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*unty BimBim

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I'm in a long-distance marriage and at a loss! What should I do?

Q.   I am in my second marriage and my husband and I live in separate states. There is, of course, a backstory...but my main issue is simple. He does not make our marriage a priority. In this day and age, I don't even hear from him every day. If I do, I ...

A.   18 January 2017: What is the problem for him, ongoing issues with his son? As he is not keeping you informed have you researched yourself to see why your husband's return home keeps being delayed? While I will say our children are our priority your hu... (read in full...)

I’m angry with his mom and his sister and have reached a breaking point. I need input!

Q.   Hello everyone, This is a long so please bear with me. I live with my boyfriend and his sister. Some background info: his sister is the youngest. She is a bit spoiled by her parents and doesn't have friends for various reasons. She's a princes...

A.   17 January 2017: I've recently had a few long, long flights so can empathise with you and your boyfriend feeling let down when you finally landed and your expected lift was not available. However, from reading through it appears it could all have been miscommu... (read in full...)

He says my body is his.

Q.   My partner of 3 yrs and i have a beautiful little girl who is 1. Lately my partner has been trying touching me and trying to penetrate me whilst we are playing with our daughter which i have put a stop to. He has started sayimg he can touch me ...

A.   17 January 2017: If you are planning to take your child and run for the hills you need to be aware your partner may be able to stop you legally removing the child from Australia. Your partner's behaviour is not normal. I suggest you talk to your GP or child he... (read in full...)

Was that a one night stand?

Q.   A couple of weeks ago I was talking to a woman and we were looking to keep it casual. Friends with benefits if you will. Then when we get to my place asked her if she would like to have sex. She said no, and thought I was very attractive and fun, ...

A.   17 January 2017: Going out on a limb here reading between the lines she might have been looking for a relationship and now feels that she was coerced into having sex. The first 'no' should have meant no, not "persuade me" I realise her actions after her initial ... (read in full...)

I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?

Q.   My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...

A.   17 January 2017: Men are not brainless lumps of meat who, when they see a bit of pussy (to use President Elect's terminology) just have to whip out the old fella and let it have its way. How insulting your words are to so many good, honest, hardworking, loving, ... (read in full...)

Is she his EX? Is my BF being honest to me? He seems very emotionally connected to his woman he says he is helping due to the woman's health issues

Q.   About almost TWO years ago, my boyfriend who is 37 years old asked me (28 years old) to do him a favour and to please call his female ”friend” (27 years old) to give her an address (which I looked up and it happened to be of a lawyer as far as I can ...

A.   17 January 2017: From your question I believe the following: There is a woman from your country, currently married and living in the States who your boyfriend considers a friend. Previously he has believed she, and by association her children, were in danger f... (read in full...)

If I am talking online to a guy, just talking as friends, with nothing sexual said, BUT is it cheating for me to do this?

Q.   Sometimes I talk to someone on Skype (just text never camera or voice), I came across them on Tumblr and we became friends. He is a guy and we mostly talk about random things, never anything sexual. He knows I have a boyfriend and to be honest h...

A.   17 January 2017: Why would your boyfriend dump you for talking to other people? Or having friends? The fact you keep this person a secret from your boyfriend is indicative of an unhealthy relationship. Maybe you could start introducing him to the idea of you ... (read in full...)

I'm panicking my boyfriend will cheat on a guy's trip to Cuba. How should I respond or act in this situation?

Q.   My boyfriend is in Cuba for one week on a guy's trip. I am beside myself with worry that he is going to cheat. I have read that prostitutes are around every corner there and they are dirt cheap. The anxiety is hard to take. I contact him a...

A.   16 January 2017: Everywhere, everywhere in the world there are hookers, standing on corners, working the bars, lurking in stairwells, yes, possibly even just around the corner from where your boyfriend lives there is a hooker, just waiting like a dark malevolent ... (read in full...)

He ignores me. Feel like I'm walking on egg shells. Is there any hope for this troubled relationship? What should I do?

Q.   What should I do about this relationship?. I will just tell you what happened recently. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year. There have been a lot of times where we have argued. He has a very short fuse. I feel like I am walking on eg...

