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Girlfriend and I have a fight over why I didn't take a shower???

Q.   Need some advice on an argument I had with my girlfriend. So a few weeks ago, we were invited to my godson's birthday party. My gf decided she didn't want to go, so I went alone. A couple weeks later, my gf and I go out to brunch, but before we ...

A.   15 November 2012: You both seem to want different things in this relationship and in fact, I suspect on some levels you're possibly not suited for each other overall. You work at home, so it might be common to work in your underwear but if she goes off to an office ... (read in full...)

Teenager finds 50 year olds attractive?

Q.   I'm 16 and I find men in their 50's attractive. Is this normal?...

A.   15 November 2012: That's the worst case of Daddy syndrome I've ever heard of. Very strange!... (read in full...)

Why is my boyfriend acting so weird when he texts this one particular number?

Q.   I'm concerned about some funny behavior with my boyfriend and I would like some opinions. Our history - we haven't been dating long. Four or five months, but we got very close very fast, and we both love each other and have expressed that t...

A.   15 November 2012: Memorize the number next time you see it at the top of the screen then later call the number and see who answers. You can turn off your cell phone's caller ID so your number won't be revealed. You could even call from a business location, bar, or ... (read in full...)

How can I get out of this confused mess that's happened since I split up with my ex?

Q.   im in a right mess split up with my ex. A few months back we occasionally slept together i recently found out he was dating this girl. I felt really hurt as he had slept with me two days before i found out. I went mad and messaged her to tell her ...

A.   2 November 2012: Of course you are in a confusing mess, you are using sex to replace the missing intimacy you are really craving from someone. I think you also use sex to rebound from hurt feelings. In a way, it would appear that sex is your "comfort food" in times ... (read in full...)

He's looking at Porn every night. Is this what men do or is this unacceptable?

Q.   Mondote: Please provide your age next time you ask a question to help people who answer your question/s. Been with C for 8years, lived together for 5years and have an 8month old baby. Always had arguments about porn with empty promises about not wa...

A.   27 October 2012: Nope he's addicted. It's not what normal men do, especially when they are in happy relationships. They might occasionally cruise on some porn but not every day.... (read in full...)

What happened to the concept that guys like a natural look? I'm invisible to guys when I go out with her!

Q.   Can someone explain what is so amazing about my friend that everyone likes her and all the guys i meet first meet first, set her and then want her!! On nights out she gets so much male attention you would think she was megan fox. She's mixed rac...

A.   27 October 2012: Guys say they don't like women who cake on the make-up yet clearly this is not always the case. You really have two options here: 1) If you are looking to hook up with a guy on one of these girl night-out, try picking a different friend to go bar ... (read in full...)

My wife has been keeping secrets from me. What did she do in Vegas?

Q.   My wife and I were in Venice sitting on a hotel balcony overlooking the Grand Canal. We were joined by 2 girls in their mid 20s and a boy about the same age. Conversation let to what our favorite city was. When my wife's turn came she stated h...

A.   27 October 2012: I think you're wife has many faucets to her personality and sometimes she likes to be "bad". Vegas represents this for her. She may not have cheated on you but she probably dresses more wild, and parties while she's there, maybe taking in some ... (read in full...)

We can't get married as we are two different religions... help!

Q.   I met my partner in 2005, we were both in relationships, we shared every problem we encountered in our then relationships. In December 2010 I ended my relationship with my partner because he was jealous and abusive, then I got saved (born again)in ...

A.   27 October 2012: No as far as I know, it is not a sin to marry a person from another Christian denomination. But you really have to look at the fundamental differences of each denomination. How different are these particular faiths? One is Baptist? One is Church of ... (read in full...)

I told him I loved him and he said "thank you" What does that mean?

Q.   I've been seeing this man for some time now and have strong feelings for him. We talk about moving in together even he has brought up marriage a few times, but the other day when I told him I loved him his expression was like a deer caught in head ...

