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*ystiquek

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If you can’t be thankful for what you have, be thankful for what you have escaped - Unknown---This is my new mantra. The last several years have been very hard for me both physically and mentally. Its so easy to think "Poor me...why me??" I think its natural and most of us do it once in awhile. The truth is though, that if you look around you, there is always someone worse off than you are. Be humble and grateful for what you have but also what you don't have to deal with.

"Experience is the name that everyone gives their mistakes" Oscar Wilde

"The world doesn't stop every time that you call." We think that it should though, don't we??? I'm a HUGE fan of the 80's. Lyrics from Heartbreak Beat- Psychedelic Furs.

"And those who were dancing were thought be insane by those who didn't hear the music" Friedrich Nietz

I'm not in this world to live up to your expectations and you're not in this world to live up to mine.

Bruce Lee

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. " Albert Einstein

Even a small star shines in the darkness- Finnish proverb

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have

and take that first step into the darkness of the unknown,

you must believe that one of two things will happen:

There will be something solid for you to stand upon,

or, you will be taught how to fly

--Pat Overton

This is my favorite quote..and it really sums up people..from a very brilliant fabulous woman.....

People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Latest articles:

Don't be afraid to walk away when you know things are wrong. Never let someone undermine who you are!

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

4 November 2013: As we all know, being in a relationship isn't easy. It can be one of the most wonderful feelings in the world to be in love, but falling out of love or the break up of a relationship can also be one of the most painful experiences in life. ...

1234567891011Next > [27 pages, 1056 answers]

Do I ask a friend to ask another friend why he's ignoring me?

Q.   I feel silly asking this, but here goes: I have a friend, whom I'll call A, who I was friends with for decades. Over the last few years something has been up -- he has been avoiding me, and doesn't e-mail or call me. We have a mutual friend, ...

A.   18 February 2018: I wouldn't get another person involved, OP. If you want to get to the bottom of things, email, call or text this friend yourself. Ask him if you have done something to offend him in any way? Say that you are confused about your relationship and just ... (read in full...)

I want to be his girlfriend..not his FWB

Q.   Am in a fwb situation..we are monogamous with each other..he tells me he loves me..I tell him that too.. But he says he does not want a girlfriend..he did take me out on valentines day..but next morning referred to me as his fuck buddy...I hate t...

A.   18 February 2018: My grandmother used to say "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"? I don't mean this to be disrespectful to you but I have a bad feeling that your FWB has this attitude. FWB relationships are usually a disaster because one person winds up ... (read in full...)

I love him, but his deception can’t go on!

Q.   Hi Aunts! I'm 29 years old and in an alleged relationship with a married man for the last one and a half year. It wasn't intended to happen cause we were only friends, but developed nonetheless. At first, he kept his marital status a secret from me....

A.   17 February 2018: A very old expression but a very true one. "If he cheats with you, he'll cheat on you." Think about it. Nothing more needs to be said. ... (read in full...)

We text and fight, then meet, make up then make out! Now he wants to be just friends?

Q.   My boyfriend and I am in relationship from 4 months,we fight alot on texts.Almost every week we decide to break up.But when we meet, we just kiss amd make out ,there is no fight at all.Now again after fight he wants to be only friends.Will we be ...

A.   15 February 2018: Why are you even bothering? There's too many guys out there to chose from. He's being immature and playing games. ... (read in full...)

He loves me but wants space? What does it mean?

Q.   I have been dating a man I met 6 months ago. His wife cheated on him and now lives with a new partner but they had only just stopped sharing the marital home just before we met. He treated me like gold, told me I was the woman of his dreams and t...

A.   11 February 2018: You sound like a lovely intelligent lady. I am sure that you are "Ms. Right" but for him I think you are "Ms right now". People going through divorces can be absolutely crazy! Your emotions are just everywhere and you truly don't know what you want ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend doesn’t give me attention!

Q.   Well I have been with my bf for a few months now. I have noticed that I have been the absolute only on carrying the relationship. I have a giving heart and that sometimes make a me look real stupid. My heart is pure and I tend to give it to the ...

