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*vyblue agony aunt


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*vyblue's profile:

What qualifies me to help people…? Well to be honest I don't really know. I consider myself to be a life long learner therefore far from knowing everything. I believe the "outsider looking in" kind of advice can sometimes be the best because it can be the most eye opening and honest response that you will find.

Where do I live…? I sometimes wish I lived in the land of LaLa but for the time being I live in the Land Down Under.

My family makes me tick. They are my motivation for most things that I do choose to do.

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Would women actually want a relationship with someone who already has a kid?

Q.   Call myself c and my daughters mother m. I'll try to keep things short. Our relationship was great before the child came and we even got engaged. I'm not great with women or people in general and I struggle just to hold a conversation to get a tip ...

A.   26 September 2018: Stop beating yourself up mate. Thats the first piece of advice i'd like to give you. Parenting is equally tough sometimes as it is rewarding. The terrible twos is a REAL thing and most of us who have gone through it think we have shit parenting ... (read in full...)

I’ve been bullied by my brother-in-law for 17 years! What is the best revenge?

Q.   I have a brother in law and for 17 years he has disliked me from the very moment he laid eyes on me. I am a very likeable and confident, and id like to say hot girl lol i am hilarious and fun love to tell stories and make people laugh i dont have ...

A.   22 September 2018: Personally I wouldn't be seeking any sort of revenge tactics because it says more about you than anything else. No satisfaction in people thinking your a vengeful bitch. I would confront him again but not with the goal of seeking some sort of ... (read in full...)

My husband has blocked me on his phone and adds, texts other women

Q.   Hi aunts I got my second marriage and I got trust issues now because my first marriage ended with betrayal and I am afraid this might turn up in same manner. I don't understand if all men do this. My husband is always checking his Facebook account...

A.   12 September 2018: "and if he ever does he will let me know what stupid stuff has he done" Bullshit he will and it just goes to show he cant self regulate or has no intention to stop his behaviours. Decent husbands don't text other women and blocking you so you can't ... (read in full...)

Why would my cheating wife try to contact me after 6 months of NC?

Q.   Well it's been almost 7 months since my cheating wife left me for her boss. Although she never admitted to an affair I have mountains of evidence proving otherwise. Long story short... I thought I had her blocked on everything. I have been ...

A.   31 August 2018:  Have to agree with the others, Milks turned sour I'd say. Unless you are considering reconciling does it matter why she has made contact? Personally I think you have done exceptionally well with staying strong with the no contact for 7 months. Its ... (read in full...)

I have caught my husband in so many lies regarding his female coworker. Is it wrong for me to ask him to stay away from her?

Q.   Hello, My husband has been lying to me for the past few months, all lies have involved his coworker. He has lied to me about calling her, dropping her off at home, going to hang out with her at her house, buying her gifts, including an exp...

A.   27 August 2018: Sound like he's having an affair, sexual who knows, but emotional for sure. Your husband is a liar full stop. Using your depression as the reason to cover his sorry arse is just deplorable. His and her behaviour is just making a fool out of you. How ... (read in full...)

I'm interested in a girl who has a boyfriend. Do I drop a hint that I'm single?

Q.   I split up with my long term partner because I wasn't sure how I felt and it didn't feel right anymore. I'm in no rush to get into a relationship again but there is a girl who I have an interest in. I think there is a connection between us as I'...

A.   26 August 2018: come on mate...really? Why try ruins some poor bastards relationship and try cut another mans lunch? Move on and find someone else who IS single. Your nothing but a predator with that kind of attitude AND if it were you...... (read in full...)

Do people change? He wants me to accept he has and wants to have another baby!

Q.   After years of my husband being very neglectful , toxic, drunkard and bullheaded.. i decided to stop caring and do my own other things.. Now that he has realized that i might leave the relationship...he says he agrees with me about everythi...

A.   21 August 2018: People can change but they can change back and usually do when they feel the fear of losing you is gone. "he wants me to accept that in a week and that we move on" -bull headed, no change in that line of thinking. Has he given you his reassura... (read in full...)

I’m sick to my stomach that he had a lap dance on a stag weekend!

