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*unty BimBim

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He wants us to get married but to keep it secret!

Q.   Ok here is my story. My boyfriend of 7 months is asking me to marry him secretly in summer and not telling anyone because he wants to give his 14 years old child enough time to feel more comfortable. we want to buy a house as I don't want to move ...

A.   30 March 2017: Secret marriage? Are you sure he isn't still married somewhere else? It all seems a bit dodgy to me. Also you say HE is pushing for a big wedding and honeymoon, HE is wanting a wedding in the fall, however you also say he wants to marry in the s... (read in full...)

I want more sex but he would rather masturbate to porn with young girls with boobs!

Q.   We have lived together 2.5 years. I'm 44 with 2 grown up kids living at home, he is 40. He works 10.5 hour days with an extra hour on top for travelling and claims to be too tired for sex. We will usually have sex once a week, sometimes twice a week ...

A.   27 March 2017: You have told him you don't like porn in the relationship and he agreed to stop but it has happened at least 5 times since then ..... So, what are YOU going to do now, he doesn't have enough sex with you and he uses porn which you have asked hi... (read in full...)

I am confused! Why didn't my professor call when I left her my number?

Q.   I'm in 4th year of Psychology school, and I am 23 years old. There's this older professor (a woman, in fact). She was married a few times (five, to be exact, all to men), there are rumors that she hooks up with students (not sure which sex), and ...

A.   27 March 2017: She is your professor, and you are her student, it really is none of your business what goes on inside her head, it is also none of your business if she has been married five times nor if those marriages were to men or women. Stop with the goss... (read in full...)

Going silent on me after I asked him how he felt about me by telling me he would talk to me when he is ready.

Q.   Hi. I don't know what to make of my bf's behavior. I asked him a week and a half ago ago who he felt about me, because we are in a long distance relationship and do not get to see one another very often. I don't know how he feels about me, th...

A.   26 March 2017: What a horrible, manipulative controlling person he sounds. You are correct when you say you can't accept his behaviour as healthy! I doubt very much he has broken up with you but more wishes to punish you for bringing up subjects he doesn't ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry

Q.   My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...

A.   25 March 2017: If your boyfriend's income, whether he owns a business or is an employee or contractor, depends on him taking clients to lunch, or to a bar, then he is effectively working and private phone calls could, in the vast majority of cases, be deemed ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend didn't contact me and I'm angry

Q.   My bf was at a lunch at a client today and then they went to a hotel bar with the guys for drinks. He hardly contacted me during the lunch nor told me they were going to a bar afterwards. I had to contact him and ask him what he was up to because he ...

A.   25 March 2017: If your boyfriend's income, whether he owns a business or is an employee or contractor, depends on him taking clients to lunch, or to a bar, then he is effectively working and private phone calls could, in the vast majority of cases, be deemed ... (read in full...)

Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?

Q.   I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...

A.   24 March 2017: This post seems to have degenerated .... I've looked through the responses by the original poster ... where does she say she is a single mother with only a brother for family This is not a forum for slanging matches. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend does not like my ex husband doing my laundry!

Q.   My boyfriend does not like my ex husband doing my laundry. He called my ex a saint for doing it and said he must care about me to do it still. Like there is an emotional connection and he feels I should finish with the relationship entirely. But the ...

A.   23 March 2017: Uh oh! You share a child with your ex, the child, as well as yourself, will generate laundry. Your option is to use a laundromat, which costs, or ex husband will do laundry for you at no cost which effectively gives you more cash in hand to ... (read in full...)

Married five months and husband wants me to have an abortion.

Q.   I've recently got married to my husband. We are very happy, and I have never felt more secure in all my life. We agreed to wait a few years before having children, and to focus on renovating our house which we brought before Christmas. We'll on ...

A.   23 March 2017: Your feelings of being let down are completely understandable. If you husband, bless his cotton socks, hadn't 100% wanted a baby yet he should have either tied a knot in it or practiced abstinence. Tell him to take his childish tantrum home to ... (read in full...)

