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*unty BimBim

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Staying with his mum is taking all out savings

Q.   Hiya.. I currently have been with my boyfriend for just over 4 years.. we are in a very happy relationship- no problems and we get on like a house on fire.. we are currently saving to buy our first house and are currently living together at his mums ...

A.   25 November 2017: If your boyfriend's mother relies on the rent/board your and your boyfriend pay her to survive then it is no surprise to hear your boyfriend would be reluctant to move out of where he can support her to other accommodation. If you believe your con... (read in full...)

Why would he not see me in 2 months then turn around and say he loves me loads?

Q.   hi everyone. person i'm seeing for a year now,we not had the exclusive talk but hes told me we friends but seeing where it goes etc we are sleeping together mostly when we see each other sex is involved 9/10 times it happens now recently iv not ...

A.   21 November 2017: The reason he wants you to keep any gifts you buy him at your place is because he doesn't want them to be at his ...... WHY? I hear you ask. Because he doesn't want to have to explain them to anybody else if they are at his .... another woman fo... (read in full...)

What can I do to make her pull her weight at home?

Q.   We have been married for over 5 years. I do the cooking, cleaning, shopping, house repairs, car repairs, take care of the animals, etc. Meanwhile my wife comes home, gets on her social media, and messes up the house. Shoes everywhere, papers, books, ...

A.   16 November 2017: I assume she is fit and healthy enough to help, and that her job isn't physically tiring. I am also going to assume you work an equal amount of hours. Honestly, I wouldn't like to be in your situation ... if your life is as you have written ... (read in full...)

He never wants to spend time with me!

Q.   Hi everyone I've been with my fiance now for 4 years we have 2 children I already had my daughter when we met then we had a baby girl who is now 2 the problem is he never wants to spend anytime with us he goes to work on a morning comes home at 4.15 ...

A.   10 November 2017: What's in this relationship for you? You've tried talking, nothing changes, he doesn't want to change as he is happy with things the way they are .... Which leaves the ball in your corner, if you have had enough then start making plans to lea... (read in full...)

My Boyfriend excluded me to his brother's funeral because his ex was going

Q.   Hello, I am after some opinions please as to whether I am over analysing things and being silly or if I am right to feel upset and rejected. I am new to this site and so am expecting there may be some readers who will judge me pretty harshly...

A.   7 November 2017: I am sorry you are hurting on so many levels, not being able to attend the funeral after being a partner for five years, and, if you have been attending birthdays and other celebrations, part of a family. He offered you the eulogy to read in a cra... (read in full...)

My boyfriend thinks he should be consulted about my mother's estate

Q.   Is it wrong to not consider my boyfriends opinion regarding my house? My mom passed away last year and my cousin is helping me get the house in my name. He and I agreed that refinancing the remaining amount of the mortgage was the best option for ...

A.   7 November 2017: Money, and disagreements about how to manage money contributes to the downfall of many relationships, so an open and honest discussion, especially when a family's (your baby) security and welfare is at stake. The first thing you need to decide i... (read in full...)

I'm dating someone who has a twin brother and when the brothers and the sister-in-law get together, they make me feel very left out

Q.   I have been dating an identical twin for the last 4 years. We have been doing well except when it comes to spending time with his brother and his sister in law. When we are all together, I am always to one that is left out. I always get left out of ...

A.   30 October 2017: What are they discussing that requires them to whisper? You could try asking them that next time they start, or insert yourself into the circle asking "is there room here for me yet?" or simply, silently slip away and leave them to it .... Perso... (read in full...)

I feel I am not good enough and cry everyday

Q.   I am 25, single and VERY lonely. My now ex bf recently broke up with me because he lost feelings for me. I think it is all my fault, but he says it is not. He says his feelings fizzled out over time and insists there is no new girl. I am scared of ...

A.   10 October 2017: If you are crying everyday go see a doctor or seek counselling, stop trying to find somebody new until you are feeling more positive and less depressed. Do more of the things that make you happy, even if you have to force yourself. Go for a da... (read in full...)

