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*hipwreckd agony aunt

*hipwreckd

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*hipwreckd's profile:

I'm 31 years old - I've been through just about every type of relationship you can imagine.

I'm a Certified Massage Therapist, a business analyst, a musician, a podcast host, and general "people watcher." These things inspire me and give me insight into the everyday workings of the human condition.

Thanks to sites like this, I hope to help others find better relationships through logical advice and brutal honesty.

Questions about vaginas

Q.   Do smaller skinnier girls have smaller/tigher vaginas compared to big girls? And does your vagina get smaller when you lose weight? Thanks....

A.   4 March 2009: One word: Genetics. It's whatever is in the code that dictates that. ... (read in full...)

What is your opinion of people who cannot look you in the eye?

Q.   What does it mean when a person can't stand to look you in the eyes for more than two seconds? My brother-in-law is like that and also this guy at church. There's no attraction whatsoever between any of us. My brother in law is like my own brother ...

A.   4 March 2009: Maybe the 24 year old is afraid to look at you because he's attracted to you and doesn't want you to know...? I don't look people in the eyes for several reasons (when it happens...er doesn't happen): a) I don't like the person. b) I ... (read in full...)

I'm questioning moving on from him now. What should I do?

Q.   I am currently getting over a guy and need opinions to see if Im on the right track. My problem is, when Im in his spotlight, he showers me with attention/texts/flirting and Im happy. When he ignores me, which is most of the time, including right ...

A.   4 March 2009: You're beyond right for distancing yourself. This guy is toxic and you're feeling the pangs of what it's like to break off from a toxic relationship. (Google: EMOTIONAL ABUSE.) They suck even more than breaking off from healthy relationships. He ... (read in full...)

We have not had sex for 4 months, what is wrong with him?

Q.   My partner and i had no sex for four months it is unlikely of him to go without sex, what is wrong with him?...

A.   4 March 2009: He's not into you. Find a new boyfriend that will fulfill your needs. ... (read in full...)

Would like opinions on shaving the "area"?

Q.   is it more sanitary for a women to shave "down there"?...

A.   4 March 2009: Pubic hair is there for the same reason any other hair exists on our bodies - to keep that area warm. I know that, as a guy, I prefer a trimmed/shaved woman. In fact a woman with the full rose garden growing down there is a complete turn-off... (read in full...)

Where should we watch a movie together, if I want us to be closer?

Q.   What's the best way to watch a movie with two people that obviously have feelings towards one another but nobody's made a move yet: in a theater or at the guy's house? I'm thinking the guy's house because we'd have a chance to talk and watch t...

A.   4 March 2009: Location doesn't matter. If you like him, pony up and make the first move. He's not moving on you BECAUSE he's shy and quiet. Just do it. You'll be happy that you did. ... (read in full...)

Will this work??

Q.   Dear Cupid: I met a great guy after a long relationship finally ended (messily) and we started a fast relationship. From the beginning, he didn't trust me; he had been hurt in the past and I tried to be understanding and confident about ...

A.   4 March 2009: That all depends on how you feel. This last relationship already set you up for failure from the start, and you willingly became a part of his self-fulfilling prophecy. It's hard to be in a relationship with someone that is insecure and not ... (read in full...)

We slept together, went on dates, she was very affectionate and said she loved me. Now she says she has no romantic interest in me. I am crushed, what do I do?

Q.   So here's how it went down for me. I've had a friend for over the last twenty years. He's also my backyard neighbor (meaning not back to back, but corner to corner). Were both 24 and still living at home. Because his family is so friendly they've ...

A.   16 September 2008: That's good to hear - and maybe this will be a case of time doing it's thing. You're young and have a lot in front of you to look forward to. You sound like, despite everything, you're a good guy with a solid head on your shoulders. You'll find ... (read in full...)

I don't have a life outside this relationship, I feel like I've lost myself. I've become very controlling... I need urgent help!

Q.   Hey there, I feel i've lost myself! I've been in this relationship for almost 3 years and until this year i feel like i've change for the worst.I love my boyfriend very much and we plan to get married one day. I think i've become very controll...

A.   15 September 2008: Have you been cheated on before? If yes, then that's a likely answer for what you're feeling now. Let's tell you what will happen. a) You'll do nothing, and leave whatever past issues that are causing this unaddressed. Eventually, ... (read in full...)

We slept together, went on dates, she was very affectionate and said she loved me. Now she says she has no romantic interest in me. I am crushed, what do I do?

Q.   So here's how it went down for me. I've had a friend for over the last twenty years. He's also my backyard neighbor (meaning not back to back, but corner to corner). Were both 24 and still living at home. Because his family is so friendly they've ...

A.   15 September 2008: Wow - quite the pickle. First, she just got out of a two year relationship. I don't blame her for not wanting to jump from the fire to the frying pan. My opinion is you two shared a "moment" and that moment is over. She has tried to tell yo... (read in full...)

I put my girlfriend up on a pedestal and feel like I'm not good enough for her. It's ruining the relationship, help!

