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*ystiquek

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People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

I've been on DC since 2007. I have seen just about everything you can imagine on here. I am a "softer" responder. I try to always give good advice with kindness. I genuinely want to help people and never want to hurt someone by the words I type since most people that come to DC are already hurting in some way.

Latest articles:

Don't be afraid to walk away when you know things are wrong. Never let someone undermine who you are!

This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted

4 November 2013: As we all know, being in a relationship isn't easy. It can be one of the most wonderful feelings in the world to be in love, but falling out of love or the break up of a relationship can also be one of the most painful experiences in life. ...

1234567891011Next > [44 pages, 1734 answers]

Why does she want a black dildo

Q.   Hi, my gf 27, me 34. recently mentioned she wants a dildo. So I said I will look for her. When we were looking she pointed she wanted a black one. We are white. So it made me think is she into black men? She doesn’t watch porn but I don’t know if ...

A.   18 March 2024: The only person that can answer this is her. Why don't you ask her? ... (read in full...)

Would it be acceptable for my cousin to walk me down the aisle at my wedding?

Q.   When I was 19 years old, I had a one night stand with a friend and ended up pregnant. My parents, who always been judgemental and verbally abusive kicked me out when they found out. My cousin, Justin, who is a year older than me, was always close...

A.   15 March 2024: Its your wedding and your day. Do what makes YOU happy....I'm sure your cousin would be touched. Its a very sweet gesture and it shows how much he means to you. As long as your hubby is cool with it, I would ask your cousin. Congratulations! I hope ... (read in full...)

Friend temporarily staying with me is costing me money and she isn't considerate

Q.   My friend is living with me temporarily until her apartment is ready. She went through a break up last year so had to sell her house and needed somewhere to stay until her new living place is ready. She’s been with me 2 weeks and it will pos...

A.   4 March 2024: The only thing probably worse than this is loaning money to a friend or family. Yuk...icky sticky situation! Its going to be an uncomfortable situation but you are going to have to sit down with her and explain that you really just can't afford to ... (read in full...)

My husband buys the worst gifts

Q.   It’s my birthday next week and I know my lovely husband has bought me an expensive gift. Unfortunately it’s not something that I want. I know that sounds so very ungrateful and even childish, but he does this every birthday, every an anniversary and ...

A.   3 March 2024: I don't think that most men mean to buy bad gifts its just that they are clueless. Isn't it easier to buy for your girlfriend sister mom than your husband or dad or male friend? Men usually just don't know. I was so lucky..my husband was so ... (read in full...)

Should I be suspicious of his ex-wife?

Q.   Friend with benefits just got out of the hospital for open heart surgery. His ex-wife has been at his house twice a day to cook breakfast and dinner since he came home, though I offered to help. Should I be suspicious that something more i...

A.   18 February 2024: If you are just FWB then what he does is really not your concern. If you want more and don't want to be used as you say then you'd have to talk to him. FWB relationships don't normally work because one person gets feelings. Basically in a FWB you ... (read in full...)

They sold their house without giving us a chance to make an offer!

Q.   My husband and I are a little upset with our neighbors and no idea why what happened, happened… We have been living in our house for 6 years. One of our neighbors who lives in our cul de sac has a beautiful bigger house. We’ve al...

A.   4 February 2024: It could be so many things maybe you did not make it clear maybe they thought you were being polite asking?? Or even just nosey..who know? At the end of.the day its their home and they can sell to whomever they want. They dont owe you anything. ... (read in full...)

My husband s a hoarder of cars and computers

Q.   Dear Cupid I am married to my spouse for last 6 years and been together for 10 years. No pets and no kids. I love my husband dearly. We both work full time and share our house workloads. Everything is great, but he has been hoarding cars an...

A.   31 January 2024: I think the best thing that you can do is to sit down and really have a heart to heart with your husband. If you have tried before you need to try again and make sure that he realizes how very much his hoarding is upsetting you. Maybe he truly ... (read in full...)

