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*appygirl agony aunt

*appygirl

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*appygirl's profile:

I love to help people.I give great advice for others but awful advice for myself.I've been through a lot and consider life a wonderful journey full of ups and down. I believe I am wise through my years of traveling and seeing the world.I would like to help out anyway that I can because I think that is the reason we are here. To help each other.

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Love triangles. I keep trying to do the 'right' thing but it keeps hurting more and more. What can I do?

Q.   First it's important to know that I have never had this occur before, never thought it even slightly possible, and hope it never happens again. I'm 35 and 3 years ago I moved workplaces. I was assigned a mentor, B, who was great in showing me the ...

A.   27 September 2011: I think you are upset with yourself for not doing the right thing by standing up for yourself. The truth is your boyfriend and best friend betrayed you and did the worse thing imaginable. They never owned up to it and turned it around to make you ... (read in full...)

How much is too much patience? He tells me to "please wait and be patient" but my patience has limits

Q.   So I met this guy two years ago but he was with someone else, so we lost touch, but then one day a year ago we started talking again. And I found out he was single. We started talking practically everyday and every night and things seemed to go very...

A.   27 September 2011: Action speaks louder than words. You should read the book "He's just not into you". It seems like he's keeping you around until someone better comes along. I say move on. Two years is enough. If he was into you nothing would stop him from you... (read in full...)

I want him to either realize that he loves me and be committed to me or I want him to leave me....

Q.   I don't know how to explain my situation. I'm madly in love(for over a year now) with a younger guy. We've been best friends and all and our relationship developed from there. We have sex, we kiss, we talk on the phone endlessly, but he doesn't ...

A.   25 August 2011: You have to be strong and leave him. He's having his cake and eating it too. Like any relationship, you have to put your foot down and draw the line on what it is that you want. If you want a committed relationship then get it. don't give yourself ... (read in full...)

Why does being a "Nice Guy" get me nowhere?

Q.   My virginity doesn't bother me that much, on most days at least, but I do feel a bit sad over the fact that I've never been in a relationship, NEVER. I'm 22 and nothing! I'm starting to feel that if I don't end up in relationship I'll never get ...

A.   22 August 2011: You don't have to change yourself. Be who you are, but you have to be aware of some of the things you might be doing wrong and change little things to get what you want. When you say a nice guy, I think of someone who is always saying yes, and givi... (read in full...)

Kicked BF out of my apartment for online cheating - did I over-react?

Q.   I kicked my boyfriend of 9 months out of my apartment after I found evidence he had been flirting with a girl online and even gone as far as to give her his phone number. He also invited her to come visit our town and he'd be a "tour guide". When ...

A.   14 August 2011: you did the right thing. Don't doubt yourself and don't let him come back.... (read in full...)

I am so hurt, why do I let him do this to me?

Q.   We've been seeing each other on and off for a few months. We've slept together but he still doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. He keeps coming in and out of my life. It had been a month and out of the blue he contacted me again. I'm ...

A.   17 July 2011: You need to cut contact with this guy because he is hurting you. You want a relationship with him but he straight out said he doesn't want one. The reason he coming back is to see if he could get sex from you. And if you are willing to give that to ... (read in full...)

I am so hurt, why do I let him do this to me?

Q.   We've been seeing each other on and off for a few months. We've slept together but he still doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. He keeps coming in and out of my life. It had been a month and out of the blue he contacted me again. I'm ...

A.   17 July 2011: You need to cut contact with this guy because he is hurting you. You want a relationship with him but he straight out said he doesn't want one. The reason he coming back is to see if he could get sex from you. And if you are willing to give that to ... (read in full...)

I am so hurt, why do I let him do this to me?

Q.   We've been seeing each other on and off for a few months. We've slept together but he still doesn't want to be in a relationship with me. He keeps coming in and out of my life. It had been a month and out of the blue he contacted me again. I'm ...