A.   23 October 2012: It means he may not feel the same way about you, but rather than say nothing, he said "thank you" because he has good manners and didn't want to upset you with complete silence. On the other hand, it's a well known fact that many men really don't ... (read in full...)

When her ex needs someone to talk to she is the one he calls!

Q.   Me and my girlfriend are doing great at the moment,except for one thing that has been really bothering me. She went out with this guy for a year and a half and broke up with him more than a year ago. However, this guy would contact her when...

A.   16 October 2012: If she continues to talk to her ex, and console him every time he has a pimple of concern, you will continue to feel a bit mistrustful of her on every level. It will creep in at the oddest times, for instance when she mentions video chats your mind ... (read in full...)

Am I doing too much for my Gf? I sometimes feel used by her.

Q.   I sometimes feel like i'm being used by my Gf. Like i always give her money and i buy stuff for her. She always ask me do i want anything and i just say no. I don't really want her to buy me anything. I'd rather be the type of gf, thats always ...

A.   15 October 2012: Maybe, otherwise you could end up spoiling her rotten and how do you encore that year after year after year? Plus she is going to start seeing you as a doormat. Men have to be a little difficult at times. Women need a bit of a challenge. Her Daddy ... (read in full...)

I cant stand the fact that girls are always flirting with my attractive boyfriend

Q.   Hey guys , I'm having major jealously issues. Not to brag but my boyfriend is really attractive so there is always girls after him flirting with him and such. I find it hard to deal with, he is totally oblivious to the fact. He says their all just ...

A.   15 October 2012: You gotta just ignore it. He's with you. I know, I'm twice your age, and my husband is always capturing the attention of attractive women. It's like he has some kind of chick-magnet karma or something. It's crazy! Like the other day we were ... (read in full...)

He's a widower in his 50s. Is there a chance for us? Should I be more patient with him?

Q.   I currently like a guy, (in his 50s...), we do enjoy spending time together whenever I'm visiting his city, and he writes pretty much every day, or whenever I reply him. We're not officially anything, just 2 good friends. We sometimes flirt through ...

A.   15 October 2012: Well one of you is gonna have to say it sooner or later. All these guessing games is going no where. He's had plenty of time to formally mourn in the appropriate sense. Not that he doesn't still feel sad for his loss, but the fact that he's willing ... (read in full...)

Truly? Why would a girl get scared off if a guy has never had a girlfriend before?

Q.   While dating and having much difficulty landing a real relationship, I've noticed that many women avoid getting into a serious relationship with a guy who never had a girlfriend before. Why is that? I don't want to lie because I am very honest,...

A.   15 October 2012: By your age, it is a little odd that you haven't had a woman in your life for more than a month. That does send out the wrong kind of signal to a woman who might be interested in you otherwise. Okay so you like to be honest, but in this case I ... (read in full...)

All my friends are now in relationships. What's the answer for me? I'm consumed with jealously and weekends are the worst for me now.

Q.   Hi aunts and uncles. Please can I have some advice as do what I should and how I can meet someone and stop feeling like this. Basically keep it short. I'm 32, female and single and I can't seem to meet anyone. I'm attractive, I have an ok...

A.   15 October 2012: Don't be consumed with jealousy, it creates bad karma in your life. You need to be happy for your friends because the more you say "yes" to what they have the more chance you will have of swinging that karma in your own direction. Negative thoughts, ... (read in full...)

When her ex needs someone to talk to she is the one he calls!

Q.   Me and my girlfriend are doing great at the moment,except for one thing that has been really bothering me. She went out with this guy for a year and a half and broke up with him more than a year ago. However, this guy would contact her when...

A.   15 October 2012: I wouldn't like it but let's think about all sides. What do you know about her ex? Is he reclusive? Does he have suicidal tendencies? Is he a loner? These all point to reasons why she feels responsible for his well being even after a year of ... (read in full...)

When her ex needs someone to talk to she is the one he calls!

Q.   Me and my girlfriend are doing great at the moment,except for one thing that has been really bothering me. She went out with this guy for a year and a half and broke up with him more than a year ago. However, this guy would contact her when...

