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*unt honesty agony aunt

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I am on here to listen to your problems, guide you and give you my advice. Some may like what I say, and some may not, but I am not here to make friends. I am simply here because I care about people who need some help with life.

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Haven't heard from my friend after I rebuffed his advances. What should I do?

Q.   A friend came over we went to my room sat on the bed we talked them he touched me I moved his hands. Shortly after he left. Haven't heard him after that. He only sent me moving greetings via whatsapp. Should I try to contact him or walk away?...

A.   25 May 2017: What do you want with this man? My guess is he got the signals wrong when you led him to your bedroom?!... (read in full...)

How can I erase this mental abuse?

Q.   How can stop measuring my value by a man- since being young my parents and grand parents have lived a life according to what society thinks is right. My mom married my dad and stayed in a physically abusive relationship only because she didn't like ...

A.   25 May 2017: You blame your parents, but where did they get it from? Your grandparents? You know lots off people live like this, but you cannot keep going on saying its your parents fault. You are an adult now so take responsibility. Book yourself in to CBT ... (read in full...)

I cheated and had a one night stand!

Q.   Hi, I have been with my girlfriend for 3 years. She honestly is the love of my life and I am very happy with her and would do anything for her. Unfortunately, I made a terrible mistake a couple of nights ago , had way too many drinks (which I know ...

A.   25 May 2017: She deserves to know the truth. If you want to spend the rest off your relationship built on lies and cheating then so be it, but personally it would eat me up inside. I would need to be honest. The thing is I could and would never do that to me ... (read in full...)

He said he needed time away from me but still texts every day.

Q.   So my boyfriend of a year and a half told me last week out of the blue that he needs time away from me. At first I thought he was joking and I said are you casually trying to break up with me and he said no that he stressed and that I've been mean ...

A.   25 May 2017: He needs to start communicating better with you. Honestly the best thing you can do is send him a message with a time and date and tell him that you both need to talk. Meet up with him and tell him you need to know where you stand. It is not fair ... (read in full...)

I am troubled and feel so down.

Q.   Just looking for advice. I'm 33 and separated from my husband due to domestic violence we separated in December having only been married 3 months. I wasn't happy for a long time and only married as we have 2 kids one is 2 1/2 and the other is 15 ...

A.   25 May 2017: Well you got with your husband when he had two children so what is the difference between this man and you? Or could it be the fact that because you struggled with your husbands children that you feel your boyfriend will struggle with yours? L... (read in full...)

How can I cope with my sexual frustration? Masturbating seems my only option. How can I feel better about myself?

Q.   I'm 26yrs old and have accomplished nothing. I failed college, don't have a job, and I am a virgin. I feel that I am a hopeless disgrace with no future or anything of value. My problem is that I am sexually frustrated but feel like I have noth...

A.   25 May 2017: It sounds to me like you are depressed. You need to seek medical help and never call yourself trash. go and speak to your doctor.... (read in full...)

We are newly weds. Should I confront him over this? He's been watching porn, alone, when I've been at work

Q.   Hi I am 61 years old my husband is the same age. He has trouble keeping an erection but he tries he says it's do to his blood pressure. We have only been marriedx for 7 months now i know he likes porno. I have watched it with him What bothers m...

A.   25 May 2017: It is okay to talk to him about it, but don't be mad because he hasn't actually done anything wrong. He has watched some porn not went out and had an affair. I can understand why you would be frustrated if you have no sex life. If he is having ... (read in full...)

Do I date him or not? My mother says NO to dating him. My friend says Yes, or she'll not be my friend.

Q.   So this guy likes me and i sorta like him back but people tell him not to date him but my best friend says if i dont she wont be my friend and people that said no because they wont let me date him and my mum says i should say no what should i do?...

A.   25 May 2017: I would listen to your mum. Your friend is trying to black mail you, which means she is not a true friend, and she is someone who doesn't care about how you feel. You would be much better without this friend in your life. ... (read in full...)

Do you think our relationship go anywhere?

Q.   I have been talking to this guy for nearly 4 months who I met online. We are from different states, would be a 10 hour drive there. Originally, I was only talking with him for something to do, casual flirting here and there, nothing serious. He ...

