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*unty BimBim

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LDR boyfriend seems to be spending more time with friends yet claims he wants more time with me

Q.   My boyfriend of over a year has me a little confused. We are moderately long distance - he lives about 2 hours drive away. For the past few weeks he's been saying how he misses me a lot (he does say this an hour after I leave his place though) an...

A.   17 February 2018: Ahh, how good has the poor sensitive little flower got it? Sex travels to him, and if he wants a little bit more it travels a little bit more, he is aware you are the one doing all the travelling, so while you are fresh in his mind, like an hour ... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't understand how important my sister is to me.

Q.   My husband recently lost his job. I told my sister immediately. My husband is now angry at me and said I should have asked if he wants me to make it public. I told him he cannot control me and that I share everything with my sister and also that my ...

A.   17 February 2018: Your update suggests that YOU don't understand that sharing with your sister IS bad. Don't stop because he doesn't like it, stop because it is the WRONG thing to do. ... (read in full...)

He didn't get me a present for my birthday or Valentine's Day

Q.   My boyfriend and I got into a huge fight, and in the end I decided to break it off with him because it was getting nowhere. Last year on my birthday, my bf didn't get me anything or take me out to eat anywhere. It was literally NOTHING. But I ju...

A.   16 February 2018: How does a teenager in the US earn enough money to be able to spend that amount on a birthday present?? But never mind, you told him not to get you anything, so he didn't, he doesn't have a crystal ball, how was he supposed to know you didn't m... (read in full...)

My husband doesn't understand how important my sister is to me.

Q.   My husband recently lost his job. I told my sister immediately. My husband is now angry at me and said I should have asked if he wants me to make it public. I told him he cannot control me and that I share everything with my sister and also that my ...

A.   16 February 2018: It IS a trust issue, do you discuss everything that happens in your marriage with your sister, effectively placing her right slap bang in the middle of it ... he married you, not her, and he deserves some respect and a right to privacy. Jealo... (read in full...)

I want to start a business but struggle with anxiety and depression.

Q.   Im writing this today because I am turning 25 and I'm a failure. I so badly want to be a productive and sensible adult but I'm just a big child. I've failed in so many areas of my life it's laughable. I have no career, no super, I finally managed to ...

A.   16 February 2018: Keep the job for the time being, view it as a means to an end. I see by your flag you are a fellow Australian, are you aware the Government has realised many of us need a bit of help dealing with issues such as anxiety and depression?? Have ... (read in full...)

As much as it hurts badly do I need to cut guy 1 off to give myaelf time to get over him? And focus on guy 2?

Q.   Dear Cupids! I am torn between two men in my life. Guy 1 and I dated for 7 months then he had to go back to Greece as his contract for work ended. Now we still chat long distantly it was hard and I broke it off with him. We still talk via Skype a...

A.   16 February 2018: Yes, if he agrees you need space but refuses to respect boundaries you have to ask yourself what are his motives. He made a decision not to give you any hope ... whatever the dickens he means by that, so take him at his word and block him. ... (read in full...)

I need tips on getting a boyfriend!

Q.   How do I get a boyfriend? I'm lonely on Valentine's Day and I want to have someone to talk to and be in a relationship with. I want some pone who is like me and enjoys my hobbies. Do you have any tips or tricks to seem more open and approachable to ...

A.   15 February 2018: There used to be a saying about having to kiss a lot of frogs before you found your prince ..... I am not advocating kissing a lot of boys but rather to be friendly and aware of non verbal communication, so when in a group try not to cross your arms ... (read in full...)

As much as it hurts badly do I need to cut guy 1 off to give myaelf time to get over him? And focus on guy 2?

Q.   Dear Cupids! I am torn between two men in my life. Guy 1 and I dated for 7 months then he had to go back to Greece as his contract for work ended. Now we still chat long distantly it was hard and I broke it off with him. We still talk via Skype a...

A.   14 February 2018: What do you want from life? A happy fulfilled with a decent guy who obviously cares for, and respects you (guy 2) or a lonely unfulfilled future with nothing but daydreams about a guy who left? Stop fantasising! if guy one felt anything strong f... (read in full...)

My husband spends more time with his female co worker than he does with me.

Q.   My husband has a female coworker that he has been friends with for a while. They go out to lunch together and text each other here and there. I’ve never had a problem with this, I have male coworkers that I am friends with as well. My problem is ...

A.   14 February 2018: I am sorry, but not surprised. Your priority now are the three kids and making sure they are okay, this means protecting your resources, including financials and assets. Please seek legal advise today. His friend has no respect for your mar... (read in full...)

Will I ever meet anyone or will I be alone forever?

