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I am on here to listen to your problems, guide you and give you my advice. Some may like what I say, and some may not, but I am not here to make friends. I am simply here because I care about people who need some help with life.

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How to overcome the guilt of dating my friend's ex

Q.   Dear Cupids I met this wonderful man. We have been dating for less than two months but our relationship is moving quite fast. It feels so right and ever-since we dated we have not spent a day without talking to each other. He calls and we mee...

A.   17 November 2017: I think you need to take this one step at a time. You are talking about marriage but it is early days. If your friend is okay with things and it has not changed the friendship then take her word for it. I get why you feel bad and I would as well but ... (read in full...)

Mr Nice Guy is perfect for me but why do I feel something is missing?

Q.   I have a history of dating unavailable, cheating, lying, game playing men. In fact when I look back I've only ever had one healthy relationship that I ended up pushing away with my own actions. This guy is amazing! I am insanely attracted to him...

A.   17 November 2017: I think you should take a chance with this guy, I mean come on what is the worst that could happen? Six months down the line and you feel bored with him then you can look back and say well you gave it your all you tried but you are not for each ... (read in full...)

How to deal with a more sexually experienced partner?

Q.   I'm a male virgin who's never kissed a girl or been on a date. I'm not particularly handsome either and I am obese. I will be visiting an escort in a few weeks to lose my virginity. Finally I'll get to feel what intimacy is like. However I've b...

A.   17 November 2017: Believe me visiting an escort will not teach you anything about intimacy, because all she will be doing is her job for a price tag. If being obese is making you uncomfortable then why not change that? Get more active and eat more healthy, am sure ... (read in full...)

Does this guy who works with the man I'm sleeping with like me?

Q.   Hello, I'm going to make this question as quick as possible haha! About 8 months ago, I got involved with my boss. He has just quit the company the day we slept together, so technically he wasn't my boss anymore that night, but you get t...

A.   17 November 2017: If you are not interested in the new guy then just let him down gently. If you are wanting to start dating then you should stop having sex with the boss. I mean I don't think it would matter if you went on a date and the boss found out anyway ... (read in full...)

What is he doing? His last text said he still wants me but that was November third!

Q.   hi i am seeing a man, don't what sort of relationship it is but hes not text me in 2 weeks and not seen me in 2 months now, i did text him 2 weeks ago asking whats going on my text to him was " how are you ive not heard off you in weeks how can yo...

A.   17 November 2017: Even if he was in hospital he still could have sent you a message. Sorry OP but I don't buy his crap at all. He sounds like he is stringing you along. Block him from being able to contact you and move on and be with someone who makes the effort. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has hooked up with his best friend?

Q.   I've been dating this guy, and we are crazy about each other. The only thing I'm a little uncomfortable with is the fact that his best friend is someone he's had strong feelings for and hooked up with in the past. plot twist: she is a lesbian. I ...

A.   17 November 2017: Your boyfriend obviously has more romantic feelings towards her than she does for him. She is attracted to other females and well for whatever reason your boyfriend has decided to keep her in his life as a friend. I know personally I would feel ... (read in full...)

What did you do when you found your partner was watching porn and not having sex with you?

Q.   Hiya I've been with my fiance for 4 years we have a 2 year old daughter together last weekend I caught him watching porn on his phone it wouldn't have bothered me so much but the last few months our sex life has been once a month so I was hurt when ...

A.   17 November 2017: The best thing to do here is to communicate with each other. Talk to him and tell him how this has made you feel, but also sit and listen to him and ask him how he feels. It might just be the fact that communication has broke down so remember to ... (read in full...)

Help me find my way out of these abusive traps

Q.   I am in a 16-year-relationship that became sexless and violent, abusive. I was thrown out the house in middle of night. I left and he wants me back. While away I met another man who I fell in love with and been seeing for a year this man seems quite ...

A.   16 November 2017: If you are to scared to live alone the what is going to happen is you are going to settle for a man who treats you wrong and try your best and be happy with abuse and control. I know I would be much happier on my own than living this kind off life, ... (read in full...)