Whose last name do I give to my baby?

Q.   My mom thinks I should give the baby the fathers last name but I don't think I should because I'm not married to him and he isn't in the picture. Won't that be an issue at school for my son and wherever I take him, if we have different last nam...

A.   22 March 2017: You are the child's parent, it appears you will be responsible for making the major decisions and also the day to day care of this child. Give him your name ....his absent father's name is not one to be proud of. Good luck and best wishes t... (read in full...)

What are the chances of success and happiness for women STARTING new relationships after the age of 50?

Q.   I've read horrible statistic that the odds of a woman marrying after 50 are something less than winning the lottery . What the hell ? Is this true . Are we really that unattractive and unwanted? What are women's experiences with STARTING new...

A.   22 March 2017: My father in law, a widower, was in his late 50s, married a lady in her 50s, and they had a happy marriage for 30 years ... HOWEVER personal observations do suggest women in their 50s are less likely to become involved in loving relation... (read in full...)

Bad sign or just a poor planner?

Q.   After a week of talking, I finally met the guy for date. He was late to the 1st date, which is ok once in awhile. We spent about 6 hours together and we were planning to spend today together. There was never a time set up. There is an event I've ...

A.   22 March 2017: Give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but if he flakes out again with little or no notice I'd not waste any more of my time or energy and dip your toe back into the big dating pool.... (read in full...)

How Do I Move On From This Affair?

Q.   Hey Aunts and Uncle's.. I recently got myself into something stupid. I know many of you will judge me for what I have done and say I'm a bad person. But I have a good heart and really need some advice. A year ago, I started working at my ca...

A.   21 March 2017: Don't change the time you go to the gym, if this guy is stupid enough to mention your liaison, or to suggest a repeat stare him down and tell him you are smart enough to know not to repeat mistakes, and that he should leave you alone or toodle off ... (read in full...)

Do you think I have the right be upset since technically he is still married?

Q.   I moved to a new town and got a job as a server at a local restaurant. One of my co workers is very cute and a lot of the girls like him. They are always going out as groups and hanging out with each other outside of work. We became really ...

A.   21 March 2017: Separated from his wife for a month and already getting close and smooching up with the new girl. I think that is a very good indication of what he thinks of marriage. Yes, you have the right to be upset and I think you should let him know how... (read in full...)

How can I deal with missing her in a LDR?

Q.   So my girlfriend and I have been together for 5 months and we're madly in love with each other, we plan on getting married next year actually.She's 17 and i'm 18. She lives in Stockton and I live in Sacramento. I haven't seen her for a month because ...

A.   20 March 2017: I'm glad to hear you both intend continuing with your studies after you and your girlfriend are married .... are you planning a wedding with guests or a ceremony with just you, her and a pair of witnesses? Who is going to pay for that? Once ... (read in full...)

He says he cares for me deeply ....

Q.   DeAr CuPiD I met this guy in Belize in January and coincidentally he lived not to far from me back home. After vacation was over we started hanging out back home and we've been having the most incredible time together. We both just got out of ...

A.   20 March 2017: If somebody told me they cared deeply I would take it that we were more than "just friends". If you and he have agreed to take things slowly he may not be ready to make declarations of love. I think you should ask him what he means by it, per... (read in full...)

How can I deal with missing her in a LDR?

Q.   So my girlfriend and I have been together for 5 months and we're madly in love with each other, we plan on getting married next year actually.She's 17 and i'm 18. She lives in Stockton and I live in Sacramento. I haven't seen her for a month because ...

A.   20 March 2017: The best way to deal with being apart is to keep busy, such as getting a part time job or taking up a hobby or getting involved in a sport. I am more concerned at your plans to marry next year, when you will both be very young, have you thought ... (read in full...)

His girlfriend is coming between my old friend and me!

