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| | birdynumnums's profile:I am old enough to know Not answer how old I am, wise enough to Not presume that I know all the answers, have lived in enough countries Not to assume any prejudices - and my Husband, Children and my love of Art make me tick. Have recently become a sailor and am swashbuckling on the high seas. Argh! *raising pirate hook* |
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| Latest articles: Tips for New Parents!
This question has 10 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 July 2009: One of our agony aunts is going to have a baby soon, so I thought it might be nice to send her our best wishes and our tips, the practices on parenting that we have learned from our experiences! I'll start the ball rolling - - If you don't want a...
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I am tired of this woman texting my husband with her problems!
Q. my husband continues to be friends with a woman that i don't approve of. i told him several times that she wants more than that,but he says i'm just jealous. everytime she has drama in her life she text him at least 15 to 20 times and believe me is ...
A. 4 November 2009: The whole "I have a problem" thing is a to appeal to your guys's protective, manly side.
Is is a ploy.
A ruse.
It is the classic other woman's way of getting into your guy's emotional psyche.
You seriously need to lower the boom.
This woma... (read in full...)
Is Polycystic Ovarian Synrome hereditary?
Q. my sister has just found out that she has Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome and she is trying for a baby. The doctor said it may be harder for her to conceive because of this. Does anyone know if it is hereditary?? Its just that a few years ago when i was ...
A. 3 November 2009: Which means you also have a 50% chance of not getting it as well! Ask your doctor about the possibility of getting screening, even if you aren't planning on having kids soon, especially if you are losing sleep over this. At least, if you do find ... (read in full...)
He's gay, but I really really like him.
Q. I am falling in love with my relationships councilor and don't know how to stop feeling like this. I ended my marriage 1 yr ago cause my husband was having sex with men.We were married for 18 years so I am not some ditzy young thing with a silly ...
A. 1 November 2009: Falling for your therapist while you are in therapy is called transference. You feel that his understanding you, his 'getting' all you problems is an ["unconscious redirection of feelings for one person to another. One definition of transference is ... (read in full...)
I'm having a hard time because of the long distance, how can I get him to be more expressive with me?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been with each other for sometime.We are now in a long distance relationship because of employment. We still manage to see each other 3 weekends a month. We still get along great and have great sex when together. We are both ...
A. 22 October 2009: When a guy who "used to be a player" does finally call someone their girlfriend and responds to every e-mail that you send by saying "well, you should move out here if you are lonely" - then I think that you HAVE a commitment from a guy who ... (read in full...)
Does anyone know why I'm still huring?
Q. ok so i had my appendix out a month ago...the surgeon says my inside will be healed... on the removal of my appendix they said it was abnormal but on further test it showed to be normal i am still in severe pain anyone have any ideas as to what it ...
A. 20 October 2009: A.S.A.P.
As soon as possible.... (read in full...)
Does anyone know why I'm still huring?
Q. ok so i had my appendix out a month ago...the surgeon says my inside will be healed... on the removal of my appendix they said it was abnormal but on further test it showed to be normal i am still in severe pain anyone have any ideas as to what it ...
A. 20 October 2009: A doctor's diagnosis is like a triangle. Like the one that they teach in science class about fire. In order to produce fire, you need three things - heat, oxygen and fuel. A doctor needs three things - his skills, a physical exam, and what you ... (read in full...)
Can my abusive ex be any different second time around?
Q. My abusive ex bf wants me back. But I dont understand why. The reason he dumped me in the first place was because I wouldn't let him control and abuse me, I would stand up for myself. So why would he want me back if I stood up for myself? Does h...
A. 20 October 2009: He lost control over you so he wants that back. Does that make sense?
Check out this checklist and see if anything ELSE rings a bell...
http://www.familyshelterservice.org/assess.html... (read in full...)
Can my abusive ex be any different second time around?
Q. My abusive ex bf wants me back. But I dont understand why. The reason he dumped me in the first place was because I wouldn't let him control and abuse me, I would stand up for myself. So why would he want me back if I stood up for myself? Does h...
A. 19 October 2009: I think he just wants "Round Two". You already know what to expect from him, and with all the men there are in the world, why put yourself back in such a precarious position? This reminds me of the old saying, "Fool me once, shame on you, Fool me ... (read in full...)
Am I crazy or is he tripping?
Q. I just need opinions as to whether or not im crazy or is this dood trippin? lol Met up w/ this guy as a movie buddy.Wednesday: met at a bar to see if we meshed.He said he'd stay a bit but stayed all night and txted me after to say he had a goo...
A. 18 October 2009: I think it wasn't hanging out, it WAS dating to him, and he told you that it wasn't working for him. In other words - he never saw you as a friend, he thought he was interested, now he's not, and he doesn't want to hang out. Most guys don't hang ... (read in full...)