I've worshipped this girl since I was 16! Do I tell her?

Q.   Basically, I've reconnected with a girl I had a relationship with in school. I was 16, she was 15 and we went out for about a year. She was my first love and in the end we mutually broke up for a number of reasons but it was not on bad or bitter ...

A.   15 November 2017: Sounds like things are going well and you both seem to be on the right path.... (read in full...)

If we could be friends should I try?

Q.   Should I keep speaking to him, and try and be friends? I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 2 weeks ago and it's killing me. We broke it off about 2 months ago, then briefly got back together before we realised nothing had changed. We'...

A.   15 November 2017: Hi Sweetie, believe me when I say it is not possible to be just friends with someone when you still have feelings for them. I know it is difficult at the moment and it hurts but distance is the only thing that will help you get over this ... (read in full...)

Now he's gone I really miss him

Q.   Hello, I was involved with a guy for a few months, but we were never in a relationship,,just took it casual.. but few weeks ago he went studying abroad. We didn't promise anything, because it's far,so we said goodbye. After he left, we've been ...

A.   15 November 2017: It sounds to me like you both where casual. He knew he was going away so he simply enjoyed his time he had with you. To me it doesn't sound like a good idea telling him you miss him because he is so far away and I doubt a long distant relationship ... (read in full...)

Help me sort out my feelings

Q.   Hi, I'm not sure where to start really. I've been in a relationship for 4 years. Basically I felt that he couldn't commit to me. He never asked me to move in or when we'd talk about it he'd come up with so many excuses, he had issues showing h...

A.   15 November 2017: The best thing that you can do is cut your ex off. Yes he loved you, and am sure that you loved him. But it is in the past. Off course you are both going to still have feelings but you need to accept that the relationship didn't work out. You felt ... (read in full...)

Does she really love me like I love her?

Q.   I just recently found out that my wife, I'm a lesbian, only watches straight porn. I'm questioning a lot now, not so much about how I feel about her but if I could ever truly make her happy or if I have ever truly satisfied her. She's brought it u...

A.   15 November 2017: You need to talk to your wife about this. Only she can help with your worries. You mention that she has been with men before so it could be a case that she is bisexual. Either way just because she watches straight porn does not mean she wants to be ... (read in full...)

How can I explain to parents?

Q.   Hi all :) I’ll share a little details about myself and family before diving into my question. I’m 18 turning 19 soon and just started university and my parents are quite what our generation would say a little “old-fashioned”? I come from a Chinese ...

A.   15 November 2017: They are your parents and they love you, but there really is no explaining to do. You are an adult now and you have to make up your own mind. Just be honest with your parents but be firm and tell them that they need to trust you to make your own ... (read in full...)

Should I be the first to call like always, or should I let her reach out this time?

Q.   I have been in a seven-year relationship with my girlfriend/ex-girlfriend (I'm not sure which is accurate at this point). We have always struggled with how we resolve conflict. We've been through the break-up-make-up cycle many times. Each time ...

A.   15 November 2017: OP if things are over between you both then she needs to realize she cannot just call you when she needs help with something. You have been together a long time, but now you both need some freedom and space to get over the breakdown off the ... (read in full...)

Would it be lame to send him a thank you card for the interview experience?

Q.   Ok lame idea or not? I posted before about the fact I completed my masters degree in creative writing recently, and I choked whilst writing my final project. As I suspected, my grade for that project was terrible and while I still passed, I’ve bee...

A.   15 November 2017: It is so nice to see that they have brought the life back in to you and you have regained your passion. You really should send a thank you card. It is not lame at all. In fact any person would like to hear thanks and that they reignited your passion ... (read in full...)

How do I tell potential dates that I do not engage in sex outside marriage vows?

Q.   Hi I am going to start online dating . I don’t want to have sex before marriage . I am not virgin I was married before. Mostly folks respect your decision ( not sex before marriage) if you are virgin . If you are not virgin they don’t respect ...

A.   15 November 2017: Just be honest and write on your profile that you are looking for marriage and that you don't believe in sex before marriage. It really is as simple as that. If you are honest it will stop a lot off time wasters.... (read in full...)