Q.   I've been best friends with a guy from grade school, and we were so close and I love him like a brother. We don't see each other very much anymore since I went to college, but we always kept in regular contact via text and Facebook. He has a ...

A.   19 March 2017: Who told you his girlfriend went crazy? Your friend? Your (former) friend is the one who blocked you, I don't know how you "know for sure" his girlfriend is behind him blocking you and refusing to communicate with you, but unless she has somehow ... (read in full...)

His girlfriend is coming between my old friend and me!

Q.   I've been best friends with a guy from grade school, and we were so close and I love him like a brother. We don't see each other very much anymore since I went to college, but we always kept in regular contact via text and Facebook. He has a ...

A.   19 March 2017: Who told you his girlfriend went crazy? Your friend? Your (former) friend is the one who blocked you, I don't know how you "know for sure" his girlfriend is behind him blocking you and refusing to communicate with you, but unless she has somehow ... (read in full...)

How Do I Move On From This Affair?

Q.   Hey Aunts and Uncle's.. I recently got myself into something stupid. I know many of you will judge me for what I have done and say I'm a bad person. But I have a good heart and really need some advice. A year ago, I started working at my ca...

A.   19 March 2017: For a start your sexual encounter with a previous boss wasn't an affair but a one night stand. What are you hoping to achieve by telling him how you feel? Are you hoping for ongoing sexual encounters (which would be an affair), or for him to l... (read in full...)

My friend doesn't know if he likes her or not or if she has a chance with him

Q.   Just wanted to say thank you for taking your time to read this first. This has nothing to do with me, my friend is having problems reading this guy she likes and I thought asking here would help as I understand a lot of people here give out go...

A.   19 March 2017: I think the guy in question HAS stated how he feels, he has told her he isn't interested in a relationship and has not contacted her in the two weeks since. To be he has effectively used non verbal communication to get his feelings across ... your... (read in full...)

I want to be her friend and be there for her, but I don't want to be a problem for her and her new boyfriend if she still has any feelings. Advice?

Q.   Dear friends This may take some time to explain, so thanks in advance. I broke up with my ex-girlfriend last august, but i had wanted to end the relationship since the previous february. In total we were together for about 1 year and 3 ...

A.   18 March 2017: I don't get why people want to remain "close friends" with people they have broken up with ... and I believe HoneyPie is correct when she says your ex girlfriend wants you hanging around just in case the new guy doesn't work out. My advise i... (read in full...)

I feel like a third wheel in my own relationship! Any advice?

Q.   Hello aunts and uncles, Me and my bf of a while now have usually been quite close with each other... Even though the majority of our relationship has been long distance, we've tried to keep each other happy and made sure to spend enough time toge...

A.   18 March 2017: There are no two ways about it, that girl isn't your friend, and as for your boyfriend telling you he is too busy to talk or text with you but he has heaps of time to be communicating with her ... what a load of codswallop! Prepare yourself... (read in full...)

Do I quit my job? I feel my coworker doesn't like me, and some of the behaviour at work feels like bullying to me.

Q.   I work for a warehouse factory that distrubutes sporting things such as football tops and trophies etc. I'm being bullied at work from my boss and the assistant of the boss and they can't seem to leave me alone for five minutes. everytime I go into ...

A.   14 March 2017: Its easier to get another job while you are still employed, start looking for work, get friends to keep an ear to the ground and to check any notice boards etc. that might be in places you don't frequent very often. Also dedicate some time each ... (read in full...)

Was he right to say I need "more education?"

Q.   Hi.. I've been with my bf for about 7 months. He has a degree in classics, privately educated, where as I have A levels and I quit a dead end job because of depression and couldn't handle it. I still am intelligent and we have deep conversatio...

A.   13 March 2017: Good on you for telling him he could "bog off" if he thought a degree was a requirement .... he sounds like a pretentious snob. I feel it might be too soon to decide if the relationship is sustainable, he may still be capable of some growth i... (read in full...)