I'm having doubts about living with my boyfriend...
Q. hi im kinda a bit confused with this the thing is im not sure if i really want to live with my bf permantly i stayed at his for bout 8 weeks he lives about 5 hours away b4 coming bk home to my parents it was gd and all but now im back home i keep ...
A. 18 October 2009: Once you are living together, and you are supporting yourselves, and you have sex, why would he ever ask you to marry him - should you want to make it legal? There have been so many women who have written in to DC asking why they are still waiting ... (read in full...)
Why did the drunken 'you're hot' texts stop now that we're dating?
Q. This is probaly gonna sound stupid but... back before summer, this guy liked me, and whenever he went on a night out I would recieve drunk texts and phone calls. They basically said 'Your hot.' or 'I want you.' Ya know usual guy stuff. Now we have ...
A. 17 October 2009: Hell, ring him and tell him HE'S hot. Guys love it!!! Turn the tables on him and you'll blow his socks off!!!... (read in full...)
Is it possible for Mr./Mrs. Right to not be into you?
Q. Quick question. Do you think that the person who you love and who doesn't love you back is simply not right for you? Or is it possible to know Mr. or Mrs. Right, the only issue is that he or she is just not that into you? Thanks....
A. 15 October 2009: The right person is one who loves you back, of course. Devotion has to be mutual, and love and relationships just don't work if the other person isn't into you too. There isn't just one person who is "Mr. or Mrs. Right", it's a matter of fit. ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to change his thought that I'm controlling him?
Q. I found out from a friend my boyfriend created a facebook today. I dislike social networkings like that because myspace caused so many problems between us before. I stopped going on it but I let him continue to go on it. One day, during summer, we ...
A. 15 October 2009: "We had trust issues" is a blanket statement that explains nothing.
"He looks and I get jealous" is what this sounds like.
You need to find a trustworthy guy, one that doesn't look! All the Aunts seem to be saying the same thing and are in a... (read in full...)
How do I tell my family I wan't to be a woman?
Q. Hey, im an 18year old male, and i want to turn into a woman, im just scared of what my family will say and will they disown me thats what im scared about, im always wearing ladies clothes like thongs and bras when family are out, but when they are ...
A. 15 October 2009: Well, you are old enough to move out. That would be your first step in becoming who you wish to be. Becoming independent and emancipated and standing on your own two feet is always a good way to prove to your parents that you can make your own ... (read in full...)
How do I get my boyfriend to change his thought that I'm controlling him?
Q. I found out from a friend my boyfriend created a facebook today. I dislike social networkings like that because myspace caused so many problems between us before. I stopped going on it but I let him continue to go on it. One day, during summer, we ...
A. 15 October 2009: Please don't tell me to tell my BF to keep his fb page, just figure out how I can whitewash my controlling behavior? Um, Lie?
It's pretty obvious from what you have written that you have been jealous about something that you saw on his wall, and ... (read in full...)
18 months later and b/f still doesn't have a job..time to leave?
Q. Please can you advise me although I think I may know the answer already.... I have been with my current boyfriend for 18 months after being friends for about 4 years. Previously I had always gone for 'bad' boys and was in a relationship where th...
A. 12 October 2009: You are far too young to become a mother, and that is what he has turned you into.
You need to move on. You aren't married, so that's probably a good thing, even if you both pitched in and moved in together. You actually didn't take vows with... (read in full...)
His ex still wants him back after 2 years
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months now and we've been friends for six years. He was with his ex-girlfriend for two years, lets call her Erin they had a very intense relationship which ended 8 months before we got ...
A. 9 October 2009: Do you two live together?
If you do, then you have a problem, because you will need to move out to prove your point. If you don't then all you have to do is break up with him.
People can only treat you how you let them. No married person w... (read in full...)
I can't get over his dirty magazine habits!
Q. Hi All, i cant believe im am writing and asking for advice, ive always been the one giving out advice and never needed any before. I am one of these that tackle any problems i have had in my life and then just get on with it. But im at a loose en...
A. 8 October 2009: I totally agree with Q, who is always brilliant. I think that I just dented the drywall. Ouch.... (read in full...)
I can't get over his dirty magazine habits!
Q. Hi All, i cant believe im am writing and asking for advice, ive always been the one giving out advice and never needed any before. I am one of these that tackle any problems i have had in my life and then just get on with it. But im at a loose en...
A. 6 October 2009: 'I love him so much, he is my soulmate.'
Then stop expecting him to not be a Man. Guys look. It's in their nature. If it weren't then there would be no need for porn. The number one use of the internet IS PORN. Who is looking at it? Wome... (read in full...)
I don't know what to do with this fine, Mexican boy!!