A.   16 January 2017: Bloody hell, what is there here to love? Even his sister says you should leave him. Him saying goodbye forever and then adding kisses to it was a control mechanism, to keep you hooked in. He, and his family, use his drinking problem as an ex... (read in full...)

I feel like my boyfriend isn't really committed to me!

Q.   Hi, I'm just looking for some advice. I've been with my boyfriend for 3 years now and I'm really unhappy. I feel like he isn't really committed to me, I'll give you some examples. He's messaged other girls behind my back and admitted he l...

A.   16 January 2017: Sometimes being on our own is better than being with somebody who saps our energy, who isn't interested in recognising a relationship has flaws and requires some work. By telling you to find somebody else your boyfriend is demonstrating he lazy,... (read in full...)

Why do I have to hunt down my vacationing boyfriend by text before he answers?

Q.   I need your help. I need to know whether I should end a 3.5 year relationship. My boyfriend is traveling outside the country with family. He has been in touch by text because it's expensive to send texts and make phone calls. So his texts...

A.   16 January 2017: He is travelling with his family ... your age is listed as late 30s, so I assume he is an adult as well. Right now, while he is travelling with his family, his focus will be on them, doing family stuff. That doesn't mean you are not important, it ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend came back different from vacation

Q.   My boyfriend went home for two weeks and came back different. We texted over the phone while he was gone and he seemed fine. However, when I picked him up from the airport he did not seem impressed to see me. He acted somewhat aloof. Since then, ...

A.   15 January 2017: While it does seem a little odd that your boyfriend appears to have changed while he was away you can take heart from the fact he wants to try new things WITH YOU! Maybe he sees the relationship in a bit of a rut, the fact you feel you are not ... (read in full...)

He seemed interested, but I was at work.

Q.   A customer came to apply for a house and seemed like he was interested in me. He asked my name, then told me his as he left. He came back the next day and asked me who would help him with his housing application as I was going somewhere else. I came ...

A.   15 January 2017: I don't see anything in what you have written to indicate this guy was interested in you ... there are alternate explanations for all you have written, for example I always ask for a name when I am dealing with a department or organisations where ... (read in full...)

What can do, I am still learning how to negotiate conflict in a relatonship.

Q.   My relationship recently ended with my girlfriend of nearly a year. There was a falling out at my uncle's wedding where my girlfriend was heavily intoxicated and left the dinner table to vent to a bartender about things she did not like about my ...

A.   15 January 2017: Your girlfriend's mother was wrong, a "Man" is not responsible for how another adult behaves ... the person who was responsible for your girlfriend getting drunk and then mouthing off about your family was (TA DARRH) the girl! Her behaviou... (read in full...)

Should I listen to my heart or to my mind?

Q.   Hi, i have fallen for my assistant. Its just that we are so different. We come from different strata s of society, different upbringing and different religion. We have different tastes. But we get along very well in office. Now i cant stop thinking...

A.   14 January 2017: What are your assistant's feelings on this, have you and she dated or are you admiring her from a distance? Have you considered what life might be like if you two DID fall in love with each other and get married. What would be the cultural... (read in full...)

Being just friends makes sense but I don't know how to approach this!

Q.   Hi everyone, I (23/m) met a girl (22/f) last year over the course of a job where we were both away from home. During our time there we became really good friends and it was after the time had ended (and I had broken up with a different girl) ...

A.   14 January 2017: You both seem to be on the same page in that you both toyed with the idea of a relationship and currently you would like to be more but she would prefer to be friends. I expect you are dealing with some mixed emotions right now, some regret, ... (read in full...)

I am worried about letting my daughter's father back into her life.

Q.   Hello everyone. I'm a single mum to my beautiful 8 year old daughter and I have struggled in the past but I have always got by. I was 16 when I found out I was pregnant with her, and at the insistence of her dad, I went through with the pregnanc...

A.   14 January 2017: It sounds as if it is his girlfriend pushing for the reconciliation and he is going along with it. From your question it also seems that she has always known she has a daddy ... and that his brother, her uncle, is not a stranger to her even tho... (read in full...)