Mum kept hitting me with a shoe

Q.   I can't talk to my mum and I think she's being abusive. So this is the thing right. My mum just loses it all the time. It's like there's a war going on in my house. It always happens when I come home from school. We just yell at each other. She ...

A.   15 November 2017: It seems that you both know what buttons to push with each other. Now what your mother done was wrong, but it sounds like you pushed her to her limits. Have you spoke to her since? You need to learn to respect your mother and help with the chores ... (read in full...)

I love someone more than my boyfriend. And I cheated on him with the other person.

Q.   So i recently cheated on my boyfriend. This is actually quite a long story but I’ll try to sum it up as much as possible. Early this summer I started talking to this guy, let’s call him James, we’ll james and I hit it off. He was perfect beyond ...

A.   15 November 2017: Yes break up with your boyfriend. It is never okay to cheat on someone. It could ruin someone as a person and they could live the rest off their lives with no confidence and no trust. It doesn't make you a bad person that you don't feel guilty, but ... (read in full...)

Led into a fantasy and I like it

Q.   The other night after having sex my girlfriend told me she wanted to do it again but that this time I could do whatever I wanted to her and she would let me. She said she would be my whore for the rest of the night. When we started up again she...

A.   14 November 2017: You have got given some really great advice already, I cannot really add to it only to say never use the word rape. That should never be used as a fantasy. NEVER.... (read in full...)

Walked into an awkward love triangle

Q.   Hi, for the last 6 months or so I have liked one of the men (call him Tim) from my workplace. He is one of quite a few men and women that are in our lunch group and we all go out for drinks and things like that fairly often. He has been in a co...

A.   14 November 2017: Well to be fair you and him did not work out, and well if he did not want to he would not have kissed Mary. Also was Sally not one off your friends? So surely you already broke that friend code? Sorry but he is not a toy and he told you he was not ... (read in full...)

Mixed up by his communication

Q.   I was dating this guy a while back. It's kind of a long story and I guess I just want some opinions on his actions or reasons why. I had moved to the city for some short term work. We had met at a bar but nothing really went further than tha...

A.   14 November 2017: You know what it sounds to me like he was confused and did not know what he wanted. He obviously was not ready to move on and date another women when he was comparing you both and well he probably wanted to look in and see how you felt also. He ... (read in full...)

My housemate keeps having sex in our shared spaces and I don't like it.

Q.   My housemate keeps having sex/foreplay with her boyfriend in our shared living spaces, like the living room etc. She tells me and laughs about it, but I actually find it so disrespectful and it makes me quite angry how she disregards my comfort ...

A.   14 November 2017: Off course you are not being a prude. After reading your update I felt a little sick! Honestly she has no respect or manners for other people, neither does he! They both sound very immature. Speak to your other housemates and let them know what is ... (read in full...)

Difficulty with old and new loyalties

Q.   Hi. I will try to make this brief but there is a lot going on in my life at the moment. I have been separated 6 years now coming to the end of a divorce although we are amicable my spouse wants still to be friends. We both have new partners alt...

A.   14 November 2017: You sound like a good guy who just wants to keep everyone happy, but I have to agree with your partner here. Nobody wants an ex spouse hanging around. How would you feel if the tables where turned and your partner was good friends with their ex ... (read in full...)

Will we be able to get back together in the future?

Q.   My ex and I broke up six weeks ago after living together for two years, and being together for three. He's a classical musician and is applying for jobs in other cities - there are a very limited number of jobs in full time orchestras in the ...

A.   14 November 2017: None off you where prepared to compromise for your relationship so for me that says something. I mean I would uproot my whole life in the morning if I had to so I wouldn't loose my husband and I know he would do the same for me. That is what you ... (read in full...)

How do I react on my actress girlfriend intimate scenes on screen or on stage ?

Q.   My girlfriend is an Actor she has not yet done any intimate or kissing scene but i am very uncomfortable with that. i have read many articles on this but i really dont know how to over come this situation, she says she doesnt mind kissing on scree...