A.   11 February 2018: The best advice is to walk away, don't look back and respect yourself so that you don't let anyone treat you like a doormat. If you don't love yourself and respect yourself no one else will either. Don't ever think you can love with money. You ... (read in full...)

I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!

Q.   Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...

A.   8 February 2018: Of course you are shocked and hurting OP. Its terrible to find out that someone we love has lied and cheated on us and even worse gotten another woman pregnant. As the other aunts and uncles have said even though you can't see it right now you ... (read in full...)

I thought he loved me but he cheated and she's pregnant!

Q.   Hello this may be a lil not lengthy but I need advice. I was in a long distance relationship with someone I met on a job two years ago, we met when I moved to Virginia for a short period of time but because we were both in a relationship at the time ...

A.   8 February 2018: Of course you are shocked and hurting OP. Its terrible to find out that someone we love has lied and cheated on us and even worse gotten another woman pregnant. As the other aunts and uncles have said even though you can't see it right now you ... (read in full...)

He thinks I am sick and twisted when I ask about hi past, we have no interesting conversation, its just boring.

Q.   Hi ,I have been dating this guy for 4 wks seeing him 2-3 times a wk .. meals out , walks in park etc but I feel bored already because he has told me not to ask about the past and he never asks me anything so our conversation is pretty standard ...

A.   7 February 2018: I think its rather telling that after only a month you are bored? It sure doesn't sound like this relationship has any hope of lasting long term! I have been with my husband for over 17 years (not all of those years married) but I have NEVER been ... (read in full...)

Could my FWB's partner's ego have kept him from admitting that he cares about me?

Q.   I've been on and off friends with benefits with a guy for 4 years. I've fallen in love with him and I told him in person. he said he likes me but can't commit to me because of his family situation as his family are not speaking to him. During this ...

A.   6 February 2018: My grandmother used to always say "Why buy the cow when you get the milk for free"??? He doesn't care about you enough to want to be in a relationship with you after 4 years? THINK ABOUT IT. He wants sex and you supply it and as long as you do that ... (read in full...)

I don't accept his reasons for not wanting to date me.

Q.   Hi I've been having problems with a guy and I want any advice to understand the way he is acting. I met him online many months ago maybe 5 months ago. It was a dating app so obviously that is the reason people are on there. However he will no...

A.   6 February 2018: I agree with honeypie. You're childish, playing games and testing him. Those kinds of tactics don't go over too well with most people. And think again if you think that a man will fall for you just because you cry and beg. Most men will shake their ... (read in full...)

Is "we need to chat" the same as "we need to talk"?

Q.   If someone says ‘we need to chat’ is that different than ‘we need to talk’ or do you think it’s the same thing? ...

A.   5 February 2018: For all intents and purposes they mean the same thing but to me "we need to chat" sounds a little less formal and more friendly whereas "we need to talk" reminds me something a boss says to an employee or when someone isn't happy with you or the ... (read in full...)

Cheater?? Just your first instinct, not full evaluation!

Q.   Ok... Just be straight... Being paranoid, or boyfriend totally cheating on me?? He has a friend contact, saved on his phone as "Wifey S" when questioned, said nothing to worry about, just a female friend.... what are your first thought... backgrou...

A.   30 January 2018: If there is no trust in a relationship its like being a house on sand. It will collapse. How much of your life do you want to waste on someone that can't trust? How much time are you going to spend worrying, looking over your shoulder, questioning ... (read in full...)

Do I contact him again?

Q.   im not sure how to go about this and would rather see it from other peoples views. A year ago i joined a dating site i met up with a guy i had already had 1 date with previously couple of years earlier. we drifted apart and lost contact. Anyway last ...

A.   29 January 2018: There is no reason to contact him again OP unless you want to be rejected. Who needs that? He told you the first time he wasn't interested. Leave it at that. No need to put yourself out there to possibly be hurt. Too many other men in the sea my ... (read in full...)

He seemed so into me, said he had no wrong intentions... Then why did he ghost me after that evening of no sex?

Q.   I commute to work and every Friday, as I'm waiting at my bus stop, a young man would come and wait for the bus as well. We would exchange polite nods of the head, smiles, "good mornings" and then both of us would retreat back to our cell phones, ...

