to happen. I don't recommend you tell her that you've been crushing on her for the last 12 years either because,... (read in full...)

The more successful I become, the more friends I lose! Why?

Q.   I feel like the more I get older and the more successful I become then the more I lose my female friends. Please someone explain how or why? I'm 35 years old and it hurtful and confusing. ...

A.   11 August 2013: Maybe they're jealous. Maybe you don't have as much time for them. Maybe you all weren't compatible in the first place. Maybe they weren't the kind of friends that are meant to stick around forever (have you ever heard that thing about the three ... (read in full...)

We dated for 4 years, broke up and now 3 months later he's getting married! Why didn't he marry me?

Q.   Hurt and angry about that my ex is about to marry his new girlfriend! Ex and I dated for 4 years. We had talked about marriage-it was a bit of a rocky relationship. He broke up with me, and less than two weeks later, he is already with someone new...

A.   11 August 2013: It does sound like he may have been cheating, but I don't think it's fair for people to jump to that conclusion so assuredly. A good friend of mine got engaged to the first girlfriend he ever had after only one and a half months of dating. Now, they ... (read in full...)

Why do these women want to stay friends after we stop dating?

Q.   Hi, Why do many girls I have dated, and we both like each other a lot, go cold, all stops, but want to stay in touch as friends? ...

A.   11 August 2013: Because we women often like to believe that we can be friends with men as easily as we can be friends with other women. Plus, it's nice to have a little testosterone in our lives, and the influence and opinions of men are welcomed fresh perspectives ... (read in full...)

Why was she hesitant to give me a kiss? Before that we talked.Any suggestions on how I could have handled it?

Q.   I would just appreciate opinions on the following: I was sitting alone in a venue in the early hours, when a girl sat near me and started talking to me. Which is quite unusual for a female to do at 2am. The normal thing they do is stand around g...

A.   11 August 2013: It's possible that she is just a friendly person who didn't want to wait alone for her taxi. Don't assume that just because a woman approaches you it's because she's into you. As for how you could have handled it, I wouldn't suggest asking a... (read in full...)

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