Q.   I'm in need of some advice. I'm an average-looking 24 year old and am currently dating a very beautiful girl 2 years my junior. The problem is that I think she's too good for me. She's so sweet (personality-wise) and pretty and i'm convinced she's ...

A.   15 September 2008: My dear, dear friend. Wow. That sounds exactly like me years ago. Putting a girl on a pedestal WILL ruin a relationship, not to mention your self-esteem and dignity. Try treating her like, oh, a human and more than the components you see on teh ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me because I ran into my ex when I went out. What now?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for three years, we have had our ups and downs, the other night I was mad at him so i went out and i happened to see my ex boyfriend when i got home i told him but he freaked out screaming telling me not to go ...

A.   15 September 2008: Give him space to cool off. When you two are on speaking terms again (and you will be in a few days) ask him why he responded like that, and make sure he knows how you felt about his reaction. It's not ok for him to be upset with you over run... (read in full...)

I watched porn and got aroused. Then there was all this stuff down below... is it normal?

Q.   I found porn films in my brothers bedroom and I started watching them and got turned on but I had all this white and clear stuff down below and I mean a lot is this normal....

A.   15 September 2008: You got aroused. that's what happens. Just remember that the real thing is nothing like porn and you'll be okay. ... (read in full...)

Could tick bites be causing my symptoms?

Q.   okay so recently i went tree planting and i got bitten by some ticks. about 2 weeks later, the bites are still visible and itchy, and more inflamed. my best friend has been bitten by ticks and hers never got this bad. i have also noticed that my ...

A.   4 September 2008: Ticks can cause some very nasty LETHAL diseases, like Lyme disease for starters. Go to teh doctor - get checked out. Do not delay. ... (read in full...)

Should I meet a guy from an online dating site? He's not asked much about my life and is rather kinky.

Q.   hi, can anyone give me some advice please? should i meet a guy iv been chatting to from an online dating site? weve been chatting for a while, he seems ok to me and iv seen pictures of him but he seems really keen to meet up, he's not really asked ...

A.   7 August 2008: Get to know him better. Never EVER meet somone from the online world without knowing them for a while. You have to be very cautious these days. What you see is not always what you get. He prolly just wants to have a fling with you and that's it. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't want me to talk to my mum! What do I do?

Q.   this is a very long story but ill give you the shortened version. I have been with my boyfriend for about 2 years now. He moved in about 10 months ago with me and my two children. When we first met I told him alot of lies and he only found out ...

A.   7 August 2008: Leave now. Anytime a b/f or g/f gets in teh way of your family and friend relationships it's a pretty good sign that the b/f or g/f is a manipulative controller/abuser. In your case, it sounds like your b/f is the contolling/abusing type. T... (read in full...)

Whats wrong with my boyfriend?! I'm worried.

Q.   my boyfriend expect me to always call him. he dont call me as usual. if we are to talk its only me to call. if i send him romantic massages he dont reply them. he only replies if he wants to be annoyed with me. whats wrong with him? worried...!...

A.   7 August 2008: It sounds liek he's not that into you. give it space. don't call him. See how long it goes for. If it goes past a week you have your answer. ... (read in full...)

My partner left me because I went to meet my ex. I don't understand. I always stood by him.

Q.   I have been with my partner for 2.5 years, some of the time it has been great and others really hard, my partner was in a good job and lost it all thro drugs.. I made the choice to stand by him and help him thro it all but 18 months on it was still ...

A.   7 August 2008: Give him space. It's that old adage of "If you love something, set it free..." Let fate play out. See what happens. Good luck!... (read in full...)

He kissed his ex, wanted more... Should I stay? How do I trust him?

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years, in the beginning of our relationship I found him emotionally cheating via email with 3 other women. Since then I have always had trust issues, I am constantly checking his email, voicemail, myspace. ...

A.   7 August 2008: no trust = no relationshhip. ... (read in full...)

No butterflies when my latest boyfriend kisses me. What is wrong with me?

Q.   I've only been dating my boyfriend for a month and a half and I don't feel butterflies. I really really like him though and think he may be the one, but I can't understand why I don't feel butterflies when we kiss or when he touches me! I get ...

A.   7 August 2008: It's hard to say with as little detail as you've provided. When was your first boyfriend? when did you date these other four boyfriends? What kind of an impact did they have on you? ... (read in full...)

Should I try to save my marriage?

Q.   I feel my marriage is over but I am too scared to leave. I have been married for 9 years and he was my first ever boyfriend! We just no longer seem to get on. He shows no love or affection although he always tells me he loves me, he never sh...

A.   4 August 2008: "...and thinks that he can shout one minute and then be best friends the next." This is generally a bad sign. It means either a) He's not communicating what's going on in his heart and is projecting his frustration onto you, b) he's bi-polar... (read in full...)

Is it normal to feel like you need to pee in the middle of sex even if you don't actually have to go?

Q.   is it normal to feel like you need to pee in the middle of sex even if you dont actually have to go?...

A.   4 August 2008: Yup - it's da norm. ... (read in full...)

Is it a good thing to have a man who loves you but does not always want you?