A.   28 January 2018: I believe he thought you were going to be easy to get into bed and after realizing that you weren't just going to be so easy, he lost interest in the chase. Good for you. He isn't worth thinking about or wasting time over so be glad you got out ... (read in full...)

My job interviewed didn't offer me a job but asked me out on a date. Is this appropriate?

Q.   I am job hunting. I recently got call from one of the jobs I was interested. In the middle of the interview, the interviewer did not offer me the job due to my school schedule clashing with the days he had available. Instead he asked me out on a ...

A.   27 January 2018: The interviewer was unprofessional and out of line. He is trying to abuse his position of "power". Report him to his supervisor. ... (read in full...)

Married and seriously falling for my doctor

Q.   I am head over heels for my surgeon. I have been seeing him for about 4-5 months and my feelings keep getting stronger. There was only one time when I thought he might be interested. He told me I had a nice smile and put his hand on my thigh. Since ...

A.   23 January 2018: My husband is a doctor. A smart kind and handsome man. He has woman flirting with him all the time, getting crushes on him, slipping him phone numbers and acting all "cutesy". What does he think about it? His feelings vary from thinking its ... (read in full...)

Is he using me as a means to come to Canada?

Q.   Hello I married a man from Africa and I am Canadian. We have been together for 11 months and I am trying to get him to Canada. He has been good to me but very dominant and expects I be submissive and do whatever he says to me. If I don’t he ge...

A.   21 January 2018: If you truly trusted your husband you wouldn't be on here asking questions about him. Deep down inside you have serious doubts and from everything that you've told us, you SHOULD be having doubts. Majority rules here, I agree with all the other ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend shows no respect

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for 8 months now and we have been practically living together since day one. First off he is a total momma's boy, which I have no problem with. But I know he will never out me first before her. My problem is that he ...

A.   21 January 2018: "A really good person" doesn't degrade you, make you feel worthless and talk to you the way your boyfriend talks to you.He is abusive and will continue to act that way as long as you allow him to do so. Do you think so little of yourself that you ... (read in full...)

How do I handle troublesome ex?

Q.   My boyfriend had a son from a previous relationship. We have 2 children together now and one on the way. This ex of his won't let him see his other child, and talks a lot of nonsense about him on social media, whether it's directly or indirectly. I ...

A.   20 January 2018: In the words of one of our popular posters "Not my circus, not my monkeys". DO NOT get involved. DO NOT let her goad you into a fight. She is angry, bitter, jealous, ect. and just wants to get something started between the two of you. This is your ... (read in full...)

Is it mean to ghost someone who is nice but you just don't want to see anymore?

Q.   Would it be mean to ghost, a guy who treated you good for over six months, but it just isn't working for you, I don't want to cry when I break up with him in person, so I just want to block him, my girlfriend tells me, that be cruel,not giving him a ...

A.   19 January 2018: OP, I truly hope that you will reconsider your decision to ghost the man. It isn't easy breaking things off but if the man has been good to you and you spent 6 months together don't you think he deserves to know what is going on? Would you want ... (read in full...)

I'm in the relationship because of obligation and chivalry. Should I give her another chance or end it for good?

Q.   I have been with my girlfriend on and off for over 3 years. In the beginning she was a work colleague I was hesitant to get with her as although we flirted, played about together and eventually slept together, I wasn't looking for commitment. ...

A.   19 January 2018: If you don't love someone and can't give it your all then you aren't doing yourself or the lady any favors. It sounds like you just want out. Be kind and end it with her. Both of you should be happy and if you are happier without her you definitely ... (read in full...)

Apart from these issues my boyfriend is great.

Q.   I have been with my boyfriend for four months now. We get along really well. He use to be a well known player in our town. The sex is alright. He likes it better than me. Hence the fact I've had better lovers. The two issues I'm having are this: ...

A.   18 January 2018: I read your post first without looking at your age. OP, don't be offended but I immediately thought you were about 18-21...and then I looked at your age. Sweets..you are old enough and wise enough to KNOW that this guy isn't good for you. Don't let ... (read in full...)