Q.   I’m a 29 year old single Mum to a beautiful 2 year old daughter. I split with her dad shortly after she was born, so I have been single for about 2 years. The first year I was happy being single and wanted to concentrate on raising my daughter. The ...

A.   13 February 2018: Find somebody to mind your child, family or a child care centre and get a part time job one day or night a week, or take up swing dancing or Thai cooking lessons ..... anything that takes you out of your usual habitat, where you will meet new ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend is sending other girls naked pictures.

Q.   Hi I have caught my boyfriend messaging other girls even to the point he was sending naked pictures I tried to forgive him but IDK if I really can I always worry about who he talking to so how should I break it of I don't think I can keep going on ...

A.   13 February 2018: How to break it off? Okay, I know its not easy but you need to tell him you believe he is not the one for you and wish him well. Don't agree to be friends, why would you want to be friends with somebody like that, if necessary block him on your ... (read in full...)

My husband spends more time with his female co worker than he does with me.

Q.   My husband has a female coworker that he has been friends with for a while. They go out to lunch together and text each other here and there. I’ve never had a problem with this, I have male coworkers that I am friends with as well. My problem is ...

A.   13 February 2018: Damn, this made me angry! My advise: start getting your ducks all in a line, if you have shared bank accounts transfer funds to an account in your name only, if you share credit cards cancel them and have one in your name only ... gather together... (read in full...)

How do I convince my much younger wife to allow another man to join us in the bedroom?

Q.   Hi. I am looking for advice {mostly from women}on how to convince my wife (almost 20 years younger than me)to allow another younger man to join us in bed so I can watch him pleasure her. Without going into a boring explanation let me just say I'm ...

A.   10 February 2018: Why on earth would you ask women for advise on how to convince another woman to do something that, if she wanted to do it she wouldn't need convincing. Watching a video and getting turned on is a completely different experience to having some oth... (read in full...)

I have a boyfriend but I'm still in love with my ex

Q.   Hiya do you believe that’s there’s a one in life I met this man 5 years ago and I’ve never felt that way about anyone before we split up due to not having enough time for each other and I was gutted for months we decided not to speak as it would ...

A.   10 February 2018: Its not fair to your current boyfriend to be with him while you are hankering elsewhere. Break up with him and try your chances with the ex ..... although don't be surprised if he still doesn't have time for a relationship.... (read in full...)

Is it ok if I want to be on my own? The relationship feels like 80/20 I'm just not getting enough out of it

Q.   Hi guys and gals, Just here to seek some advice. i am in a relationship of three years, with a man who i love and care for deeply. we had been friends for a while before we decided to hook up. I'm tired and just not sure where to begin. i hardl...

A.   7 February 2018: Do you ever get together for anything other than the weekly bonk? A meal out or a movie, visit mutual friends, even just a drive somewhere? From your letter it seems the only time you get together is once a week for sex. It doesn't sound like the... (read in full...)

He said he feels we aren't a good match but he also said he can see us together for a long time.

Q.   I think some advice would be helpful so here I am. My boyfriend told me he doesn't want marriage and children but he also doesn't know for sure. He adds our personalities are very different and feels we aren't the best match (this kind of confused ...

A.   1 February 2018: he is not a good match, telling you he doesn't want marriage and children is the truth, adding that he isn't sure is designed to keep you hooked on hope he might change his mind. He had told you he doesn't see you as a good match ... that's a... (read in full...)

I don't want to give my friend false hope

Q.   Dear all I just need some advice. A good friend of mine told me she had feelings for me last November. I didn't have those feelings so rejected her and she was upset. It was tough for some weeks but eventually she stopped being upset and we seeme...

A.   1 February 2018: She's nuts! Or a spoilt brat whose parents never said no to her. If he is part of your social group and you may need to interact with her just tell her the chemistry isn't there and limit your interactions. If she isn't part of your social g... (read in full...)

Partner has been cheating with my best friend for the past five years.

Q.   Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2009 till now we still ...

A.   31 January 2018: hi OP approach your mother first, if your relationship to date has been okay assume your ex girlfriend has spoken with forked tongue and is possibly misrepresenting your mother and sister. They may have been concerned about talking about th... (read in full...)

Partner has been cheating with my best friend for the past five years.

Q.   Me and my girlfriend been together for over 9 years, only couple of days ago she dropped a bomb shell on me saying she’s been cheating on me with my best friend, my heart sunk, I was heart broken to be hearing this. We met in 2009 till now we still ...

A.   30 January 2018: Why tell you now, after five years? Did your former friend dump her? How did your mother and sister help them cover up the affair .... that seems a little odd. You need to decide what you want .... it will be very hard to trust her again af... (read in full...)

Am I an evil step mother?