Q.   Question: Is it a good thing to have a man who loves you but does not always want you? I am a newly wed woman, married for just one year....

A.   4 August 2008: Define "want you." I think you need to define your situation a bit more before anyone can render a truly informed response. ... (read in full...)

Are our birth signs compatible?

Q.   I have been in a relationship with a scorpio guy for 5 months. I'm aquarian with scorpio rising. I'm in love with him and he told me he loves me also and asked me to marry him. Can it work out between us. Sometimes I don't understand him at all he ...

A.   4 August 2008: First, I'll suggest picking up a book called "How to Spot a Bastard by His Star Sign." In my years I've used Astrology and it does help, but you can't rely on it 100%. It's nice to know how to generalize how a person will react to certain ... (read in full...)

How can I lose weight from my legs but no where else?

Q.   Hey. Im a girl, Im almost 16, Im 5' 3" tall and I weigh about 8st 10lbs. Before this starts to sound like a lonely hearts advert (lol), Ill skip to the problem. Ok, so I don't feel fat really and people tell me Im not fat, but I hate the size of my ...

A.   30 July 2008: Walking, running, swimming, and doing light to moderate weight-lifting focusing on your legs will help, plus they're all good for the heart. Good luck!... (read in full...)

I can't figure out what this man wants from me.

Q.   I recently started "seeing" a man I used have feelings for. Now I can't figure out what he wants. He says he is looking for a serious relationship, but I'm afraid he's just spending time with me until he finds what he's looking for. When we are ...

A.   30 July 2008: Confront. Ask him what's up and what he wants. Every relationship should have properly defined boundaries. Maybe it's time you found out where yours are at with him? Good luck!... (read in full...)

My ex boyfriend, now married, tells me he has wanted a divorce for a long time. Should I just avoid him?

Q.   Let me start by telling a bit of the past. Many years ago, approximately 14 yrs ago I had this boyfriend and we were pretty serious and very close. We dated for almost a year and we broke up because my Mother demanded that we do so and would punish ...

A.   30 July 2008: Whoa there. Turn off the feelings. Nostalgia is great, but he's married with kids. He's either a) looking for an easy way out of his marriage, or b) looking for an easy way out of his marriage. There's an old expression "Play with fire, ex... (read in full...)

After a long term relationship, what's an acceptable "moving on" time period?

Q.   Just wondering what people's idea's are on an acceptable 'moving on' time period after a long term relationship ends. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years 6 weeks ago as I fell out of love with him and now I'm in another relationship already ...

A.   30 July 2008: It depends on the person, but I've heard it's normally 4-6 months of recovery for every year of the relationship. ...that's just what I heard though. ... (read in full...)

When I talk to a girl I like I get shy and freeze up. I don't understand why.

Q.   I have some confidnce on pretty girls cute popular i mean they like me but when im gonna try talk to the girl i like i get shy and stop talking.. i just dont get it ...

A.   30 July 2008: That's because you're not fully confident in yourself and you're placing too much emphasis on the "like" aspect of approaching these girls. You're worrying about "putting on a face" for these girls. This is easier said than done, but try just... (read in full...)

I'm 14 and find it hard to converse with my family. Can anyone help me out please?

Q.   im 14 and when i have to talk to my family i really dont no what to say. it ends up to be an awkard scilence whenever im in a room alone. well im going to my auntys for the day tomorrow and im scared that im gonna not know what to say. what shall i ...

A.   30 July 2008: Welcome to the world of being a teenager! This happens. It's normal. Everyone goes thorugh it. The best you can do is just be yourself. The only way you get through awkward silences is to just talk through them. Find things that you have in ... (read in full...)

What do I do about knowing my girl is lying to me?

Q.   hi, i already asked a question earlier and got some good responses thanks. im going to change my question as i have had time to think. me and my g/f of 9 years have never had it easy as regards to our relationship. she is a very dishonest perosn ...

A.   30 July 2008: You're locked in an acidic, abusive relationship from what it sounds like. I feel for ya. It's so bad that you feel co-dependant on it. I used to date a girl like that and, believe me, I'd been running for the hills if I saw that ever come my way ... (read in full...)

We are both young, but we want to get married, please give us your opinion on our situation?

Q.   i'm 21 years old and my fiance is 20 although alot of ppl think we are still to yong to get married we've thought about it and talked about it and have come to the conclution that we just can live without eachother and we want to get married. we ...

A.   30 July 2008: My thought is that you're both too young for marriage. If things are so right, then why not wait? Get engaged if you want the semblance of a sealed commitment. Set a date two years out. If things are still going good a year and a half from now, ... (read in full...)

Shall I respond to ex who doesn't want me back?

Q.   My ex g\f finished relationship about 4 months ago. She doesn't want be back but still likes to contact me every few weeks to say hi and how are you. Two weeks ago she wrote but i haven't replied because being in touch hurts me. Shall I just n...

A.   30 July 2008: "...i haven't replied because being in touch hurts me." Enough said. If you're not ready to talk to her, then don't. Equally, I don't believe that you should give her any false expectations by writing back to her right now. The period after a b... (read in full...)

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