I feel like I was second servings!

Q.   Okay i really dont know what to do in this situation. So my freind is friends with this guy and they are just friends nothing more. So one day he spent the night at our apartment and I ended up having sex with him. I felt weird about sleeping with ...

A.   10 October 2017: Her friend, not your. Just because she didn't gab about getting to screw her friend doesn't mean he was off limits. Its all tacky and sordid, don't fuck friend's friends and next time you want to get laid practice some decorum.... (read in full...)

Am I being too materialstic and self sabotaging?

Q.   Am I being unrealistic? I am 50 and dating a man for close to three months who claims he is retired, I came to find out he was laid off and doesn't want to go back to work. I find myself paying more often when we go out, it is a huge turn-off. I ...

A.   10 October 2017: Short answer: no. Slightly longer answer ... if you are paying more and more often this man is a free loader, and while that might be kinda sorta okay in the here and now while you are still fit and healthy to be able to work what is going to... (read in full...)

I feel like I was second servings!

Q.   Okay i really dont know what to do in this situation. So my freind is friends with this guy and they are just friends nothing more. So one day he spent the night at our apartment and I ended up having sex with him. I felt weird about sleeping with ...

A.   10 October 2017: The tone of your question suggests sex is a mere commodity ... and he's her friend so she got first dibs. As for the guy in question it was a transaction, give somebody a fuck in exchange for somewhere to crash ... he was so happy with the arra... (read in full...)

I can't wait to get married - but family issues putting a dampener on it.

Q.   Hi, I'm looking for some advice. My fiancé and I are engaged and are soon to start planning our wedding. I have an extremely difficult mother, and because of that she has pretty much damaged all family ties I have with aunts/uncles/cousins. ...

A.   10 October 2017: There are a few options available o you, it really comes down to what YOU want. Dad and his new partner get invited. If his parents are still alive they get an invitation as well. Mum gets an invite, with a plus one ... she can bring a girlfrie... (read in full...)

He found the girl he dumped me for was too costly and wants me to take him back.

Q.   So, this guy and I were dating for almost two years and he proposed to me in May. A few weeks later he tells me hes going on vacation with his old crush/ friend since high school there both 28. But they have been friends forever. So, he breaks off ...

A.   9 October 2017: How lucky are you for him to show his true colours BEFORE you married him, imagine if you married him and he decided to run off after a glittery thing again. I think you are too nice ... you are under no obligation to talk to this person so if, a... (read in full...)

A years long troubled friendship has turned into a family obligatory relationship. What should I do?

Q.   Hi! I'd very much appreciate some perspective on a friendship I've had since childhood. Is it really a friendship, or an inherited relationship? Am I overreacting after 30 years, or have I been to patient and accommodating? Our parents were bes...

A.   9 October 2017: I had a friend like that ... self absorbed and inconsiderate of other people's lives. You could start by putting in some boundaries, I told my friend unless one of her kids had broken a leg or worse no phone calls after 8pm. You could give you... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is sad after his ex girlfriend's revelation!

Q.   Hello, I have a story to tell. This summer my bf and I got together. He had a girlfriend but he cheated on her to be with me. At first we were friends and I knew he had a girlfriend but I was so in love with him and I was trying to resist for so ...

A.   9 October 2017: Were they living together, it sounds like they were if you have been accused of breaking up their home? She may well have been pregnant, or maybe she hoped she was pregnant, or maybe she is telling lies .... nobody knows except her. Your bo... (read in full...)

My ex bf new gf texting me how good their relationship is

Q.   I've been in a relationship for almost 2 years now. We've had our ups and downs but we pulled through. We also had lots of arguments. On our last argument we had I went to work, came home and he packed his things and left. My ex bf now, left a ...

A.   8 October 2017: Their relationship is dooooooomed! She knows it and that is why she is so desperate to clinch the deal with a baby .... I hope their matching tattoos are somewhere really visible, and YUGE so that when it all comes crumbling down he will have a p... (read in full...)