A.   25 May 2017: Sweetie honestly you cannot have a connection with someone until you have spent time with them face to face. Anybody can tell you anything over a computer or phone screen. But you will never know each other truly until you are able to spend time ... (read in full...)

Despite out 6 year age difference, do you think this relationship could work out well for us ?

Q.   Hello. I'd like to get some advice, as I've never been in a similar situation before. I've met a really good, caring and beautiful girl, and in short, we talked a bit, she told me she liked me since the last year, and later on, we kissed a few ...

A.   24 May 2017: It could work. But first I don't think you should get to know her child until you both are dating for a while. You don't know if it will work out or not so your best not getting the child involved to soon. ... (read in full...)

I'm getting no empathy or support from my family.

Q.   Hi I'm not really sure where to start with this one or how to word it without coming across like I'm playing the victim so il just say how it is best I can. Basically I am in my 30s with three children. 11,13 and 10 weeks. My newest addition was a ...

A.   24 May 2017: Go to citizens advice surely they can help you. I am from Ireland and their is help out there just don't give up. Speak to a solicitor you should qualify for legal aid where you don't have to pay to get maintenance from your ex. As for your fami... (read in full...)

Was he drunk or did he experience memory loss?

Q.   hi, i am 43 years old and been on my own for 17.5 years, my ex left me when my daughter was five months old and i have remained single. i have met someone i really like and we have seen each other a few times. last night he came to see me and sa...

A.   24 May 2017: Okay well if he is the liar you say he is then just end things.... (read in full...)

She's broken up with her boyfriend, is it too early to ask her out?

Q.   Hey there everyone! Hope you all are well! I'd like some advice of you could. So I'm a 30/male this girl I need advice about is 25 I believe. She moved in to the apartment next door to me about 6 months ago. I instantly thought she was one of the ...

A.   23 May 2017: Be there for her, and sure you can flirt and be friendly. But don't come on to strong. She is only just single so she probably needs some time to adjust. ... (read in full...)

I'm trying hard for us to be intimate but he is just not interested and won't give a straight answer as to why!

Q.   Hello all! I was hoping I could get some other input with my problem. I don't really need to get into the past cause that's what it is. So I'll ask now (: I've been married for 4 years in August. We have 3 daughters together. 9,1 and 4 ...

A.   23 May 2017: Well done for still making an effort, you sound like you are doing a great job. He needs to open up to you, communication has broken down. Maybe he is tired? Who knows! Get a babysitter some weekend, or if your or his parents will have the kids over ... (read in full...)

I think I made a mistake in getting married to him as I don't think I can accept his culture and all the family involvement. What should I do?

Q.   I am a vey independent woman who likes a lot of space and I do not like being told what to do. I rarely see my own family as I am busy with my life and they with theirs. My husband comes from Egypt and would like me to go and live there but I don'...

A.   23 May 2017: I struggle to see why you got married in the first place when you want to live as a single lady, go travelling and be independent. Not really fair on your husband in fairness. Marriage is meant to be a life long commitment and not something you just ... (read in full...)

How can I convince my husband to get help?

Q.   i worry that my husband may be depressed. he's been acting a little "off" lately, and at first, i was afraid that maybe he wasn't happy in our relationship anymore. he assured me, however, that the problem is not me, but that there's something wrong ...

A.   23 May 2017: The long and short off it is you can't. I get that you love him and off course you want to help him, but he needs to get the help for himself. If he is not willing to do that then really their is nothing you can do but either support him or else ... (read in full...)

Is he showing interest in me in a more than a colleague way, or not?

Q.   Hi all. I'm a bisexual (for lack of better labels...) man 28 y.o., in a situation that needs your input :) I'm not gonna go in detail about myself, I just wanna state that when a girl fancies me I can tell, however I dont seem to be able to ...

A.   23 May 2017: It really is hard to tell. He could like you or he could just be friendly. Although really is it wise getting involved with someone you work with? If it went wrong things would be very awkward. ... (read in full...)

Was he drunk or did he experience memory loss?