Q.   My boyfriend recently went on a stag do to Prague and whilst he was there he went to a strip club and the whole group paid for a lap dance off of 2 dancers. Before he left for Prague, I told him that it would really upset me if he got a lap dance ...

A.   14 August 2018: I don't agree with discounting disrespecting a simple request as 'boys will be boys' but I don't think this is a deal breaker either. Not giving a shit knowing how you feel, giving in to peer pressure is a bit weak of him I think. ... (read in full...)

My fiance was looking at porn on his phone with my 9 year old sitting right next to him

Q.   Hi I was at work on Sunday my fiancé was at home looking after our 9 year old son I got up yesterday morning my son says to me while you were at work on Sunday my dad was looking at girls dresses all in leather on his phone while I was sat next to ...

A.   8 August 2018: Seriously, where is your mans head at? That is totally wrong. I'd go off my nut. Exposing children to porn and porn like material is an offence. ... (read in full...)

My partner is making me feel bad for not letting him live with me permanently. What should I do?

Q.   When I first met my partner, I explained in the first 3 months my views about living together before engagement. I explained that I have lived with an ex in the past and it didn't work, so therefore I want to wait until engagement before living ...

A.   16 June 2017: He is pressuring you in the same way he feels you are pressuring him. He to let him live there and you to be engaged in order to do so. If he is going to make a big hoo har for me it would have moved passed the moving in bit and more about resp... (read in full...)

Should his life choices be a dealbreaker?

Q.   I met a man at my job and we worked together a few months. I since have left the job because I got something better :) I never date co-workers but we did flirt a lot at the job. Only after I left did i agree to date him. He revealed to me a DUI he h...

A.   14 June 2017: If your head cant make a decision let your gut. I don't mean that to come across as rude. It kind of sets the scene if it's off to this kind of start. Not saying he is a bad guy by any means but finding someone more on the same page will be so much ... (read in full...)

I'm married and have fallen for a married friend. Do I pursue this?

Q.   I am 29 years old. Im maried in 2010 with 2 kids (3 and 5). I met my wife when i was 15 and have been with her ever since. I have never cheated on her or even talked to another woman inappropriately. But the other day we were hanging out with some ...

A.   13 June 2017: Her husband doesnt treat her very well. She says she loves him, but that they dont have any passion. They just go through the motions. LET HER SORT THAT OUT WITH HIM. She needs to fix that and not you her. Likewise sort out your own marriage before ... (read in full...)

My partner is falling for his ex and although I know I should end things I love him!

Q.   I've been in my relationship now for almost 6 years and engaged for 2 of those years. (No date for marriage due to both of us being at risk of redundancy) and over 5 years ago we had a problem with my partners work colleague. To give a little ba...

A.   13 June 2017: Agree. Time to rip the bandaid off and end it. This is going to be painful for you either way. Stay and you know you are in for a long haul of emotional and mental heartache. It's a given. You can sure as shit count on that given the type of person ... (read in full...)

I'm 20, she's 16. I'd like to hear people's thoughts

Q.   I am 20 years old and a girl that I like a lot is 16. We met each other and started talking after het parents gave my number to her. The really like me and we get along quite well. The only thing that is scary to me is the age difference, and I ...

A.   13 June 2017: I dont think the age gap is that big of a deal. how you choose to handle her being at the tender age of 16 is. My advice would be proceed carefully and thoughtfully. You have a fair amount of responsibility as far as being patient and not expecting ... (read in full...)

My husband has me earn lovers by performing painful or degrading acts with him

Q.   Hi I'm a bit lost and in need of help. I have been married for 20 years to a man I have always loved. He has always had strange sexual practices and I have always played along, I have always looked up to him and always felt that he was better t...

A.   9 June 2017: This is Fifty Shades of fucked up. Your lover putting things into your head sounds just like the wake up call you need. Just because you did these 'things' in the past does not mean you 'liked it' and now it's more like some form of emotional ... (read in full...)

What do I do? I feel I can't trust him anymore after what's happened.

Q.   Hi I've been in what I thought was a happy relationship for the past 3 and a half years. A couple of weeks ago I went on my Facebook and seen he had became friends with 2 women. I asked who they were and he denied he had added anyone. I had my s...