Other people have forgiven him, so why cant our children?

Q.   One year ago my husband of 23 years was arrested, he had been looking at underage pornography. 45 counts of category a amongst other. Myself and our family were totally shocked as he had always been a very good person who helped all the family and ...

A.   8 October 2017: Lets get back to the crux of the original question. The lady's children have issued an ultimatum. They want her to stop seeing her husband (convicted of child pornography offenses) or stop seeing them. Whether the man can be cured, is cured or... (read in full...)

How do you treat a friend who doesn't act like one?

Q.   Since last year May I started hanging out with two new friends, Jennifer and Jackie. I knew Jackie since late-high school but we virtually never spoke. At the time, I was good friends with her best friend, Nancy, and they're still best friends ...

A.   7 October 2017: She might be an introvert, a very shy introvert, she may struggle in social situations, she may suffer anxiety ... Let me tell you this, a person who is not a friend would not drop everything to go to the airport and pick somebody up after th... (read in full...)

Other people have forgiven him, so why cant our children?

Q.   One year ago my husband of 23 years was arrested, he had been looking at underage pornography. 45 counts of category a amongst other. Myself and our family were totally shocked as he had always been a very good person who helped all the family and ...

A.   7 October 2017: While you may be prepared to lay down your life that your husband didn't touch a child he was complicit in at least 45 incidents of somebody else touching children on his behalf. I understand where your children are coming from, what happened... (read in full...)

Is my married boss hoping I will ask her out. ?

Q.   Hi this only happens at work lm a guy and really like 2 women 1 is married and find it hard to ask her out for a coffee and chat l feel she's still interested but she wants me to approach her and ask her out l don't think it will happen also cause ...

A.   6 October 2017: How do you know your boss is interested? Is she leaning over so that you can look down the front of her dress all the way to her navel and giving a little wriggle? Or maybe licks her lips in a salacious way whenever you glance her way? What signs ... (read in full...)

Should I attend my Son's wedding?

Q.   I am a dad who doesn't get along well with his only son. He is getting married in a couple days and have chosen a non cleric, non blood related family member to officiate the ceremony, a man I totally despise and have never gotten along with. I like ...

A.   5 October 2017: Its not your wedding so its not your prerogative to choose who gets to perform the ceremony. However deciding to attend or not is your choice ... think carefully before you carry out your threat to throw a tantrum over not getting your own way,... (read in full...)

I constantly feel jealous about his exes!

Q.   Any advice on how to get past jealousy. My boyfriend has clearly had other girlfriends as we have been together only a few months. Yesterday he said about going to Italy and when I asked who with and he said his ex girlfriend from 8 years ago I feel ...

A.   4 October 2017: Whatevahh with him liking facebook pictures, its what facebook is. Your relationship is doomed due to your pig headed refusal to even read, let alone take on board, the advice given here by a variety of people. My only hope is that the guy in ... (read in full...)

I constantly feel jealous about his exes!

Q.   Any advice on how to get past jealousy. My boyfriend has clearly had other girlfriends as we have been together only a few months. Yesterday he said about going to Italy and when I asked who with and he said his ex girlfriend from 8 years ago I feel ...

A.   4 October 2017: oh for God's sake woman .... do you want this relationship to work or not? they are friends ... on facebook at least, its polite to click like on friend's pictures so unless he actually GUSHED over it there is not a problem. you are expecting th... (read in full...)

My boyfriend keeps asking to meet my former best friend

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been dating for 16 months. We met through a social group in which we both joined around the same time, and that group is my main circle of friends. I do not keep in touch regularly with anyone else. I have friends whom I call ...

A.   3 October 2017: Why does this tuppenny twat want you to re-establish contact with somebody who is not healthy for you? His persistence shows disrespect for you. Tell him again NO and you don't want him to bring it up again. Are you capable/strong e... (read in full...)