A.   17 July 2011: You need to cut contact with this guy because he is hurting you. You want a relationship with him but he straight out said he doesn't want one. The reason he coming back is to see if he could get sex from you. And if you are willing to give that to ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband insist he still loves me though he has left me?

Q.   My husband of 10 years left me suddenly without ever having told me he was unhappy. In fact, he always told me he was happy and even now says he still "loves me." I have no idea what he means by that. He initially was in love or lust with a woma...

A.   8 July 2011: Omg RedAthena, I just realize my ex husband was a narcissist too. After being together 13 years and raising one child together, he tells me that he does not love me and respect me anymore and walked out. He justified it by bringing out my flaws. (my ... (read in full...)

Should I follow my heart OR just settle?

Q.   Ok, Agony Aunts, I'm completely torn. 4 years ago, when I was 18, I met a guy online. It was casual, we were just friends at the time, but there was an obvious mutual attraction. We are in a very complicated situation because he is in the Coastal ...

A.   8 July 2011: I understand your predicament. Honestly, I feel you are thinking too much into this. You are only 22. You have your whole life ahead of you to discover. I've been in your shoes at your age, wondering who I should choose and be with ect. I wish ... (read in full...)

Is there any point to dating and relationships if you are infertile?

Q.   My partners ex, was fertile and had children for my partner. I am infertile and cannot have any children. My partner seems okay with this, but his mother told me that I should do the right thing and leave him, so he can have a family and be happy ...

A.   8 July 2011: Ignore everything that his mom's says to you because she is wrong wrong wrong. And selfish selfish selfish. 1st of all, she is not thinking about her son but thinking about herself. She's thinking she want's more grand kids and if he ends up with... (read in full...)

I feel completely guilty about something terrible that I did to a friend of mine. How can I make things right?

Q.   I am in my late 40s and married with almost adult children. I did something terribly wrong to a very good lady friend of mine about 20 odd years ago. She was a genuine friend and a well wisher and I sort of stabbed in her back with my selfish ...

A.   8 July 2011: I think the best way is to write her a letter and genuinely apologize for what you did. Ask if you could meet up and hope that she forgives you for what you did. If not, then it's time to let go and move on. 20 year is a long time ago,and ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband insist he still loves me though he has left me?

Q.   My husband of 10 years left me suddenly without ever having told me he was unhappy. In fact, he always told me he was happy and even now says he still "loves me." I have no idea what he means by that. He initially was in love or lust with a woma...

A.   8 July 2011: I understand your heartbreak and am sorry you are going through this. To answer your question, the heartbreak does end but it's takes years before you will feel normal again. As for your husband, sounds to me he is going through a mid life crisis a... (read in full...)

Korean girlfriend ends things just when I'm ready to tell her I'll go to Korea with her!

Q.   I met this Korean girl a little over a month ago. We started dating, everything was going great. After a couple of weeks she mentioned that she will have to return to Korea in October because her Visa will expire. I thought it over quite a bit...

A.   7 July 2011: what's the lesson Daniel?... (read in full...)

Korean girlfriend ends things just when I'm ready to tell her I'll go to Korea with her!

Q.   I met this Korean girl a little over a month ago. We started dating, everything was going great. After a couple of weeks she mentioned that she will have to return to Korea in October because her Visa will expire. I thought it over quite a bit...

A.   5 July 2011: it's kinda sad to me that this day and age, everybody is saying Goodbye permanently through text and leaving it at that. The romantic part (heart) in me, wants you to run to her with flowers and luggage in hand right before she boards the plane to ... (read in full...)

She told me she was pregnant and I felt my heart shatter into pieces!

Q.   I have badly fallen for my professor, (spare me the lecture, i've heard it all). I've liked my professor for 2 years, and felt a deep connection with her the first time I met her, she began teaching me and although I didn't think it was possible ...