Q.   I am a stepmother who will be inheriting my husband Home instead of his adult child. I want responses on whether * am the evil stepmom everyone fears. Here is my story. My husband was a widower when we married,that was 14 years ago. His daughter ...

A.   14 January 2018: You husband can include a paragraph in his will outlining the reasons for his decision, while it wont stop anybody contesting the will it will outline, in writing, how he came to make his decision .... which will have to be taken into account in any ... (read in full...)

Am I right to feel offended by my boss's improper comment?

Q.   Hi.I teach at a higher education institution, where I had an incident with my boss today. While I was having coffee with four colleagues, he told us to not use electric heaters because the central heating system - which has never really worked – was ...

A.   11 January 2018: Let me recap Your Manager made what seems to be a reasonable request of you and your colleagues, to not use the heaters because the heating system was being tested. You responded, half in jest, so I assume it was half seriously as well, about ... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!

Q.   Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...

A.   9 January 2018: You cannot stop you boyfriend from joining his friends on this holiday, and no amount of wishing and hoping and duscussion (nagging) is going to change that. Despite your 5 year realtionship you dont have any right to stop him from doing this, or... (read in full...)

Feel as though needs arn't being met in relationship.

Q.   I need advice about my current relationship. I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 4 years and we currently live together, but we were really good friends 3 years before we started dating. The past few months I’ve felt as though my boyfrien...

A.   8 January 2018: Can you afford to move out? If he had to put some effort into being able to spend some time with you, if you weren't on tap so to speak it might encourage him to put a bit of effort in. He's got lazy, he believes he doesn't have to do anything... (read in full...)

Boyfriend wants to go away with his friends, not with me!

Q.   Lads holiday to Berlin when in a long term relationship of 5 years??? My boyfriend of 5 years and his friends want to go on a lads holiday after we finish our A level exams this summer. They are thinking of going to Berlin however, I’m rea...

A.   8 January 2018: Sometimes when I read questions here I just feel old ... A levels would make you both around 18 or 19 yeah? Still very young, I can understand why your boyfriend wants to go off with his friends to celebrate the end of the A levels ... it will ... (read in full...)

I think he's cheating and we had unprotected sex!

Q.   I posted a question few weeks ago about this guy that I’m seeing, a 46 years old physician divorced with no kids. From the beginning I made my dating rules clear and told him that I don’t want to have any physical contact or intimacy if he is seeing ...

A.   8 January 2018: WOW! This guy is good, so good I think he has had lots of practice manipulating people, telling just enough truth but omitting more truth than he tells. This guy already has you questioning yourself and if what he says and does is "normal"... (read in full...)

My best friend seems to want to end our friendship

Q.   I've been friendly with my pal David for over 30 years. He drives a taxi for private hire for a living.I provide computer fixing services. A month ago, for the first time ever, he referred a customer of his to me who had a computer problem. The...

A.   8 January 2018: I'd reach out once more to your friend, ask him what it is he requires you to do to resolve this, as when he initially approached you on the lady's behalf he hadn't mentioned you were expected to attend her house for several hours on a daily basis ... (read in full...)

I feel embarrassed and stupid about the party!

Q.   My boyfriend invited me to his friends party. I don’t know too many of his friends but he really wanted me to go so I went. We got to the party and he sat across the table from me and talked to his friends and took shots with his friends while I sat ...

A.   7 January 2018: His friends sound like amazing hosts, the party itself sounds super exciting and your boyfriend sounds like he is caring and attentive. How nice it would be if all the above were true. I'm assuming he han't been your boyfriend for very long. ... (read in full...)

Uh Oh! My girlfriend and I are related!

Q.   My girlfriend and I are related, found out after 30 years but are great great grandparents are cousins??..I love her to death and we have a 4 month year old daughter but what should we do?...

A.   3 January 2018: You don't need to do anything, the relationship is so far back that there will be only minimal, if any, shared DNA between you both and your respective great, great grandparents. If you are concerned for your child's health, and are aware of any n... (read in full...)

Is this my life now for ever?

Q.   I have been living with an ex girlfriend of mine for 4 years. We are both lonely, and don't have families or friends. I sometimes think is this my life now, we are both nearly 60 years old and are going nowhere. I know I am not as happy as I used to ...

A.   3 January 2018: As the saying goes, the show isn't over until the fat lady sings ....here is my later years story, I was aged early 50s my life was quite crap, health issues, money issues, social issues, family issues ... I was in effect just getting through each ... (read in full...)

Will I never be with my soulmate? It seems fate is keeping us apart

Q.   I met the love of my life when I was 14, we fell in love so deep. The world was our oyster, growing together year after year, experiencing every 1st thing together. Bad and good. Both our life’s were tragically twisted and I made a mistake when I w...