Q.   hi, i am 43 years old and been on my own for 17.5 years, my ex left me when my daughter was five months old and i have remained single. i have met someone i really like and we have seen each other a few times. last night he came to see me and sa...

A.   23 May 2017: As bizarre as it does sound I think you shot down his ego so he is deciding to block it out and not talk about it again. Why not offer to cook him a nice meal for his birthday or take him out to a low key place for bar food.... (read in full...)

5 years with girlfriend, losing attraction, annoyed and frustrated

Q.   I been with my gf nearly 5 years, we are still living apart due to money issues and our permanent jobs. But things have changed. I'm avoiding her because I feel like i can't really speak to her like I speak to the guys. For example, I mentioned I'm ...

A.   23 May 2017: Your relationship doesn't seem to have progressed very well in five years. I would take that as a sign you are both not compatible and end things. Sounds like you would be much happier single.... (read in full...)

I'm pregnant and I know my partner will want me to get an abortion

Q.   Hi I'm very worried. Iv just found out I'm pregnant, I know my partner does not want any, we have two children already. I'm not sure what to do, he will want me to have an abortion but I don't believe in them. iv not yet told him, I don't know how...

A.   23 May 2017: If he pressures you in to an abortion and you have one, it will be you that is ending that babies life, you that is left feeling empty, you that will find it hard to live with yourself. Do not let him bully you. If he is going to leave you to deal ... (read in full...)

How do I get the spontaneity back in our sex life?

Q.   How do I get the spontaneity back in our sex life. Since our second child or sex life has slowed down to maybe 3-5 times a month if that's a good month. It's always planned. She suffers depression.theres times I feel although she'...

A.   23 May 2017: Depression and child birth can do this. Is she getting professional help for her depression? Start by getting a babysitter at the weekend or leaving the children with parents if that is an option and treat her to a date night. Get dressed up go for ... (read in full...)

How can I become more wet during sex?

Q.   How do I become more 'wet' during intercourse? My partner often notes that I don't stay 'wet' long enough. I love my partner and am excited and aroused when we snuggle and make out, but I'm just not excited when we have intercourse because he is ra...

A.   23 May 2017: Male anon it is not relevant what size her partner is and their really was no need to ask that, it is not rare and it can happen. Lets leave that there. OP are you both having enough foreplay? Try changing things up and maybe using sex toys as it s... (read in full...)

How can I make my partner's ex not hate me?

Q.   My current partner and I got together while he and his then wife were going through a slightly bumpy divorce. Our relationship evolved pretty fast, and I didn’t see this as an issue because they had since moved away from each other, living in their ...

A.   23 May 2017: If you want to be with this man then you need to accept that she is never ever going to like you. To her you are half her age and you took away her husband and her daughters dad, she will never forgive that am afraid. The best thing you can do is ... (read in full...)

Help me sort this mees out

Q.   I deserve to be blamed. I got divorce 4 years ago. My life was good just always I felt something is missing. Every time I was seeing couples holding hands it was catching my attention . I got divorce which I regret it today. It didn't worth the ...

A.   22 May 2017: Please get rid off all contact from your ex husband unless off course it is to do with your children that marriage is over. You ended things with your boyfriend so please do not feel bad that he is just assuming you are still together. If it was ... (read in full...)

How do I deal with my mom's attitude and treatment of me?

Q.   We're expecting our second baby in 2.5 months and I have a 15 month old at home. My mom has been a wonderful help but every time she visits us, she makes me feel like the worst mom and occasionally a bad daughter. I have a happy life and I just want ...

A.   22 May 2017: Yes it is possible that she is unhappy and she is jealous because you seem to be happy. If you cannot talk to her about this then it is never going to get resolved. You need to let her know just how much she is draining you, if she turns it in to an ... (read in full...)

Why am I jealous that she's seeing other people?

Q.   Hello everyone...I have a gf and we have been in a relationship for almost 3 years. She lied and cheated me last year but we managed to get back. Now she's doing the same thing again so i broke if off. She said she loved both of us but i cant let ...

A.   22 May 2017: Yes you absolutely done the right thing. She broke your heart the first time, you forgave her then she done it again. This is not how we treat people that we are meant to love, you deserve so much better than this. Off course it will be hard for ... (read in full...)