A.   15 October 2012: I wouldn't like it but let's think about all sides. What do you know about her ex? Is he reclusive? Does he have suicidal tendencies? Is he a loner? These all point to reasons why she feels responsible for his well being even after a year of ... (read in full...)

Can I ever forgive her? How?

Q.   I am a young man aged 28 working in the government and my fiance is 24 and she does not work. My fiance loves telling lies most of the time and my friends always tells me that your fiance looks like crook. Two weeks ago on Saturday I bought a ...

A.   15 October 2012: Woof! That's bad! I think it's a huge sign that you should not marry this girl. And personally I'd be done with her for good. Your friends have already been trying to warn you. This was your wake up call. Now back away slowly and move on. Good ... (read in full...)

My new guy is awesome. So why do I still miss one aspect of my manipulative unkind ex?

Q.   i split with my ex in may and we had being together for 4 and a half years. He was a horrible manipulator who played a lot of games and wasn't physically violent but mentally exhausting. i finally freed myself from him after 4 long years and i wa...

A.   15 October 2012: I see this as two problems. 1) You got rather addicted to the drama your first relationship had. Sure the humor was good I suppose but I think it goes deeper. 2) You somehow think you don't deserve this new man because he's too perfect, he's too ... (read in full...)

Everything is going perfect, but can a womanizer really change?

Q.   I met this guy who's very famous in my country. He's not just famous for his work, he is also very famous as a womanizer. I'm a commitment-phobic myself, but I never felt attracted to womanizers. We me while ago, through a common friend (one of h...

A.   15 October 2012: There are no cookie-cutter answers here. Some men start out as womanizers, and then in their 30's they get bored with that scene. If they have any values at all, they may start thinking about having a steady mate and stop all the madness of ... (read in full...)

How to understand your man !!

Q.   Why is it, that it seems men just dont get women. Dont get me wrong both sexes can be just as bad as each other but however men seem so thoughtless. I for instance will make sure that my man is looked after has what he needs and i never have him ...

A.   15 October 2012: Men are from Mars and women are from Venus. That book wasn't written for nothing. Men and women do not see things, do things, or generally ever think alike. Women are usually raised to be care-givers. It's in our DNA. Since the dawn of time, women ... (read in full...)

Can I forgive my girlfriend for not supporting me when I was at the lowest point in my life?

Q.   I was bereaved 15 weeks ago. My son died in a fatal car crash. My girlfriend and i had a petty row and she walked out on me. I asked her not to go because i had shouted at her. I was bang out of order. My emotions were all over and i was dreading my ...

A.   15 October 2012: I don't think you should waste another minute on her. She has proven time and again that she's not that into, by her constantly excluding you from her outings. She is also shallow and insensitive in my books, by basically abandoning you and using ... (read in full...)

Marraige for 5years but we don't have sex

Q.   I have been married for 5 years.My wife has a degree in bussines adminstration and i have a diploma in social work.The last one year i have suffered insults from her.I work on voluntary for a certain NGO in lusaka and they pay me 2million as a...

A.   13 October 2012: Somehow she has lost respect for you as a man and it is directly tied to how you earn your living. In her mind, perhaps in her upbringing men were high achievers. Since you chose a job that earns less money she sees that as a failure and apparently ... (read in full...)

Should I dump my boyfriend over this Facebook stuff and his lies?

Q.   My Boyfriend wanted me to delete all the male friends on my fb account. I grew up with these guys and most of them are married it is nothing sexual. But to please him I just deleted my account . That made him mad because he said I should have ju...

A.   13 October 2012: Yes you can set your profile to only be seen by a list of people you choose, or even specific friends. Since he didn't keep up his end of the bargain (and I'm assuming it was agreed by both of you to remove "opposite sex" people from your fb) you ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn't always ejaculate but says he still enjoys sex. Can anyone relate to this? I'm worried I'm doing something wrong!

Q.   Can anyone explain my bf's lack of ejaculation to me? For as long as we've been together (1.5 yrs now), and he says for his whole life, he ejaculates when he orgasms sometimes but not always. Sometimes when we have sex, he will ejaculat...