Should I limit exposure to my family for my mental health?

Q.   I am the youngest in a family if four. My sister's are 10 years older than me and brother is 5 years older. All I heard growing up was that my brother wanted a brother and a bike for his birthday. Well I was born on his birthday, but was a sister. ...

A.   29 January 2024: Yes you should absolutely put your mental wellbeing first and dont feel badly about it! The members of your family sound toxic. Why deal with people that make you unhappy. Just because they are family doesnt mean they are nice! ... (read in full...)

Curiosity killed the cat

Q.   Curiosity got the best of me. I am almost certain she isn’t honest but I feel bad because I don’t think she’s comfortable but I asked my friend indirectly if she was gay. It’s several reasons why I want to know and think she is. Anyways when I asked ...

A.   22 January 2024: She obviously didn't feel comfortable to discuss the subject and then you talked to others about it and she didn't like that. She doesn't want to be friends because it would appear she doesn't trust you. ... (read in full...)

Something just feels off about him

Q.   I started seeing this guy at the end of November 2023. On our second date, he asked me about my dating history and he proceeded to tell him his. He told me he still talks daily to his most recent ex and that she is always asking him to get back ...

A.   22 January 2024: He at least is honest that he is dating someone else. Its hard to say what his true intentions are. Do you like him enough to hang around and wait to see? Or do you want to be the only one he dates? It would be easy for me. I don't want to be a ... (read in full...)

Unhappy with hairdresser should I call and tell her or put it on social media?

Q.   Been going to the same hairdressers 2 years now, Before that I went to another one for longer. I always get my roots done and a wash and blow dry and it costs £60. The one I go to now is never been as good as the one I went to years ago. This hai...

A.   19 January 2024: I would be polite and reach out to the hairdresser first. Its not really fair to trash her without at least giving her a chance to try to make you happy. Honestly? I'd stop going there. What is the point of saving some money if you are unhappy every ... (read in full...)

Friend's style changed dramatically after breakup

Q.   Concern over friend Friend recently had a break up about 6 weeks ago. She works at a school and went from dressing very girly/feminine like skirts and dresses everyday. She still wears dresses but now dresses in all black daily and wears litera...

A.   2 January 2024: This happened to my daughter after her divorce. She totally changed her appearance. She cut and dyed her beautiful strawberry blonde hair black, then red and kept changing the style. She started dressing far differently than she had before. It ... (read in full...)

Difficult parents to support

Q.   Hello, I am very tired dealing with my mum because she has been complaining about my dad and the marriages for years. They have been married for more than 50 years and she never been happy but have stayed with him, He is very controlling, she...

A.   26 October 2023: There comes a point where you just have to accept that people often like to complain but don't want to change things. Its almost like they love dwelling in their misery. My story is similar to yours. My parents were married for 53 years before my ... (read in full...)

FWB not working out and I want more

Q.   I stopped sleeping with FWB recently because he insulted me. He said I wanted more and was into drama because I questioned him about a woman that was in his vehicle (ex wife) because they had to take care of a bank issue. Not questioning WHY she was ...

A.   20 October 2023: FWB relationships rarely work out because one person cant just leave it for what its supposed to be...sex only. Its pretty natural but doesnt bode well for the fwb aspect. Someone is always going to get hurt. I honestly don't know how people can be ... (read in full...)

Our neighbors sold their house and never told us

Q.   We lived next to our neighbors for 15 years and always had a good rapport so it came as a bit of a shock when my husband and I came back from 2 weeks away and found they had sold their house and we had new neighbors. They never mentioned ...

A.   10 October 2023: There could be many reasons why they didn't tell you about the sale. Maybe they couldn't afford to live there? Maybe one of them had a job transfer? Maybe they didn't like the neighborhood? Perhaps they were embarrassed to tell you? I certainly ... (read in full...)