A.   1 January 2018: How much older than you is the person you call your "soul mate"? Your child is still quite young, around 3 or 4 if you fell pregnant at 26 and are now 30, you may not be able to move him to another country, you will require his father's permissi... (read in full...)

Does my husband friend want a threesome?

Q.   I got the feeling that my husbands friend was hinting for a threesome but I’m not sure. We’ll call his friend Lucas. It all started about two months ago when the three of us along with five other friends hired a cabin in the woods for a long ...

A.   1 January 2018: From what you have written Lucas isn't interested in a threesome, or hinting at it, he is interested in making a cuckold of your husband ... his comments show his lack of respect for his friend (your husband) and deserved a sharp set down from both ... (read in full...)

How do you leave someone when they are the father of your child?

Q.   Hi, I’m eight weeks pregnant with what would be my first child. But before I knew, I had been thinking on and off that I wanted freedom, I started questioning being compatible with my boyfriend and resenting him. Sex life was declining and I had no ...

A.   1 January 2018: I don't believe your concerns are hormonal ... was the trash pic and comments a one off or does you boyfriend often act this horrible? He is not fit to be a father, imagine having a child in that environment, your boyfriend could treat the chil... (read in full...)

Why can’t they leave me alone and enjoy my visit?

Q.   Am visiting family interstate for 2 days,staying overnight then leaving. Staying with my parents and will visit my younger sister and her family also, as they live in the same town. I have to stay with parents as sister has 2 kids (17...

A.   29 December 2017: Tell your mother you love her but all her criticisms make you feel like you don't want to visit. I was going to suggest you could respond to your sister with a "why don't you visit ME more often" but I think Honeypie is right, and you need to ... (read in full...)

His depression is sending me back to my depressed days

Q.   Hey everyone . I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months at first everything was great as usual , weve got to know each other really well in that time and hes told me he suffers really bad depression .I have tried my best to support him in any way ...

A.   25 December 2017: Is this you as well? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-me-why-now.html... (read in full...)

His depression is sending me back to my depressed days

Q.   Hey everyone . I have been with my boyfriend for 4 months at first everything was great as usual , weve got to know each other really well in that time and hes told me he suffers really bad depression .I have tried my best to support him in any way ...

A.   25 December 2017: I think the best thing to do is to accept this relationship is over before it even got off the ground, being depressed doesn't give him licence to be so rude to you .... Don't wait for him to message, say to yourself out loud, "its over" continue... (read in full...)

All he wants is sex, what should I do?

Q.   Me and my boyfriend have been together since July and I don’t know him he loves me he says he does but all he wants is sex I love him with all my heart but do I stay or leave should I wait a year ...

A.   25 December 2017: You need to talk to him, and you need to use language that he will understand. Find somewhere neutral where you can have a conversation, make sure the TV is off and that phones and other devises are out of reach. Maybe ask him what he expects ... (read in full...)

Married man taking me for a ride and dumping without closure

Q.   I am 34 single been in a few bad relations and have always been dumped. After 4 years I recently met this man online and he started off with lies. It turned out he was married with a Pico and he says it's his conscience which made him speak the ...

A.   25 December 2017: His wife probably started to suspect he was cheating on her. You seem upset that you caught him cheating with others, hey, you have no right to get upset at that because you are helpng him cheat on his wife. he is only using you, as for him ... (read in full...)

How do I choose between my two men?

Q.   I'm in love with two men one ive known for four years and one ive been with 10 months and I cant choose and its starting to depress me and stress me out having to choose the right one to settle down with, I keep thinking what if I make the wrong ...

A.   24 December 2017: The 10 month guy is filling a void which exists in the four year relationship .... something is missing from here, whether it is sexual or emotional, mental .... something the second guy fulfils. Decide what you want from life looking into the... (read in full...)

I found men's boxers next to my hot tub!

Q.   I have a hot tub in the back of the house. The yard is not fenced and there is open space behind where people often walk. Last night I found a pair of men's boxers that are not mine laying on the ground next to the tub. My wife of 19 years said ...

A.   21 December 2017: I don't really have a reason to believe that she is cheating on me .... Do I take her at her word and assume that a random person or group helped themselves to the tub while we were away The yard is not fenced, people often walk behind the open... (read in full...)

Husband is cheating, wants me to leave the marital home.

Q.   Hi, I hope you can give me some advice. My husband of 19 years asked for a divorce in April this year, straight after I finished treatment for breast cancer. There has been no intimacy for 2 years now. He has refused to leave the family home ...

A.   20 December 2017: Seek legal advise, if you are not sure where to start contact an online counselling service, such as Salvo Care Line or your nearest citizen's advice bureau. If you are living outside a major city or centre phone them. Also consider your financia... (read in full...)

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