A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was supposed to see him on the Saturday but I never heard from him and I text him in the afternoon to check whether it was still on,he didn't reply so I tried calling a couple hours later but he'd switched his phone off.he phoned back at about 10 and said he'd see me Tuesday-I said what are you doing tomorrow and he just snapped that he's busy with his kids and to f off and go away then I heard some woman in the background say who are you on the phone to and he said nobody and did the laugh he always does when he's been caught in a lie.I put the phone down and kept it switched off today but I just checked it and he hasn't so much as sent a text.we've been together for 5 years and he's just been abroad for a month,we haven't seen eachother since he got back but he's obviously in no rush to see me.what should I do? I can't believe he would treat me with so little respect to not even bother to make up a lie about who the woman was,just to leave it when he knows I probably heard her
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 February 2016):
 He feels that he has some sort of hold over you, he is jealous because he doesn't want anybody else to have you, don't mistake that as feelings that he cares about you, because that is not always the case. He wants to sleep around with others but he certainly doesn't want you to do the same. One rule for him and one for you. Please don't allow him to treat you like this, surely you can see you deserve better than this?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi thanks for the advice guys-I've been thinking about ending it with him for a while but it's not easy when you've known someone a long time.The swearing isn't as bad as it sounds being as it's coming from him-he regularly tells people to s-ck their mother over nothing lol so I don't get too offended by it.I do wonder if he's trying to get me to end it with him-what I don't get though is why when he was abroad he kept checking up on me and nagging me about other guys,why would he be jealous?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 "he did the laugh he always does when he's been caught in a lie." Oh my dear, if you know that laugh and you know he's a liar, it's time to move on.
Just block him on your phone and assume he's moved on as well.
Sorry to hear he's been treating you with so little respect, but here's the thing, you won't be able to teach him how to treat you with respect. He doesn't care. He. doesn't. care.
You have to treat yourself with respect and step number one is saying good bye to a nasty name calling liar.
I don't know the culture in Barbados so I don't know how this will affect you but I would be sure to gather all the people I know love and care for me around me. The family members who have my back, the friends who have my back. I would let them know what's happening and then I would allow them to support me through the end of what is evidently a very toxic relationship.
"f off and go away"? Fine, I'd say to him, you got it. Bye forever! And then block him for good.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (15 February 2016):
You are better off on your own Sweetie. Sounds to me like you have had a lucky escape. Don't even give him the chance to explain, he doesn't deserve you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (15 February 2016):
 If someone told me to F off - I would NOT want to talk to them again. It's just not OK. And calling me a nobody? Ditto. NOT OK.
So what I would do, is block & delete his phone number and pretend he fell of the face of the Earth. Time to move on.
If he has been gone a month I'd guess the first people he'd want to see are his kids and then his GF, but instead he ignored you...
Don't be offended that he didn't bother LIE some more to you - just CUT him off and move on. I know 5 years is a long time together, but why stick it out with a man who treats you with such disrespect?
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (15 February 2016):
 He told you to "Fuck off and go away" . Not only is he unreliable he sounds like a pig and a disrespectful one at that. It is just as easy to say "my girlfriend" as it is to say "nobody" when asked. I think he knows you know that he has been up to no good and I doubt very much that you will be hearing anything from him in the near future. I wouldn't be putting up a fight for someone not worth fighting for instead just walk away knowing that he is just some jerk that you no longer have to deal with. Plenty of good guys out there.
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