We are in love but worried what our families will think of our relationship

Q.   I’m 40 and for just over a year I’ve been seeing a man who is 66. We are both divorced. I have no children (and not planning or wanting any). He has 2 grown up children and a 14 month old grandchild. We have kept our relationship quiet as we...

A.   2 October 2023: Life is short. Everyone deserves to be happy. The kids are adults and should be mature enough to deal with the situation. You shouldn't have to be hiding. Tell people and if they don't like it or can't accept things..well that's on them, isnt it? ... (read in full...)

Colleague ruined spa day. Do I inform management of her behavior?

Q.   My workplace paid for myself and a colleague to a spa day last week as we were the top 2 in our team with the highest sales records. Often they treat staff members who have hit target with things like this and this was both our first time. ...

A.   27 September 2023: I can see two ways of handling this. Ask to speak to your manager in private and explain things and tell them that you had a good time but the co worker made things uncomfortable. or, if the two of you are together, you could say "Well I certainly ... (read in full...)

Why is my fwb being so disrespectful

Q.   I've been seeing a FWB for sometime. We do things together. Hang out, go out in his boat, go to dinner sometimes. Lately he seems irritated by something. We went to his condo on the beach in his truck. It was really a hot day. I asked if he could ...

A.   19 August 2023: This is the problem with FWB relationships. They start out as no strings attached and then invariably one person grows feelings for the other. These relationships normally don't work out and one person walks away hurt. You can't make someone care ... (read in full...)

Neighbors keep interfering since we put our house up for sale…

Q.   My husband and I have put our house up for sale as we are looking to move away to a different town due to my husband’s job. We have lived in our house for 12 years. Our neighbors (who lived there long before we arrived) are nice enough but just ...

A.   18 August 2023: I will just reiterate what others have said. I don't think your neighbors mean to be pains in the butt...although they are! Older people sometimes have too much time on their hands and too much energy. Its understandable that they are ... (read in full...)

Shall I confront my neighbor or not?

Q.   My neighbor, on several occasion, whilst I have been away has looked after my indoor rabbits. I’ve never had any issues with her coming to my house and looking after them. My bunnies have their own allocated big room downstairs which is rabb...

A.   11 August 2023: I guess it depends on how good of terms you wish to stay with your neighbor because regardless of you being right and having proof, I highly doubt that the conversation would go very well. More than likely they will try to deny it or laugh it off ... (read in full...)

Do I deserve my punishment?

Q.   just over a week ago we broke up from school i am 15 me and some of my friends went out and drunk some alcohol we then became loud and started the throw dustbins around by this time we were all drunk, the police were called and i was put in the ...

A.   2 August 2023: Yes you do. Your parents are actually being alot more lenient that other parents would be. Are you the girl who constantly gets into trouble and then writes on DC wanting us to feel sorry for you? I'm pretty sure you are. Advice? Stop being a ... (read in full...)

Why did my friend's daughter think I was going to surprise her with something I couldn't afford?

Q.   Not really a question but just an odd situation i found myself in…? My friend invited me to join her and her 11 years old daughter to a trip to the zoo. Her daughter really wanted to do an animal encounter but it was ridiculously expensive so...

A.   1 August 2023: Wow I don't know if I would call the woman a friend. She set you up and now you look like the bad guy. I think I'd be backing away from this friendship. How horrible to do this to you and her daughter. Who knows wht she told her daughter! I think I ... (read in full...)

Should I just accept the way things are with my family?

Q.   I’m really struggling right now and need some help, advice and a bit of love please, Cupid friends. I just feel like my life is falling apart. Especially when it comes to my family. It’s super complex, but I have alcoholic parents who were very em...

A.   25 July 2023: There are movies about the perfect family and yes, some people seem to be lucky enough to have the perfect family but most of us do not. Some families are far worse than others. Its hard when you are a child, because you don't really have much say ... (read in full...)

His remark has me wondering if I should end our friendship?

Q.   I'm a 51 year old woman who is currently single (been divorced 10 years now). I had a relationship with another man two years younger than me straight after I got divorced - a rebound I guess - but this ended up with me finding out he had gone back ...