Q. im still trying to get a boyfriend without being so desperate. im mean ive been asked out a few times, but not by the right guys. Here's a follow up. Ok, last year ive been looking up ways to suduce, flirt, all kinds of stuff with this one boy. It...
A. 5 October 2009: Excuse me, but where the heck did that tag line come from? Erm?... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't want to be touched anymore!
Q. Hello everyone. My wife don't like to be touched anymore and she don't really care about sex anymore. What am I to do? My wife claims that she is so busy but she just go to school. I mean this situation causes many agruments and makes me wonder ...
A. 5 October 2009: When 'she goes out with her friends', do you mean her other 'mommy' friends - and is she also 'out' with them and their children?
'Cause that's not down time, that's her new job, and believe me, that's work! If that's the case, hanging with a bu... (read in full...)
Is it considered rude if you don't swallow?
Q. I just recentley started having sex with my boyfriend (we've only been together 2 weeks) so, i know people say swallowing is a way of showing them you love them. but like i just .. can't.. it makes me gag, so like, at a guys point of view, what ...
A. 5 October 2009: "It usually takes me about two week to decide on a new pair of shoes, and they only go on my feet."
Blame it on the movie - "Clueless".
Which started with famous line...
"As IF!!!"....... (read in full...)
Suggestions on a hateful daughter?
Q. I have a daughter age 36, she is has become so hateful, mean and arrogant and eccentric I don't even know who she is anymore. Over the past 10 yrs she has taken Zoloft and I truly believe it is changing her personality. She explodes in anger for ...
A. 5 October 2009: Obviously your family problems go farther than your daughters bouts with Zoloft and her outbursts. This is what family counseling is for, to reach a resolution between parties and find the reasons why they are there. It isn't always easy, and you ... (read in full...)
I am starting to feel more possessive after our 'fooling around' sessions!
Q. I'm 28 suffering from bouts of depression. Started talking to a friend over a phone who, I don't even like that much but, suddenly we started flirting. I went over to his place and we fooled a bit. No intercourse just oral sex. He does'nt love me ...
A. 5 October 2009: Women get emotionally involved after having sex. Oral sex is sex. Therefore, you are feeling that you are getting closer to him, Only because you have had some relations, knowing full well what an insensitive jerk he is and has always been.
Y... (read in full...)
Is it more common for a guy to text a girl he likes, before bed, or after school?
Q. I go to an all-girl school, and the only way to go to homecoming is to be asked by a boy at the all-guy's school right next door. My friends set me up with one of their guy friends that I'd never met so that we could all go as a group. He was ...
A. 2 October 2009: It's kind of a compliment to be the last person that he wants to talk to at night.
I would only be worried if he was calling late at night purposefully. As long as he doesn't ask you to send pictures or say things of a sexual nature which woul... (read in full...)
Is this an orgasm?
Q. Hello everyone :) i have a rather odd question to ask. But here it goes. When im mastutbating and it feels rly good and all the sudden like my muscles dont there clench and unclench a couple times. Is that an orgasm. And is it normal for my mu...
A. 2 October 2009: Yes and yes.... (read in full...)
How do I tell this guy that I love him?
Q. Dear agony aunts, I have been crushing on this guy for about a year now, and I believe it may even be love at, well, second sight. We're really good friends now and he seems to be flirting with me a lot. I don't want to sound like another obsessed ...
A. 2 October 2009: Don't drop the "L" bomb. It's something that you can't take back, once it's out there - and you don't want it hanging out there if he isn't ready to say it back yet!
Talk about how you feel instead. It's okay to say 'I think that you are sooo... (read in full...)
Is there such thing as love at first sight?
Q. Is there such thing as love at first sight? Iv met this girl and only been out with her a few times and something just feels right about it and like we have a connection, i didnt want to sat anything but she said thats how she felt the same wa...
A. 1 October 2009: Well, I have always thought that if there was only one true love or soulmate for each person, that it would be a real bummer if they were born in Moscow and you were born in San Francisco! But knowing that you are truly compatible and falling in ... (read in full...)
I married him to be accepted, but don't feel passion
Q. I married my brother's best friend. We have been married for five years and now have a one year old child. I was the black sheep of the family and in a lot of ways, married him to be accepted. We get along well, as friends. But I don't feel ...
A. 1 October 2009: I think you know that no matter what choice you make, you will leave something behind and regret it, but that is what a decision is. You make it between two perfectly good choices, wanting both.
If what you are asking is what is the RIGHT thin... (read in full...)
She wants to get married even though she's told me she doesn't love me. What?
Q. She has asked me to marry her even though she hs told me she doesn't love me and that she is not 100% with me. What should I do now? A month ago I read my partner's notes (they were left laying around when I went to her place at her request to c...