His email to his brother hurts more than his affair

Q.   My partner and I have been together for 3 years in January, he cheated on me with someone I knew in October. In our bed When I was away for 2 days. When I came back he acted like nothing had happened but I knew in my heart and then my friends told ...

A.   10 January 2018: OP, in situations like this I always ask the poster to think what would they do if the situation being played out involved their sister/friend/mother. What would you tell them? I highly doubt if you tell them to stay in that kind of a relationship, ... (read in full...)

My best friend seems to want to end our friendship

Q.   I've been friendly with my pal David for over 30 years. He drives a taxi for private hire for a living.I provide computer fixing services. A month ago, for the first time ever, he referred a customer of his to me who had a computer problem. The...

A.   8 January 2018: Its really a shame to let a 30 year friendship end over what is more than likely just a simple misunderstanding. Reach out to him and explain things just like you did on here. Maybe for some reason he got the impression that you didn't finish the ... (read in full...)

We met online a week ago and already love each other

Q.   I have been divorced for almost 6 months and have been dating. I met someone online and when we met in person we both felt an instant connection. He has already told me he loves me and I have told him also. It has only been a week. I have never had ...

A.   6 January 2018: I caution you to not confuse infatuation/lust with love. They aren't the same thing. You are just getting to know each other and can't truly know one another after just a week. Spend time together, truly feel each other out, have deep conversations. ... (read in full...)

Do I contact him over this rude breakup?

Q.   I got in from work to find a email off my boyfriend saying because I'm not an animal person (he has a cat) it won't work out. I have a cat myself. He has blocked me off everything and I don’t know why so I can’t ask him. I knew he was having a few ...

A.   5 January 2018: It is very cowardly and hurtful the way he handled the breakup but somewhere down the road you are going to be glad that he ended things and you'll realize he was a jerk. Cry my dear get him out of your system and move on. A real man wouldn't end ... (read in full...)

I'm worried about the looks I will get if I buy condoms

Q.   Hi all, Recently, I got together with a guy and well, our relationship has been moving fairly quickly. I absolutely okay with how it's going. So, I was just wondering, he will coming to visit me at my own place (I live near my uni campus), and lik...

A.   2 January 2018: Why not do as honeypie suggested and go to a pharmacy that is further away from where you usually shop? Its less likely that you will run into people that you know. Just to put things into perspective....if you are worried about what kind of looks ... (read in full...)

I told my wife the truth and she is furious!

Q.   I have been married to my wife for about 11 years now and have 2 kids, a girl aged 8 and a boy aged 4. Recently I was on a night out with friends and were at this bar where we met a few girls and ended up going to their apartment which was nearby. ...

A.   29 December 2017: OP, its a good sign that you told your wife the truth rather than have her find out through someone else but honestly what did you expect her reaction to be? You didn't think she was going to hug you and kiss you and thank you for being honest did ... (read in full...)

Family troubles have me at my wits end

Q.   I’m in a tough spot. Due to some circumstances, I am living with my boyfriend and his siblings in their parents summer home. It was a very good living situation - none of us paid rent and we had a huge house to the four of us while his parent...

A.   26 December 2017: You are in an unfortunate situation. I agree with everything that youcannotbeserious said. One thing that I want to drive home to you is that 99% of the time "blood is thicker than water" holds true. The girl may be spoiled, may be a brat, her ... (read in full...)

He wants me to change, I want him to love me as I am.

Q.   I'm feeling kind of hopeless in the relationship I'm in. We'e been together nearly 10 months, age gap between us is 15 years. We get a long great, there is so much chemistry. We love each other very much. There is however an issue that we find ...

A.   13 December 2017: One of the biggest mistakes people can and do make is expecting their mate to change. It is a really bad way to think, it almost never works and one or both people wind up being disappointed and hurt. Everyone should love their partner for who they ... (read in full...)

Religion may be the stumbling block for us

Q.   I'm an atheist (born to Christian parents) and my fiancé is Christian. We both want kids. She recently asked me if I was willing to give them a Christian upbringing when they arrive. I want them to make the decision about a deity when they can think ...