My boyfriend says I can't leave him because he's planned the next 5 years around me!

Q.   Have I fallen out of love with him or am i just depressed? Recently i can't bring myself to say i love you to my boyfriend. We have been friends for 3 years and have dated since last May. In October i felt the same way as i do now just feeling dow...

A.   14 January 2017: Maaaaaate! He has messed you around, not vice versa! He told his ex he loved her, and she was cow enough to record him and then let you listen to it!! She sucks up to his mum and has abused you in the past. You don't need that sort of crap in ... (read in full...)

I've got an ex husband, an ex fiance and a new guy who all want me

Q.   I'm 39 divorced and had been dating someone for 3 years. I knew him from university.He lives in another country. We became engaged. I have gone through a lot for this long distance relationship to make it work. I applied for a fiancé visa for him ...

A.   12 January 2017: Your ex husband is an ex for a reason, leave him in the past where he belongs. Your ex fiancé .... lots of questions here, what country is he coming from, could he (perhaps) need your relationship with him to be intact in order to get into the... (read in full...)

Am I wrong? Is she being unreasonable? Would be unprofessional to tell her what transpired, when I was asked not to by my management?

Q.   I was called into a meeting today at work to discuss something, which wasn't a HUGE deal but which was asked to be kept confidential until he other people involved had been informed. My friend at work asked me what the meeting was about and I sa...

A.   12 January 2017: Say to you "you are my friend, why are you asking me to act unprofessionally and to put my job at risk" ... (read in full...)

How can I stop him bringing up my ex'?

Q.   My boyfriend constantly keeps on about my past. I'm 4 years older than him and had a long-term relationship with someone else before we met. He's only ever really had flings and more casual relationships before me. We've been together 4 years but ...

A.   11 January 2017: I agree with both Brown Wolf and N91, its very odd that he has started this after three years of not mentioning the ex, and yes, you need to ask him what it has started. Reiterate once more that it really bugs you, and you are about to snap. Q... (read in full...)

Should I tell my ex that feelings have resurfaced for him even though we are both married to others?

Q.   Hi guys! My ex-partner and I separated amicably over a decade ago, and keep in contact and remain friendly towards one another for the sake of our fifteen year old daughter, whom we co-parent. Our relationship, which lasted for about eight years, f...

A.   11 January 2017: No, what would it achieve? What are you HOPING it will achieve? You already have a good relationship with him, I assume he is happy with his second wife, what do you think your confessions might do to that marriage? Are there children of that mar... (read in full...)

How should I act towards him for the best outcome?

Q.   A while ago I kissed someone from work who I had liked for a while. He told me he had feelings for me and we began texting. -But then later said because his ex works at the same place nothing could happen. And then kissed a different co wor...

A.   10 January 2017: This guy sounds like a real droob .... playing all the single women off each other. The best way to act around him is professionally, be polite and courteous, but don't indulge in casual chit chat or office gossip. And NO flirting. Look fo... (read in full...)

Can a seven year relationship be over because of a lie said 6 years ago? Am I completely in the wrong here ?

Q.   My Partner [30 F] of 7 years broke up with me [32 M]for lying. She found out I met my son (1year old at the time) when I was abroad 6 years ago. Myself and my partner had just broken up at the time so I was single when abroad. I never told her I...

A.   10 January 2017: Personal opinion here ... any person, male or female, who forces another person to chose between them and a child is not worth two pinches of goat shit! I hope, even though you chose her over a child, that you supported your child financially ... (read in full...)

Why would a man persist with a LDR if he was not attracted to the woman? Why even tell the woman he "loves" her?

Q.   Would a man have a long distance relationship with a woman who he wasn't attracted to and even tell her he loves her? Why would he want to do that if he later admits he is not attracted to the woman? Is it loneliness ? Is this a common thing ...

A.   10 January 2017: From my observations .... some men will strike a long distance relationship with women because in many cases those relationships remain as online (or phone) only and do not require much effort apart from the odd session of phone sex etc etc. In ... (read in full...)