A.   13 October 2012: I think he's full of crap. The amount of masterbating definately makes a difference on how a man will perform sexually when he's with a woman. He's overusing his equipment. It's very simple. He may be telling you he hasn't masterbated lately but ... (read in full...)

Pregnant but still having an affair - please help!?

Q.   I know I will be judged for this but I don't have anyone or anywhere to go with this one. I'm 6 months pregnant with my husband. Just before I got pregnant, I left my husband. Things had been bad for a while and I was falling for another man. ...

A.   13 October 2012: well here's a perfectly good example of when it's not okay to have male friends - when you're attracted to them! Here your husband has made a supreme effort to step up to the plate for you and try to work things out in your marriage. He seems to be ... (read in full...)

I am confused by his actions. Can a man concurrently and happily live with his wife, make love to his wife, and care about his children while occasionally having sexual affairs with men?

Q.   My husband of 16 years of marriage has admitted to a gay affair and numerous indiscretions with men for the last 6 years. I was devastated and even though 8 weeks have passed I feel a little bit stronger. I have been receiving counselling to come ...

A.   13 October 2012: He cheated on you. It doesn't matter if it was a man, or another woman. He broke your marriage vows. You should look at this without trying to label it. Apparently you knew he was bisexual when you married him. I think he has always been in a high ... (read in full...)

Lost my baby to SIDS in Feb. My husband is totally unsupportive to me and only wants sex. Is it time to leave and take my daughter with me?

Q.   hey guys i have been married since 2007 we have a 3 yr old girl. When i met him i was so in love but then came him being outside all day with the guys. We lost the relationship we had He never has interest in finding a job to support us. It'...

A.   13 October 2012: You both need grief counseling to get past this enormous tragedy. Your husband is dealing with it the way men deal with alot of their issues, by having meaningless sex. Luckily it's with you and not some total stranger. But it's not healthy for him ... (read in full...)

Am I really in love with this guy or does it sound like a physical attraction? How can I tell the difference betwen like, love and just physical attraction?

Q.   Dear Cupid How do we know whether we truely someone or its just physical attraction. I'm with this Guy for 2 years, I love him a lot. I never thought he is really handsome or anything, but its something in him I don't know want, makes me crazy a...

A.   13 October 2012: I think you are in love. If you would have started your post by saying, "I'm with this really hot guy" I'd think you were just physically attracted to him.... (read in full...)

Can someone please tell me what 'treating a girl like a Princess' is all about?

Q.   what is all the stuff about boyfrinds treating their girlfriends like a princess about Sorry I am clueless about this. How is this done? What do I do? why is it required?...

A.   13 October 2012: OMG surely you didn't just meet someone who actually told you this is how she is expected to be treated?! If so I'd say, run the other way and keep on running. You are entering a high-maintenance relationship with someone who expects to be ... (read in full...)

How do I get over my affair with a married man?

Q.   Hello, I really need some help and dont know where else to go. My ex was sent to prison for a while over 5 years ago, we split a few months of him being inside. I found help online to help me understand what he was going through in there, there was ...

A.   10 October 2012: Time heals all wounds. So simple but very true. You keep busy. You find friends. You go out. See movies, plays, ballet. You take up guitar. You make a date with a new man. You just have to move on.There's no other way. The affair is over. Maybe he ... (read in full...)

Do I keep it to myself or tell my sister? My sister's husband of nine years told me he is having an affair

Q.   Yesterday was the worst day of my life. My sister's husband of nine years told me he is having an affair,he trusted me enough to tell me, but I feel like I'm betraying my sister. Please help me what should I do????? My sister also has a life treat...

A.   30 September 2012: I think it depends on your relationship with your sister, so it's hard to give you a blanket answer. If it were my sister, I would tell her! But you have to decide how your sister would react. Also I think it's odd that he confided in you. Maybe ... (read in full...)