My boyfriend said my genes were inferior and any flaws would come from me

Q.   Boyfriend of almost two years and I were watching a movie (Harry Potter) and I was jokingly saying that I would name our future son Albus cause he was a bad-ass. My boyfriend said it'd be too much pressure for a kid to live up to. I laughed and ...

A.   9 March 2017: nahhhhh, not the sort of person you want to consider spending the rest of your life with. And a big whoopee doo to his ex having a Masters ... how does that reflect his genetics, is she his sister or something? Pack your bags, I wouldn't bothe... (read in full...)

Are men interested in a women in her 50's? Or do they always chose the younger ladies?

Q.   Are there many men actually interested in a relationship with an attractive woman in her 50s or will they always choose a younger woman if given the chance . It seems for sex an older woman is still often chosen if attractive especially by you get ...

A.   9 March 2017: My father in law married a lady in her 50s and they went on to have a further 30 happy years together. ... (read in full...)

Blocking's been unsuccessful. How to stop a woman obsessed with my Bf from messaging him on social media?

Q.   Hello. So I need help on stopping someone from harassing my boyfriend. I am 21 and he is 24 and since high school, his friend met a girl our age who pretended to be my friend when I didn't know her at all and she's hung out with my boyfriend's ...

A.   9 March 2017: Just throw your hands up in the air and accept you cannot change this girl's behaviour. You also cannot force your boyfriend's friends to ignore this girl, and not accept friend requests from her new, fake IDs. Your boyfriend can set the security... (read in full...)

Due to health issues, asking a relative to help seemed like a valid option. My relative is reluctant to help. What are my options?

Q.   I have a dilemma and I'm looking for some advice! I've recently been diagnosed with cancer and am thankfully getting treatment but unfortunately this has meant an extended period of time off work that I was financially unprepared for. I will n...

A.   9 March 2017: I also note that you haven't said who the rows are between over your request for assistance. I hope people are not arguing with your grandmother. If you are going to struggle with rent and other ongoing costs etc maybe consider storing your fur... (read in full...)

Due to health issues, asking a relative to help seemed like a valid option. My relative is reluctant to help. What are my options?

Q.   I have a dilemma and I'm looking for some advice! I've recently been diagnosed with cancer and am thankfully getting treatment but unfortunately this has meant an extended period of time off work that I was financially unprepared for. I will n...

A.   9 March 2017: Because your question is more about the family politics, considering you have asked for help, and your grandmother is reluctant, and it has already caused some rows you need to let it drop and perhaps seek the financial support you need elsewhere. ... (read in full...)

My co-worker was pushing invitations to her church, was my response rude?

Q.   My co worker that I'm friendly with would always invite me to her church and church related activities. She got really pushy and told me not to disappoint God...that it is for my own good.I never had any interest until one day I decided to just see ...

A.   6 March 2017: What is your question? I understand your initial response, religion is not for all of us, and your final apology offering an olive branch :-) should help in making sure your relationship remains cordial when you meet each other. ... (read in full...)

I work with her. Should I act as if I do not know that she blocked me on FB? Or do I confront her?

Q.   My friend at work blocked me on fb... I think it's pathetic, so do I confront her or not? (I'm thinking that I wouldn't really like to give her the satisfaction of knowing it's annoyed me...versus the making her squirm/lie about it...!!) ?? How d...

A.   5 March 2017: I'm sure she had her reasons for blocking you on facebook, and regardless if you or I find her reasons silly or juvenile or, like her, justified, those are her reasons and she has every right to them. You, on the other hand, list your age as betwe... (read in full...)

I'm worried my reaction means I am not over him.

Q.   I had a one year relationship. The guy was a jerk, and anyway we boke up. After not even seeing eaach other for like 3 months i suddenly see him on the road and i vomit. why does this happen? please tell me it's normal and that i don't still have ...