Am I being over sensitive? or is my reaction understandable?

Q.   Feeling fed up! So I'm about to turn 30 in 2 days time I've spent the last year dreading the time coming I don't know why - I know age is just s number etc however my 2 best friends have been insisting that we must do something to celebrate my ...

A.   8 January 2017: I would be feeling a bit miffed as well .... you could try asking them if they have any low cost suggestions as they had previously seemed keen to mark the occasion. BTW ... the best years of your life are about to begin, not only will you reac... (read in full...)

Why was my BF not receptive enough to my naughty Snapchat video?

Q.   I sent my BF a racy Snapchat video. I don't want to say exactly but it was definitely "naughty" and involved private parts. Well, it took him 2 hours to see it and respond. He said... "Mmmmmm. How am I supposed to sleep tonight after seeing t...

A.   8 January 2017: Maybe he wasn't in the mood, maybe he isn't into sexy videos, maybe it didn't turn him on, maybe he had a headache. The person to have an honest conversation with is your boyfriend, we don't know what he was thinking, or what he felt, anything... (read in full...)

How do I get my friend interested in the dating scene?

Q.   Hi everyone, this is surely going to be a very long question and I'd appreciate any genuine answers as I'm doing this for a friend I care about. So my friend has had a pretty straight yet unusual growing up. Went to a boarding house for 6 year...

A.   5 January 2017: A few years ago a member of my then circle of friends and acquaintances was the only one not in a relationship ... we all introduced him to single women and gave lots of advice. Imagine our surprise when, one day seemingly out of the blue, he... (read in full...)

Guy says he doesn't like me, but others say the opposite. What do you think? ?

Q.   Question: Every guy I know says this guy obviously likes me, but the guy himself said to me it's not that way? He's close to me since my break up 5 months ago. He's brought me out, treated me to food and movies, would come all the way to my neighb...

A.   4 January 2017: The guy in question has told you there is nothing but friendship. Why be disrespectful and refuse to believe him? He knows what he thinks and feels .... not those other people. ... (read in full...)

My boyfriend didn't include me in his birthday plans

Q.   Is my boyfriend trying to distance himself from me? Or is he trying to break up with me slowly? My boyfriend is acting like a jerk and didnt invite me to his birthday celebration. We spent NYE together and everything was normal. He was ...

A.   3 January 2017: I agree with Honeypie, the person to ask is your boyfriend. It is odd that he appears to have excluded you from his family celebrations, are you on good terms with them all?... (read in full...)

I do so much for my boyfriend while he does very little in return

Q.   Hi. I'm a 23 year old female, I have been with my boyfriend for almost two and a half years (He's 22), my boyfriend is kind, caring, a romantic in small doses (like buys ice cream on random occassions, or other things) I moved in with him ...

A.   3 January 2017: STOP doing his laundry, if he choses to let his clothes sit and get smelly that's his problem, he is a grown up, let him deal with his laundry in a grown up manner. If the deal is that whoever doesn't cook does the dishes, and he doesn't do the d... (read in full...)

My jobless, lazy boyfriend is using me for money. He thinks what's mine is also his

Q.   Okay so my boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, he has been living with me and my family for about 8 months, for the past 6 months he has been unemployed and living off of me completely. Recently I was fortunate enough to come into a ...

A.   1 January 2017: Like the heading says, your jobless, lazy boyfriend is using you for money. Don't let him. Kick his lazy using self to the kerb! Get your parents to help, after all he is sponging off them as well, ask them to tell him his free ride is over, an... (read in full...)

Why tell me about this other girl when he knows how I feel? We live in different countries

Q.   My online friend recently changed his bio from in a relationship to single after 3 weeks . I asked him about it and he said that they didn't have social media so that was why. But earlier that week he told me that he wasn't going to tell me their ...

A.   1 January 2017: This guy is playing mind games with you. He is also using you to get his kicks. He is also obviously telling your lies .... You need to ask yourself if he is a positive influence on your life or a negative one. From what you have to... (read in full...)

Would you tolerate a man calling you extremely derogatory, filthy name during arguments?