A.   5 July 2011: Sometimes, things aren't meant to be, and in this case, you have to just accept that she's not the one for you. What you had with her is a massive crush. It feels like love and hurts like love, but it's not love because love is between two peop... (read in full...)

I lied to my boyfriend about getting raped and being pregnant and he wants me to help raise the baby!!!!

Q.   Okay, I'm 14. My boyfriend (who's 13) and I are really close, so we tell each other everything. One day, I saw him talking to his friend, who I SWEAR was hitting on him (she was touching him and everything)!! So I (obviously) got upset... I didn't ...

A.   24 December 2010: I know you are young. And young people can be immature, but this is something that you just don't lie about. You made a mistake and now you need to face the consequence. Tell him the truth, apologize, and if he breaks up with you, then you shou... (read in full...)

I am sleeping with my husband's best friend

Q.   I am sleeping with my husband's best friend. It started a year and a half ago. Every time we spend together is just amazing. He says all the right things and makes love to me in ways I cannot describe. Trouble is, I love my husband very muc...

A.   24 December 2010: You are being extremely selfish. Thinking about only your needs and not those around you. You have committed the ultimate betrayal and you don't even care. I feel so bad for your husband if he ever knew that his best friend AND his wife did this. ... (read in full...)

I had sex with my ex and I regret it so much!

Q.   I had sex with my ex bf 3 days ago and i felt extremely guilty for myself.I don't know what the hell am i doing after i left his house. Here is the story : Me and my ex went for a movie after 4 months of break up. He hug me,kiss me in the cinema...

A.   29 November 2010: You are feeling horrible because you lowered your standard and put yourself in a position to be used by this man. I can tell you still have feelings for this guy. And he knows is. He knows he has a hold on you and that is why he can't let you go. ... (read in full...)

I pressured him into leaving his wife for me and now I havent heard from him in 2 weeks!

Q.   i just broken up with my ex bf for 5yrs.then i met a man who made me happy.im at first we met on friendster and said he was single.he lied..he is married. We are madly in love with each other.he told me that he will divorce his wife. I pressured him ...

A.   29 November 2010: Why would you want to start your life with a man that lie and is married? One day you will be the married woman and he will do it to you. I believe you are heartbroken from your ex and this is a rebound relationship to help you forget. I don't ... (read in full...)

He cheated with his ex, and now we're both pregnant by him!

Q.   ok im 18 and ive been seeing this boy named ronnie for 7 months may11th to november 11th and i thought he was the one and him and his siter and her 4 kids live with his ex and i trust him so it wasent a big deal it woulod have been way better then ...

A.   28 November 2010: You should have left him the first time you found out he cheated. For you to take him back, you are telling him that you love him so much and you will put up with anything. Sometimes when we are in a relationship our head is clouded with what is ... (read in full...)

Did she use me for my money?

Q.   my gF of 6 years recently move out. said that she did not love me anymore and wanted to be on her own. a little back ground when we met she was my tenant and it grew it to a relatinship she came from an abusive relatinship and had 3 kids. she live...

A.   28 November 2010: Yup. You were played like a fiddle. The situation was perfect for her.She had a man who let her live rent free, and only had to see or sleep with him on weekends. How you did not figure this out for 6 years is beyond my comprehension. Or maybe you ... (read in full...)

Can things be mended? Is there still hope?

Q.   hi there.. where should i start...ok well i was with my ex-girlfriend for 1 and half years which is quite a long time considering she was my 1st real gf and i was her 1st real bf. everything was great and ran smoothly..the biggest problem in our r...

A.   28 November 2010: what you're going through, everyone has experience losing their first love. You don't know hurt until your husband of 13 years wake up and tell you that he does not love you and do not respect you anymore. After you worked to put him through school. ... (read in full...)

Can things be mended? Is there still hope?

Q.   hi there.. where should i start...ok well i was with my ex-girlfriend for 1 and half years which is quite a long time considering she was my 1st real gf and i was her 1st real bf. everything was great and ran smoothly..the biggest problem in our r...