I constantly feel jealous about his exes!

Q.   Any advice on how to get past jealousy. My boyfriend has clearly had other girlfriends as we have been together only a few months. Yesterday he said about going to Italy and when I asked who with and he said his ex girlfriend from 8 years ago I feel ...

A.   3 October 2017: So this man hasn't spent the past 40 years in a vacuum, not seeing anything, or speaking with anybody no existence to speak of until he met you .... and then WHAM there he was, a totally blank slate with no history or life experience. The p... (read in full...)

He's bragged about cheating on me behind my back but denies it when I confront him!

Q.   Have been told by strangers, friends and family that my boyfriend of twenty years has bragged about cheating on me every chance he gets when he's working out of town. He actually butt dialed me during one of his bragging sessions to a friend and I ...

A.   2 October 2017: Who should you believe? Why wouldn't you believe family and friends? Are they in the habit of lying to you? And you say you heard your boyfriend himself bragging of cheating when he accidentally phoned you. But nooooooo Don't believe a... (read in full...)

Is this too much for a first and second date or is he just trying to control her?

Q.   So, a friend of mine is seeing this guy.. They started talking through Bumble. He's slightly older tha her, she's 22. They've only know each other a couple of weeks or so. He's a volunteer police officcer. So, they met at the weekend. Saturda...

A.   30 September 2017: Do they have "volunteer police officers" in the UK? What is their usual role? Do they have access to the same data bases as the regular, or non volunteer police officers that would enable him to do a background check? My advise is for you to v... (read in full...)

Fiances mother is refusing to come to our wedding unless we change our plans

Q.   firstly, thank you for taking the time to read my post. I'm having problems with my fiancées mother. Backstory: me and him met in school, at15, we've been together ever since. We got engaged may 2016 in Fiji we had originally planned a two wee...

A.   28 September 2017: Listen to your boyfriend and get married in Fiji ... as you say, its YOUR day. Its not his mum's day, and while it would be great for her to be there, its her choice to ty and blackmail you into doing what she wants. It will be sad for your future ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend's mother came over and rearranged our bedroom, I can't find anything!

Q.   My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years now and we live together. He is 22 and I’m 20. Let me start off by saying, I think family is super important and I would never want to come between my boyfriend and his family. But it bothers ...

A.   28 September 2017: What your boyfriend's mother did was an enormously disrespectful to you, as was his response. There are no simple solutions, the best I can suggest is that you try to keep calm when you talk to his mother "Mrs X, I understand you probably tho... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a new friend & he seems to care more about their relationship than ours.

Q.   I've been in a relationship for five years, and cheating has never been something I was concerned about. But about six months ago my boyfriend made a new friend through a club at colleg, and they became close friends real quickly. They talk all the ...

A.   26 September 2017: Have you met your boyfriend's new friend? If not, why not? Make that your priority, suggest your boyfriend invite her to join you both for coffee or a light lunch somewhere neutral. To be honest I don't think you are being paranoid. I cant... (read in full...)

My boyfriend has a new friend & he seems to care more about their relationship than ours.

Q.   I've been in a relationship for five years, and cheating has never been something I was concerned about. But about six months ago my boyfriend made a new friend through a club at colleg, and they became close friends real quickly. They talk all the ...

A.   26 September 2017: Have you met your boyfriend's new friend? If not, why not? Make that your priority, suggest your boyfriend invite her to join you both for coffee or a light lunch somewhere neutral. To be honest I don't think you are being paranoid. I cant... (read in full...)

My parents don't know about my relationship till I am 18. A parents advice would be nice

Q.   I am currently 16 and live in Victoria Australia and my boyfriend is 20 from punjabi india.All aspects of our relationship is legal We have been together for just under a year and my parents don't know i plan on telling them when i am 18 but his ...

A.   25 September 2017: As a parent I would extremely concerned about the influence of the man's parents on my 16 year old daughter, I would also be very angry at those parents organising my daughter's marriage while I remained ignorant of the relationship. I would no... (read in full...)