A.   19 July 2023: He sounds like a smart aleck. Maybe he's trying to be funny but whatever he doesn't seem all that grateful for you being there when he needed someone. I wouldn't continue on with the friendship. He does not appreciate you. ... (read in full...)

Should I text him and ask where we stand or should I end it?

Q.   My boyfriend asked me for space and time after we had a misunderstanding and it’s been a month now of no contact. When I see him at public events he stares at me when he thinks I’m not looking but he makes no effort to come talk to me and doesn’t ...

A.   18 July 2023: I would say its over and he wasn't man enough to come right and tell you. Block him, delete him whatever you need to do. You deserve better. Don't spend too much time thinking about him. He isn't worth it. ... (read in full...)

Why does this couple act this way?

Q.   I really don't know what to think of these people's behavior. Can you help me make sense of it? This couple live near me. I have said hello to the lady, just in passing, 3 times (in case she maybe hadn't heard me for some reason). Both her and her...

A.   17 July 2023: The odds are that you are never going to know why they act as they do. I wouldn't waste my time worrying about it. Just assume that they are a little strange and forget it. I keep a polite but distant attitude with my neighbors. When seeing them I ... (read in full...)

He's a millionaire but says money is tight. Is he testing me?

Q.   I’ve been divorced for 2 years. Separated in 2019. I haven’t dated in many years. Now it’s online dating which is daunting and sometimes intimidating. I’m aware this question is ignorant and judgmental. Please go easy on me. I met another divorcee ...

A.   12 July 2023: Just because a person "has money" doesn't truly mean that they have access to the money so he may be telling the truth. It could be tied up in a trust fund, stocks or bonds or investments. Who knows? He could also be testing you, its hard to say. If ... (read in full...)

He uses my secrets against me

Q.   How do you deal with a bf who uses your secrets against you? We've been together about 2 years. Whenever he argues which is quite abit he decides to throw things on my face. For example I ruined all my relationships and I can't keep a man, I'm ...

A.   7 July 2023: Walk away. Plain and simple. The man is a jerk. ... (read in full...)

Coworker questioning my virginity and sexuality

Q.   Please help me address/respond to a nosy coworker. In the past I went to her about questions regarding guys/dating and that I told a guy something about me and I think it freaked him out. It was about my weight and how heavy I used to be-but she ...

A.   7 July 2023: She is out of line not to mention rude. You owe her no answers and no explanations. I would look her straight in the eye and tell her that its none of her business and if she doesn't stop it then you will report her. I believe what she is doing ... (read in full...)

Dealing with a narcisstic man

Q.   Has anyone ever dealt with a narcissistic man in a relationship? I am living with a guy who never says he is wrong. No matter what he does, it’s my fault, my mistake, my actions that has caused an argument or a disagreement. He’s always adding o...

A.   7 July 2023: This is where you stop trying to fix things or change things and walk away. This type of person is a soul crusher. Get out now..and actually don't walk...RUN! ... (read in full...)

How to deal with a boyfriend who always asks for money?

Q.   How to deal with a boyfriend who always asks for money? We've been together 2 years now and in this time he always asks for money. His latest request is his rent for $1500.00. He is always out of work. Some excuse. I need to focus on my own ...

A.   4 July 2023: You already know what you need to do. You just don't want to cut the cord but you need to. He thinks of you as an ATM, a cash cow. He will continue to sponge off of you as long as you allow it. Just say no. Say it and mean it. He will either accept ... (read in full...)

Friend got birth control and lied

Q.   My friend Lex I just found out rode her bike to what's basically an abortion clinic and got birth control. She told her parents she was with me and I almost got in trouble for lying for her when I knew nothing about it. Luckily I was at work like I ...

A.   4 July 2023: It was wrong of your friend to lie but I guess she was desperate. She confided in you and whether you agree with her morals or not, its not your secret to tell. I wouldnt tell her parents...the truth will come out eventually. I would just steer ... (read in full...)