A.   27 November 2010: Yes...definitely keep your plans of travel. I believe this will be very good for you. Spend the holiday like you would if you were a single man, because you are. If you ever run into her or her parents in the future, just be civil and polite like ... (read in full...)

Can things be mended? Is there still hope?

Q.   hi there.. where should i start...ok well i was with my ex-girlfriend for 1 and half years which is quite a long time considering she was my 1st real gf and i was her 1st real bf. everything was great and ran smoothly..the biggest problem in our r...

A.   27 November 2010: If she still had feelings for you, she would have broken up with that guy and get back with you. Don't believe what she says, look at what she does. And all her actions point to the directions that she's leading your on and using you. Probably keep ... (read in full...)

Can things be mended? Is there still hope?

Q.   hi there.. where should i start...ok well i was with my ex-girlfriend for 1 and half years which is quite a long time considering she was my 1st real gf and i was her 1st real bf. everything was great and ran smoothly..the biggest problem in our r...

A.   27 November 2010: that's definitely the wrong thing to do. You are basically begging on your knees just to have her in your life. I hate to tell you but after this, I don't know if she will respect you. Afterall, you know she had a boyfriend and you kissed. That... (read in full...)

Can things be mended? Is there still hope?

Q.   hi there.. where should i start...ok well i was with my ex-girlfriend for 1 and half years which is quite a long time considering she was my 1st real gf and i was her 1st real bf. everything was great and ran smoothly..the biggest problem in our r...

A.   26 November 2010: I understand what you are saying, but the truth is, what's done is done. We all wish we could go back in time and change things in our lives, but that is what life is about. You can't. The best you can do is learn from this. Also, you have to see ... (read in full...)

I want this to be our flat not his childrens

Q.   my boyfriend and i are moving into a one bed flat together soon - our first home together. he has three kids and has a family photo on his wall currently but i want one of me and him in our new flat. i don't get on with his children and want it to ...

A.   25 November 2010: you need to grow up. You can't date a single father and just expect to leave the kids behind. It's a package deal. Its sad that you can't find it in your heart to love his kids as your own. You are being selfish with his heart. The way he feels for ... (read in full...)

Just found out my wife is having an affair with an older man

Q.   I am lost and don't know what to do. I have been married for 7 years and just found out that my wife is having an afair with a man who is 30 years her senior. She blames me, she tells me that it's because we do not have sex as much as she would ...

A.   24 November 2010: You have two option. One is to forgive and work things out, and the other is to leave and start over. Option one: What your wife craves from you is passion. She is obviously getting this excitement from another man and I'm sure a part of her wish... (read in full...)

Does that count as cheating?

Q.   my girlfriend was texting a guy and met him and even text him immediately after pleasing her is this cheating...

A.   24 November 2010: what do you mean by pleasing her? Oral sex? Um,..yeah. If it's just simple text, then it has to be what is being said. They could be sexting and to me that counts as cheating too.... (read in full...)

Can things be mended? Is there still hope?

Q.   hi there.. where should i start...ok well i was with my ex-girlfriend for 1 and half years which is quite a long time considering she was my 1st real gf and i was her 1st real bf. everything was great and ran smoothly..the biggest problem in our r...

A.   24 November 2010: First, you need to calm down. I understand you are very angry at her for what she did. And in a way, you have every right to be. Moving on so quickly hurts because it disrespect the relationship that you had together. You did not properly heal and ... (read in full...)

I love her but we have very different opinions on important issues!

Q.   I have been dating a girl from a little over a month now. We connected extremely fast at the beginning and things were great for several weeks. As I got to know her, however, I found out things that I'm not sure if I can deal with on a long term ...

A.   24 November 2010: these are dealbreakers. Huge dealbreakers. So unless you can honestly live with these and change your mind. (Which I think you shouldn't because Kids are the most wonderful thing and God is Love) then I say move on and let her find someone who ... (read in full...)