How do I get this balance right between wanting to be myself and neither be a doormat or too much like his ex? I want to be appropriately assertive.

Q.   Hello Everyone, I've asked for help before about a relatively new relationship and it was so helpful - but I have another question please... my confidence is still a bit low in regard to relationships because I had a very difficult one for a ver...

A.   30 September 2012: I assume you get along fairly well and there's not alot of "power" struggles in your relationship. Keeping yourself from falling into the old habit of becoming a doormat is a continuous process. We train people how we want to be treated. It means ... (read in full...)

Is he trying to get back at me because I told him I won't cheat with him?

Q.   There is this guy friend I have that's been doing his best to lead me on. He has a girlfriend but he was always acting like he was single. We were involved in an emotional affair you could say and nothing physical ever happened but not because he ...

A.   30 September 2012: Who cares? For once a woman did the right thing and told a guy who is already seeing someone to take a hike, that you're not going to be anyone's "side dish". Now own it! And stop spending so much time worrying or looking at his facebook page. He ... (read in full...)

I have an athletic body, but no boobs. Are my friends right about the comments, I'm now self conscious guys will be put off!!?

Q.   I feel really self conscious about my body after the comments from people I live with at uni, now I think they're right that a guy wont like my body or maybe I should get surgery, or gain weight, anything to change myself. I'm not that tall, only ...

A.   30 September 2012: Don't sign up for surgery just yet. Take a good look at your Mom, what does her body look like? Genetics don't lie and if your Mom has some curves, chances are you will too at some point in the future. Most men do like it when a girl isn't stick ... (read in full...)

In a FWB relationship should I be angry that he stood me up?

Q.   I have been seeing a guy for quite a short time. It started out as a one night stand but we have been seeing each others again after that. It is clear it is nothing else than for sex, which is fine with me since I am recently single and not really ...

A.   30 September 2012: I think anytime you enter into a 'nothing but sex' relationship the respect and mutual responsibility goes right out the wiindow. He behaved exactly the way a man would in this situation. If you want respect you have to be more than a piece of a** ... (read in full...)

He is against gay marriage?

Q.   Hi, I met this guy who is confused about what he wants. He was with a guy and they broke up now he is with a girl. Lately we stated talking and I am getting the vibe that he likes me. He likes to touch me a lot when he is talking to me. ...

A.   30 September 2012: FYI: Being a Christian does not make things"unfortunate". And if he is a Christian, you can be pretty sure he's against gay marriages. The Bible makes specific references to homosexuality being an "abomination to God". That scripture implies that ... (read in full...)

The wedding is planned, I have even ordered my dress but I'm becoming more and more insecure in my relationship because of my boyfriend's actions

Q.   Hi everyone, I really need some advice. I am 30 and engaged. We are supposed to be getting married mid next year. My fiancée and I have been together for nine years. However for the past year I have been feeling less and less secure in the relation...

A.   28 September 2012: You are so being played honey! He asked you to marry him because deep down inside he wants the stability a marriage provides while he wanders around stumbling into sexual adventures and passing them off as innocent coincedences. You are his safety ... (read in full...)

Sick of being seen as one of the guys

Q.   Once again I have fallen into the 'you're like one of the guys' category with another guy. I love having guy friends, most of my friends are guys because I don't get along with girls my age. I get along with older women really well, but most girls ...

A.   28 September 2012: If he really said that (about hating ditsy girls) you have to ask him why he is going out with one. You of all people should be able to get away with a point blank question. And I for one would love to know what he says. You have a pattern in your ... (read in full...)

I'm afraid he isn't as serious as I thought he was about us

Q.   I've just become exclusive with a guy I've been seeing on and off for the last 12 months. He's told me he loves me and I'm the only one it just took him a while to realize it. I was at a friends tonight who was on her dating site and I saw his prof...

A.   28 September 2012: Were you aware he had this dating profile information out there? Maybe you should create a "fake" profile and see f you can "meet" him on line to see how he acts, what he says and how he conducts himself. Then you'll know. But P.S you can't tell ... (read in full...)

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