What are the rules for family visiting when we are separated but still living under the same roof?

Q.   My husband has recently said he wants a divorce after I started sleeping in another bedroom for comfort reasons after my breast cancer and mastectomy last year. He says he is sick of being the provider and is angry that I haven't yet gone back to ...

A.   22 May 2017: I can't even begin to understand what you are going through, you have had a tough time, and yes even though you have been the victim off cancer it does effect the whole family and can tear you all apart. There really is no rules here. But I do unde... (read in full...)

He says he wants a child and gets upset when I give my reasons for why it doesn't work for me now!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 months now and he just brought up wanting a baby with me. I've had an abortion in a past relationship. We are both still in college and as much as I want a kid I just don't see it as a good time to have one ...

A.   22 May 2017: If you don't even know if he is being serious or not then you are no way ready to be parents together. You need to be able to talk to each other and know when the other is being serious or not. I don't blame you for not knowing him that well yet ... (read in full...)

I want to show him the fun me! Do I ask him for a second date?

Q.   I recently stumbled across an old friend and he admitted he liked me 20 yrs ago as i did him . He thought i wasnt interested in him and he was a bit shy so thought i didnt like him that way but i did i fancied the pants off him. im the first to ...

A.   22 May 2017: By all means call him up and ask him would he like to join you on a night out for a few drinks. If he says no then I do think its best if you leave it. If he agrees then show him the real you and see how it goes. ... (read in full...)

How do I talk to him while we are both at the gym? I'm shy

Q.   There's a guy at the gym i have my eye on. I had seen him around at the gym many times, but never talked. However, we both ended up doing the Spartan Race back in January. We both recognized each other, and started talking. After that, we started ...

A.   22 May 2017: Are you sure that he is single? I wouldn't go asking him out until you are really sure. Start slowly. General chit chat, smile at him, say hello, ask him about his week. The next Saturday session you both have generally say to him you are starving ... (read in full...)

Why does my husband have this need to tell virtual strangers they are attractive?

Q.   My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 yrs. our relationship was the result of an affair that started as friendship. He is 20 yrs older than me. We have been incredibly happy for 8 yrs. He recently turned 70 and now seems to need attention ...

A.   22 May 2017: It appears he feels he is getting old and he needs reassurance that women still find him attractive. I would be deeply upset if this was my husband. You mention your relationship started from an affair? Was it him that was married? My guess is that ... (read in full...)

She agrees to a threesome when drunk but not when she's sober)

Q.   Ok... So my wife and I have discussed threesomes with another woman and she has accepted as long as I dont participate, in other words not really a threesome just voyeurism on my part, which i'm totally cool with, but I would also like for her to ...

A.   22 May 2017: Off course she doesn't want to, never trust what a drunk person tells you as they are not thinking straight. I would love to ask though why did you get married if you want your wife to have sex with other people? Did you not enter a commitment?... (read in full...)

How do I recover from this breakup?

Q.   My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago. Neither one of us was expecting it, but it became clear that we loved each other but we weren't on the same page and wanted different things. Our maturity levels did not align. The hardest part for...

A.   22 May 2017: You are doing everything right, you just need to be patient now, it is going to take longer than a few days to get over someone. You just need to accept that it will be like this for a while, but it will get better. The more time apart you spend the ... (read in full...)

I can't have an orgasm so I always fake them. Is there something wrong with me?

Q.   I am in a relationship, almost a year now and we have amazing chemistry together. Every time we are having sex I can't seem to orgasm even if I try my best. On my own Its every time, so I fake it to not upset him or to get it over with.What do I ...

A.   22 May 2017: Stop faking it. Show him how to get you off. Most women don't orgasm through sex but more so through foreplay. So show him what works for you.... (read in full...)

He argues about everything! Will our relationship last?

Q.   My partner and I have been fighting a lot ever since getting together 2.5 years ago. I love him a lot but often have doubts about whether we will work long term. Whenever I ask him to do something small (like take his shoes away from my front do...

A.   22 May 2017: This is never going to work, am surprised you have both lasted so long if it is always like this. You are not compatible, now am not saying he is in the wrong or that you are, its just simple that it won't work between you both as you are very ... (read in full...)