Q.   Would you talk with a man who calls you a c....t during arguments ? He seems to think this is acceptable and rarely apologises . Even if he does , it happens again the very next time we argue . I've had enough and my confidence is completely shot . ...

A.   1 January 2017: This behaviour and language is not normal for men, however it is normal for SOME men, a very small majority. There is NEVER any excuse for this behaviour. If I was being called these names on a regular basis I would be doing my best to ens... (read in full...)

Waiting for a proposal for 3 years and then the ring was not to my taste. Am I worrying about things that matter in this situation?

Q.   Iv been waiting over 3 and a half years for a proposal for a wedding After much nagging about marriage I got a proposal with a 219 pound argos ring when he earns over 20 000 per annum which shows no saving as he bought even this on a per monthly ...

A.   1 January 2017: Well, I am sure if I was your boyfriend I'd be telling you to stick the original ring somewhere dark. It sounds to me he had to be nagged into proposing and when he finally caved you didn't like the ring he chose so you got daddy to get you one you ... (read in full...)

Is there still a chance for us ? Maybe it has been way long over and I just didn't want to accept it? What can I say?

Q.   I've only known my boyfriend for eight months and we've been dating for sixth months but it has been an on and off relationship. The first few weeks or month was everything I ever wanted to be in a relationship where my boyfriend would take me ...

A.   1 January 2017: Sweetheart, you've had a very lucky escape. Instead of hanging around waiting for this nasty, malicious, jealous, angry Piece of Work to decide between you ad another a if you were two pieces of meat in a butchers shop, pick up your skirts and run ... (read in full...)

Why is this happening? He has no time for me. I am fed up and ready to just walk away!

Q.   My boyfriend and i have been together for four years now we have three girls together and now we are having problems because he doesn't involve me in any part of his life what so ever. He doesn't invite me out anywhere when he goes out with his...

A.   30 December 2016: Find a womens centre or a neighbourhood legal centre and find out what your rights are. I believe there are also some excellent resources online available to women in the US, do some research, ask questions and see what help is available. Your ... (read in full...)

What do I do? Don't want to split up. Yet also don't want a Bf who behaves like a cheater 2.

Q.   hiya everyone me and my fiance have been together for 3 years. A few month ago he started to add women on facebook the women he added were the type of women he said he would like as a girlfriend. I asked him why he was adding them (he hardly uses ...

A.   30 December 2016: His facebook has not been hacked, he is lying to you and hoping you are dumb enough to believe his BS. He knows very well how those women got onto his friends list. What are you going to do about this? Your fiancé needs to 'fess up, and th... (read in full...)

If you are a parent or a carer of special needs child can you help advise me on any of my questions ? I am not asking for experts, just parents in a similar situation

Q.   My severly disabled son has to go into residential care soon . We don't want this but he is very aggressive and they need to take him in to stabilise him because he is on too many medications and they think he will be better going to school and ...

A.   27 December 2016: Nittynora, the best people to put your questions to are the people who are looking after your son, print off a few copies and hand them out to everybody, your social worker, the person in charge at the residential centre, and let them know you would ... (read in full...)

I can't walk away from my married guy but I can't handle the situation either

Q.   I need help to deal with this situation without judgement please. I am having a relationship with my pastor. Well most would say affair but it is more than that to me. I'm 26 and a single Mum and he helped me so much and my wee girl. I ended up ...

A.   27 December 2016: I'm back. I've been a single mother, its not easy, especially when we are trying to make our way in the world, regardless the circumstances that brought us to our single parenthood (a failed marriage in my case), there are always people quick to p... (read in full...)

I can't walk away from my married guy but I can't handle the situation either

Q.   I need help to deal with this situation without judgement please. I am having a relationship with my pastor. Well most would say affair but it is more than that to me. I'm 26 and a single Mum and he helped me so much and my wee girl. I ended up ...

A.   27 December 2016: Your pastor is lying to you, he is lying to his wife, his children if he has any, he is lying to his parishioners and he is lying to his church. His God, however, knows the truth! Cant walk away? What a load of BS! All you need to do is tell him... (read in full...)

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