A.   7 June 2017: ahhh..Facebook strikes again. If you two were in a cafe and he just 'liked the profile' of some woman, would he just go up to her and start chatting away while you sat there? Of course not, that would make him a prick. So now he's a 'click prick' ... (read in full...)

Advice please? I'm 17, doing my A levels, and I really want to have a baby.

Q.   I'm only 17 but I am really wanting to have a baby. I've been with my amazing, supportive boyfriend for coming up to 2 years and he's everything to me. I'm currently having a really hard time at sixth form with my A levels, and have had to chan...

A.   7 June 2017: Go hire a sims baby. They are electronic babies that act like real ones. Cry at any hour of the day and night to be fed, changed or just like real babies-because they can. If you neglect them in any way it will record it. I have used them in the ... (read in full...)

My husband had an affair a couple of years ago. Should I write to the woman and ask some questions?

Q.   my husband had an affair a couple years ago, he says it is over but I have my doubts. She does not live near us anymore. I want to write her a letter and ask her if he has called her or written her a letter. If he has what has he told her, did he...

A.   7 June 2017: "Ask me no questions and I'll tell you no lies"- chances are thats what response you will get if you do get one at all. No care for you then, no care for you now. Don't do it to yourself would be my advice. If you think he has or still is in ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with the negativity of ''friends'' judging our relationship? My Bf and I are happy. But the comments of others are hurtful.

Q.   Hey, Now have been with the most amazing man for about 3 and a half years now and I couldn't been more happier. To us there is no issue whatsoever as we are still in love even though we're way past the honeymoon stage lol. I have plenty of fr...

A.   4 June 2017: I don't think you should ignore the comments at all. It's not what you say but how you say it. If they are your true friends, you standing up for your relationship firstly, not something you should feel the need to do in the first place and secondly ... (read in full...)

Living together is making me broke

Q.   My question is about sharing expenses as a couple. I've been with my girlfriend for over 3 years, and we enjoy each other's company. We've been living together for 5 months, which has resulted in my expenses more than doubling. We both work and we ...

A.   2 June 2017: Oh boy. This little miss needs a reality check. Time for her to grow up and put her big pants on. I mean, sharing is caring isn't it? Yes, it is . It means that she CARES enough about you just as much as she cares about herself. It would be a bit ... (read in full...)

I cheated and had a one night stand!

Q.   Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. She honestly is the love of my life and I am very happy with her and would do anything for her. Unfortunately, I made a terrible mistake a couple of nights ago , had way too many drinks (which I know ...

A.   24 May 2017: what would you want, if the shoe was on the other foot, HONESTLY?... (read in full...)

I'm 18 years older than him, I know its crazy but its so intoxicating!

Q.   I feel like I've completely lost my mind here, so maybe someone can give me some perspective. I'm a 38 year-old mother of one. I've been divorced for years. I've always thought of myself as a rational person until now. For reasons I cannot explain, ...

A.   21 May 2017: AHEM...jealous lol. He is an adult, you are an adult-enjoy! Just get the birth control happening. That much you know is being irresponsible.... (read in full...)

I cannot keep on ignoring him. He keeps on asking me to his, what should I do?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am only 14 but have a boyfriend I think he is super sweet and super cute but he is always asking me round to his. I always decline because I am too nervous because he seems to eager to move on with our relationship but all we have ...

A.   21 May 2017: You say 'Im not ready to go to second base yet' if thats not something you can handle then I think it is time we just stayed friends. Do let yourself be pressured into doing things you don't want. That not something a bf should feel ok doing if he ... (read in full...)

What do her words mean?

Q.   hello, I've been seeing this girl now for 6 months, but out of no where, she been acting moody and distant with me lately and I don't know why. So I confronted her about it and ask if I was us and she said yes. she went on to say "I don't know h...

A.   21 May 2017: Dont sit around waiting for her to decide your worth. I can tell you right here right now. You are worth more than be be considered a 'token' for her ego. Her 'regret' will be a lessoned learned and your freedom to find someone else to invest and ... (read in full...)

I feel used. Should I tell his Gf?