A.   14 November 2017: Maybe you shouldn't be dating an actress if you are not completely comfortable with this. I get where you are coming from, I would be the same, but that is why I would never start dating someone in this kind off business because it wouldn't be the ... (read in full...)

I'm torn between the re-appeared ghosting ex and the lovely but dependent new love interest! Which one do I choose?

Q.   I am going through a very tough situation and which is kind of a Love triangle. I've been in a relationship with a girl for about 1 year and I loved her so much . but 6 months back she ditched me for some reason. Everyday we used to go through a lot ...

A.   14 November 2017: You and your ex had your chance and it did not work out, the past is best left in the past. She may have left you, but if you where arguing and not getting along together then that is not a great relationship to be in. My best advice would be to ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend

Q.   I'm afraid to have sex with my boyfriend... I've been seen this guy for 3 months now and things are moving forward. However, every time we start getting intimate, I freak out and stop all interactions. I'm a virgin and this is the first pro...

A.   14 November 2017: It does sound like your anxiety is caused by not knowing what to expect and well that is completely normal. However are you sure that you are wanting to be intimate with your boyfriend? Are you sure there is sexual chemistry between you both and you ... (read in full...)

I'm sorry I took her back ... should I end it?

Q.   SHould i end wid her? she and i came in relation even if she had a boyfriend back then. i somehow convinced her to come in relation. cuz i loved her. but she was kinda confused between him and me. been in relation for 2 months. i had to leave the...

A.   14 November 2017: Yes I think you are doing the right thing ending it with her. She hurt you and that is probably why you don't love her like you used to. Although you where both in the wrong, as you knew she was in a relationship and tried to convince her to be with ... (read in full...)

Did I overreact to a situation? Some co-workers say I did and now I feel uncomfortable

Q.   Hey guys this is not a romance question But I just need an opinion as to wether I'm being silly or not Ok there was a work leaving drink a few weeks ago At the drink was a guy ive never seen eye to eye to at work My friend who I was with h...

A.   14 November 2017: To me it sounds like your co-worker had a few drinks and thought she would be a good friend. Had you mentioned to this friend before that this guy was being weird or did she just see it for herself? Either way I can see why it may have annoyed you, ... (read in full...)

Now he seems interested in finally setting a date I don't want to marry him.

Q.   Hello, new to the site. hoping for some help. I 39 years old and my bf is 46, we have been together for almost 3 years and engaged for 2 of those. When we got engaged i was so happy that i would be planning my wedding, but every time i mentioned ...

A.   14 November 2017: Maybe you should try couples therapy before going ahead with any marriage. I mean there is a lot off things that my husband does that annoys and aggravates me but that is normal when it comes to living with someone, I still never had any doubts ... (read in full...)

He wants to finger me but we don't want to have sex

Q.   Hey am just 20 and my boyfriend wants to finger me... But we don't want to have sex... Is it OK... Or possible.. ...

A.   14 November 2017: The mere fact that it is your boyfriend that wants to do it and you are asking is it okay tells me that this is a bad idea. Are you sure you are ready to take your relationship to the next level? If you need to ask if this is okay it sounds like you ... (read in full...)

Its a year of no contact with married man, I suspect his friends are contacting me on facebook.

Q.   Hello everyone. Thank you for taking the time to read my question. It's a messed up situation but I've been coming here off and on over the situation for a few years now. Several years ago and crush turned into a long term affair with a married ...

A.   14 November 2017: Don't go back there, you don't want to go through that hurt and guilt again. Any person that tries to contact you or add you on social media, don't respond if they are a stranger, that is what I would do anyway, there are lots off strange characters ... (read in full...)

My best friend is faking he is straight even though we had sex.

Q.   I'm a bi man and in the last year I've had intimate moments with my best friend, for whom I have always had doubts regarding his orientation. It's true that we have both enjoyed it but recently he seems to distance himself from situations where ...

A.   14 November 2017: It seems that you have three choices here: 1. Keep his friendship but say good bye to all the intimate stuff and be strictly friends. The only down side to this option is it can be hurtful if you have stronger feelings for him. 2. Carry on the w... (read in full...)