Does my ex have unresolved feelings for me?

Q.   So I dated this girl long distance about 3 years ago. The relationship was fine until the very end when she started lying and treating me horribly. Long story short, she ended up cheating on me with her best friend (shd denied that she cheated on ...

A.   22 May 2017: My guess is that she feels bad for what she done to you. I guess we all make mistakes and she is trying to put hers right. If she is around your age then she was young when she cheated on you and now that she is a bit older it seems she may be ... (read in full...)

I don't know what to do, yet I don't want to give up on us.

Q.   I recently read a post where the woman didn't know what to do because get man was still visiting online dating sites even though they are together and so neither of them are no longer single. I wanted to answer her, yet I can't honestly give her ...

A.   22 May 2017: You say you are confident? Then gain more confidence and leave this waste off space. You are deluded if you think this man is in love with you. Yes he may love you but he is not in love with you, if he was he would not be looking to porn when he has ... (read in full...)

I feel used. Should I tell his Gf?

Q.   I had been speaking to this guy that I met online.. we had been flirting away and getting on super well. Time passed as he asked to meet which I agreed. However he didn't make it and I found out it was because he has a girlfriend. I've accepte...

A.   22 May 2017: No it is not your place to tell his girlfriend. The moment that you found out he had a girlfriend you should have blocked him and never looked back. Instead you agreed to be friends, probably because you liked the attention he gave you. Stop ... (read in full...)

I am not sure if she feels the same about me. what can I do? I've developed feelings for a female co-worker.

Q.   Not sure where to start.... So I am a 24 year old female and have developed feelings for a co-worker who is also female but is 45years old. We have worked together for over 2years now, we work amongst a team and work with different colleagues. I wo...

A.   22 May 2017: Their is a lot to think about here, if this goes wrong you will be stuck working with this woman. Honestly has she ever gave you any indication that she is sexually interested in females? You very easily could be mistaken friendship for something ... (read in full...)

What do her words mean?

Q.   hello, I've been seeing this girl now for 6 months, but out of no where, she been acting moody and distant with me lately and I don't know why. So I confronted her about it and ask if I was us and she said yes. she went on to say "I don't know h...

A.   22 May 2017: It appears you are both quite young. It sounds to me like she is having doubts about the relationship but at the same time she is scared to let you go. Honestly save yourself the hurt and end things. If she feels like this then it will only get ... (read in full...)

Do you think our relationship go anywhere?

Q.   I have been talking to this guy for nearly 4 months who I met online. We are from different states, would be a 10 hour drive there. Originally, I was only talking with him for something to do, casual flirting here and there, nothing serious. He ...

A.   22 May 2017: But realistically what is it that you have now? Someone you can chat to and have a laugh with behind a phone screen? I know for me I wouldn't want this, because I feel I would end up getting hurt. To me it sounds like he is having a laugh chatting ... (read in full...)

Do you think our relationship go anywhere?

Q.   I have been talking to this guy for nearly 4 months who I met online. We are from different states, would be a 10 hour drive there. Originally, I was only talking with him for something to do, casual flirting here and there, nothing serious. He ...

A.   18 May 2017: I understand where you are coming from. It would be horrible if you fell for this guy and then got hurt. It is okay to ask him what his plans are? It is okay to ask him does he see you and him being together? Meeting up? ect.... (read in full...)

Do you think our relationship go anywhere?

Q.   I have been talking to this guy for nearly 4 months who I met online. We are from different states, would be a 10 hour drive there. Originally, I was only talking with him for something to do, casual flirting here and there, nothing serious. He ...

A.   17 May 2017: (read in full...)

Do you think our relationship go anywhere?

Q.   I have been talking to this guy for nearly 4 months who I met online. We are from different states, would be a 10 hour drive there. Originally, I was only talking with him for something to do, casual flirting here and there, nothing serious. He ...

A.   17 May 2017: Okay so am guessing this is your second post about this guy? Only it is much different to your first post. Long distance won't work here unless you both have a plan. Are one off you planning to move to be near the other? Honestly I think he enjoys a ... (read in full...)

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