Q.   I had been speaking to this guy that I met online.. we had been flirting away and getting on super well. Time passed as he asked to meet which I agreed. However he didn't make it and I found out it was because he has a girlfriend. I've accepte...

A.   21 May 2017: No I dont think so. But next time he contacts you should tell him that you will if he continues to do so. Move on love, who wants a sneaky friend like that anyway?... (read in full...)

Will I ruin our friendship if I ask him out first?

Q.   A simple one really. A guy I like seems to exhibit all the signs of being into me - dilated pupils, unnecessary physical contact, teasing, lots of talking, grooming around me, etc. Just all that stuff. Yet he hasn't asked me out, and I haven't as...

A.   21 May 2017: Cool. My tip would be to ask him out casually. Something like " hey, fancy catching a movie on Saturday?" and see whee that takes you. I mean ,friends do ask friends out regardless of gender right. If he says no, or what ever just shrug it off with ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend's emotion letter to ex for closure has left me feeling second best

Q.   I'm in a confused relationship, my boyfriend of 3 years (were living together) send a closure to his ex-gf behind my back. She cheated on him with another guy 5 years before we got together. He already told me that he dated one girl after her before ...

A.   20 May 2017: How hurtful for you. I have to agree with with the others. You and he are not alone in this relationship at all. Physically yes but where it counts the most emotionally, no there is three of you. That is just not fair to you. I would suspect that ... (read in full...)

How do I know if my coach likes me and what do I do?

Q.   I think my coach likes me but i dont know? So basically ive known the lad for half a year its got to the point where i think he likes me.I was training and he turned up.when it came to a couple of months later,i started to notice he was ...

A.   15 May 2017: Sweetheart just how old is this 'man'? Because if he is anywhere over the age of 15 at the most you are in dangerous territory here. 18 + and this is in no way acceptable. Not just because of age but because of his role as a coach. put both of these ... (read in full...)

She's pushing but it seems too soon

Q.   Hi, I feel like my girlfriend is trying to inadvertently pressure me into proposing to her on her 21st birthday. Her b'day is at end of June and she has hinted so many times at me proposing eg. showing me ring a she likes and talking about it. ...

A.   14 May 2017: Losing her temper and sulking for your honesty is more brat like behaviour and rather silly. Look mate, my advice is stand strong and dont be emotionally manipulated into something you just dont feel you are ready. Marriage should be entered into ... (read in full...)

What can I do? My Gf of 5 years says she wants to have sex with another guy.

Q.   Okay so I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years. Recently I started noticing a big change in our sex life like she was losing interest. After a few months and started asking her what changed and all she would say was I don't know. After it e...

A.   11 May 2017: Sheesh..that stings. Personally I think you are in dangerous territory either way. For one thing though ,she's been honest. Thats one of the things I guess you are risking should you not allow her to indulge in this type of behaviour. Will it go on ... (read in full...)

I thought my fiance didn't love his ex wife but his old Facebook post seemed to imply otherwise

Q.   I am so disappointed please tell me if I'm over reacting. I found an old post from 6 years ago on my Fiancé face book on his marriage anniversary stating how lucky he was to have her and he hit a jackpot and hope this happiness never ends! I know ...

A.   20 April 2017: If she left a year later, then I think perhaps they were already in troubled waters. Maybe it was written in an attempt to try keep things together. People do and say weird things when they are faced with relationship breakdown, even when their ... (read in full...)

My husband pays far too much attention to his brother's chesty girlfriend

Q.   My husbands younger brother has this girlfriend she's quite pretty and has a large chest and everyone loves her and all the rest of it bla bla bla. My husband openly stares at her in front of everybody it's like he doesn't even try to hide it even ...

A.   20 April 2017: I'd have a quiet word to him such as " you so much as disrespect and belittle me or my body in front of people again and I shall do like wise about the size of your dick and lack lustre sexual performance" And your a (insert age) old man acting like ... (read in full...)

Do I call this married man?

Q.   I'm 23, and I am dating a married man, who is 35, for 8 weeks now. We haven't had sex yet, but we've been kissing, making out and stuff. However, he used to call me whenever he was free. But now, all he says after making out is "Call me!" Last time, ...