A. 28 September 2009: Anyways, there is a line from "Sleepless in Seattle" that goes something like this.
"Marriage is hard enough to go into it with such low expectations. I don't want to be someone who ANYONE settles for."
I thought it might be relevant.
... (read in full...)
Frequently late periods ...
Q. my wife always geting peroid late. 2-3 times she geting period late. but she not pregent. 2 years back we married. but i thought she pregant last month but some time timea brownish clour water cuming.some time time like dropd blood coming. but now ...
A. 25 September 2009: Women can spot throughout the month if it is normal for them during their cycle. Many women spot during ovulation, which is two weeks before your period. It's not uncommon to spot brownish or bright red spots, even if you are pregnant, but if it ... (read in full...)
I'm a 36C, do I still need breast implants?
Q. Ive always loved my breasts. Im a full 36c. Well a few months ago my bf at the time always made fun of my breasts saying that they were small and sagging(im only 18, there's no way their saggy). We would have sex and he would still comment on them. ...
A. 25 September 2009: hahaha! pinktopaz beat me to the punch. Telling a girl that her breasts are too small is the same as telling a guy that his penis is too small, just insulting and the WRONG thing to say to someone who thought well enough of you to sleep with you. ... (read in full...)
My partner doesn't want our baby.
Q. Hi, I am 30yrs old and I just found out that I am pregnant 3 days ago. Me and my partner have been together for 2 years he already has 3 children and his reaction when I told him I was pregnant was like I ruined his life. We did use birth control ...
A. 24 September 2009: Who do you want to protect?
I think you already know the answer to your question, you just don't want to hear it. He isn't the best partner or the best father - is he?
I'd be hurt by his reaction too if I were you.
But, I still come back to... (read in full...)
Do you gain weight after getting your tubes tied?
Q. Me and my man have decided that after the second baby that we didnt want anymore children. So i would like to have my tubes tied. But alot of women have said that when u get your tubes tied you gain alot of weight is that true? ...
A. 24 September 2009: Definitely, don't rely on this as you last and definitive answer, you do need the help of an OB/GYN, as the last writer said. I am a 54 year old woman with kids who has been there and done that, but I'm not a Doctor, by any means. You should ask ... (read in full...)
He's never been good at relationships but what is your opinion?
Q. Ive known this guy for 4-5 yrs - Lets call him "Robert".We were friends and some point jumped into intimacy. He was a drinker who expressed his naughty feelings for me and would be touchy feely in public,get jealous when I was w/ other guys.We ...
A. 24 September 2009: He sounds really needy. And too needy to be a good prospective boyfriend/relationship/partner. I'd listen to your instincts and let him go. You obviously are confused because you have been 'friends', you are 'attracted' to him, but you are simply ... (read in full...)
Should I go back to work with my ex? He'll be my boss.
Q. I and my bf (ex now)we used to work in the same company ,he was my boss too ,it was job he offered to me, so I had to resign from my previous job , due to some circumstances in the company , they cancelled my job for sometimes , they send me home , ...
A. 24 September 2009: Look for work elsewhere.... (read in full...)
Is urinating inside each other okay?
Q. Okay, my boyfriend and i are both into a fetish called watersports. It's got alot to do with urination. Well my boyfriend likes it when i pee in him, and vice versa, but i was wondering if it was okay? Like, is it safe for us to be urinating inside ...
A. 24 September 2009: Urine is sterile, if that helps.... (read in full...)
Do you gain weight after getting your tubes tied?
Q. Me and my man have decided that after the second baby that we didnt want anymore children. So i would like to have my tubes tied. But alot of women have said that when u get your tubes tied you gain alot of weight is that true? ...
A. 24 September 2009: There is an old wives tale that you automatically gain when you have a radical hysterectomy, which can be a bit true because you lose your ovaries and go into menopause overnight, but doctors these days who would do that kind of radical surgery (for ... (read in full...)
I enjoy masturbation more than sex...is this normal?
Q. ive just started having regular sex with my boyfriend of 2 years (ive not been old enough for long) and i seem to find i masterbation more than sex....is this normal and will it change...
A. 23 September 2009: Well, it would seem that you are more relaxed with yourself than with him - small wonder as you are only young and may not yet feel totally comfortable about ALL of the myriads of possible outcomes that having a sexual relationship can affect on ... (read in full...)
Relationship of three years and finding sexual texting from other women,
Q. Hello, I have been with my b/f for 3 years, We have been living together for a little bit over a year. Recently (4 1/2 months ago) I found texts from women on his phone to him. One girl wrote " No I wont allow it! Do what you want to do but I...
A. 23 September 2009: Of course you know what to believe. Believe in what you have seen with your own two eyes. Believe that he is continually lying to you, because he is. Believe that he is lying to get out of this, because that's what he has done, by telling you ... (read in full...)
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