Love triangle, help! Who do you think I love and who should I be with?

Q.   I am in a love triangle. I'm still in love with my ex-boyfriend, who happened to be my sitting mate in high school. And had some feelings for each other but didn't confess our love. Until I traveled to Holland(where I am currently living), and he ...

A.   25 September 2017: It amazes me every time somebody posts a question, asking a group of complete strangers (us) which of two people would be a better choice as a partner. Part of me sees it as an attempt to abrogate responsibility for life's choices, passing ... (read in full...)

Is this something I can fix by correcting a few actions in our relationship? Do I give her space and trust that she will end up with me? What do I do?

Q.   My gf of 1.5 years recently told me that she likes a guy from work as as more than friends but is unsure about what to do. She said she loves me and she doesn't love him because it is too early to tell. She said she recognizes that it is unfair to ...

A.   21 September 2017: NO! Two things here 1. She wants you in the background in case the new guy doesn't work out (ie while she waits to see what happens) 2. This way she "thinks" she wont be viewed by ou and other friends as a cheater .... and she is planning to ... (read in full...)

Should I give my old teacher this small gift?

Q.   Last month I went on holidays to do a language course in another country. I told that to a teacher of my uni and she recommended me a shop which of course I visited and liked a lot. I bought some presents for my family and friends and also something ...

A.   19 September 2017: yes, give her the gift. Tell her thanks for her recommendations, and that you appreciated them.... (read in full...)

She said she wants to hangout with her friends which is fine except for my concern about this one male friend!

Q.   My gf of 1.5 years is amazing for the most part. We have talked about getting married and moving in together and everything. We plan on moving in in the next 6months. Recently she told me that she feels that she will miss out on being young cause ...

A.   19 September 2017: Personally I believe couples need to maintain their friendships and sometimes enjoy activities separate from their partners, but usually, especially as you two have been a couple for more than 12 months, each person in the relationship has met with ... (read in full...)

A thank you to your advice!! I am now engaged. You are all the best!! Just a Thank you Post =)

Q.   Hi Everyone!! Thanks for your advice. I am engaged and getting married!! I came to your site because I am more of a private person and my mother passed away and don't have a sister. I love my friends but I'm not one to talk about gossip on my rel...

A.   19 September 2017: Its always good to receive some feedback .... but even better when it such a happy upbeat post! As for your engagement ¸.·'?¸.·'?*·~-.¸-(?[CONGTATULATIONS] ?)-,.-~*¸.·'?¸.·'? ... (read in full...)

How do I get him to understand my loneliness?

Q.   Hi everyone. I'm just looking for a bit of advice. I am married to my partner who I've known since we were kids. I've been feeling so lonely recently as I feel like I've lost connection with my friends. I work and sit at home waiting for my husba...

A.   19 September 2017: You are still very young, with a probable life expectancy of around 80 years .... which means you are only a quarter of the way through. Think very carefully about your marriage, does it bring you happiness, does being married to your husband ... (read in full...)

My girlfriend wont cut ties with her ex!

Q.   This might be a bit long. After a few relationships, i decided to try and get together with a girl recommended to me by my friend's girlfriend. I'll call her Agnes. This happened great, especially the first 3/4 months - we had our issues to ir...

A.   18 September 2017: Ask her, if she is serious about stopping his contacting her, ask her why she hasn't blocked him number, or changed hers, or blocked him on social media? If she is serious about stopping contact she is going about it in a very wishy washy ma... (read in full...)

Why can't I remember him?

Q.   The year after I graduated from high school, I had a sexual encounter with a boy I had graduated with and known well. 40 years later we have reconnected...problem is I do not remember the encounter and he remembers every detail right down to what I ...

A.   18 September 2017: I'm also wondering if he has the right girl, especially if you don't even remember having sex with him. Even if you were blotto on alcohol you would remember some of the circumstances of the evening ... if he insists it was you maybe somebody... (read in full...)

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