I don't know if I have feelings for him. I don't know if he likes me?

Q.   i've known this guy for close to 2 years (he's 2 years older than me), i knew him through my primary school's alumni association and i think i like him... i'm not 100% sure of my feelings for him. recently i told my best friends that i like him but ...

A.   14 November 2017: Did you write this same question a couple off days ago in the age 13-15 bracket? If it was you then my advice will still stand at your age two years is a huge gap and it does sound like you and him are simply just friends. He could get in trouble ... (read in full...)

How can a wife cheat for 3 years and act like everything is ok?

Q.   After I found out that my wife was having a three year affair with another man, I gave her an ultimatum and she ended it....she eventually told me that she made a big mistake, and didnt know what she was thinking the past three years...I found out ...

A.   14 November 2017: Only she has the true answers for you OP, but am guessing she will keep lying to you. She would still be cheating on you if she was not caught, which makes me wonder why on earth would you still want to be married to a woman like this? I mean I get ... (read in full...)

New Relationship Reflection, Age Gap and Polyamory

Q.   I have been recently seeing a man that is 10 years older than me, I am 21, he is 31. Saw him at the bar and asked for his number, had a date, was pretty nervous but ended well with us making out and finding out we were really physically compatible. ...

A.   14 November 2017: You feel you are mature for your age and perhaps you are but I fear that you are going to get deeper feelings for this guy than you want to admit and you will end up heart broken. If you really think you are strong enough to share him with other ... (read in full...)

I've developed feelings for this guy who is 2 years older!

Q.   i met this guy 2 years ago and i developed feelings for him since we met to do projects quite often. he is 2 years older than me so he was always mentoring me. like i said, i developed feelings for him but recently i don't feel anything for him. he ...

A.   13 November 2017: Hi OP, Look you mention that your feelings have changed therefore I would suggest listening to yourself and going with how you feel. It does sound like he is friendly but there is nothing in your post that suggests he likes you any more as a frie... (read in full...)

I'm growing uncomfortable with his questions! Should I go meet him for coffee?

Q.   Dear Cupid, I met a 41 year old guy who describes himself as sophisticated, also wants a sophisticated lady, online.He writes he is ready for a new relationship. He writes he has never been married, has no children and lives alone. He has a ...

A.   13 November 2017: Hi OP follow your gut instinct and don't meet up with him. Talking to you like this after four days really is a big huge red flag. I know if this was me personally I would not meet up with him I would feel to uncomfortable. I had the same experience ... (read in full...)

I am the mother of five young girls and just found my boyfriend looking at teen girl porn

Q.   My boyfriend is looking teen porn almost every day. He promised me a couple months ago to never do it again when I found stuff that looked WAY too young and wrong. I about had a break down because I have 5 girls almost ready to be teenagers. How is ...

A.   13 November 2017: I still think you have done the right thing. It seems very odd to me that he would go out with someone so much older than him yet look at porn off barely teenagers. Something doesn't add up. I think you are best off without him. It might be best ... (read in full...)

I am the mother of five young girls and just found my boyfriend looking at teen girl porn

Q.   My boyfriend is looking teen porn almost every day. He promised me a couple months ago to never do it again when I found stuff that looked WAY too young and wrong. I about had a break down because I have 5 girls almost ready to be teenagers. How is ...

A.   9 November 2017: Personally if someone wants to watch porn to me that is there choice, but if it is under 18s then that would be a big no no for me, who wants to watch kids having sex? Honestly I would put my children first and let him go. ... (read in full...)

I've worshipped this girl since I was 16! Do I tell her?

Q.   Basically, I've reconnected with a girl I had a relationship with in school. I was 16, she was 15 and we went out for about a year. She was my first love and in the end we mutually broke up for a number of reasons but it was not on bad or bitter ...

A.   9 November 2017: You answered your own question here, you need to know how she feels! Therefore you need to ask her. She is not your friend, you have went way passed the friendship line and there is no going back now. It is clear you are head over heels for this ... (read in full...)

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