A.   20 April 2017: And him going all cold on me makes me feel like I am a slut. honey...your messing around with a married man-get real ... (read in full...)

My husband and his co-worker have feelings for each other. What should I do?

Q.   Let me start from the beginning if I may. About 2 weeks ago my husband said one of his supervisors at the factory where he works 3rd shift came up to him while he was loading a truck and harassed him about being too close to a girl who has a bad re...

A.   14 April 2017: You kick his sorry arse out before you lose your sanity as well as dignity. This affair will not stop. its evident in his attitude to suggest a three way marriage. You mamsy- pamsying around with this silly wretch of a pair make you weak and easily ... (read in full...)

Trying to avoid attending a work function. What are some good excuses I could use?

Q.   I've been asked to go to a work meeting that I really want to avoid. The meeting is a 3 hour train ride from where I live so I would have to leave very early and get home late. I don't have any children or pets that I can use as an excuse. Are ther...

A.   12 April 2017: meeting or social gathering? Social: " unfortunately, this time I am going to have to politely decline, however I do really appreciate the invite. next time perhaps" and walk away so not to engage in the 'why not?" Work meeting: " Is it... (read in full...)

My Gf is 14 and I'm 17. Once I turn 18 and she turns 15 will it still be ok to date her? Can't find an answer anywhere

Q.   Hello, I am currently in a relationship with an absolutely amazing girl for 4 months and we are going to the same school, and we live in Washington state but at the end of this school year she has to move to the other side of this same state but I ...

A.   12 April 2017:  I assume your talking sex right? Ask the police/legal what the deal is with the laws in your state. 3 years is not a big age difference in general but once you are legally an adult and she is still a minor then the law is the law and jail time is ... (read in full...)

I'm caught in the middle of my mom and my dad's girlfriend and really don't know how to handle things

Q.   Hi Dear cupid helpers. I am in need of some advice on a family situation... So my dad had an affair on my mum 4 - 5 years ago (the last one of a few in the past) I mum turned to drinking, and has been drinking for the last 4 - 5 years and has...

A.   27 March 2017: Sweetheart I'm really sorry that you are in this situation. Neither you mum, dad or his girlfriend are being fair to you. Whatever the reason, this is their mess to clean up. Sucking you into an emotional Bermuda Triangle is not how adults and ... (read in full...)

She says she wants to be friends with me but wants to take a year off to focus on her new relationship!

Q.   Hi, I was sort of dating this girl. We flirted, talked every day, I emailed her cute things, amde her things, she sent me a nice care package, etc. but then realized things were not right. We decided since we shared so much, I asked her if we could...

A.   24 March 2017: I have to agree with wise owl. This is her way of saying thanks but no thanks. Respect her wishes,move forward and don't look back otherwise you might miss what may lie ahead of you. ... (read in full...)

Is it wrong for for teenage son to just wear boxers around the house after school?

Q.   Is it wrong for for teenage son to just wear boxers around the house after school? This started happening a few months back and while it is not the end of the world it just seems out of the norm. He will change if we have visitors other then fami...

A.   12 March 2017: Ive never thought about it really, my son walks around in both boxers and jocks, so I guess in our home it is normal. ... (read in full...)

My very ill father living in bad conditions but refuses our help

Q.   I feel like I have nowhere else to get advice on this one. My mom passed on in 2015 survived by 8 kids So far and our dad. Since then, our family has fallen apart. Firstly, my dad is ill with prostate cancer and despite two operations now, he is no...

A.   12 March 2017: Is it at all possible for you to move in, for a while at least? Some times people do want help they just dont know how to ask or feel like doing so makes them a burden. Deep down he may want help. I'm not at all familiar with the health system in ... (read in full...)

My very ill father living in bad conditions but refuses our help

Q.   I feel like I have nowhere else to get advice on this one. My mom passed on in 2015 survived by 8 kids So far and our dad. Since then, our family has fallen apart. Firstly, my dad is ill with prostate cancer and despite two operations now, he is no...

A.   12 March 2017: Is it at all possible for you to move in, for a while at least? ... (read in full...)

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