A.   28 February 2017: Your reaction was quite normal, I used to have the same reaction with some people in the past, even if it was just somebody talking about them. I also sometimes have physical reactions when I am extra stressed in work type situations. Your ex ... (read in full...)

What should I do? He told me that he "fell out of love" with me like a month ago and now it's too late?

Q.   Me and my fight friend have been friends for almost 2 years, 10 months ago he told me he wanted to date. When he first told me he liked me I was really nervous and not ready. I was young, immature, I had a lot of things going on in my life such as ...

A.   28 February 2017: let me recap 10 months ago he wanted to date, but you didn't You didn't act well after that and despite the two of you arguing he stuck by you 4 months ago you had another argument and he told you he only wanted to be your friend, as a result you... (read in full...)

I'm scared to follow my dreams in case my past could be viewed as a scandal!

Q.   I married a man who is my mother's ex-boyfriend's younger brother. Let me explain. So my mother dated a guy for two years, ten+ years ago. I was 18/19 at the time. The man lived with us as a 'step-father'. I was never around due to college, a jo...

A.   28 February 2017: Dear Op, don't stress over the rating thing :-) I too come from a very small community, so I do get where you are coming from. But, as for scandals, a very close member of my family is the product of a "scandal" and while I wont give too ma... (read in full...)

I'm scared to follow my dreams in case my past could be viewed as a scandal!

Q.   I married a man who is my mother's ex-boyfriend's younger brother. Let me explain. So my mother dated a guy for two years, ten+ years ago. I was 18/19 at the time. The man lived with us as a 'step-father'. I was never around due to college, a jo...

A.   27 February 2017: Your scandal is not really that big in the scheme of things ... believe me there are far, far worse. Your problem is probably more the fact you have tried to hide the story of how you met, but that's not insurmountable either. Chose a couple y... (read in full...)

Workplace problems... Did I deal with Jimmy in the right way? How do I handle the situation now?

Q.   I've worked at 4 different job locations during my 8 years of working for this company. I've never really had "true friendship" with any of my co-workers because I was always the "new person" to join the facility. I came to this location about a ...

A.   27 February 2017: Wow! My mouth is full of foul words ... a young man is starting a family and because he didn't roll over like a dog and do what you wanted YOU SUSPENDED HIM for the remainder of the month? I assume that means without pay. I know workplace legaliti... (read in full...)

Would I be betraying my Mom's memory if I get close to Dad's new girlfriend?

Q.   Hello, My name is Bree. 2 years ago my mother died and it has been sad and rough for my Dad and I. When my mom died it really broke my Dad's heart, he loved her so much and misses her, and I miss her too. But last month my Dad told me he met another ...

A.   24 February 2017: You say your Dad is happy, ask yourself if Mom would want him to be happy or miserable for the rest of his life. I think you already know the answer :-) Enjoy your day out, take your time getting to know Dad' girlfriend, there is no reason to ... (read in full...)

I lost respect when I found out my friend was a home wrecker.

Q.   I have a friend, lets call him x, who recently told me he's got a new girlfriend. I was happy for him, and asked the typical questions, appears she's a colleague of his and she's got two kids ages 7 and 4, that he hasn't met yet but is excited about ...

A.   24 February 2017: Yes, as mentioned, I also believe people should leave their current relationship before starting a new one, and I am sure that in a perfect world where nobody makes mistakes that happens. It would seem that you see things in very black and whit... (read in full...)

I lost respect when I found out my friend was a home wrecker.

Q.   I have a friend, lets call him x, who recently told me he's got a new girlfriend. I was happy for him, and asked the typical questions, appears she's a colleague of his and she's got two kids ages 7 and 4, that he hasn't met yet but is excited about ...

A.   24 February 2017: While I am totally against people in relationships not finishing one relationship before they start another I feel you and Y are making a lot of assumptions in this case and that you are prepared to toss a friend without first making sure you have ... (read in full...)

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