A.   12 December 2017: I agree with O2DuszJ. Your views are total opposites and with the way that you both feel, unless someone crumbles and gives in a little, your relationship will always have this big rift in it. Religion is extremely important to some and they will ... (read in full...)

Red flags are everywhere. He's a nice guy but was I right to end it?

Q.   I met this guy online, tall, good looking, we met at a coffee shop right away and everything seemed fine until after I got home that night. He was texting me the longest messages I’ve ever seen. They were paragraphs. Usually guys tend to be the ones ...

A.   10 December 2017: I second the opinions of all the lovely aunts that have responded before me. I am confused as to why you went on a second date, let alone a 3rd date? When someone wants to move in with you after just 1 date that is a HUGE sign that something isn't ... (read in full...)

Was my childhood strange?

Q.   Hi Aunts and Uncles! I would really appreciate your help since I need some perspective on the relationship I had with my mom. I know she loved me and did the best she could, but I sometimes felt abandoned by her. She decided to have a ch...

A.   5 December 2017: I think almost anyone can understand why you would feel confused about your life as a child. At the very least I would say that you grew in a non quite conventional situation. Its really a shame that no one is left that you can talk to because there ... (read in full...)

Should I have an affair with a married man?

Q.   This is going to make me sound like a horrible person... Maybe I am. I've been infatuated with this man for months. I can tell he doesn't care about me emotionally because once I say no to a booty call, he says good bye. I'm not going to lie, I'...

A.   3 December 2017: No you shouldn't give in. You are young, impressionable and something like this could really give you a bad reputation. Is that what you want? There aren't too many people that look kindly upon people having affairs with a married party. Its not ... (read in full...)

Bereavement has hit our relationship

Q.   My partner's ex girlfriend killed herself 6 weeks ago, he took his pain + grief out on me. We have been together 6 years + 3 children. I don't see a way back. He is sleeping on the sofa since. Is it time to walk away. ...

A.   3 December 2017: I'm not sure that I can add any better advice than what has been given but I will throw my 2 cents worth in as well. Everyone grieves in their own way as has been stated. Some people get angry, some get distant, some cry all the time, some people ... (read in full...)

I'm in a horribly abusive relationship and I need a way out for me and my daughter

Q.   Hi basically just looking for some advise plz, I really don't know what to do or how to. Basically I haven't been happy with my partner we have been arguing lately quiet a lot we have a small child but the arguments ain't in front of her as he ...

A.   24 November 2017: I am sorry that you are living this way. I have been in this situation before with a small child and it is very frightening. You need to draw strength and protect your daughter at all costs. This isn't a good life for her and you need to remove this ... (read in full...)

I feel that my boyfriend's ex wife was living my dream life and I'll never match up to her

Q.   Dear Cupid, I am off for the next week due to holidays and as my boyfriend is working, I offered to work on clearing out his storage. Now he has an ex wife of 10 years(divorced in 2009) and I brought home a ton of boxes that were never unpacked. ...

A.   21 November 2017: Most people have a past, OP. Going int their 30's many people have been married before. Why are you comparing your life to his ex wife's? You aren't her, she isn't you and your boyfriend isn't how he was back then either. Why dwell on something from ... (read in full...)

I have been having an affair with a woman for 7 years and I am content. Is this strange?

Q.   I have been the male equivalent of a mistress for the past 7 years. Is it strange that I don't mind? I havent dated or even tried to date because I am just fine with having her a few times a month. I am 42 years old and never been married, but I ...

A.   20 November 2017: OP, while I was reading your post I just felt sad. You can tell yourself that you are content, but if you are then why are you on here? Something is missing. I believe that deep down inside you know this isn't a great situation. I think the other ... (read in full...)

The guy I've liked from afar is being a little wierd

Q.   Hi, I need some advice, I haven't dated in ages, I am 43, just went through a rough patch with major losses, illness etc, now better but I am still fragile. Anyway, since last year I meet maybe every 2/3 months this guy through work, older (I ...

A.   20 November 2017: Never mix business with pleasure is a good rule of thumb. Its not wise to date someone that you work with because the fallout (and yes these situations normally do not work out) can be devastating. If you must interact with this man ALWAYS remain ... (read in full...)

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