Been together a year but he doesn't call me his girlfriend.

Q.   Is there any love after a year of knowing each other ?spend time together ? I really confused of my self if something wrong on me why the man i own as my boyfriend .. never claim me as his girlfriend or never say anything about ..our situation is ...

A.   24 November 2010: If you have to question it then he doesn't love you. When a man loves a woman, you will no doubt know it and never have to question it. I think you are wasting your time with this guy... (read in full...)

Stepfather vs. Daughter with mother caught in the middle!

Q.   My husband continues to nag at my 15 year old daughter. She is a slop and can be moody, but she is 15. When my daugther is not around, my husband and I get a long awesome...we never argue unless it is about her. She is a good kid (honor roll for ...

A.   24 November 2010: As a single mom myself, if I met a man who treated my daughter this way, I would kick him to the curb asap. How could you let this man treat your daughter this way. As a mother, it is YOUR JOB to protect your daughter. That comes first!!!... (read in full...)

He has a girlfriend, yet he sent me a picture of his member!

Q.   So, theres this guy i like. We met two years ago, and three weeks ago we started talking again. He said he was interested in me. He was having problems with this girl he was with for 10 months. They broke up and he wanted me to be his ...

A.   24 November 2010: if you go over to hang out with him, and have sex, just know that this is all he's looking for. Don't think for a second that he will dump his girlfriend for you. He is just a cheater looking for some fun on the side. For him to send a pic of his ... (read in full...)

Should I get mum and dad tattooed onto my inner wrist

Q.   should i get my mum and dads name tattooed onto my inner wrist okay i was thinking mum on my right wrist and dad on my left do you think this will look okay ? or do you think it would look better with mummy and daddy ?...

A.   24 November 2010: Don't do it.You will regret it big time when you are older. 1. How are you going to get a decent job someday. 2. everytime you reach out your hand to shake someone's hand, they will think you are a mamma's and papa's boy. You don't want that when... (read in full...)

What can I do to stay occupied while he's in jail?

Q.   My man went into jail today for 30 days. I have no clue what to do to keep my mind occupied. We did just start dating but we hit it off really well and we are really into each other. I am trying to think of things to do so i wont regret doing ...

A.   24 November 2010: why in the world are you waiting for a man who's in jail. You need to concentrate on yourself. Go back to school. Studying will do the trick.... (read in full...)

Does this mean deep down I am not happy in my new relationship?

Q.   Hi guys, some help would really be appreciated. I broke up with my boyfriend of 4 years back in October 2007. It was a very traumatic break up as he had moved abroad and started seeing someone else. He broke up with me by email. For a year my li...

A.   24 November 2010: You need to learn to let go. Let go of the past and only look forward. If you hold on to the past, you will miss out on your future. And your future might be brighter than the past but you'll never know cause you are too busy looking back. W... (read in full...)

Was what I did as bad as what she did?

Q.   Ok, So I am struggling with my emotions on this issue. So me and my girlfriend are both Christians and we have been dating in an exclusive committed relationship for 3 years. About about a 1 year ago or so I went to an Asian massage parlor and g...

A.   24 November 2010: you both should do yourself a favor and just end the relationship. Both of you cheated so it says there is definitely something that both of you ar missing from the relationship. The trust is gone. and no mottater how much you both try to "work it ... (read in full...)

I read his email, found out he cheated and now he says he doesn't trust me!

Q.   My boyfriend was away on course for 2 months in a different city. He was drinking a lot, very stressed and meet an old female friend he know 6 years ago on the course. When he arrived home, he very distance too me. My gut told me something happen .I ...

A.   24 November 2010: why would you tell him sorry when he was the one cheating on you? Two and a half years is nothing compared to the rest of your life with this person. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you deserve better than this. You are settling beca... (read in full...)

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