Friend got birth control and lied

Q.   My friend Lex I just found out rode her bike to what's basically an abortion clinic and got birth control. She told her parents she was with me and I almost got in trouble for lying for her when I knew nothing about it. Luckily I was at work like I ...

A.   4 July 2023: It was wrong of your friend to lie but I guess she was desperate. She confided in you and whether you agree with her morals or not, its not your secret to tell. I wouldnt tell her parents...the truth will come out eventually. I would just steer ... (read in full...)

I don't want to act jealous

Q.   My FWB let his ex wife watch his cats while he was away. He has 4. I wasn't available. She stayed at his home 3 weeks while he was away, and I'm fine with that. She left pieces of clothing and incidentals in his home. She wants to pick them up she ...

A.   3 July 2023: Sorry but being a FWB isn't the same as being a girlfriend. Its basically a no strings relationship and you can both do what you want unless you have made different arrangements. Afraid he can do whatever he wants and so can you. FWB relationships ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's 10 year old daughter is coming between us

Q.   Hi I am with my bf he’s frum Dublin I feel like she is trying to keep him away frum me she is only 10 I feel like I’m in the middle between me and his daughter she’s kinda annoying I just want to be with him not his kids. I don’t know what to do ...

A.   30 June 2023: Put yourself in the girl's place. She's 10 so she isn't mature and doesn't reason like an adult. She sees you as a threat. You are taking her dad's time. Surely you can see that right? Children are very protective of their parents! I remember how ... (read in full...)

Think my husband hates being a father. It's affecting our relationship

Q.   I feel as though my "Don" husband hates being a father and regrets it. Our son "Johnny" is 4. We are both early 30s. Don makes snide jokes all the time about his intelligence, his abilities, etc. He doesn't really enjoy spending time with him and ...

A.   27 June 2023: I don't know if your marriage is over but its sure floundering and needs help. Your husband honestly sounds like a jerk. His behavior is definitely noticed by your son even at his young age. Family counselling? Your husband's attitude is awful and I ... (read in full...)

Should I move on or Stay with my mama boy fiance?

Q.   I have been with my fiance since we were 16 years old we are now 31. we have 2 kids together and in April he proposed. As much as I love him and he really is the love of my life. I feel I have always bent over backwards for him. We had one ...

A.   25 June 2023: The best thing that the two of you would be to move out and be on your own if at all possible. That might stop alot of the problems.I would imagine its rather uncomfortable living with family especially having 2 kids. To answer your question... (read in full...)

No one will let me move on after placing my daughter for adoption

Q.   I had a baby two years ago, my senior year in High School. It was in the middle of the pandemic, so I was home schooled anyway (because of the pandemic) and my parents were really pressuring me to keep the baby. The father was in my class, but he ...

A.   23 June 2023: I am sad for you and sorry that you don't have more understanding people surrounding you. I got pregnant at 19 and was absolutely terrified. You were even younger than I was, a baby having a baby. You must have been so terribly confused and ... (read in full...)

11 years with a non romantic man

Q.   I have been with my SO for 11 years. We have two beautiful girls together. My problem is that he is not romantic. He doesn't put in effort into our relationship. There is never a night where he plans something, I have to plan any and everything w...

A.   22 June 2023: Most people don't like to change. We all have a certain way that we are and what we like to do and don't do. Changing means putting in effort and hard work and really trying...most people are happy enough the way that they are and thats it. ... (read in full...)

Yelled at several times for being helpful, was I in the wrong??

Q.   ?I’ve had a few pretty horrible things happen to me over the past couple of weeks when I was honestly just trying to be helpful - please read and let me know if I was in the wrong in any of these situations as I will never try to help anyone a...

A.   20 June 2023: I dont think you were in the wrong. You were just trying to be a kind and thoughtful caring person. People can be so weird! I don't know exactly what it is but people are just stupid and thoughtless and rude. There isn't anything you can do about ... (read in full...)

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